Don't EVER Do These Things If You Go To Prison...(r/AskReddit)

serious ex-cons of Reddit what advice would you give people going to prison for the first time that people who haven't been might not be aware of I went to prison in the UK there were a couple of Americans in there and we talked about the differences there not many so maybe this might be of some help all the scary crap you hear about the roots and violence is mostly nonsense prison is mostly just a waste of time it is very boring so develop a plan to pass the time and that's your life until your sentence is up this is where the saying there are only two days you remember in prison the day you go in and the day you get out comes from because every day is like Groundhog Day you're just doing the same thing over and over when you settle into your routine the days will fly but time will drag when you're close to getting out on dealing with people inside always remember that they are likely pissed off because they are in prison not sleeping well and their life has probably gone to crap so give people their space it worked for me there are actually some fun things to look forward to everyone inside has a story to tell and you've got a lot of time to tell them so joking around and telling stories is pretty fun and a good way to pass the time don't try to be a supervillain the contacts and friends you make inside can make this a possibility focus on getting out and enjoying the rest of your life use the crappy days you have inside to pull you through the rough days outside the feeling you have when you get out is amazing but do realize it takes time to adjust don't f it up correctional officer here shocked to see such an accurate description of prison life clearly you've actually done time where I work the time is what the offender makes it if you come in wanting to join a gang get in fights and cause trouble that's what's going to happen if you come in - keep your nose clean do your time and maybe batter yourself a little that's what's going to happen we have plenty of offenders doing 20 years of super easy time playing softball reading and watching TV never even getting in a fight more likely than not you'll be fine if you're not an [ __ ] and can mind your own business most of the time people just want to do their time and go home the lifers and gang members are the ones that don't giver if never ever ever owe anyone anything no one in there is going to just do you a favor if you eat that honey bun I offered you venue F anomie people will run through your canteen and Jack everything before you can finish chewing up a duplex mind your own business don't share personal information with anyone tear our dresses off off your mail and destroy them cover up the phone pad we're putting in numbers mother suckers can and will terrorize your family on the outside for money or to influence your actions on the inside for their benefit be smart mind your own keep your head up and never owe anyone it'll be alright in time always past the hard part is being stuck with yourself I did eight months in the County Justice Center one not everyone is out to get you relax two don't relax too much people will take advantage of you three learn if you can I learned Spanish started learning Russian a little bit of a trade skill and enhanced my vocabulary 1 & 4 stay fairly low-key built not a hermit no one likes too much of a social butterfly do not whistle flush right when you poop as you don't want to stink up the room be low-key try not to get in debt with anybody it will hit you back twice as hard don't be mr. nice guy people will abuse that if you are in a bad jail you should poop with one leg out of your pants you don't want to get ambushed when your legs are trapped inside your pants so leave one leg out read books you are going to waste a lot of time doing nothing it's better to come out being educated then knowing every episode of The Deadliest Catch and Breaking Bad while fiction books can burn some time finding a subject that really interests you and actually learning is the best bet find intelligent people to talk to there are not many but there are some don't waste your time with bullcrap politics do not pick on the child molesters either some of these people are also murders meaning they have and killed children or adults or whatever some of them are doing many years and are sick of being mistreated I seen a child molester microwave Vaseline and then pour it on some young kids face because he was going around telling everyone he was a child molester some of the creeps surprise you and do some messed-up stuff edit I also seen a guy microwave and eat a seagull you might think the best idea is to find the biggest baddest mother sucker in there and square up tell him it's a bad idea and one that's been perpetuated by TV and movies that stuff will get you jumped or worse shanked see all those ripped dudes in the prison films it don't exist in fact there's a good chance there will be no weights there at all it's really easy to get fat in prison crappy food little to no rec time and the best way to pass the time is by sleeping learn how to use a word know and learn how to repeat it people will ask you to do some dumb stuff in prison people will ask for stuff for free people will try to scam you out of stuff if you're too nice your be plain and simple and people will take advantage of that you may have seen the comedy skit the Mexicans got on boots if you haven't look it up that's actually true if you see a large group of people all with boots on stuff is about to go down that being said stuff hardly ever goes down contrary to popular belief nobody actually likes fighting too much work most prisoners are lazy as heck and don't want to anything but piss away their time until they get to see the outside again don't mess with them nobody will mess with you unless you'll be that can't say no keep your space clean don't touch anyone else's stuff unless you ask first don't gamble if you don't know what you're doing or can't pay don't flush your toilet after lights-out and finally don't loudly drag your f and chair across the floor of the mess hall pick it up and carry it instead basically don't be an inconsiderate douche and you'll be fine o P what country are you in if you don't mind me asking California felon here some advice race is a big deal you generally with a car the whites blacks Mexicans were the others there are subgroups as well I decided to not roll with any group I don't believe that race creates any difference between people and I know how to defend myself I had to fight about 30 dudes because of this if you want your stay to be calm and peaceful just join a car and don't start crap with anyone if you want to be a man of principles good luck mind your own business that's the golden rule don't ever call anyone abhi ever I'm not racist this is just politics but don't share your food or anything for that matter with black people don't have a rack up drug gambling debts and most importantly don't ever divulge any type of information to the CEOs nothing whatsoever this includes things like who was involved in a fight even if you were right there and saw everything you will be labeled a snitch and be forced to lock it up which means you will be placed under protective custody the ultimate shame in prison and don't even get me started on the day-to-day procedures you have to follow each car has their own and it's a sort of militaristic regimen you have to adhere to or suffer a beating if you can't get with the program plus all the little rules you have to follow when it comes to showering and using the toilet and things like that you will always have eyes watching you privacy does not exist get to know your cellie you will spend most of your time together mine was seriously bitola got to know him and I knew when he was having a bad spell and could talk him through it all so anything you want can be gotten for you for a price you will quickly get into a routine of sleep work and eat I hated getting a day off from work it made the day longer I would say don't let anyone F with you I was only in jail for two months for an assault charge but people did try and mess with me and i bucked back i didn't start a fight or anything I just didn't back down if people in there know they can walk all over you than they will if you stand your ground you might actually gain a little respect with some people and make friends knowing someone has your back is a pretty good asset oh yeah and if you have a bunk mate that sleeps above or below you don't whack off saw this guy get his ass kicked because he wouldn't stop jerking it at night and was asked to stop but just continued to do it don't let anyone outside off gang members mess with you even in the slightest way if someone takes something from your dinner tray for example throw down and beat their asses the real predators in jail only look for weak victims show them you aren't weak and will defend yourself and you've got a shot also don't be generous with items from the commissary that's seen as a sign of weakness to having served some time here's a few tips I can share with you don't smile might sound extreme but trust me it isn't walking around with a smile on your face might piss off an inmate serving a longer sentence than you basically how they explained it was there's nothing here worth smiling about keep to yourself and you won't be bothered you might end up socializing with inmates in the end but don't approach people and just expect to start to convo ration your food breakfast lunch and supper are all served at the same times each day so it's always a smart idea to keep some food snacks in between each meal trust me being hungry in jail is the worst thing ration up but a trade et Cie just try and not go hungry one night I had to survive with nothing but mustard packages keep clean body odors might get you beat up seriously this dude came into camping and was wearing wet shoes and when he took them off it stunk up the whole place he was told to go shower and refused until he was physically threatened by other inmates Sharda Lee do your laundry when you're able to don't overuse your phone privileges there's other people waiting to make calls don't take your sweet-ass time each wing has the committee that is run by the inmates they hand out tasks and aren't basically there to keep order when the guards aren't there don't mess with them and you'll have nothing to worry about if there's a beef it needs to be brought up to them before any action is taken they decide what happens next don't go asking inmates what they're in for that's a very big no-no some might open up to you and spill the beans but don't ask let them be the one to tell you skiing around might label you as a narc snitch and that's something you don't want don't hate on the food trust me it might look smell and taste like crap then complaining about it will not fix anything and again will give the wrong impression to other inmates if you're able to buy cigarettes tobacco from the canteen dua tea even if you don't smoke it can be used as currency or to barter for goods and services speaking of canine make sure you have funds in your canteen account you don't want to go through a week or two without necessities don't make a huge deal when you finally get released just like the smiling thing mentioned earlier someone staying around longer than you might take it the wrong way and do something about it but the best tip I can give you is this stay the F out of jail [Music]

Channel: Reddit Addiction

Views: 264,860

Rating: 4.8806682 out of 5

Keywords: reddit addiction, askreddit, reddit funny stories, reddit stories, reddit viral, top reddit posts, askreddit top posts, r/askreddit, reddit ex prisoners, askreddit prison stories, what not to do in jail, reddit jail rules, reddit jail tips, prison tips reddit

Id: HVN1UWiY-Wk

Length: 12min 14sec (734 seconds)

Published: Sat Aug 24 2019