Dreamcatcher - Nostalgia Critic

[Music] [Music] Buhler hello I'm the Nostalgia Critic I remember it so you don't have to why what is this I'm getting anti religious commentary a hint of one dimensional villains and/or rednecks and they so saw of something really stupid trying to come across this Gary but instead coming across this really stupid it's Steven James hi [Music] sometimes I feel bad began this guy's worse work but his worst work is clearly having so much fun being his worst work that in the end and everybody's having a good time so let's keep the nostalgia wean tradition going by looking at his 2003 film the story where aliens come out of people's butts I'm a dreamcatcher I mean the story where aliens come out of people's butts yep this was the first book King rode after his nearly fatal car accident in 1999 does it show oh my god what King it's hard to tell this is the film everyone remembers specifically for one reason it has monsters that explode out of your ass because apparently there's nothing more terrifying than shitweasels you may laugh at me calling them that but that's the official term even the movie gives them what about the shitweasels King said in an interview that he want to do for the toilet what psycho did for the shower but I don't think you can do that when [ __ ] weasel is the name that's being thrown around what about the [ __ ] weasels so let's take a look at what obviously came out of somebody's ass come on King that joke was gift-wrapped by you this is dreamcatcher we open with every early 2000s credit sequence with blurry close-ups of things yeah you're every kid who laid his head on the desk and held as a racer to his eye as we see the director as the writer of The Empire Strikes Back in the force awakens and clearly he's still getting his no fetish on seriously is this a thing it starts with a psychiatrist named Henry who can read his patients minds because he's a psychic Wow not even a minute in and we have a trope that he uses all the time she called out to you from that big fancy oak bed how could you know what happened doesn't matter okay looking I know everybody has a style but there's only so many ways I can make jokes about you using the same cliches the Stephen King drinking game the Stephen King board game the trope raiser the dart board The Twilight Zone parody I know you're very comfortable doing the same thing over and over and over but I'm not for the most part do I really have to find a new way to make fun of your fear of originality hey where's this take place anyway and the board belongs to you Tamra which category would you like to choose let's do unexplained psychics for 200 you'll find children and/or adults can do literally beyond explain with their minds here Alka what does every Stephen King story ever written alright annoying long flashbacks for 400 that is the video Daily Double look boys from the pass being threatened by bullies has developed as wet cardboard Tamra what is every Stephen King story ever written correct let's do up for 600 an alcoholic of course of course an alcoholic jester what was the point of me being here though I'm so sorry the correct answer was what is every Stephen King story ever written oh I'm seriously asking what is the point of me being here you needed a third space to be filled can I still get this sandwich you promised me join us next time on Stephen King jeopardy which will be almost immediately so Henry uses his psychic powers to help paranoid people think they're even more paranoid very do you think this compulsive eating has something to do with thinking you killed your mother that you're eating yourself to death in my head leave me alone subtle use of your talent what happens to this guy create himself to death kill the world we've been cut to Jason Lee where he usually is after shooting a Chipmunks movie as he gives a call to his other psychic friend Jonesy played by Damian Lewis wanna talk now you're trying to get home to Carl and the kids what's up I'm waiting to be cast as Deadpool that's Ryan Reynolds who Jason Lee goddammit but Jonesy is suddenly inspired to do his best even King in prison if he didn't want people to talk about he won't have written that in there in fact it's kind of amazing how much this scene doesn't fit after being picked up by that year's winner of horse actress and an ambulance I think it's no good I think he's gone yeah I'd want to die after hearing that read - he spontaneously comes back to life and we cut to six months later where he seems perfectly fine what was the point of that it said later through some complicated King writing that because he technically died and came back this blocks off part of his mind from the alien he came back from it must have changed him somehow but while they just use the excuse that he psychic is the reason why it's a lot shorter and keeps the story more focused this doesn't add anything to anything except an excuse for me to play funny sound effects over it unless it somehow ties into that car being the love child of Christine and the Green Goblin truck from Maximum Overdrive in which case take all the time you need on that story there are no wrong choices there our four psychic friends meet up yearly in their cabin in the woods to be in their cabin in the woods I don't know I don't get camping near the movies when people wake up together in the morning they immediately start kissing nothing and going at it but what they never do is get up first take a leak and brush their goddamn teeth okay you do not get to make fun of other movie cliches if one of them was like Hayes do we talk about Stephen King cliches there before skeletons never heard from again I'm filing that in though gives you [ __ ] section of my memory warehouse what's the memory warehouse speaking of libraries of cliches they establish that everybody's mind has a memory warehouse obviously not a bad idea especially for a story about mind control it even has a spot for recycled sepia-tone memories some kids shirt so it's new scooby-doo that was important to know scooby-doo season for Casey Kasem was stole shaggy before the dark times at the scrappy years hey they see a mentally disabled boy named Douglas or as he says duddits being beaten up by boys you better watch it why is that I know who you are I'm trembling with fear so what do you think people will say when we tell them what we caught you doing call me crazy I just don't like seeing scenes of kids named Douglas getting beaten up give the word Henry it's Pete more no one can catch him it went straight to his house tell his mother you did why are you asking for trouble likes getting attention do you know he likes okay this isn't a debate over a new bill its bullies being bullies Weiss is taking so long you want to fight us yes why you lose why and on its own the world wants to leave said it will the senator yield so they save Toby Neil Patrick McGuire and singing to him this gets my magic potty baby to piss up a storm back in modern day they come across a hunter in the woods I'm hunting wabbits who seems to be ill so they take him inside hi Joe Clarendon call me beaver intentionally but our hunter seems to be having terrible gas coming out both ends again that doesn't seem particularly scary critic we've peed our pants isn't that mostly terrifying and kind of humorous oh it's mostly humor isn't kind of ridiculous it's complex it's stupid stupidly complex complexly stupid you just doesn't see how this can possibly be an alien invasion god help you with our snot gets infected too I'd like to see you try to find a humor in that you know sometimes I feel bad writing you two so dumb yeah what the hell man can you ever be smart well you could just be a series of catchphrases like Jason Lee for some reason that tried to give him one-liners that clearly wouldn't catch on but they try to hammer in anyway that's kind of embarrassing [ __ ] me Freddy ditch in a buzzsaw [ __ ] me Freddy crimen nedley's [ __ ] me Freddy [ __ ] is trying to [ __ ] a road kid my double [ __ ] Oh real Java Navas well-beloved dub dub rikki-tikki-tavi [ __ ] huh that's strange I don't remember those well I remember that you don't have to set our work here is done that really has got to catch on meanwhile the other two nearly crash into a lady just sitting in the middle of the road I guess it is funny hello hello I'll be a jump-scare for the evening oh sorry I have shotgun arm syndrome can't help it while the animals reenact Alaskan lion king a helicopter is seen flying overhead temporary quarantine you must stay where you are baby 20 plastic idea here yeah we can totally hear you you are smart but it looks like they're hunter pal is sicker than they realized go away open the door we have to break it down have some privacy let's do it I'm not all in absolutely positive I want to go in there she's dying scooby-doo we do we got some work to do now well now you said that I know you're serious I mean you'd have a stronger argument if you pointed out Flintstones we're a modern Stone Age family but nevertheless that's strong words do I meet George Jetson thunder thunder thundercats ducktales woohoo I got enough fella snap out of it oh my god Oh Tiny Toon Adventures so there seems to be an awful monster they can't flush down oh and an alien creature that Lee sits on to stop from getting out damn it ever seen Jason Lee so terrified what could be under there to scare him so much oh of course future squeak walls think of all the young guys make a deal with Pun title I'll rap music old Hulk Japan I'm gonna just sound cold holy chick and of course the Halloween special scare triplet we're coming for you Dave so while the chip weasel seems under control he no joke lets them out because he wanted his toothpick are you freaking kidding me all right I get that they're trying to hint at some sort of compulsion with him but even an OCD person wouldn't be like oh my god if I let go of this trigger a bomb will explode you know this could be a little bit more symmetrical but it gets even sillier now that the monsters out it leads to some pretty goofy stuff like fighting him off with a whele brush cutting his hand off and looking only slightly annoyed by it and even a 90s crotch shot I feel like Daniel Stern should do a girly cry from home alone the creature ends up killing him as we're shown Stephen King letdown alien number 905 who takes control of his body meanwhile we're introduced to two albino caterpillars with Morgan Freeman's face attached who points out that these alien creatures who infect the human body and have their young burst out in bloody ways it's a bit familiar the men call the red stuff Ripley after to draw in the Alien movies see what I did there that immediately doesn't make it a ripoff I learned my craft from the rocky and bullwinkle movie shut up Kelly step right yeah Freeman plays a guy who really knows his [ __ ] like making his soldiers give scouts honor only to shoot their fingers off that was nice it talks about tons of Neela's military information that honestly plays little to no part in anything I never picked terrain like this before so you know the blue unit catechism I hand-picked every man in blue boy group I know what rules are really good at operating they were visited the world they wouldn't rather home tell me how we do Ellen fast and hard - OH - disobeys our superiors orders yeah you know what this all leads to at one point Freeman tries to shoot our hero and he fails that's it so why are we listening to all this there's a difference of opinion about the Ripley who has an opinion three-star general Matheson when did you see him call man yesterday and what is the fault of opinion it's like dedicating a half-hour of Snow White to talk about the Queen's foreign policies and Social Affairs nobody gives a [ __ ] you fall off a cliff why are we stuck with this dueling pair of dr.wily mustaches what about the [ __ ] weasels oh yeah cuz he says that that kind makes it worth it but the lady from before also has an alien [ __ ] out her ass sorry King it'll always be funny as Peter tries to calm down by showing how well he can imitate Bill Paxton so goddamn good I can't believe he's human I knew you would hi the [ __ ] weasel wants revenge for attacking his head so he attacks his head in return these things always go for the twin I'll never sing better tell them again I'll show you how can you eat fried Munich uh no no man stands up immediately after that the correct response is unzip your fly and crawl around in the snow like a dog who has worms not that matters though is the possessed body of Jonesy it's about to meet up with it how do we know he's possessed well his head Chun's whenever he turns which goes really great with his hood sound effect yeah even this hood has a sound effect I swear to god I'm not adding this what are these he only is trying to be diabolical Mike wins lose and for no explained reason whatsoever he suddenly has an English accent what was that mr. Jones what we just lost on the road there oh my god I can tell just from that couple of seconds you have already earned your spot in the Hall of Fame of over the top Stephen King villains welcome to the lineup I don't need you to give me any more if I be so blessed if you do are you speaking to me yes I am mr. Jones or is it Jonesy that's what your friends call you isn't it let's be friends I guess having an alien take over your mind turns you into a drunk Simon pay I'm borrowing you we're going to take a little journey [ __ ] you I know what that expression means it makes no sense but it's amazing Pete I need you to get onto the snowmobile right now you sound like one of those Jeff bumps even in the memory warehouse Jonesy has partially blocked off that doesn't stop evil Eric Idle from knocking on his echoey door Let Me In what have you got in that part of your mind it'll just take me a while to find them think about letting me in it's the polite thing to do man Haley's got some good backup accompaniment you know this guy shaft is a mean mother I'm just talking about shaft weekend these extraterrestrials have an interesting way of doing things don't think guys hmm now Tamra is it me or do you guys seem a bit more British than usual I don't know what you mean we're just our normal American cells sure you haven't been taken over by aliens cuz it would just make too much sense yes okay well go back to doing whatever non-alien things you were doing okay under why crave mushy peas all the Sun you hey guys quick announcement I am going to be at Rhode Island comic-con this year November 11 to the 13th now this is kind of a big deal because if you look at the guest list they have big names like Stanley gal gadot Kate Beckinsale Alice Cooper LA huge names but not that many internet people I'm one of the few ones there so it's really important that you come and say hi and stuff like that of course the other guest but I definitely say hi to me because that will encourage them to see and get more internet people because there's not that many very if there are more because they've been released the whole guest list yet if there are more go see them too because we definitely want to encourage them to bring out more internet celebrities and I hear this is a phenomenal con so definitely come say hi would love to see you guys and hopefully I'll see you there take care you meanwhile Freeman takes the two moths tape to his eyebrows to the alien ship and tries to destroy we can get these male self destructing back off don't you love it in movies when the military never do as they're told because one in their history isn't ever hammer then they should follow orders disrespectful piece of [ __ ] get this while the alien part of Jonesy's mind is distracted Jonesy sneaks out and tries to pull all the information on duddits into the locked room with him okay open to a visual representation of the mind and how its being altered but um mental Jonesy has a limp what takes the mental alien so long to get to him he took over his mind pretty fast before why does the alien recognize where mental Jonesy is sometimes but not other times how our memories heavy or heavy enough to earn a grunt noise I mean does it make any sense to you guys no come on how come let me see inside your mind we can do cool whispering together damn why is it that whenever we see you trying to scare us through a door I've soaked up Oh your memories of the critics purge review and I know that you're deathly afraid of British people based on all those American movies where they play bad guys it's true I've absorbed everything from the movies you like I'm a little film brain and I'll get you and your little camera to time to thicken camera don't you don't fool me alien crumpet I'm gonna find a way to brexit out of here it's futile I've mastered the ability to control your mind and there is absolutely no escape excuse me stay scared hello hello hello hello hello hey now begin there yeah boy this advanced alien race sure is easy to do yeah you want to grab a bite up for tulips sounds good where are they how about connect with me one I don't like fur machines on you to fix you in the Lego set in my brain that's so Malcolm and Tamara another strange thing this film suddenly implements or wipes not that there's anything wrong with using him in a film but they literally come in an hour and a half into the movie there hasn't been one before and then suddenly they're all over the place maybe he knew the movie was going south so he wanted remind people they worked on Star Wars I keep expecting one of those wipes to reveal r2d2 [Music] so whoever gets caught in quarantine but he convinces Freeman's second-in-command that Freeman is nuts and going to kill everybody in the area the soldier agrees with him so he decides to break Henry out shred me down figure you read my mind get out of the way a perfectly valid point but Jonesy calls Henry through a phone in his mind and Henry answers his gun to talk Oh Jonesy oh my god where's he taking you Massachusetts he is it got it okay this is still a scary film right what's it ever meant to be scary because I started to look like a mix of Russian roulette and whose line is it anyway dang in there guilty Jonesy Jonesy Jonesy I can't hear you hello operator operator oh that's a lobby and you know this dude's just thinking oh my god I've killed us all I'm gonna be court-martialed for this loon and I doomed the human race you know Oh Pokemon gotta catch em all so they find out where duddits is who's now played by Donnie Wahlberg looking how hath the new kids on the block look right now and he tells his mom he needs to go stop an alien invasion she of course has no problem with this goodbye be good boy now go save the world and go score a touchdown but it turns out the gun has a tracking device because of course it does so Freeman chases after them and they pray that they can outrun him before their timp like nelson melts I'm not even sure why I used a helicopter my high brow is gonna follow me here fast enough again they're both trying to stop the aliens so this all seems pretty pointless but let's wait and see let's wait and see yeah it wasn't active alien Jonesy shows his true form and wants to contaminate the drinking water supply with alien sperm but thankfully duddits comes in to save the day we doing we are some more Padula weirdest cartoon tie-in ever he goes to fight the men in black bug and it's revealed why duddits was the way he was of course he wasn't alien all along do you think his mother knew that was she impregnated was he taken over by the alien did he show up in a basket like a 1920s cartoon now we'll never know because the alien is defeated the last bug is squashed and that's it either decide against an ending because I guess they figured we suffered enough um thanks this movie is all sorts of silly trying to somehow be taken seriously maybe Kings writing could have made some of these ideas work better in the book but as a film it's hilariously ridiculous the only real downside is how slow it is there's a lot of pointless talking slow moving scenes and long periods of black nothingness that offer nothing visually or comedic ly entertaining but it does still have evil British aliens crazy Morgan Freeman's and of course shitweasels if that sounds insane enough to tickle your funny bone then this definitely one to check out speaking of weird what's been up with you guys recently you look like a Canadian rap group it's time to begin a hostile takeover critic it's time for end of maniacs a bugger another British heritage you Chester [Music] of course Chester was an alien all along that's why he acted so strange that's why he was different from everyone else that was just an alien disguised as me I'm still really here oh you really think all of my mental problems is because I was an alien huh it's not like that no no I get it he can't be because of how I was born or my environment clearly being an alien explains it just as well no it's like if an ancient person walks by and I'm like whoa maybe he looks that way because he's an alien it's a perfectly a jury's it I hope I will be seen as more than just an excuse for your stereotype sir now if you'll excuse me I have serious work to do I'm the Nostalgia Critic and happy flushing [Music] coming next weakest the top 11 gravity falls episodes you demanded it we're giving it to you but you can see it now under vessels ad free early access just three dollars a month to see tons of people's videos early as well as a bunch of other extra features check it out and get the early scoop [Music] you [Music] scooby-do-be-do we got some work to do now hey Doug Walker here doing the charity shout out this one you probably heard of before hell you probably shop there before it's goodwill goodwill is North America's leading nonprofit provider of education training and career services for people with disadvantages as well as those with physical mental and emotional disabilities you see their shops everywhere you probably gone there before so you know where the money goes how many great people are out there that give donations and of course how effective it is 37 million people acts as goodwill services to advance their careers and manage their finances over three hundred twelve thousand people earned jobs with goodwills health forty-two thousand goodwill participants and employers earned credentials that can allow them to earn an additional fourteen point two billion dollars throughout their careers on top of that there's Goodwill Industries International which is a nonpartisan nonprofit organization they advocate for public policies that provide job training programs employment placement services and other local programs for people having a hard time finding employment they of course appreciate your donations but the great thing is you don't even have to do that you can just go to their store buy their stuff see all the incredible things that they got and at what great prices and clearly see how it's all going to a good cause you can see how they do it on their YouTube channel all the people they've helped out over the years all the jobs they've gotten it's a wonderful service that sometimes we take for granted but you can show your thanks by going to their site opening up your heart and helping those in need

Channel: Channel Awesome

Views: 2,276,043

Keywords: channel awesome, nostalgia critic, doug walker, movie, movies, film, dreamcatcher, dreamcatcher review, movie review, nostalgiaween, film review, halloween, halloween movie, stephen king, stephen king dreamcatcher, stephen king review

Id: HcLU12pxFGc

Length: 28min 20sec (1700 seconds)

Published: Wed Oct 12 2016

Reddit Comments

[u/hellgal]

Well, this movie also has its own weird version of the Mindscape as well, so Six Degrees of Gravity Falls?

[u/[deleted]]

And next week is the top 11 Gravity Falls episodes too! Something to look forward to.