Entitled Sister In Law Demands To Experience BABY Birth & See Me In Labor - Toxic SIL Stories

why do you hate your sister-in-law so I'm six months pregnant and I've been very open about what kind of way I want to give birth I've discussed this with my group of girlfriends extensively along with my family I ideally want to have a natural unassisted birth at home which is near a hospital if things start to shape up is problematic now for this process I want support and of course my husband is going to be there but also I want my two sisters to be with me this is where things get controversial in my many conversations with friends and family I mentioned I want my sister's there with me I do not want my brother there that would just be weird but in these conversations my trans sister-in-law was present and she got the idea she would be included in this childbirth situation just for reference she transitioned around three years ago I was unaware of this until last week when she told me if there is anything in particular she should bring for the birth I calmly mentioned that I am very selective over who I want in this very intimate situation and told her that I hope she isn't offended if she isn't there for the birthing this is when things blew up she lost her temper and I got a torrent of emotional outbursts she said that she would never be able to give birth herself and excluding her is taking away from her womanhood and depriving her of her only chance of experiencing this expression of femininity when she found out my two sisters were going to be there she told me that I was transphobic and she has as much of a right to be there as they do after this I received many emails Facebook messages and text messages from several different people calling me hateful and many other hurtful things my trans sister is very active in the activism community which I fully support and apparently she told them what had transpired this has obviously rallied them to harass me and now I'm starting to wonder if I messed up I kind of wish I never mentioned anything about the birthing process to her maybe I should have just kept all of these plans to myself so she wouldn't feel excluded I'm aware trans people have a pretty crappy deal in life and perhaps this added to their feelings of exclusion but the other part of me says it's my birthing I'm going to be very vulnerable and exposed and I perhaps selfishly oh it to myself to make it as comfortable and safe for me as possible so hear me out please I got into a fight last night with my brother because he claims I'm an idiot but I think differently it all revolves around his fiancee will call her Carol for now Carol is nice and dull but she is really opinionated and really stupid and when I say stupid I mean stereotypical blonde dumber than a rock stupid if you want an example she constantly will say things like she thinks global warming is a myth because how can the Sun be heating up the planet when all it does is rotate around the earth I'm not exaggerating here she constantly says things like this and every time I just am impressed by how stupid she is what makes it worse is sometimes she thinks she's right and refuses to listen to reason me my siblings and my mom and dad all make fun of her for this kind of stuff and my brother knows we don't say anything to her though because like I said she is nice enough and my brother really does love her well last night though I lost it with her Carol and my brother came to my parents for dinner we were just hanging around when we got onto the topic of the coronavirus as we were talking Carol said I don't understand why people are so afraid it's not like we can catch it we're not Chinese the room went silent when she said this and I had to ask her to clarify she thinks that it's impossible to catch diseases from other races my dad tried to tell her that she was wrong but she kept insisting she was right and claimed she read about this from Facebook scientists I lost it at this I broke down laughing and just started asking her how she survived this long being this stupid Carol got offended at this and stormed out of the room my brother was annoyed too and left right after he called me when he got home and demanded I apologized to her and called me an idiot I told him that it's not my fault she's an idiot and he hung up my parents and siblings are staying out of this but my mom told me I should apologize and that I'm in the wrong I disagree my husband and I rent a house with his brother and wife we live in a very expensive city and this is quite a big house with great metro access so that's what's convenient we get along fine usually my husband and I have a son he's just turned five the early years were the normal struggle of trying to teach basic human functioning to a kid but now it's become so fun during this time there were definitely low points when he wouldn't sleep juggling work in childcare potty training etc there were quite some bad days but my husband and I got through them and my brother-in-law and his wife have never been asked to help whatever their plans are at home or out we have never asked them to change their plans or watch our kids recently they had their own child and are going through the newborn stage sis-in-law is on maternity leave and brother-in-law is working so a few days ago I pick up my son from school and we come home before going to a highly anticipated trip to the movies when we get home sister is in the living room in tears it seems her newborn didn't sleep much and has been colicky all day I sympathize with her and tell her that this stage will be over soon then my son and I leave for the movie today my husband told me that both my brother-in-law and his wife are angry that I didn't offer to take care of the baby for a while so she could have a break I'm kind of shocked that I'm being asked to do something that they never even offered to do and we have never asked them to do I feel like they should take care of their kid just like we did eta for all those asking if I resent my in-laws for not helping I think any parent would like help but I don't feel entitled to their help when it's my husband's and my decision to have said child however I am feeling really resentful right now that they feel entitled to my help and the fact that they never helped me definitely makes it worse we are getting married in December I have never gotten along with my future sister-in-law I think she is overbearing rude and she thrusts her views down everyone's throat whether it's the right time or not she is also an on-again-off-again vegan and when she's on she's preachy and rude but then you can find a Wendy's wrapper in her carved the very next day I think she has borderline personality disorder but her family seems to tolerate it she is trying to start a catering company easily the fifth business she's tried to start in the five years I've known her my future mother-in-law asked me if I would consider using sister-in-laws business so I agreed to meet with her it's one of those things were everything from the words she used to the tone was just rude she was on a vegan kick so she didn't even ask me what I wanted but claims she spent 20 hours coming up with a menu that my southern family could tolerate my family is Rancho Santa Fe near San Diego no idea where she got the idea we were from the South what it looked like to me was she scratched some notes on a legal pad and claimed that took her 20 hours I told her I was really sorry but I'd always counted on having a great classic dish like duck a L'Orange at my wedding and asked if she could accommodate she said she would not use meat at all I asked if she'd be willing to make some of the hors d'oeuvres and she said she'd consider it I thought we were good that night I got a crazy angry call from my future mother-in-law that I had pulled the rug out from under my sister-in-law I explained to her what actually happened and mother-in-law calmed down a bit but after I explained the real situation well now we are in full histrionic meltdown with sister-in-law and she is claiming that if I don't place my order and give her a deposit now her business will fold my fiancee and mother-in-law are caught in the middle and trying to keep the peace I'm trying to make the point that I don't even think this business will be there in December and then we will have more family drama trying to get our money back from her I relented and asked her how much the deposit would be and the deposit only is twice as much as the total we are paying the professional caterer who is making the main course this is for some sort of vegan finger food I asked her what the total would be and she said she didn't know until the food was prepared I told her I was sick of her Bowl and hung up the phone I'm the major a hole in the family my fiancee my mother-in-law and of course my sister-in-law are annoyed my future father-in-law is awesome and he advised me not to back down as I'm the only one with the balls to counter the insanity I'm English and was raised in the UK but my parents are Turkish and loosely Muslim I moved to Colorado six years ago to be with my now husband after we studied at the same University together when he was in the UK we've been together for 11 years in total now and I'm currently pregnant with our first child all in all I'd say it's obvious that we are committed to each other and thank God we are both very happy with one another my sister-in-law in particular however has always had an issue with me my husband jumped headfirst into my second hand knowledge of Turkish and Islamic culture being that I was primarily raised in an English environment but she treats me like I'm a mail-order bride who can't speak English she's insulting and ignorant eg I'm blonde with blue eyes and she'll drawl at me that I'm so lucky I can blend in even though I'm Middle Eastern and other common comments are her favorite she also likes to make fun of my nose how hairy I am all said in a super-sweet jokey tone where she'll compare our arms features etc never in front of my husband because she knows that he won't stand for it always when we are alone my husband's family have a lot of downtime compared to us in the UK anyway and recently we went hiking I met the stage of pregnancy where my feet swell easily so I packed an old pair of pink timberlands that I've already broken in and are super comfy immediately into our hike she began complaining her feet were hurting after three hours we stopped for a break and she took her shoes off and we all saw her feet were rubbed bloody and sore after six hours they were bleeding quite badly my mother-in-law shouted out Malika has a spare pair consist her in-law wear them I looked at my sister-in-law dead in the eye and said no sorry I want to keep them in case my feet swell up in the end her husband had to end up carrying her back down and she was crying because her feet had blistered and bled up so bad my mother-in-law was totally fine with it but my sister-in-law hasn't spoken to me since this happened a week ago has been sending around passive-aggressive comments in the family group chat all week including Bible verses about sharing and giving to one another I feel like I'm probably the idiot because she was obviously in pain to the extent her feet were bleeding something awful but I also feel justified because she's constantly rude and belittling to me for four years sister-in-law has posed as a friend to me often texted me invited me to hers for ketchups and girls nights in lunches supported me through my pregnancy which was a bumpy road invited me to play groups with the children and also shared intimate details about her turbulent relationship gosh she even forced a visit to the hospital the day my baby was born she was one of the very few because I didn't want visitors but agreed to it because partner wanted her there I supported her through tough times by offering her a confidential safe space to vent and offload a few months ago it came to light that she and her now-husband had secretly gone to Barcelona in the summer to attend my partner's ex's wedding mother-in-law decided to stir the pot by telling partner the news when it all came out my partner was furious he fell out with sister-in-law the family had big arguments I stayed out of it things have settled down at the time I felt I had no right to be annoyed as it didn't directly disrespect me however I did feel a little annoyed about the idea of her pretending to be my friend whilst having a relationship with my partner's ex they have been separated for seven years that bit stung because I felt slightly betrayed personally I would never maintain a relationship with my brother's acts out of respect to him and his new partner especially if the ex had moved abroad and lost contact with the rest of the family that said everyone is different and it probably didn't make too much of a difference to me if she did or did not have a relationship with the ex maybe they were good friends before however sister-in-law could have been decent enough to be straight up with me and tell me this from the beginning anyways as I was saying I wasn't upset or annoyed at the time but I very suddenly realized that sister-in-law is no true friend of mine fine it is what it is she is my sister-in-law and I will tolerate her when I see her as a result i minimized contact and any communications were brief / civil browsing through Instagram this evening I noticed that said ex has been liking all of sister-in-laws posts and so has said exes mother being nosy I clicked on this mother's profile OMG my sister-in-law wasn't just aghast she was a bloody bridesmaid WTF I'm unsure if my partner knows this because he hasn't mentioned it to me he just told me that she was at the wedding and it made him angry did mother-in-law decide to omit the fact that sister-in-law was a bridesmaid which is a big deal if you ask me now I am pretty angry about it all and I don't even want to be in this woman's company she has no morals this isn't the first time she has done something pretty crappy she refused to invite her aunt to her own wedding because she couldn't afford another guest but she invited her brother's new girlfriends who have been on the scene far less than a loyal and very generous and yet she could afford to have two fancy wedding dresses and all sorts of entertainment which included a petting zoo for the children face painting a band and more na I'm annoyed now maybe I'm being overly sensitive but one thing is for sure she certainly is not my friend I'd confidently say she is a snake in the grass who was only out to fulfill her own needs and I have zero tolerance for sneaky people update ex cheated on partner they broke up he doesn't talk about it and I don't ask I have been dating a wonderful man 24 years old male for a little over three years now we're both stable in our careers and he proposed woohoo I'm over the moon we'll call him Ben Ben's brother Kyle 26 years old male started seeing this girl Katharina twenty eight years old female about one and a half years ago Ben actually worked with her and he set them up because she had a very overt crush on Ben he figured maybe they'd hook up and she get it out of her system I warned him that this was probably not the best idea lo and behold they become a couple a month after we moved in together they did the same a few months into their relationship we went on an overseas vacation and by the time we got home they had booked tickets to the same place because I quote we saw your photos and thought about how it wasn't fair that you were there and we weren't these kind of weird petty things have kept happening and Ben is very aware of it too Catherina is also flat-out rude and degrading to Kyle in front of the family she kind of treats him like a servant she will ask him to fetch something he'll ask if he can eat first and she will say no this is also Kyle's first relationship early last year Kyle proposed to Katharina Ben has sat him down and had the are you sure talked a couple times and he's convinced she's the love of his life now that's all totally fine he can obviously marry who he likes and all Ben can do is express his concern this woman is very competitive with me she will say things like I didn't bring any Christmas baking I knew you would and then it would be a competition I just nervously laugh at these comments because I don't know how to respond opening Christmas presents from Ben and Kyle's parents she will pretend to be excitedly curious about what I got then drop the act and go I was just making sure they were the same as mine and walk away needless to say when Ben proposed to me she pretended to be super excited but I'm not buying it Ben's dad had a champagne toast for us at Christmas and their cousin who had just got engaged and Katharina seriously asked him what about us he's a very jokey man and basically said you guys had your turn oh also Ben double-checked with Kyle that we wouldn't be stepping on their toes but they're having a two-year engagement and I don't think it would be fair to ask Ben to wait to propose anyway now enter the wedding situation I am one of two bridesmaids in their wedding because she legitimately doesn't have any friends I do not want her to be a bridesmaid at my wedding and I'm struggling with feeling compelled to ask her she's asking me to go to wedding shows with her now and truth be told I just want to go with my friends I don't want to worry about her strange petty comments and I'm honestly a little worried about her trying to one-up anything we plan I can't help but wonder if all this comes from some weird jealousy she has started dressing Kyle like been sending him to the same barber asking Ben what aftershave he uses so she can buy it for Ben and even has referred to Kyle as Ben when talking to me a few times [Music]

Channel: ASK GURL

Views: 72,261

Rating: 4.869041 out of 5

Keywords: askreddit, reddit, reddit women, reddit sister in law, reddit pregnancy, reddit sister, reddit family, reddit drama, reddit girl

Id: bw-5Vx-olXA

Length: 18min 11sec (1091 seconds)

Published: Mon Jun 29 2020