(Dean Martin Roasted) Don Rickles Host: Best Highlights 1976

it's a great thrill for me really tonight to be master ceremonies this is one of the great all-time thrills i've ever had i this is a bigger thrill than watching pat boone autograph hockey pucks during the ice fallings my wife barbara summed it up best uh earlier this evening she said to me she said really i think that's where my wife talks it's going to be an exciting evening but don't go by her she said that on our wedding night my wife told me to be polite to see by the way she'd be with us tonight my lovely wife barbara but unfortunately she swam in our pool today with her jewelry on and drowned tonight we are honoring our man of the hour dean mark you heard the applause dean i'd worry can you imagine him huh imagine him if he was in the infantry in world war ii attack oh i'm gonna go lay down first and so uh who are we honoring tonight a man who has trouble finding his legs [Music] this is quite a deus i haven't seen so many tuxedos since the osmond brothers had their annual prom isn't it beautiful dean look at all these beautiful people here to pay tribute to you the senator rich little paul lind on the end paul if you want to order do it now the kitchen's going to close sorry about your seat paul why don't you get a pillow so you can see us [Music] what an exciting night folks you can't believe i have chills just looking around seeing all these people senator goldwater sorry about the election [Music] so close you could have been the president we could have hung out together i feel bob i spoke to the technical company you're gonna blow up thursday [Music] bless you bob keep that image they don't know at home you run around your underwear going where's dolores you remember dolores the missus [Music] uh jimmy i spoke to the family you're doing well you're doing well jimmy spoke to the wife she's leaving you awesome let it right out we have a wonderful night we're going to honor dean martin ladies and gentlemen uh he's a great man dean has passed away about three years ago mohammed if you get a chance could you watch me no he's a great champion i remember when you fought your last fight he stood in the corner and said i'm winning hey listen it's it's such a great great thing to see all these wonderful guests dean to see how it cosell and i'll tell you how it from the bottom of my heart you can't even tell it's [Music] come on perfect i laughed at you when you lost [Music] the great state of iowa arizona votes maybe not the other side of me he's just going i'm from minnesota let's have a party [Music] it's like kids with senator you know how much you love look at a seat you got later on the senators do back in arizona to stand around in the highway going looking at a car [Music] i kid you senator goldwater i respect you jimmy i respect him good to see angie dickinson sitting next to joe namath when i blow a whistle yell hike anyway jimmy morning last night he fell into his own pants don't get me wrong there's a lot of reasons why we should honor this man tonight first of all he's italian and i love the italian people i'll never forget the word of karma and ganganzo who said to me in brooklyn on a saturday night [Music] look at this i'm making up names and gold waters writing them down but other people can work you over italians are fantastic people really they can work over an alley while singing an opera you ever watch them [Music] dean do you understand any of this if you do blink twice if you don't blink three times and let you go to the toy toy but it's your night boy it's your big night and i'm perspiring i'm getting malaria a japanese guy one goody goody orson wells ladies and gentlemen has been a great star for so many years this man was married to a great many women in his life they're all flat now [Music] but this is a great creative talent i cannot say enough about him i will not embarrass him i've made jokes about him because i've always believed when you're important that is my belief in life when you're important you're certainly open to ridicule and fun criticism this man is open mostly to fun certainly not ridicule he's a fantastic artist and i've never had the pleasure personally until tonight when i leaned over and i said mr wells i'm don rickles and he said who cares ladies and gentlemen thank you donald for that well-meant but rather pedestrian introduction regarding yourself i quote from the third part of shakespeare's henry vi act two scene one richard speaks where thy heart is hard as steel as thou has shown it plenty by thy deeds i come to pierce it or to give thee mine to translate into your own idiom donald you're a yo-yo [Applause] and now now i direct my remarks to dean martin who is being honored here tonight for reasons that completely elude me actually no i'm i'm not being fair to dean because no this is true in his way dean and i know him very well has the soul of a poet i'm told that in his most famous song dean off is a lyric which is so romantic so touching that it will be enjoyed by generations of lovers until the end of time let's share it together when the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie that's amore now that's what i call touching dean it has all the romanticism of a tidy bowl commercial when the world seems to shine like you have had too much wine that's amore what a profound thought should be inscribed forever on a cocktail napkin [Music] say there's more tippy tippy tay like a gay tarantella like a gay town teller apparently dean there's a side view we know nothing about it [Music] when the stars make you drool like a pesticide but you see back in old napoli that's amore no dean uh that's infirmal italian for sickening [Music] now lyrics like that lyrics like that ought to be issued with a warning a song like that is hazardous to your health ladies and gentlemen you're now looking at the end result and now ladies and gentlemen rolling right along with our bombastic review we have a great show for you tonight a guy that i've seen on hollywood squares many many times perry como discovered this guy in florida in a swamp sucking on a crocodile's neck [Music] he's a fantastic star he's been in my dressing room many times going i'm a fantastic star he just recently returned from guam where he was there waiting for the war to end the black guy went i didn't know the wall was dead on that polish kid went i did great artist mr pauline so you're the man of the hour i can't tell you what a thrill it is to be here the only thing i'd give this up for is being guest of honor at a flash flood i suppose i'm here because i did some of dean's variety shows they were television's first family hour if you happen to come from a broken family in case you're interested dean and i don't socialize very much we we have very different tastes i prefer museums gourmet cuisine legitimate stage dean likes bocce ball pizza and the pussycat theaters to him an intellectual discussion is analyzing the plots of gilligan's island and when it comes to culture forget it when dean went to the ballet and saw everyone up on their toes you know what he said why don't they just get taller girls i remember once going to a party at dean's house it was really quite unique all unique isn't exactly the word the word is tacky first of all he had me picked up in his private limousine a 50 000 mercedes benz with a plastic hula girl hanging from the mirror you should see some of the people they had working at the party this first time i'd ever seen valet car stripping half the guests were outside writing down the numbers of police cars you can always judge a person by the paintings in his house well the most tasteful picture i saw on dean's wall was an unsigned seascape from the good times motel but i got real lucky dean introduced me some of his personal friends carmine denny big louie lunzio and nails de la rosa that was his [Applause] priest ladies and gentlemen i'd like you to meet a gentleman who has to get in training for the big football season that's coming up next year he just finished a great year with the jets they finished the season one of the greatest quarterbacks of all time who said to the jets hurry it up there i got to meet this chick in about an hour they kid about joe being looking for women and searching and wandering he's now 32 years old and he's tired of sitting and looking in the mirror going hope this clears up [Music] went to alabama university we're all abroad hi joe skip it any day i don't care what bus i ride i'm going to ride it today [Music] they're coming broadway joe they can call almost anything under the sun when the game starts he's a champ joe namath thank you yeah i really am glad to be here tonight in fact after last season i'm glad to be anywhere it was so rough last season i may need another operation they want to remove some cartilage from my left knee and mean joe green's helmet from my chest rough season actually uh i do have a selfie selfish mode of being here tonight i just found out that one of the major studios wants to make my life story is a movie really the perfect one to play my part for my life is dean martin i mean why not for years i've been playing his [Music] dean would be perfect playing me he uh he even has my characteristics we're both broad-shouldered and broad-minded i'm known for the long bomb of course dean he's been bombed for a long time [Applause] dean a lot of your friends uh throughout the country uh couldn't be here at the mgm tonight however they sent some telegram which i'm going to read dear dean you're the only man i know who falls down more than i do signed president ford senator goldwater went not even there's a funny from general franco but we better not read that now [Music] here's one from the smithsonian institute thank you for considering us for your future donation but we have the livers of five dinosaurs that are in better condition than yours [Music] ladies and gentlemen the next lovely star that i'm about to introduce is the star of policewoman i i'm happily married i think of this lady often i i want to be with a soap ahead i love my wife but my wife is ill [Music] she's a lovely star she's known as pepper schmutzka dick whatever her name is pepper pepper pack whatever they call her i never miss the show i i use it for a nightlight when i fool around with my wife it's a great show number four in the country so you know how our country is going you but humpty went is there something wrong with the country [Music] all right forget about it i had my shot so i'd like to bring on this girl and when we bring her on let's have the whole deus attacker she's a lovely actress a policewoman is a is a great show isn't it a great show orson great you're in spain how would you know you're sitting around in spain going all right i'm sorry jimmy i woke you up i'm awfully sorry jimmy was taking a quick nap and we snapped him out anyway put you in a hot tub and watch your duck sink [Music] barry goldwater went now it's starting to roll [Music] what am i bid for this broad before i introduce you look at this the old guy went four dollars [Music] ladies and gentlemen without any further doing honor of our honored guests our of course honest gets too old to talk ladies and gentlemen sanji dickinson the next time you go to a delicatessen invite into a tongue sandwich dawn may it be your own tongue [Music] dean you know i've i've been a long time fan of yours even before rio bravo and i especially liked when you when you played matt helm that dashing spy or as we called you around the studio james bombed now listen you're so good as a detective in movies i thought maybe you could do an episode of policewoman i can just see us together pepper and schlepper [Music] you'd have the scripts tailored just you know for your image and talent we'd have the scene where you jump out of the car and you'd say okay up against the fender and i'm going to frisk you from head to toe and i oh i hope it's me [Music] and then we'd have the dramatic scene where you'd you'd come to me and you'd say pepper i'm quitting the force and i'd say why dean why why and you'd say they just gave me orders to go down to a back alley and take a pint away from a wino [Music] you see the dean that's police brutality [Music] and and then we'd get back in to our patrol car after i'd persuade you to stay on the force and we go to a neighborhood filled with people doing dangerous unpredictable things my my jaws are so dark okay this is an identical show just let's get back in the alley [Applause] ladies and gentlemen one of the champions of champions and he will go down in history i say that from my heart the great champion muhammad ali mr dean martin looking at you reassures me that when god created you he had a sense of humor i would like to give you some advice some good advice i'm not just don't give me your right that's all right it says the man who has no imagination stands on the earth he has no wings he cannot fly is that too heavy for you [Music] let's see how we call sail everybody you have an imagination i'm sure why is it that i'm the most famous the most successful the greatest fight of all times because i have an imagination you have an imagination you have a gimmick you act like you're crazy what are you laughing about cosell don't open your mouth jermaine cosell you i know this is not your show i'd have made you famous enough they know you all over the world so everywhere i go you follow me to get published every time i want to show you come you follow me all around so we don't wanna why did you invite him so let me tell you something else who's gonna tell him when it's over are you telling me [Applause] [Music] you're not as dumb as you look bro [Applause] you should be my manager wouldn't it be a heck of a combination if he was my manager do you don't steal do you no no no way muhammad unless you say so [Music] wait hey anything you say i do why are you why do you why do you talk like that well that's just one of you just you can still talk like you're supposed to talk i know if you met an italian do you talk in italian no no i never talk in front of them i tap dance [Music] okay thank you all very much for having me here [Applause] the world knows you know since since i was a kid as i said to him in the dressing room i said when i was nine jimmy i saw you in your last movie you know and they lifted them up they lifted him up out of his makeup chair and he went ah really but we kid about jimmy stewart why because he's a great star he's hollywood he knew all the greats clark gable uh hunts hall leo gorsula john payne's aunt [Music] he just came back from england where he starred in harvey he came here right from england to be with dean jimmy should be put in a home guy gets off a plane and comes right here to be with this charlie bomb juice here man you gotta belong in a home let's face it i said jimmy why are you here i don't really know i am delighted to share the deus with a man who's being honored dean martin by his dear buddy one of the greats jimmy stewart [Applause] [Music] don i i i i thank you [Applause] watching you up here it reminded me of a picture i did not very long ago and it had the same kind of of warmth and and gentility and and the picture is called the man who shot liberty valon [Music] we're really here we're really here to pay our respects and pay tribute to dean martin and i'm sure dean will remember this occasion the rest of his life it's too bad he won't remember tonight one thing you have to say about dean he knows how to relax i remember uh we did a picture together called bandolero several years ago and dean was forced to jump off a three-story building and i he was forced to do it and and right in the middle of it he fell asleep we had a lot of fun in the picture we every day we practice shooting by lining up a dozen bottles on the fence and before i had a chance to get my gun out of the holster i dean drank the target i got something to tell you a little more serious than that because i and i want to do it at this time i on that same picture uh dean saved me from drowning as a matter of fact he he saved my life that was we were doing this scene and we were crossing a river and i fell off my horse and and dean rescued me and pulled me to shore and gave me mouth-to-mouth resuscitation and you know you you can't imagine what affect mouth-to-mouth resuscitation from dean martin kennedy [Music] i was going back to my hotel room to learn my lines and study the scene for the next day and all of a sudden i said to myself how the heck with it i i'll just show up when the cameras start and read it off the cue cards and then the next day i during lunch break without knowing it i found myself in a phone booth calling a gold digger would you believe it i i ended up with frank sinatra and sammy davis we were on our way to acapulco they're having a big blast so dean if if it's okay with you will you the next time you see me drowning just leave me there [Applause] dude try to sit up sit up sit upstairs you start to fall asleep then jimmy right away leans back and then we got a lot of trouble anyway uh you bit when i blow the whistle move up too hey this is look at the elderly lady is going out away look carol nobody's looking at you lady forget about it except bob hope he's lonely you don't look at an old lady you're never old darling it's what you feel in your heart do you fool around at all [Music] the man who probably knows dean martin better than anyone else is his television producer for the past 12 years in order to handle talent like dean a producer has to be strong vigorous and forceful well here he is ladies and gentlemen dean's longtime producer the dynamic rugged gary von greckson thank you mr uh rickles as you say i've been dean martin's television producer for 12 years and the first thing i'd like to do tonight is to say hello which one is he you ruined me you broke my heart you destroyed my her health look you're making me nervous for a wreck see this before i met you uh i used to be like this he could drive you crazy with those cue cards he could cheer your heart out can you read that huh [Music] he can it says hi on the democrat [Applause] hey folks now it's my pleasure to introduce the great john wayne duke it's all over how long can you ride into the sunset it's murder when they got to give you a chair and boost you onto the horse but you're a great man marion morris i guess years ago you dressed up and mixed but duke that's what all your friends call you do i call you mr annoying an important man a man that made the west and all of us live in a great wonderful wonderful walter mitty world one of the great giants of the motion picture screen mr john wayne better known as duke to his buddies thank you children as soon as i figure out what you said i think i'm gonna get sore ladies and gentlemen it's nice being here and i hope you don't mind the way i walked out it's just my impression of rich little [Music] hello old-timer wait a minute what happened you must have crammed in a lot of living since our last picture i got a 60 year old saddle that looks better than you do [Music] i feel kind of close to this wrinkled old wrangler because howard hawks and i sort of broke him into westerns before that he'd made a lot of musical junk you know kissing girls guys leaping all over singing and dancing fancy costumes you know that red silk handkerchief well the first time he showed up on the set rio bravo he was decked out all right an authentic cowboy outfit but he had that red silk handkerchief hanging out of his holster i pointed out to him that his pretty jingling silver spurs sounded musical but that he had him on backwards incidentally partner that garanga motel says you still own 200 for the rip sheets and the cocktail waitress figures at nine dollars out of about due for the pantyhose [Music] this piscenta here is some kind of an actor i'll tell you that in fact dean i really wanted you to co-star with me and my last picture park called for a brave rough tough brawling sidekick i figured you were perfect the studio insisted on katie hepburn so when you take in rooster see all those love scenes dino remember it was supposed to be you and me [Music] well enough of this buffalo butter enough jokes i'd be a liar if i didn't tell you that i love this lush he's been my friend for the best years of my life he's done for me what he's done for millions of people all over the world because like so many of you i feel good every time i see him i'm entertained by him i laugh with him as well as at him and when i leave him i worry that he'll find his way home dino to you now you live forever and i say this from the bottom of my heart may you live forever and may the last voice you hear be mine to you pilgrims hey gang it's movie time in the last three years a lot of big stars have appeared on dean's roads and even though they couldn't be here tonight we wanted you to see their touching tribute to dean i've been watching you on tv for years a lot of years i heard all those stories about the way you booze it up i just want to tell you if you fall down tonight i'm not picking you up because it's not my job look at dino he don't know where the hell he is happy smiling relaxed he still thinks he's on every week [Music] i just love this man but i really wish he wouldn't drink so much and dean claims he only drinks when he smokes right now he's up to eight cartons a day now i think you're about to see a television first dean accidentally drank a glass of water and he's gonna self-destruct in five seconds thank you mr martin and may i say it is very gratifying indeed to see one of my patients doing so well this virtuosity this this our virtuoso came to me fretful that his drinking might set a bad example for his many viewers after only one consultation he vowed that he's this is what he said to me he said no more drinking on the air and this is what he did he would take his tuxedo and dip it in booze and then from time to time he would just suck his sleeve [Applause] as you can see nothing upsets him nothing upsets him although the energy crisis had him worried he heard they might limit the public to two gallons a day and he thought they were talking about booze you know i know he said that i am his good friend but i think he's got me mixed up with somebody else cause when i came in here tonight he said uh hi ernest how's julio well you can you said i couldn't say any drunk jokes about it's not fair to make fun of an unfortunate individual who is the victim of an affliction the demon run excessive libation is a serious problem i'm sure dean will drink to that huh well dean's got so many grapes in him he's being picketed by cesar chavez but this might easily be the biggest moment of my life because standing up here on this day is with dean martin the wino on one side of me and michael landon the milk drinker on the other side of me while he's fermenting he's curdling you don't remember me but i was your first wife i don't mind the jokes about my size dean at least they measure my weight in pounds users and quartz you know uh i've always liked dean martin because he did a nice thing for me one time after one of my jumps i was in the hospital and he uh donated a pint of his blood in my name there was one problem i was a little young then and they won't let anybody under 21 have it but i want to say something you and i have simpatico dean and i have been on more flaws than johnson's wax tonight absolutely thrilled witnessing this remarkable sight gleason being roasted and dean's already stewed [Music] it's nice to find a person of your heritage sitting up [Applause] aah i love this thing is this a great night for you dean they don't know he's sitting here nude he just put a tuxedo on the front part in the bottom he's all new and he's in a therapy pool look at this bob oakland [Music] he's looking for oil hey gentlemen i'd like you to meet a man who is my dear friend he is fooling around with my wife joey bishop is a fun guy he's the kind of guy when you have a loss in the family bring him as a mourner he doesn't have to know who they are he just sits by the cast and goes hey it's a damn shame he knows frank sinatra personally and when they had the clan dean and frank and peter lawford i wasn't in that group but joey was and he used to run in front of frank's car and check for grenades he's loved by all of us he is a great star and a friend to dean and to all of us mr joey bishop [Music] so delighted to see bob hope here thank god it means we're not at war wouldn't you be an angola [Music] i've known dean for many years and i consider it a nine and a privilege to have been associated with and no dean people say does he drink some people say no you know he pretends one night he pretended so well it took three guys to carry him home he does not pretend dean martin drinks don't let anybody tell you i saw him one night walking around with a snake in his hand trying to kill a stick you have not lived until you have seen dean martin in a drunken stupor whistling for his dog here boy i cannot believe that we are here tonight honoring a guy who a few feet away from us cannot see us or hear us we'll now uh take a moment of silence while i introduce this fine gentleman rich little he's the best impressionist in the world this i know cause he's told me this time and time again ladies and gentlemen mr rich little thank you don why why why am i thanking don reckless what has this dummy ever done for me oh yeah gave me a minute and stressing him once told me he was a big star gave me a cookie and told me to go away i'm rolling i'm rolling i'm a nice guy am i am i going too fast for your dog why don't we put a cord on your navel and float you out here as the goodyear [Music] blimp no there's there's uh there's gene kelly and you know why gene kelly stayed so young through the years his voice never changed there's orson welles the wings of man [Music] and john wayne's here tonight yo and how would council a man who was slowly becoming a legend in his own mind [Music] then of course hubert humphrey is hubert i'm pleased as consciously is here tonight i was saying to my wife muriel just the other day i said muriel and she said that's right [Music] jim jimmy stewart i i uh [Music] uh paul lin was here oh i think this was disgusting [Applause] here's a guy uh those of us in comedy really respect uh get ready nipsey it's either that or we both take the train of baltimore he's a real pro and a superb monologist ladies and gentlemen mr dipsy russell he went to see a doctor for a checkup doesn't he look great the doctor said he said the best thing for any man's health is to give up women give up whisking give up staying out at night dean said doc i don't deserve the best what's the next best i'm overwhelmed by his vitality and his dynamism and his youthful appearance i said to him dean what is the secret how do you look young he said the best way to look young is to hang out with old people we do discuss some profound social topics i asked him i said dean do you think black children should be bust to white schools he said hell no let him take a calf but it's always sex and drinking and carousing us don't you know what good clean fun is he said no what good is it [Music] he has a very weird sense of humor he takes pornographic film home and runs it backwards he likes to see people get dressed and leave [Music] so i say drunk us over richer poor cloudy awful weather i'll stand beside dean martin cause we sicilians stick together [Applause] ladies i'd like to meet a man who i've known for many many years this man has been doing fights since joe lewis fought johnny paycheck [Music] but ladies and gentlemen we make fun of howard cosell and why not look at him this man has a fantastic nose when the wind is right he becomes a hawk [Music] with that nose where every time he breathes he sucks up his underwear [Music] ladies and gentlemen one of the all-time sportscasters mr howard cosell such a sweet little thing done they talk about charm schools in my name thank god you're the only guy who's got more cancellations on your record than i have on [Music] what mine purposes could have been served during this hour then glorifying the sicilian sponge [Music] the staggering tower of pizza this fugitive from the planet of the grapes [Music] we could have used this valuable television time to do a one-hour special on the witten wisdom of odd buckwald or a one-minute special on the witten wisdom of sonny bono so perhaps i am remiss in denying dean this hour of immortality because this is the bicentennial year and dean has a special way of touching the hearts of all americans maybe he didn't say the memorable words give me liberty or give me death or i regret that i have but one life to give to my country but did patrick henry or nathan hale ever say words so stirring as when the moon hits a your eye like a big pizza pie that's sad you know baby after that whatever you [Applause] think i would like to say to you bob because we cannot kid about it i've never liked you you've always annoyed me i don't see how you became a star gene kelly always said to me how did he become a star gene tell him what you said to me [Music] many many years ago he gave me a break on a television show with with here with this not you not you're not your husband i'll let you know when but it's good that you practice standing later on we're going to have you walking and talking and mixing with people you're gonna have such a good time [Music] america loves him he knows johnny carson personally [Music] he has traveled all over the world uh he's home now for a half hour to pick up his laundry and we just asked him off the street to come on in and kill an hour it's kakov you've done so much in world war ii which i was in when you came to the front and i had to go and attack the japanese troops at that time and you said i've done my jokes and you went to the back lines i i was so annoyed [Music] i don't care how big you are i'm fed up with you bob but i'll give you a hundred dollars if you'll marry my mother [Music] ladies and gentlemen there is nobody there is nobody greater i was in world war ii i never saw you i never saw you of course you didn't they faced you the wrong way i am proud to be his friend and certainly mr martin is a dear friend of this guy ladies and gentlemen a great guy and that's what you can say about it mr bob hope i'm going up thank you i'd be delighted to be here at these auditions [Music] but television is wonderful to do this and television needs another dean martin roast like the cia needs a press agent but this is a great night this night is about as exciting as watching the walton family paper train their pet rock [Music] i haven't been this excited since john davidson let me fill his dimples with whipped cream and how about this mgm grand hotel huh what mobs are the crowds around the crap table are 12 deep it's the only place in the world where you have to make an appointment to go broke and what room service 24 hours a day you can get anything you want sent up to your room unless your wife is with you and i really had fun playing the slot machines here it's nice seeing three oranges come up and not have crosby forces kids to eat them [Music] what a super hotel dean has his own helicopter landing area and he doesn't have a helicopter [Music] and it's nice to see senator goldwater in such distinguished company distinguished company i've seen better bodies blown out of the hindenburg [Music] let's think senator you could have been at the white house watching home movies of betty ford doing the hustle with mouthy tongue [Music] now that everybody's running for president why not our distinguished host dean's very popular he has thousands of warm friends and some men friends too and what a vote-getter most candidates lean toward the republican party of the democratic party dean's the only candidate who can lean toward all parties at once who could win some of the crucial primaries dean has a wide acquaintance in florida jackie gleason we all know how fair minded dean is on foreign policy french german italian irish scotch he'll drink it no matter where it's from i think dean would breathe some new life into the administration it should be easy for him his breath would start the windmill turning on an old dutch painting [Music] he has always made news even as a kid he made medical history he was the first seven-year-old to have a liver transplant [Music] yes he's been drinking since he was seven his family didn't know he drank until one day they saw him sucking in a popsicle with an olive in it but i'm proud of him he's from ohio and let me tell you growing up in steubenville wasn't easy there were some pretty tough characters in steubenville their idea of underarm protection was a 38 and a shoulder holster [Music] dean got his start to show up in the singing with a sami watkins band in cleveland he got seven dollars a night nine when he didn't show up in those days dean sang all the pop songs but now all dean sings is country and western and let me tell you dean singing country in western makes as much sense as greg allman giving sonny bono a welcome home party [Music] dean was in the rat pack those are the happiest days of dean's life constantly surrounded by three guys who could carry you home [Music] no i was frank who got d to join the rat pack it was a private little end group frank dean sammy davis joey bishop and peter lawford they made las vegas what it is today the off ramp between sodom and gomorrah [Music] in spite of it all dean is one of america's great sex symbols he's sort of a marinated bert reynolds [Music] thank you congratulations [Applause] [Music] i would like to say that this gentleman in the business uh everybody uh from the day i first started on television was dean martin show with greg garrison and they put a 40 million celebrities in the audience including mr hope at the time and uh just every star that was available came to watch me and i perspired and i said to dean i'm frightened to death my goodness and he said no no you'd be great pally bowman greg garrison they believed in me and they gave me an opportunity to be on dean's show he's an unusual man uh you uh do not see him at too many social functions he's not a crowd waiver he's just a beautiful human being that the entire industry says like every guy turns around and says boy to b and dean's company is a fun thing because he's a guy's guy i will not say too much because he would be the first one to say hey probably that's it ladies and gentlemen a guy that's loved mr dean martin um i don't say this is a distinguished looking deus or dice i never knew what it was deus or dyes it looks like the board of directors of a massage parlor remember the famous words of franz schubert's mother who once said franz come right back here and finish that fifth it's always good to see my favorite policewoman angie dickinson i tell you she's one cop money can't buy i i know i don't know i was in her dressing room before the show and i tried [Applause] all right i know why your variety show wasn't a hit i spoke to your wife and she said you haven't been live on saturday night for years it's always a thrill to see my buddy jimmy stewart although he's done so many great movies i'll always remember him for his great philadelphia story jimmy spent a week with me and sinatra in tijuana and told his wife he was in philadelphia [Music] even though he even though even even though jimmy is getting on in years he still has all the vitality of a hormone gingle [Music] a mighty gingle i was one of those guys you know when you think of great comedy teams you have to include uh laurel and hardy evan costello and rowan and martin all great comedy teams of the past everybody knows joan lehman quarterback for the new york jets joe had the same kind of year with the jets that a beam had with the city [Music] and bob hope you were beautiful you know from the day bob was born everyone knew that he was going to be a comedian who could never forget his first words but seriously nurse [Music] needless to say i'm very proud that senator hubert humphrey could join us at the mgm i don't know if you notice but not once tonight that the senators say i'm pleased this punch that's because i drank it this little does a great impression of president ford in fact it's so good rich's popularity went down and muhammad don't worry about how your monologue went over tonight i'll talk to the audience and try to get you a rematch [Music] it's nice to see paul lin only time i get to see him lately is on hollywood squares to make you feel at home i want you to pretend rose marie is sitting on your head i'm glad my good friend john wing was able to be here tonight i love the way he dresses when he's in those western movies shiny studs on on his shirt a colorful kerchief and high heels i don't know why they call him the duke they should call him the duchess and what yeah and what can you say about orson welles that dawn nichols hasn't already said about it and i'll always love to see while i my friend and buddy gene kelly a guy who's always doing things for the less fortunate he just flew in from texas where he did a telethon to raise funds to build a clinic for sterile fruit flies well that's about it except i'd like to thank all you on the dais for your friendship and i want you to know i'll remember this night until i get to my car [Applause] you know i've been uh with nbc for over 20 years and i'd like to thank you all for your loyalty and for looking in and sharing some laughs with us i hope my most talented friends and i have provided you with a lot of them this evening this has been the most memorable evening for me thanks to jimmy stewart senator barry goldwater gene kelly gabe kaplan john wayne howard cosell joey bishop paul lin engel rowan and martin tony orlando angie dickinson senator hubert humphrey nipsey russell ruth buzzy bob hope brooks orson wells charlie kallus rich little muhammad ali and joe namath and my host my dear dear friend mr don rickles good night [Applause] you

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Id: n78g5zfvADA

Length: 65min 27sec (3927 seconds)

Published: Fri Mar 05 2021