Don Rickles Tears Into Everyone On The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson - 11/26/1980

[Applause] my next guest will be appearing at the Sahara for one week from Christmas to New Year's a heartwarming time for him to be there bring a little joy into everybody's clothes at the holiday season would you welcome mr. warmth Don Rickles I just took George in his car and told him where he was I got him out of here before you got out he was a sweet man he went back he said done done I kicked him in the leg and he went away charming man I'm gonna put him in a home so we don't bother any more juice right he's a sweet man you just hope don't you guys hope we get to be that age yeah well no I'm not well you will because you have nothing on your mind we all have responsibilities and family you got six million to sit out the beach go Larry and he's not even married to Mara Joanna is the wife that's right yeah she wasn't at the affair last night I hear the jewelry tarnished and she couldn't show up even she was a little tired that's all Freddy doesn't laugh anymore since he knows the president-elect that's right that's right justice they're going I'm gonna get rid of him and sit in the White House all right mr. president pass the beer I feel it I spoke to John he's getting rid of you now that's an hour he feels they can do it all alone they don't need you anymore sit on those big beer trucks going I'm moving out boys I am feeling the night last night we did an affair together for Sammy Davis jr. for the Friars you had and you still have a little bit of it you had a very bad case of bronchitis laryngitis yeah but how you gonna say to Sam you can't show up you know they'll move into the neighborhood that's right but it's a little humor no humor I don't want to get four letters I love the black people I have Harry Goines has been in my black bin with you for a long time yeah 20 you want to buy him no anyway he's he's beautiful never heard some 22 years and we love each other and it was a great night for Sammy it really was and you and your monologue I got a say in them you won't be too nice anymore because hello is the whole image of my monologue was Mac magnificent the one line telling the one line about the Pickfair eye I think that's a classic if they have to know the person I'm talking about you must tell Jerry Buss for example is a very wealthy individual who owns the the Lakers I guess he owns a world TeamTennis out here and the world yeah a very rich young man and he just bought the Mary Pickford and Buddy Rogers home called Pickfair so I announced last night at the end of this affair for Sammy that had additional surprise for him from the Friars a Jerry Buss was gonna buy him and put him on his front lawn at Pickfair and Sammy did a great thing he walked out funny you were funny last night good evening you know it's so funny when we go to these dinners and you and I discussed it you know you go to their dinners and when it's a friend and Sammy is a to all of us you know it sucked up because you got to sit there for hours and hours you know mayor Bradley was up there making a speech and alhambra was on fire he was saying I'd like to say Sam and three guys from engine companies came in with hose just give him the plaque and then we'll get the hell out ere you know you got all them air pretty funny last night well that was he really is like you know it's great to see a mayor sit at the dais and tap dance while you thought I mean he was a wonderful guy he really was you don't know what I asked you about Shirley want a whole idea we're not gonna sit here and stare at each other's outfit that's right that is a cute outfit as you get older you start to go for the sports jacket and slacks and as you get older you start to go for those Mickey Mouse suits well this is the toy Johnny Carson outfits that are made in Buffalo for $2 with the thin lapels and the cute little shirts and then the back he has a fake Dickey and there's no outfit no fly no front just a little bit underneath he's wearing jeans and a dead Cowboys a dead cowboy yeah well they don't know I never asked you what you mean we're not gonna make this a question-and-answer buzzer and win two trips to a luau tonight you went to England and you entertain for the Royal fan up Freddie if you know more than me you'd be a guest he don't see Emily I love that ever since he did bozo he's drunk with power oh so it's the same dog buns oh I don't follow eight Saito I'm at you we own the whole zoo you went to England to entertain the royal family Branson it wasn't exactly that wait John yeah what happened was Bob Hope oh it was a personal friend of yours and mine certainly does he know you yes he probably saw you on one of the floats as you can see I got the Doc Holliday disease yes consumption there yeah Vic mature falling off the cab Wow anyway so we went to London with Bob Newhart who was great because he takes care of the luggage and the sports woman give one you can come into the country anyway and that's an England and they talk like that cuz they're all from India welcome to our country anyway and they all got turbans on it one mem side welcome to our country and Margaret Thatcher is on the corner guy don't talk like that anyway she's really we had a wonderful time tell us about it we went to the ambassadors and had a few drinks which you don't drink anymore and you don't drink anymore may God give me a stroke if they don't drink anyway so we went to Lee ambassadors and Bob had a scotch and I had my few vodkas and we enjoyed and then we did the gala the opening night was that was four days of golf my wife said Barbara darling Barbara said to me listen we never get a chance we never do these things and you don't like those things you don't like golf competition I know that uh a bowling ed goes to anything a dead moose hang on anything to falcons in heat on a road he shows up but I don't usually do that III I'm very self-conscious about that in my golf you know I love to play golf and I'm not too good if you're terrible right good good enough this happened it and that's strongly but I am terrible I'm but I love it it's the whole idea I'm not in competitive competition I booked so I got to the golf course and the punchline was fifteen thousand people are watching we were up all night and Lee ambassador was a wonderful Club in London with John Hill it was like the Sydney is John Hill John Mills John Mills sorry and I was Connie's like the Sidney Greene she got refreshment under the duck and Bob Newhart who's a wasp from the Middle West kept thank you have a Pepsi so I go to a commercial commercial keep that big estate going that's right subtle something goes no time now I want to know and the time we have it all Princess Margaret reacted to you not having probably known you and knowing your humor well what happened in all fairness a Bob Hope presented me like and as always as you know it's a it's a custom for some reason which I'm flattered by and and you've and I have said this many many times you've been my ace in the hole the guy that got me really rolling in this television world and so they knew me from your show opening well that's the truth and Dean Martin show that's the two things they knew about me and Bob said and now again you know at midnight after everybody had 88 drinks and oil well the British comics got up and they're lovely you know Jimmy Tarbuck sand Bruce for saying they said and gar is and this is similar exaggerating when and to God I went for a nail in a bucket and said Duval with a chance to and a mother fell and it cream frogs happens [Music] like I said my aunt the gun I said to my wife I got to get a triple vodka get me anything anything I I'm not an alcoholic but I need something and Newhart had already been off and Brock did his adorable thing which he does he does not so great that telephone thing with which they could all communicate with right and Bob said and now a guy that's going to destroy an arrow and a hair is Gemma going to destroy us you know sorry I walked out and I said something about the Queen I said Your Majesty forgive me and Bubba bum I said look how'd you get all the jewelry how'd you get so rich and pull the bum my mother was living in two rooms in Miami you have a big house with a flagpole and I'm getting fed up and boom you're sitting here laughing and the other thing I have I have and they keep checking the car to see if it's funny you know and she was sitting there quietly having her martini going the whole evening everybody's been so I didn't know where the hell I was I kept doing their hell a new heart kept saying get the cab get the care punchline right goes over if we sit down I said to my wife as we will do we have three of us being right and the wives really have a lot to say and my wife quietly said to me absolutely good just cool it just cool it be relaxed you did good boom I said Barbara I'm so nervous she said forget it God comes who said would you've met Kevin meet her majesty oh hi Nance should like to meet you said who what oh she wanted me and my wife said it's us dummy it's that boom this is Princess Margaret Princess Margaret and we walk over and I say your highness and the first thing out of her mouth is that's my sister MSH pardon me so we sat down and it was only us yeah and the Secret Service there Scotland Yard you know they will have white gloves and a lot of Dickies that are popping up and we sat down and we had a lovely discussion and she said how's your mom I said how's your mom we discussed this and we chit-chatted in and I gave a recipe for Jewish message and she did she said really and we did have how hell and we walked away and I said to Barbara this broads rich so they don't get really rich we had a ball that's wonderful we'll be right back [Music] [Applause] you

Channel: Johnny Carson

Views: 1,414,310

Rating: 4.8009486 out of 5

Keywords: Don Rickles_11.26.1980

Id: LADnb1XL_RQ

Length: 10min 27sec (627 seconds)

Published: Mon Apr 27 2020