Doctor, I'm NOT the Father! | Professionals Stories #47

doctors have you ever witnessed the meltdown of a birth that was clearly a result of a cheating spouse what was the aftermath it wasn't at the birth but i used to work for a urologist who did vasectomies he did a vas on a guy then did the requisite three month and six month semen analysis follow-up tests to make sure it worked the six-month test showed no sperm so the guy was all set to not father children fast forward two years and he calls my surgeon fuming ranting and raving about how he fricked up the vasectomy and now his wife is pregnant so doc orders another semen analysis of course it comes back totally negative a very awkward conversation ensued in the exam room that i'd have paid anything to eavesdrop on the best part is the couple left the office pee off with the wife sticking to her story that she would never cheat on her husband and the husband in complete denial that she'd ever lie about that last i heard they were gearing up to see you or something but i don't work there anymore so i don't know what happened not 100 how semen analysis tests go but i just laughed out loud at the thought of some dude angrily fapping away like not my kid i'll show you these stories remind me of something i experienced firsthand the day after my son was born the nurse so your baby's blood type is a wife like me nurse and daddy me no i'm a plus nurse you must be mistaken that combination isn't possible nurse i i'll leave you guys to it me pulls out phone and frantically googles baby blood type combinations the nurse was wrong props for checking first before attacking your wife d a patient asked if both possible fathers could be in her c-section so that neither would miss the birth of his child they'd figure out the details later a friend went though it he went down a dark path of drugs and we'd lost touch after a big fight about how he was fricked up all the time and he was wasting his life he contacted me out of the blue to stay that i was right he needed to step up and be responsible and that he had quit everything cold turkey because he was going to be a dad apparently he was going to help his girl get sober and they were going to have this kid and get married he really got his crap together over the course of the pregnancy he was clean got a job and got a nice place to live she was not so dedicated she continued to use m pills and age throughout the pregnancy she ended up going into labor early at 26 weeks she gave birth to a premature addicted baby boy he went directly into the niku she stayed in the hospital and visited the niku until she was released she then disappeared she never visited the baby never called to check on it didn't go home just fell off the face of the planet he however spent every spare second at the niku with that baby however as the weeks passed it became pretty obvious that the baby wasn't is a skin tone even out and hair came in chick was blonde with blue eyes my friend is super pale blonde with blue eyes the baby was clearly half hispanic he wanted to adopt the baby but they wouldn't let him the state took it and it went into foster care it totally fricked him up for a long time he relapsed for a while and got into a bad car accident he spent some time in the hospital and then got everything back together he's married now to a really nice girl and rapidly had four kids that are his with another currently on the way i find it heartbreaking that they wouldn't let him adopt the baby instead of going to her father who desperately wanted him they chucked the poor child into a dysfunctional system not a doctor but still a relevant story when i was born my father was 100 certain that i was not his because his blood type and my mom's blood type couldn't have produced me he punched a hole in the wall in the hospital and yelled at my mom refusing to sign the birth certificate because i have a plus blood my mom has zero neg and he was positive that he had abneg because that's what his brand new dog tags said he was in the army at the time turns out they misprinted his dog tags all his old tags said a positive tl dr a typo on my dad's army issue dog tags almost caused my parents to divorce to be fair a misprint like that could kill him in other ways i'm not a doctor but when my godson was born the nurse told us about this guy who had gotten two girls pregnant at the same time they both wound up at that hospital just down the hall from each other giving birth hours apart what a lucky guy when my mother was giving birth to my little sister my paternal aunt was also giving birth to my cousin in the same hospital my dad was back and forth between the two rooms often enough to get some looks from hospital staff my friend was a delivery nurse for the hospital that all high-risk pregnancies go to they are extremely busy and she has brought a lot of people into the world she once delivered a baby in the parking lot by herself this has come up on a weekly basis but she shared the best story with us a caucasian couple come in and the mother is in labor when the dude is filling out paperwork the mother takes the doctor aside she tells him there is a chance that the baby made a different race than the father and to let her know as soon as the baby is born the baby is born the doctor turns to the mother and announces loudly congratulations on your white baby boy i imagine a black couple overhearing that and saying dang we need to find a new doctor this is fun my wife's cousin's third came out black she's married to the pastiest irish guy you can find their marriage did not end but this has created an interesting story grandma tells everyone that he is just really native american her husband was one stroke too native he is now 15 and still no one in the family will admit that he's black late to the party but one of my colleagues in anesthesia once placed an epidural in a heavily tattooed lady apparently she had steve's lunchbox tattooed above her vagina she gave birth the ob gin turned to the father in the room and said congratulations steve the guy stated my name isn't steve no meltdowns or anything just an awkward moment yet another reason to not get a person's name tattooed on yourself i hope i'm not too late my mom is a labor and delivery nurse one time she had a patient whose parents were present during her stay at the hospital the staffer have a white board with some general information about the patients like blood type time spent in the wing and like how far along this information is nameless for hipaa reasons and instead has a patient's number so this patient happened to be the only one in the wing at the time her father was walking back from the cafeteria at one point and noticed the board he stopped one of the nurses and asked if the blood type for the patient on the board was correct he knew his daughter was the only patient there it was b-plus the nurse confirmed it was correct turns out he knew his and his wife's blood type he was o plus and his wife was a this combination will never yield a b-plus baby he brings his wife out and just points at the board in this look of shock washes over her tl doctor father of patient and labor finds out his wife cuck-holded him 25 years later by knowing his blood type punnett squares late to the party and i am not a doctor but i am white and my wife is black i am frog belly florescent white think ginger light my wife is earthy brown no one would ever describe her as light-skinned we have a daughter she had a difficult labor and our daughter was delivered via c-section she did not really get to see our daughter immediately after delivery later in our room she was dozing and they brought our daughter in my relatives and my wife's relatives all commented on how my daughter looked so much like me and was not even close to the pigmentation of my wife so i carried my daughter over to my wife and gently woke her and showed her our daughter and said i do not think she's yours we all had a good laugh my friend told me this story of hers woman and her husband were having their first child and it was the friend's first ever delivery objen when she got the baby out she looked at it then looked at the parents and asked okay which of you has six fingers the mother broke down crying yelling i'm sorry to the husband their neighbor apparently had six fingers when my wife was born she was very yellow and the nurse quietly asked her mom about the paternity when her dad was out of the room she was just born with a bad case of jaundice and that nurse was an idiot not a doctor but my best friend's step-brother was that guy who found out he wasn't the father because the baby was black i'll try to make it short dude had gone to rehab twice and was doing really really well he came back home for a weekend and fricked his ex gf left and went back to his house states away to continue his newfound life got the call she was pregnant and dropped everything to come back and be a father we were really worried he would relapse but he was great so nine months of preparation goes by he was gonna be an awesome dad all worried about relapsing were gone and he seemed ready to become the best dad he could ever be a baby comes out everybody is happy nurse takes him aside after a few minutes and says i want to ask you something you do know that's not your kid right he says what do you mean well that baby is at least half black but the pigments are probably going to really darken so he goes over to his ex gf and asks if there's any ways what the nurse just told him is true she starts sobbing and breaks down completely admits that she freaked a black guy right around time he came back so he says all right i'm glad you and the baby are healthy have a nice life walks into the waiting room where all the new grandparents are waiting cheers celebration everything good yep healthy baby healthy mom i'm not the father i'm out of here and walked right out the freaking door the girl's parents even wanted him to pay and support he moved back to where he got his life back together and is doing incredibly well but man i wish he had all that time back at least he only wasted nine months if she had banged a white guy they may not have noticed for 18 years i'm way late to the party with this one but it's about my mum she had my brother when she was only 16 and had a very hard birth with him back in that time the husband wasn't allowed in the labor room and my grandma was at work when my brother was born he got stuck so they had to use forceps and he was also jaundice so he looked like an asian baby my grandma turns up after work and is looking at all the babies in the room they were kept and asks which one was her daughter's baby the nurse points to my brother and him looking all asian my grandma storms up to my mum on the ward and said which asian guy did you sleep with well my mum thought she was joking so she said i don't know it was too dark to see my grandma then proceeded to hit my mum until the nurse came in and explained my brother is now 44 and as white as white can be well my mum thought she was joking so she said i don't know it was too dark to see your mother's a champion for having such a sense of humor after a difficult birth i might be the first medical professional to post in this thread hot dang so i'm a nico nurse that was floating to the nursery a baby was born with a genetic abnormality had one missing limb but was otherwise doing fine the pediatrician was in the parents room discussing with them the follow-up type stuff for the baby appointments with a geneticist an orthopedic surgeon etc at some point in the conversation the mother asked what the baby's blood type was to which the pediatrician responded a plus the father of the baby insisted that was impossible as he and his wife this was their third baby were both oh the pediatrician got totally flustered and came back to the nursery to verify the lab results baby really was a plus we even went so far as to redraw the baby's blood and retest it nope a plus there is absolutely no chance that the baby belonged to that man the husband left the hospital soon after and didn't show up again until it was time to pick up the mom and baby to bring them home the mom spent the rest of the hospital stay lying alone in the dark mostly hiding under the covers my aunt is white and so was her husband he passed a while ago when they finally had a kid my cousin was black the family decided to ignore it my uncle included this was in 1989 and to gain my young teen cooperation i got an early christmas gift a sega genesis love my cousin my parents both have blood typo plus while mine is a plus i asked my mom about it when i was learning the basics of genetics in the sixth grade and she said that the doctor had told her it was some sort of rare mutation however now that i'm older and have remembered it i'm going to ask her about it again since i'm pretty sure that my dad wouldn't know the importance of blood types and i'm positive my mom would have lied in order to make sure i had a good dad update my mom texted me back according to her both she and my dad are definitely typo plus so there goes the forgetting of the blood type theory apparently my dad did know enough at the time of my birth to request a dna test before he signed the birth certificate and it came back as a 99.8 match which he only told my mother about after the fact the cool part is that the same thing supposedly happened with my paternal grandmother who also had type a blood but was conceived by two type o parents there is always a small chance that my mother is being untruthful but i don't see why she would be at this point since i'm grown plus my dad and i share similar physical features i hope you all enjoyed the update update 2 thank you to whoever guilded me i'm blonde and the hubs is ginger our daughter came out with black hair and jaundice so she looked very jersey shore those first pics of us as a family are hilarious after about two weeks her hair turned to an organ and her skin tone is pale like us i won't lie for a second i wondered if the husband had cheated not me but this was an odd one that i heard because i casually knew one of the parents the father to be exact he came in freaking out because his wife had a kid well he was white she was white kid was born a dark milatto he instantly dumps her and starts filing for divorce she has no idea what the heck happened she forces a dna test on him before she'll do anything three months later well turned out it was his kid her parents his parents everyone thinks he is in but his mother apparently had a black grandmother so the jeans came through extra strong somehow in their kid so many generations down the line it's safe to say they are going through a heck of a lot of therapy she never cheated on him and he never believed her despite all her serious protests been about a year now and it's better but still not perfect i volunteered at a hospital and a mexican couple had a very black baby the guy was pee and basically said it was while he was in jail was in jail wasn't it well if he was in jail then how did she get pregnant by him this happened in my immediate family my mother is white mix american brown hair and green eyes married a full-blooded japanese man my two younger brothers and i are very very obviously half jab i got the black hair brown eyes and a slight cast to my eyes my brothers look jab as frick in the face with brown hair moms and lighter eyes after the third kid things weren't going so hot with my mother and father lots of fights lots of nights where i would wake up at the age of five and find my dad slept on the couch mum gets pregs again even though they only had sex once after my youngest brother was born their relationship continues to deteriorate during the pregnancy the big day comes out comes my baby sister last of the bunch my sister was born white with a shock of bright red hair and a very pale complexion and no [ __ ] features at all my father's best friend was a tall danish red-headed dude it took my father about 36 hours to put two and two together he confronted my mother in the hospital and she admitted she'd been freaking his best friend behind his back since before my youngest brother was born divorce happened not long after that my father ran the frick away from allah that bulls funny thing i didn't realize my sister was from another father until i was 16 years old and my girlfriend asked why my sister looked nothing like me and my brothers i asked my mother and got the full story to this day she's not my half-sister she's my sister we grew up together and she my sis i'm her eldest bro but yeah it ended the marriage more or less on the spot japan's frick in the face this will probably get buried but here it is anyways my gf's uncle let's call him jay has three children boy girl boy the two oldest are brunette olive skinned look very alike and have very computational brains they look very much like their father's children the youngest child is blonde fair-skinned looks nothing like his siblings and has almost no computational element to his brain so right after this kid was born jay thought something about him was a bit different just from the blonde hair and pale skin he didn't immediately accuse his wife of infidelity but his ears were pinned back he ends up catching her having an affair within a short period they reconcile their differences but it only lasts so long when their youngest kid is about four she leaves him for her partner in crime he is the blondest palest mofo of all time and works in real estate jay fights for custody of all three children and wins he knows his second son isn't his but he doesn't give a crap he told my gf's mom that he always knew things didn't add up but he will always love him as his son and treat him as such even if there is no dna shared between them my parents cat had five kittens two all black three all orange there is a black male stray and an orange male stray in the neighborhood she looked a little ashamed maybe just one of cat's magical superpowers lady cats can get pregnant off of two different fathers unlike humans they can have separate but pretty close to timely separate inseminations resulting in kits that resemble each of their respective fathers same with dogs also i'm told my dad was a doctor he never told me about any meltdowns but he told me they would deliver a lot of babies for unprepared parents teenagers moms and dads with obvious drug or alcohol problems legal problems etc generally not ready to raise a kid for every one of these risky couples it was usually teen parents who were 16 or 17 he would take a picture of the new mom and dad together holding the new baby a couple hours after the birth and then a few weeks later he would send the picture to them with a short note about how they will make great parents and the baby is counting on them and just inspiring words in general he has a whole photo album of the new moms and dads holding their baby in the delivery room when he was a doctor and i have to say it is some outstanding photography amazing stuff wow that actually sounds pretty incredible not a doctor but have a similar story to some people here met a girl when i was 19 who was always hanging out at my next door neighbor's house they were mexicans the first day i met her we wound up sleeping together yes i used protection every time we dated for about a month and during this time she made friends with some of my friends what ended the relationship was that she thought one of my friends was now her bestie and decided to tell her that the whole reason she was with me is that she got pregnant by one of the mexicans next door and that her family is highly racist so she knew that would not fly she picked me as it appeared that i had my crap together was repairing building selling computers and had planned on lying to me and claiming it was mine turned out the day she found out she was pregnant was the day she decided to hook up with me and why she slept with me immediately so the timeline could be blurred my friend asked what if i noticed that the kid is not pale white like mother and father or she replied that at that point she did not care because she hoped she would get me on the hook to pay for things for the baby and everything else and if i noticed and walked away she was still winning by having those things my friend immediately told her to go frick herself and told me asap about what was going to happen you think this would end here but it did not she wound up informing her family she was pregnant and that i was the father they then proceeded to lay a campaign of terror on me because at this point they are considering me a deadbeat dad they did not listen to me when i tried to explain who the father really was because their daughter is not a liar i got death threats from the father and brothers on regular basis windows smashed out of my car slashed tires pretty much scared to leave my place since they only lived four blocks away from me during all this time the mexican family moved out of the area overnight left owing the landlord several thousand and rent and a demolished rental house i don't think anyone knew where they moved to as even the landlord came over to our place asking many questions and trying to track them down for a lawsuit after around the timeline the baby should have been born the harassments from the family magically stopped and i never heard or saw of them again i can only assume they got the point when the kid was born i wouldn't be surprised if the doctor who delivered me and my sister three years prior didn't write here saying indian dad white mom kid came out white mum definitely cheated but the dad must having been having a meltdown on the inside although i've looked it up out of curiosity and apparently skin color is a genetic lottery when the parents are of different races not exactly what you're looking for but made me think of another story i used to work as a loan officer at a bank and one of my co-workers was helping a woman dispute some charges on her account she was going through the charges and she was saying we haven't bought anything at a jewelry store and i haven't gotten any flowers from my husband and i certainly haven't gotten any luxury or a night at a nice hotel all these charges must be fraudulent my co-worker was very gently trying to tell her that the charges were made with her husband's card did she check with him is she sure no one made those purchases etc you could see the realization come over the woman's face and she slammed her hands down on the desk and started screaming i'm gonna kill that son of a bee security escorted her out and a few days later the husband was in asking to open a separate account what and but the worst meltdowns i ever saw had nothing to do with skin color some backwards but cultures you had to call security if some poor lady gives birth to a girl can confirm am indian happens a lot here ironically enough i'm reading this from the maternity ward right now seven pounds five ounces looks like me thank god congrats hope you didn't like sleep my husband raised a kid that was very obviously not his kid was born and was half back and he kept his cool went outside to smoke a cigarette and throw up married the woman had another kid this time his got divorced when the second kid was two lots of ups and downs with the first kid she turns 20 this year and they get along pretty well right now yes woman admitted to hospital on christmas eve with abdo pain after she fell over p as a fart routine pregnancy test was positive and the doctor thought that she was either a bit plumper about 30 weeks pregnant which she was oblivious to transferred to obstetrics due to ongoing pain which turned out to be contractions her sister comes in while i'm just writing in her notes asks about her partner who apparently was on deployment with army until a month ago he is already on the way he knew she was pregnant but not 30 weeks he arrives she pretty much just coughs and out comes her baby eight weeks pre-term but not bad condition considering he quickly puts two and two together and realizes it's clearly not his she genuinely doesn't even know what's happening as she is still drunk he just leaves and i presume never went back now that he can see what a mess of a partner he has the next day i review her on postnatal ward and she is discharged although her baby is staying in so she will as well she asks me what happened she has literally no idea she was pregnant admit to having slept with someone but can't remember who and doesn't remember her partner showing up and dumping her i felt sorry for her and her child she might see this as a massive wake-up call and turn her life around but she had everything stacked against her single unemployed mother with a baby she was totally unprepared for sorry it's not really a funny story we did call it the christmas miracle but that's about it if you are new to the channel you can subscribe i publish new videos every day until then check another video so bye for now

Channel: Updoot Studios

Views: 35,478

Rating: 4.9649463 out of 5

Keywords: doctor, birth, hospital, doctor stories, meltdowns, not the father, medical stories, doctors stories, #updootst, updoot, updoot reddit, updoot everything, reddit on tap, toadfilms, pewdiepie, reddit, askreddit, funny reddit, reddit stories, top posts, reddit top posts, reddit cringe, comedy, reddit compilation, r/, r/askreddit, top posts of r/, askreddit reading, best reddit posts, top posts of all time, people of reddit, askreddit question, ask reddit, subreddit, sub, reddit stories 2021

Id: SXw0qi19OEI

Length: 26min 34sec (1594 seconds)

Published: Thu Apr 15 2021