The N Y Friars Club Roast Of Jerry Stiller

that's why mercury by the greatest rock and roll tumor in the world what other place you really are man well I'm having a blast playing that music again and at the drummer it's a thrill to play great songs because great songs play themselves have you ever been to a fire school gross I have not I've watched them sure all my life but we get squeamish your bad language no are you kidding being a drummer on the road no no I'm looking forward to this now dr. Ruth my dance partner and Stiller sir to meet you excuse me I've enjoyed your work for years yeah yours and you've been a fire since 1952 51 he wants you one when I had my first gig in Bechtel so let me ask you have you know Jerry Stiller he's just here as a plan ironically I would have to say more as a fan that's the paradox with Jerry I think those closest to him know him the least and he's an ever-changing paradigm kind of an enigma I would say right I heard he was into primal scream therapy in the 17th bedroom that's what I hear area did a little primal scream he and my mom have been heavy into therapy of last 10 or 12 years they like to talk it out and I think it's been incredible for their relationship I mean they've been married for 46 years to me I'd like to ask you this and you didn't feel uncomfortable having people work glue in front of van and Jerry work glue well I intend to work glue in front of an injury so I think that's going to be the strangest thing it's just the you know all of the can and folks that I think I'm going to be doing it for Mom it's gonna be weird if you like to say mom on Comedy Central you see she Clips it around I bagged in the old switcharoo that's called the old switcheroo what I just did that and you grew up here in New York's Upper West Side I attended the well I attended many schools I went to Hebrew school and Episcopal non-sectarian school so it was kind of confusing and what was your name my Hebrew name was benjamine and my episcopal name was smooth meal thank you so you know can be confusing having an Irish Catholic mom and a Jewish dad I smell a sitcom Jerry Stiller in one word I know you're not Rosen if you hadn't described them in one word what would have been mentioned not Stiller but very Jerry what and that's why idea logarithm and one word Jerry Stiller circumcised a muffin sexual bisexual confused a lemon muffin he raped the whole Boy Scout he's my hero muffin is a beautiful thing prominent father home you know soulful repeatedly leave Leave leave approvals oh one last thing I asked everybody you could describe Jerry Stiller and one word what would it be I'm still trying to do it right Jeff I think we've had a wonderful time I was really an honor that we've got to share this reading room it's nice to share the comedy with the young people okay so we're going to go inside where you can't go and we're going to go watch the show we're going to watch the show the rose and we want to thank you all for joining us on behalf of Janeane Garofalo may the fires Club Comedy Central and David Gotha god bless you good night [Music] keep it here for the New York Friars Club roast of Jerry Stiller at 10:30 and at a special time The Daily Show with Jon Stewart at 11:30 now stay tuned for an all-new South Park Eloise special neck [Music] [Music] Comedy Central Presents New York Friars Club roast of Jerry Stiller starring Sandra Bernhard Susie Essman Kevin James Jimmy Kimmel Alan King Freddie Roman Jeffery Rob Ben Stiller and roast masters Jason Alexander and now Comedy Central's presentation of the New York Friars Club roast of Jerry Stiller [Applause] [Music] [Music] [Music] you [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] please welcome the abbot of the fire club Alan Kane [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] for 95 years the Friars have been saying we only roast the people we love and then proceeded to ream um a new ass tonight it may be a little more difficult I have never heard Jerry say a bad word about anyone I'm very sincere about this or ever utter profanity so those of us who know him know that he is one of the dullest men I have ever known in my life but how wonderful that jury in the twilight of his career became a star nine years are probably the most successful comedy show in the history of television signs Oh and now is part of a wonderful new hit the king of freak and I never heard anyone in the restaurant say let's eat fast Jerry still is on TV tonight ladies and gentlemen our roast master a little giant Jason Alexander [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] I wrote this little song to open the evening because I feel it speaks more than any words could to express my feelings about being here not long ago on my machine a message from the Friars being finally to join them and make merry I wondered who's the honoree for all the answer given me was by the way the guy we're roasting is Jerry my phone machine recorded nothing more leaving me excited to my core I pondered it enthusiastically as I thought of all the Jerry's it could be it might be Jerry Springer wouldn't that be some humdinger we curl our Barb's woods fingers and give him the fryer finger or in my feet jerry falwell what a joy to make him crawl well he would be a city pigeon we'd give him a dose of religion and then that's Gerald bull that might strike just the chord we could get our jabs and kicked it can't be pardon that rat Nixon it might be Jer Garcia tomba deadhead Mamma Mia for a roast that's a big yucca let's grow one foot Jerry sucker could it be Jerry Lewis that would be a dream come true as Dean and Franken Sammy's gone but George's lingers on and like a Salif on jerry go mix goes a movie he would start a rose with groovy Jerry Lee Lewis 8 a prior but we'd have a great bomb caramel display of Beamer he would be a small receiver Tom and Jerry baby funny Jerry Maguire show us the money Jerry Brown there's a man of great renown that said he's a real tree hugger mom said he's a little miss sugar Jerry Van Dyke is like no other what a shame he ate his brother Jerry Vale would not be totalus cherrye hall is rolling stone for the big guy Jerry Seinfeld now we're talkin or gold my film he's not only love big winner he could buy a friggin dinner - you see so many Mitch Jerry would be my honor II when I heard I said murder that's French for not make any sense of it then I said I guess he's funny and he's got a famous Sonny and I'll make a little funny it may not be quiet a thriller but it's only one night killer let's make the most okay I'll host Miss Rose the cherry [Music] let's get it on [Applause] [Music] Comedy Central's presentation of the neon Friars Club roast of Jerry Stiller in Truckee bye Gia it's about time everyone had a well made time see your local Kia dealer today and see sports.com the ultimate online sporting goods store the day Jason Alexander Kevin James and penciller when the Mia fighters club close to Jerry stores continues thank you very much and ladies gentlemen I want to I want to thank Alan King for that lovely introduction my god Alan King the fan of his from the days when he had a career he is a Renaissance man everything he's done was fresh in 1500 well this is it isn't it I mean this is what it's all about like every Jew I have dreamed of hosting a friars roast since I was a kid have also dreamed of sharing a hot tub with Pamela Anderson and Julia Roberts and lucky me look which one of my dreams came true the Friars Club has a long and distinguished tradition of paying tributes to the very finest entertainers in our nation's history tonight they've broken with that tradition and are honoring Jerry Scott like many of you I'm here not just to honor Jerry the foot but to fulfill the community service portion of my sentence if someone had told me that working my shaft outside Gwyneth Paltrow's window was illegal things might have been very different long story short the judge sentenced me to two hours of cheering up some Alpha caucus now you may be asking in fact it's impossible not to ask why Jerry Stiller why they sent me reams of background information on the many achievements of Jerry Stiller I I pored over it my only substantial thing I could find is that he got a beautiful six of them area outside of that ad ed Sullivan blue running Seinfeld and if being on Seinfeld was such an accomplishment we'd be roasting Seinfeld which frankly puts between is dating the teenagers in the newly weds it's a far easier task to begin with so by process of elimination we have to conclude that this event this set this soiree has been inspired by Jerry's portrayal of my dad Frank Costanza on Seinfeld because it sure as hell it sure as hell ain't for what he's doing now on king of kings or queen for a day whatever to hell well much has been made of Jerry's eccentric outrageous multi-textured performance on our show in fact with my help he was even nominated for an Emmy I helped them all two Emmys never got one myself but I was a facilitator Michael Richards I got him a minute Julia Louie Dreyfus got her an Emmy Jerry Seinfeld some actors you can't facilitate quantity Jerry I love you and I adore you I'm your greatest fan I am privileged to have shared the stage with you I think of you the way I think of my own real father as an old and seemingly endless drain of my patience in my pocket [Applause] but you have something that my father does not have in fact you have something that I don't have and that is a job so I am here to suck up to you and every way I can and it hopes that eventually something will come of it and may God have mercy on us all [Music] ladies and gentlemen when Seinfeld left the air it created a void in American television viewing habits avoid so great that a schmuck like Kevin James can have a so-called hit television show Kevin is the star of King of Queens on CBS yes that's right CBS where every week 10 million viewers fill their colostomy bags while sitting down with their Swanson free digestive protein taking a good half-hour of comedy before drifting off during the theme music if you've never seen the shell Kevin plays a loving husband to a woman whose tits are smaller than his ladies and gentlemen televisions reigning king Kevin J [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] Thank You duck man when they asked me to do this roast I was really intimidated because I'm honestly this is not my forte I'm really not great it's saying mean-spirited things about people I love like like Jerry Stiller fortunately the writers on my show don't feel the same way so here we go kick it in okay can somebody please tell me how a guy can screw up the line good morning Douglas ten times in a row and yet one night a week the man stands in front of a group of total strangers and has no trouble with hi my name is Jerry and I'm an alcoholic [Applause] this one's actually this one's actually from our co-star Leah Remini the lovely Leah Remini who plays my wife on the show yeah beautiful woman she couldn't be with us tonight but she sends her congratulations on your roast and says to relax have a great time and PS don't worry her special friend finally showed up know what that means I remember these are the writers from the King of Queens not Seinfeld folks people say the Jerry Stiller is demanding hard ass son of a yes they forgot to give that one a punchline there Jerry sorry Patton Oswald is here tonight patents on my show patent yeah yeah you think the guy who invented the tuxedo would have pressed on if he realized a head like that would be peeping out of it I don't think so I think it would ended quickly Florence Henderson is here I was very glad to see her live and up close yeah she now replaces barbara eden as the oldest woman I'd like to folks we will run late I will let's just say my very Brady Christmas will come early this year get me going seriously what I'd like to say folks is this man right here honestly makes it a great time going to work every day I got a honestly thank him from the bottom of my heart for first off of being on my show because if he wasn't on my show believe me I know there wouldn't be a show and I want to thank him secondly for his friendship he's really great and I love them thank you very much folks [Music] Sandra Bernhard Jimmy Kimmel and then Spiller coming up [Applause] [Applause] amazingly in that brief moment Kevin finished [Applause] folks what can you say about Susie Essman particularly when you have no idea who she is I look at a resume I see she headlines and clubs all over the country from Carnegie Hall to catch a rising star she's been on dozens of TV shows and yet I swear I've never seen it before in my life she could walk up to me on the street kiss me right on the mouth I don't think it would ring a bell she could appear stripped to the waist in a grass skirt at the door of my hotel room tonight say 11 o'clock you know what I'd like to show let's make it 11:30 and I'm not positive I would be able to place it but you know what I'm willing to be wrong like I'm happy to be wrong I'm desperate to be wrong just leave it in your hands Suze and now that I'm with in a heartbeat of a sexual harassment suit that will make Clarence Thomas and Anita Hill look like blondie and dagwood allow me to introduce a delightfully non litigious and hysterically funny lady miss Susie Asma [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] and I will be there I'm very worth tonight I have to apologize I have a sore throat cherry nose why I know why enough said it wasn't pretty carrot you know you see you are you comfortable there not really no what were you so cute and adorable and I just get I just find it hard to say all those kinds of mean sexual things about you but then I look at this dais and I think he doesn't miserable suckers I can have a field day Alan King Alan's you ever think you'd lived so long that your prostate would be as big as you ego maury povich is here you know more I've always wondered why you married Connie Chung and then I realized we all know Jews love to eat Chinese [Applause] what do we write he's printing Christo's now I'm really glad you're here not because he is such a great actor which you are but just because you are the only guy in this entire day and what would a Friars bro see without my darling friend Freddie Roman who has been trying to sleep with me for so many years it's pathetic Freddie we've been over this before but let me just reiterate I wouldn't deal with dr. roots okay [Applause] you'll see ya so listen okay no I don't want to embarrass you because I know your kids are here and I know your kids Amy I've known for years I just met Ben we made a movie together but who hasn't made a movie with a good point and he played a rabbi yes in the movie yeah and he's adorably Sexy's Sean and you can sum all the things you're not and right and you guys don't spend together anymore do you not in public no she was never that into it anyway I mean she's Irish the God's sake let's think sex with Jerry or a Dewar's in water is no content I know you know what I'm actually going to go ahead you know I envy you the America's such a wonderful woman because she's really incredible I mean think about this and she's had sex with Jerry she's given birth to Ben she's the only woman I know who's had both Ben and Jerry inside of her welcome back it's chunky monkey [Applause] all right I can't talk anymore I have to go get some throat coat calm down Freddy and it's been funny Jerry I wish you many more successful half years I'll see you later okay good night [Music] ladies and gentlemen Jimmy Kimmel has been referred to as the hip funny host of the Emmy award-winning gameshow win Ben Stein's money hip and funny of course in relationship to Ben Stein Jimmy is also the co-host and co-creator of a steaming pile of monkey crap called the man show no in all seriousness Jimmy is a wonderfully funny and creative gentleman and the fact that he has an Emmy and I don't is proof that this is a sick sad business and on that note ladies and gentlemen a big brother raccoon welcome for Jimmy Kimmel it's great to be at the Friars Club can you guys hear me over the oxygen tanks what an ego boost it must be to be roasted by the fryer Jerry comes from a magical time in history when you didn't really have to accomplish that much to be famous 50 years in show business 50 years and they had to get me to roast you didn't you make any friends Kevin James is here from the hit CBS show Everybody Loves Raymond so much they'll even sit through the piece of crap half hour before it Jeff Ross is here that's a surprise yes The Fresh Prince of the Friars Club Jeff is the only friar younger than 70 he loves this place and you know I was thinking about Jeff in 20 years you're going to have it all to yourself like Omega Man the one we should really be honoring tonight is Jerry fillers agent or whoever was that told them to drop that skinny old you used to work with whatever happened to her anyway all this still isn't here they're all in show business like the Judds only ugly and the scary thing about it is Jerry really is their father to us he's a sitcom character to them he's dad could you imagine that mouth screaming at you at a little league game oh my god I tell you what Ben if I had a father like that I'd be gay too but seriously a lot of hard stuff's been said about you tonight all in joking fashion of course and one day you're going to look back at this night and well you probably be dead so won't matter now if you excuse me I'm late we're roasting Adam Sandler's dad later tonight stay with us for Sandra Bernhard James Stewart and Jerry Stiller ladies and gentlemen from the Rosie O'Donnell show and the Broadway stage New York's finest mr. John McDaniel and the mcdee lights over there on the back next up folks is Ben Stiller I happen to think that Ben Stiller is the greatest actor ever to do a scene with Scrooge dripping from his ear oh sure I know it some of you are thinking what about Olivier's jizz soaked with hello or John Barrymore dripping with spew in the Scottish play well Ben was better then created and starred in one of the funniest television shows ever which is why it was necessary to cancel it within 13 episodes he was making us look bad I for one hope his star quickly and permanently fades so that he can be unemployed and host this kind of horse for my dad [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] loved your workin Dunston checks in hi dad hey boy but I hadn't really ever done one of these roasts and it's a very strange thing because to our household we just there was never this kind of I mean this is extra funny to me and my sister just because if you knew my dad's aversion to any sort of bad word whatsoever he would just have a whole other level of enjoyment here tonight I mean just to say actually it is really very strange to roast your dad mainly because as everybody has been pointing out he has hardly any negative qualities I mean he's uh he's not a drinker at all so I would say you have a slightly unhealthy relationship with Seltzer not a womanizer at all and we've ever had one talk about sex of any type and I don't think now would be the time to start you dad know anything you might say he's a bit non confrontational I think he'll do anything to give somebody a good impression of himself yes he has a true true dedication to his fans no he wasn't there for either my sisters or my birth but you know he was out making a living on the road you know and I know he always felt felt very guilty about that when he called me on my bar mitzvah he I think what was it we were doing Murder She Wrote or celebrity sweepstakes yeah oh yes all right both that trip I could hear the regret in your voice yeah go ahead growing up actually I have wonderful memories of your incredible kindness to virtual strangers I remember one time it took me to a jazz club do you remember this yes at one time one of the jazz bows came up to my pad and where the drummer is like that Club strikers I think and he handed my dad a joint of marijuana as a friendly gesture you know my dad not really being a reefer cat at all took the joint at a courtesy I of course stole it shock that he would do something like that and proceeded to smoke it with my best friend to teach you a lesson a lesson that would begin a drug habit that I've been fighting to this day I'm kidding I'm kidding but not really one bad bad acid trip when I was about 16 I decided to call up call up mom dad who were out on the coast I believe you were whooping it up with coochie-coochie girl charo aboard TV's Love Boat and panicked and disoriented back in NYC a reach you at the hotel suite the Sunset Marquis and that's really where the depth of the void between us became evident when in an effort to talk me down he said hey hey kiddo it's going to be all right I know just how you feel when I was 10 years old I smoked a pell-mell with the Italian bully on my corner and I was sick for two days he then put me on the phone with Bernie kopell who played doc tonight it's not about me dad it's for my regrets or bit of grudges it's about yours and it's your night and I'm really proud to say that uh neither my sister or I has attempted suicide more than once we have no D joined a cult or anything like that so I think you've done an incredible job as a father and quite honestly I couldn't think of anyone else in the world who had rather be my father I love you thank you Sandra Bernhard when Comedy Central's presentation of the Friars Club roast of Jerry Stiller continues you know for someone with such a long and busy career Freddie Roman has accomplished surprisingly little as a young man he dreamed of being a comedian in the thriving vibrant nightclubs of the Catskills resorts soon Freddy was a major Catskill attraction which may help you understand why those magnificent hotels in the very mountains they were built on soon crumbled and all but vanished back into the bowels of the earth from whence they were born but Freddie Roman still had a dream a dream to schlep every decrepit performer from upstate New York and place them on the rest of America first he conquered Broadway with the critically acclaimed Catskills on Broadway of which he was found a director and grand High pooh-bah now he travels this nostalgic crap deeper around the country because of just one inbred hayseed Gentile farmer in buck Idaho goes to bed with a knot in his chest for meeting a big schmaltz sandwich predator we love him ladies and gentlemen he is truly a funny and lovely man so let's give him a big we're pretending to like you because you're the Dean of this poll welcome Fred your honor [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] Thank You Jason you are living proof that money Fame and power come up by height it's very appropriate that I've been asked to be here tonight to honor you Jerry I I've been on TV you've been on TV I've been on Broadway you've been on Broadway I've been on em carry a lot of people want me to be here tonight that could not make it Mike Tyson actually tried to get here tonight you know Mike the only man in America that drives a two hundred and fifty thousand dollar car that actually made the license plates for that car he wanted to be here Jerian looking up your bio and I know you and Anne are happily married for all these wonderful 40 some ideas and I checked into stories about this is my favorite story of your life with Anne about the time you brought home a dozen roses for and in her own emit and then in dinner table fashion she said what did you do wrong you said nothing I just wanted to bring you a gift and this is how you act and Anne said sure now you want me to lie in bed naked all week with my legs apart and you said what's the matter you don't have the laws [Laughter] Thank You Jerry for all these wonderful years of laughter and that you brought to us in your onstage work with Ann and now your acting ability and and I swear to I hope someday you'll be mentioned in the same breath as patton oswalt I love you and thank you for being our honor [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] Sandra Bernhard Sandra Bernhard Sandra Berta I'm sorry folks I love everything about Sandra Bernhard I love the way she looks I love the way she sings I love the things she says I love Madonna I love lesbians I consider myself one I love that she does her one-woman shows that I don't have the slightest idea what the she's talking about I love her I love her and all of you will love her too the goddess of love ladies and gentlemen miss Sandra Bernhard [Applause] [Music] [Applause] one not long ago when I was not so strong a pretty man came through [Music] haha [Music] Carrie there a magic [Music] soon very sad the most people never think of never let the dream thing realizing [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] Oh [Applause] yep and Raj when we return Jeffrey Ross is a very talented stand-up comic that is what he tells me it must be true due to the fact that he has appeared on Jay David and Conan he's also been spotted on a guy named Bertram and seemed suspiciously hanging around a fellow named Phil yeah small role in the film Eyes Wide Shut he played Tom Cruise's schwanz which is not a food he's won the coveted Manhattan Association of Cabaret artists award and the backstage magazine Bistro award and really right after the Golden Globes those are the two you want to have we are lucky to have him here ladies and gentlemen Jeffrey Ross [Applause] [Music] [Applause] hey how are you having a hand for your roastmaster Jason Alexander everybody but Jason Jason you were great on Seinfeld and I guess that's going to be about it huh anyway congratulations Jerry you're the first person the Friars ever roasted was not in show business it's ironic really because your son is the barometer of hip and you just had Joy's replaced as you can see the rest of the cast of Seinfeld couldn't be here tonight apparently they broke their backs carrying Jerry Seinfeld for eight years and Jerry Seinfeld beer tonight he had a prior engagement of a model on a pile of cash so Jerry Stiller has the face of a star and that star is lassie his Hebrew name is yes and what about the great comedy team of Stiller and Meara yeah hopefully a team you're out in LA making it big and ready to go on tour with qiong's the only time I ever saw the tool you perform live was in Henny Youngman funeral and Henny was funnier Sandra Bernhard Holi I wouldn't Sandra Bernhard would be Arthur's dick [Applause] dr. Ruth is here how are you again dr. Ruth where is she 90 and horny she went down on me standing up [Applause] dr. Ruth is so over vagina has mice Janene how are you pal Janeane Garofalo let me give you some career advice all right pal you're allowed to turn things down you say no you're a great actress but you made more bad pictures and photo mash your last film left the theater so fast they held the premiere to Blockbuster what was the movie with then mystery men that movie was so bad I fired my agent Gene Siskel was gonna review it on multi but he took the easy way out [Applause] [Music] [Applause] coming up next Jason Alexander Allen team at Jerry Stiller here to make the presentation on behalf of the New York Friars Club is the producer of tonight's event Ken Greengrass Freddie Roman the Dean of the Friars Club and the abbot of the Friars mr. Allen King [Applause] [Music] [Applause] ladies and gentlemen in just a moment you're going to hear from my guest of honor Jerry Stiller but before we do anything one of the most difficult things to do in our business is to be a roast master at a Friars event it has been carried off magnificently tonight by mr. Jason Alexander cherry can we ask you to please come over you're a terrific sport tonight you had no choice and because of that it's my privilege to present to you the coveted Roast award designed by dome crystal of France Kenny will you take that it's not a funny award but it's for a funny guy and a brilliant actor thanks for letting all of us have a fun night tonight personally we don't care if you had fun but congratulations ladies and gentlemen makes the Jerry Silla I'm really very pleased to be here tonight my wife my kids came up here tonight Amy and Ben tomorrow morning go seek your biological parents I want to thank this entire dais who came up here tonight to honor me in the way they did I've known them we'll work with them all through the years and they never held it against me I thank you for being here tonight and standing up there for me thank you ladies and gentlemen nobody pushed the record button so we have to do the show one more time but we'll just add in the last thank you you were wonderful have a wonderful night [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] stay tuned for an encore presentation of the New York Friars Club roast of Jerry Stiller as well and a new South Park Halloween special at 1:00 it's the Daily Show with Jon Stewart next [Music]

Channel: The Why Channel

Views: 1,791,805

Keywords:

Id: DkgnboddC5s

Length: 47min 56sec (2876 seconds)

Published: Fri Jul 21 2017

Reddit Comments

[u/detestrian]

Jason Alexander killed that opening song. Damn.

Killed it all.

[u/thebendavis]

Damn I miss the old Friars Club Roasts. Comedy Central just ran rough-shot on the whole concept and ruined it.

Anyway, RIP Jerry!

[u/THE_CHOPPA]

Holy shit you can see why Jeff Ross really is the King of roasts.

“His Hebrew name is. Yuuuuuck” had me rolling.

[u/ImRickJameXXXX]

Just came to post my respects to one of the original Princes of comedy.

RIP Jerry.

[u/raccoon_posse]

Missed opportunity for Jerry to open with “I’ve got a lot of problems with you people!”

[u/Pentosia]

27:48 wow jimmy

[u/CrashRiot]

I liked this roast more than the Comedy Central ones. I'm no prude, I dont mind mean humor but it feels like theres no actual love to go along with it in the CC ones. Here you can tell theres genuine affection for the roasted.

[u/[deleted]]

So many jews it's like an old catskills vaudeville tour.

[u/damidustouch2000]

susie essman looking super hot at https://youtu.be/DkgnboddC5s?t=1327