Episode 204 - Drake vs Kanye

did you get your back blown out to clb this weekend or what yeah dude there's no better music yeah your cheeks clapped yeah to get pegged then than that album yeah that's what happened when the drake album released uh boyfriends worldwide were woken up and girlfriends had the double vinyl lp laid out on a bed of rose petals with a strap-on next to it and then every boyfriend's like it's tonight tonight she's like yes babe happy drop day happy clb day and then this is this is what ensued i got you thank you no no no no it wasn't that one you're right it was uh no it wasn't this one yeah [Music] [Laughter] everyone that has ever complained about moaning on the podcast yeah this is your worst nightmare just got a dose of real moaning and that wasn't even the pegging part that was just putting the little heart in the hairline [Music] [Laughter] why are these even on here you sick [ __ ] happy clb dave built into the stream deck so sure they were built into the stream deck sure i can't prove it to you sure dude like library yeah okay sure yeah it's the clb library [Music] what's up guys this is the tmg podcast this is today's free episode if you want this episode ad free and an extra bonus episode you can find that right now on our patreon.com [Music] you're not a stoner goodbye the army air forces has announced that a flying disc has been found and is now in the possession of the army [Music] [Music] in your mouth [Music] please look at all the signs flashing your seatbelt and get ready for debate did you actually listen to it though yeah um donda i felt healed me and it was amazing i actually gave it yeah a real shot yeah and i loved it go ahead something no some people were like oh this reminds me of like corny christian music i grew up doing i can i can see that but what clb no yeah yeah yeah yeah i'm too sexy you don't have churches hunty sexy is a classic youth pastor track that song was called you're too sexy oh was it yeah from pastors to children oh right right right right yeah [Laughter] you're too sexy for my robe too sexy for this booth uh too sexy for the truth i don't know nice something like that i like that yeah no donda i felt was like a healing experience people said it was mid how i think maybe it's just like too long and too i don't know i think people just wanted an opinion you know like that's not an album that you just put on and listen to his homework and then have an opinion like you have to like hear that at the right time you know i i didn't listen to it i waited to listen to it until like one in the morning on a random friday night or like it wasn't even friday i was like during the week and then i got stuck on uh wait when did it come out last thursday the watch uh donda was it last thursday sunday last sunday i can't even remember last sunday morning yeah so what's music time that's right yeah he knows when to drop man people love listening to music on sunday morning you can listen to hurricane at 7 00 am oh yeah definitely but that's probably the only song you could listen to it wasn't a hurricane actually in any any sort of occasion yeah yeah yeah that's i got stuck on that at like one in the morning in the living room i just kept looping it can we go on to the next song i'm like no we're staying here i'm just standing in the yeah staying in the living room half naked just this was me on sunday morning listening to hurricane like this chelsea said babe can we go to the [ __ ] let's see right here what does it say read it listen this part don't let me drown what's it say i know what does it say currently happening shh yeah it's my favorite part [Music] yeah that's me yeah and then clb came out on thursday yeah typical this is a little [ __ ] time to drop yeah and i know there's like i think people are so angry because i think boyfriends worldwide were angry as hell because the album was just like more drake and they're just tired of it they've been listening to drake for years they've been getting punished by their significant other for years there's probably people that got together during like his second album and now they're still together on this album and they're like drake can you [ __ ] make something else i'm going crazy right so i think that was a lot of the frustration is a lot of men weeping world it's like drake grief like they're just grieving that this is gonna be the playlist in the car and if they work out together but you don't think that because i would say the guys are equally as into it oh i would say guys were more into this album yeah i'm just i just mean all the rap nerds that were on like twitter complaining and [ __ ] right you know actually no they don't have girlfriends [Laughter] those guys are gonna [ __ ] it up for the rest of the year yeah girls are gonna put that on and they're gonna be like you know drake just doesn't take any risks she's gonna be like right so you're not into pegging or you know i agree with you i think i think dudes are into it yeah yeah do you like it clb yeah no not really oh there's like two songs okay i liked on it what songs did you like i don't know i don't i didn't like it enough to look at the [ __ ] title got it no i mean like i put the whole thing on in the car and then a couple of songs i was like all right cool yeah i know that's what i was expecting i didn't realize it was going to be i mean maybe i should have i should have guessed that it was going to be like an entire album of like ballads almost yeah sex music it's just like sex music i should have figured it was with the cover and the title yeah but for some reason i thought it was just going to be an album of bangers and i was wrong and instead i got banged to it yeah yeah that's the album you suck dick too yeah yeah i i listened to part of it the night it dropped and then i wanted to listen to it again the next day in the car and i'm trying my production assistant i i put on like the first song i'm like all right man i just hold out my hand like he's got to hold my hand now and then we're just dying laughing at dudes driving to clb like holding their hands beneath the window monkey style yeah on the center console oh this was a good one yeah this one's dope squeezing squeezing his hand to the feet yeah 260 from ow stop too hard sorry your hands are so clammy why are you sweating why are you sweating man are you gay why are your hands sweating while you hold my hand dude don't be gay [Laughter] yeah i mean there there were some songs on there i'm trying to remember which ones i liked he can write his ass off i i you know i sort of like the kanye beef element i think they're just trying to ham that up yeah i think so too yeah but i do like it yeah i love it yeah little between little t yeah a little t between a list celebs like that it's always fun because it's never direct you know no oh no we we actually we do have some some cringe lyrics a presentation of uh the cringiest lyrics i don't know why people are so mad about the i'm a lesbian girl me too i thought it was kind of dope were you tucking your hair back yeah i mean i was like girl me too [Laughter] girl girl you and then me too i was like yeah you see the look i'm going for all right let's see what lyrics people are mad about um ah that's old drake and the dirt that they threw on my name turned to soil and i grew up out about it okay is that corny that's not that bad nah and also on girl i'm a like a lesbian girl me too it's like all the dudes mad about that line that line isn't even for you yeah right wait why were guys mad about that line that's like if you went on like the the subreddit like the hip hop had subreddit so many comments like did drake really just do this are you [ __ ] kidding me bro this is so corny it's like it's not ruined my thursday yeah that's like being mad about like olivia rodrigo music like that [ __ ] ain't for you man that song we were pretty pissed about the paramore thing i mean that's different that's the that's thievery you know i'm not like i'm not mad at like what she's writing about yeah that's true yeah like she's like what did she even say like where's my [ __ ] teenage dream yeah yeah yeah you know or like if she's you know she wrote a song about like you know liking indie dudes that dress like chimney cleaners right and i'm like oh man this is so [ __ ] corny yeah yeah it's not for me right you know like that uh that line to me was like jack's you know uh uh and with a best friend and like the threesome song yeah yeah i was like that's what that's for yeah you know it's i'm picturing like all these nerds online be like this line is so corny and then it cuts to a drake concert and it's just all women singing that song and he's like i don't give a [ __ ] you're just me the one dude in the crowd like this line is goofy dude cheese ball whatever all right this one yeah talking all the [ __ ] you'd have been through yeah okay yeah that's the one this line bangs say that you're a lesbian girl me too okay next what's next so you belong to the streets but the streets belong to me yeah that one i that one i heard that when i was a little bit like uh really i mean yeah really i mean this dude lives in an embassy yeah that's true like i'm just saying he says all this crazy stuff and to us it's corny but we i feel like that's how regular everyone is compared to him like he can say this [ __ ] and like he feels like it's real right that's how like popping he is right we can't relate to that at all yeah streets don't belong to you dude yeah yeah he's like watch he just goes outside you know i don't know no that's true that is a good point but yeah it is pretty [ __ ] corny next why they always act like we can fix it with a meeting all that linking up man i'ma see i'ma see you when i see you yeah that's a little i just feel like there's no punch line there like yeah they do act like that it's just about how much zoom meetings suck yeah yeah that's what it is if anything people should relate to this exactly yeah [ __ ] nine to five or should be like yes that's gonna be a tick tock in two weeks what it'll be like the song playing with like zoom meetings and then this line will come on and be like why they always act like man i'ma see you when i see you yeah hell yeah and record hell yeah the link the linkedin community is gonna go crazy on this oh yeah guys today's episode is sponsored by seatgeek live events are back which means you can get twenty dollars off tickets at sea geek with promo code tmg seatgeek of course is a ticketing app that makes buying tickets super simple we've got the app on our phones i almost bought tickets but i couldn't make the event but i use sea geek to buy tickets for everything i mean you know this everyone knows this uh whether it's concerts baseball basketball football festivals whatever sea geek puts tickets from all over the web in one place and it makes buying simple indeed i mean i'm personally very excited for uh oh nate burgazy yeah anaheim i'm probably gonna go to that so um seeky grates every ticket from 0 to 10 to make sure you are getting a good deal green dots are good deals and red dots of course are overpriced every ticket on sea geek is backed by their buyer guarantee so you can shop for tickets with confidence yeah you know especially you could confidently buy a ticket to one of my stand-up shows in raleigh north carolina next week also don't worry about getting a good deal because we've got the hook up use the code tmg for 20 off tickets at sea geek that's 20 off your first purchase with the promo code tmg visit seatgeek.com or download the seat geek app today again use code tmg for 20 off your first seat geek order at www.seageek.com all right what else we got standing on your own is when you realize when all the lights go out that's when you see the real okay what what hold on oh it's it is clb i don't understand this one um maybe it's like like when like the spotlight's off you you see who your real friends are type thing ah yeah the next line was realize realize real yeah yeah there you go oh see in that in that way yeah that is pretty cheesy i thought that second line is about like people jerking each other off or something i don't know on paper it's like it's hard to interpret man this is kind of the lights go out and all you hear is yeah this is here this babe do you like your strap on i can't believe you got my name on it this is kind of like reading someone's stand up look it's just not the same at all it's true this is not the same that'd be funny if people posted you know like the stand-up quote pictures yeah them on stage and then it's a quote yeah they should do that with drake then we should make those then people just confuse it for like entrepreneurial accounts exactly like what is did drake start like a business or something all over like alpha men's instagram accounts you know real alpha real men no sigmas yeah yeah yeah and it's just this and dudes are like yo plus plus 100 plus 100 or whatever plus one what do you mean 100 like dudes in the comments like it's agreeing with it like oh yeah yeah dude yeah yeah no one really understands it standing on your own is when you realize dude that's so true man whenever the lights go out i hate when the lights go out and there's no real real guys there's no real guys there's no real guys all right next i don't even see that that's that line is so ambiguous i don't even know what i just said right there yeah see this is this is drake's plan loyalty is loyalty is priceless and it's all i need can't burn a bridge just to light my way okay okay yeah this is kind of hallmarky you could def put that on like a sunset yeah image yeah yeah all right what else we got then that's it and that's the end damn i love that corporate powerpoint yeah that's great and this is why i think clb is the best of 2021. thank you for watching my presentation yeah that i mean i get that it was a template but that looked pretty financed i could have sworn a graph was coming up next [Laughter] starting your finance project with when the lights go out that's when you see the real guys let's take a look at these earnings it's i'm picturing like a graph you know kind of like a bar graph or something like that and it's sexy sexiest times to release music uh and sunday morning yeah very low yeah thursday night extremely high yes extremely packable big most pegable times to release oh man hold on i just thought of a really awful bar what is that what are you saying all right we can start the episode now i got my line ready finished i'm caffeinated you would have sworn i was married with children the way i peggy bundys yep pegging buns peggy bundy you never was peggy bunny oh you're you're that ted bundy's wife yeah no not no [ __ ] you never saw him married with children huh no yeah what is that it's like it's an it's a old show you know peggy bundy man no who is that oh bro here we go we'll give it two weeks cody's gonna come to this he's gonna come to the ship and be like damn married with children's a good ass joke actually whatever all the all you know all my midwesterners will hear that [ __ ] and go oh and throw up because that was awful yeah it was so bad i was uh i was too busy watching the demilio show this week so i couldn't tune in to anything else now did you dye your hair black for the show like uh to celebrate yeah or like you know it was like one of those things where you know like when game of thrones would happen and people would put on like you know like old laundry with a shield and be like game of thrones like was it like that would yeah like dye your hair yeah it was a pretty anticipated premiere for sure yeah i think for a lot of people i actually didn't watch it so i don't know i can't really comment whether or not it's good but here play this clip real fast i mean now pause it positive music i'm guessing we might get copyrighted for that one who knows it's crazy that they have a show on hulu hot take it's gonna work you think so yeah i don't know man the average person doesn't consume tick tock like you know i know everyone listening is extremely online right you're chronically online but most of the world is not so they just kind of know her as like some popular girl from the internet and then they'll go on hulu and she's like oh i guess she has her own show and they'll just start watching and then they're going to fall in love with other aspects like oh their family's so cute and oh it's so crazy to watch her grow up and i think it's going to work yeah i mean i guess people watch family vlogs and get obsessed with them and those are so boring yeah nothing happens now with a little bit of drama ooh yeah i guess i was listening to uh tim dillon talk about it and he was just like there's nothing there's no nothing that you want to see behind the scenes of tick tock yeah nothing happens yeah you know you don't watch it tick tock and you're like wait well how do they why'd they do this what went through their mind right before they did this you know um no that's what i mean he was like he was like i was watching an old episode of the kardashians and he's like in one episode the mom the mom was their manager i had no idea chris jennings no chris jenner that's why they called her momager and now i yeah i'm piecing it all together now but like that's insane and one episode she basically was like kim was like shopping around like talking to different people and her sisters were like snitching on her to the mom mm-hmm that she was trying to find a new manager it was like that's some [ __ ] drama yeah yeah that's real [ __ ] and you know kris jenner i mean she's really good at what she does i mean she got mederna and pfizer popping what oh she manages everything dude anything that you want like that's popular kris jenner that's why yeah really that's why astrazeneca hit the [ __ ] because she was managing astrazeneca first and then big pharma was like whoever made it was like i think we're gonna go with someone else chris jenner's like this is a [ __ ] mistake yeah and then he's like yeah you know we're good they're so big in europe though yeah but so she's playing that card yeah but she doesn't she doesn't manage overseas talent so i'm joking yeah no i got it i got it but that's why you know that's how she got everyone to do free brand deals for madeira and pfizer they didn't even know it everyone's promoting it after they got their shot oh yeah that's all excuses absolute mastermind wow guys we're going to take another quick break to thank another sponsor of today's episode bird dogs now what are bird dogs well they're shorts pants and joggers with built-in silky soft underwear uh and it's you know that's one of the most comfortable things i've ever even put close to my taint and i'm very particular what goes close to my tank yeah this is not a bit listen these are actually garments with built-in underwear why is built-in underwear better you know when you haven't done laundry and you're running out the door and you're like oh if i could only put my pants on and start my life well you don't have to worry about that because when the underwear is built in bam it's a twofer you got them both you know they actually stole lululemon's designer and you know they they allege that they're doing it better than lululemon so uh apparently these are literally the only pants you should be wearing the joggers just came out and they're selling fast so you got to get them while you can listen this is one of the best podcast promos we've ever had that's their words not mine go to birddogs.com enter promo code tmg and they'll throw in a free bird dog's whistle football you remember those nerf vortex hall or footballs that whistle when you throw them it's that the must-have beach toy for the summer that's birddogs.com promo code tmg and boom a free bird dogs football with your pair of bird dogs you will not take these things off i promise you go to birddogs.com use the promo code tmg yeah that's true the demilians don't have that yeah there's no like real drama besides um what was it the clip of dixie crying i saw that on tick tock i didn't see that she's like like crying her eyes out because someone told her to kill herself online or something like that and the dick duck was like the tick tock was like yeah i really i also feel bad for her like i want to cry when i'm watching this yeah i guess yeah let's play call of duty man what play call of duty yeah there's so many ways to like like you know callous your mental appetite right for the way people talk to you right um you know you can tell that to them back yeah can you imagine if dixie demille responded to that person and be like you first kill yourself you first she can't do that but can she she can't she can that is pretty messed up i just sorry i just thought of her dad every time they're filming it what's their dad's name i don't know bruce yeah bruce that's what we call him yeah every time they film him he's just like wildly paranoid of proving that he's not spending their money bruce what are you doing no i wasn't i wasn't college fun it's going to then building their houses we didn't ask i just finished transferring some money to their college fund this is the third episode of a road you've contributed to their college fund i know how to make it well they're going to go to college at some point at some point i'm going to pay for it well they're paying for it is there money pulls up in a brand new lamborghini bruce it's for college it's for college how are they going to get to college okay i'm just making sure it's good i'm not i'm not going to drive it i'm not it's like a 10 year old [ __ ] with his parents [ __ ] trying to trying to get them into brand deals for like way more money they go to they go to master us to eat and at the end of the meal he goes i just want to thank dixie and charlie for dinner thank you guys i really appreciate it so i'll let you all know how much i appreciate what you do for us now you didn't have to pay for this dinner but i'm really glad you did you're like dad we didn't what do you mean i don't even know the pin number to my bank account bruce do we have a second address it's a college house it's a it's a house for them to think about college dad dad i'd like to buy a new pair of shoes yeah of course the cameras are on you can buy whatever you want you don't have to it's not me go ahead if you want my opinion on the shoes then i'm there for you fashion wise you know turns off here's 15 bucks go to pay less no no he you know he he lets him get the he doesn't get the dope ass shoes but he's also in gucci yeah yeah he's in like his regular ass dad clothes and like those [ __ ] like you know those velcro straps yeah super bedazzled shoes he's like what what she she said i look good in them my daughter can't buy me a pair of shoes what dad can't look cool too well come on oh that's it you know that's ageist yeah you know that's ageism it's just like i picture a picture like dixie in line you know she's got like maybe a bag or something like that and the camera like pulls focus on the dad behind him he's got like 16 shirts four blazers three pairs of shoes what what oh i can't do a little shopping too my daughter can't buy me some clothes these are for her graduation ceremony yeah i'm going to graduate from college i'm gonna need options i just want to thank dixie and charlie for taking us shopping today thank you guys you have to do five tick tocks today by the way girls yeah i've signed you up for 14 brand deals two brand deals per tick tock okay and we had a little bonus dog i bet you they could charge mid rolls on tick tocks it could be a minute long dance in like 20 seconds and hi just want to take a break you know whoever it goes back to the next 20 seconds and then hi guys before we get to the end of this dance we just want to give a quick thanks to casper mattresses [Laughter] and then they do 19 seconds and right before they hit the [ __ ] like penultimate like like whoa or some [ __ ] one more one more read for the go what would be the funniest companies um that they could promote blue chew no no you asked oh dude guys i'm charlie and i'm here no oh what dad can have a little fun hi i'm bruce and i'm here it's [ __ ] bruce hey guys hey guys bruce emilio here here to say that my favorite whiskey is howlerhead whiskey [Laughter] hey i just want to take a second interrupt my daughter's really cool dance and say thank you bluechu for sponsoring this tick-tock you know you know you know mrs dimiglio loves it when i take the blue chew ah man dick harder than raw pasta let me tell you store-bought pasta you know only difference is mine doesn't break oh what that can't have a little sex huh yeah i did it's like dixie she's about to do a little dance and then hey guys sorry to interrupt just want to take a moment to say thank you horny goat weed it's like gas station pills and absolute degenerative [ __ ] you all you do is take a mouthful of this stuff and watch this thing rise are you trying to lose a couple pounds [Laughter] what was that [ __ ] weight loss [ __ ] that fit tommy t no it wasn't fit tell me the old one that like uh what was her name that model remember that uh something damn that model kind of like paris hilton ask ashley something regis philbin no sorry no he's dead she she oh slim fast was that it maybe was that the weight loss product i don't know sorry i was just trying to think of the model johnny carson paul walker oh damn don't talk about paul dude oh yo by the way speaking of that i hung out with vinnie like all weekend oh where at my place he was just there yeah he came over he was like friend of a friend she was like i'm bringing my friends over i was like okay cool and he shows up and i'm like what the [ __ ] and then he showed up again the next night weird yeah he's a great guy yo yeah vinny's the best yeah i love that to vinnie vinnie bennett man yeah him and his like she i don't know she was friends with like multiple actors there's like too cool you know oh yeah now vinnie vinnie's cool as [ __ ] he doesn't have to say much he's just a cool guy yeah um yeah i love how vinnie could just vibe in the corner he's just there yeah anyway um what the hell are you talking about bruce demillio another model slim fast were you googling it just now it was like late 90s maybe ashley madison no that's a that's the cheating website yeah ashley oh yeah ashley's nicole aniston what jennifer asked no are you thinking of uh she was always promoting that weight loss product i don't know maybe i'm just tripping i'm gonna find it after i'll keep looking if i find it i'll let you know okay anyways i don't even know why i said that guys we want to take another quick break to thank another sponsor of today's episode coinbase yeah if you've been looking to 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a limited time only so be sure to sign up today that's coinbase.com tmg so yeah what else is up just hanging out with bruce this weekend yeah yeah me and bruce we're actually talking about the show yeah i'm excited for him man it's a huge break for him or i mean his daughters yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah dude's cake and uh for his daughters for his daughter his daughter yeah he's helping them k-cup yeah deaf in a monetary way not in another way yeah we don't we don't actually we've never been able to use the bank accounts we don't have access to them at all because you know they spend it all on shoes and notebooks you know how girls are right and when they go to college they can get the rest they can get it [Laughter] now i want to watch the show yeah become a stan yeah yeah i just want to watch one episode and be like all right what's going on here what is actually happening here and then you know do some research and see if we love it stop being haters yeah we're not being haters i'm joking a little little little sarcasm okay fair because you know because of the two episodes ago yeah man we got so many comments of people being like you guys are just boomers haters this whole episode's just hating not really i don't think it was i don't think we were hating anything i mean i think we were hating the fight yeah and also hating on modern entertainment but that's fine yeah that's the crazy part is like you know someone tweeted this at me and you know i feel for those people that you know it's just it's really unfortunate there's like literally no way to stop a youtube video once you're watching it i agree with that person it's it's just so unfortunate once you hit play you have to listen to it i'm saying everything that happens yeah yeah [Laughter] no but then we made up for it the next episode actually that was the funniest comment as someone said on the next one they said uh they just saw the bonus title and they were like oh is this because you guys kind of [ __ ] us on the free episode this week how did we kind of [ __ ] you how was that yeah it was it was a light [ __ ] but also we just recorded really early so in that respect i i will concede that we were boomer-esque because we were a bit it was a little cranky it was a cranky app but a cranky hand sorry a little cranky up the only thing i think i really am curious about you know because people were like oh jake took a million out and gave it to the fighters i was like i'm really ain't [ __ ] to that guy yeah but yeah i was also thinking about that this weekend i was like he definitely made some deal that got him more on the back end yeah like it i don't think he would ever do that of the goodness of his own heart no it's all a campaign like it's like i just i just kind of shook my head because i'm like yeah you fell for it the whole thing is a campaign you know someone is like someone said that he's causing like boxing organizations to rethink how they pay fighters no they're no no no they're rethinking how much to pay youtube fighters yeah yeah and you know in order for those fighters to get paid like that ever again they're gonna have to be on a jake paul card yeah yeah and if you don't think that headline made more people buy the fight that's the whole point of that yeah is oh the fighter's getting paid more i'm going to buy it now yeah and then he gets more on the backhand yeah because he's not taking as much up front which is what you want yeah which is what like people you know i don't yeah he wants you to think that yeah that's the main thing that you know and it's it's no one's like fault like it's like it it is not common knowledge that you know there's like there's minimum guarantees but then there is back end and i don't think people realize that for all these events you know and so it's all uh you know whatever you got is money you know i just i think out of all the things people took issue with i just think the craziest one to me was to actually believe fighting organizations are going to pay their fighters different after that fight no yeah nah they let those guys get brain damaged for like you know like entry-level salaries and i was like dude in 20 years we'll we'll give you a good check i swear yeah and then suddenly it's like oh but jake paul said we what were we thinking yeah yeah wait he he did what out of the goodness of his own heart he gave a million bucks out wow no that's actually guys maybe we should be rethinking how we pay our fighters they re [ __ ] all the boxing orgs hear about it they're like wait that guy gave a million dollars to the other fighters wow oh wait what's that oh we got more on the back end oh yeah smart oh yeah it's smart okay now we're talking about okay oh for the headlines oh okay yeah that's what that shit's good fellas we should rethink yeah how we you know pay our fighters up front we're gonna be paying our fighters up front more money more yes i got my check and somehow it was less yeah so you didn't read that it would have been this if you took the back end but but now you got more money up front so how's that feel [ __ ] is dark man yeah i mean on a more positive fighting note patty the baddie i think my new favorite fighting personality do you see this guy oh yeah yeah yeah yeah dude so [ __ ] funny yeah play this what did that tell you first round knockout you know a lot of people predicted the ufc turning into wrestling now how'd you like me now [Music] lightweight light work light work how do you like me now you could cut this first round he said he was going to put dana white in a headlock by the way someone sent me dana white's story today of his dog licking his [ __ ] bright red head and it's the funniest [ __ ] ever can you pull that up yeah if we can get to his story i i couldn't link it i probably should have screen recorded it guys this guy's hilarious i was on his page or his instagram page or something like that just watching like other interviews with him and [ __ ] like that he's so naturally funny yeah patty pimly man so absurd yeah everyone thought like you you know or for a while i shouldn't say thought for a while people have compared ufc to like turning into wwe and i think people have thought of it or i'd see people put forward theories like oh man this should have to be scripted or this [ __ ] has to be planned yeah we have to play this [ __ ] what i'm about to say this is so funny [Laughter] whoops [Laughter] that's interesting [ __ ] dog thinks he thinks it's a tomato bro yeah someone was like i bet that dog thought it was steak that [ __ ] is so red dude why is his head so red the roids maybe yeah maybe when you make that much money like everything pisses you off once you get to a certain amount of rich everything makes you angry yeah i guess that's true you're not a nice guy anymore yeah that like that's where bezos is going yeah his head like his head's getting bigger the more work getting done his laugh is getting bigger give it two years he's gonna be as red as dana [Laughter] it's crazy i can't believe he's got that little ass [ __ ] i know that's what i'm saying yeah so great yeah and his big ass [ __ ] body that guy's really built like um like uh i don't even know like a giant water bug or something like i can't even think of anything with forearms that big besides like a like a pokemon or something i don't know why i studied dana's physique so much that dude is huge you know speaking of uh three episodes in a row of the pauls i know it's like you i don't want to talk about them anymore i don't yeah and every single time the crypto scams is just you know you know and and actually the steph curry tweet being like oh i'm new to crypto like what should i get into it's so cool that once you hit a certain level level of celebrity everyone just wants to try to make you more money i know wait pull up the pull up the reese witherspoon one too but click on the steph curry one hey steph we know you have 50 million dollars no see oh yeah okay i see just getting started in the crypto game okay y'all got any advice wait what's the top reply this is gonna be the buy telco buy telcoin 50 hours of homework oh geez garyvee on time gary he's like well you should first off you should cut off your own d [Laughter] steph i want you to picture your family in a cement mixer steph i'd like you to give yourself paper cuts between your toes all right imagine we took all your dogs and we put them in a small cement mixer you're at a dink doink uh what else we got markus yeah i thought okay i thought that this tweet meant like i'm just getting started on my own crypto game yeah because he bought an nft so i thought he's like he's like now in the board ape yacht club so i thought he was kind of like tuned in on what's been going on so i thought he was pulling a logan because logan's new thing is cryptozoo which is an nft game but the game hasn't been released yet and it's got adobe stock images yeah so he tweeted he was like hey i've been waiting for this moment for seven months like my crypto game is finally here and it's not yeah first of all and second of all it's like apparently that's seven months of development and all they did is take stock animals stock images of animals sorry and photoshop them to be part another animal what's even better is it's adobe stock so you get all that stuff with a monthly fee so you can just find that [ __ ] in photoshop yeah it's not even like he like went and paid for individual uses on that he's got like his editor has like a 50 a month creative cloud add-on subscription and in photoshop he just takes these images that are readily of it like it is hysterical that anyone thinks this dude is a nice guy like and he made one point but nine million dollars i think on this yeah 1.9 million in one day like on on monday or something like that selling you stock images you're a clown like you're a clown if you if you think just like it's it's baffling how does nobody see that this is just robbery yeah that dinked on like oh his other nft project with all the you know super saiyan cards yeah you know just rinsing his people man you know what it is dude he him logan paul is just fortnight yeah that's all it is just selling skins and bogus [ __ ] and it's all these like 10 year olds who are just like swiping their parents card guys that's crazy he's got 11 year olds learning how to use metamask yeah dad can you make a coinbase account i want to buy this the [ __ ] is coinbase i want to buy this stock image from adobe i want to buy this i want to buy this adobe stock from loganpaul.com yeah it costs four thousand dollars what the [ __ ] is the four thousand dollars uh no it's not dad okay it's one eth okay i don't know what u.s dollars are oh my god dude so funny like one of these kids grows up and in 20 years he becomes a designer yeah and he's searching adobe stock because adobe doesn't update word [ __ ] yeah you know over 20 years and he's gonna type in penguin he's gonna be like wait [Laughter] wait a second i recognize that he's gonna have an existential crisis i really burned my call my dad's college savings for me to buy this [ __ ] picture with a long nose it's kryptos dude it's fun it's not a panda it's an elephanta it's not a penguin it's a sh shangun it's a park yeah it's a park hey guys we want to take another quick break to thank another sponsor of today's episode hellofresh with hello bridge you get fresh pre-measured ingredients and mouth-watering seasonal recipes delivered right to your door skip trips to the grocery store and count hello fresh to make what did i say i said skip didn't i said skip them oh okay yeah i'm just ad literally i'm sorry skip drips to the grocery store skip them yep and count on hellofresh to make home cooking easy fun and affordable low money and that's why it's america's number one meal kit number one also hellofresh cuts out stressful meal planning and grocery store trips with less prep relax less effort and minimal cleanup none so you can enjoy cooking and get dinner on the table in just about 30 minutes half an hour hellofresh's calorie smart options make it easier to enjoy tasty lower calorie meals this summer without scouring the grocery store for ingredients and the web for easy recipes get healthy i love hellofresh you guys know i love that bibimbap you know i love that we made a good like veggie bowl the other night you know it just comes in the mail and we cook it and it's great one and done so if that peaks your curiosity go to hellofresh.com tinymeat14 and use code tinymeat14 for up to 14 free meals plus shipping that's hellofresh.com tinymeat the numbers one and four and code tinymeat14 from to 14 free meals plus free shipping uh hello fresh america's number one meal kit i just think like i know that like him and his boys all sit together and they're like dude there's so much money to be made on crypto right now yeah and we are the ones making it dude we are taking advantage and everyone that hates on it isn't just isn't taking advantage of the money that could be made yeah it's essentially the same thing as being like yo our fans have like money we could just beat the [ __ ] out of them on the street and take it yeah like why are we doing that yeah there's a lot of money to be made by just stealing it yeah there's a ton of money like in banks and stuff oh man and then you have like that weird facet of his fan base that won't buy it but we'll be like it's up to them to buy it i didn't buy any yeah it's like what the [ __ ] yeah that's just like a crypto zoo baby and to be pulled up on open seat real fast and to be fair you know when if they were to sit in a room and be like oh they're not taking advantage they're right they're right we aren't no one else is taking advantage of anyone yeah that's what you guys are doing yeah you're taking advantage of people crypto or just google crypto zoo and see where the marketplace is or where wherever you can mint these things i just think you know it's uh it's just more bizarro world stuff like who who would ever thought that you know the the the two dudes from vine would grow up to do modern penny stocks like okay so they haven't hatched yet yeah no but go back [ __ ] like blow up that picture of the [ __ ] panda cat the [ __ ] elephant with butterfly here is you kidding me oh yeah hell yeah dude this looks like oh my god this looks like an acid trip yeah what is the one in the middle this looks like one of those pictures on twitter where it like has no depth perception yeah it's like a room with like things in it like what is what is this is it is that a chair is that it's [ __ ] cockroach people ask me what it's like to be on shrooms it's like this yeah yo that [ __ ] cat canada cat panda thing honestly i gotta be honest it's cute as hell no it's not it's cute as hell dude hey look it looks like one of those books from urban outfitters that's like that you put like your finger into and it's like the tiny book about the penis or something like you know what i'm talking about no it has like a little like sock puppet in the middle that you put your two fingers through and it's like you have to like read a story yeah niche ref sorry yo what is that what is that you know this looks like sorry go ahead yeah the one on the far right yeah what is that dude the pug duck this looks like a really bad like gas station calendar yeah you know like you're on a road trip and you stop at some random gas station yeah like oklahoma yeah and you walk in and the calendar is from 2018 yeah and it's like funny animals and you're like i'll buy this for someone for christmas maybe and the sad part is one of you bozos is gonna look at this and go well i mean he does have a big audience maybe if i just get in now and i can sell just like really quickly i could make a little money on this you will not but you might you know i make a little bit [ __ ] bug chick yeah duck yeah what is that what the [ __ ] who would ever even think about combining those two animals it's just hilariously lazy oh yeah [ __ ] i want to buy 10. how much are they can we scroll or 0.3 right now oh yeah it says it right there you'd be crazy not to get in right now yeah you'd be crazy not to spend uh what's what's the theory i'm at as of now oh it's down 10 today man there's like a mini crypto crash today i don't know what the [ __ ] is happening but big point two down ten percent cr uh crypto is crashing surprise yeah it's all right it'll it just goes because of cryptozoo that's why yeah yeah yeah yeah like we got to get out of this institutions and everything oh [ __ ] this is a bad sign dude it's it's it's only a thousand dollars right now what for you potentially might get the pug duck can you imagine how rare that thing's gonna be yeah the pug duck yeah oh dude no one's gonna have that yeah can you imagine in 10 years when you can show your friends in vr i have the logan paul pug duck they're gonna go oh [ __ ] i wanted that one i have the puck yeah yeah great i was thinking how do you combine the two you have doug you have doug doug's brother no doug's the mom dude you have do pug it's bruce the pug the bug you have depog you have you have paguck you have the paguck wait you got the gutcock9000 you got the logan paul pag seriously i'm having existential crisis right now we need to leave this party this guy is the paguck and like that's what i tell you babe i want the pagak that's what people are going to be saying in 10 years you know what's [ __ ] up man i was right there dude i could have had the paguck for a thousand dollars now look ahead i had it it's worth a bajillion logan coins [Laughter] i'm it's worth a bajillion dink doing i'm so stupid i'm so dumb so yeah guys tmg coin coming in the way you know we got a new crypto game coming we got a nft game we're gonna do something and it's gonna be worse than all of these projects yeah we should just take like parody images of great art and sell that yeah you know like the moaning lisa and it's her just like oh yeah yeah yeah yeah hit it oh i got two going at the same time now this is the this is the serum that turns it into the clb moaning lisa this is the picasso gush so keep going um picasso um pisgordo is that what you're about to say it could be um picaxo picoxo yeah what else moaning lisa van go to the polls [Laughter] man go to the polls [Laughter] hell yeah dude i can't wait how about the salvador daldi's yeah yeah like that i mean that's why people listen to this podcast yeah um fabson pollock they're jackson pollock paintings but it's all come yeah it's just jackson pollock yep get the fabson pollock the fabsom pollock rendition of the paguck [Laughter] that no that should that should be what we do we just copy and paste is all [ __ ] and we just call it cryptozoo too yeah i like that yo this is the sequel to crypto zoo floor price you upgraded it yeah it's upgraded way better and the floor price is point two nine yeah just get it now you might get the paguck too it's a pug with a duck bill the [ __ ] beak god damn it man you know we're just we just don't see the potential that's all it is we should make [Laughter] we should make this but all the pictures are gifts yeah or they're svgs whatever one like has sound oh yeah little movies and all the animals are going kill me you kill me i'm in so much pain kill me you just oh these are cute you'll hover over why we release a serum and it just kills the animal and you get a second nft of the animal just scarred with acid and dead and decaying you're like whoa kind of dark [Laughter] [ __ ] you know buy nfts of your favorite tick tockers [Laughter] taylor holder and josh richardson just down the middle stitched together [ __ ] brain glued together both of them fighting for a majority of the brain get him out of me why do i hear his thoughts in my head josh on one side i don't want to be a boxer it hurts so the f1 race was this weekend sucked ass honestly yeah it was like uh it's just like a little merry-go-round track wasn't good for passing oh but lewis's teammate he's leaving kimmy is retiring yeah sweet talking point dude he is kimi raikkonen man one of the funniest dudes on the grid uh he's like kimmy is sort of like what i'd imagine is that type of comedy we aspire to achieve whenever they interview them they'll be like jimmy where do you think like the car could be improved and he'll be like it could go faster [Laughter] i like that so yeah kind of like patty the baddie a little bit yeah yeah but a much more uh mellowed out version like did you see the interview with patty where is like the hosts or the interviewers like so like who do you think who do you want to call out do you want to call out to anyone and he's like um just instagram give me my [ __ ] account back no i didn't see that it was very fun of course yeah that dude is going to be major just off of his haircut oh yeah oh yeah yeah and all the all all the comments were like dude what the [ __ ] is wrong with his hair what's this it's like no just the fact that you're commenting on this means it's good that's actually just gonna work it to his advantage yeah it's actually like interesting to bring that up because i feel that mma fans probably over the next five years are going to gradually become alienated from the sport because i feel like more dudes like patty are going to show up like sean o'malley like you know who sean o'malley is because of like his six nine hair and his like crazy presentation like that's what's gonna get people to tune into mma yeah and it's not it's not gonna be being a great fighter yeah like it like izzy sells but this [ __ ] izzy don't hit headlines like this yeah it's like murder someone yeah but this is all the time and you can tell how because they're putting him in a bunch of [ __ ] now yeah i don't even think he's that good no i mean he's solid but i'm saying yeah i know but like i'm saying like it almost seems to me as like a outsider kind of you know i send my watch fighting but like for me it's like oh this guy's the next up-and-comer yeah i think they're pitching them like that because they're like there's a personality definitely play that so who would the man like to challenge then next anyone who wants it um i'm not really calling anyone else the only thing i want to call after company instagram give me a call back [Laughter] yeah man so so who's gonna take kimmy's place so lewis's teammate valtry's leaving after like five years and um so he's going to go to alpha and then there's a young kid who's on the worst team williams currently there used to be a good team he's going to take his place at uh merced valtteri's place of mercedes so everyone's kind of like oh [ __ ] because george the young kid is like a super good driver he takes the shittiest car and he makes it do things that he just he knows how to work a car he makes that thing do things that you wish you could do he makes that car scream in ways that you would never know you could make your car scream yeah he knows what he's doing with that wheel so it's gonna be it's gonna be interesting um but yeah that's pretty much all the exciting [ __ ] from formula one also some dude sent me a picture he's like yo lewis is packing oh no then you're weird yeah they do yeah well f1 fans are special kind of weird yo check out lewis's package dude yeah yo have you seen uh dan white's head recently that's why the [ __ ] name of weird dms it's not like some like catch phrase that i came up with i genuinely get odd ass dms dude you know another odd one i got remember a buddy who the dude who went on that whole campaign about how his girl like [ __ ] drake on a private plane he was dating that singer yep he's doing all the acrobatics and stuff i didn't read it but this person sends me these two reddit threads and they're like that dude apparently made all that up what so maybe they broke up but she didn't like cheat on him with drake and i think he just did it supposedly to blow himself up really weird really weird way to do that yeah to blow up his parkour yeah below his parkour channel what's up i'm the guy who got whose girl cheated on him with drake and i'm climbing a 300 foot tower in russia today yeah apparently he made that all that [ __ ] up damn that's weird what about this milk olympics yeah let's close it on some milk olympics yeah let's see what we got here the best nutrition edition in college athletics milk monday milk monday one thousand people in a church parking lot watching milk chugging competitions [Music] they have referees mcs entrances like wrestlers and puke a lot of puke [Applause] the champions get glory the losers get pushed out on wheelchairs it's my favorite part dan it's awesome the best new tradition in college it's awesome i like how they i like how the the creators of tiktok made sure that the texas beach on monday yeah was was appealing to the midwest monday milk monday milk monday yeah i love me a good milk monday [Laughter] oh yeah we used to do milk mondays yeah we used to do milk monday in the parking lot that's church milk monday to y'all this is a church to me this is milk monday i went to i went to school here and i moved back and uh you know i don't know we got some good days now we got [ __ ] it friday milk monday monday pegging thursday yeah well no now it's just it's just pegging and perpetuitous pegging okay just forever i like that it would how crazy would have been if the cover of clb was just a strap-on i was like what yeah anyway anyway yeah i have to piss so bad i was trying to think of like a you know you know what's crazy about the milk mundy thing is uh that's like you know the wii for a wii oh yeah everyone gave us a lot of follow-up on that too yes those radio hosts knew what was going on what do you mean like people were warning them like yo someone could die from this and they're like oh gives a [ __ ] really yeah it was and it was hold your weight yeah so she died because she was holding her pee yeah and trying too much yeah i mean it's not funny it's definitely not funny that's not funny at all it's tragic actually it's awful oh man it's horrible you know really horrible if your bladder [ __ ] exploded right now not funny that was a mother okay yeah not funny yeah no that's awful no it is actually this is actually really funny do you think her kids hold her blood hold their blood no oh jeez okay [Applause] who did that it wasn't me was that me it would be funny to go for the laugh track one time that's a good one dude um hold on i'm just hitting more i'm trying to end it i'm trying to turn it off well rest in peace to miss we for a wii yeah that's i mean it's sad but well guys it's time to roll into the bonus ep episode let's give them a little flavor of what's coming up in the bonus man well uh after the break weird horror tick tocks red bull plane between tunnel ellipsis cinderella's horrible and that's it so that's all we got this would be a weird one and course is on patreon.com tinymeatgang as always one new bonus episode every week yeah oh wait we forgot pastor gets peed on by congregation wow wow that should be cool ended on that and some trivia all right go we

Channel: TMG Studios

Views: 478,739

Keywords: Drake, CLB, Donda, Kanye, West, Album, Review, Logan, Jake, Paul, Dixie, Charli, D'Amelio, MMA, Paddy, Baddy, Steph, Curry, Crypto, Zoo, F1, Max, Milk, Monday, College, Back, To, School, Back-to-school, Crash

Id: ntWp2HZkrc8

Length: 67min 52sec (4072 seconds)

Published: Thu Sep 09 2021