Eating a Burrito Bowl Every Day Was a Bad Idea - Jaboukie Young-White - Unmic’d

I ended up having diarrhea and that was my reward for being a good person after eating Chipotle for three days straight I'm Djiboutian white I was in college and I've been doing stand-up for like two years I was accepted into a stand up festival that was in st. Louis I only have 40 something dollars in my bank account and I was like okay so I'll go on mega bus and then just eat burrito bowls every day that I'm in st. Louis I'm doing it I'm on the road I'm so hungry so poor Mark Maret bill burr Dave Chappelle I'm in a long legacy of men treating their bodies like [ __ ] while they're on the road I get to st. Louis eat that first burrito bowl and I'm like wait wait wait I should ration this out eat one third now the performance goes well I'll reward myself with another 1/3 of a cold burrito bowl and then I'll have a cold burrito bowl when I go to sleep the first night did my material crush I'm gonna reward myself with the third of the cold burrito bowl I'm feeling triumph it next day I returned to the Chipotle and I'm like something is not sitting right within me am i hungry or am i sick from the burrito bowls do I just not eat or do I eat more burrito bowls it was a real so Freitas choice I noticed like next to me they were just a wallet sitting right there this is a sign you know the stand-up comedy gods have looked upon me and they're like let's help him out maybe I'll eat Red Lobster tonight I take the wallet and I like walk out like real smooth and I'm like okay cool but then I was like going through the wallet and it's really hard to steal someone's wallet when they have like hella cards and you can start fleshing out who they are as a person a frozen-yogurt rewards card a Dick's Sporting Goods card you probably like it's really excited for his lacrosse game or some [ __ ] if I turn it in then the comedy gods karma will smile on me even more and I'll get a bigger reward so I've been like doing the final set and I'm on stage like trying like not to faint because my blood sugar is like low I'm lightweight anemic I'm trying not to like pass out I think in my head I was like crushing but when I looked out to the faces I was like why aren't you guys laughing this is so good I was probably just like slurring my way through that entire set so this is my first time in st. Louis and man am i arms tired and then I lost the competition and ended up having diarrhea the reward to that festival was playing clubs with this one dude I honestly think the whole thing was like that guy just doing like a bachelor style comedy competition for like a friend and I'm kind of thankful that I didn't get it because I don't know if I'm trying to do the chuckle hut in Anchorage Alaska with some dude that I literally just met while I was trying to clench my ass tight enough for me not to [ __ ] on myself that doesn't seem like a good foundation for a relationship so I think the comedy gods were looking out for me after all [Music]

Channel: Comedy Central Stand-Up

Views: 236,538

Rating: 4.8642488 out of 5

Keywords: Jaboukie Young White, Jaboukie, Unmic’d, Jaboukie Young White comedian, Jaboukie Young White stand up, stand up comedy, comedy central stand up, comedy, comedians, comedian, interview, behind the scenes, burrito bowl, tour, touring, on the road, St. Louis, stand up competition, comedy gods, Chipotle, wallet, bombing, funny, funny video, comedy videos, jokes, funny jokes, funny clips, laugh, humor, best comedy, best stand up

Id: wYvumFKdn34

Length: 3min 36sec (216 seconds)

Published: Tue Oct 15 2019