Knowing You’re Gay Before Knowing You’re Asian - Joel Kim Booster

it's pretty cool my life is going pretty well though I have to say earlier this year something pretty major happened for me I became an uncle for the first time which is pretty cool thank you so much I had nothing to do with it but cool um I'll take the congratulations yeah I became an uncle and that's really cool I'm really excited less cool I have a very religious family and there were many people in my family who are concerned about me being around the baby because I am gay I know which is sort of ridiculous because it's like nobody in my family has seen any of the guys that I've [ __ ] cuz I can do so much better than some [ __ ] baby ok what I'm working with here that baby wishes alright my sister's baby should be so lucky at the end of the day my family is very very Christian they're very evangelical Southern Baptist Christians they're so Christian that they homeschooled me until I was 16 years old because they did not want me learning about sex or evolution and I was like a fun fringe benefit of that now I don't know about States either which is pretty cool just never knowing where I am you know I recently truthfully had to ask a friend what is Oklahoma you know because it seems sort of unclear yeah so not a lot of practical knowledge going on up here in the old noggin but to sort of offset that I am a nationally ranked Bible Quiz er which is pretty cool that's a thing ok got some weirdos in the audience too right so I know a lot about that but sort of on the flip side of that coin I've never used a condom you know so it is a trade off most of my family is from the south actually yeah I left the south they're great they're great my mom is a real southern lady she's one of these ladies who thinks that our generation well we got too many participation trophies and that's why we are the way we are you know gay that's what she pins that on but uh weirdly my mom is also one of these people who's like oh no no you cannot take that robert e lee statue down for my college campus nam i am and it's like but mom like those statues are history's greatest participation trophies you know Hank y'all lost the statue okay it was actually I was actually adopted hence why my mom sounds like Foghorn Leghorn I know some of you were confused like something does not fit yeah I was adopted from South Korea South Korea for those of you you might know this it was the only country in the 80s that would fly a baby to the US you did not have to go and pick it up so in many ways it was like the GrubHub of babies you know they would just buy a baby straight to your door no hassles no fees it was great but um yeah so it was an interesting thing for me growing up with this face in an all-white family in an all-white town like I fully knew I was gay before I knew I was Asian that's sad but true fact about me it was a quite the rude awakening when I finally found out I have to tell you it was tough but it's even tougher for me now because I I don't meet a lot of like cultural expectations of what an Asian person should be in this country you know like I'm terrible at math I don't know karate my dick is huge you know so just like oh God just constantly disappointing white people you know I actually don't know if it's that big or not because every time I look at it it's pixelated so sort of anybody's guess at that point okay so if you didn't laugh at that joke be glad okay that means you're pure of heart in mind the rest of you shame shame we'll come back to that I am a terrible driver though so that might be genetic I've totaled three cars but actually you guys I think that has more to do with being gay and sleeping with men than it does have to do with being Asian and anybody who sleeps with men in here you might be able to back me up on this something about being lied to my entire sexual life about what six inches looks like now my depth perception is [ __ ] you know like I can't parallel park bumper-to-bumper traffic is a disaster for me how big is this microphone she's I don't know you know I just have so many sample sizes to choose from it's really tough so obviously as Christian as my parents are they did not take it super well when I came out of the closet mostly because I did not come out of the closet they read my journal when I was 17 and yes gasp is right it was rough because at that point in my life my journal was us of like an introspective thoughts and dreams journal and more of just a BuzzFeed list of guys dicks I was sucking you know like no content to sift through just straight to the headlines it was clickbait for my parents they couldn't resist they had to see it it was tough for them but what's even funnier so I mentioned I was adopted I have two adopted siblings their biological to my mom and dad and I have an older brother and a couple of years ago he also came out of the closet which is like you know I couldn't have planned a better prank you know like that oh [ __ ] them good Jesus I can't oh it's so funny it's so delicious to me because my parents they really like they truly rolled the dice there you know like they made one themselves they got one off the rack and they both turned out gay you know like I don't know what the scientific argument is there but that feels like nurture [ __ ] okay what's going on there bet you wish you didn't vaccinate us now Mom and Dad huh do you want two sons of that polio or two straight sons you can't have it all all right you gotta give some stuff up now again I am just joking I love vaccines okay I can't get it up every time a new one comes out I'm just like you know my poor dad oh goodness he's been through the wringer it was really hard for him my dad is sort of like an amateur pastor in a lot of ways like we didn't go to a church growing up we had Church at home led by my dad and oh my god yes now that I'm saying I was in a cult that's what that is it's not a church at all yeah he had a real rough time with me growing up I was a real [ __ ] kid I was difficult to raise I remember when I was 13 we had a fight that was so outrageous that my dad tried to exorcise me in the middle of the fight and when I realized what he was doing I just started to laugh maniacally in his face which in hindsight did not help my case you know that seems like something a demon might do in that situation I might as well just crap walked across the living room floor spinning my head around spewing puke everywhere you know like

Channel: Comedy Central Stand-Up

Views: 5,398,402

Rating: 4.8828812 out of 5

Keywords: Joel Kim Booster, Comedy Central Stand-Up Presents, Joel Kim Booster comedian, Joel Kim Booster stand up, stand up comedy, comedy central stand up, comedy, comedians, uncle, family, religious, gay, homophobia, LGBT, Christian, home school, states, Bible, quiz, Civil War, participation trophy, the South, adoption, Asian, Korean, racism, stereotypes, penis, dick, car accident, blowjob, funny, funny video, comedy videos, jokes, funny jokes, funny clips, laugh, humor, best comedy, best stand up

Id: IzYJCqD117A

Length: 7min 16sec (436 seconds)

Published: Tue Nov 27 2018

Reddit Comments

[u/[deleted]]

Hes not bad, i like how natural he is. He plays on the same themes but tells them differently.

[u/zenobe_enro]

Plus a more recent set he did just last week.

[u/[deleted]]

Disagree. I'm pretty bored of cheap joke about stereotypes.

[u/popsiclesky]

Yes, more love for JKB!

those statues are history's greatest participation trophies

hahaha.

​

[u/deathbycollege]

Love him! He’s got such great delivery

[u/lewdmoo]

Gengoroh Tagame