Crazy Peeps, Palin Gets COVID & Clayton Kershaw’s Interview with Guillermo

i'm jimmy i am the host of the show thanks for watching happy uh thanksgiving to one and all today is the first day of may it's april fool's day uh historians believe that april fool's day i did not know this dates all the way back to 1582 to france where people would put paper fish on each other's backs and then call them april fish guillermo turn around for a second yeah i put one on your back a minute ago oh you did it oh yeah yeah you see that yeah oh yeah you see how funny that is yeah wow let me tell you the french are hilarious they really are at mar-a-lago today donald trump played a very cruel prank on his son eric he opened his arms and pretended like he was gonna hug him and remember last year when trump promised the coronavirus would disappear by easter that was a good one that was that was maybe the best one ever april fool's is too easy this year all you have to do is sneeze and you've won this is not a prank or maybe it is who knows russia the russians say they've developed a covet vaccine for animals the vaccine is called carnavac cove it was developed for pets and farm animals they give them one shot with this and they're done they're gone you know pets animals can get the coronavirus and the worst thing about getting coveted for dogs is and they try to smell each other's butts nothing they can't they you know who tested positive for kovid our old lipstick on a pit bull herself sarah palin announced that she and her two of her kids contracted the virus how she doesn't know sarah palin lives in alaska you almost have to try to catch covert in alaska it's easier to catch a bald eagle than covet in alaska but palin is encouraging others now to wear masks which is rich because at the beginning of this back in may she traveled all the way to texas to visit a beauty salon to support the owner of that salon who went to jail because she refused to shut her business down she said it was her constitutional right to endanger her community but now that sarah has herself been bitten by the bug she changed her tune i love these people who only believe in science when it happens to them they only acknowledge that covett is real after they get it's like saying now that i have been mauled by a bear personally i realize that their claws and teeth are very sharp but good for her for speaking out finally corona isn't the only transmittable disease we need to worry about oxford university is said to be hard at work on a vaccine for what they call super gonorrhea back in 2018 a british man who's vacationing in southeast asia contracted what has been described as the worst ever case of gonorrhea god only knows how he got that gonorrhea but he did and now it's spreading uh the hope is that a vaccine to stop it will be ready in time for next season of bachelor in paradise so keep your fingers crossed easter is uh what a few days away now which means it's time for jesus and peeps these peeps you know it used to be there were you know they had the yellow peeps in the shape of little chicks and that was it and then they started making them in the shape of bunnies which do not peep by the way chicks pee bunnies don't unless you step on them but apparently the new shapes and colors of peeps caught on because this is a this is what is now available you see here we've got uh chocolate pudding peeps we have root beer float peeps we have blue raspberry peeps we have sour watermelon cotton candy all kinds of crap this is what it looks like at cvs this is the aisle it's cbs it's the store's gone all peeps there's also peep cereal which is if you read it you can see it's marshmallow flavored cereal with marshmallows artificially flavored it's like a roast beef flavored sandwich with beef these are um what are these oh sugar-free peeps it'd be funny if this was just an empty little container and that's not where it ends there are a whole host of peeps products on the market now so we came up with a game in time for easter i'm gonna ask slash force our staff and our audience to play the game it's called real or fake peeps all tell right if this is real or fake okay this is peeps hand sanitizer real or fake [Applause] that's a real thing and i'm gonna use that as well okay this is peeps pringles [Music] [Applause] this is fake yeah there's a fake right yeah fake yeah but it will be real by the end of probably the month uh these are peeps flavored strawberry chocolate marshmallow milk that is real yeah peeps you play [Music] [Applause] that's unreal let's fake it everyone who said reel is fired this is um peeps crest yes of course that's fake this is peeps twinkies real or fake they are no i don't actually know they're fake yeah peeps pepsi [Music] no this is real and how they did not call this peepsy i have no idea what is wrong with you people we've got for those who like a little little kick peeps white claw fake and uh these peeps crocs are these uh peeps crocs a thing no they are real and they are a crime against humanity guillermo try them on these are for you enjoy and we have one more item oh okay one one last item uh peeps truck nuts yes gary in one hour one of our riders gary those will be those will be hanging from the ball hitch of his honda crv baseball is back a new season is uh officially underway you can't beat opening day sitting in a 33 capacity ballpark stuffing a hot dog into your n95 mustard all over the mass the whole deal we're not in the clear the mets and the nationals had to push their game tonight because at least five players on the nationals either tested positive or were in quarantine the league is still adhering to covet guidelines for the time being the crowds are limited and all second baseman and left fielders will be cardboard cutouts but the soon-to-be former cleveland indians played today they lost to the tigers that team is expected to get a new name sometime next year but effective immediately fans at progressive field in cleveland will no longer be allowed to paint their faces red or wear headdresses at the game the team put out a statement that says headdresses and face paints styled in a way that references or appropriates american indian cultures and traditions will not be permitted unless you are in fact a full-blooded descendant of the lakota in which case thanks for being a fan go tribe oop we mean we're not calling the team tribe anymore but thank you for being a fan woohoo oops again sorry we promise we'll change the name soon all right you know our local dodgers are here in los angeles are the reigning world series champs they won the world series last year and this is exciting since dodgers had their opener today against the colorado rockies and ahead of the game our very own guillermo who oh wow that's a good look for you yeah they're comfortable i like them you like them yeah you think you'll wear them on easter yes of course of course are those edible or what are they made out of those peeps give them a little squeeze no they're not edible they're not no eat one anyway let's see what happens oh it's stuck up oh no don't eat it guillermo that was a joke all right anyway guillermo journeyed today to dodger stadium to have a socially distanced chat with all-star pitcher and tonight's starter clayton kershaw hi i'm here at the daugher stadium with the world series champion clayton kershaw hi clayton what i can't hear you i said [Applause] oh i say thank you for joining me for this social distant interview yeah no problem glad to be here which one you like better peanuts or crackers you mean cracker jacks crackers jacks yeah oh yeah i prefer peanuts yeah me too i love peanuts cool clayton this is a very important question why i cannot buy beer in the night eating you know i think i might have something to do with driving guillermo i'll look into that great thank you i have a picture to show you tell me what were you thinking in this picture hold on let me grab something oh yeah i'm thinking that thing's pretty cool good answer are you ready for a supple question i think so i wrote it in the sub bowl oh you can't you're gonna throw it to me [Applause] next question who's there mookie bets mookie batu mookie bets bet me 20 i wouldn't tell this joke you get it i think so i mean not really but yeah one more question clayton okay one more wish dwyer has the best scent which dodger has the best what now which dollars has the best sense the best the best sex [Laughter] is that what you asked you know what i'm gonna call you okay call me call me hello clayton which daughter has the best scent you know which one smell the best ah bruised dark gradual he smells beautiful all the time oh okay is this interview over yeah can we do a long distance oh yes i love that all right hold on i feel nice thank you that was so good clayton i bet it was thanks for doing that man i love you man thank you clinton back to you jimmy all right very well done it's good to see you i'm ready to go to a game me too i'm ready yeah thanks to clayton curso uh and one more thing before we keep going it's thursday night which means it's time to bleep and blur the big tv moments of the week whether they need it or not it is time for this week in unnecessary censorship [Applause] hey guys it's tuesday it's march 30th and we are about to get your day i just have one question for you jerry are we going to see your tonight because hopefully that's posted you know what's not traveling is a giant stuck in the middle of the suez canal we'll bring you the latest you and i about two years ago your wife was there and i brought a friend of mine today himself i've got another story and i promise i care about more than but this was just too incredible were you being censored the entire room is nothing but cops one after the other after the other well maria many of those right i mean that's kind of one of the things you do when you're you know when you're first family like there's no one that my father as well as i do and i i am late at night i can't tell you how many times we're together somebody step up in my ass big man brother b i cannot wait to a 50 year old man i've never done that [Applause] [Music] if you like that video then put a ring on it click the subscribe button below

Channel: Jimmy Kimmel Live

Views: 1,136,597

Rating: 4.8611269 out of 5

Keywords: jimmy, jimmy kimmel, jimmy kimmel live, late night, talk show, funny, comedic, comedy, clip, comedian, mean tweets, Pandemic, Coronavirus, COVID-19, Social Distancing, Quarantine, Monologue, April Fools’ Day, Guillermo, Donald Trump, Russia, Vaccine, Sarah Palin, Super Gonorrhea, Easter, Peeps, Baseball, Opening Day, MLB, Cleveland Indians, Clayton Kershaw, Dodgers, LA, Dodger Stadium, Interview

Id: K00ax9LxjC4

Length: 13min 9sec (789 seconds)

Published: Thu Apr 01 2021