- Be honest. Is it meme or me-me? Huge thanks to Audible
for sponsoring this video. Be-whoop! If a UTI was an outfit. (Mike laughing) I would say that's more like heartburn. But it could be a UTI.
Because it burns when you pee. Dysuria, one of the
common symptoms of a UTI. The bad news is the
operation was unsuccessful. The good news is I'm working on not defining myself by my failure. Well, at least your doctor
left room for growth. Where does almond milk come from? Nobody. My brain. (Mike laughing) Honestly, I don't really
know where almond milk. I guess you could squeeze
the (bleep) out of the nut. (Cameraman laughing) Puns about the body are generally corny, but puns about the eyes are even cornea. (Mike and cameraman laughing) My dad barometer joke is a spinning. Someone: Cats heal people. 30 year old me: Got a cat. Cat: No way brother. Is that a toothpick? - [Cameraman] It is a cigarette. - Oh, such a good image. I'm worthless. Actually. He's like I can sell some stuff. One of the cool things they don't tell you about your thirties is
you can hurt your neck by turning to look at something which is wild because that
is the neck's main job. Oh, this is so true. And then I decided as
a genius doctor to say, well how about I let people hit me, rotating my neck abruptly. And that's somehow going to help. The idea of hurting your
neck while turning it is because we're not moving enough. We need to stay mobile. We need to increase our range of motion. When you do that, you
actually get more circulation, more healing, more range
of motion, less injury. Couple who tried to conceive for 17 years welcome sextuplets. When you hit print hella times, and all the copies come out at once. Facts. My suspicion being that I'm in medicine is that they probably had IVF. And when you have IVF,
you have higher rates of twins, triplets, and I'm
assuming sextuplets as well. Are you a Myelin sheath? Because you're getting on my nerves. No. Because if you are a myelin
sheath, you'd love to cuddle. Myelin sheaths literally
cuddle your nerves and they speed it up. Honestly. I think if I
was a part of the body, I'd be a myelin sheath, because
I feel like I'm very fast. And I also like to cuddle. Ask Bear. How to burn thousands of
calories in just a few minutes. You literally burned it. - [Cameraman] You burned a
lot of calories recently? - Yeah. Boxing today think I burned 1400. Yeah. And who texted you this? Should be who Snapchatted you this. Me Extremely burnt out: I need to take the day off to relax. Also me: I wonder if there
is a way that I could relax that would be more productive. We have split into two extremes of hyper productive individuals,
and those who are cool to just to sit and melt into their chairs. And I wish we can somehow
come more towards the middle. I can't find any reason
for your discomfort. It must be the alcohol. Then I'll come back when you're sober. I will say doctors do tend to do that. Like if they can't find something wrong, they just like pick a
random thing to blame it on. I prefer being honest and being like, no idea. We'll keep looking or we
can try certain things, eliminate certain things. But also you shouldn't
be drunk as a doctor. Me when I break my leg. I know where this is
from Inglorious Basterds. Such a good movie. Dominic Decoco. - Bravo. - Bravo. That's not recommended. Because when you break a bone, you want to avoid putting
excess pressure on that bone. So I don't know what could be broken here that they would do it
in the shape of a heel. Not a good idea. Pregnant, non pregnant, positive. Damn, hope you feel better. Quarantine. Are you stupid? I guess they misread the test there. And by the way for those who don't know, these quick acting tests, whether it's for COVID or pregnancy, if there's even a faint
line for the positive, that's a positive test. So if anything pops up it's positive. To avoid straining your eyes when you're continuously working, follow the 20-20-20 rule. I say that all the time. After 20 minutes of work,
look at something 20 feet away then spend 20 years of the forest. You might think this is a joke. The 20-20-20 rule is actually every 20 minutes look at a point, 20 feet away, for 20 seconds. That will help your eyes relax. But this is not wrong. Spending time in the forest with objects that are far away from you, helps your pupil, relax
and your eyes relax. So looking at things in the distance for 20 years in the forest
is healthy for your eyes. Back to the memes in just a second. But first I want to thank Audible
for sponsoring this video. Last week I interviewed Dr. Paul Offit about his book Overkill, when modern medicine goes too far. I found this book on Audible, and thought it was so interesting that I actually begged Dr. Offit to come on the channel
to discuss it some more. In particular, we talked about the myths of biohacking, and
Silicon valley medicine, and how certain modern medicine treatments make absolutely no sense. Make sure to go watch that
interview after this video and sign up for Audible today, by going to audible.com/doctormike or text Doctor Mike to the number 500 500. Remember though, Doctor
Mike is spelled out, and begin your free 30 day trial. With that you'll have access to Audible's premium selection and Audible plus catalog giving you access to
the latest best sellers, guided meditations,
podcasts, and so much more. The link to sign up is down below and the end card after this
video will take you straight to my interview with Dr. Offit. All right, let's get back to some memes. Why you showing me? I was with you yesterday. And? I had a vasectomy
last year. It ain't mine. Why can't people figure it out? Aren't you curious what it is? And how do you even know that's positive? Unless they scan the QR code. Chakras. We need Shaq to come back
and coach the Lakers. Let me know if you agree. New doctor: So tell me a little
bit about what's going on. Me: Massive engine failure. You know someone wise once told me that a doctor should
always look under the hood, but not go over your head. But in reality, a lot of things go wrong with the human body. We don't have electrical
systems that can be plugged into a device that's to
tell us what the errors are. But I guess you could make a claim that an EKG is sort of like that. We stick on little leads, and
then all of a sudden we know kind of what's going on with your heart. Me: I have a headache. Web MD: And it'll be your last. Everything Web MD will be your last. I'm surprised they even allow advertisers to advertise on it, because it feels like all their users are about to die. How is that a profitable business model? Do they go to advertise and say, Hey, people come to our website and we tell them all they're going to die. Might not, but they probably will. So don't you want to advertise to them? Facial reconstructive surgery. You mean boxing? This could have been, I dubs
circa a hundred years ago - [Cameraman] Needs a few
more tattoos, but yeah. - True. Ex-ercise? Ex-tra fries? There's something about a
fry that is boring to me. It's almost like salty bread. Do you eat salty bread? Why would you eat a salty potato? Cheesy fries. I get it.
I get the cheesy fry. But just a potato stick? The down votes on this video are palpable. - [Cameraman] Sound off
in the comments folks. - Hey, I just met you, and this is rabies but here's my lumbar dipped in gravy. Why would you show someone? I guess you could show them your lumbar. If you're trying to like
show them booty a little bit. Hey Bear. You got rabies?
Brought us some rabies. Can I get kiss? (dog licking) Thank you. You have rabies? Oh my God. Do not fall for this BS. Someone has been using my image and trying to get people to believe that there's a magical pill for diabetes. And I've reported them.
We've gotten them taken down. They keep changing their
name, changing the website. Please do not fall for this. It is full on scam spam. In fact if you see it,
report it, call the FBI. Maybe don't call the FBI. I don't think this is an FBI issue. When you're about to die,
but Batman got your back. That's not, that's not Batman. That's the death reaper coming
for your cardiac muscle. My emotional support dog
after one day with me. The dog needs emotional support. That's how Bear feels over there. But this is also sending
the wrong message folks. Do not cope with your stresses by doing what this dog is doing. Me: Carbs. Is this Kim and Pete? This looks like a Staten
Island restaurant, based on the Italian food,
the diet Cokes, the straws, the sauna like background. No tendons, just tendies. Well there is also, if
we're being accurate here, no muscles, ligaments, connective tissue, fascia, organs, nerves, blood vessels, lymph nodes, skin, fingernails, hair. Okay. I'll stop. Doctor: Our x-rays showed
you swallowed a light bulb. Me: I guess you could say I'm, Doctor: Don't do this. Me: Lit AF. Doctor: Get out. I hope the doctor really
didn't say get out. It's a really big problem. Light bulb is going to break. It's going to fracture. It's going to shatter. It's going to cut things. Person's going to bleed internally. Gastric juices are going to spill. Irritation will happen. An SBO will occur. SBP is what I really meant to say. Spontaneous bacterial
peritonitis. That's what it was. I didn't even have to look it up. My brain just worked. Meme review. Dr. Mike. Asking
questions. Playing games. I don't get it. - [Cameraman] I think that's reference to responding to comments videos. You're giving all your
attention to meme review videos. - Oh. Oh yeah. We haven't played games. What games should we play? - [Cameraman] Let us know. - I would play another apex game. - [Cameraman] We want to play a game. - I want to play apex. I've been like sharpening
up my skills a little bit. I've been playing with bloodhound. This is one shame to
the medical profession. Such unprofessional handwriting. Unprofessional. That's fire. Are you kidding me? - [Cameraman] That's
why it's unprofessional. - Oh, true. - [Cameraman] (laughing) You get it. And you're disappointed. - I get it. And also they're putting two
prescriptions on the one pad. I'm not a huge fan of that. Take one with food. Every
four hours as needed. They're treating fever very aggressively. Maybe you don't need to
treat fever aggressively. I think we talked about that on my interview with Dr. Offit. Last week at the drug store, someone threw a bottle of
fish oil supplements at me. Luckily my injuries were
only super fish oil. Superficial. - [Cameraman] There you go. - My husband just swallowed a paracetamol. What shall I do? Well that is just Tylenol in Europe. Give him a headache now.
Why waste the medicine? Yeah, if it was just one and
he doesn't have like an allergy I don't know what the issue here is. Acetaminophen and paracetamol can cause problems with your liver if you ingest too much. It's one of the most common
causes of liver inflammation. People overusing those. My therapist says I have
cognitive distortions brought on by extreme anxiety, but the way he said it makes
me feel like he's mad at me. Well, that's exactly what
a cognitive distortion is. When you do not give charitable thinking, you make assumptions, and you mind read. Those are two proper examples
of cognitive distortions. I believe this chicken stuffer
is made by Pampered Chef, because it's really durable
and seems to be high quality. My mom always used it to
hold the chicken open, while she put the stuffing in. It works really good, but
I'm not much of a cook. That is what we used to
perform vaginal exams. Pap smears. My younger residents struggle with pap smears in using the speculum. Like oftentimes I have
to make some adjustments. Like when they put the
speculum in, they open it. So you get a good field of
view, which is important. And then in taking it out, they do what the rational thing is or the common sense thing. They say close it before taking it out. So you don't take out an open speculum. But also when you do this, you can slam some of the,
and pinch some of the tissue. So you got to close it a little
bit, but gently take it out. Can you imagine how much that hurts? - [Cameraman] God bless you ladies. - Again, check out my
interview with Dr. Paul Offit. Such a good conversation. He makes it so easy to understand. And him and I align on a lot of points. Check it out. You're definitely going to enjoy it. As always stay happy and healthy. (funky upbeat music)
