Cops, When Did Someone Talk Himself INTO A Ticket? (AskReddit)

serious cops have read it when was the time someone talked themselves into a ticket pulled a guy over for registrations touka being out several months out I asked him why this hasn't been taken care of and he states he has a bet with a friend that he can go two years without a ticket I said well you just lost that bet I always decided before I approached the vehicle whether or not the person was getting a ticket I had no quota and it wasn't going to gain me any brownie points for writing a dumb ticket for five miles per hour over I wrote speeding tickets at fifteen over how sometimes if I was in a particularly good mood I'd even give out warning tickets for that the only person that ever really earned my er off passed me in a no passing zone and cut me off because I was doing the speed limit break checked me gave me the finger then rolled through a stop sign and turned right on red without stopping I was in an unmarked car he probably would have done more stupid stuff if I had kept following him if that's not asking for it I don't know what is I hooked him up speeding no passing failure to stop x2 it was close to four hundred dollars in fines I hope he wasn't in a hurry because it takes a long time to write four tickets the only other time I consider deviating from my rule was when I pulled over a lady and she proceeded to explain to me at great volumes how I couldn't write her a ticket because her husband was a sergeant major and outrank me I was very tempted to show her that I could in fact write her ass a ticket I watched a guy talk his way into a contempt charge and then ninety days in jail was an animal control officer two dogs roaming on a busy street and in front of a university I cannot for the life of me catch these dogs I call for another officer to assist while I'm waiting I pull out my camera snap photos of the dogs sitting in front of university sign almost getting hit by a car on neighbors porches etc owners shows up corals his dogs I write him a stray roaming x2n proof of rabies no big deal show up to court bring your proof admit your dogs got out pay your 75 bucks fine and go one with your life well this guy had other plans he hired a lawyer I had my case filed with all my pictures nicely labeled onus where his dogs had not been running lose judge asks for my file and a description of his dogs he describes his dogs and they're the ones in the picture judge gives him another chance he swears he has no idea why he's here and those aren't his dogs judge flips my file to his dog sitting in front of university sign and asks if that's his dog man admits it's his dog but I snuck over after work when he was walking his dogs to snap pictures of them judge is not amused he orders the guy put in contempt for lying judge then asks for proof of rabies vaccination guy says he has it but he didn't bring it because he didn't think they were his dogs judge is not amused as he flips through my file he sees dog almost get hit and is a public nuisance on busy street these are the dog chilling or neighbor's porch the best of all judge asks if this is the first time the dogs have ever gotten out owner swears it is then judge flips to about eight notarized statements and our complaint log sheet showing multiple neighbors have called about his dogs being loose judge gets very mad and orders the guy 90 days plus contempt I didn't say anything but thank you for your time I would hate to be that guy explaining why he is doing time I tried to talk myself into a ticket once I'm a respiratory therapist who once worked in a small hospital and we didn't have 24-hour on-site coverage RTS were on call between 11:30 p.m. to 6:00 a.m. my pager went off one morning about 3:00 a.m. or so and so I had to go in I put on my scrubs and left I lived 26 miles away at the time so I know if I hit all the lights right I'll get there in 40 minutes at one section there's a bunch of shopping centers on either side of the highway and the lights are cycling the parking lots are completely empty and I approach this one light there just turned red I see there are no cars trying to go into the so I go through the red light needless to say I get stopped when the cop approached my car I gave him my license and registration and said to him officer I know I went through a red light I have to go to this hospital and put a patient on a ventilator here is my pager with the number of the hospital to verify this please give me my ticket so I can go on my way he looks at my license and registration looks at my pager and sees I'm wearing scrubs in my work badge he shakes his head and says you have to drive 26 miles that's crazy go but don't go through any more red lights and gives me back my license and registration I worked at the gate in trance to a military post one night three military policemen were helping us check it's a truck with two females and two males pulled up at about 230 am the women were married to soldiers dependent it's and the males were soldiers but not their spouses one in the back was being a little loud and attracted a cop over to the truck he started asking her questions and she started blabbing about how much she drank then she goes on to say she gave one of the males alcohol he was under the age of 21 but it was okay because he lived with her all four were arrested also I had to search the loud woman because she said her hidden cigarettes were in her bra I found her cigarettes right away but after some searching cold and find her eight I asked her when was the last time she had it and she said she handed it to the driver at the gate vertical-bar I totally searched through her boobs for nothing my brother story not mine there's a guy call him Larry he's known to the local PD the usual rhythmic with a drinking problem staff one night Larry backed into a utility pole while drunk and lost his license for two years he would have his wife or kids drive in places a few months into Larry's suspension brothers sitting in his car one night and sees Larry's truck go by it's easy to pick out because it was never fixed after hitting the pole there are two people in it but he doesn't know who is driving the truck was doing about so bro decided to pull him over by the time he gets out onto the road and finds the truck it's already parked in a gas station bro waited by the car thinking he would just give the driver a warning Larry and his wife walk out of the gas station and see bro Larry you gotta tell your wife to slow down well officer bro my wife wasn't driving I was damn it Larry you know you can't be driving but since I can't prove it was you just have her drive home and we'll call this a warning if I catch you driving you know it's your ass sure thanks Larry then proceeded to get in the driver's seat and drive off while my brother was still parked next to him bro pulled him over before he was even out of the parking lot and took him to jail coming home from work at 3:00 a.m. passed a cop going probably about 60 in a forty knew right away that I was going to get pulled over as I saw him hit the brakes around the corner I pull over knowing that anything else would be asking for trouble as I wait for him to pull up behind me I ask myself what the ticket is going to cost me and if speeding home for sleep at this point was even worth it officer comes to the window where you coming from and where you going I'm home and I'm coming from work where do you work the Hilton what do you do there here comes the fuck-me moment um I'm a bartender please step out of the car sir I step out asks me all the questions about whether or not I have been drinking I hadn't even though I just did a wedding and the groom's dad had been trying to do shots with me all night even to the point of asking my manager if it was okay she told him no it's against company policy et Cie etc anyway police officer asks me to blow into the breathalyzer I do the test comes back zero zero as I hadn't had a drop before I can apologize for speeding officer says have a good night that's all I ask confused he walks away and says yeah slow down I have to go catch some real bad guys I'll never forget it drove below the speed limit the rest of the ride home a guy I know is a police officer he is on patrol late on a Friday night and gets the call that a cabbie has a drunk woman in his cab she pooped all over the cab refuses to pay refuses to get out my friend goes to the scene and the cab driver says he doesn't even give a damn if he gets paid at this point just get this woman out of my cab my friend decides to be lenient and calls a drunk woman another cab he explains to her that she has to get out of this cab and another one will take her home new cap shows up he tells the woman it is time to go she gets up walks back to the patrol car and gets in the backseat my friend goes over and says this car doesn't go to your house this car goes to jail if you get in that other car you can go home the drunk lady tells him to go [ __ ] himself and she isn't getting out he tries again this car doesn't go home that car goes this car goes to jail are you sure this is where you want to be she tells him to [ __ ] off and he says good enough and hold her off to jail not talked into a ticket but blatantly did something whilst driving in front of me which got them arrested I work in a large city in the UK and it was 1:00 a.m. I was driving down a two-lane main route which goes from the city centre all the way out I'm driving behind the car which is sticking to the speed limit when the two of us catch up to a third car which is in front of us and was doing maybe 5 to 10 miles per hour under the limit driving under the speed limit always got me suspicious the car in front of me pulls into the outside lane and goes to overtake the third car which then blatantly swerves in front of the car to block them overtaking I mentally exclaim WTF before hitting the lights and pulling over the third car the good driver carries on their way in my mind I imagine them for once being happy there was a police car behind them sure enough third car as a drink driver gets arrested usually I have to find these folks but hey if they want to advertise themselves to me I'm cool with that when I was pregnant with my second baby I was experiencing high blood pressure and was told to watch for the warning signs of preeclampsia as many will know one of the signs is Vision's problems and experiencing or Authority lights so I wake in the early dawn and panic when I realize that the room is filled with flashing lights after allowing a couple of minutes to come round I realize it's from a patrol car so being a nosy [ __ ] I have a look out the window out there were two police cars with their lights on and a paddy wagon the latter of which was discharging my very drunk neighbor this bloke was several sandwiches short of a picnic he'll tbh he was missing the full [ __ ] hamper years before so I heard told and I had no reason to disbelieve my source he deliberately chopped his fingers off in an industrial accident so he could claim the compensation he'd never work since then claiming disability I guess operating on his three surviving brain cells was a disability he was a semi-functioning alcoholic who lived in a hoarders house more trash than treasures with his equally insane wife his daughter was even Lunia but that's another tale in a how idiot neighbor had gone for his regular Saturday night piss up and had crossed paths with a local plant I would imagine that most of them knew him by name they were doing the courtesy of bringing him home rather than slinging in him the cells although I'm not sure his wife would agree with their thinking but his final three brain cells were obviously drunk as hell because he fought them every which way he could and to their credit the plot did their damnedest to get him safely into his house eventually they gave up threw him in the back of the wagon and touted him back to the cells a few days later I saw his name in the papers to show up for court for a drunken disorderly for a brief period of time my father was a police officer if he saw military-based passes on the windshield of the car or something else signifying the driver was military he would let them off with a warning unless the driver was being a dick or dangerous this was after 9 over 11 and everything was tense for everyone he pulled over a car because they were speeding at least fifteen miles per hour over the speed limit he told them that there were a lot of deer in the area and told him to slow down so he didn't hit anything as he was about to send the guy on his way the guy got belligerently angry about my father wasting his time the guy told him to go [ __ ] himself and he knew what he was doing and several other things after a few minutes my father asked for his license and proof of insurance again and thoroughly ran the plates found the guy had his license suspended about a month earlier he ended up writing the guy up for speeding endangerment and driving with a suspended license we normally give other cops firemen or paramedics a break and don't write them I pulled the car over for doing easily 60 in a 35 I got to the door and he rudely announced I'm a firefighter oh all right you have your MFD ID and license hands it to me cool slow down a little okay being a firefighter doesn't give you a pass to drive crazy all the time Gyarados I can drive however I want oh really sit tight for me press hard three copies dummy UK walk to a pub after a bit of a pushing and shoving match between friends all sorted and walked away as myself and two other colleagues were doing so a guy shouts at us completely unprovoked or warranted from a distance of five six feet dirty [ __ ] things we tell him to stop swearing he says what are you going to do arrest me for drunk and disorderly you [ __ ] black bastards he was then arrested for being drunk and disorderly he also had three grams of cocaine in his pocket completely avoidable if he'd have just kept his mouth shut I was working at a UI checkpoint as a police Explorer while in high school I used to work these kind of events all the time and sometimes officers tended to be forgiving and let people go if they didn't have their driver's license on this day a man was sent into the pit where officers send the cars of those with violations because he didn't have his license on him he claimed he was on his way home from the store his story checked out due to the groceries in his car we were about to let him go when he tells us he remembers his driver's license number he gives it to us it comes back with a warrant for his arrest and now we have to search his car we find speed and a pipe to smoke it out of and so we bust him for that piece of advice quit when you're ahead my friend had just completed an exam I guess he didn't do so well and he arrived at his car already in a foul mood of course a cop had just finished writing him a ticket for an expired meter so he goes heiwa complaining the cop decides to write him another ticket this one for a broken windshield my friend really goes ballistic this time yelling waving his arms the cop of course writes him a third ticket for a broken taillight and my friend all three tickets and walks off my friend angrily goes to open his car door and suddenly realizes that it's not his car he put all three tickets under the windshield wiper and walked off a few years ago a friend of a friend of mine told me that his friend was driving him and a few others guys to go fishing there's this spot in our town where the speed limit goes from 45 to 25 as you enter downtown and cops always wait at the bottom because it's so easy anyway they got pulled over and I guess it went something like this you know why I pulled you over why you were going fifty in a 25 damn that's double isn't it smart guy too definitely cold talked his way out of it

Channel: ToadFilms

Views: 160,348

Rating: 4.9189191 out of 5

Keywords: cops, someone talk himself, into a ticket, ticket, talk yourself into a ticket, talk, cops ticket, cops of reddit, reddit, askreddit, askreddit funny, top posts, top posts of r/, r/, r/askreddit, reddit top posts, reddit cringe, comedy, reddit compilation, top posts of all time, askreddit question, askreddit top posts, ask reddit, askreddit reading, subreddit, reddit stories, best of r/askreddit, funny reddit, best reddit posts, best of reddit, ToadFilms, pewdiepie

Id: cdV_5D76ea4

Length: 16min 55sec (1015 seconds)

Published: Thu Sep 12 2019