DAVE CHAPPELLE - BIRDSHOT BUCKSHOT! STICKS AND STONES ANIMATED!

say I'm in bed and sleeping and suddenly my wife wakes me up David David wake up oh look who's come around and I pull my over the top of my pajamas [Applause] I hate guns personally I can't stand them yeah but I have several I don't want them but I feel like I need them don't forget where I live I live in Ohio and anyone that knows anything about Ohio knows that even the word Ohio is an old Native American word it means literally land of poor white people I didn't even know what I was looking at at first I was just driving like why are all these white people so sleep me out of anything [Applause] it's really bad I'm at bat I was coming out of night club the other night in Dayton and I'd parked my car in an alley and no one was out that I had no bodyguards nothing I was home I figured everything was fine and as soon as I opened my car door all by myself suddenly one of these heroin-addicted whites just pops out a trash can it's given ice cream then I realized it was a woman hey man hey man relax okay I'm sick I need some drugs me please for five dollars me and I was like two [Applause] be that as it may I'm armed to the teeth [Music] first gun I bought was a 12-gauge shotgun I didn't what the gun remember though I had moved to a farm and I was sitting there on the porch and I see a white dude walking across my property entitled like he's supposed to be there he had a rifle over his shoulder to anybody I said what the is this guy doing on my property I was mannish but I was unarmed so I ended up just waving to this month like a Justin [Applause] and as soon as they got far enough away I ran to my car and spanned the Kmart this is in a rural white area and remember I was nervous because a guy was on my property I'm black and I was sweating know me and I ran to the gun counter black and sweaty sweating black and I looked up I was like a slave or something I said I need a gun immediately like then just like that got it yes no questions you just grabbed 12-gauge shotgun handed it to me I'd never even held a gun before I'm not a dummy to money well I need some money some bullets too and a guy reached on the counter for two bucks shells on the counter he said all right buddy which box do you want I didn't know one box head pictures some ducks on it the other box had pictures of some deer I said well what's that box with them does he saw that there's bird shot and then he goes just like this and not exagerating goes that won't kill a man [Applause] they said it'll just pamper them up nicely you know what it means a pepper month it means that when the shell explodes hot babies will shoot out of the barrel of the gun not killing them penetrating the skin and shallow flesh babies I said well what's that box with the deer on it he goes old that bears buckshot got to put a hole in the goddamn truck he won it too so which box do you want and they picked the one with the deer up and shook it [Applause] I thought he's trying to trick now's like do you have a box with a picture of a white dude trespassing on it because it's exactly the strength I'm looking for but I didn't know that if you're defending your home with the shock son the formula dictates that you're supposed to buy both boxes this is not a formula that I was familiar with it goes like this six shots and 12-gauge shotgun so when you load the gun you load it like this first shot birdshot next shot buckshot birdshot and then after that guns Jamaican buckshot buckshot buckshot [Applause] she got a picture it okay like say I'm in bed sleeping and suddenly my wife wakes me up David David wake up look who's come around and I pull my over the top of my pajamas and she says no I hear something oh this I get up I bet grab the gun I say wait here baby I'll go check it out just lock the door behind me oh my god she's right right there in the kitchen it's a heroin-addicted white and he's digging through the change job by the door hmm hmm we're really hard for that change I gotta do something so first I wrapped the shotgun Hey click-clack that's a test that click clack sound will stop a rational human being in their tracks but sure enough this person is not rational this sickle on trucks the big interchange hmm hmm fast no one's got a dollar fifty I warned you Baadshah and there goes hot bee bees will permeate his yellow heroin skip remember I'm not killing him I'm just peppering them up nice he lets out a heroin screen yeah and that should be the end of it but oh oh I miscalculated while he's on the ground screaming I noticed it his teeth are horribly miss color that's not heroin at all is it that's crystal meth he pops right back up unscathed [Applause] time for the heavy step back let pusher and then if you got a friend with him I got one more birdshot left and I repeat the cycle after that gets slugs for everybody I'll be in a kitchen full of dying heroin addicts saying stupid heroin last words you shot me bro the last words always dumbest words why is your everyone we have an announcement to make [Music] [Music] first pick [Music] Billy the mushrooms I'm about to be a white man Billy the mushrooms later washable come out Billy this is not I'm your host Roy Wood jr. [Music] [Music] nice

Channel: Sketch And Sound

Views: 1,764,196

Rating: 4.8696876 out of 5

Keywords: dave chappelle, comedy central roast full, stand up comedy full show, sticks & stones, comedy central key and peele, stand up comedy nepali, stand up comedy full, stand up comedy compilation, comedy central, dave chappelle show, sticks and stones, dave chappelle netflix special, stand up comedy, dave chappelle sticks and stones, chappelle show, duckshot buckshot, dave chappelle animated, stand up comedy kevin hart, dave chappelle birdshot buckshot, dave chappelle buckshot

Id: nIDUiVoD8Ik

Length: 10min 19sec (619 seconds)

Published: Sat Dec 14 2019

Reddit Comments

[u/ZahnZeide]

I thought it was well done. Wasn't a fan of the beeps, but the nerf guns were a fun irony.

[u/le_king3001]

for all the hate you recieved i dont think its fair its very well done and i like the style of the animation. great job keep doing it I'll be waiting for what coming next

[u/caporcea]

i enjoyed that :)

p.s. on the bullet boxes it says birdshot on both :)

[u/argyle5473]

Looks great! One thing I did catch, though, is that both boxes said “birdshot.”

You are talented.

[u/[deleted]]

Loved it, thanks!

[u/rathat]

That was great

[u/YoungScabies]

Bill Burr did this bit first. Dave changed it slightly and made it his own.

[u/Shorteggs]

The baby got me dying

[u/gleeble]

Love the Simpsons gun shop guy.