Top of the morning to you laddies My name is Jacksepticeye and welcome to Cooking Mama: Mama kills animals. You know, fun for the whole family Everybody can get in on this. This is the unauthorized PETA Edition though. It's not to be associated with the actual PETA edition where mama kills every single animal. This is only mama killed some animals, so let's uh, let's "cook" created by PETA wait Was this actually created by PETA? This is confusing? I don't know what's happening, but I didn't really know what this is. Prepare the turkey Okay, pluck the turkey. Click on the feathers to put them from the dead turkey. Okay, no- Why are you so angry? Lighten up! Smile. It's time for that POSTIVITE MENTAL ATTIUDE, mama! Come on! PMA! PMA! You can do it mama, I believe in you! Alright starter-oo, Oh where's my fucking hand? Oh my god. Why is- Why is there like not a single fucking frame rate in this game? You're grabbing a whole bunch of them. What is happening?? Oh, I failed It's because I don't have a frame rate. Okay. It runs a bit better now. Okay, pull the fucking- Pull the feather away! What is happening? Okay getting all the feathers this time. Okay? I got it. I got it this time absolutely fucking vonderful WOOOO YEAH! I'm very mean! Meaner than mama! Mama's happy , mama's proud of me Mama brought home a baby puppy for me one time and I pulled out his fur off, she was proud of me. Okay, remove the internal organs. Don't mind if I do mama Stick your hand inside the turkey, remove the organs, and place them into the mixing bowl I told you, fun for the whole family! If this fucking chair could stop floating around like I'm on a boat It'd be great. Okay. Wait. What was I supposed to do? uhmm Okay Okay, removing all the goody bits. Make sure you get the giblets now! Don't want those to be left in there I'm good at this when it comes to killing animals Thanks guys. Thanks. Thanks everybody. This is a horrifying game Complete! At least the animals are already dead Maybe? Is that a consolation? What mama never told you, In the U.S., almost all birds have their throats slit while they're still conscious and according to the US Department of Agriculture, millions are scalded to death in tanks of hot water (uhm...ok...) That's pretty rough. Okay, well let's just continue on then shall we and question our morals in life Crack the eggs Pick up the eggs, crack them, and deposit them into the bowl. I almost couldn't read that. The only crack the egg i know is the game you play in the trampoline where you sit in a ball and everybody else has to bounce you around Okay, okay. Here we go *bonk bla* Yes *bonk* Why is there blood coming out of them? Are you trying to tell me that I'm killing little tiny chickens inside this? The feathers come out as well Boy mama you sure do make it pretty easy to commit god-awful actions See, this is why Mama's mean. She's seen some shit, and she doesn't have a fucking P.M.A. POSITIVE. MENTAL. ATTITUDEEEE *cough cough* Remember that. Oh I didn't even see what it was. Oh fuck Okay, this is actually fairly easy There we go, there we go This is not good for my- Wait what? Oh I am fucking doing that It's not good for my diet you know Okay, there was way too much..... Carcass in that. I'm gonna choke on those bones and die I think mama would actually be pretty happy about that. Would you mama? Good Ship Lollipop *i have no clue what the fuck he just said* (Me either bro) {Good ship lollipop- It's a really old song by Shirly Temple, guys. XD} Stuff the bird. Grab the stuffing, then drag it over the turkey and release. Be careful not to use too much! What are you trying to say mama? I think I can't stuff a turkey? Think I can't stuff a bird? Uh turkey stuffing is fuckin good though. Not when it's covered in blood and feces though. I love me a stuffed turkey as much as the next person- uh-oh, uh-oh, Uh-Oh, UH-OH Was I meaner than mama? Keep going. Too nice? How dare- I'll fuckin- I'll show you mama. I can start- I can do this better Watch this mama. Watch this shit. Watch your boy go! Watch him fuck up this dead bird, okay? What up? See, all I needed was a little bit of discipline from mama, her holding up that knife Mama what you got? A knife!!! No! Alright, remove the head. Okay. *pop*
Oh I can move her around a small bit Remove the head. Follow the guide arrows on the screen to saw back and forth to remove the head *random noises* Poor turkey Oh nooo EH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH That wasn't even that hard Poor turkey. Poor Turkleton Cook the turkey. Turn on the oven by pressing the "on" button. Oh well no f-fuck her and turn it off when the temperature reaches orange. Let me guess, I turn it "off" at the orange off button? Orange butt? Okay press it "on" with on button, turn it off when it reaches orange, okay. *Bonk* BOOM! PERF- Too nice?! What do you mean too nice?! I did exactly what you said. Is that good? Too ni- Turn off when the temperature reaches the orange Okay, did this is kind of brownie orange That's perfect! Meaner than mama! So they always want in life. I want to be meaner than mama. I don't want to just do things half-assed I want to be the meanest and narliest, awesomest person there is And I achieved that with my POSITIVE MENTAL ATTITUDE Sorry I know screaming it at you isn't the right way of going about it, but sometimes some tough loving is all it takes Did I do it? Did I- did I prepare Thanksgiving? What mama never told you. Turkeys are drugged and bred to grow so quickly that their legs cannot support their weight Countless birds slowly starve to death within inches of food after they become crippled and are unable to move All I asked is to play some video games I didn't wanna get sad. Make the giblet I thought a giblet was something you removed from the turkey This, I would call this gravyyyyyyyyyy Chop the neck. Follow the guide arrows on screen- I already did this Why? *Aye-ya-ya* Oh, Harry Potter! Okay okay okay okay There we go Some slice and dice Mr. Turkeyman. I'm sorry for all the pain I have caused you, even though I'm pretty sure he's way beyond pain. Sauté the body parts. Turn on- you know what? Don't even need to. You don't even need to listen to this. Watch, turn it on boom boom boom This looks fucking gross Why would anyone eat that? Would you eat that mama? Yeah of course. Your mouth's always open, you just throw some in there Strain the gravy. Oh now you call it gravy. It's not called giblet no more? Okay, you gotta remove all the lumpy bits Here we go. Here we go. Here we go, yes That is the most normal looking thing I have done in this game so far. I actually made some decent looking gravy Complete! That one even- *unintelligible mumbling* -take that long Meaner than mama 10x! Take that mama Each year in the U.S., 300 million turkeys are killed for their flesh Almost all spend their entire lives on factory farms and have no federal legal protections Okay, hit me with those actual facts mama Thanks to you, Mama has had a change of heart. You've unlocked the bonus level: Mama Loves Animals. We're gonna make vegetarian or vegan food Actually a vegan. Vegetarian isn't- Vegan is the one that would love animals more, I believe. Mash the tofu. Oh, this is nice See, it's not all about blood and guts. It had a positive message at the end, and you know why? positive mental attitudeeeee Mash the tofu! Mash the tofu! Oh, that was fun! Better than Mama. I'm not meaner than Mama anymore. Follow the arrows to shape the tofu. I sure will! Oh, yes. Oh, yes! Look at that beautiful bouncing ball of tofu goodness Mama, I'm gonna do you proud. I wanna do you so proud Mama Okay, you got to- we gotta take some juice and squirt the juice. Take the juice Squirt the juice. Take the juice, squirt the juice. Take some juice and you squirt the juice. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) I'm the best at making dinner. I'm good at making dinner. Ok same thing, but this time we were cooking a tofu ball God, that one stopped at the exact time. The other ones try to fucking delay. Come on Mama! Don't do me like this Mama! Not bad? Mama! Imma fucking show you "not bad". Here we go, here we go channel your inner Beast Fucking perfect Bellissimo!! and we did it That doesn't actually look that bad Pretty tasty. What Mama never told you this time. Turkeys have unique personalities just like dogs and cats. Some are social, and some are loners. We can all- we can all agree on that. Some of us are social. Some of us are loners. See? Turkeys are people too People who live with turkeys in animal sanctuaries report that they even have varying tastes in music . I want to hang out with the turkey that listens to BTS Exclusively BTS and maybe a bit of little turkey that listens to some heavy metal. You stick the two of them together. We have a perfect turkey Ahh, I finished it And Mama's happier than she's ever been! Because of you, Mama loves animals. That's you. You out there. Because you were using the Positive Mental Attitude (Tell them boy) Now that you've seen just how gross it is to kill an innocent turkey... Take the pledge to be a Veg Huh So it actually had a point at the end of it all. I thought this was just a gruesome game where we went through and we had like a little turkey snuff movie that we were making. And we destroyed a turkey from the inside out. Absolutely mangle it to pieces but no. Had a bit of a message at the end. Don't take the pledge and be a veg Well I hope you all learned something here today. Hope mama taught you something. It's not just about how much blood is on your knife But how much blood is in your heart as well. Anyway, thank you guys so much watching this video! If you liked it, Punch that like button in the face, LIKE A BOSS And... high fives all around *Whapish* *Whapish* But thank you guys and I'll see all of you dudes..... IN THE NEXT VIDEOOOOOOOO *outro music plays* I'm a little bit sick. I'm not at full capacity yet captain
