Episode 19 - Big Beautiful Bass Fish

hey what's going on everybody welcome back to the podcast just wanted to talk to you again real quick about the shows coming up in March you guys sold out all the later shows so [ __ ] huge thank you now we got two shows a night fully booked we're really excited we were not expecting this at all so we're really hyped to get on the road and show you what we got planned that said we decided to add a later show to San Francisco so now San Francisco has a late night show if you're watching this on YouTube check the link in the description if you're checking us out on iTunes head over to our Twitter twitter.com slash tiny meet gang or look us up on YouTube or you can check out our patreon the links will be posted pretty much everywhere so go cop a ticket they're already going pretty quickly so I would advise if you're thinking about it don't wait just go do it alright guys thanks so much enjoy this episode peace what everybody welcome back to the podcast I want to address something real quick we got you know our boy Consuelo a few months ago nine months few weeks ago complained that we never roasted names and he promised to roast some names and we never did know we tried once I mean we tried and just everybody's names were ass plane yeah just plain Anna yeah we supposed to make fun of that and I know and that kind of nice you have a name that 60% of girls have and and and them oh yeah yeah yeah that's good actually yeah that's great well so so there you go Anna I all the Anna's listening right now and the more Anna more like anama uh-huh so I kind of thought we just weren't being very creative so when I saw our boy Consuelo I'm like what does that mean and it means so you looked up the meaning of his name yeah cuz you know I was trying to be creative because he wanted to diss him that bad yeah I just wanted to you know I'm proud of you well he wanted it he was like no I know that's no some dedication education yeah that's how much I love you guys so I look up the meaning of Consuelo and my understanding is it means comfort which kind of sounds like comfort Wow so it does shout out our boy come for it come for it you're the Fort Knox have come there you go maybe we'll go back to roasting the names we'll pull up some names and yeah we should next time we should actually pull up the names of all the $10 contributors yeah and just just go through them yeah and find every bad one yeah you know yeah like every every animal every anima there it is again excellent job there any let's see Jared I just hate that name Jared Jared why do all Jared's touch little kids do they oh yeah well I mean there's that one guy the one the Jerry Jerry Jerrod yeah ruined it for Jared's everywhere Jared Kushner kind of seems like he touches little boys too who is that dude in Trump's cabinet yeah I don't know I don't know more about politics yeah I think he's in his cabinet he might not be I could have that all the way wrong I just know that he looks like a soft man with secrets hmm when a man looks to like his shoulders are too far forward and it and he kind of just has a cadence about his speech you know he's got a bad secret it's like what'd he do fine lock doors look at the closer the shoulders the worse the secret yeah I mean you just yeah you just know you're gonna dive into that guy's search history or anything YouTube history you know any that's the I was trying to think the other day I was like I was like what would what would be the most revealing thing internet history not so much because growing up I feel like in the 2000s we learned yeah to clear our history or use incognito mode right that's something that's like absolutely drilled into my brain now I'm gonna pull up anything racy at all true it's going in incognito right yeah with YouTube yeah you don't really you don't really you know you're not really worried about that I looked at my YouTube history the other day I was like what it was like so weird and revealing I mean yeah like when was i searching Jake Paul shirtless what was that that didn't mean I didn't even remember searching that what am I was like you know it's ammo for a video or something yeah you look at the history in your psyche hot yeah [ __ ] to you actually you know what you know what I'm gonna pull it up right now Jake Paul shirtless so not G my search history Oh mark McGrath part hey boy fart sound effect and then the next one fart sound effect real oh wow good kotico my own name yeah there it is tiny meet gang oh no insanely chill all three in a row I was just on a binge self-esteem binge there I'm so awesome I was sick I must see how sick I am funny is something I searched just the word funny I was don't think that makes me laugh that's like that like time or that time of the night where you watch a scary movie and it's you have like half an hour left before you go to bed you don't want to go to bed yeah you need the bed you need something I bleed yeah you're just like you just search something funny yeah yo Jake Paul shirtless yeah anything that'll make you feel better um wait I had one more thing about shoulders being rolled forward that's on my mind yeah a soft men with do you think their shoulders are rolled so far forward because they have to jerk it in inconspicuous places incognito mode incognito jerks in the movie theater under the popcorn bucket that's a good bit man thanks dude that's really good is that a that's sarcasm like spit oh not at all no I like that okay all right I am so we got a really interesting question indeed the community section of the patreon people post there and Sam scre neck skur neck skur neck skur neck sounds like scre neck do doop dudes scre on your neck let's go lay suffer through that one what's it say I'm scre neck yeah that's that I mean assuming it's a female that's that's what they're gonna be that's what dudes gonna be saying mind closed doors nice you guys scre nape same a nice inner this is just getting worse and worse yeah it sounds like a slur or some kind of because it sounds like a like a skull [ __ ] of some sort yeah oh he pinned me down and he spurned icked me yeah gave me scre neck oh there you go yeah get old sailor disease scurvy of the neck well you got a nose bad see this is why we this is why we you know we need to mix that idea in the first place that's just like you got HPV and scre neck what skur neck again yeah I'm sorry I thought really that [ __ ] no we used a condom no look at the base of your balls on them don't come on it still you still get it when you when you give head with a condom yeah you still get scre neck yeah it's all over your neck you see I see your neck you see it's turning green yeah that's the scre neck right there that's not from that fake chain you were wearing it's a it's the scar neck going to work pretty soon was gonna even turn into a reptile did you hear what Jessica ask ur neck oh that's gross she was the blonde Brad she said she wore a dental dam I don't know you ever seen one of those I've never seen a dental dam yeah I've seen one I've used one on on what a ham sandwich you're practicing you put it on your flashlight retroflex luck with the dental dam respecting it [ __ ] I don't know I know I just want to make sure this I've had four I've had four sexual partners I don't want to transpose anything who knows how many people have used you the roommate flashlight laying a dental dam over a flashlight is like the loneliest thing that's what Jared's do on it that's how you actually gets kernig we should eating out of a ham sandwich oh that's the grossest thing like May layer some mail on there and just in the whole society pretty quick vertically and you put a dental dam over a vertical ham sandwich and just what are you doing later I'm just gonna practice the lotion in the sock Hut you know remember that now wet in sock now you heard that no I don't know no you put a ziploc bag full of lotion in a sock it was like supposed to like sure resemble a vagina I don't why I tried it did you try it yeah and felt awful really pulls in there for like two seconds pulled it out like yeah this is nothing like it I don't even know what a vagina feels like but they do nothing like that now like this is where the nerd and me came out I'm like this is not enough lotion never need an entire tub the displacement of the lotion around my penis just does not fill the bag for not the right sensation it's just yeah um so yeah Sam's garnish [Laughter] so she asked the question she said or he or she just unisex name yeah he or she said now this is a pretty intense question yeah get ready for this one music recommendations that's the title the question is what are some good songs Oh easily tell me lies by Fleetwood Mac that's a great one that's a good one yeah Loki a whole lot of love Led Zeppelin good song is that the whole oh no that's DJ it's also good so that's that's a great song anything by tide ty dolla sign what's a it's another good song let's see a whole lot of love remit I mean make it rain remix okay great song yeah any anything in the department store is usually good yeah yeah anything 80s yeah they Sugar Ray Sugar Ray David Bowie anything by Cannibal Corpse the national anthem you know what play some Sugar Ray right now that's a good one yeah play what we can cuz then we're gonna get [ __ ] copyrighted oh that's right so in trying to do that I accidentally press the spacebar and it stopped recording like an idiot and we lost like ten minutes of really good [ __ ] I'm not that pissed about it I'm not but the rest of episode is really really funny so enjoy it sorry god I'm not damn it dude so is this you alright so Cody god dammit Cody might have hit the spacebar and we don't know but basically we just missed out on like good 10-15 minutes of [ __ ] audio and it was so funny yeah it was so goddamn funny I'll cut it out as a poem you're talking about eating out a ham sandwich and stuff without even in there um yeah I think that was in there but no wait cut out oh right I don't know man that sucks I was just mmm damn it yeah we were playing about practicing on uh and all the [ __ ] with the live show that all got cut off it did all right so now we got to redo that [ __ ] it's fine all right so classic us podcast we'd [ __ ] this up so live show he's Cody so disappointed now cuz we're honest no I'm out so a super moody for the rest of the time it's fine now that's fine hmm it's okay shout out to all you wait the music [ __ ] all got what music [ __ ] yeah all of it god [ __ ] damn it okay always whatever whatever shout out to all you guys for selling out the shows yeah you guys sold that [ __ ] out in an hour yep three out of four was very surprising mmm you know this is something that last time we posted the link for the show it didn't I mean like we didn't I don't know it didn't sell out as fast like it took us a little bit longer partly because it was over 21 I think yep so we didn't know what to expect and so we posted the shows that take a link for the shows they went on sale on Thursday and they all sold out except for San Francisco in an hour yo so now because of that my agent called me and we're gonna do two shows per night BAM so now there's a second show and tickets on or on sale now we didn't get tickets so gohkappa ticky yeah so go gohkappa ticky you know they say it gohkappa ticky it's gonna be it's gonna be great it's gonna be a night you know just a night of practicing you know practicing yeah we're gonna bring some bring some hints see this Joker's make any [ __ ] sense anymore that does I don't know where to call back to well we're talking about practicing eating out on a ham sandwich yeah and it was fun oh we didn't get any I wanna you didn't get none of that fleshlight stuff in there dude we know it ended right on the fleshlight stuff well okay I was funny we were giggling yeah I know I know I'm sorry no I'm sorry it's my fault I'm [ __ ] did we get the world I'm sorry man dude dude it's my bad no I'm sorry dude it's my bad I can tell you're very upset by this anyway yeah come out to the show it's gonna be fire in between the shows will do the VIP hey sorry the recording stopped again right here let's pick it back up right now back in it again man this is um this will not be an issue because we just got the keys to the ding-ding palace I don't even know if that was put in there yeah was that in there I don't know I don't know I don't know we got to stop talking about it we gotta stop dwelling on it it's the worst thing that's happened I think that's probably one of the funniest and like little bits of yeah it was just fun yeah and it got all got [ __ ] a race because of me anyways I want to give a quick shout out to my parents oh yeah yeah well I want a goose yeah do you have something to say I have a special shout out okay this sounds like some bad like radio thing we got a special shout out going out to mrs. call it Jessie it's Sam's Kearn expert day hey shout out to scam shout at the same scorning we want to send you a little shout out you know you got that scar neck on your left and we hope you get better we know you're dealing with that scar neck right now Sam so we gonna play you a little something every morning buy sugar gay we know you was getting up on the bed with that scar neck on your neck you didn't even know to got to the mirror so you know one-night stands then horrible we can make it a good one what does sugar gay this we don't make this nice but to show gay gay it was great it's really soothing really soothing to know what you were saying tonally though that was great dope all right this is my formal apology I have a prepared statement for this looking to camera now missus college ESIC on the previous episode I appear to be very dismissive of your concerns and your overall interest in our comedic endeavors and I just want to formally apologize for that i 100% appreciate your interest in what we're doing and I'm sorry that's amazing that's beautiful thank you that's beautiful you know what mom I'm sorry as well all right I'm sorry we got to watch what we say when we're talking about mothers you know there are mothers yeah and they deserve every ounce of respect we had muster yes all right yeah I'm sorry about the Elan [ __ ] my wife song and I'm sorry about talking about eating our flashlights while you're at dinner probably I know you I know you're watching this and you're probably eating food and so that probably made it a little bit tough what can i what i can assume is a quinoa salad yeah and i'm sorry I want to give also but I want to give a shout out to you guys um you know what my dad just did know he finished a 100-mile marathon in Anchorage Alaska on Saturday he feeds it in 33 hours in minus 18 degrees Celsius I think or 28 oh my god honing a 40-pound sled the whole way you can never complain around him ever again I know okay and my mom did the 50k same thing you could never complain when you get home I know about anything [ __ ] YouTube like oh yeah oh yeah yeah try pulling a sled yeah for even ten minutes yeah in minus 18 is like try get it try reaching the 20 hour mark running straight not sleeping and knowing you have 13 hours less [ __ ] try getting to that point yeah but no you make your little youtube video yeah it's hard dad all right editing takes a while it takes a long time yeah oh man um how crazy is that [ __ ] that's pretty [ __ ] insane I know something I'll never do yeah I don't that couldn't I feel like it's inevitable I'm gonna end up doing that [ __ ] yeah yeah someone was like yet someone told me they were like yeah you just people always end up like their parents looks like happens so you can't you can't really avoid it so at 40 you're gonna be moving sleds yeah I think I'm just gonna slowly get it like you'd be like last year I have no idea why I did a marathon but I did it that's why I'm saying slowly creeping in let's realize he's [ __ ] happens yeah signing up for marathons [ __ ] it I think I was heading down that path and I I wanted to change it yeah yeah you know my dad likes sit on the computer yeah reading about things yeah and read about things is good but I'm like wanna be active yeah so I'm gonna change that oh nice that much that's why you're hitting the gym yeah hitting the gym yeah dude headphones died yesterday tweeted about it I saw that yeah straight up sounded like this dude was like clapping cheeks yeah cuz he's doing jumping jacks so it was just like I know we've talked about the gym a lot just take a take a break and take a breather I know we talked about the gym a lot and people bring their lives to the gym yeah I was getting worse for me yesterday I go to the gym this guy has his dog no his dog three bags in a camera man with a camera what are you shooting a full-on reality show in here this is not your home oh you [ __ ] why do you need your [ __ ] dog at the gym what are you gonna what is your dog gonna guide you through curls and this is Murphy yeah is Murphy he may you know he helps me out through the through the through the deadlifts here guys just [ __ ] cleaning his dog yeah we put Murphy on the bar just you know ah yeah get things going like warm up set curl Murphy well guys on roids talk like they have like yeah just so angry dude I was reading an article yesterday someone sent out an article about what it feels like to be on steroids oh yeah what's that like it made me want to do them yeah he's just like he's just like dude it's awesome you recover way faster you smashed through every max you've ever had it's like your libido is crazy high he's like I used to get I mean this isn't awesome obviously I wouldn't want this but he's like I used to get boners in the gym from looking at hot gym girls just by looking at just like my you know my mind would wander and I just all of a sudden looked down and rapid sporting a huge boned out I like how there's all these like like there's all these images and like information that's supposed to deter you from doing steroids but all of it looks [ __ ] hot yeah like they're like oh you're gonna turn into this I'm like that looks [ __ ] cool just [ __ ] the Hulk the guy can [ __ ] all the time I feel like I'm 18 years old permanently it my all I got to do is shoot that in my ass not even dude you just gotta take a pill oh it's easier now yeah it's like not like steroids aren't as intense I think as we as we think like that so the needle will a lot of people do them first of all yeah and I think like testosterone I think y'all got to do is take the tossa testosterone just like doctors prescribe yep and then you feel like that not that I'm gonna do it I'm never gonna do it but like that's because that [ __ ] just sketches me out but I think you know like anything is okay in moderation I think steroids is one of those things yeah I'm just like we you know it's drilled into our brains that it shrinks your balls off and you get really mad all the time yeah but I don't think it actually does I don't know well but then then he was like then he was like the downside is that as soon as you go off of it I'll just lose all that [ __ ] it just makes you feel like ass because you're like I had that you know so it just makes you want to be on the gear all the time yeah what does that's a scary feeling on the gear I've never heard on the gear I never heard on the gear for juice that's what he used in the article on the gear that's how you know he was on the gear yeah it's got the insider terms he's got like the bodybuilding [ __ ] yeah Matt shoutout um in turn cold world Matt yep yeah big shout out to Matt we were working out and he goes amen if you think they're on it they probably are yeah because I was looking around the gym I was look at it like this mom who [ __ ] she dead lives like 185 but she's marginally bigger than me her arms are [ __ ] huge though and I was looking at her face on her neck and they just looked like like just like dance like up angry yeah I just like a man's neck and chin and I'm like might be on growth he just might yeah she lifted serious [ __ ] way it's not that women can't but it's like her frame would not suggest even on the best diet cuz it's like it's a lot of [ __ ] pounds I mean in that scenario it's like what's the point because you can't get to a point where you can't get to a place or you can maintain that if you go off the [ __ ] right so what are you gonna do we'll see just stay on the [ __ ] are you just getting to a point where you can just enjoy it for like a month and then just stop it like you know what I mean I think she's just getting to a point if she can throw her husband out the window he's been acting up he made a shitty little comment she's like okay all right clink thank template's then he's gonna let it fly off the handle one more time she's like all right Jared this morning dog just beats the [ __ ] out of a kid um did we get a chance to offer up some music recommendations I don't think we did no yeah I guess that all got cut off that all got cut off so yeah so Sam scre neck um you know she or he whatever unisex name I don't know if I said that before but you know it's just a weird game right now trying to repeat the [ __ ] that was sort of funny this episode is like momento yes whoa in a row everyone listening right now is like having serious deja vu yeah the swear to God they [ __ ] said that this has happened before what day is it Who am I um so she asked she says she said music recommendations that's the title of the question the question is what are some good songs that's it just what are some good songs which is awesome question what are some good songs I mean I've never even thought about it like that before what are some good songs little lies by Fleetwood Mac great song that's a [ __ ] heater yep that's a banger yeah heat seeker yeah that's a slap tastic sting day slap slap or doodle yeah that's a dink that's a keychain oh boy what else is good it's a good song um let's see make it rain remix okay yeah real good song yeah national anthem is good national anthem yep we're a virgin Fergie Fergie's version yeah freeze version real good yeah real good can we actually talk about that first thing sure now it's not awful did you watch the VA I was it was weird I don't know what she was going for I the vocal coach break that down yeah and he wasn't like to you know he didn't like inject his opinion he was just describing what she was doing from a singing aspect and was it technically correct no really yeah she sounded like not only was it weird to do the national anthem like that but it was like flat well there he pointed out some things they were like some of it is not her fault it's just characteristic of her singing like I he listened to any of her music like she does certain things like with vowels like she delivers them real flat instead of like you know a it's a like I don't know he said like she was moving her mouth horizontal versus vertical I'd yeah it just started getting real tech Oh like how okay so the opposite of how I'd eat out a ham sandwich exactly gosh okay okay that makes sense I usually think of when when I think when you mentioned something is vertical or horizontal yeah that's how I think of that you know I saw a meme handsome wait first of all I went deep Twitter last night like I was um I saw a chick do a fireball shot out of a dude's foreskin yeah that was that was something yeah they just like it was like a party dude was rock solid holding his foreskin open and so so okay so he had a boner yeah and he pulled his foreskin over his know ahead like open I spread it open oh right right okay yeah I don't really know how foreskin worse because I don't have any I don't really know well maybe I'll save this story for the show but you know okay anyway oh yeah right oh yeah right yeah that's that is a great story secret show yeah come see the show if you want to hear about Noel getting circumcised but he's like 15 or whatever 13 I got cut at 13 adults circumcised alt sir comes a preteen circumcised anyway um dudes holding his foreskin in and some other homie you gonna keep going some other home he pours fireball into it and then the girl just gets down and does like a car it was and that's it that's dad was just the whole video that was on Twitter that was on Twitter god damn the [ __ ] you find on twitter twitter another gift patoot he's hitting this girl from behind and then he starts literally hitting her like her ass cheeks are red and he just starts doing like a MMA combo like 1 2 like sucking her ass cheeks super hard and then she like pops off him and then he kicks her ass he hits it with the shin why I don't know I don't know oh you were on domestic abuse yeah clearly literally I was on some [ __ ] damn dude Twitter there's some dark [ __ ] on Twitter there's the place where I found the blac Chyna sex tape I just feel like you always end up I pretend my Google that [ __ ] you know I'm saying yeah incognito mode of course Google blac Chyna sex tape first link was Twitter Twitter's only place I could find it there's just some [ __ ] that lives on Twitter that's nowhere else I didn't like I saw a clip of it I didn't care for the whole thing I saw Club I mean it way yeah I just Hawk clip I didn't care for all the whispering [ __ ] she was doing I didn't she was like snake charm and that dudes penis did you listen to it with volume yeah say baby I'm in mm-hmm and I'm like don't ever talk to the penis don't ever talk to the penis that's what are you the dick whisperer yeah yeah is he man yeah don't do that you can't you can't you can't talk to boners yeah I mean maybe that's because we're not talking hung in uh where it looks like a [ __ ] organism you know I mean like yeah yeah at a point like it's so big it looks like it has a personality yeah yeah that's true yeah at that point you do have to kind of comment get it ready for what what's about to happen all right it's gonna be I'm gonna be warm and dark or you're about to go alright just warning you Royden meat cleaver just I can talk to dicks my power [ __ ] not one pull it out I speak dick it's okay baby what are you doing to it it's okay why is it moving holy [ __ ] yeah what is it living like an S it's moving in a circle Wow Wow it's rock hard how is it doing this yet doesn't even hurt getting longer what is going on come here baby you know yeah anyway um it was deep on Twitter what else did you find anything else I think that was the good stuff I think I think after the domestic abuse clip I was like it's time for sleep yeah yeah yeah and that's that's that was your eye bleach that was my eye bleach no no I just stared at the ceiling thinking about life who are all these random ass calls let's see okay life prank call hello Hey Dude what's up can I call you back I'm just on a podcast right now alright thanks man I gotta save that news number yeah I don't you know you know like sometimes you're really good at saving numbers other times you're like ah [ __ ] it I'll save it later and then it always comes back to bite you in the ass because that person will call you and you'll beg hello hey man what's up nothing dude chill how do you spell your name again how you spell your name okay I'm just I'm just figuring out these wedding invitations I just want to yo way speaking of wives and and [ __ ] up [ __ ] aleena I went out to dinner yesterday okay get this bro by the way dude John and beans John John and Vinny's we gonna tear it up Noel and I are going on our first double day first double day foretell they ever for me I think yeah I think so ever I think you'll be good time yeah I'm pumped favorite restaurant in LA yeah it's the [ __ ] yeah John and Vinny's everybody if you're in LA and if you get a chance that will come while we're there no definitely and make us look interesting yeah actually everyone there is famous so yeah like leo was there yeah yeah that whole number yeah I saw Tyler the Creator there are lots of miles I see him all the time there do you actually yeah okay cool man we get it Jesus you go all the time [ __ ] hell I actually sat next to a man a one time who's that I was like oh sorry Oh a man eh yeah yeah yeah weird name yeah I mean isn't it a mean I don't know a mine and I probably just push it as someone yo you're a my knee right he's like yeah dawg well so anyway we're we're eating it sweet chick which is like a few you know a few steps up the way from China Vinny's also also amazing fried chicken oh yeah I want to go to that place what's bomb is [ __ ] yeah it's incredible so we're sit next to this couple all right now it looked like a couple at first but then they're talking so loud and the dude is sitting on my side and the female is sitting on a lena side and he's just going off he's like yeah yeah I haven't dated my girlfriend for two years this and that and the whole time they're flirting I'm like if you had two year ago what are you doing here mm-hmm and this chick proceeds to tell a story about some guy and then he's like also like what you guys do and she's like well we kept it like PG 12 he's like oh nothing not even a [ __ ] I'm like first of all kind of a you know it's a nice little place don't need to talk about [ __ ] yeah then she goes well he's a married and I'm like mmm that's [ __ ] up and he goes ah what well okay that's kind of weird so then he goes a little bit further and she's like yeah he like invited me to his birthday I'm gonna go and he's like why would you go isn't that gonna be strange then she goes well I'm friends with his wife no way first of all it's a bit of an oxymoron I'm you're not friends with his wife because you almost jerked off her husband you know I don't what it constitutes PG 12 also PG 12 doesn't exist it's not yeah PG 13 yeah is the writing right yeah he said that threw me off a little bit no that's what she said she literally said PG 12 really yeah yeah this is a career sighs she's got no concept of what's going on no no no zero that's the most elation yeah wasn't it yeah yeah I don't know he's like Rich's [ __ ] Marion Marion but like we hooked up and but her yeah yeah him and my wife her or me and me and his me and his wife we're actually best friends well so Elina was like why would she do that and I was explaining to Elena that this is a career side chick doesn't have enough qualities to be a main [ __ ] hmm so she just got to sit on the side give him PG 12 hand jobs and like she was so cavalier about it just jerking off somebody's husband it's [ __ ] up to be like that used to it that it's like an age you get to eventually where it's like yeah everyone kind of everyone cheats I mean just [ __ ] husbands yeah it may be well all right maybe I took it maybe too many dark I took it kind of took it kind of dark you know what I want to talk about what logan paul is starting a podcast oh yeah dude it's so funny the way that like he's like navigating this revenue situation yep it's like youtube cut him off so then you just stop post this kid is money hungry do money hungry which we all are but I'd like to his he's cookies money hungry to a special degree yeah yeah it's like UT was his [ __ ] thing you know posing every single day yeah as soon as they turn off the money he's like [ __ ] that I'm not posting for a week now yeah he goes I'm starting a podcast yeah that's exactly what a street is exactly what we did yep when the money ran out on YouTube it was like alright well we got to find another way yeah he's just on that [ __ ] yep ten seven I can't wait till the first episode of his podcast comes out cuz I think we should do a live listening to the podcast and just roast it the whole hour-long thing I just can't imagine what he's actually gonna talk about you know saying I don't know I feel like he's got [ __ ] to talk about he probably clearly does man actually oh he does like no matter that's not saying he should talk about the shitty talks about but he's got [ __ ] he's gonna talk about it's gonna be all know that yeah when he starts just going through like taxidermy websites and he's talked about his favorite dead holes and he just started taxidermy company yeah you should yeah exterminate and taxidermy like I think that's his this is a mess calling yes is calling yeah and and serial killing yes well I don't know wants to kill humans but he definitely likes dead things yeah that's true yeah five years Logan Paul gonna be yeah what do you think yeah I think we should do a lie I think we should do a listening a reaction podcast I think we should do with the world's first reaction podcast I don't know we be the world's first but Brenda the world's first but like I'm talking an hour-long listen to an hour-long podcast and interjecting every single time they say something suit it kind of feels like stealing content but that's fair use okay well maybe not the whole hour the whole hour you guys comment below if you want comment below what you want if you want the whole hour or if you want like 45 mins you know what I'm feeling right now is just like this deep sadness that we don't have the recording from earlier I was over it I forgot about that [ __ ] alright let me shut the [ __ ] up um yeah well some you want to get into yeah so we take someone else's butthole wait damn it dude right now I'm in a bad mood I'm out this [ __ ] wait I got another bad joke dude this [ __ ] is so funny I want to do a little meme meme discussion discussion yeah yeah oh there's a meme review but I realized PewDiePie musician meme review no I mean mean discussion yeah meme Scotian alright little I want to do I want to have a little meme discussion here this is a funny meme by the cable guy on Instagram doesn't really matter these things are all regurgitate it anyways memes then alright that's the first little bit and it's like the little you know the baby with the fist up yes ate spaghetti while wearing a white shirt didn't get sauce on it he's going yeah right funny meme decently funny right I give it a 5 yeah memes now sticky it's like a deep-fried picture of a cat [ __ ] okay hands with okay hands for legs and it just says when you're walking yeah yeah oh we just had the meta stage now man that's like that's like not even that's somet it's not even meta it's just like [ __ ] weird but it's hilarious it's funny cuz it's not funny it's so true we're so we've gotten to the point in memes we're just like so much [ __ ] has been said yeah and so many formats have been created and consumed you know that this is the only thing that's funny and when you're walking deep-fried as [ __ ] pixelated as [ __ ] when you walking yeah we do be like that I was just thinking the other day like American humor must look so I mean just based on their American humor must list so uh what the [ __ ] is going on out there I don't know I think Devon is just getting trampled by a bomb in Allen road rage I hope he wins it's just screaming hell you got it man where does it here yes so then I ate out a ham sandwich again but she said when you gonna stop doing that well American humor must look so stupid to other countries let they see when you walking and it's got a hundred thousand likes they're like what what is the [ __ ] look like that when I'm walking there for a year they're like four to five years behind on memes yeah you know like what what is what are they gonna be in like what is what why do I keep getting [ __ ] calls right now here's insane hello hello oh [ __ ] I've got to handle that right [ __ ] I got a health insurance yo you know we did on my vlog we prank called a tech support company no it is Indian scam companies yeah no way yeah we did wait which vlog it should be up today oh it's wait you saw the video to post yeah oh wow when's the last one you post like two days ago no last week no yeah right you're you're [ __ ] up on time yes - time flies man I was in Whistler this weekend yeah that wait what happened with it dude it was crazy so there is a subreddit called like like it's like scams something it's basically a bunch of nerds who are like dedicated to [ __ ] with these guys okay so I tried calling back a number that was getting me because they like some IRS scam okay and then so they changed the numbers like after a couple hours like they'll call and call and then they they switch it up so you can't call back and then when you call back numbers they automatically go to voicemail it's really creepy like what's the voicemail it's like I mean it's not creepy it's just like it's like hi you've reached Steve Django it's like someone who doesn't understand English wrote it it's like all all the representative are busy now whose call back when earliest convenience and we shall return call thank you very much do the needful quick do the needful yeah that's like a so we're calling them back and then we finally get through to a couple and then so they know exactly what the scam is so if you deviate from that even a little bit they've they've figured out that it's prank calls okay so I called in and I'm like yeah just looking for support with my outlook and they're like sir please do not call we do not tolerate this kind of call please stop calling I'm like you don't tolerate my kind of cool like what do you mean yeah my kind of call and then so then we finally figured out that they're doing the that like the antivirus like it's specifically for malware so like that sir ma'am their marketing malware you know like they the the scam is that someone will click something and an alert comes up it goes call this number you have malware so if you call for anything but that they know it's like a it's a joke okay so you have to call in and say yeah I got this message and I just like what was crazy I feel like was I just winged it I just knew it was for like Windows support yeah and I just completely just without even a Windows machine in front of me like I got a decent amount of the way making up what I was seeing cuz I could just visualize what was going on on the computer how did you figure out that it was for malware that that's what you needed it so some guy posted a number he's like oh this is like Windows tech support like that's all he said okay and so or like you know so then I just I called in a few times trying different things and I eventually got some like oh man I click the I click something my email I got a I got a window it said I got malware and I just see the number and I and you know I don't want to go on I would I mean I wasn't even looking at no porn I wasn't even so the guy gets all skeptical he's like I swear to god he's like he's like oh Lord what are you doing or before he get this was in his message I'm like I was I was opening an email about my buddy send me something for a bass fishing and so I click the link next thing I know it's that guy now I gotta call the number listen didn't my only computer I don't want no malware I need you to help me fix this like now and like I got like I got to a point record like he started figuring out as a prank so he like got mad at me like are you [ __ ] with me and I turned it on him I said hey I'm the one with the malware it's my computer and you're supposed to help me yeah cuz like the hell it's like because I kept [ __ ] [ __ ] up yeah I'm perfect what's this number for then my friends send me the thing I'm just trying to go bass fishing here efficient fishing this I think I'm all I'm trying to do is look up good bass pictures of bass fishing I'm trying a big Beauty big beautiful bass fish gonna go bass piston and you're just over here fisting yes and you get me you're gonna meet a lit yeah yeah yeah you give me the lip so I I get him to stick on for like 20 minutes no way and then at the end he's like cuz I I I don't want to ruin the punch line but at the end like he gets pissed and he hangs up on me damn yeah it was so good but it wasn't worries now yeah yeah yeah so you know great now thanks for that dude thanks for the build-up with no punch line thanks that's two now yeah save that for the show will do a live Frank call yeah the show I'll do that oh dude I loved prank calling back in the day really yeah this is my [ __ ] I don't think I've ever actually really tried it like call someone right now call anything right you know I don't want to call anything just call oh good I feel bad no man it's fine alright fine just call something I might one of my favorites was um I don't know I called it Taco Bell once claiming I got I was [ __ ] blood okay and the guy goes well if you want to come back I'll give you half off on your next meal I'm like I'm [ __ ] blood bro alright let's do that yeah yeah yeah do that do that same one that's really funny okay well we'll call the Taco Bell what should I be here we go oh hello no nothing they just hung up let's call it again let's call it again you're not getting off this easy this is me like I said on the live shows the best people to prank because they don't get paid enough to give a [ __ ] so they always have the best reactions how do I was thinking like that's like the worst that's Oh Michelle hello are you the manager okay I came in just about an hour ago I got a I think it was one of these Doritos Locos is that what it is okay she's doing this while taking an order yet great yeah frankly I don't know I just know that I'm so i've called 9-1-1 I'm on the toilet and I'm passing blood and I just want you to know that just double check the temperature of the food my name is Michael David so I just eject here I think it's good right here bro she just said she just said okay okay zero concern yeah for your health all right all right she's like she's like you're six call today pass blood from a Doritos Locos those things give you blood the things make you [ __ ] blood the majority of the time yeah I've gotten more calls than nut but not about that you think this ain't the first time we've had just violent diarrhea happened to a customer this is the business we created we at Taco Bell set out to do this yeah it talked about we try to create the thing that's gonna make you [ __ ] yeah we want you to defecate yourself annihilate your insides think you're special what cuz you you pooping a little blood on Oh put a little blood how did you know my name like you're a [ __ ] you're the YouTube guys suck it up how did you star 67 yeah it just calls back alright sir so you were [ __ ] blood can I just get your name yeah I've said the police over to your place blood no I was just just kidding brah what why is Taco Bell so horrible to your immune system it should be simple it's just cheese beans and bread but it's funny how consistent it is every time I eat it I get diarrhea that scared the [ __ ] out of me dude Cody just got a text that said on our way some of it from a number I don't have my phone [Laughter] we're [ __ ] abort yeah remembering specific time I did it and I took it pretty far oh but I was doing the screaming and like everywhere is my [ __ ] my my inspiration was that dude's spoon you ran that guy no sp00n is this white guy and he'd always call people you know basically pretend to be black but he would just his he was so good at just saying a bunch of [ __ ] like in a row you know like he has like these crazy things that he would say like one example is he call he'd be like yeah hello is this to MGM he always do this thing where he would ask you if you were who you were okay so it like kind of changed the dynamic of the conversation so you wouldn't be like you know they bail you out thanks going to MGM I'm like yeah hi I'm in blue Loula yes MGM uh yes is uh yeah basically what I have to do is I'm up to come up there ie twenty achieves to a Toyota Corollas dry that [ __ ] apartments take a to PI for up your ass and then before you go to say something he have something else and like he would just just pour it on you with the [ __ ] talk and he would just like people would just be stunned with the crazy [ __ ] that he would say like he hit this chick with he was like if this game was called sexually transmitted diseases you already won you got every STD west of the [ __ ] now river [ __ ] Skirvin it's cursed yet skur neck skur neck you gots kerning yes kerning you didn't never probably called like no no I just I so for me for me I hate watching pranks on YouTube which is funny because I have milk coming over there I'm gonna have them on my podcast and they're basically kings of this [ __ ] yeah um I find it really really I just like I can't watch people get people [ __ ] with people in public okay like that's why I hate supreme Patty's videos because first of all you said this is the [ __ ] about people that make minimum wage like don't make enough to care yeah that's why I think his videos are so [ __ ] his he'll go into a gas station and make a mess yeah it's like this person doesn't get [ __ ] paid enough yeah clean up after you yeah you know saying don't be a [ __ ] dick yeah he's like [ __ ] around in a grocery store it's like Mandy's yeah I think these people want to be at the grocery store no man if you're gonna make their lives so much harder than they already are your dick those videos were those vines people would do with I forgot they called it with a pretend a slip and like throw two gallons of milk in the air and then like they just splat yeah or the [ __ ] that was called I loved watching those videos where those kids would do it and they would just like annihilate the back of their head they'd [ __ ] up the prank and actually [ __ ] their [ __ ] up you're like yeah that's what you get you idiot [ __ ] concussion like I've just like never been able to watch that [ __ ] and like doing it is even like I just don't want to [ __ ] people yeah and I'm some prank called me I've never ever taken a prank call like I've never like played along I've gotten a couple like you know where people were people are like obviously like yeah you know it's from like youtubers trying to it's like pranking call prank calling all their youtubers yeah and it's like I just hang up it's like I don't give a [ __ ] I'm not gonna nod I'm gonna play we're doing it I'd do a whole thing really yeah yeah you don't do what to who you gonna do what to come over here eat my ass let's go prank call me dog see see if you can hang I remember an ex of mine prank called me trying to say like she was interested in the mattress mm-hmm and I remember I just that's a time where I didn't like get funny about it I just hated that she thought she could get one up on me I was at like a Christian Bale moment call me trying to be funny yet she was like yeah because I posted I was selling a mattress like um whose have you ever had sex on it oh I had you had sex with her on it I mean I should have just hit her with that but I was just so like a noise I had sex with you on this thing yeah yeah Oh kids getting all like I made you cry on this argument we had and you was crying you remember that yeah oh man it was a prank yeah yo you gonna cry now go cry now don't you come by this marriage I regret ever calling you goodbye Noelle forever why don't you put this mattress down in your living room and cry on it again Oh crybaby ass sensitive ass dude speaking of 69 yeah got it not what but he's that yeah and his album comes out tomorrow does it yeah there's some new music coming out tomorrow there's six nine and Ronnie J has an album coming out tomorrow Ronnie on the beam oh my god Ronnie oh my god Ronnie I'm kind of pumped for six 9s honestly I want your kind of pumped for a 69 like to 69 your puts somebody yeah and you can jizz anybody yeah everybody Cody's looking for a 69 partner I'm a 69 to that album the worst album to 6-9 to just get like the the throat ram suffocate she got this defeat oh dude you got a stiffy oh dude sixty-nining is it's it's always like fun for a minute or two hmm and then afterward it's like you're just suffocating each other you know I'm saying totally not a percent it's fun because of its like sort of taboo and it's like a new thing you know I mean we do it you don't do it all the time well it's crazy yeah this is fun yeah I'm pleasuring and being pleasure wow this is this is crazy then you give like the mm a tap on the ass all right let's let's get it out of here and she pushes back down on your face and like finally releases her legs a man a dental dam was really [ __ ] it up oh man what else could you put a dental dam on I don't know could use dental dams for kissing yeah yeah just pull that out on a first kiss yeah I like you I like you too sorry I don't want to get mouth herpes sorry just put that on your face yeah oh my god so cute you look like a doctor oh wait dude this is this is my 69 okay yeah let's talk about 6a 1969 um no six nine getting his ass beat during a 69 yeah yeah he was on top and he was getting spanked real hard bro he him and his clique almost got washed by two guys they didn't almost get washed broke did you see the alternate angle with the girls pulling up to the fight no they were handling those [ __ ] really yeah well uh the dude in the red jersey was like he had his back to the ropes the whole time and they just did like fall in like dominos he just clink-clink like he was getting them really eventually like swarmed him and got him to stop let the other guy in like the white hoodie get loose and dude he he got a clean he ran up and grabbed 6:9 from behind if he just had two seconds of like just composure he could have stopped right there and just could just unloaded just behind on the jaw six I would have had no clue could have been like your whiz it who is it oh dude I got it I gotta give it to him man he's he's a mass he's a foot and he doesn't even know it he's a [ __ ] master of like publicity oh yeah like everywhere this dude goes something happens it's like what the [ __ ] is gonna like you can't help but be intrigued by what the [ __ ] he's doing and where is he some people think this is a publicity stunt cuz they're like oh it doesn't look like anyone's trying to hurt anybody I think oh you think they plan that no I think they just can't find if they I mean if they did plan it it's a stupid place to do that it's a stupid place to do it but [ __ ] genius move like I'm saying yeah if some [ __ ] happens wherever you go yeah people are gonna be curious if your shows are going down that's true well if they're not what's gonna happen you know saying people are gonna show up to your [ __ ] people are gonna bite listen to your music people are gonna go on your Instagram he has made himself a [ __ ] yeah absolutely star in like six months it's just sane yeah just by doing crazy [ __ ] yeah being an idiot yeah and but it's not an it you know saying it's not like it's not like supreme paddy style where he's like he's like yeah [ __ ] with people he's doing weird [ __ ] and making music that people like to listen to and raising you know shaking off a sex with a minor charge that's genius yeah just the way you know he um he did something really socially unacceptable it's [ __ ] dope well I mean like what kind what it takes now to make it in the rap game you know face tattoos isn't enough alright god you gotta be a pedophile alright hear me out Michael just I'm tired of these artists just hear me out where'd you I found one SoundCloud okay little pedo alright it's like well I'm not even gonna yo not even it yeah we'll just change from this joke do do they all got washed yeah they can't they can't fight such a stupid place there's like cops everywhere everywhere to their Porter yeah also like like talk about making people feel so uncomfortable yep this clown dude is inciting a riot at the airport you're like what this is this is this is it for me this is it this is the terrorist attack or something oh yeah consider that the airport is the worst [ __ ] to do like it's a me things like every time someone's in a costume at the airport I'm like what the [ __ ] are you doing making everybody feel uncomfortable and this is not the place to do that [ __ ] go go Walmart in a costume is that in the top 10 list of like do nots at the airport number 3 do not do anything zany yeah yeah yeah that's where it is no quirk no Zayn to do a quick safety meeting at the beginning of the day alright you see anything zany out there yep tag as you crack down on it bag it tag it and put him to sleep yeah I'm show up to the airport in a ghillie suit yeah sir sir they're like they're like a laptop so please shoes off ghillie suit off sir thank you very much I can't I'm on a special mission yeah I can wait where did he go dude the ghillie suit just walks past all of TSA check out that shrub yeah TSA is like Oh Rob's moving itself look in that Bush for an iPad oh there isn't an iPad in here I don't care about it moving tree yeah just shuffling hey hey stop stop stop stop stop take your shoes off you got any pads in here go ahead TSA wants his [ __ ] iPad that they can say hey hey hey hey hey liquids or gels sir liquids or gels oh it's a tree yeah oh yeah go on through yeah yeah please sir any SAP oh I found I found a little tugger here took this for the SAP that little some dangling SAP for you some dangle in here you're the SAP head of this thing is that dangler in a jiffy I want to talk about this real quick and then we should probably wrap it up I know it needs a bummer man we lost the time but I'm like I'm hurt because this was this was everything to be an awesome episode and now I feel like everyone's gonna be disappointed like this is lackluster no no dude this has been great first of all it's just it's just what we had was really [ __ ] funny yeah it was probably some of our bish yeah I I don't want to I don't want to amp it up yeah but it was probably some of the best [ __ ] so here's something interesting so here's on news ok let's go back to team G news and then that for a little while yeah Kylie Jenner cry I'm bill Bilson what was that Dick Dastardly dick and no that was you and I'm Jim Jim Jim Jim Jim Jim Jim Jim Jim Al's and Dick Dastardly here with the TMG News Tonight Kylie Jenner crushes snap one tweet costs company one point four billion dollars in market cap now that's [ __ ] true she tweeted she tweeted hmm so does anyone else like not open snapchat anymore or is it just me ugh this is so sad that's what she tweeted okay got 270 likes and it 270 Wow that's a record torrid 270,000 likes and snapchat shares went down seven percent after she tweeted that [ __ ] that is crazy one point four billion dollars citizens and market cap how [ __ ] absurd is that I could not believe it dude look at this graph this is their earnings squeeze so this is like when they reported their earnings and the users were actually up yeah so this is think about that this is like a year's worth of an entire company working towards fixing their problem with like retention people like abandoning the app for Instagram people that are geniuses grinding just so much mine share grinding to make this [ __ ] happen to make this happen they finally report their earnings oh wow we're up in users Wow boom there are there they go up like 14 percent or some [ __ ] I think 14 percent and then a couple billion dollars and then Kylie Jenner tweets about them she reversed like a quarter of it and they take imagine that [ __ ] if I was [ __ ] the CEO Evan whatever I would he probably has her number yeah carp dude what the [ __ ] the [ __ ] are you doing you just decimated my net worth can you just delete that [ __ ] please just undo just undo that [ __ ] how about we work at a deal you love snapchat again huh how about that huh how about that yeah invest you palms a little bit invest in you to vet to invest in us just can't even imagine every one of that companies are like god [ __ ] damn it Kylie Jenner one person is can take one person has enough social power to take down a public company that's how famous I want to be where I can just be like just go up to a mic and then be like let me tell you about Delta and they lose $5 yeah every plane in the air crashes the food on Delta Airlines sucks just 600 Diane on hold simultaneous simultaneous plane crash that [ __ ] is I think that is 10% of the reason or no no no that's 30% why I want to have fame of any degree I want to be able to complain about Airlines cuz they suck ass yeah no I agree I just sorry I'm reading this this was submitted by Tyler Durden okay so I don't know if this is fake or not I hope it's not fake cuz I really I really hope it's not fake cuz it was funny uh-huh probably I think it is what is it it's on Zero Hedge calm Oh rude I think it's a legitimate website mate oh maybe he's fake sorry if it's fake sorry he did one of those again hey you know what I was listening to Tory Lanez the other day I love Tory Lanez by the way big fan his new album comes out March Oh what's his new song a bi D or I forget there's no it's like on bi something anyway I'm listening to it and it's dope and whatever and he's doing he's singing and [ __ ] but he's it's real it's real okay it's right yeah sorry so he's singing about you know pulling a gun out and doing like thug [ __ ] and I was just yeah PID and I was laughing because I'm like it's a it's like a weird juxtaposition when dudes are singing about like doing gang [ __ ] mm-hmm this is like harmonized abuse yeah yeah like oh I'm a pull-up unload 30 kill all your parents and you're just like hey that's beautiful awesome yeah yeah oh I'm unload the clip yeah yo kid is dead oh [ __ ] yeah man your mom's like what this woman seen a beautiful voice first of all Tory Lanez mom are you get your [ __ ] this is the weekend okay there's a video of him in 6:9 playing basketball you see they're both like 5 foot 2 or something it's pretty [ __ ] funny oh boy lanes is a real really small dude dude I mean he's definitely like he's a G but he's like he's just really small like he's really skinny - yo I just have to so this is why you need to watch more hip-hop radio first of all I want really quick you know sway is like deep deep part of hip-hop okay Bay Area like I guess in the last episode of Mike yeah he can rap his ass off and I'm like he can do a little more than that okay he's a little bit more significant but doesn't he ran over there on the sway in tech show they're interviewing Tory Lanez and then they start roasting a little bit like a you small dude and he's sitting down and then they're like stand up because they're I think they're Chara proof that he was as tall standing as he was sitting was in the same place no way the whole studio [ __ ] yeah laughing it's so good hey that's was he like was he like self-conscious about it he was he was laughing but he kind of dipped his head like man [ __ ] y'all like like confident dude though oh yeah yeah super it's just funny in his in his newest video for what the [ __ ] is it it might be the same track you're talking about it's like all about sex and whatever he's got there's like beautiful girl and she's like a little bit taller than them and it's just like it's just like a little bit weird you know I mean it's like guaranteed she's like way thicker than I'm - yeah it looks like if they fought he would absolutely lose 100% and he's like he's like you know like serenading her and like seducing her it's like I don't know don't know that must be the funniest like that wasn't been the funniest [ __ ] like his first show like he walked out on the stage and like women who had just heard him sing were like Oh Tory Lanez like is that his son ha ha who is bad yeah you know what up y'all Tory Lanez Oh son please say you Julia producer in the back can we fly in an Apple box please we need to get him on an Apple box we need to get him another four inches they're walking out platform shoes please gigantic platforms one time Kelsey because every time Kelsey wears heels she's taller than me like significantly and she wears like platform shoes sometimes it was like stylistic ones that are yeah like you know she that like Spice Girls used to wear yeah shits are cool now yeah so she like I was joking like when we started dating cuz every time we'd go out for a fancy thing she ends up being taller than me yeah and I sent her these Gucci mail platform shoes that look I'm just gonna pull up in these things you guys I'm gonna spend the night with me yes I'm wearing these just suggest so I can't taller than you yeah we're action figures dog yeah we are we are we're not small but we're not big either you know perfect just just right at the top of the bell curve yeah smartest right now we're like right on the cusp were the best form of average physically what I mean yeah that's your right side of the bell curve look we think we got to wrap it up sorry sorry about the missing stuff there was about 10 more minutes of [ __ ] gold actually you know what on the patreon we'll put it as like a bonus club at the very end yeah maybe yeah I feel like we ended up repeating some of the stuff so it repeated some of it but it's cool I mean yeah we'll throw it up on patreon as a clip it'll be it'll help to have the video as reference yeah so and oh wait tickets for the show I'm gonna promote the show in the radio voice okay go for it set out to y'all we just want to say we appreciate you and we love it if you come down to the show we had it a couple show times just for you guys especially you Sam's Kearney we added the earliest Showtime because we know people with Scarne got a sleeper because they be on the medication that put him to sleep to get rid of the scar neck so you could come down and see us in Phoenix at 5:30 mm-hmm San Diego at 5:30 mm-hm even San Francisco at 5:30 mmm we got a lot of seats at that one cuz even with that won't gonna be crazy and that's gonna be like a big-ass origin they'll be we're gonna be sharing skirting all night mm-hmm and then Sunday we wrap it up in Anaheim so you know come up there 5:30 skip out at Disneyland mm-hmm and behind the Bud Light of Cities there but lighter cities and a home you know we're gonna keep it real mm-hmm real light nasty mm-hmm the whole show gonna feel like a bucket of piss mm-hmm a good kind of piss for the skirting you answer that we got a prank call here so yeah come out to the show it's gonna be dope what else we got that's it that's it thanks for watching guys thank you so much see you next week

Channel: Tiny Meat Gang

Views: 221,355

Rating: 4.9303913 out of 5

Keywords:

Id: G_w6cYsACdE

Length: 69min 45sec (4185 seconds)

Published: Fri Mar 02 2018