- I'm a doctor, these are memes. I'm about to dissect them. (air whooshing) Huge thank you to Thrive Market
for sponsoring this video. "How much do you overthink?" Yo, they keep me up at night because they're like,
"Select all the automobiles." And then I see a tractor in one of them. And I'm like, "Is this a trick?" In fact, if you're riding
down the street on a tractor, you could be like a heliobacter. Yo, got that heliobacter on the tractor. I'm going to change it and
give you that intrinsic factor. Oh.
(beeping) "If you're a doctor and don't
point at your food and say, "'That's just what the doctor ordered,'" "whenever you're at a restaurant, "you need to have your
medical license revoked." That's so good. I have never used that line before. And you know what I'm doing tonight? I'm going to go downstairs,
get my Amazon order that's delivered and be like, "That's just what the doctor ordered." "A second great reason
to not eat uranium." "How many calories in uranium." "20 billion calories?" Isn't uranium like radiotoxic? I think the problem that you would have is that it's radioactive,
not the 20 billion calories. That's all I'm trying to put out there, so don't eat uranium. Like I've seen too many
movies where they're like, "Oh my God, the uranium." (gentle jazz music) "I accidentally swallowed
a bunch of Scrabble tiles." "Your next trip to the
bathroom could spell disaster." (laughs)
(thumping) Quality, fatherly joke. Dad Jokes, "I saw a microbiologist today. "He was much bigger than I expected." Okay, Dad, very punny. Why is there no field of macrobiology? I guess that would be just biology. "I'm on a diet. "I used to eat six slices
of pizza, now I eat three." Health, health, health, hulth, health, health, health, hulth. "German word for birth control pills." "Birth control pills," "Antibabypillen." No, it's not. No, it's not. It is not antibabypillen. I'm fact-checking it. Oh my God, someone wrote
something, "Antibabypillen." No.
- [Computer] Antibabypillen. - Antibabypillen, yo, it's a word. It has a Wikipedia page. (laughing) - [Sam] Well, what do you know? - Why are we calling it
birth control in America? We should call it anti baby pill. Also known as (in foreign language). (beeping) "Pack a bag. "Just the essentials." Explosion, "God, I'm starving." Lavender-
(laughs) Those are not essentials. Those are essential oils. Not the same thing. I'm grabbing water, first aid kit, Bear. - [Sam] Himalayan salt lamp? - No, that's heavy. I don't want to bring ... Actually, actually, Himalayan
salt lamp might be good. If someone attacks me, you
can kind of fight with it. - [Sam] You could lick it, for nutrients. - No, "When you accidentally "take two Flintstones gummy
vitamins instead of one "because they were stuck together." (laughs) This is Winnie the Bear. "Doctor: 'The disease is gone.' "Mother: 'That's great news. "'When will I see my healthy son?' "'I just told you that
the disease is gone.'" No, why am I laughing? I shouldn't be laughing. No.
- [Sam] Is that the kind of joke you would make with a patient? - No, if you watch my meme reviews, I'm curious how you think
I am in my bedside manner? Do you think I'm just a savage? "New password, Peewoop, weak. "Imitating computer noises, strong." (mumbling) It wouldn't ever just be "Peewoop." It would be like
"PeEwOoP987987986985984up-arrow, %$. Good luck cracking that
"Peewoop" password. "Results are in. "You have Tom Jones syndrome." "Is it rare?" ♪ It's not unusual ♪ Right, that's what we're doing? The Carlton dance. - [Sam] You got it.
- Okay. "Her: 'How much would it cost?' "Dog: '$3,000 or your shoe.' "Her: 'My shoe?' "Do you want the operation or not?" I'll take your bone. "When you overhear some teens
referencing to 90s music "as classics and oldies." It's so true though. I mean, I listened to
"Backstreet Boys" the other day and I was like, "Wow, this is like ... "Why did they stop making
quality music like this?" And then I reminded myself that it's absolutely not quality music and it's just quality 'cause
I was 10 when I heard it and it meant something to me because I had a girl break
up with me when she was 10 and I was 10. And I was like-
(grunts) (beeping) Back to the memes in just a second, but first, let me tell
you about Thrive Market. It's an online marketplace
where you can save money and get amazing products. My patients always rightfully complained about trying to eat healthy
or get responsible products, saying that they're just too pricey. I hear that. The beauty of Thrive Market is the thousands of products
with guaranteed savings. Home, beauty, even pet products for Bear and they come with a
price match guarantee. One of my favorite parts is when you're browsing the website, you can organize it based
on the diet or value that's important to you. Paleo, vegan, keto, it's all there. And all the orders are delivered with carbon-neutral shipping and their warehouses are zero waste. A part of Thrive Market's
mission to become the world's first climate
positive grocery store. Choose whatever membership
fits your lifestyle. One or 12 month packages. For me, I think the 12 month package, at just five bucks a month,
is a really reasonable choice. And that's the one I recommend
for my friends and family. If you join today, you get
25% off your first order and a free gift. All you have to do is
visit the link down below, thrivemarket.com/doctormike. Remember Dr. Mike is spelled out. And if you sign up for a full
year, it's 30 days risk-free. All right, let's get back to the memes. "How to get flexible in five minutes." "How to fix a pulled muscle-" (laughs)
(claps) Ah, it's so true. Anything related to exercise, getting stronger, getting
faster, breathing deeper, becoming flexible, becoming
good at meditation. All of this you cannot do in five minutes. Enjoy the process, not
just the end result. Kind of becoming more and more Buddhist with each meme episode. "Battlestar Sciatica."
(laughs) That's really good. I don't mean to laugh at people's pain, but this is a funny meme situation here. Doctors and patients alike,
like to lump all back pain into the sciatica category. It's not all sciatica, number one. Number two, sciatica
can be quite dangerous if it's truly impinging
on your spinal cord. The prognosis for the different
injuries are different. So don't jump to conclusions. Make sure your doctor
does a full physical exam because if it's not sciatica, there might be different treatment. Like if you have a kidney
stone causing low back pain, that wouldn't require physical therapy. You dig? "Did you know? "Rub a bit of olive oil and Epsom salt "on the painful spots in your body "and it will immediately
feel greasier and saltier." Facts, the most accurate
meme medical piece of advice I've ever seen. I should tattoo this on my body. A billion likes. Get a billion likes on this video, I'm tattooing this on my body. "Doctor: 'Your wife is in a better place.' "Husband: 'In heaven?' "'No, in my apartment.'" What is with this savagery, man? (laughing) No, no, this is not okay. This belongs on "Grey's Anatomy"
memes, not on my Reddit. This doctor took care
of this person's wife and made sure she was better and she was recovering in his apartment. Sam thought something else. I'll just put that there. - [Sam] I think we both
agree that's what happened. (beeping)
- "Removing objects "from stab wounds will
increase the blood loss "and thus it will increase the
chance of that person dying. "Leave that object be, and
don't try to remove it." Facts, I've said this many times in my medical drama reviews. "I removed it from my friend's wound, "but I remembered your
post and put it back. "Thanks for the information." The purpose of not taking it out is so that it holds the bleeding. If you take it out and you put it back in, you're creating more bleeding. The person's gonna bleed. You're stabbing your friend. I have Bear hair. I'll just swallow it. (gentle jazz music) I really like this Thrive snack 'cause it's 130 calories per serving. (crunching) "Worst thing about
getting the vaccine shot "was when I had to take off
my 'Blink-182' sweatshirt "and everyone saw I was also
wearing a 'Blink-182' t-shirt." And then you had to take off the t-shirt and you had a tattoo of
"Blink-182" below it. I get it, all the small things. (clapping) "Nurse giving me vaccine: "'Be sure you drink lots of fluids.' "Me: 'That's literally all I drink.'" Level 1,000 big brain play. "I've been diagnosed." "What's wrong?" He has a diagonal nose. (laughing)
(beeping) "How the da Vinci robot looks like." "How kids see the da Vinci machine." It honestly could be one of
the most frightening pieces of medical technology. If you combine the da Vinci robot with Elon Musk's dream AI robot thing, it's honestly my nightmare. "I want this zit to go away. "Maybe I should turn
it into an open wound." Honestly, there's something
about watching a zit pop that is utterly pleasurable
to the inside of our bodies. Like it's almost an
alien wanting to escape. You try to avoid doing
this as much as possible 'cause by picking at it, you could actually create an infection. You can create scars. There's all these issues that come up when you pop your own pimples. "In 1989, Mario was just a
plumber," and Dr. Mike was born. "In 1990, he started a medical practice. "That's a problem. "A minimum of seven years is required "to become an independently
practicing doctor. "If you or a loved one were
ever treated by Dr. Mario, "you may be entitled to compensation. "All prescriptions and
doctor's note he has written "are fraudulent and must be stopped." Better get LegalEagle on
board to fact check this. Could be malpractice, suing Nintendo. "Where does it hurt?" "Headache, stomach, no one
does chest compressions." It does hurt when no one
does chest compressions, but it also doesn't hurt 'cause if you need chest compressions, that means you're clinically dead and you don't feel anything, so. Cute, cute, cute, but inaccurate. "This is called 100%
customer satisfaction." "How to Sleep Well." As a doctor, I'm going to
diagnose this image right now. It looks like it's
nighttime in this image. It's 8:00 PM. What shouldn't you be doing at 8:00 PM? Napping, because when you nap at 8:00 PM, you try and go to sleep at
night, you can't fall asleep. Instead of napping,
while holding this book, she should read the book and learn that you shouldn't nap so close to bedtime because it'll affect
your sleeping patterns. Facts, no printer. "Salesman: 'Do you want that cord?'" "Customer: 'No, I want Discord.'" You want to be on our Discord? That's linked down below. We have a private Discord and
Patreon for super cool peeps that pay $9.99 a month. And guess what we donate
all that $9.99 a month? To charity, and you choose which charity. "I morphed my two favorite
doctors on YouTube." Oh, Dr. K, oh my god. Interesting face, that face on the bottom looks like two humans
faces morphed together, not like an individual human. Shout out to Dr. K. I hope he's doing well. I heard he was battling with some COVID, so we're sending him positive vibes. "Are you DownToDate?" "And that's when I ordered
toradol instead of morphine." "I love that we can speak
medicine to each other." "Try DownToDate, the first
dating app exclusively "for physicians, by physicians." Is this like UpToDate? UpToDate is the medical software we use to get our knowledge base up. So I guess DownToDate is like
the opposite of UpToDate. It's nerdy, but it's cute. UpToDate is legit. I'm a member. These are seven bad doctors. Click here to check that out. And huge thank you to Thrive Market again for sponsoring this video. Click the link down below to
get 25% off your first order and a free gift. As always, stay happy and healthy. (upbeat music)
