Episode 209 - Megan Fox is Cringe

what's up guys welcome back to the tmg podcast please make sure to like this video on youtube and subscribe on spotify podcast hey i thought you said i was gonna do the intro [Laughter] [Music] what's up guys this is the tmg podcast this is today's free episode if you want this episode ad free and an extra bonus episode you can find that right now on our patreon patreon.com [Music] [Music] the army air forces has announced that a flying disc has been found and is now in the possession of the army [Music] [Music] in your please mouth at all the signs flashing your seatbelt and get ready for debate and here we are ladies and gentlemen if you're watching this and you haven't seen our live show you've made a big mistake so make sure you go get a ticket momenthouse.com tinymeatgang it's on it should be on right now if you're watching this like as soon as it came out yeah to my early gang to my first gang uh it's on right now it's live right now so you should just go to moment house website and watch us live instead of this yeah you can you can get this later but momentous.com slash tinymeatgang that show you won't be able to get forever yeah and we got a lot of we had a lot of fun stuff planned so you know just don't miss it that's literally all i can say is just don't miss it there's gonna be a [ __ ] tiger okay or there might be i don't know that's true we'll see i don't know i don't know hey i thought you said there's going to be a tiger um also big thanks again everyone supporting trillionaire um it's killing it yeah it is killing it it's killing it we're getting it's not only funny but it's it's extremely educational so i'm learning a lot yeah so fire up your mondays with some finance yes uh from the boys been in a meal none other than our finance team so yeah uh that's the thing i i wish i knew what options were when i was i mean i just found out what they were last year yeah really yeah during quarantine like everyone else when robin hood just let it so anyone could trade options you just have to like press a button the most i want the most bonehead thing possible i know any other trading platform makes you do like a little quiz yeah you know there's like at least some degree of like you're sure you want to do this and even signing up for those platforms was way more than just downloading a [ __ ] app yeah you had to go to like you know td america or whatever the [ __ ] or like fidelity and open up a trading account yeah and then apply for options trading after that and robin hood was just like you're not gonna like do any you're not gonna like be responsible are you and you're like no like okay get your ass in there you're not gonna over leverage your entire life savings are you you won't lose like everything you're worth plus some more on that would you no i won't do that we trust you get your ass inside get in there just trade somebody walk in there you little [ __ ] and you know what else what we'll use some use some dogecoin as well yeah you throw a little bit of that on top you're gonna you're gonna be just fine how much money do you have i have like i've saved five thousand dollars you have twenty thousand dollars actually why don't you trade with that okay oh yeah cause then if you level up on dogecoin you go back to the options and make it all back yeah what do you say yeah give you a little leverage here what do you say you want a little line of credit we'll give you that too no they don't do that and and then some and then it leads to some kid committing suicide because he lost all of his money yeah true story yeah very very sad story anyways what the [ __ ] were we even talking about how did we get on this remember that kid who committed suicide after over leveraging on options trading yeah i was [ __ ] up i was [ __ ] up how did we even get on that trillion our mindset yeah right so it's not as sad as this it's not as sad as that just was uh so make sure you watch that show um they're good we love it educational that's what it was yes it is it is actually it did you do a lot of stuff man we could start with current events but i i do have to just oh i got a bone to pick okay pick the bone and then i got i think we should talk about uh megan fox and mgk after this oh for sure yeah okay but let's let's pick this bone oh first of all you know i had my second race this weekend i'm not gonna talk too much about i'm doing a video on it so i'll save everybody the you know the only thing that i want to bring up that is relevant is you know i had my first crash which was pretty intense i saw it yeah cody saw the clip um and yeah you could like make it out and like the 16-bit pixels like a hard-ass whiplash that moment was so insane dude it happened like that and do you want to play the video or you're going to save it no i'm going to say we could we could we could run it next week but i i think it's a lot better in context okay um like the lead up to it everything man but so you know i whiplash and i'm like i'm feeling kind of beat up from the day but it's cool because you know elena and i we're about to go to joshua tree you know it's been a year since we got engaged we're just gonna have a little time right so i rent this place through this service called homestead okay at homestead on instagram and i would like to formally tell anyone that potentially comes across this website uh save your money they don't care about it i've never done this let's go i've never done this no public company beef i've never done this in my entire life i've never once used yeah yeah yeah yeah i hit the wrong sound but i have never done that i meant to do air horns or something but no that that that gag is how it felt what what they did to me what did they do to you well yeah so first yeah they made they gagged me they gagged me oh they gagged you yeah yeah yeah okay no they didn't do that they're gonna say like no service was really good no service was good yeah service was not good so you know if you're thinking about you know spending some extra coin on a premium rental don't do it through them take that money and go to vegas and i don't know do something else because these people don't give a [ __ ] about you so that's just from me to you so i read this place you know it's uh it's pretty pricey but i'm thinking like i'm doing something nice cause you know it's this moment we're gonna have fun with and celebrate whatever so it describes the place as being like kind of remote i'm like that's cool most places in joshua tree are remote right yeah and the pictures you know kind of show off this really bright sort of sunny vibe you know but in general it looks pretty cozy in there and uh the architecture and stuff is is dark but it seems okay because like the vibe of the home feels pretty cozy so like the the the dark materials are whatever so we're driving and then you know they send you an email like hey the internet's kind of dodgy as you're as you're pulling up so you know you just refer to these instructions and so that already is a little bit like okay yeah that's fine yeah yeah so we start going down this road as in like print out the instructions they they say print or screenshot whatever yeah okay right so we get to where this place is and it's [ __ ] remote like it's not like remote how i've ever experienced before it's [ __ ] out there so it's not in joshua tree it's like in oh no it's in joshua tree but like where it is in joshua tree is like kind of obscure okay am i sitting next there's like more cities there are another one i forget what it's called it wasn't that city i don't know yeah yeah i know it sex sex city sex city yeah that's above joshua no isn't there one that's like a number it has a number in it oh i'm stupid but anyways sorry yes something i thought that was the freeway like 29 palms that's what i'm thinking of yeah yeah the freeway you can live on the freeway out in joshua 101 that's yeah it makes no difference okay so you're out there we're going down the road to the home and it's like a two mile dirt track it's not even like a road it's like a dirt track like that carves through the desert it's like steep if you had a honda civic goodbye yeah i don't think this thing would make it through in the heat it's like a one-way road so if your car broke down on this road or if someone was parked on it facing you like you might as well just walk out pull your pants down and lay on the hood of your car like you because there's nothing there's nothing to your left or right okay it's just desert it's just rocks right well you have the printed directions though oh yeah that'll help you for sure yeah you can hold that the serial killer with your pants down and be like this is where i was trying to go and he'll just take that from me and be like thank you you could light it on fire and do like smoke rings i don't know yeah no i think the serial killer would light it on fire in front of you and then use it to light his cigarette and then throw it out just to the side and smoke his cigarette as he cuts you to pieces so as we're driving up to the home there's like i don't know what this bird is but it's like it's like an owl or something going from like cactus to cactus in front of us just going in pitch black it's the most unsettling thing pitch black you're getting there at night i'm getting their nights okay yeah okay so it's kind of classic desert [ __ ] yeah okay yeah it's classic desert [ __ ] for sure but you know so then we get to the home there's like by the way i put that on the soundboard yeah the hour sure yeah so we get to the home and then there's a carport with a random car in it and the gate to the home is open so we're like well that's [ __ ] weird right so then we go up and then we park the car and then we walk up to the home and then there's another gate to get into the home and that's open okay which you know is probably to let us in but it's just like okay that's two open gates what the [ __ ] right so we get in there and then we open the place and all lights are off and this is probably the creepiest [ __ ] house i've been inside of in my entire life the vibe does not match the pictures at the [ __ ] all it's like super cold um there's a bunch of like statues of like greek men and there's like a painting of a greek man it all just feels like you know shit's looking at you okay hey guys we want to take a quick break to thank the sponsor of today's episode stamps.com if you've got a small business you know there's nothing more valuable than your time so stop wasting it on trips to the post office stamps.com makes it easy to mail and ship right from your computer save time and money with stamps.com send letters and packages for less with discounted rates from usps ups and more ah it's the best since 1998 stamps.com has been an indispensable tool for nearly one million businesses stamps.com brings the services of the us postal service and ups shipping 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promo code tmg stamps.com never go to the post office again and the part they leave out is like the home is designed so like to the bedrooms it's this mega like narrow hallway like two people cannot stand in it it's super slim and there's like a golden dipped heart in the hallway and it's not like a heart that's like cartoonish or artistic it looks just like like they cut it out of someone and put it in gold and then just put it in the hallway okay so we're like walking creeping down this hallway trying to turn the lights on in all the rooms and i'm fully expecting like a man to just be in there like oh did you see my jeep like i left the gates open for you yeah i thought you might need that before you come in the home so let me go like where the like the where we're supposed to sleep and this like it's like a black comforter probably the worst color you could have for a bed and it's just [ __ ] stains all over it no way i'm yeah like no exaggeration yeah yeah that's what they were doing on that bed that's actually what homestead does to you before they nut on the bed and then take your money it was you think it's the ceo of homestead that personally [ __ ] on that yeah for you yeah because they really care about your service yeah this should make this should make noelle feel right at home and he's in the next room yeah that was his jeep yeah uh noel's gonna be freaked out this should really add to it oh yeah welcome to my place by the way i can't believe you rented this [ __ ] yeah basically so then i'm already bugged out and then we step into the bathroom because we're just like looking through the house to see if we like it anymore and there's a picture above the toilet that says something like smile you're on camera no and it's an image of a camera yeah it's like like a bad joke yeah like was it a joke yeah i think it's supposed to be a joke image but like not good and so don't joke about that [ __ ] in the bathroom nah yeah yeah that's such a bad joke so then we get to the end of the hallway and at this point i'm so freaked out because i felt like i was going deeper in a maze and when we went to the bedroom i like turn around and look back down the hallway and i was just fully expecting like jason voorhees to [ __ ] step out and be like congratulations noel you have made it to the center of the maze let's celebrate so we go on to the kitchen were you on mushrooms or something no the the place was so [ __ ] off-putting man it was it was such a stark difference and it's not even the fact that like it wasn't sunny it just did not feel i go went back and looked at the images i'm like oh these images are photoshopped to like oh [ __ ] okay so then i text the people i'm like yo man like um uh who can i speak to about canceling and they're like why do you want to cancel i'm like i to be honest this is like i'm creeped out i don't i just don't feel comfortable in this place oh and the [ __ ] stains on the bed yeah they're like well those are our ceos though you didn't he didn't like those you didn't like them he made those for you what the heck yeah which would be very homestead fashion to be like you need you should appreciate people's hard work right so i'm talking to him and i'm like look i know this is kind of off but like i just i'm not comfortable like staying here and i was kind of expecting him to be like well you know you're kind of checking in late unfortunately to charge you for the first night but for you know i thought they'd meet me like halfway or something all right by the way i do think that everyone um resonates with this situation where you book an airbnb yeah no matter what like level it is you look forward to that trip the pictures look sick you're like this is awesome and you walk into the place and has nothing like oh yeah i think everyone's been through that yeah that [ __ ] sucks because then you're like yeah because it's the [ __ ] start of your vacation too yeah and you're like great now well then it's just like you're starting on a down note you know well you know and we're coming into it like i just got my neck thrashed at 70 miles an hour so i'm like you know you know i'm already feeling like the front of my neck like tense and i'm like looking at the pictures on the way there i'm like man there's like a [ __ ] heated pool this is gonna be so dope i'm gonna slide right into that thing and soak yeah and soak dude i'm gonna soak in there and yeah out of there if you know what i'm saying yeah but then that's you know before the man pops out of the the ceo of homestead pops out of the closet with his dick out and a machete yeah and he's like i heard you got an accident i'm like please don't he's like i heard the front of your neck is tense let's loosen that up how about this and then he cuts off his own dick yeah i'm like what and then it regrows and he's like surprised noel and he pulls his skin off and it's mark zuckerberg and he's like i'm a lizard facebook go live yeah and then no his pupils go vertical and then they click red and then he's like facebook go live [Laughter] no you know what he does he he cuts off his dick it falls on the ground like and then like from the center of him and it regrows i'm like ah and then his dick starts like on that's on the ground starts like writhing and then like a small man starts growing from it yeah into a bigger man and then it's another mark yeah yeah so then they start collectively hacking all their penises off and it creates like 10 marks in the hallway and they all start marching forward meat canyon sketches basically yeah so i'm like yo i don't feel safe this is like this this place is [ __ ] weird and they just told me well you're welcome to leave but um we know it's safe so thanks that's what they ended it with thanks exclamation mark oh dang i was like oh wow like that and so love a good sassy customer service person and then i was like hey man is there anyone i could talk to like i spend a [ __ ] ton of money just feels like a lot of money for you to kind of just to tell me go [ __ ] myself and they were like yeah we'll talk to the owner which is basically like we'll think about it and that's the last they've hit me really yeah he hasn't called you personally been like so you didn't like my [ __ ] stains huh yeah i thought we'd be able to hash it out him you know over the phone or something he's like i'll tell you what i do you can keep the blanket and one night's fee keep the blanket i'll let you keep the blanket in one night's fee i'm gonna keep two nights but you get to keep the blanket so they didn't refund you at all no really they just said go [ __ ] yourself yeah yeah and it was it was it was like yeah tough [ __ ] you're creeped out and you were you were like you told them this is nothing like the pictures yeah and they're like well you saw the pictures i'm like yeah but it's it's nothing like them they're like well yeah too bad yeah they were dope pictures and i'll tell you you did a great job on those yeah yeah right yeah um you're not talking [ __ ] about our ceo's editing because our ceo not only did he come on that bed but he edited those photos he downloaded lightroom just for those pictures and you're going to talk [ __ ] about them yeah what the [ __ ] yeah sounds like your problem so you know um but i was so freaked out by the place like i had this conversation as i was driving away from the property i like booked it straight to the car i'm like get the [ __ ] out of here i just had yeah and then we left so you know homestead save your money man just uh i don't know where you take it but just don't use their [ __ ] yeah you hear that homestead you've been publicly called out for your sassy customer service it's just kind of wild to when someone's like hey i rented your home and it freaks me out yeah to be like well it doesn't freak me out so thanks thanks for the money it doesn't freak us out you're welcome to leave i'm like oh okay cool [ __ ] me right yeah so yeah pretty pretty upsetting um and then uh elena and i hightailed it to santa barbara the next day how close is that to santa barbara joshua tree it's not so that so i drove like two and a half hours to the place and drove two and a half back home we slept we all got the next day and i was like i just want to go to santa barbara i don't know you know to try because i'm trying to like salvage what was supposed to be like a good weekend and so we ended up having a good time but you know you stayed in a hotel right yeah that's that's the move dude [ __ ] it home rental yeah they all kind of suck now yeah they're they're yeah they're clearly not good yeah yeah i mean yeah hotels are just they're never bad it's you can just count on exactly what it's going to be because even if you get a bad hotel you know it's bad yeah you like it yeah the the experiences but even [ __ ] state of i don't know best western or something like that yeah they're not they're not bad you get ice cold ac yeah you do loud i don't have a [ __ ] ice machine in my place i don't have ice in my place that's a nice change guaranteed you can get a [ __ ] dc guaranteed you can start the day with a [ __ ] dc anytime you start the day with a [ __ ] dc you know it's downhill from there feel bad don't know that dude's name cousin kug i think isn't it let me check because he's legitimately my favorite tick tocker now i can't get enough of that dude you get a [ __ ] dc you can't get enough of that dude that's a weird thing depending on how you say that yeah meals by kug meals underscore buy underscore cug shout out to you man hilarious um that's what the homestead ceo said as he was reading my texts just like you know that was his little nightmare that he created i'm gonna come all over this bed make his life hard then as i was texting him like your place is freaking me out he's like i can't get enough of this dude oh yeah as a freaking uh doesn't freak me out homestead modern is that what it is vacation home rental you know what i'm gonna do right now blocked solidarity man they're blocked on instagram now oh and they follow me too no i'm kidding i'm kidding i go to the messages it's like hey we'd like to offer you a free stalemate oh [ __ ] yeah but it's only good for this past weekend hey guys we want to take a quick break to thank the sponsor of today's episode movement in a tiny apartment in southern california two college dropouts teamed up to create a watch company that broke all the rules with fair prices unexpected colors and clean original designs movement pronounced movement grew into one of the fastest growing watch brands shipping to over 160 countries across the globe now movement has expanded into blue light glasses that protect your eyes from your screens minimalist jewelry and more style essentials that don't break the bank all designed out of their california headquarters i've been wearing their new minimal sport dive watch it's so sleek and professional looking you never know it could dive down 100 meters deep into water movement watches have the look and quality of 400 to 500 watches you're paying for a department store but costs a fraction of the price because they were built online and owned their process from start to finish you get a beautiful watch shipped right to your door for free and if you don't love it you can ship it back for free i've got to spend all day in front of my computer and my everscroll blue light filtering glasses are a game changer it really helps with eye strain and poor sleeping patterns and i love the modern style of the frames if you want to elevate your look with style that doesn't break the bank then join mvmt that's movement and get 15 off today with free shipping and free returns by going to mvmt.com tmg again that's mvmt.com tmg um how do you feel about how do you feel about [ __ ] um i mean yeah let's i i really wanted to review the new megan fox and mgk content from the british gq cover that they did because i think that you know in the time between the last moment house show and the last that's cringe like beside i mean besides the video we watched for the last moment house show sure i think it's been a long time since we've actually found content that's actually correct actually cringe okay at this level okay and i think this truly is perfect yeah did you see saying yeah but i don't know anything about it you haven't seen this no i only know the quote about i am weed yeah can we can we read that i am weed do you have that it's might be in the document there's a whole bunch other it's a tweet i think someone tweeted it gq did yeah they put the quote over the the seat saw someone put the quote over the scene from the notebook okay here we go let's put dramatic lighting on [Music] this is megan fox i just remember this tall blonde ghostly creature and i looked up and i was like you smell like weed [Music] he looked down at me and he was like i am weed then i swear to god he disappeared like a ninja in a smoke bomb that's a quote from megan fox right there what that i am weed reminds me of something what like some movie quote is like i am something i am we who do you think you are i am no it's not that but that that works as well we do think you are i am it's like ah damn it bro someone is gonna know what i'm talking about it's like a vin diesel type actor being like i am weed [ __ ] yeah that's um to say i mean to say i am weed and anything else happened but the girl just being like okay and leaving is insane to me yeah this is just peak high school what a strange way to greet someone you smell like weed [ __ ] i am weed i am weed what does that mean dude and why weed yeah you could have picked anything else i don't know man this this also could have been a scene in mid-summer what do you mean just one of the people at the camp all [ __ ] up this girl [ __ ] up on shrooms and dude comes close she's like you smell like weed he's like i am weed we all are weed i just think like you know anything would have been cooler nice shirt i am shirts [Laughter] that's cooler than this i am weed yeah i am weed oh man kind of hard you think it's hard yeah i'm arguing in favor of i am weed also like the his [ __ ] hair in this like i don't think that straight dudes ever wore extensions um the members of kiss maybe i think that was their real hair okay all right are those extensions i can't yes dude he has short hair oh okay doesn't he i mean at the vmas did he not have short hair we can go back to regular lighting candice we don't have to be adding a lot of drama it felt dramatic this isn't cool i am shirts i think i am wheat is also kind of a classic high thing to say i am you smell like weed i am weed then you are a girl [Laughter] the social anxiety is what made him disappear yeah exactly i am weed oh [ __ ] um and then he realizes [ __ ] megan fox it's like holy [ __ ] i loved you in transformers by the way and he's just all right i'm out of here bye [Laughter] i am weed bye they're perfect for each other they're perfect wait there's another one there's another i think she wrote it as her instagram caption yeah this is it can you zoom in on this they just they like you know they remind me of like a couple in high school that got tattoos first you know like oh yeah like their parents got them tattoos first yep they live in huntington beach 100 and then they every every monday they come back and they're like ugh me i don't even know what machine gun kelly's real name is um kelly yeah probably yeah yeah me and kelly went dirt bike riding this weekend with his family it was so much fun have you ever ridden a two-stroke what he was so high it was so crazy you know like it's just that yeah 100 his real name is coulson coulson oh perfect coulson right okay yeah he looks like a colson more like coleslaw got him all right machine gun coleslaw you mean more like coleslaw kelly um okay this is kelly man got coleslaw this is mgk nice dude are you high by the way i am weak all right so this is uh this is her instagram caption right that was her quote before now this is directly from her fingers yeah the tale of two outcasts first of all just right off the bat i mean you couldn't be more mainstream and you couldn't be less outcasted that's what i'm saying how are either of them outcasted they're not at all i mean both of them like no no no no hate to them right no they're just they're not outcasts at all she's like the hottest girl in the world he's like doing the most popular form of music from the last 20 years yeah how are they outcasts yeah i don't know the tale of two outcasts and starcraft star-crossed lovers caught in the throes of a torrid solar flare of a romance featuring feverish obsession romance is an album addictions is it this is a tracklist no it's not i'm joking i'm saying that so she's described there's [ __ ] is that album dude it's lots of blood yeah featuring feverish obsession guns addiction shamans lots of blood general mayhem therapy tantric knight terrors binding rituals chakra sound baths psychedelic hallucinations organic smoothies and the kind of sex that would make lucifer a clutches rosary organic smoothies holy [ __ ] you're pretty healthy in the middle of all that seriously tantric night terrors general mayhem lots of blood organic smoothies erasmutas jamba juice kale salad kale salad nice the kind of sex that would make lucifer clutch his rosary what are they doing down they'll be like killing babies yeah seriously are you sacrificing literal humans yeah like a nine like a fresh baby and just stab it clean in the face even the devil's like hey hey yeah what the [ __ ] yeah dude this is [ __ ] dude i'm i'm about to clutch my rosary real quick this is messed up the devil goes to church they're like satan he's like listen i just watched those two outcasts go at it let me tell you they are two star-crossed lovers caught in a torrid solar flare matter of fact bring my boy down here and jesus comes down he's like satan what the [ __ ] are you doing this is what are you doing in my house he's like ah just talk to me man have you ever had a tantric night terror before oh you saw mgk yep ah so much blood okay come on so much blood hold the rosary let's do this together [Laughter] oh my god dude hey guys we want to take a quick break to thank the sponsor of today's episode hellofresh hello with hellofresh you get fresh pre-measured ingredients and seasonal recipes delivered right to your doorstep skip trips to the grocery store and count on hellofresh to make home cooking easy fun and affordable shoes and that's why it's america's number one meal kit fall can be kind of hectic honestly yeah crazy shit's been hectic recently but hello fresh's recipes save you time you'd otherwise spend on meal prepping grocery shopping and chopping so you can focus on getting back into a new routine and spending quality time with the family hellofresh 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these meals that cody loves you can go to hellofresh.com tinymeat14 and use code tinymeat14 for up to 14 free meals including free shipping that's hellofresh.com tinymeat14 and use code tinymeat14 for up to 14 free meals including free shipping adrenochrome yeah eating baby foreskin to be younger stem cells adrenochrome [Laughter] harvesting blood from young teenagers killing poor people just like what's up [Laughter] what do they mean general mayhem like do you just go to their house and they're just like have chainsaws on ropes and they're just swinging around just being one of them was just anal prolapse yeah whoa whoa [Laughter] yeah we're into all kinds of rosebuds [Laughter] lots of blood bro they [ __ ] talk like they're like world of warcraft characters this is insane also addiction do you guys need to talk to somebody yeah like addiction is definitely not like sexy that's a dark ass place man i mean i'm assuming it means like addicted to each other but oh that also would be kind of funny right yeah guns shamans general mayhem crippling meth addiction therapy a seriously unhealthy reliance on opioids skiing accidents [Laughter] hey what overcooked salmon yeah okay okay [Laughter] consistently burning the oven blown up yogurt in the microwave like what what is this life what are they doing hot pocket sauce all over the microwave super mundane [ __ ] can't find batteries for the tv remote hard to turn the volume down on the tv [Laughter] the toothpaste with a pair of pliers you can just get new toothpaste so you don't have to do it like that i'm still dying to addiction like if you picture these like visuals like guns addiction just someone with a needle in their arms because whoa also shamans like what obviously they're you know they're talking about like some [ __ ] mushroom experience but also when i hear shaman i just picture like some [ __ ] like some trust fund kid off instagram who doesn't shower yeah it doesn't sound cool yeah it's just a college kid in one of those like like ponchos yeah yeah a white guy with dreads yeah grow these um yeah binding binding rituals lots of blood general mayhem binding rituals i have children of my own she does she does oh she has children from another marriage yes dude she's got young children dang dang that i guess that's who gets the organic smoothies seriously yeah what baby [ __ ] dead gophers [Laughter] because we have a big front lawn you know they're always just popping up you know a john deere 700. yeah i don't like they're really adult to be acting like this man yeah 100 percent i'm not i'm all about creating art but this whole like you know 50 shades of gray [ __ ] come on now come on now is she pointing the gun at his dick yeah why that's so i guess that's that kind of sex that would make lucifer clutch's rosary yeah shoot this [ __ ] off shoot my dick off shoot it off do it are you sure you ever heard of uh gun [ __ ] is that a real thing yeah they put the gun in the vagina and like it's loaded too i think so yeah damn yeah that's a rush yeah okay that's that's actually that kind of sex yeah i don't know man i'm pretty sure lucifer has probably had the craziest sex out of anyone i i'm saying man lucifer is present during a lot of [ __ ] yeah orgies there's not much that could make him clutch his rosary lucifer actually exposes himself just to like come out against this article yeah all right first of all yeah i am king of like eternal bottom and secondly calm down calm down i've been alive for a very long time i've seen a lot of different [ __ ] yeah i got i've watched my arch nemesis get stumped all right and i would rate that like a four yeah this right here i'm saying two max yeah she's like a ziggy's lip this is a blip when she sucks his dick with teeth that's crazy okay yeah that takes it up a point for me just teeth what else do we have from this article i think you was this gq uk or i don't know yeah they just did this to make a mockery of americans yep that's this ongoing war in media between us and british people all the americans made all those tick tocks dogging out british people and someone in british gq was like oh you want to talk [ __ ] about us yeah okay you guys have mgk and and uh megan fox almost called her machine gun kill machine gun fox machine gun fox yeah what oh any other good quotes out of here i know we're kind of dragging this one no all right yeah that's it for that i think i just wanted to know good for them though you know they found love in a hopeless place um they fought for them in a whole hopeless place yeah and uh-huh bliss blast nice um [ __ ] hell do you see all the rhubarb [ __ ] reuben stuff no i mean i saw parts of what coffeezilla was talking about and i i i saw part of some ordinary gamers but i don't know if there's been any new developments out of this but i did see that coffee updated this video the comments saying that a lot of media was scrubbed um yeah they deleted yeah well let's let's describe it for those who haven't watched this video yet it's basically they looked into um rubet which is the gambling site that we had talked about crypto gambling we talked about it like i don't know a month or so ago and uh about how much money influencers are making from these sites because you know they're getting paid out like millions of dollars multiple millions of dollars a month these influencers are making each to promote the gambling site to their fans because they basically get a rake off of everyone's bet all their fans who signs up with who sign up with their promo code they get a little bit of each one of their bets so they're making a [ __ ] ton of money right and so which is this i don't know i think it's important distinction again a reminder that they get a percentage of what people bet yeah because you have to remember that adjusts so if someone puts 5k in they get a the same percent you know they get an equivalent percentage of that versus someone putting in 500 yes but the more people are inclined to put in the more they're makings right so these you know and they they would fly them to cabo be because it's like a kind of a it's technically legal i guess to play it there yeah and to stream it there but like all the fans that are signing up are using vpns and they're doing it illegally hey guys want to take a quick break to thank the sponsor of today's episode seeky yeah live events are back which means you can get twenty dollars off tickets at sea geek with promo code tmg sea geek is a ticketing app that makes buying tickets super simple we've got the apps on our phones we certainly do yeah right here crack it open i use it to buy harry styles tickets couple weeks ago nice yeah man elton john's playing and motley crue man they look old as hell that's wild anyways you guys know we use seat geek all the time to buy events all kinds of things mma events racing events sometimes even bull riding because whether it's concerts baseball basketball football festivals or more seat geek puts tickets from all over the web in one place to make it uh to make buying simple c geek rates every ticket from 0 to 10 to make sure you are getting a good deal green dots of course mean good red dots mean i mean that's that ticket's overpriced every ticket on c geek is backed by their buyer guarantee so you can shop for tickets with confidence also don't worry about getting a bad deal because we've got the hookup use the code tmg for 20 off tickets at sea geek that's 20 off your first purchase with the promo code tmg visit seatgeek.com or download the seatgeek app today use the code tmg for 20 off your first seat geek order www.seatgeek.com i am c geek yeah so the whole thing is like really sketchy because it's all based in [ __ ] cacao or whatever yeah kakulas or something like that some island where it's uh like they they kind of give out gambling licenses gaming licenses sorry like liberally yeah where is it base i forget i just butchered that but it's a whole whole ass country and i just [ __ ] some [ __ ] island um anyways the whole thing is like really just you know legal gray area sketchy as [ __ ] um and then this is basically linking the guy who founded that also founded whizza which is a site that all the people that were on like promoting this gambling site started promoting and it's a giveaway website so it's like you buy tickets to join a lottery and the more tickets you buy supposedly increases your chance of winning the grand prize which is a ferrari or whatever the [ __ ] and then uh you know they pull a name out of the hat and they give that person a ferrari it's a sweepstakes yeah it's a classic sweepstakes except if you look into the fine print it's not um where is it coracal yeah coracao um except except so coffee looked into like the fine print which is actually it's not the fine print it just says it right on the front page there so like the website ui is set up where it's like you buy five tickets you buy 10 tickets you buy 150 tickets or you buy 200 tickets each for a different price right the more tickets you buy the cheaper it is so like the way it's set up it's inferred that the more tickets you buy it raises your chance of winning right because it puts your name in the bucket multiple times yeah but if you go down and scroll it says buying tickets buying more tickets does not increase your chance of winning which is so wild so it's like what the [ __ ] is this website then yeah and i think it's either a way to launder the money they're making from reubet or it's um it's them trying to get around the rules of being a sweepstakes because the super strict rules of doing that otherwise everyone would just [ __ ] start a lottery yeah and so by not by basically making it like a charity instead by them saying oh yeah buying doesn't do anything you can enter for free if you want yeah it's it's like uh it's not actually sweepstakes it's like people donating instead of buying entry to a sweepstakes yeah i think that's probably what it is i mean i'm not a [ __ ] lawyer but like that's kind of what it seems like yeah so anyways like the whole thing is crazy and sketchy and this might end up being like one of the biggest scams in the last i mean i don't know when's the last influencer scam like this that's crazy i mean csgo was like the big one and then that dude is the dude allen or whatever i guess was connected to that as well what what it was that like skin that was like buying yeah yeah they were like basically they were a similar thing people were um i think paying to win skins and then the lottery was rigged um something to that degree but uh it and faze banks did that too right what like a cs go skin i don't know if he was involved in that he might have been another big one was like that kid t martin or whatever um but yeah i mean this whole operation is crazy you know i don't know how i i don't know how many of these dudes fly to another country and don't feel sketched out by the fact that they had to go to another country to you know i neither i don't know it's like you're you're 20 whatever they are and you see these big ass checks millions of dollars every month right they're probably just blinded by the fact that this is so much money yeah they're like ah [ __ ] it we'll take a chance yeah and they don't realize like the damage they're actually doing in terms of getting kids hooked to a [ __ ] gambling website it's going to ruin their life this is like this could be an addiction they can't shake in the future um but i think i think it's a good i don't know i think a good lesson is just like if it looks too good to be true it it is yeah you know what i'm saying i think this whole thing is going to come crashing down because you should not be able to go from zero to buying mclaren's every single month yeah you know what i'm saying that doesn't happen you're not saying it shouldn't happen i'm just saying like it doesn't yeah not without like a lot of hard work and like and anyone who you know like i don't know i feel like anyone who makes money through or that kind of money at least through like legitimate ways like knows what it takes to get there so they don't yeah they don't throw it away yeah yeah i think the the rate that the money is shown up is it's it's so obvious that someone's getting rinsed you know like that's the only way and and i guess you could argue that they shouldn't have that money because if all the people using the websites didn't have you know vpns and that sort of thing they just wouldn't be able to access it yeah you know that was like like when full tilt and those guys had those issues you know back in the day when they basically got caught having offshore accounts to run the website they they just you know started blocking connection and you had to be in certain states to play you had to be in vegas or wherever to play poker online and it technically should be that way right like you should only be able to do it where it's legal but even then you shouldn't be getting a rake off of it yeah that's pretty it's pretty bold man it's pretty bold and wild really it it is i think the part that's bad about it is you know crypto already has a lot of issues combating the stigma of you know hurting the environment and being so susceptible to scamming that this i feel just adds another notch to it and who knows man i mean with the amount of money that's moving it's big enough that an sec or like a federal body would be like well what the [ __ ] like no yeah and that could shape how crypto laws can shake out yeah you know obviously there's a lot of money in crypto so maybe it wouldn't be like some doomsday scenario but i just don't think that this bodes well for it you know it kind of jeopardizes what the intention of crypto is supposed to be i think what's also really interesting is how coffee and you know some ordinary keep digging up like the wallets i know i was just about to comment on that that's crazy yeah how the wallets have zero activity which wallets well he's just saying yeah yeah you know a lot of these guys they'll reveal their wallet on accident on stream and then when they go look it up and it's like oh money was never deposited so they never funded their own wallet which means that the gambling website is just giving them some of their fake currency to gamble with publicly in front of their fans yeah so it's like oh i'm winning big i just lost 50k it's not real yeah they're acting like they did yeah which is just a whole nother level of [ __ ] up um and another funny thing is like they track the wallets you know to the people like to the you know the main wallet funding all of ruben or whatever yeah and then they're sending faze banks money and then he's buying crypto punks with that money yeah and he's on twitter saying like oh there's life-changing money and crypto punks and it's like yeah you're getting it for free yeah i just like and i don't i don't know i don't remember what the actual link between faze banks so don't quote me on this but i mean he was in the video it just like was got confusing tracking all the wallets and um it's just i don't know it's it's really interesting the whole thing just feels like just icky yeah it's fast money it is fast money which is like traditionally money that's that's that fast you're getting paid you know millions of bucks every month it's like yeah you know shady shady stuff going on it's you know and and you don't know if it'll stop or keep going but it seems that nfts went from this thing that was like oh this is the future to a lot of people figure out how to scam off of it and now that's all it really is you know i i have a hard time believing a lot of nfts are worth their salt because it it it's really off-putting to me when an nft gets announced and somehow 40 celebrities have it already yeah you've never heard of this [ __ ] already and then when you look at the people making it it's like oh they're like this artist who created stuff for these people or you know oh it's like this like sort of guy who's connected with these people all right it always seems like there's just this kind of like vague character in the center of it all although coinbase is um like opening up a nft marketplace you see that yeah uh no but i'm was bound to happen yeah i mean that should just that should be good for the whole thing yeah i mean because coinbase i feel is one of the platforms that you can kind of trust yeah but still i mean the whole my issue with nft is is the same thing like even if coinbase is legitimate it's like the people starting the nfts is i have a big ass question mark on them yeah so yeah this this whole thing it makes you wonder if any of these dudes will get caught up for it yeah it's because it seems like they're a lot of their fans don't really seem to care yeah and it's like what's actually illegal here something might be the whole thing just feels shady but it's like we don't know what's actually it's immoral and unethical for sure but it's like might not be illegal yeah yeah by definition it may not yeah i don't know so um super so i don't know if they'll ever like feel any repercussions but uh the fight you watch it uh i only saw the highlights i did not watch it i heard it was really good it was the best fight i've ever seen i'm pretty sure as far as boxing or just yeah that's what i heard it was like amazing yep um i'll probably go re-watch it at some point you should it was really good yeah i believe it um fury is is no joke bro yeah he's a beast i mean i've seen people say for a long time you know deontay wilders is just a right hand and his boxing fundamentals are kind of uh i haven't watched you know admittedly i i can't remember the second one and i hadn't watched many of wilder's fights leading up to the first one other than a lot of you know there's a lot of highlight material like obviously his right hand is a [ __ ] cannon but uh i guess it wasn't enough i heard that fury took two on the chin and came right back up and everyone was like how the [ __ ] is that possible yep damn damn and walder in the round before got knocked down i saw that one so kind of was like back and forth and we were all just like on the edge of our seats like what the [ __ ] yeah and then and then it just kept going for another like six rounds them just swinging yeah and then finally and then finally it was like that final knockout blow was so incredible yeah i can't imagine yeah i mean all uh we probably don't play yes don't play that definitely leave that out yeah you know like people were kind of giving wilder [ __ ] for like not wanting to shake fury's hand afterward i kind of get it do you get the [ __ ] kicked out of you i don't want to shake that guy's hand either yeah i i think they're like he said he's he was like i've got no respect for you i've read that part that he said yeah he's like there's no respect i'm not showing sportsmanship that part is kind of whack but i understand like immediately after a fight of some dude's like you'll do i'm sorry i knocked you out it's like give me five can we chat tomorrow dude yeah give me sleep five minutes yeah i saw a minute just woke up in another dimension i saw a mean ass tweet someone was like wow wow they really got knocked out in front of all the bad [ __ ] and then it was just like a thread of like really like just like you know like all these women with like crazy instagram followings being like i'm at the fury fight at the fury wilder fight i was like jesus christ dude oh that's adding insult man god damn mean that is really mean that's really funny but yeah fighting everybody wants to you know all that talk about fighting you know just i i always give people a little bit of props willingness to risk your risk your image for it because if you're especially not a fighter and you get [ __ ] hit oh i know it's so bad for you yeah um speaking of bad [ __ ] pull up that picture of jeff bezos that i sent let's see him look at this [ __ ] here this sex icon look at this absolute beast bro i said okay at one of my shows i just like as an off comment i actually might say it on the podcast i was like give it three years he's gonna start doing steroids he's gonna look like the ultimate warrior yeah and he's well on his way yep i mean dude is already jacked he's got the he got his um you know he got the facial [ __ ] done he's gonna get his hair re-grown that would be sick he's gonna look like mgk i was just about to say that he's gotta come out with bleached long like kurt cobain hair yeah and he's going to flip the image and people are going to be like gq is going to be like hottest billionaire of all time jeffrey no that's gonna change yeah okay yeah he's gonna laugh he's gonna go to laughing class yeah and how's he gonna laugh yeah jeff's gonna get his his new hair he's like nah that was the old me yeah the new me is into general mayhem lots of blood so ladies if you're uh you know if you like organic smoothies and sex that even the devil would clutch his rosary at hit up jeffrey he's going to rename bro the billionaire formerly known as jeffrey someone's got to photoshop him with long blonde hair yeah please he's cut dude look at his bicep yeah dude's yoked bulging out of his skin look at his forearms bro it's like as big as our calves how is he getting so muscular he's buying it probably what's your routine dude well first i find a you know an unsuspecting man in a third world country and i kill him yeah and then i harvest his muscle and his blood and then it's the life he makes after he eats his family yeah yeah we got to make the rest of them go away this is him riding away from the murder he just committed in the desert yeah [Laughter] what is that dude taking is there like legal [ __ ] that you can take that makes you look like that after 50 like is that what he's on some hormone routine probably that doctors prescribe him he is dude he's got that money where he can afford like you know that level of science yeah well we've got some [ __ ] in like you know uh scandinavia that they're trying yeah you want to hit that up yeah sure [ __ ] hundred thousand dollars per needle taking that [ __ ] in he was like yeah it feels great my knees oh my god [ __ ] that's gonna be his next post on social media is him doing like a seven foot box jump yeah yeah yeah yeah whoa yeah or it's just gonna be like you know standard like fitness influencer posts like just his glute workout that he did today hi guys this is a really easy glute workout 15 minutes so you can do it between you know work you wake up and you just want to kind of get a sweat in this is great three exercises it's going to be 15 reps per exercise 700 pounds on the bar jesus [ __ ] christ just gets under that thing and we're going to super set with back today and he gets up and does like 500 chin-ups no no stopping or he's doing those [ __ ] crazy ones where you like pull up and then go like this yeah yeah like push up to a hamster yeah he's just a flat out gymnast in between yo 360 chin-ups ah then bro there's this um there's this machine that formula one drivers use that's designed to train fast twitch muscles and they do like it's basically they hook a steering wheel to it and it creates like i don't know like 800 pounds of pressure some like absurd number that's not written anywhere i'm just throwing that out there and like they just like for like 15 seconds they'll just like try to turn it as hard as possible a picture i'm just getting on one of those and just yanking it left and right yeah breaking it off yeah there's no problem oh yeah my friends at ferrari gave me this one is it a game that you're playing too no oh it's just an exercise thing picturing a [ __ ] car on a screen no dude just gets into f1 car and he's just yanking it left and right no problem no problem um damn jeffrey jeffy is yoked yeah yoked dude for him man yeah he's the most jacked billionaire he's definitely gonna be the hottest billionaire man the hottest billionaire by far is he that's why you know elon's a nerd because he spent all his time like trying to buy his way into pop culture you know yeah he should have just did cool [ __ ] yeah this is how you do it right here yeah get ripped right by the horse [Music] equestrian equestrian girls going crazy for this right oh yeah they see the money and the horse [ __ ] they're like i can't yeah resist i love amazon daddy amazon stop let me tell you something about proper horse care oh take my money here i just ordered five things on amazon this morning oh my god i can't buy enough damn that'd be crazy if jeffy got hit got on a level of mcconaughey yeah that's who this reminds me of honestly i look at this picture and i'm like is that matt oh old matt mcconaughey do you think jeff is looking back studying matt and he's like i've conquered all kinds of markets yeah i've yet to conquer tinder i've yet to conquer the female market he just [ __ ] matthew mcconaughey wakes up one day and jeffrey is in his house and matt is strapped down to his bed and he's like whoa what are y'all doing jeffrey's like matthew you have something of mine that i need and then no joe they're just cutting into his vocal cords no wait relax relax and they just swap it out and then now matthew mcconaughey sounds like a dork he wakes up and he's like [Laughter] no what the hell is going on oh no how can i do my green lights book tour like this that's mark zuckerberg yeah true yeah no mark zuckerberg time to smoke these meats sucker bird is [ __ ] sad yeah he has to put like the what's the [ __ ] when you have a stoma the voice box yeah that's what mark is secretly using anytime he goes to the senate yeah facebook does not natively offer finn stuff so you're gonna get rid of it then what finnsta you're gonna ban fenster right sir yeah don't remind me of dracula i'm gonna get pissed guys all right today in the bonus episode we got kim kardashian snl that's it we're gonna talk about that for an hour no twitch leaks october 15th oh succession's coming out [ __ ] glow i'm watching i'm watching them all right now i'm almost done the first season i need to crush in the past three days yeah i'm gonna watch the second season just in time to start the first episode of the third season i'm [ __ ] pumped dude no let's give him a real hype bonus episode ready yeah general mayhem lots of blood stabbing infants baby [ __ ] reptiles having sex mango paradise smoothies ghost hunting ghost penis what still can't find the uh batteries for the remote horse dung dung all right see you guys in the bonus bye in the dung zone bye bye

Channel: TMG Studios

Views: 922,921

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Id: mrN0uK5yrrs

Length: 69min 38sec (4178 seconds)

Published: Thu Oct 14 2021