Ep. 116 | 2 Bears, 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

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RIP top dog

👍︎︎ 14 👤︎︎ u/picklejar_at_steves 📅︎︎ Jan 18 2022 🗫︎ replies

I feel like Zach Melton should be at the top of the list for this sponsorship.

👍︎︎ 11 👤︎︎ u/setuid_w00t 📅︎︎ Jan 18 2022 🗫︎ replies

I listen almost every week but never watch and, holy hell, Tom just looks so disinterested. Haha.

👍︎︎ 7 👤︎︎ u/kinsarc 📅︎︎ Jan 18 2022 🗫︎ replies

I am planning a trip to Austin right now to play some winter golf, coincidentally.

👍︎︎ 7 👤︎︎ u/Useful_Shot_That 📅︎︎ Jan 18 2022 🗫︎ replies

it was cool they were honestly discussing the possibility of sponsoring someone, but then just devolved into hot chick gamers...

👍︎︎ 6 👤︎︎ u/ricky2dope 📅︎︎ Jan 18 2022 🗫︎ replies

its a shame Bert is the opposite of funny

👍︎︎ 28 👤︎︎ u/JoshSaundersFAS 📅︎︎ Jan 18 2022 🗫︎ replies

I know what I’m gonna be blasting out of my Bluetooth speaker on the course today!

👍︎︎ 5 👤︎︎ u/durkaflurkaflame 📅︎︎ Jan 18 2022 🗫︎ replies

I thought it was cool to hear them mention disc golf when I listened to this episode. But, since I started listening about a year ago, overall, it was probably my least favorite episode so far. Bernt was extra annoying and I didn't enjoy it.

👍︎︎ 1 👤︎︎ u/BY0sh 📅︎︎ Jan 19 2022 🗫︎ replies
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the only thing i associated with you for i don't know a couple of years was just cheetos and soda cheetos and soda is that still a thing no really i bring a titos and soda with me on stage but i did vino november so i did a bottle of wine every night in november that's a that's not a thing 100 you look like you've been at sea for a while this [ __ ] austin kills me yeah yeah cause i [ __ ] god man i partied so hard yesterday so wait we kind of we got a little [ __ ] up here i continued that i had a very quick clip i just when i was leaving you're like i'm having another beer and that's the last thing i heard i'm gonna have to have a beer this morning okay i'm [ __ ] i i i i i i get mixed up on what yesterday was like i can't remember i keep thinking i was smoking pot in my tour bus before dinner did your tour bus here my tour bus is here yeah okay so i keep thinking that but then i keep going i think that was before we went to kuya so you did go to kuya yeah yesterday and what did you do you were [ __ ] up while you were there did they know it was yeah they knew uh they yeah i thought they didn't but they did they did and i was i was [ __ ] i was i was i walked in with the [ __ ] tall boy uh screwdriver and yeah and you you i i'm certain this isn't it like a wellness center it's a wellness center yeah and i walked in with a tall boy screwdriver i was like put me in a deprivation tank and they did i went into a deprivation tank for an hour how did that feel was that crazy oh no it's so [ __ ] up time so you didn't really experience it at all i [ __ ] just fell asleep i just fell asleep were you scared of drowning no you're you are on top of the water okay like you you are buoyant as [ __ ] okay like i got in the guy was the guy that owns it runs everything's a little bit of a blur and i don't and i don't know why i don't know when it started the blur started i was like functional i don't think anyone really knew that i was [ __ ] up that was very functional and i got it can you just say they definitely knew you were reflecting at the end of the night at the end of the night i thought i was playing it off cool like i did like a we did like a two-hour session there oh what else did you do i was in a sauna for like i couldn't i couldn't break a sweat in the sauna that's weird very weird well i was polar plunging for four minutes five minutes you were doing polar plunges too yeah i was doing let's start with the the deprivation thing they get me in there they they put you in a they put you in a in a massage chair to relax you they give you some like some rose petal water or something some sage they sage you and everything and then they put it and you're drunk i'm drunk and i'm very high i'm very high like i'm i'm i'm i don't get i don't smoke pot a great deal by we went back to the tour bus and we smoked another joint before we went to kuya and so i walked in i'm very high because i remember rogan being like you want to be high in these deprivation tanks they put me in a massage chair and i fell asleep in the muscle i was chair i was in the massage chair just [ __ ] passed out and he's like into the deprivation tank i'm like uh and then and then i got totally naked got in the deprivation tank and it's crazy because it's it's the lights are on and there's music and then and that's like your warm-up and then you hear like a and the lights go off and it's pitch black and at first i was like i'm gonna freak out yeah and then and then and then and then you find your brain i found my brain going in and out of dream so like i would not lucid dream but i would go into a dream and then come out of a dream and then go into it and come out of it and then and then i and then i had like a little bit of a period where i had so much salt water in my eyes i couldn't sit up because it's too buoyant so you're just like i had a heart i was like [ __ ] i was in there there was oh there is a video i brought a camera in and so it i it i had to get out one time and like rinse my face and then get back in and then i just passed out i woke up i was like [ __ ] is are people still here because i was like it's just pitch black and i was like how long have i been sleeping i woke up and i came out and the guy was like hey man you're good and i was like yeah i think so i was like how long was i in there for he's like an hour and i was like okay he's got a good nap i got a good nap it's you're really buoyant like that's the crazy thing you are on top you're actually on top of the water because there's that much salt it's that much salt you're on top of the water and you're very it i i did not experience whatever everyone else does where they hallucinate i did not get that i just i'll tell you what was crazy is my my my back kept cracking because because you're you've i've never been in like a weightlessness like and so all of a sudden you're just like elongating and then all of a sudden my back just started going like like almost decompressing and i was like stretch it and then it would go more that was crap it was it was kind of crazy but then i i don't i think i rinsed the salt off me like i didn't totally rinse the salt off me so i like i was like salty like and you like they're like stacks of salt on your body and then you get to the sauna and went to the sauna and it's [ __ ] packed hacked yeah it's not it's like [ __ ] everyone's in there like there's it's a lot of a lot of dudes a lot of [ __ ] chicks everyone's attracted it's a unisex it's a unisex sauna whoa yeah and then and i'm like bert don't talk don't talk yeah because i'm [ __ ] wasted and so i go through the first round i don't talk i pull her plunge i talk to the chick polar plunge in wait what are people wearing uh just like bathing suits okay people are going in polar plunging and coming in getting back into sonic going into the polar blinds coming back and getting sauna so i do it good i'm like i'm doing the sauna for like 15 20 minutes and then i'd break a sweat but the polar plunge will get you so cold do you be in the sauna for like 15 minutes just trying to get warm um and then i was like and then i was like perfect i haven't really spoken much and then someone was like do they have these in la and i was like yeah but usually there's a dude sucking another guy's [ __ ] and everyone's like quiet and and i'm like god damn i knew i shouldn't talk and then i leave i don't realize like dave and andrew were in there they're in there i leave and apparently one of the guys goes that's how i met him [Laughter] and then they talked about each other's [ __ ] for the next like fifth time like started something where they were like wait and then everyone's like wait you really suck cox in here and the guy yeah very popular in hollywood he's like he's not ryan he's not wrong he's like it's more steam rooms but yeah it's more steam rooms is where we blow each other and people like you guys really blow each other and then and you know it's it's kuya is how big is this sauna it was as big as this room and how many people are in it maybe eight okay maybe eight i don't know i don't remember my eyes were closed a lot like i was just like this a lot like i mean like usually just people sucking [ __ ] yeah it was it was it's weird because because uh you know the people that go there are like aubry marcus they're very open-minded people right they're very spiritual people they're like they're talking about doing sweat lodges like they're very cool cooler than me everyone there is much cooler than me and so like when the conversation of like [ __ ] comes up everyone's open-minded and they're like they're like you know i guess i didn't when there i just dropped the bomb and walked out and then but they were like dave was like everyone was very like positive and like it wasn't like a negative thing they were like yeah yeah i'm very fluid sexually and stuff and yeah but it was it was really [ __ ] cool i wish we got massages from the lady because she was really great but she wasn't in yesterday but we spent like two hours there had a [ __ ] blast and then did you feel sober-ish coming out of there i thought i was [ __ ] sober like i swear to god it i thought i thought i was sober the whole time like i thought i was sober like i'm functioning i'm high i know i'm high i'm like and when i get out i was like i am stone sober and i started drinking vodka out of a [ __ ] that's what i think got me is we had a cool like a little cooler little roadie of vodka and i was just drinking and yeah i was drinking it like it was water and in the in the uber to go to sushi sushi and that's what you think and that's what got me that and two bottles of wine and sushi we went to uchi yeah and uh supposed to i mean yeah it is really good actually it was [ __ ] awesome but wait are you sure you know i don't really the one thing my one takeaway was the the um they said it was a this this girl rejoiced in telling me it would be a 45 minute wait like it was like so bizarre what do you mean she was like so excited to tell me it's a 45 minute wait i was like and i was like okay and i said but it'd probably be shorter and she goes oh no it's 45. like it was the bizarrest conversation i said how long is the wait she goes oh you're gonna be here for 45 minutes and i went okay and i said can we like get a drink and she goes yeah and i go okay but probably like i always think yeah they say 45 but it's gonna be less yeah that's what they always tell you and i was leading her into that and i was like but it'll it'll probably be less than 45 right she went oh no it'll be 45 minutes and i was like cool then it was 15 minutes it was a 15-minute [ __ ] wait and so we had a glass of wine and then we just told i told the lady razzle dazzle i said just razzle dazzle and she got she got it she figured it out like i didn't have to say much for it for that all the only words she goes what can you guys what do you guys like and i said lit ma'am razzle dazzle and she went i get it so she just brought [ __ ] out just brought [ __ ] out and it was [ __ ] awesome and halfway through dinner i said i'm not working anymore my bra i'm not functioning i need to get the [ __ ] out of here and they were like what i was like we need to leave right now like call an uber right now and they were like really and i was like and i mean peter can tell you i was like i i don't that that's the last thing i remember was a short rib uh sushi the sushi i remember getting one of those and going i'm done we gotta go what do you think what do you think did it what do you think took you to that level no [ __ ] clue i think i got roofied now stop i think it was the woman that told me to be a 45 minute wait no i don't know something happened and i i just turned off and and i didn't i remember waking up in my bunk with my pants on and going five it's four in the morning i had a [ __ ] workout today and i was like [ __ ] i was killing some water finally searching in my bunk for waters i was killing waters and then we got out we all walked from where we're staying to on it but wait didn't before then didn't you think you were in a different city i don't remember that i don't remember any of that i don't i don't remember all i remember is the short rib sushi and i just had that that's the last thing i remember and then this morning we're walking and they're like do you remember thinking you were in san diego last night and i was like no no recollection of this like no like zero recognition it's actually the only time so you seriously blacked out i blacked out i fell asleep in the uber and i woke up and i said are we close to the house and like we're staying in the tour bus i said we're in san diego right now and they're like no peter what was i saying do you know was he just sleeping i don't know peter what was i saying you woke up and you said are we almost at the house in san diego and they were like we're in austin i was like no we're insane i was pretty certain we were in san diego and they were like what and i i remember that and that i swear to god i thought i when they said that i thought did that happen in the deprivation tank like i have no recollection of any of that and then i got up and i murdered a workout i murdered there's something [ __ ] amazing about me [Laughter] that i can be blackout drunk call it at a sushi restaurant think i'm in san diego yeah then go to you because here's the thing yesterday we finished i told you that i had to go work on something and then you said well i'm not going then to work so i didn't think you were going to go work out you said you weren't going to go no no no i i i love working out i love working out no but do you remember that or no no i don't know i remember telling you that you go if you're not going i'm not going i said that absolutely i guess i changed my mind i don't remember when i did yeah but we the all the guys worked out i all everyone on the bus worked out and uh i told everyone you were getting your vasectomy reversed this is like where's tom i was like he's getting suspected to be reversed and they're like for real i go yeah yeah he just wasn't happy with it not a lot was coming out and so yeah and they're like oh because he does come a lot and i was like yeah it's funny hearing people it's because now you live here and they're like man that guy loves the aquarium yeah i've been once he's there every [ __ ] day in his big green car i swear to god people that on it think that they're like every day every day guys at the aquarium who and which one of them is every day at the aquarium you [ __ ] fish bundler yeah i went one time it was a great workout we did uh we did he did this guy john wolf he'd check see what he does it on it i think he's like the head trainer he he was one that worked out with me and joe and uh he does these workouts that like you'd he he likes to destroy the parts of your body that you don't know that you have like like uh that's him yeah he's a [ __ ] badass his [ __ ] arms and legs are so goddamn big i can see his definition in his legs through his pants really like his [ __ ] quads yeah you're like staring at him and he does these things like there's no cheating with him like right all right first of all you do all these like open your chest and push and breathe and then all of a sudden you're like [ __ ] i'm breaking a sweat from the warm up and then and then he did us had us do these bear crawls again yeah which are [ __ ] like brutal i cheated again i was like he didn't know that i hold no now that i cheat but this [ __ ] wait till he's turned and you stand up when he turns i just get up and walk [ __ ] weeded abs and i just i wait till he walks away and i just drop and then it looks like i'm like oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah it was and then my cousin andrew he was like guys if you're dealing with an injury uh you're dealing with an injury get let me know i don't wanna i don't want you to hurt he goes i know bert's got an elbow kind of thing and steve fury's like i blew out my acl my mcl and i have no meniscus left he's like okay all right great so we're doing these bear across my cousin andrew goes i'm dealing with a pretty bad thumb injury you should have never said that what happened to your thumb he's like heard it long time ago on the cross a long time ago yeah he doesn't party much he always talks about like liking drugs i'm like i think he might be a drug addict like he was he was like he goes up he's just very blunt he goes i don't do a lot of exercising i'm gonna go throw up and we're like really and he goes yep and goes to the bathroom throws up and then he's like all right i'm back oh my god he party's pretty hard but he smokes weed smokes blunts i think he likes mushrooms so he partied last night too oh he was the one that was lighting the gym me him and andrew were the ones smoking smoking pot i'm sure andrew's like please don't tell anyone i smoke pot and did he throw up like at the end of the workout in the middle of it in the middle of it and then again at the end and then and then [ __ ] himself at the end he [ __ ] he had to take a [ __ ] he was like it's coming out all the holes he was like very unhappy he was like he did not like enjoy the workout yeah and then we did like a big kettlebell workout at the end with uh halos and presses and it was i [ __ ] love that place yeah it's crazy that like it's crazy because you remember when on it started yeah yeah and it's it's bizarre that how big it's gotten huge because it just started with like i i i'm still blown away by that that technically it all started with flashlights and you love bringing that that's amazing to me because it's it's just like a testament to don't ever say no say take every opportunity because if it if joe hadn't gotten those flashlights right arbory wouldn't have started on it yeah and and now it's it's like a multi-multi-million dollar business crazy and you go there and like i mean i'm it's funny because i i mean nothing i never i've never been there before i've been there now twice in the past week but to know when it's where it started from right to see where it is today is so impressive i i don't know i think i find that [ __ ] fascinating i haven't seen aubrey yet he's a [ __ ] legend in austin yeah everyone talks about him like in korea everyone that sauna knew who he was like well yeah i mean he's um he's he is [ __ ] shredded yeah he's really fit dude he is a very fit dude god damn it like if if i wonder if my wife would be like yeah bring him into the bedroom look at that [ __ ] and he's got perfect hair like his hair is he's perfectly haired you sound like you really want to [ __ ] him would you ever do ayahuasca yeah i want to for real yeah why because i wanna i want the experience really yeah i actually tried to set it up no i swear for for real yeah would bush do it uh i don't think so would you do it who would you do it with i was just gonna go and do it like with uh whoever administers it you know you're doing by yourself yeah you're so [ __ ] weird [Laughter] yeah why is this i have no interest in doing ayahuasca why is that weird it's just that you'd go by yourself and just go oh well it's supposed to be like a you know like a personal you know vision quest journey that's what i was that's what i was hoping for it wasn't like hey let's get my friends together and do ayahuasca yeah no you're [ __ ] weird no i'd want to do it with you like i'd want to do with a big group a big group no i don't want to do with a big group it's going to lower depressions so but do you hear ron white's story about doing it no he said he did it the first time was like [ __ ] scary and he was like i'm not doing that again but you do it like five days in a row or something really yeah you don't just do it once you go in and you do it see how it affects your brain i'm having like i'm not i might really need a beer i think i'm having a panic attack really yeah like okay guys let's get him get what a beer oh oh oh [Applause] [Laughter] that just scared me what do you think i was i don't know i thought you were [ __ ] with me sweet i thought you were going like let's get him and then they were gonna come in does this shirt look too small on me i have a it's dmt is the same thing as ayahuasca no analysis real that dmt significantly altered electrical activity in the brain characterized by marked drop off and the alpha waves the human brain's dominant electrical rhythm when we are awake um i don't know just does it release that i meant to bring a bunch of beers over here we should have dave come over and bring beers over here for uh for any because we have a bunch of beers on the bus that we should give to any because i drink all those beers all the time yeah yeah yeah we'll do that yeah i don't know if i i don't i don't know if i would enjoy ayahuasca but i didn't really mind the deprivation tank so i wonder if i just would [ __ ] feel the same way about ayahuasca um what if it made me quit drinking what do we got oh nice oh foodie ranger is a good one yeah yeah i'm really starting to what's your beer of choice it used to be for a long time all you i always associated with heineken yeah heinekens were a big thing for me and then and then i i stopped drinking heinekens when we did our weight loss really yeah when we did our weight loss challenge i stopped drinking heinekens entirely what's your go-to beer now you know i don't have one really i don't have one then you were also the the only thing i associated with you for i don't know a couple of years was just cheetos and soda two dozen soda is that still a thing no really i bring a tito's and soda with me on stage but i did vino november so i did a bottle of wine every night in november that's uh that's not a thing no it is i made it oh okay yeah i made it yeah i made it i was the only one that did it but i held do it and i had a bunch of really great wines i'm more of a wine guy these days you you look like a wine guy now i feel like a mess right now i feel like i i mean i feel like i'm wearing shorts i don't ever wear shorts can you see that i'm wearing shorts good do you know who else is a wine guy and this is for real johnny depp he loves wine does he do you know about him getting [ __ ] blackout trunk on a plane and he pissed in the aisle by the way that could have been me last night i know he pissed he was he was super drunk uh if i shaved my beard i'd look like that no look up his plane thing man like he he got he got blackout drunk he had he [ __ ] i think he drank like a few bottles on the flight uh he apologized for the humiliating incident which saw him removed from a flight to dublin urinated in front of fellow passengers after being refused to use the laboratories to plane prepared for takeoff this is before takeoff by the way i i've been there i've been there when you're like hey i need to use i gotta piss oh yeah and then they're like i'm sorry sir not now and you're like no i'm gonna piss my pants yeah i'm gonna urinate my pants and they're like then you have to go in your pants yeah and you're like hold on what world are we in right now it's yeah i actually underst i actually i'm siding with your pardon on that one how about uh georgia perdue wine consumption that is aggressive he starts drinking at 10 a.m [Laughter] he starts drinking wine at 10 a.m he says when i'm bored i drink uh that was also like looks like seven almost eight years ago that he said this 14 what's he look like today um not one of these picks wow there you go it doesn't look that bad yeah it was pretty good 14 bottles of wine a day and he smokes yeah like if you look at him you go if he's still alive he's so french you know accused of rape well that kind of changed the whole tone of everything oh [ __ ] is this uh this room smells horrible just i can't get past the smell of this room no i i was a wine guy all november and then i do i drink you know i don't really have a drink these days what i don't have one that i've been enjoying i don't have one that i look forward to but you wanted a beer for instance right now why did you think you opted for a beer as opposed to i know that that's what then he has oh but if you could if you're if i was like you can have any drink you want right now anything is there anything that pops into your head oh it's slurpee really i'm a slurpee i'm i'm i'm like i'm i'm very unhydrated right now uh would you will you uh nap today yeah but on the way to houston yeah i'm gonna [ __ ] pass out on the way to houston yeah i'm worried about that nap what about it i'm worried that i won't take it that i won't like that i'm gonna miss my nap that's why i want to have a couple beers oh yeah and then pass nap anxiety sucks i've had it so much yeah and i'm not a good napper i have to be like in a really perfect mental state or totally exhausted to catch a nap i really hate it i had so i [ __ ] up my naps the other day i'm really good at napping before the show you are i can sleep for an hour right up to show time i'm jealous oh it's the best i go i go we do like a fun day workout and then when i try to get back to the bus around five and i pass out around 5 30 and i'll sleep up until seven o'clock really i have him wait i have peter wake me up as the show starts so that they're getting on stage and you're starting to wake up and i'm starting to wake up and it's backfired because i've gotten on stage still sleepy before yeah but uh if i usually have a coffee i'll take a quick shower have a coffee and then get on stage and like within 14 minutes of waking up every time we do this i keep thinking of the thing you said uh that we tour so differently [Laughter] why i mean that just sounds that what you described would give me such anxiety oh for real to be woken up as the show starts be like take a coffee here's the shower because i might be like oh my god i'll be in a panic oh no i love it i love it because it it's within and then i know i've maximized my day you know like i've got i've haven't i'm not sitting there waiting around okay like i like to know that it's that how do you typically sleep at night on the road uh i within two minutes uh when my head hits a pillow i fall asleep and what time is that usually three in the morning yeah yeah three four in the morning and then what time you're usually up bus calls usually around two and then i wake up around ten okay so you're getting like all right six to eight hours yeah wake up around 10 and then we try to go do something active like we've been playing a lot of frisbee golf disc golf a lot of disc golf yeah a lot and there's a great places in austin to play disc golf yeah yeah and all through texas texas has been [ __ ] amazing to play disc golf really yeah legit courses um where did we play in austin what the [ __ ] peter doing wow um but yeah i've been enjoying i played disc golf you know what's really interesting is i played disc golf in college before it was like a big thing you did yeah we played a lot in college and uh and then my buddy wanted to go pro and we all made fun of him but if he had gone pro he would be at the top i mean he'd be like one of the best disc golf players in the world now she would have been playing for the past twenty make a living doing that uh yeah some guys i think so i think you're good at disc golf is that you're good at it i am pretty good i've well because only because i've played we played a lot when i was younger so i have like a great underhanded throw how much can you make oh so i guess i mean you can make money yeah i mean i don't know if they i don't know if either a lot of women they're going to be like sponsorships are where the real money is so that's probably not let's sponsor a disc golfer like ymh style yeah or two bear style yeah we'll get them [ __ ] decked out and do bears gear yeah head to toe head to toe get him in new shoes yeah all right let's see stop top disc golfers preferably someone with a disability i think that's going to be better branding for us yeah yeah is there someone that's blind not blind would be a hard disc golfer [Laughter] no no turn them this way whispering you gotta go left too far left um i wonder what sponsors they have like what kind of sponsors this is like coming to the first tee johnny left hey what do we sponsor josh potter you think you think he could do it does it say oh for real make it bigger lenovo is uh is the biggest disc golf the ones i know so wait can we see some pictures of some pro disc golfers yeah i want to see uh disc golders dumped his colders oh let's get a check let's sponsor a chick yeah there's a whole top seven women in disc golf yeah let's see them and pictures too okay paige pierce too young next okay 614 okay sarah how come hawkham yeah evelina salonen they're all young they're all [ __ ] yeah this is the the how do we even do an adult here we go katarina katarina allen katrina katarina katrina looks like she smokes weed doesn't she i don't know paige buricus bjerkus is [ __ ] 14. jesus christ helena bloom blue moose henna that's her name yeah henna is a child also they're all very young they look young i should say i don't know their ages does it say their ages okay well i mean we can we could definitely reach out and see if we could sponsor someone why don't we why don't we sponsor is that really where we should be investing in maybe maybe not i don't know if considering that we can't find the top golfers i'm sure that we're not gonna be able to find yeah what should we sponsor what what what athlete should we sponsor i don't know fisherman let's really think out of the box okay like uh esports oh we should support it yeah but they don't but did they listen to podcasts our sponsorship should lean into getting us new listeners right right right right so we need to find something we need to sponsor something if you sponsor some badass a gamer that could possibly work yeah sure all right hot chick gamers i bet there's some smoking hot gamers yeah yeah yeah but what do they need us for female top he wants to know the females are we will sponsor a team let's see yeah look at these okay these are the top highest earning female esports gamers in the world let's see who they are are you guys into gamers gaming any you seem like you'd be a gamer that's where he comes from oh yeah yeah he loves gaming okay here's sasha sasha is very attractive is it can i not say that yeah you can for sure so i hope she's uh 18. okay she is very attractive okay she's like got model good looks oh my god i'm reading what's underneath it she's from canada scroll a little more she's 24. okay esports right in the world it earns 200 million dollars i think that's 200 000. oh yeah that would be [ __ ] odd yeah we don't know who she was yeah yeah okay catherine gunn misty jesus oh those are their gaming names mystique yeah she's american uh has been has been uh professionally gaming can you make that bigger or since 2007 uh okay halo reach mistake she has let's see all right so she's making like six-figure stuff they're all making six figures yeah ricky ortiz what's her gamer name i don't know see if it says it underneath here uh date of birth unknown okay okay oh really so that's like her game oh ricky is also known for being the highest ranking transgender player like the first one who you thought was gorgeous sasha's transgender yes [ __ ] yes yep oh then let's sponsor sasha ooh georgie i love this haircut bartel wait go back to sasha i didn't know sorry i couldn't i didn't wait wait wait wait wait let's go through this list first okay marjorie yes bartel yeah kasumi chan i like her haircut yeah she's really crazy glasses it's like throwback style yeah it's very attractive yeah i hope that we're not going to get in trouble with gamers gamers are [ __ ] crazy like why are we getting crow i don't know i just do you never know what like you you're not supposed to call chicks attractive all right she won 50 that was a long time ago these are like i think this is an old list man do you think these people are dead now um when does that list come out go back to sasha i can't believe sasha is transgendered okay yeah i guess i don't i can't see it we're just looking at one image you could look at type in more of sasha hostin they got they've been bullied because of this is that what that said in that article i didn't see that i don't see it i don't see it is that oh i still think she's hot huh are you sure and by the way is there an advantage to being transgendered in esports i don't know like if you're if you're if you're shut up so there's no there's no benefit to be a guy and play esports girls are just as good as guys they compete in the same really that's what he's saying so what other sports does is does sex not matter because uh billiards it shouldn't matter right but is are women in the same no they have female and male i bet because there's the black widow yeah i met her once i think that's that uh the billiards i played i played pool with her how was it uh she's a bad back really yeah she has a bad back what am i not supposed to was that a secret i don't think so yeah type in the black widow she's beautiful [ __ ] beautiful are you gonna pull i thought you're gonna say are you into asian chicks oh are you in asian chicks are you i never was and now i am did you ever she is gorgeous did you ever hook up with one no no i've only hooked up with whites it's my whole thing my whole list are whites really white so let me think uh i can write them down there's only six of them i'm gonna write down my list all right you try to write down your list okay people you've made love to made love only yup okay um but leanne is the last one he's probably best um that girl in liverpool wow how many of you people have you had sex with i don't know do you need any more ink for that pen it's not that long it's not that long of a list i thought your number was going to be in like the hundreds no for real no how many women have you had anal sex with anal zero for real never had anal me either then [Laughter] i'm trying to remember why who am i forgetting oh um you haven't had sex with a lot of people at all well i'm trying to remember names man uh uh jesus i can't remember their names this one kind of counts my dick was between her butt cheek and her bed oh here we go my blow job list is through the roof really yeah roses are red violets are blue don't let a wild pube wreck you valentine's day is just around the corner and our sponsors at manscape are here for you with the best tools to get your balls ready for this special occasion you're probably going to want to come in someone and it's nothing better than having clean [ __ ] and balls and this valentine's day it's time to join the four million men and roughly eight 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number one meal kit i remember doing i remember doing uh doing a tv show with um [Music] with gary valentine gary valentine is uh kevin james's brother we are a tv show together he is the funniest human being alive and he um we were talking to a sex expert and she was talking about she was talking about uh as the number of people you have sex with increase your your increa you increase your odds of it's very very obvious you increase your odds of sexually transmitted diseases and she goes gary how many how many people have you had sex with and he goes do we count blow jobs [Music] he's uh he is [ __ ] hilarious he is one of the funniest human beings god damn it that's crazy you become friends with someone and then you just don't ever see them again yeah i'm not bizarre we used to spend every [ __ ] day together because we worked on a tv show together we drink every night did i ever tell you the time that uh that that we pranked gary and we put mike mike um burton in the back of my truck yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yes and then he didn't pop up yeah he popped up that was the [ __ ] hardest that's not mike burton you know the problem is with lists like this though is that you probably dated all these girls yeah i did no no no these two i didn't okay because most of these are one-nighters and they're so old but do you count putting your dick in someone a little bit there's one there's two chicks i kind of put my dick in but i didn't [ __ ] them but we kind of like you know like just like little and then you're like and then they suck my dick jesus man is that why why didn't you guys why did you put it in and then not i uh we're going to be honest yeah because i come so fast i didn't want to just blow i was still i was having fun so you were like let's not do it no it was like and it was did you frame it as i don't want to do this yet no no i no one i really wish i had had sex with really in retrospect i really regret not having sex with her wish i knew her name she was the coolest chick i to this day i think i get excited for her husband now i wish i could say if i saw her husband i would say hey man you really scored like she was the funnest coolest chick she was from chicago she i wonder my burp smells so bad right i smell so bad i think this is a kind of complete list i think i don't know i bet i could count blow jobs too really i bet i could uh the um i wish i could find i have a picture of her i better no i don't oh i wish i had phones earlier you wish you had phones like meaning like pictures on your cell phones yeah oh yeah because i would love to see some pictures from like when i first started comedy what's your number tom is this a complete list i think i'm forgetting um a couple randoms these are so old man you're asking me to think back like like like think okay who did you lose your virginity to i wrote it down what does it say i don't want to say it why there's many names like that no no what i just don't want to is it what does it rhyme with stop benefit well i don't even i can't even read it i know that's fine i think is it but i don't want to say it why do you know her still of course really well yeah do you talk to her and stuff no do you follow her on instagram no do you follow any of these chicks on instagram uh yeah you do yeah let me see one can i see one yeah christina i follow i don't follow her i should follow her right now i'll follow him i'm gonna follow the girl i lost my virginity too okay i'm gonna grab my phone [Laughter] jesus christ you know you know what my dad said how's the tuna out there what do you say my dad goes uh wait where was this where was i was it my dad that says said it peter where he goes a guy doesn't have a virginity what he goes you can't take a guy's virginity and we're all like you definitely can it was my my it was my my dad said it you weren't there peter it was we were it was over for thanksgiving someone said something about being losing their virginity and my dad goes you can't lose your virginity you're you're a man and i went it was like almost like such an old school way of thinking yeah yeah that we're like dad everyone's a virgin yeah and he's like no not guys yes they are like yeah he goes no you can't take a guy's virginity yeah i was like i've taken a lot of guys virginity dad i don't know her i don't know i think she's married i don't know her her uh try to find it i don't know maybe i do follow her i bet i do you know what's very cool about my list though what so i have two sisters and i slept with both of their best friends that is really [ __ ] cool and can i tell you i think about that a lot yeah the one the one i think about i wonder and they they both had very different reactions really yeah my uh oh i can't follow her now i'm [ __ ] talking about this on the goddamn show what is is it a public profile no is it private it's yeah it's private yeah [ __ ] i can't follow her now my one of them is not on social media at all it's not on any social media apps really yeah i need to start a burner account get a burner account start following these hoses i was in the car with i was in the car now you're thinking like any yeah i was in the car driving over here today and i was like i can't like leanne is flying into texas today and i go i can't believe i'm still with her like like in that crazy ever think that like you're like going like i'm still with this one person yeah like out of this list there's there's out of this list out of all the chicks i've ever dated yeah and hooked up with yeah that leanne's stuck you know like they like that that one's stuck not crazy yeah do you do you are you how do you feel about the fact that it's stuck i'd rather be with her than with any of these women easily but like definitely without a [ __ ] doubt yeah without a doubt without a doubt i'm really happy i'm with her but it's crazy that like that's the one you know like like like all these ones had all these ones had reasons i be i i bailed right and then in even the list of just girls i've dated they all have a reason there there's like a i bailed on all of them and it was like something happened where i was like oh she's [ __ ] crazy or or you know x whatever but then the end didn't do anything you know we had to be friends when you didn't have fun we had a date when we didn't have phones that's so much harder than the kids no phones like when we first started dating you weren't texting when we first started dating you had to spend a lot of time with that person yeah like you when there were iphones running calls you'd make phone calls you'd call them but you but when you were together yeah you weren't on your phone you were just there right so much easier now that i can like tap out and not talk to her and just be like huh what yeah like relationships since cell phones relationships are i wonder how many of these girls would have stuck around if i had a cell phone [Laughter] you know yeah that's a good point i'd have been like huh what yeah yeah i didn't notice you're [ __ ] yeah like i just been like you're she's brilliant huh what yeah yeah yeah i never none of them ever texted me pictures of themselves naked i know we missed that i missed that god damn it i missed all of that that's crazy i on this list there are there is one that definitely would be telling us any naked pictures really a hundred percent i definitely have a few hoes on this list [Laughter] you realize i don't know like the majority of these names they're just nicknames i mean i wrote down pool party savannah that's not her name that's the city we [ __ ] in uh who do you think on that whole list who do you think you did the best to did the best too yeah oh i know i happen to know her name so i can't say it yeah because some days you you just you're performing right i got yeah one of mine one of mine was was uh one of them there's two one-night stands i know who i did the worst with uh i do too that one right here man that one was [ __ ] bad this was bad this was really good this was she was disappointed oh this one this one almost threw a punch at me like she went like this this one built up a big talk and then i realized as we were doing it that like i wasn't attracted to her and like it went from flirty stuff before to like oh i don't think we have like we shouldn't be doing this we don't have any chemistry i know she was just talking to me like i'm talking to you right now during sex you know she was casually like yeah she was like so you're gonna come and i was like i was like yeah a lot of you keep talking like yes yeah and then i was like yeah just be quiet i'll try to finish something crazy out of that whole list that you ended up with christina i know that whole list of people that all had a shot at the title yeah yeah i know but actually you know there's a there's a bunch of mistakes on here the most of these are mistakes it's just accidents well just like i mean just there's rain like okay these two were potential yeses potential yes fun crazy hookup disaster i want to see pictures of that this one how come they don't have an app how come they don't have an app this one's kind of famous i can't say you got to tell me no no i'll tell you later wait tell me now no so i can wait tell me do you have sex with two famous people yeah i guess so how how famous like what is she just tell me who it is and then we'll try to cut it out now like you know i'll talk about it yeah um i'm curious you know i never looked up um somebody who i almost ended up with i've never looked her up wasn't that weird what do you mean i almost ended up with her and i'm married to her well i mean i i'm saying it could have gone down that path who is she a girl that i dated what do you mean look her up what do you mean you just like after i was like no like i'm i don't want to i turned her down yeah i've never looked her up again i never looked up her name i never looked her up on social media do you know her name is stuff i know her what i would i know what her maiden name i don't know i don't know if she's married you know i assume she is i wish i could find i wonder if the chick who i dated in new york follows me on instagram the girl oh i wonder if i can look her up you probably can i would be very interested to see what her life is like should i look up that girl now yep okay all right let's see i'm going into people to follow me 1.8 million okay well there are a lot of girls named dana i think her name's dana one of her name's dana is it tiffany wouldn't it be cool if there was an app where you could track all the people you had sex with and then and then you could find and you could connect and find out who they've had sex with and so you who you've had sex with based on who they've had sex with what like if you if like okay so if i put types in the people that i on my list of that i had sex with and then i could go in and find out all the people they had sex with and do six separate six degrees of separation from sex is that english i wish i could find i wish i could find uh i don't go into my dms oh have you ever done this on your dms tom go into your dms okay okay okay go to uh rook 99 plus requests okay okay and then go to top requests uh-huh okay it tells you all the top requests it tells you all the famous people that have dm'd you yeah you've done that yeah donald trump yeah it's amazing like from and i i've never read any of these and it's like from 56 weeks ago oh yeah i don't i haven't [ __ ] looked at any of these 59 weeks ago netflix dm'd me by the way are you getting this that's popping up let's keep uh instagram a supportive place i don't think i've seen that reminder to follow our community guidelines and be respectful of messaging others i keep getting that and i wonder if i've i've never i don't reply to anyone or say anything so i wonder if like someone's sending like nasty messages to me oh am i really for what i don't reply to anybody are you serious so they think i'm saying nasty things to people oh no my content's very supportive i bet you know the problem with you is you you don't gain weight in your face really your face always stays the same completely not true for real type in tom fat face do you really do so fat it gets so fat you know everyone just commented how skinny you look in that picture are you posted yesterday oh you're right oh my god yeah you look like me yeah in that picture we look like we could be related so fat look how fat i am there that is not that's not that's a very different man look how ripped you are in that picture before and after people commented i like skinny wear you said on the picture you posted on instagram where me and you standing next to each other oh leanne's like tom's lost a lot of weight she saw me last week i know that's what i said i was like i was like god damn it i was like i was in the picture also i lost [ __ ] 15 pounds she's like yeah i know but tom looks really good it was uh it was in my stories i don't know if it's still there or not yeah it might be gone now oh yeah it's the next one that one my feet look skinny what my feet my legs look skinny i'm working on my body i know yeah and the big [ __ ] arms look how big this [ __ ] arm is and these shirts broken dude i'm just jacked i'm [ __ ] jacked you are jacked like inside here are so many muscles and like my lower back is strong as [ __ ] i'm doing a lot of dead lifts i like that you always find the positive in in this stuff you know like right now you're like my i have a strong lower back it's thin my my lower black black my lower back your lower back who's your hire black hey what are we gonna eat for lunch today what are you gonna eat something healthy i brought a shake i already had a shake was it a peanut butter smoothie peanut butter smoothies that was [ __ ] good it's that's half the reason i go to on it is to get those smoothies my favorite [ __ ] uh high treat when i was in college we would get [ __ ] loaded yeah just some bomb rips blunts joint like get absolutely ripped yes and then go in the kitchen and make peanut butter milkshakes like ice cream peanut butter just when you're super high there's nothing peanut butter's so good peanut butter milkshake oh my god that's the best thing i've ever had oh i'm hungry i want hot dogs i love hot dogs i have a hard time saying no to hot dogs do you remember that time we were at the beach and i ate like 18 hot dogs do you remember that we were at my beach house and i kept eating hot dogs and i had diarrhea yeah and you and i go i wonder what i got a diary from when you go you've eaten two packs of hot dogs and i went will they give you diarrhea and you're like are you being serious yeah but you also had a bunch of uh donuts that day i did have donuts that day god damn it good memory yeah i remember i so so let's just re-recap this you had a bunch of donuts and a bunch of hot dogs i see the hot dog right [ __ ] now i could you have hot dogs any no you do not i'm gonna have a [ __ ] hot dog today isn't that crazy how you manifest things yeah that is crazy how good though how good would some fresh doughnuts be right now i'm not i'm i'm in a salty mood oh you're an assault yeah i want salty i want uh i want uh i would tear up a donut right now i would tear up a hot dog i could go for a double cheeseburger from whataburger i could go for breakfast burritos i could go for pizza breakfast burrito sounds good taco bells or breakfast tacos breakfast tacos always sound good they're really there's a bunch of good ones why don't they do more breakfast why don't they do a breakfast pizza you know people that they do right i know but pizza hut should be or domino should be doing breakfast pizzas that's a good idea for them because do they type in breakfast pizza i saw i saw mario batali do one for michael stipe one time uh-huh he made can you type [ __ ] that looks so good from wait from rem yeah type in mario god damn it that [ __ ] that's what i want yeah that's what i want in life and it but the problem is the egg doesn't travel so great yeah yeah by the time it's cold you got to be there type in michael stipe mario batali yeah it stinks that uh my that mario batali that's definitely the height explain how you spell that you wrote b italy uh egg uh egg egg pizza if you can find this i [ __ ] i remember watching this they're like best friends michael's stipend him and he had michael he might go snipe over and he made him an egg pizza and i watched it and i was like just little things chef can do little things like just the way they sprinkle salt on it yeah and dude his multiple mario was such a good [ __ ] show who battalion when he would just have people and he'd make them italian food and they'd sit and they'd eat and it was just it was such a good [ __ ] show does he do anything now no he got me tood and i think he's i think it was like i think it was i don't i don't remember really but it was like uh it was just unsafe work environment oh he was like kind of aggressive at work or something i guess i don't know i don't remember i remember the whole thing i'm all i can say is i like this tv show a lot dude that was the old school food network was the best i i no slide on the current food network programming i love guys grocery games i love the i love those type of foods but i don't like competition food shows aren't as good to me as like a straight-up chef cooking and talking i love that [ __ ] bobby flay making steaks and telling you how to i remember getting so into cooking yeah because of the cooking of the food network yeah i love that [ __ ] you know i made my own pasta one time because of that yeah and it was so [ __ ] good pasta making pasta it that when you make it i mean you know what i did i made my own pasta and i did um what's the what's the uh bacon fat with egg yolks i don't know uh [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] italian dish it's an italian dish and it's it's uh it's it's the [ __ ] bacon egg carbonara okay i made spaghetti carbonara with uh real pasta one time and it was i'll tell you what's beautiful about that we can't do it hungry you have to do it not hungry because it takes a while yeah and that's the fun thing is making food when you're not hungry yes i'm taking your time with it yeah it's and it's like god damn it out of all these chicks only my wife cooked for me that's a big deal not interesting yeah as a matter of fact i don't know if any of these women can cook one of these chicks i had sex with her and i thought she must have had a bologna sandwich ever tell you this i was like she had a baloney sandwich i haven't had a balloon sandwich forever and i liked baloney sandwich because you smelled it on her i smelled it all over her i was like she had a bologna sandwich who eats a baloney sandwich that goes out to bars but i was like whatever ended up bumping into her bar the next night and we go back i'm like goddammit she had it in [ __ ] another baloney sandwich i end up spending the night that night i wake up in the morning she goes you hungry and i was like yeah she's like what do you want i was like i'll take a baloney she goes i wanna have baloney i was like you don't she goes no and i went oh you just smell like bologna like your natural smell no i didn't say that i just kept it myself but i like smell of baloney yeah i didn't have a problem with it do you think that was just what she smelled like baloney i'd be curious if you if you met her to smell her i would love to smell her just go island i would i would hike isla would sn isla like just smelled it the different people that walked past us and she would make noises based on their smell it was a [ __ ] funny you'd know she would you made a good point i'm counting now who coached for me cooked for me cooked for me the first one cooked for you yeah you were like 17 years old yeah but we dated for a while a few years oh for real yeah one two did she know that she took your virginity yeah you told her it was at the same time i took her i mean oh you guys shared it yeah oh that's so cool what's that like a mess wait and were you scared and nervous and cried yeah did you guys cry no did she cry no i think it was more like that i feel like it was more like okay that's done now you know i mean like it was i don't remember i don't know what i don't even know we were kind of nervous and it was like oh i guess i'm i guess i'm not a virgin anymore like it was like that i don't know what i don't you gotta like you gotta what do you do what do you what do you do to take someone's virginity do you have to like break something right well yeah i guess isn't it the hymen that breaks i don't know pull up a picture of the hymen what what i don't even know what what it is um okay okay i don't want to see this i don't think right how are they spreading what is i'm so confused well there it is so what is so that tears that there that's the thing that blocks things well it's just um i don't want to [ __ ] see this that why is that gross and that's a vagina it's inside yeah so that tears when you have sex and then do you remember breaking it um i don't remember breaking i remember the blood yeah really yeah it's all over your dick it's all over everything really yeah oh my getting my [ __ ] tingling yeah yeah your ass might bleed too if you do it oh [ __ ] so it's it's only it's like it's like a it's like a look at that one right there in the middle is perfect that one yeah see so that skin tears the vaginal opening oh [ __ ] oh wait so oh my god the vaginal opening is smaller oh [ __ ] i don't want to know about it i don't want to know i don't want to know never mind this is a bad mistake that's [ __ ] crazy yeah only one cooked for me and these [ __ ] can't cook for sure and then yeah this girl probably can't cook she's from liverpool [Laughter] you're like i don't even want to find out if she could you know she was tongue tied no yeah tongue tied you know what that is guys is when you can't take your tongue out of your mouth so in order to kiss her you just licked her tongue how long did you date her it was a night it was a night i think she had sex with me so she was spending the night oh i think you told me this story we went to uh we went to a we went to a uh theme park her and her sister and then she uh i wonder if there's i wonder if she is watching this right now and she goes wait that's the guy i thought she was like oh laddie that's the guy i [ __ ] hello i told you she drank uh would it be crazy if you married her no i would not we we didn't have a lot in common we i didn't uh sh we didn't have much she was fun she partied she smoked cool cigarettes and drank kaboski jesus i know as i was [ __ ] i was like this is what it would smell like to [ __ ] tupac jesus christ yeah or tony woods [Laughter] let's see yeah this could have been a marriage possibly there's a couple girls i can't believe i didn't [ __ ] this one i guess could have been potentially this is a definite no this is definite yes this is marriage no yeah uh no no no that was a yes until yeah she messed it up no no no i could have this one this one was never a yes that was never i wish i had more sex with more chicks now because i feel like my list is boring get out there see what happens i could i could maybe i'll just maybe i'll get them all together and we'll start a intramural basketball team yeah yeah with one sub [Laughter] is there someone you would you wished you had had sex with yeah in like like high school college no no like in stand-up comedy in stand-up like is there someone is there is there a female comedian that you hey buddy we all know who yours is who's mine do you not remember anything yesterday no what did i say what did i say what did i say did did i say something hey yeah what did i say oh is this when we were [ __ ] partying uh yeah god damn it you remember i'm guessing i know i know two people we talked about but i don't remember if i said i wanted to [ __ ] them well you didn't you didn't use the words explicitly but it sure seemed implied oh no no i yeah there's a lot of attractive female comedians okay all right are there's many apartheid all right yeah is there a number that you specifically wish you would slept with no no there's no i no i've never had i've never been i think stand-up gets in the way of my physical attraction to the women uh-huh because i because they do exactly what i do yeah i don't i have a i see them very differently and i see them as sexy like like uh like i find there are attractive female comedians but because we do what we do i look at them differently yeah isn't that crazy like i i always look at them almost like sisters i never thought i would date like that was one of those things because people would say it i was a young comic but you know other comics who had been doing it longer they're like don't ever date another comic like kind of like don't date somebody from work and i just never assumed i would you know i assumed i would you did yeah i definitely thought i would i thought i would and then there just weren't that many girl girls doing stand-up when i started in new york the list was smallest aaron foley uh becky donohue um karen berggreen and you know amy's best friend was doing it then too so you uh i i apologize i can't remember her name right now because she still does count me she's very talented she was on a netflix special um type in she's i i'm saying amy's best friend because i'm always shocked that she's best friends with amy because i knew her when she started rachel feinstein yeah she was she was there but she was young she was like [ __ ] 17 or something yeah she said she does well man she's a good girl and pete um pete davidson are like the same age i think i don't know she is can i be respectful of rachel and say she has blossomed into a very attractive woman as a kid she was such a goofy when she started like 20 years ago she was uh the goofiest like goofball didn't you say that her and p davidson were the same age yeah right well you said she started 20 years ago she started 20 years ago pete david's been doing stand up 20 years he david since 24 25 no yeah how do i know pete then uh he's a very famous guy type in type and pete started when he was like 15 though he was a young guy but he started i remember meeting i remember seeing him when he was a kid at the clubs okay he said he's 28 28 okay he started when he was eight years old he's been doing stand up he's got to be doing stand up definitely as a teenager for sure yeah like 16 17. god man yeah how the [ __ ] does he do it um i don't know 16. i mean i can't like it's interesting because if i i've run into pete uh you know not recently like right before pandemic i ran into pete and uh he didn't do anything special he just said hi yeah and he was when we were watching going to go see the next game i didn't see anything special just a regular person very sweet yeah how does that regular person meet kim kardashian and go you're in like i like like like it's [ __ ] fascinating to me i'm i'm actually fascinated pete davidson's list of people he's dated is so anti who he is like he's not it's not i mean i don't know by the way i don't really know pete davidson more than more than more than more than like you know yeah knowing him when he was younger bumping into him every now and then just a very sweet guy but he just isn't he's not like he doesn't seem like a star [ __ ] he doesn't seem like to me and i could be wrong he doesn't seem like like fame is attractive to him at all he's he's very anti-famous right but all of a sudden his love is [ __ ] through the goddamn roof he's probably just genuine with these girls and i think that's part of the appeal and funny like just being genuine and funny oh yeah that is what he is very genuine yeah so i don't know they're used to like everybody like probably coming on super aggressively or being weird around them but like here's the thing okay this is what i meant to say we all know those comics that were dogs that are sliding into girls dms and all about [ __ ] right that was a big thing when we were starting stand up and i think it's i'm going to be dead honestly i think it's the reason we're successful is that we didn't focus on [ __ ] at all stand up had no standup never paid our [ __ ] bill for us right like we were we i think very early we fell in love and started with the same chick and so stand up for us was about being funny right but we all know the guys where stand-up was about by the way this beer just kicked in and started feel good again yeah i feel like we should i'm not excited for our next episode okay um so so so but we all know those guys who fell prey yeah to [ __ ] so they they never when if you're listening that means they never changed their act yeah they just did what murdered and they had all like fun cute boy [ __ ] to to just get [ __ ] yeah and then and and but that's so not who pete davidson is yet he has achieved what all those pussy-getting comics wanted yes with ever out searching out for the [ __ ] yeah he just was himself and got all the [ __ ] also that's a great way to get it god damn it yeah it's a good lesson all right uh i love you we'll see you soon i'm gonna i'm gonna i'm gonna open another beer okay and then we'll i love you [Music] tom okay and bert one goes topless while the other wears a shirt tom tells stories inverts the machine there's not a chance in hell that they'll keep it clean here's what we call two bears one cave no script's a bitter booze amateur partology dirty jokes raunchy humor no apologies here's what we call two bears one cave [Music] you
Info
Channel: YMH Studios
Views: 730,434
Rating: undefined out of 5
Keywords: ymh, your mom's house, your moms house, tom segura, christina pazsitzky, christina p, mommies, jeans, up, high and tight, what's with the jeans, denim on denim, podcast
Id: VZNxgCg1eYA
Channel Id: undefined
Length: 79min 13sec (4753 seconds)
Published: Mon Jan 17 2022
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