Don't Ask These STUPID Questions At The Mall! - (r/AskReddit)

our slash ass credit what is the dumbest question a customer has ever asked you I fight private jets once we were flying east early in the morning so the Sun was directly in our eyes a passenger was sitting directly behind us on the jump seat he leaned forward and asked is there any way we can just climb and get above the Sun no we could fly west to our destination but it will probably take a little bit longer can you photoshop some pictures for me sir this is a bookstore yeah but I see you have a computer right here oh my once while working at an eye doctors office a woman was upset because we were charging her to make new lenses with an updated prescription and asked why do you have to make new lenses just inject some more medicine in the ones I already got what a wondrous world that woman lives in I worked at REI a few years back large outdoor sporting goods co-op just in case you haven't heard of it and we sold bear spray pepper spray for bears a woman came in with her two kids one day and bought a canister because they were going camping she gets to the front door then comes back to the register as an afterthought and asks if she's supposed to just spray her kids from head to toe with it thank God she came back more of a story for context but still hilarious leader I was working at a car battery store when a customer came in with a receipt for a battery he had bought a couple weeks ago asking for a refund I asked him if he had the battery with him so that we could take the battery back andr fund him the money when he said no I don't have it anymore I put it in a car I just sold confused I replied you want us to refundable a battery that you don't have anymore he responds just as confused yeah well I don't have the battery anymore so why should I have to pay for it you need to refund me he did not leave the store happy that day edit to the naysayers from how he explained after that it seemed like the idea in his head was that the guy who owned the battery now should have to pay for it because it had our five-year service warranty but that somehow we had to figure it out with that guy how to get our money back I very briefly worked at a Wendy's sim years back and I was working the drive-through a woman ordered two meals one with a small drink and one with a large as I handed her the drinks she asked which one is the large fast-food restaurant one customer how fresh is your soda me army comes out of a box customer I guess I'll get water too customer can I get the cheeseburger no cheese me so a regular hamburger customer no a cheese burger no cheese gave them a regular hamburger in a cheeseburger wrapper worked at a fried chicken place lady calls and says that her daughter is going to order he daughter sounds about five years old and orders five hundred pieces of chicken I say ok laughing the mom gets on and asks how long I tell her that her daughter just ordered $1,000 dollars in food does she really want that the lady goes not screaming at me asking if I think her daughter is dumb Lisa you want 500 pieces of chicken my girl wants what she wants make it and stop making fun of her me it is going to be at least an hour and 1000 dollars her something about not making fun of her and her daughter and why do I think I am better than them to place the order she shows up ten minutes after looking for her chicken I explained to the manager about a call she freaked out when the cashier told her it was over $1000 the lady refused to tell us how much chicken she really wanted while the little girl stood there screaming she wanted five hundred chickens gas station Hey the bathroom door is locked can I get a key there's no key if it's locked there's someone in there how does it know how does what know what how does the bathroom know someone isn't there people people go in and then they lock the door while they're using it five second pause op edit this was a 20 25 year-old guy who wasn't obviously intoxicated what do you mean I can't bring my six-month-old baby into the nightclub this was few years back customer very chill guy called in saying he recently bought a new MacBook Pro and it's not working I asked him what happens when you press the power button he said I don't know where that is yes I understand I haven't paid my credit-card bill in three months but why can't I use my card because you haven't paid your bill in three months repeat worked on collections this would happen nearly every day but I'm in the restaurant now and they won't accept my card and that will continue to happen until you pay the minimum payment how much is that twenty-eight pounds I haven't got 28 pounds that's why I am using the credit card dummy yeah I'm the dummy my apologies I worked in a Heritage Park in Island and we had a group of Viking re-enactors in one weekend putting on a really good show of crafts games into trial this American sorry tourists came up and asked us do you guys have reservations for your Vikings like we do for our engines can you a rate that for me he wanted me to stir his apple juice technically his word choice was applicable I guess but WTF dude he had a straw ready in his hand and he could damn well have aerated that juice himself I admit it took me two seconds of staring at his serious face before I reached for a straw unwrapped it and stirred his drink I did it all without breaking eye contact with him and he was satisfied also I think about him now every time I stir or shake my chocolate milk to make it frothy edit it took me a couple of seconds before i aerated his juice because I was trying to understand what he meant but but I figured it out on my own customers screaming my new cars back wiper doesn't work we walk an outside look at back window me you don't have a back wiper blade I used to work a nighty and one of my Jobs was to support some of the security software we offer to customers we had a package for secure data transfers and people often had to call up to be taught how to use it I was helping a woman use the software over the phone and I had a remote assistance connection to her PC so I could see her scream me okay so find your name in the list of users huh I've found it what do I do now me right click your name and then choose login from the menu huh is it my right Oh yours working at a museum where the main attraction is the dinosaur exhibit we sell a lot of cheap products aimed at children and we sell a lot of them especially Dino eggs a grandfather I presume and his granddaughter once again I presume and hope came into the shop always busy always cramped and he picks up a dino egg for her hands it over pays quickly no bank no need lovely simple transaction but just as the till drawer has closed and I am pulling out his receipts to hand him I've seen him in the corner of my eye tear open the packaging of this egg smash open the lovely plastic shell and taken a big shot to his mouth he begins to chew turns slowly to me and only then does he think to ask is this edible number I gasped no sir that that's not edible you really shouldn't eat that the little granddaughters face sinks further watching her grandpa spit out bits of plastic into her broken dinosaur egg a fake dino egg designed to be immersed in water so that the rubbery Dino toy on the inside can grow and hatch I gave him another well I gave it to his granddaughter best to keep it away from him he was clearly ravenous and this is how products get weird warning labels on them I'm a cashier at a grocery store and one time I had a lady asked me if I could tell everyone else to let her go first like she expected me to force everyone who had been patiently waiting in line to let her cut them it wasn't like she only had one or two items either her cart was packed I had a lady today asked me the cashier if I could run to the back of the store to get her something she forgot while I had a full line and I told her no and she rolled her eyes at me and gave me a dirty look I guess it don't really relate all that well but she would rather inconvenience everybody didn't take the time to get them herself I work in a liquor store whose inventory is 80% wine you literally have to walk past aisles of wine to get to the hard liquor near the back I was in the Scotch aisle in the back of the store when a customer approaches me looks me me dead in the eyes and asks hey where do you keep the wine at I took a few seconds to react not sure at first if the guy was ducking with me or not but upon inspecting his sincerely frustrated gaze I arrived at the conclusion that the man was indeed serious I responded by simply pointing behind the gentleman and then sweeping my arm from one side to the other like I was showing my line Coble of the land that would one day be history today a customer asked me if I was the same Harry as the Harry she spoke with yesterday my name is not Harry and I wear a name badge at work I work at a small outdoor restaurant that sells wings and fries nothing else just those two things as far as food goes about a week ago a man walked up to my counter took a menu proceeded to read the entire thing in front of me and then put down his menu to ask can I get a cheeseburger combo after taking a minute's 2yp WTF expression off of my face and telling him no we only sold wings and fries he says what about a hot dog let me get a hot dog my mind was blown after that conversation customer where's the sugar me what customer I ordered sweet corn this is just corn backed when I did tech support I received a call from a customer with a peculiar keyboard problem it seems that Lee he was having trouble with a shift key when he typed the letter with the shift key pressed it gave him the uppercase letter but when he typed a number it didn't do that didn't do what type the uppercase number I had to break it to him gently did tech support ten years ago user forgot his password so I reset and gave him a new temporary password warned him that the letters were case-sensitive are the numbers case-sensitive to comma yes working at Cal Center asking people to pay their old bills naturally some responded angrily so this is what you do all day you just call people who haven't paid their bills yes so if I paid my bills you'll be out of the job if everybody pay their bills then yes haha good you just ducked up by telling me this I'm going to pay my bills right away when you're unemployed then see how you like getting calls about your bills the futility of eradicating a job that relies on the existence of poor people by making me poor escaped them I'm a dog groomer not a tailor his hair is too short can you just let the sides out a bit I'm a dog groomer too I don't know what the duck goes through some people's minds same thing with people who duck up their own dog's hair by just taking chunks out of it then want you to fix it well mum you see these bald spots that you created I'm sorry to tell you but I haven't gained the superpower to make hair grow worked on a Christmas tree farm over winter break in college one time I had a lady ask me so what are these trees made out of I work at Jimmy John's all Jimmy John's have a sign that says free smells had a lady come through the drive-thru one day while me and my manager are running it she asks about the free smells after her order and my manager tells her okay you can pull up she gets to the window gets a food then proceeds to look through the bag she eventually looks up all confused and asks where the free smells are my manager jokingly said oh you come inside and you can smell all you want for free she then says ok a hole and then speeds off to this day I have no duck include Watchi though would be in that bag edit to the people that keep saying she probably thought it was perfume I understand people call perfume smells but why would the fast food service be giving you perfume in any case edit - since some people here don't get why all Jimmy John's have at it's because every Jimmy John's bakes their bread fresh every morning and all throughout the day so the whole store usually smells off fresh-baked bread Flo you made it to the end you're ducking least I'll cut you a deal smash like and subscribe for more curated content might it's free and that's a great price

Channel: Sir Reddit

Views: 68,315

Rating: 4.8831925 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, askreddit, askreddit funny, top posts, top posts of r/, r/, r/askreddit, reddit top posts, reddit compilation, top posts of all time, askreddit question, askreddit top posts, ask reddit, askreddit reading, subreddit, reddit stories, best of r/askreddit, funny reddit, best reddit posts, best of reddit, reddit ama, ask me anything, reddit ask me anything, r/IAmA

Id: Vg2UvVviuuU

Length: 13min 18sec (798 seconds)

Published: Wed Aug 28 2019