Drug Company Hearing - SNL

>>> ALL RIGHT, THANK YOU FOR AGREEING TO DO THIS, THIS HEARING. BOTH OF YOU UNDERSTAND THAT THE DECISIONS MADE TODAY ARE LEGALLY BINDING? >> YES. >> YES. >> YES, SIR. >> GREAT. MRS. WILLIAMS, YOU ARE FILING A CLAIM AGAINST YOUR FORMER EMPLOYER, MERCK PHARMACEUTICALS WHERE YOU WORKED FOR THE PAST 22 YEARS. >> YES, SIR. I'M SUING FOR INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY THEFT BECAUSE THEY'VE STOLEN MANY OF MY IDEAS, AND I AM ASKING FOR $20 MILLION IN DAMAGES. >> THAT'S RIDICULOUS. MRS. WILLIAMS WORKED IN ACCOUNTING. NO ONE THERE IS RESPONSIBLE FOR IDEAS. >> SIR, LET ME GIVE YOU AN EXAMPLE. IN DECEMBER, 2004, THIS COMPANY CREATED A DRUG CALLED SEASONIQUE. WELL, BACK IN 1997, I HAD A CHILD. SAY HELLO TO SEASONIQUE. [ LAUGHTER ] >> HELLO. >> YOUR NAME IS SEASONIQUE. >> YES, SIR. MY BIRTH NAME IS SEASONIQUE BONIVA WILLIAMS. [ LAUGHTER ] >> THAT'S RIGHT. SEASONIQUE WAS BORN ON THE ONE SPECIAL DAY BETWEEN SPRING AND SUMMER. [ LAUGHTER ] SHE WAS SEASONIQUE. AND THAT IS NOT THE ONLY EXAMPLE. THIS COMPANY HAS STOLEN DOZENS OF NAMES, NAMED DOZENS OF DRUGS AFTER MEMBERS OF MY FAMILY. >> UH, MRS. WILLIAMS -- >> PLEASE CALL ME LYRICA. [ LAUGHTER ] THAT'S MY NAME, BUT ALSO AN ANTI-EPILEPSY DRUG. >> THAT'S CERTAINLY INTERESTING. >> PLEASE, WE HAVE A TEAM THAT NAMES OUR PRODUCTS ACCORDING TO YEARS OF RESEARCH. THIS IS CLEARLY A COINCIDENCE. >> OH, REALLY? LET'S LOOK AT SOME OTHER EXAMPLES, SHALL WE? CELEXA. >> THAT'S MY COUSIN. [ LAUGHTER ] >> FEMARA. [ LAUGHTER ] >> MY OTHER COUSIN. [ LAUGHTER ] >> ELIQUIS, SHE LIVES DOWN THE WAY. >> OVER THERE. >> CYMBALTA. >> SHE IS TROUBLE, BUT SHE'S FUN. >> MM-HMM. [ LAUGHTER ] >> ALLEGRA. NOW SHE DOES MY HAIR, NOW SHE DON'T HAVE A SHOP, SO I GO TO HER HOUSE WHERE SHE HAS A LITTLE BABY NAMED LITTLE NICORETTE. [ LAUGHTER ] SO YOU SEE, SIR, THESE PEOPLE AREN'T COMING UP WITH NEW DRUG NAMES. THEY'RE JUST FLIPPING THROUGH THE CONTACTS OF MY PHONE. >> THERE DOES APPEAR TO BE EVIDENCE HERE. >> SIR, THIS IS JUST PAYBACK. MRS. WILLIAMS WAS RECENTLY LAID OFF FROM MERCK, AND SHE'S LOOKING FOR RETRIBUTION. >> YOU THINK SO? WELL, LET ME BRING IN ONE OF MY CO-WORKERS, WHO'S STILL -- IS EMPLOYED THERE TODAY. COME ON IN. >> UH, AND YOU ARE? >> LUNESTRA. [ LAUGHTER ] LUNESTRA CRESTOR HARRISON. [ LAUGHTER ] AND I WORKED AT MERCK FOR 11 YEARS. BACK IN 2009, I FELL ASLEEP ON MY COMPUTER KEYBOARD, AND TWO WEEKS LATER THIS COMPANY CAME OUT WITH A SLEEP AID CALLED LUNESTRA. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] THIS COMPANY HAS TAKEN THE NAMES OF SO MANY PEOPLE IN OUR NEIGHBORHOOD, INCLUDING MY SISTER, PROPECIA. [ LAUGHTER ] >> OR MY NEPHEW, DAYQUIL. >> WELL, I HAVE TO SAY THAT SEEMS MORE THAN CIRCUMSTANTIAL. >> PERHAPS. BUT EVEN IF IT WAS, THERE'S JUST NO PROOF HAVING THE SAME NAMES AS THE DRUGS HAS CAUSED THE WOMEN ANY HARM. >> REALLY? YOU THINK IT IS NICE TO BE ASSOCIATED WITH HIGH CHOLESTEROL AND ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION? [ LAUGHTER ] >> NO, IT'S TERRIBLE! I'M SORRY. [ LAUGHTER ] >> SEE? HE KNOWS THIS IS THE BIGGEST CORPORATE INJUSTICE SINCE MY AUNT, ACTIVIA, WORKED AT THIS YOGURT COMPANY. [ LAUGHTER ] >> IT IS A TRAVESTY. OH, OH, I AM SORRY SIR. I'M HAVING A LITTLE EPISODE. I NEED MY HUMIRA. >> OH, THAT'S FINE. CAN WE GET YOU A CLASS OF WATER? >> NO, HUMIRA ITS MY EMOTIONAL SUPPORT DOG. SHE ALWAYS CALMS ME DOWN. [ LAUGHTER ] >> YOU EVEN STOLE HER DOG! [ LAUGHTER ] >> COME ON. >> OKAY, ALL RIGHT. I HAVE TO SAY THE EVIDENCE IS OVERWHELMING. >> OKAY. HER CLAIM HAS MERIT. I AM AWARDING HER THE FULL AMOUNT IN DAMAGES. THANK YOU ALL. >> SO WE GET THE MONEY. I CAN FINALLY PUT TYLENOL THROUGH COLLEGE. >> I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY STOLE THAT FROM YOU TOO.

Channel: Saturday Night Live

Views: 6,689,049

Rating: 4.8714733 out of 5

Keywords: SNL, Saturday Night Live, Season 42, Episode 1719, Octavia Spencer, Beck Bennett, Vanessa Bayer, Alex Moffat, Sasheer Zamata, Leslie Jones, live, new york, comedy, sketch, funny, hilarious, late night, host, music, guest, laugh, impersonation, episode 15, actress, author, Hidden Figures, The Help, Zootopia, Divergent, Father John Misty, Joshua Tillman, musician, songwriter, pure comedy, i love you honeybee, fear fun, real love baby

Id: UPx_X3DjXy8

Length: 3min 59sec (239 seconds)

Published: Sun Mar 05 2017

Reddit Comments

[u/justjoshingu]

we all know a girl named allegra.

i really wanted this to be funny

[u/CyrusonRed]

It was rolling until Jones bombed the "Octavia" joke.

[u/Spiffinit]

To be fair, I had more than one patient named Allegra.

[u/cleverlikeme]

Would have been a bit better if it was actually funny...

[u/jilliu5]

I once heard a girl named Trinessa...yikes