Best of Sam Morril crowd work and hecklers

State how about you guys right here where do you guys meet up good friends what the [ __ ] but we're all rooting for him now aren't we that's how it goes she's like we're just two cute friends with baby faces who are drinking a lot of alcohol together you never know what could happen just good friends for real really oh you used to date married oh Mike [Applause] are you you you you you were married you have three kids not together this really is complicated this you have three kids but you were you were married and you're no longer married this is like the usual suspects I've never been so confused in my life wait no but you but you just got separated right and she had three kids you have three kids you should have sex with them just for happiness just for having to have three kids how old are you 23. did you ever think of coming in your hand or something because what the hell you're 23. didn't you have dreams [Applause] three kids [Applause] God damn that's I take it back don't [ __ ] him he doesn't know what to do with it it's crazy I had three kids at 23. you did too we get it you're the Midwest Jesus hey dude how old are you it's your birthday happy birthday what are you drinking tonight and hey get this guy whatever the hell he wants all night because he [ __ ] his life up whatever he wants on my tab because I like this dude why is this upsetting you so much it's not okay why yeah circle jerk that's your girlfriend she's noticeably quiet uh she's like you're opposite so she's cool [Applause] you got strangled by who patient a patient strangled you out of nowhere did someone preceded it oh my God I'm glad you're okay that's [ __ ] horrible whoa all right people you should strangle more nurses things really seem to pop off after that next time next time I'm getting my blood done I'll be like you [ __ ] [ __ ] like what are you doing I'm like hell milky anything's better one-night stand sex or relationship when I stand right here this dude yeah why do you like it better just you you're young how old are you no I'm not that you're 32. 32. oh wow you're just kind of a scumbag are you putting up good numbers right now it's a really solid year it's like stocks he's like we're having a really good year foreign how many of them were prostitutes zero what do you do I gotta be honest I kind of see it now I mean he's like I'm just kind of gray and women are like maybe I don't know like he's like you're like Jed I mind tricking that this guy sits down he's like I'm awesome I have a great sense of humor this is how Trump won by the way this is oh yeah you stood up too look at this one could I embarrass your son is this like the song of a porno what the hell is that you embarrass my son a Samsung I I could have told you that it's lovely to meet you Mrs Sarver who is it is that really your son and you're just unfortunately Phoenix is weird I wish it was messed up I know I've got the number of a great therapist and he's gonna be like he's gonna be like this is a picture I really want to [ __ ] my mom out there I was going to be like me too [Music] are you here with are you here with your husband he passed out the door's open bro and I'm very sorry for your loss [Music] [Applause] this is this is a star this is the lowest I've ever stooped in my comedy [Applause] it's gonna be an awkward car ride back that was a really weird thing the comedian just said it was so weird even weirder if we did it right totally saying yeah we totally can't have sex with mom inside what do you think's better one-night stand or relationship sex you want a nice thing ladies really who are these awesome women over here you Pro when I stand over relationships why do you prefer it you're in bad relationships you're not okay yeah I would hope not with that attitude often we do one nice Sandy thing you're with your kids so how was your son there he is all right I don't understand I don't know where you've been but you got one hell of a mom here right all right cool your mom is your mom is making noise Miss what are you drinking I said Miss what is your mom what is your cool horny mom drink is I want to know not vodka and Red Bull all right get her a vodka Red Bull on me immediately yeah can yeah you know what get him a whiskey on me too cause [Applause] you know what if if I was at a show with my mom and she was like I love to [ __ ] I'd probably want to drink too so you earned a kid it's on me you're really [ __ ] hammered sir what are you drinking but what kind [Applause] are you driving oh hell yeah no Uber who's what are you driving yeah that was not a good sign when you're driving somewhere you're not working I don't think that's the problem drunk driving I'd have to wake up tomorrow so if I flip my car off the highways [Applause] have you done a black girl I've hooked up with a black girl just trying to answer honestly I haven't had that many girlfriends you did a Spanish girl no it sounds bad when you break it down like this but white women [Applause] you're only going to respect me if I hit United Nations numbers what the hell how about you how many have you ever dated a white woman no have you ever dated a Jew no have you ever dated an Indian woman no no suck my dick [ __ ] you're hateful too hey I'm just grateful for Jewish awareness month they didn't have the Jeffrey Epstein filthy rich but what was that well thank you for coming tonight and uh how you enjoying the show there what God we are enjoying that show that was a weird time to scream that out though huh what was that bring it home what is this America's Got Talent what the hell thanks Heidi OS can I ask why you chose to scream out free Palestine after a Jeffrey Epstein joke foreign [Laughter] timing is everything and I will say this Omaha is full of surprises and [Applause] what so you're against apartheid uh where's your stance on [ __ ] up my show foreign [Applause] [Music] it's okay we're almost done here what what Miss what what about it we're almost done by the way what are you drinking Miss not you're drinking Justice wow I can't tell if you're mad at me or not this probably explains a lot of my relationships but are you upset oh a public statement at the Omaha funny bone [Applause] you ain't exactly Colin Kaepernick [Applause] hold on one sec I gotta take a sip of some justice here you're not even a high class of heckler you're like the Jared Leto Joker of hecklers [Applause] I like depressed women they're the [ __ ] but yeah oh thank you oh yeah yeah I did yeah you just got your [ __ ] feet on the stage too you're very yeah you don't give a [ __ ] I mean I figured that out it's weird that that became a point of pride remember when that was the bad thing when people were like that guy just doesn't give a [ __ ] but I think white women have stolen that and weaponized it and they're too annoying for us to [ __ ] say anything [Laughter] I think most guys are like just yeah I just don't want to deal with this whatever yeah you don't give a [ __ ] it's very admirable whatever you say but I'm here to say give a [ __ ] it's good to give a [ __ ] giving a [ __ ] do you give a [ __ ] you guys don't seem like a match yeah yeah he does seem Pleasant all right [Applause] [Music] um [Music] [ __ ] bucket right that's how you know you're not getting the top shelf stuff the head of the bucket together two years that's a good amount of time and a boy do you mean Brothers and very overcome in the South history my sister's brother as they mentioned your family so that's the only kind of it says implant says is okay right so the babies thinking that slow they just don't have confused he was like I don't think so I've had a few pockets [Applause] you don't want to be tied down you're young you look like a young guy 19. wow you're really young holy [ __ ] I didn't know 19 year olds were allowed in here this is crazy what are you really 19. what are you drinking water damn you don't have a fake ID or anything I guess you can't really cop to it now but that's are your friends all 19 too 20. all right 23. good job that's it Well Done 19 when you're 19 banging a 23 year old I'm not saying you're hooking up but the night is young a few more Waters you don't know where the knight's gonna take you know crazy you know but what are you drinking sir blue label we get it you have money Jesus blue label no I mean I believe you what kind of work are you in [Applause] that that is Miami in a nutshell [Applause] according to board been alive bro okay is that your woman right there too yeah where do you guys meet a long time ago where'd you guys meet life is good man you live in life is she a prostitute God is good God is God Is The Answer how many kids three how many guns 50. do you really have 50. all the guns are girls do you really have 50 guns I don't think I don't think you need 50 guns here's what happens someone breaks in you're like grab your guns and the intruders are like look at all these extra guns you're not that stupid you seem like you might be that stupid what how many guns on you right now she's like 47. one who's holding it you yes sir you have to call me sir you're the one with the god [ __ ] Missouri man Freedom yeah yeah five minutes later yeah it's weird though right Elon Musk is a [ __ ] weird dude he's a he's a bill I know if a billionaires are [ __ ] pretty weird no how would you how would you be weird what would you get 60 guns [Applause] [Music] soda all right that's a tall glass too holy [ __ ] by The Invisible Woman foreign [Laughter] my wife will be right back I swear the car's upside down all right he's doing great really did you just say tell me I licked her [ __ ] yeah that's your move would you would you do it on a one night stand are you here with the lady or no you are [Applause] have you gone to that romantic place where you're ready to eat her ass how often does this happen quite often that's such a proper way to say you eat bud clarity thank you for asking I get fired up to do it but then when I chicken out usually you know what I mean like in the moment I'm like I will eat that ass and she'll be like you don't have to do that and I'm like thank you that's uh did you just cause the N word quietly [Laughter] it was so unfair with this [ __ ] I was on the street once and I'm just walking down the street checking my phone and will go ah I know the guy and he goes racist so unfair well I did do that you know what I do after breakups I always uh I always send them a text like three months after the breakup and say hey I've been thinking and you were right about everything yeah why is that bad that's the point don't break my heart and I won't poison your next relationship did you just get out of something rough oh well then [ __ ] you I don't need your judgment when I'm still healing your Leo women who talk about their signs are like dudes who talk about crypto you've lost me I'm a Leo I'm a leaving okay uh I'm out of here but what does that mean that you're a Leo does that have any significance look it up I'm not gonna look it up you can't be annoying and give me homework that's what are you drinking a white claw get this [ __ ] alcoholic nurse a white claw me please [Applause] I'm a Virgo so I like to give people white claws that's what I do I [Applause] you having a hard week I'm sorry what's going on well clearly it's not here by the way what are you drinking what kind of welcome I'm gonna buy you one if you shut the [ __ ] up truly bad [ __ ] this feels like a future relationship for me right now I'm like holy [ __ ] toxic woman I'm listening she's got problems maybe I can fix them what part of town you wait you're not even from here oh you brought your [ __ ] West Coast [ __ ] to my show I should have known she wasn't a real New Yorker a New Yorker would have suffered silently [Applause] a West Coast person in the middle of my joke is like I'm sad I'm therapy now now so much how much is so much that's a lot what is something going on or I mean something really bad or you just the world oh you're one of those you literally spent 250 dollars a session to be like what are we gonna do about Ukraine the therapist is like thank God for you this is you were lining my pockets Sex Therapy is how you doing that no but what you've talked about it with your girlfriend what kind of what kind of Sex Therapy I think that's a I think that's an expensive way to get a third party to be like yes you can put stuff in his ass is that why you're going for a woman who's 60 in glasses to be like a butt plug could be very helpful what [ __ ] [Music] I don't think if you're a sex therapist I think you need a new girlfriend [Applause] I see she's not here with you tonight the what it's not rough it doesn't sound great though you brought this up coming I didn't I didn't walk over to you and be like well how come you don't get blown you screamed out of Sex Therapy I did one line of detective work you're like she just she doesn't suck it ever happens [Music] you go down on her [Music] [Applause] bro all right hey [Music] Jesus Christ let's go easy on it she's not in how about a little finger action I didn't think we'd be going here either guys but how about uh you know you've tried that too yeah what about a different dude have you tried that I think that might [Applause] foreign how long you been with her eight years oh there you go but I won't say that's eight years you gotta eat that [ __ ] dude you gotta I mean I've got a bad neck I'm getting in there come on man up man how often do you hear a white comic who's not on Death Jam go you gotta eat that [ __ ] foreign [Applause] what well thank God you're a woman dudes cannot pull that move you knocked in the wrong door he answered and you just kind of what happened you're not Brittany I mean yeah he does not look like a Brittany at all you said that you're not Brittany and and you just hung out you invited him wow that's what a [ __ ] layoff Cleveland is all right that's never happened to me I've never heard a woman knock on my door and be like you're not a woman want to come back to my place did you hook up the first night yes right as he nutted he said it's Britney [ __ ] I think this lady is asleep right here holy [ __ ] front row completely out what do you drinking [Music] you're not drinking why uh because my wife is just now showed up [Applause] [Music] you're kind of sassy I like it this is like this is Kentucky goes one or two ways you'd be like well I hope you have a lovely day or well I haven't seen my waitress and I think she can go [ __ ] herself [Applause] you got a bill yeah what do you think that's some crazy conspiracy or a business somehow I ordered drinks and they remembered to charge me for those is this your dude right here oh they're married these two that's your wife the one who's passing out [Applause] you work in the hospital I know I'm teasing you it's a comedy show this isn't a personal attack I'm glad you would keep shaking her head she's like how dare you you fell asleep in the front row I'm gonna [ __ ] address it [Applause] was a long day at the hospital what do you do with the hospital a nurse Tech that's good I'm glad you go ahead you definitely have the personality of a nurse [Applause] beat it up what what I was talking about let me break down the sequence of events you were snoring three feet from me I said hey she's asleep everyone laughed you woke up you were startled and then you were like I don't understand [Applause] oh it's your birthday yes get her another my time please you drive they wouldn't let you they wouldn't let a passed out person order more alcohol it's a really weird policy at the at the liquor place on my tie for the birthday woman and uh an IV drip for this nurse right here [Applause] I think it was a surprise birthday [Applause] thank you [Music] nurses it's like cops they deserve to get [ __ ] up I mean it's like it's a tough job five minutes later I don't want to generalize here but uh all women uh oh everyone has ever lived they get very cranky when they're hungry I've noticed no they don't no just when they're sleepy [Applause] she's [ __ ] saucy I just want you to finish it yeah I know oh you're enjoyed oh that didn't sound like it a second ago is that what you say while your husband's [ __ ] you I'm just waiting for you to finish whoa I like it you're doing great well well you know what I hate most about the Jetsons what no black people isn't that crazy yeah they're trying to say you're gonna kill all the black people in the future yeah isn't that [ __ ] up and Flintstones had no black people in the past what the [ __ ] hey just try to enjoy the middle well uh it's like if you've got a stuffed doll with you you came straight from the boardwalk what happened oh why do you have a big stuffed cat with you you went to the amusement park all right what game did you win you could talk loudest during my show foreign you all right what game did you play yeah she was asking if I'm all right yeah I'm perfectly fine I'm the one who's supposed to be talking you played the claw can we get it around your mouth for a few minutes [Music] you know what you just won at this comedy show self-awareness foreign sorry it's just been doing this for a very long time you what you know you know yet you persist I'm making money yeah I'm earning it I'm ironing it up here what do you do for work good for me is what you do for work what kind of you don't seem like a fan of mine I don't know it's good for you making money at your job yeah that's where you make money usually at your job that's where it happens what kind of work are you in you're a nursing student you're going to have to learn patience you won't catch me in a nursing bed yeah because I'm never coming back here spur of the moment are you familiar with free will the sport was he a fan is that why you're here nobody knows that I think they know me foreign [Applause] sold out [Applause] Pete granted I don't make any problems go away great job I don't think you're going to be a very good nurse I gotta be honest and I don't think your boyfriend's happy to be here with you right now I think this car ride home is gonna suck he's gonna be like let's uh let's go to a movie next time let's do something work you don't talk to me um are you doing all right with her over there sir you should be more like him that's a good man right there he's like I know this ain't gonna end well can you can you behave for the rest of the show I need verbal confirmation you're you're so far out of pocket you don't even know what pants are foreign thank you that's that is a bad person isn't that weird one I think she can still hear me because it's my part there that's not a good human being I can't believe I'm going to say this but I think the car even the carnival is probably like you gotta get out of here it's just really alive

Channel: Sam Morril

Views: 652,958

Keywords: Sam Morril, Crowd Work, Hecklers, Comedy, Stand Up, Bert Kreischer, Mark Normand, Anthony Jeselnik, Jimmy Carr, Chris Rock, Dave Chappelle, Tom Segura

Id: VUbc4t_OWuQ

Length: 40min 5sec (2405 seconds)

Published: Fri Dec 23 2022