Mother In Law Went Over My & Husband's Bedroom To Inspect Our Stuff While We Were Away From Home

people what is your awful mother-in-law story few years back my husband and I were headed off on a big trip but my ever reliable parents would also be out of town I had major hesitancies about giving my dear husband's family a key to the house but they had agreed to dog-sit at their own house and only come over to check the mail less than 24 hours out of the country mother-in-law informs us that she's had a big argument with my sister-in-law apple doesn't fall far and decided to stay at our house to chill out from the drama I remember my stomach sinking we had left the house in a frenzied state late for our flight and my mother-in-law is an insane person who cannot sleep at night if she knows there's dirty laundry in her home I'm not kidding here it gives her insomnia my husband and I are completely stuck no one else is in town to watch our dog she is the only one with the spare key other than my dad who's also out of town we both buried our heads and prepped for the worst nothing could have ever prepared us his dad picks us up from the airport we are about halfway home when he casually says so you know your mom she did some small cleaning I felt my face get hot with anger but maintained my cool for the rest of the ride when we got to our door I should have known what was coming because my father-in-law would not come inside he bounced real quick we entered our home and every freaking drawer in the place was sifted through not just the kitchen we are talking laundry room night tables clothing bathroom medicines underwear mortgage documents everything everything was touched and reorganized I'm already screaming my head off when it dawns on me the top shelf in our bedroom closet there was no way she would go near it I stared blankly at my husband and just said the closet his eyes grew wide and we both booted it upstairs and swung the door open I will preamble this by saying I had massive gyno surgery back in my late 20s a couple of years after marrying it was majorly depressing and it took a long time to get my groove back the bottles of Lube had been lined up like an alphabetized bookstore my lingerie was folded and the Encore my husband sheepishly in for me that he had also hit some x-rated Polaroids we took of each other on a romantic honeymoon trip to Paris within the closet we had thought analog was safer than digital they appeared to be rearranged - I had no words he had no words I felt my face turned red hot and I think I screamed so loud that night I strained my voice for days even now I cannot mention it to my husband because he cannot handle the cringe he feels we still can't talk about it so obviously we ended up having a huge fight over this when it happened my dear husband is a walk on eggshells let's all be happy kind of guy it took one of our biggest throwdowns ever to convince him to confront her and she basically helped him do it because the first time he saw her alone when we got back she started with I really don't want to say anything about how you live but if you two are ever going to have children you need to be more organized and tidy this was my dear husband's cue for the closet conversation he laced into her what's insane is that she wasn't embarrassed at all by her behavior she did not apologize she told us she made a key copy for herself and even after my father-in-law basically ran out of the room because it was so awkward between mother and son you know what she said at least I know you guys have a healthy bedroom life I wish I was kidding dear husband came home and told me about the conversation I went directly to Home Depot and changed our locks in the dark that same night she hasn't been alone in this house since nor does she have a key and just in case I changed my locks at least twice a year at least I looked real hot in those Polaroids I'm currently 33 weeks pregnant with my first baby a little girl and I'm absolutely ecstatic I was told at 19 that I was infertile so to have this miracle come along is just an absolute blessing and I couldn't be happier I've been with my husband the father for just over three years the issue comes with his mother she is possibly the most overbearing woman I have ever met I'm almost positive that in her mind her son is still a kid I got on with her great at the beginning of our relationship but after we moved in together she was our house literally every single night and wouldn't leave until about 10:00 p.m. she also talks to me as though I'm just an incubator for her son's child sometimes she'll just talk to my stomach without even acknowledging me which feels so dehumanizing she and my husband are very close but I feel as though I have no time alone with him because she is constantly there I honestly don't want her in the delivery room when I give birth but my husband is adamant on her being there I feel so selfish but I want my husband's support and I don't feel as though I'll have it with him constantly tending to her I brought this up with him and he told me I was being ridiculous and selfish and that I need to get used to her being around a lot I feel as though my birth is going to be so stressful with her around but my friends have told me just to let her be there and ignore her and my husband is obviously refusing to let me ban her from coming my daughter was born three years ago after 36 hours in labor I had a c-section after I had trouble breastfeeding my milk never came in properly and after two months of pumping and supplements and praying and crying we gave up and switched to formula completely I had my son three months ago via section I tried breastfeeding but again it didn't work I gave up quicker this time and we are using formula my mother-in-law has spent the last three years crowing about my failures as a mother all her children were born naturally she had no trouble breastfeeding c-sections are for quitters her body was just made to be a mother but don't worry dear I'm sure you're good at other things bla bla bla it's ramped me up with the new baby every time I see her which has been a lot just little passive-aggressive digs at me my husband has asked her to stop my father-in-law told her to stop but she just plays dumb for three years I kept quiet to her face but she made me cry more than once in private there was a little while about two weeks postpartum where I went to a seriously dark place and questioned whether she was right whether I shouldn't have become a mother and if they would be better off without me I'm feeling better now and those feelings aren't at all her fault but she sure didn't help important info my husband has two brothers his mom had a late term pregnancy loss of her only daughter and she always wanted a girl anyway this past weekend they were over for dinner and my husband was feeding the baby she starts and loudly about how she never needed bottles because she made so much milk and how she guessed she was just such a natural mother and how it just seemed so wrong to give a baby formula and she was such a perfect mother practically a fertility goddess and I was such a failure I'm sleep-deprived and hormonal and I've put up with this for years and I just snapped I said at least all my babies are alive as soon as it came out of my mouth I wished I could stuff it back in she got real quiet and they left pretty quick after without really saying anything I firmly believe I'm the but my husband think she deserved it after all the pain she intentionally caused me recently I went to my class reunion we all graduated when we were 18 now 15 years are passed and everyone is in their thirties it was a really nice event very interesting to find out what your old classmates have been up to all this time my former teacher had made a small photo album for each of us it consists of our pictures back when we graduated and our current pictures some people have changed a lot some me included haven't the next day mother-in-law came over and when she noticed the album a phrase came out of her mouth that wasn't that unexpected but quite unpleasant nevertheless she said look at everyone everyone has glowed up over these years even the ugly girls everyone but you unattractive then and unattractive now see that's something my mother-in-law has always held against me she's one of those women who love regularly spend a lot of time to make themselves look neat and attractive salons manicures pedicures hairdressers stylists and heavy makeup that's my mother-in-law she strongly believes that that's what every woman should do I'm the complete opposite I don't pay that much attention to my appearance to me the most important is to have the basic things like a clean body clean clothes washed hair and clean teeth I don't wear makeup my friend who's a hairdresser trims my hair every few months when it comes to my nails I just cut them short and forget about it it's so unimportant to me and that's why my mother-in-law thinks of me as an ugly duckling and sometimes spits out little comments like dull yourself up a bit how can you walk around like a grey mouse I don't understand what my son has found in you normally men don't look at women like you dye your hair for once your natural color is so dull I won't look like you even on my deathbed luckily I have a very thick skin when it comes to comments like this and normally that doesn't offend me at all I hear it and forget about it almost instantly I don't really care what people think about me if you don't like me I'm not going to rip myself in half just to make you like me so when she said I was like whatever she obviously thinks very highly of herself even though I feel like someone who's completely happy with themselves will not say hurtful things to others then mother-in-law was like you know just a little advice from one woman to another you should really look after yourself and make yourself look a little prettier otherwise you might lose your husband my son is a great man of course yet he's only a man and men don't like ugly women I thought well then you obviously don't know your son I highly doubt that the main reason why he married me was my looks I seriously don't think that that's the biggest priority when it comes to choosing who you want to spend your life with it's a factor of course but what's the point of a pretty face if the person who has it is an idiot later that day my husband came home from work and noticed the photo album - commenting on how cool and interesting it was I told him that his mother obviously disagrees because she was over earlier and called me ugly it didn't matter to me but it did to him I wasn't even expecting such a reaction because he called mother-in-law straightaway and asked her to explain why she would say something like that to me mother-in-law said that she only explained to me something I should know that a woman must be beautiful to not lose her marriage my husband was like mom don't forget that most of your beauty can be wiped off with a wet wipe my wife on the contrary always has the same face she didn't like it needless to say well I haven't seen mother-in-law without makeup but my husband said it's not a pleasant view before we even got engaged we knew she was never going to be invited to our wedding but dreaded having that conversation with extended family and dear husband's siblings as some of them are still close with mother-in-law so after we got engaged we decided we'd be happiest if we eloped and we wouldn't have to worry about any family or planning we slowly started announcing to friends and family that we were engaged but never told mother-in-law as we are no contact we thought she'd find out through dear husband's siblings who knew and expected to get a text alluding to our engagement that we never received one and we just honestly forgot about her we eloped in a beautiful national park in the middle of the week then left the country for our eight-day honeymoon when we got back home dear husband saw he missed a call from his mom and she left a message which she has not done in a long time apparently someone saw a couple of wedding pictures our photographer posted on her business page and told mother-in-law you all this is how she found out her son was not only engaged but also married turns out dear husband's siblings never told her we got engaged like we assumed they would remember how I said she never acknowledged me as his girlfriend in her voicemail she sounded quiet confused and sheepish saying Julie said she saw something on Facebook long pause did you and girlfriend have a long pause ceremony where she practically whispered the word ceremony like she didn't want anyone to hear she couldn't even say the word wedding or married and I have to tell you everyone it was one of the smuggest happiest feelings I have ever had all the years of crappy behavior and agony over going no contact finally felt like they might have been worth it just to hear the realization in her voice in that moment she has no place in her son's life she always seemed to wear that she was held at an arm's length away from him but I don't think she ever realized how little we cared about her until she realized we had been engaged for eight months and then got married without as much as a peep from us or anyone else in her family I want to be a better person than her and just a decent person all around but it felt good knowing we might have caused her just a fraction of the pain she has caused dear husband and I mother-in-law was living with us to help out with cooking and cleaning while hubby and I got used to being new parents mother-in-law had some odd behavior around my newborn son including being possessive of him we have some differences in child care philosophy mother-in-law wants to hold him up for cuddles a lot whereas I believe in picking him up only if I am NOT disturbing his sleep the latest incident I have a baby monitor which lets off a loud siren if it detects that the baby has been too still for some time ie may be suffocating I told mother-in-law that if the siren goes off she can feel free to go into my room to check on the baby as I might not be around to hear the siren the baby monitor also broadcasts any crying sounds I was in the darkened room with the baby when the baby started crying a lot I stood in front of his cot and leaned over in front of him with my phones torchlight trying to work out if his eyes were open mother-in-law burst into the room at this point and walked right up to the cot next to me and said I'm taking him downstairs I said no wait a bit I turned around to get the thermometer by then mother-in-law had picked him up I stood between them and the door and checked his forehead I turned around to put the thermometer away and then mother-in-law rushed away down the stairs she just took my baby I told hubby what happened hubby surprised me by talking to mother-in-law on my behalf and saying in a calm conversational tone you can't just snatch a baby from its mother mother-in-law said you never heard my side of the story Opie gave me permission to check on the baby if there were sounds on the baby monitor I'm not staying to help anymore I can either leave tomorrow or on the weekend what do you prefer hubby said tomorrow or the weekend are pretty much the same it's only a few days apart mother-in-law said ok I'm leaving tomorrow the next morning mother-in-law was true to her word she was also crying now hubby is crying - he says mother-in-law has always backed him but she just left and he feels like by being a good hubby standing up for me he was a bad son well now I'm crying too I've never seen hubby like this before I am a working professional in my mid-30s I went back to work full-time after a three-month maternity leave and I agreed to have my mother-in-law come stay with us in our small two-bedroom apartment for three months to look after the baby this is our first baby mother-in-law is from another country speaks no English while she was here she was helpful took care of the baby cooked cleaned not that we asked her to but she just did but she was very opinionated and judgmental about things like how I was dressing the baby my want for no blankets in the crib towards the end of the three months my husband said to his mother who was widowed said she wants to stay for another six to nine months with us because she doesn't trust daycares or nannies and wants to look after the baby herself she has retired and widowed and I gathered quite lonely in her home country I said no to this saying I would rather hire a nanny and she is welcome to come back at any time as a visitor this set off a toxic stream of drama and her crying every day until she left I am trying to be civil but I know she is now bad-mouthing me to anyone who will listen how I don't know how to cook how I don't take the baby for a walk every day it's freezing here now how I am feeding him the wrong things and how I am choosing to pay thousands of dollars to entrust him with a complete stranger she is still bawling on the phone every time we call her or FaceTime she also refused the entire time she was here to address my son by his name but only called him my husband's name I guess I am just venting and asking if anyone else here would have agreed to have her stay for many more months to look after the baby my mother-in-law is a hoarder it's not TLC level but she doesn't care about living in filth there's a layer of grime and filth on her kitchen floor bird poop on the kitchen counter since she refuses to get windows for the first floor and random junk on the table in the dining room it's also hard to navigate the first floor when she comes back from one of her trips and just leaves her stuff laying around for months when I visit her house sometimes I will wash the dishes and wipe and clean the kitchen counter so I can cook without feeling disgusted mother-in-law leaves the dishes to soak for a week or more and often I found rotting food in the sink I've cleaned that sink multiple times but mother-in-law never cares about the upkeep last Sunday I cooked lunch with Esso in mother-in-law's kitchen once again I had cleaned the counter I was doing the dishes and I was completely done with the dishes that we had used for lunched and other dishes that she had left there throughout the week there were five dishes and ten forks left Esso asked me to go upstairs and wait for him there I did just that and mother-in-law started to talk crap about me when I left she said to s Oh what kind of person doesn't finish washing the dishes I will talk to your grandma about this s Oh lost it on her he said she cleans a lot of stuff here when she doesn't have to she's a guest and she's not responsible for your filthy habits mother-in-law repeated the same argument Essos scolded her for having nasty habits and then he went after me mother and lost family is from another country I only met them once and they don't like me much these days and I think I found out why yesterday she admitted she will tell on me to Grandma Allah and I wonder what other stuff she has said during these last years my relationship with mother-in-law is casual and distant I will let Esso handle his mother since I know he always looks out for me still lady I am NOT one of your children why are you telling on me to someone else shame me your own parents can barely stand you [Music]

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Keywords: askreddit, r/askreddit, reddit, askwomen, askreddit girls, reddit women, reddit girls, askreddit real voice, reddit stories, justnomil, r/aita, r/tifu, reddit mother in law, reddit mil, reddit worst mother in law, reddit family, reddit family drama, reddit marriage

Id: caqNEJTwp1g

Length: 19min 36sec (1176 seconds)

Published: Fri Jul 10 2020