Mother In Law Took My Baby Away At NIGHT For A Secret Sleepover At Grandma's & Demands I THANK HER

people how do you deal with your horrible mother-in-law so a little backstory my husband is an only child his mom has always been very involved we got along somewhat but she always sort of crossed some lines she has a key to our house for emergency purposes only because she lives four blocks away i had our daughter four weeks ago she has been over at least three days every week since i've had her she's always telling me what i am doing wrong and how she do things so differently baby is up every two hours at night and she insists she'd sleep through the night if she could stay at grandma's i told her i'm not comfortable sending a breastfeeding baby away overnight at four weeks this last week she kept pushing the issue no matter how many times i said no last night we put the baby in her crib we stopped room sharing because the baby was so loud i could get no sleep whatsoever so my husband has been getting her when it's time for her to feed husband fell asleep early and i dozed off i woke up four hours later and started to panic because she hadn't made any noise i was sure she had died of sids i went into her room and she was gone i froze and started screaming her name around the house like she would somehow pop out like it was all a joke my husband woke up in a panic and just screamed what's going on over and over i ran to my phone to call 9-1-1 and saw a picture message from my mother-in-law of my sleeping baby in her arms with the caption sleepover at gam gams i was immediately enraged i screamed so hard i almost threw up i called her and saw red i told her i was coming to get the baby and she would never see her again and to never contact our family again my husband decided it was best if he went to get her when he came back he said his mother decides to let herself in and give us a break that she was sure we'd hear the text and she thought we would be thanking her for a night's sleep i do not care i hate her i cannot forgive her for this my husband thinks i need to calm down that we just need to get our key back his lack of urgency about the situation makes me want to divorce him we never had any issues before this but this feels like a deal breaker to me i already had postpartum anxiety and now it's through the roof i don't feel safe in my own home with my family i hate my mother-in-law i hate my husband when i think about what happened i sob uncontrollably i can't sleep now that i know that i can't protect my baby when i sleep i can't believe i did not wake up i feel like the biggest piece of crap mother if any danger really came i would have let my daughter down am i overreacting for wanting a divorce or for never wanting to see my mother-in-law again my husband and mother-in-law think it's my hormones and i have overreacted am i overreacting i just needed to talk about it with non-involved parties i have no friends or family for hundreds of miles oh and she also fed her formula while she had her but that's the least of my worries it still infuriates me because breastfeeding has been really hard for us update i just wanted to give everyone a quick update i didn't respond but i've read every comment and the support i got has meant so much to me i balled reading them because i finally felt like someone was on my side i called my mom late last night and i got a hotel i refused to tell my husband where i was going but told him the baby and i would be safe my mom is disgusted about what i've been through she's getting on a plane today to come help me this entire experience has pushed me to the point that i need therapy so today my first order of business is getting a therapist set up as soon as possible i decided to go alone for a while and when i'm ready go with my husband to see if there's a chance to move past this right now i still don't want to but i also agree i'm not in the place to make life-changing decisions either way i can never move back into that house i don't know what my plan is past these next few days yet but i'm just going to take it day by day as of right now as for my mother-in-law i'm going to go to the police today to find out how to get a restraining order her and my husband keeps saying but she was safe she was never in danger i disagree my mother-in-law is clearly not mentally capable to care for a child who knows what else she would do because she feels she knows best this happened last year when i was pregnant mother-in-law insisted on doing a family holiday together and it only happened because my husband begged his brothers to go my older brother-in-law wasn't too keen since his relationship with his parents is pretty cold thanks to how horrible they were to his wife as for my younger brother-in-law he hates traveling so much that when he told me he was glad his brother found a wife who also enjoyed traveling all three brothers would do anything for each other though so that was how the family trip happened as you can guess it was quite a painful trip to the point where i would never travel with my in-laws again even if they offered to pay for us to fly suites and stay only in hotels with lei's cleft door concierge mother-in-law care so much about appearances you'd think she believes she's on the truman show so everything has to be perfect leading to her going hysterical at every little thing especially since the rest of the family wasn't in on the fake happy family script for the first time in over a decade mother and father-in-law slept in the same room as if they're happily married that went great mother-in-law had to keep bringing up how many indian friends she had zero to sister-in-law to prove how totally not closed-minded she was i was cracking under pregnancy hormones making my mother-in-law's non-stop passive-aggressive suggestions extra annoying at this point i still thought i had a chance to stop her from renovating my apartment against my permission mother-in-law wanted me to believe the trip was going great though because wouldn't it be so fun to do this again next year my mother-in-law likes to see herself as a submissive christian wife so she would never deign to impose her opinions on a man she just passively aggressively hints while i try not to snap back because i'd seem crazy japan is so beautiful in winter japan is such a baby-friendly country japan has some of the best baby stuff babies look so cute all bundled up for winter like fluffy snowballs nothing feels better than dipping in an onsen in winter don't stress out about not being able to handle the baby grandparents are there for a reason you two can always have fun as a couple while grandma and the baby do the boring touristy things wait so now it's just her third wheeling r trip now my husband is extremely oblivious and doesn't do hints this time somehow all the hints penetrated his brain while my mother-in-law was forcing me into a side conversation as usual she believes us women should not interrupt the men's conversation my husband snuggled against me and excitedly gushed babe wouldn't it be nice to spend next christmas in japan it's so baby friendly and they have the best baby stuff and think of how cute our baby would look all bundled up for the winter she'll be a puffy ball and it'll be so cute you love onsens and onsens are even more amazing in winter i can watch the baby while you head to the onsen oh just leave the baby with grandma my mother-in-law piped in gleefully my husband shot her a weird look and asked why would you be there it's a family trip my mother-in-law started sputtering and looked at me for support at that moment a christmas miracle happened i discovered jesus and morphed into a submissive stepford housewife of my mother-in-law's wettest dream i looked adoringly at my husband and went whatever you want babe you know these things best i have three kids two girls and a boy i'm ethnically culturally jewish religiously atheist that's super curly jewish hair the kind that can form a juice row runs in my family although i have wavy unless it's humid then it's curly hair my three-year-old daughter daughter too has hair like mine wavy my five-year-old daughter daughter one inherited the super curly hair fortunately i already knew everything i needed to know about caring for curly hair because my mom and sister have it my mother-in-law has been making comments about my older daughter's hair recently mostly asking if she can brush it i told her nope i comb it she doesn't need to brush it my mother-in-law is not allowed to be around the kids unsupervised she's prone to weird behavior and temper tantrums slash rages but just to be safe i told my daughter if grandma asks to brush your hair tell her no thanks and come tell me my daughter said oh i know that mama i know not to let grandma touch my hair no way she's a perceptive kid last week we had a big family gathering and during the commotion my five-year-old comes up to me and tells me that grandma got a brush and told her to come with her so she could brush her hair i was livid i pulled my mother-in-law aside and hissed at her i've told you over and over again not to touch her hair do not touch her hair do you understand but it's just so pretty i just want the chance to brush it you can't brush it i tell her you can't treat curly hair like straight hair you have to comb it out and you have to use the right products it's not that easy that's why i told you to just not touch it well i don't think you do comb it often enough daughter two's hair is always done up pretty and neat and you leave poor daughter one looking ragged it's not right just because daughters one hair is black and daughter's two is red is that why you do that because you don't think daughters one hair is as nice to look at and play with well i think it is i just lost my crab the woman says a lot of stupid things and frankly i have heard worse from her but this just really got to me i think maybe like a lot of parents i carry some secret guilt about whether i treat my children equally and her accusation just triggered something in me get out i yelled get out of my house not my best moment my husband came swooping in and said okay okay mom i think you should leave oh my mother-in-law said i see how it is i'm just horrible aren't i i'm just messing up again i can't do anything right well i'm leaving i'm going home and you can all go to hell and she stormed out i told my husband the whole story later and he picked up on something i hadn't with a lot of anguish he said he didn't want his mom around planting seeds in our kids heads that we care more about one of them than the others that she did the same crap with him and his sister that maybe it is time to cut her out of his life my husband and his sister have been talking about going no contact with his mom for years he spent a lot of time on the phone with his sister who was the golden child growing up but now hates his mom more than he does talking it over it looks like they may actually do this i should be excited i guess but my stomach is a nod of anxiety i think i don't like the idea of the event that finally triggers this being a fight between me and her it makes me feel more responsible and it's just a big step to take i haven't told my husband about the anxiety not i've just been very supportive of what he's thinking i gave birth to my first child about six weeks ago a perfect little boy i'm over the moon my mother-in-law has caused a lot of grief over our marriage but things have been so much better since we moved across the country two years ago however she still managed to cause some trouble throughout my pregnancy she threw an absolute fit several times first when i told her she wasn't going to be in the delivery room it was just my husband and me second when i told her she couldn't travel out here and stay for a month before and after the baby was born and third when i told her she couldn't stay in our tiny house right after i got out of the hospital i offered to get her a hotel close by or to let her stay in my house after about a month so i could heal and get used to breastfeeding i thought that was exceedingly generous on my part but she called my husband multiple times a day scream crying he would hang up on her and badmouthing us to all of his relatives and on facebook ultimately she decided to wait a month to come meet baby and stay in our house she's here now she's actually been fairly well behaved with the small exceptions of refusing to speak english a language she's spoken almost exclusively for the past 20 years because she knows my spanish is really bad and whispering insults about me to the baby in spanish when my husband leaves the room she pretends to have no idea what i'm talking about when i call her out on it but it's mostly funny and pathetic so i let it go the great news is for whatever reason my infant son can't stand her it's truly amazing he's usually so chill but every time she picks him up he starts fussing she says over and over again el tien hombre he is hungry and i get to smugly tell her that he just ate she'll pass him over to me and he calms down instantly she gets so frustrated and i love it i truly don't know why my tiny baby hates her he must just have excellent taste it's making me feel so good not just because it makes my mother-in-law upset but because i'm happy i'm able to soothe my baby this motherhood thing is no joke and i often feel like my head is barely above water but if my tiny baby finds instant comfort in my arms i must be doing something right sorry if this is all over the place i just have so many stories bottled up about my horrible in-laws and i'm letting them out slowly so flashback to december 2010 i was eight months pregnant and i had been having some complications the last couple of weeks of my pregnancy i went in for a routine checkup and dear husband had taken the day off from work because his sister was getting married that day the appointment was early in the morning and as we were there they decided to admit me to the hospital and they basically said we were having our daughter that same day or the following morning just now sister-in-law got angry when dear husband let her know that we weren't going to be able to make it to the wedding by the way it wasn't a big wedding or anything they got married at one of those small chapels and had a party in their aunt's backyard she then tells just no mother-in-law and father-in-law and they both proceed to try to convince him to at least attend the ceremony obviously dear husband wasn't about to leave my side they were all so offended because how could he miss out on his sister's big day just now mother-in-law didn't even bother to show up to the hospital until two days after dear daughter was born and she only showed up to complain about what we had decided to name her she even had the nerve to say she wouldn't call her by the name we had given her and call her by the name she had decided on i had a c-section and since dear daughter was born a month early she had to be in the nicu the nicu at the hospital was very strict and allowed us to make a permanent list of four people who would be able to visit dear daughter we decided to add my parents my older sister i have two sisters and his mom adding her on there wasn't easy for me since she had been awful to me since the day i met her but i went ahead and did it for the sake of dear husband and daughter well just no mother-in-law decided to find it offensive that we didn't add her boyfriend a horrible man who has been nothing but terrible to dear husband to the list instead of my sister because of this she only visited dear daughter in the hospital one day out of the two weeks she was there i was so upset because i could have added my other sister to the list instead of her i was over for the holidays and she brought me up to the spare bedroom and she had a whole stupid nursery already set up crib bassinet clothes blankets etc i was like what that's weird this isn't your child why are you going crazy buying all of this i said realistically how often do you think the baby is gonna be sleeping over here she said i'd like him to sleep over once a week no my child is not sleeping over once a week so i tell her um no my child will not be sleeping over once a week maybe once a month if we want a night to ourselves and if my mom can't watch him she and my sister-in-law were not happy sister-in-law goes oh no i think it would be good if the baby sleeps over here a lot so-and-so's baby sleeps over at their grandma's and i was incredibly firm in stating that under no conditions will i be allowing my child to be sleeping away from home once a week especially not when he's that young i was just so baffled that they would go out and buy all of these baby items and have this idea in their head without consulting me or dear husband but if they want to spend hundreds of dollars for it to not be used then that's their problem i think they finally got the picture by the end of the conversation but i'm still furious about it my mom knows that i am child free we've talked in depth about it and apart from the random comments like i don't know if any of my kids will ever kids i would like to be a grandmother she's pretty understanding my mom is also a passionate christian i was on the phone with her over the weekend telling her that my mother-in-law keeps bringing up kids oh you guys need a bigger house for when you have kids i saw the house you guys were looking at it's big you guys could fill it with children i understand why you'd want to move to somewhere with better school systems especially when you start having kids etc my mother-in-law is also a christian my mom says just to quote this to her blessed are the barren and the wombs that never bore and the breasts that never nursed luke chapter 23 verse 29 i don't know the bible very well but i think it's hardcore that my mom just gave me the ultimate comeback to be fruitful and multiply happy tuesday everyone you

Channel: ASK GURL

Views: 73,755

Rating: 4.9191918 out of 5

Keywords: askreddit, r/askreddit, reddit, askwomen, reddit women, askreddit real voice, reddit stories, justnomil, r/aita, r/tifu, reddit mother in law, reddit mil, reddit mill took baby, reddit mil secret, reddit baby, reddit spinless husband, reeddit mammas boy, reddit mother in law husband, reddit relationship, reddit just no mil, reddit aita

Id: bPnA-K_evVE

Length: 18min 17sec (1097 seconds)

Published: Tue Nov 17 2020