Doctors Share Stories Of Their Most Stupid Patients Ever (r/AskReddit | Reddit Stories)

doctors of Reddit what's the stupidest patient you've ever had I had to explain to a 17 year old girl and her mother that she was not in fact allergic to alcohol but she was just hungover she complained that on nights when she drank too much vodka usually on an empty stomach that she would feel nauseous flushed and sometimes vomit in the morning but it didn't happen all the time and there were no other typical symptoms of an allergic reaction I worked at a pain management clinic in an attempt to combat opioid use addiction abuse lot of patients were prescribed a medicated cream it looked a lot like sunscreen and you just rubbed it on to the hurting areas I watched the nurse carefully and slowly explain how to rub it onto the skin using small and complicated words and going through the motions of applying it several times but every so often patients would complain that their cream tastes bad I once had a child who swallowed a sizeable magnet that passed to the intestine and we were just waiting for it to pass in stool the next day when he came for follow-up we just found out that he swallowed another one that got stuck to the first magnet in the intestine through the stomach wall resulting in intestinal obstruction and he was transferred to or immediately to have them surgically removed that kid needs to get his sh t together he was trying that's why he swallowed two magnets I had a mom and grandma bring their twelve-year-old daughter granddaughter to the emergency room because she was bleeding not from trauma or a wound mind you the poor girl had started menstruating in the mom didn't want to explain what was happening or started to happen nor that it would continue to happen as mom and grandma well knew come on the upside it was a very quick ER visit once they were actually seen bug this is such a sh TTY thing to do firstly it's completely unnecessary and a waste of medical professionals time and secondly because it likely makes the poor girl feel like what's happening to her is ignore my dad is an orthopedic surgeon who does a lot of hips and knees and cries would laughter every time he tells the story of a woman who didn't understand how hip surgery works and thought they were going to take her leg off fix the hip and then reattach her leg Oh duck if we're talking stupid Edie visits a woman came in because she got stung by a bee not allergic and no reaction it just hurt a woman brought her kid in because he got stung by a bee not allergic ins no reaction an entire family came in because they found the dead mouse in their apartment woman came in for a second-degree burn on her arm that was roughly the size of a tic tac a woman spent like five minutes explaining to me that because of all the vaccinations we give dogs were seeing a rise in doggie autism I like to call it sport ISM had a patient comment stating that he couldn't bend his knee asked him to remove his trousers so I could examine his leg after he removed his trousers the reason that he couldn't bend his knee was that he had a plaster cast around his knee checking his notes he had been sent numerous letters asking him to come and for removal of this plaster cast and as he hadn't attended any of the outpatient clinics the hospital had assumed that he had removed the cast himself paramedic got a call for a stroke patient had facial droop and slurred speech says that it feels just like the last time she had a stroke ten years ago says that the symptoms came on about four days ago and she knew the moment it was happening that it was a stroke but didn't go to the hospital because she thought she could make it go away on her own these stories make me chuckle I'm also a paramedic and was called out for a stroke clearly the man was having a stroke upon doing a stroke screen it looked like the patient had something large in his mouth thinking maybe this guy had some sort of all of laryngeal cancer or mass I asked his wife if this was indeed the case and she looked at me with a very puzzled look she said no and then I said what is in his mouth his wife then says it's a peanut butter and jelly sandwich that she shoved in there when her husband symptoms started she thought it was just that his blood glucose was low so she tried to force-feed this poor man an entire sandwich before she called 911 our job security there was a 24 year old patient who was brought in from a jail in a rural County he was working roadside cleanup when he found a bottle in a ditch that he thought contained alcohol and he quickly chugged it down to be fair it did look like whiskey it wasn't turns out it was a substance that contains sulfuric acid its pH was less than 2/5 it just ate up the litmus paper so shortly after he gets to the iku he is in excruciating pain and vomiting blood the gastroenterologist took him to do an EGD basically a procedure where they can look at the esophagus stomach and duodenum with the camera attached to a flexible tube and the pictures were horrendous you could literally see his stomach and esophageal mucosa roading away he had to be sent off to another hospital where they had an esophageal surgeon who could repair the mess he of course needed multiple surgeries and had a very long hospital stay I saw him a few months later when he was admitted for another issue he was down to 90 pounds from about 150 and was getting fed through a PEG tube he was very lucky to be young and otherwise healthy but obviously not very smart any chance you could be pregnant No so no unprotected SX with a man since the last day of you last menstrual period well yeah okay I'm gonna have the nurse come in and give you a pamphlet and I'm gonna come back and ask you again I know a guy who went to the doctor in a panic thinking he had cancer because when he tugged his eyebrow hair some came loose a guy came to the outpatient clinic with swollen left ball he said he was injected with some cat super oil by his friend with his consent to enhance his performance in bed I'm a female medical intern and I tried so hard to keep my expression as neutral as possible my mom works in hospital and the techs from radiology always have the best stories last week they had a male patient with a huge carrot up his ass he came from a conservative area by bus standing cause could not sit it was a 3h bus ride if I ever could change my job I want to be a radiology tech edit radiology tech not nurse please tell me he said while sup talk to her not a doctor but dental nurse my favorite was a 30 something year old woman who came in for a check-up at the emergency low-cost clinic I worked at eath were broken and almost blackened gums are angry swollen white red and bleeding by just moving her tongue against them needed multiple scaling hygienist appointments and the debridement honestly YouTube has some amazingly disgusting videos of this treatment but maybe keep the sound off if you don't like the SCR ping sound x-ray showed she had all but her wisdom teeth and ten fillings root canals to try and save some teeth and extractions for I think three but more Athey RCT didn't work explained everything and did the usual explanation of proper oral hygiene asked her if she had any questions to which she says it's okay file lose this set of teeth my others will come through he and the dentist just looked at each other probably a lot longer than we should have no words I couldn't think of anything to reply to that comment I had a lot of weird and disgusting things happen at that clinic I actually miss working there when I was a child my uncle told me if you live long enough you'll get a third set of teeth it took me a long time to realize he meant dentures a 20 year old girl came in with abdominal pains we did a pregnancy test and she was pregnant she acted surprised because she was on the pill I asked her how long she's been on it and if she had been taking a daily as prescribed as if it were the most logical thing on the planet she said she did not take it daily because she did not have SX daily I looked at her trying hard not to laugh she only took them right after she had SX with her boyfriend so like maybe a couple of times a week that is heartbreaking she tried to do the right thing but we didn't provide her the education both developmentally and medically that she needed maybe the guy who had previously had an anaphylactic reaction to a foodstuff but wasn't sure he was really allergic so thought he'd tested out by bringing some to the IDI waiting room and eating it spoiler he was really allergic I mean if he's going to test it he did so in the best possible place my one patient used to hold in her farts to the point of being in aunt agonizing pain because she thought that there was a certain amount of air inside a person and if you let too much out your deflate student here a guy came into the ER one time because he noticed dandruff dandruff like have you not heard of head and shoulders he might have only heard about knees and toes I have a few examples patient who recently been diagnosed with diabetes we needed to adjust her blood sugar levels but she kept eating sweets so we had a talk for like 30 minutes with her about not eating sweets and so on she seemed to understand five minutes after the conversation she went around drinking a soda another guy who had a benign a rich Mia the heartbeats irregular II he knew that he could get the a rich Mia from time to time but as long as he didn't faint or got any pain in the chest he could just take a beta-blocker and let it pass but he went to the ER like 6-7 times before he understood that we couldn't do anything one patient came in for something can't remember what and when we ran tests we found that he had a pH of 697 that is on the border at what the body can have and still have any function at all read he should be dead but he was awakened clear we wanted to admit him to the IQ and adjust it without most care but he needed to go home to eat a shrimp sandwich yes a shrimp sandwich we sat down and talked to him and his mother for 30 minutes that no shrimp sandwich in the world is worth your life and if there is something else you need to get help with we can help him but nope he left he came back a couple of hours later and we cured his acidosis but that must have been a mean shrimp sandwich had a guy come into the ER for hiccups yesterday long at it I just got a million messages as to why hiccups almost killed people awesome guy they know holy crap this was not the case no acute symptoms no abdominal or thoracic complaints no pain no sorrow dyspnea no abnormalities normal rad exams he just came in because he was hiccupping he was not dying it wasn't a vagus nerve tumor or acute pancreatitis it was hiccups just hiccups calm your tits Jesus no mayo me any chance you're pregnant PT no me are us sooo early active ET yes me why is there no chance you're pregnant PT because I'm not married me pee in this Cup patient thought taking vitamin b6 double dis was the same as b12 had a patient and his girlfriend complaining of fleas they were covered in red spots that they were picking out constantly they were meth heads that were picking their skin off and imagining drugs were crawling on them they were adamant that they had seen these bugs and pulled them out of these sores discharge instructions stop doing math I had a patient on my OBGYN rotation who was in her 50s and decided that her clitoris was actually a growth and needed to be removed she came in three different times to talk to different residents over a month and would never understand that she's always had it and it's supposed to be there we even printed off a diagram of normal female anatomy to explain and she started saying her Yura throw was actually the growth and she wanted that removed we explained she wouldn't be able to empty her bladder without it and she then demanded her bladder be taken out - I think she should have been referred to psych AG I had a really sore ass or something.idk I came late to the party the nurse had him lined down and told him not to get up or try to go to the bathroom he did it anyways and a weird brown liquid started to drip down his leg turns out he kia stood a root beer bottle I'm not a doctor but got told to go introduce myself to her patient get vehicles history more info on their chief complaint start an IV and draw blood for labs they came in for arm pain and it looked like they had a nasty bug bite on their arm so story was she is a stripper and they're a Daryll prescription wasn't doing the trick so they had an idea how to make it more potent they heard from a friend that if you crush it up suspended in water and inject it it would be more effective except she used tap water to dissolve the Adaro before she injected it this ended up causing a huge abscess and infection at the site of injection she ended up losing her arm at the elbow so now she's a one-armed stripper I rate mom who wanted to speak to the doctor because we took an unauthorized urine pregnancy test on 16 year old daughter just before x-rays I never consented and now she's traumatized explain that it is standard in females of childbearing age and that consent to treatment was signed upon entrance to facility not good enough they were rich southeast asian and i suspected that this routine standard was perceived as an insult to their state I'm that patient my dad is a doctor as a kid I called him in a panic because I was peeing blood mind you we were in Africa at that point and he was doing development work tailed me not a flush and rushed home just to clarify my dad was in the middle of a meeting with a bunch of Big Kahuna's from fair UN NSF et Cie and I ruined that instance for him I'd eaten beads not a doc but work at an ER I was putting in charges one night and one of the doctors had forgotten to mark the chart appropriately so I looked at the diagnosis it read imagined object envy Gina I went back to joke about this and got the story a woman came in and said she'd accidentally sat on a cactus and had spines in her vagina the doctor with a female nurse in the room had to go looking and never found a single thing including any wounds or signs of irritation when I asked why someone would do that sarcastically the doctor on at the time said well I guess if you've got nothing better to do on a Friday night not a doctor but when I was in college this girl white I was dating called me all freaked out that her skin was turning black this was midday during the week she said she was going to the hospital my house was across the street from the University Hospital so I decided to head over to see what was up she was distraught I went into the examination room with her and she explained her situation to the doctor and showed him her arm the doctor just licked his thumb and rubbed her arm turns out she was wearing a brand-new black sweater and some of the fibers rubbed off on her arms I'm a CNA not a doctor but that being said the other day of patient was telling me that they want the doctor to prescribe them heroin I told him I'm pretty sure they can't prescribe anyone heroin being new to the field I have learned the opioid epidemic is a very real thing that affects an insane amount of people I nearly was bad but I didn't think it was this bad friend of mine is a gynecologist and she told me that once she had a patient come in and tell her that she cannot have SX anymore because her partners complained that her who are stinks really badly but she's never noticed so doc asks questions like have you been using any new soaps creams are you allergic to anything and the patient said no doc examines patients vagon the smell is unbearable she suspects a major infection then she realizes that she cannot see inside properly and she grabs her tweezers idk the proper name and prods she hits something cushiony she starts to pull gently and extracts a tampon a month-old tampon which was black and green and smelt fellow patient says oh I thought it has fallen out when I had my last period ' not a doctor but I work in a pharmacy in the first person that came to mind was a very overweight lady with an absolutely toxic personality she always treated whoever was with her terribly would come in every few months with a new head from dr. oz for a new product to help her lose weight that she made me place a special order for know what she never shed any pounds paramedic here called for a diabetic I get where on the patient is an older gentleman who was laying on a bed with what looks like a white mask on I asked what's going on and the family goes on to explain that he's a diabetic and the doc told them to give him frosting if his sugar gets low because a sugar content will perk him up turns out he didn't explain that they should put it in his mouth that's right they put a white frosting mask on this poor guy shocker didn't work respiratory therapist here was working ER and was told we were getting a patient in respiratory distress when she gets in she is having problems breathing and need oxygen I'm placing an oxygen mask on her and she yells I'm allergic to oxygen I heard the doctor laugh behind the curtains I had a fella come into the ER who was stone sober but only because he had spilled all of his rubbing alcohol onto his pants which meant he couldn't drink it the reason why he was in the ER if the first place was because he tried to burn the alcohol off of his jeans by lighting the alcohol on fire thinking the alcohol would burn and not his pants he had some pretty rowdy burns from the calves down because he couldn't get his pants off of his shoes to be honest but he nice guy absolutely the kind you'd expect to light themself on fire but he was very pleasant considering the circumstances we had a young methamphetamine addicts present with upper abdominal pain she had a gastroscopy in deteriorated afterwards Ct showed she had a perforated stomach following the procedure the worst possible complication and would need emergency surgery despite the damage she was not clinically too unwell yet despite hours of counseling pleading she self discharged later that day to go home and smoke meth never heard about her again had to explain to a nurse at once she is seeing inside her daughter's ear on an otoscope is normal cone of light and not a pimple she had thought initially and that she should not pop it with a needle as she had originally planned edit she was my nurse at a time I'm a PA texted me the night before saying she found a pimple in her daughter's ear in that she was going to pop it with a needle called her immediately and told her to leave it alone and bring the child in the next morning for me to look at this was recent I had a patient who was paralyzed from a low back problem that was reversible by surgery the night before surgery his blood glucose was getting up pretty high like 500 ish and climbing I told him we had to stop an insulin drip to control it wound healing and infection risk are greatly affected and no surgeon would do this surgery with BG this high he then drops this line it is against my religion okay in fairness I get religious issues all the time so I try to a good doctor in our ask he states his Catholic it took me a ducking hour of my life at 3:00 a.m. to get him to take his insulin he was ever do close to spending another day without use of his legs because he made up a religious objection to insulin I can't fathom the stupidity that had to be conjured in order to roll that dude

Channel: Reddit Tales

Views: 41,967

Rating: 4.9016395 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, askreddit, top posts, r/askreddit, reddit top posts, reddit cringe, comedy, askreddit top posts, ask reddit, subreddit, reddit stories, reddit tales, funny reddit, best reddit posts, best of reddit, askreddit new, askreddit stories, reddit story, askreddit funny, reddit best, funny posts, funny askreddit, r/, reddit funny, people of reddit, stories, updoot, toadfilms, tz reddit, reddit jar, planet reddit, storytime, doctors, doctors of reddit, stupid patient, nurses, er

Id: iGiz2IvuXzw

Length: 22min 37sec (1357 seconds)

Published: Sun May 17 2020