Dumbest Patients Doctors Have Met (r/AskReddit)

doctors have written it what's something you've had to tell a patient that you thought for sure was common knowledge vet ear I had this lady bring in her female cat who turned out to be pregnant she was adamant that it was impossible as this was strictly an indoor cat upon further questioning she admitted that there was an intact Tom also living in the same house but that he couldn't possibly have done it because he was the female cats brother yeah caps don't work that way I can just imagine that this woman never looked at her cats the same way again you're disgusting mr. buttons don't stare at Miss Kitty like that she's your sister both mr. buttons and Miss Kitty were condemned to perpetual chastity shortly afterwards I work in vet medicine as well this is way too common the moral code of pets is highly overrated by the general public the best was the woman who was feeding her three-month-old dog every few days for no other reason than she thought a dog should only that often came in for hippo glycaemia of course the nurse who spoke with her has no patience for this kind of jacked ignorance and actually shouted at her do you eat every three days had a lady measure her baby's temperature by preheating the oven and putting one hand in front of it while the other hand was on the baby's forehead she told the nurse her baby's fever was about 250 degrees Oh God for a second I thought she was going to put the baby in the oven still scared for that baby though how high is your baby's fever ma'am I believe it's about warm another vet here dead borders decomposed if you leave you're dead dog I utilized in the back of your car on the hottest day of the year don't come crying to me when its belly fills with putrefying gases and bursts demanding I cover the costs of rear falster in your car might be considered a little rude as well in a free medical clinic I had to tell her mother that she should be brushing her four-year-olds teeth the daughter came because her throat hurt after opening her mouth and using a tongue depressor to see her throat the daughter squirmed like four-year-olds are prone to do and the tongue depressor hid her gums pus flowed everywhere and the child wound having to be put on penicillin before having every last tooth pulled due to severe infection I once had a patient where the cancer diagnosis completely depressed about not being able to see their family anymore I was confused because I had spoken with this individual spouse and extended family who seemed supportive there wasn't any indication of family problems etc it turns out that this individual thought genetic and family history had meant something similar to contagious leading them to the conclusion that one should stay away from loved ones lest it be spread through the family that was one clarification I was so happy to give podiatrist buddy told me this one lady has to have foot amputated and has given waiver forms to sign pre-op but he asks if she needs time to think about it she's very nonchalant and doesn't seem to care much what they do he gets suspicious and probes a bit as to why she's not more concerned she says she gets that they have to operate and it's okay because the foot will grow back HD then has to explain she's not a salamander things get a bit more serious Wow good thing he checked I can see a lawsuit forming he didn't tell me it wouldn't grow back I'm sad he checked a story about a woman saying that in court would be the highlight of a lawyer's career I remember watching some documentary once and there was this lady who had diabetes and her foot was necrotic the doctor told her she was going to have to have it amputated and she said no Jesus will heal it for me or something like that the doctor looked at her and said mom you have maggots eating your foot Jesus wants you to get it amputated did Jesus end up healing it or what OPP LS I need to know whether I should see a doctor about this chlamydia that's spreading across my body or if Jesus will take care of it for me mom brought her kids to the ER after they ate all of their Halloween candy because they had tummy aches they were still eating Reese's peanut butter cups when they were in the exam room I had to explain to her that they need to cut back on the candy and she looked at me like I had three heads there's no wrong way to eat erasers don't tell me how to raise my kids one of my professors told me the story from when he was treating patients in a women's clinic apparently his woman was previously prescribed birth control pills but still kept getting pregnant she complained that she took her birth control every night and didn't know why it wasn't working finally my professor found out that she wasn't actually swallowing her birth control pills she put the pills up her vajayjay and thought that's how birth control pills work no one ever thought they had to actually explain to her how to take the birth control this isn't even so bad I know a guy who had sex with a girl and discovered the condom broke so he did what many people do and went to get the morning-after pill and took it himself needless to say he didn't end up giving birth paramedic here have informed numerous people that pouring Gatorade into the unresponsive diabetics mouth is not a good idea but it has electrolytes it's what plants crave I think Opie is suggesting we pour toilet water into their mouths instead that there were eight months pregnant my ex was waiting for a monthly appointment while she was pregnant and the lady next to her looked as if she was in a lot of pain and appeared confused my ex tried to ask her a few questions do you need help or want it but the lady did not understand either French or English she went to the front desk to get a nurse who spoke Arabic I guess and it turned out that not only was she pregnant but she was in the process of giving birth we enquired about the incident on our next appointment and apparently successfully gave birth but refused to believe what was happening until an actual live baby was pulled out of her so yeah denial is a hell of a state to live in for almost a month my friend had random pains bruises started showing up randomly he looked as hen and what we first thought was him being lazy was actually him not having any energy finally his girlfriend got him to agree to go to the doctor who sent him to the e ah where it took several doctors to figure out what was wrong either because none of them had actually seen it in real life before all didn't think someone could be that stupid quote the doctor you have scurvy eat a ducking orange I went on a couple of dates with a girl who was a an ecologist I got a text one day saying OMG one of my patients is [ __ ] their internal organs are prolapsing through their vajayjay because they thought it would be a good idea to douche with lester ring because they just had unprotected sex and didn't want to get pregnant WTF so don't douche with Listerine the organs basically said what a ducking [ __ ] I'm outta here [ __ ] riot my wife and I were trying to get pregnant and due to possible complications we were talking to her obstetrician towards the end of the visit he tells us in all seriousness just so you guys know you have to stop using condoms if you want to get pregnant we just stare at him a bit and say ah obviously and he just shakes his head and says he'd be surprised there's been a few couples that really didn't realize that if they are both too stupid to realize it then aren't they doing humanity a favor by not reproducing my parents were also having problems getting pregnant and their doctor explained that you need to have vaginal 6 because he'd had patients who were doing anal and wondering why it wasn't resulting in pregnancy so did your parents ever get a kid not a doctor but a paramedic during clinical time in the ER 17 yo girl came in with a bloody rectum anus apparently she wasn't wiping after using the bathroom and it was basically really bad diaper rash sir the nurse had to call social services and explained to this girl proper wiping can you imagine how bad her ass aged constantly the smell her ducking underwear her confusion as to what that role of super soft paper is beside the crapper in public bathrooms her mother ducking period if she doesn't wipe you can assume her hygiene during her period is deplorable not a doctor but my friend had to be told that the reason her son was getting sick at school every day was because she was packing him peanut butter sandwiches and he was allergic to peanuts she honestly didn't know that was an ingredient and he was in middle school and wasn't bright enough to realize it himself my 26 year old boyfriend didn't know that popcorn was made out of corn so that really doesn't surprise me too much my mom was a radiologists [ __ ] now and she regularly had to explain to patients that if you were too fat to be put in the scanner you could not be put in the scanner along similar lines if you weighed more than the table could support it would be listed on a sign in big letters they could not put you on the table at our Hospital University they send fat people to the zoo their scanner for large animals can be used for humans too oh god I can just picture that embarrassing conversation with the patient no joke a panicked 29 year old came to the office for corn in his stool he genuinely thought something was wrong I'm not a doctor but I'm an ER nurse I had a patient come in for an STD check she was very upset and continued to tell me that she only had one partner progressing through my assessments she further divulged that even if he was sleeping with other people it shouldn't matter because he uses a condom every time and he makes sure to wash it throughly after every use I asked what she meant when she said he washes it after every use she explained that he washed the condom with hot water and soap before he used said condom again I had to explain to her that condoms are a one-time-use product she had no clue not a doctor but a good friend of minors he once told that he had to explain to one of his patients that regular band-aids do not cure anything at all but just cover up a wound the patient in question had tried to cure her recently diagnosed type 2 diabetes by sticking band-aids all over herself doctors hate her for using this one weird trick have had to inform a few male patients that the condom only goes on the shaft and should not be pulled down to include covering of the testicles

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Keywords: Dumbest Patients Doctors Have Met, reddit, rebbit reddit, reddit top posts, rebbit, top posts of all time, reddit stories, ask reddit, r/, r/askreddit, askreddit, reddit funny, reddit best of all time, reddit doctors, doctor, patient, reddit dumbest patient, dumb patients, Doctors: what's something dumb you've had to tell a patient

Id: p_i2hGmy67s

Length: 10min 55sec (655 seconds)

Published: Thu Nov 07 2019