John Ajodah - New York Comedy Club Full Roast battle

ladies and gentlemen introducing to you first he's done roast battle he's killed roast battle you also clapping hands right now for Joshua Lampley [Applause] let's go what's up family I'm good good man good this guy's already heckling my name did you yeah I heard him I heard him I'm gonna win you over bro just your way just so you wouldn't every joke to you bro just wait just wait ladies and gentlemen his opponent coming to the stage he was previously the roast battle Champion he's here for you tonight so I clap your hands right now for John and jota [Applause] you've already got these guys dude it's over how come everyone in the front row is the same race [Laughter] I'm thriving oh nice why does this feel weird everyone's jealous [Music] [Applause] all right y'all I know what you're thinking John may seem like a virgin but I know that's not true okay you don't win the Scripps National Spelling be 25 straight years and not get some [ __ ] come on now my boys drowning and spelling be puss y hey baby what's your country of origin sir [Laughter] so to uh to be totally upfront with you guys last time we Rose to Joshua beat me so beforehand we decided to have a little wager if I win this time I get to [ __ ] his sister and if if Joshua wins he gets to watch [Applause] you hear that judges y'all better pick him come on let's go uh John's mom is Italian which means she's fat [Applause] but she also married a brown man which means she's really fat you got she's [ __ ] huge I don't know you're not going to be able to Tick-Tock dance your way out of this one [Music] uh Josh Josh runs a waffle waffle show he's quirky but um he runs it with his girlfriend uh his high school sweetheart she's gonna be a sophomore this year [Applause] foreign all right guys this is true John hasn't seen his Indian dad since he was 17. which is crazy because I think he ubered me here tonight dude I got him I could have told him to wait outside [Applause] I had no idea he's not he's not an Uber driver he was a plane driver second tower baby second power but uh he's not technically a pilot but uh dude [Applause] [Music] shots fired anyway speaking of it doesn't Josh look like Jesus but instead of having 12 disciples delivering the word of God he has 12 men delivering their [ __ ] into his mouth [Applause] foreign [Music] Applause ladies and gentlemen [Applause] that battle was fun it was mean it started off with a catchphrase [Music] Josh hit him with the first joke was like come on now come on now and every yo after every joke I was back come on now that's a lot of fun Jill who you think got round one yo this was tough this was tough because Josh you look like you're about to come out speaking Yiddish and then you sound like the heart of the Confederacy [Laughter] and then John you're you you are the villain but like at a summer camp [Applause] [Music] so uh this was tough I think John barely got it just on his you know he's a he's a witty little comebacker oh and your toes all right yeah so I'm giving it to John oh my God that was [ __ ] tough Jesus Christ the confidence versus the awkwardness that was really tough I'm gonna give it to my little brother he got it from him he got my vote holy [ __ ] all right this looks like this looks like an episode of The Big Bang Theory um ah Josh looks like a racist surfing instructor and John just looks like a racist um it was so close I think just barely Josh won though oh man this is tough uh because John's dad did drive me here so uh uh I'm gonna be the odd man out John you you got it for me a little bit those jokes were nice [Applause] [Music] my bad I'm a pig [Applause] there we go baby that's how we do that [ __ ] Nika white in the house [Applause] [Music] [Applause] you see it's a lot harder to win a roast battle when all your friends aren't in the front row right [Music] [Applause] Josh has Josh has a big Surfer Vibes right serving the web for child pornography [Applause] oh Hang Ten dude Hang Ten no okay Josh is from the south so uh hanging 10 doesn't refer to uh surfing [Applause] it was you're gonna love this next part but it was his Target number for the lynchings I don't know he did it not me but hey Josh are you from Tennessee because the only ten I see is the age of that girl you're Snapchatting [Applause] Josh has uh Josh is in an interracial relationship but um he [Music] he still maintains his traditional Southern values all right he did not have sex with her until after he bought her [Applause] [Music] but yeah Josh grew up Catholic in rural Tennessee so the only thing more segregated than the races were his ass cheeks by the priests [Music] are you all right I uh I personally I hate when other Comics say that Jon is on the Spectrum because he's not okay he's in nectarine Center the Spectrum call center look guys look I would never accuse anyone of child pornography okay John has every nude his friends received in high school saved on his phone I guarantee it I guarantee it yeah oh no yeah should I have done the catchphrase that's it uh John looks like he works glaze duty at the Dunkin Donuts glory hole thank you come again thank you come again okay uh this is a fun fact John can actually Bend his fingers all the way back against his own hand he learned that trick so that he could finger multiple children at once show him yeah foreign [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Laughter] all right uh John is Indian John is Indian so he grew up watching cricket and now he performs comedy to them every night of the week so that's full circle full circle that's it that's fine that's fine yep you never abandoned the catchphrase come on now get them around Applause ladies and gentlemen fun work man this is fun fam this is fun all the battle's been good tonight I don't know what it is about this side tonight but yeah battle's been good my [ __ ] jumped up did a lap right quick [ __ ] excellent so there's no way we can [ __ ] this up yo judges Josh's last joke was so wholesome everyone had to stop like wait it's not about [ __ ] kids oh this is a great battle I I think John won that though clearly it was very good though that's one for John uh what the [ __ ] was that finger thing dude did that bother anyone else that was weird as [ __ ] right imagine him doing that dude don't do it again that's [ __ ] weird that's [ __ ] weird dude how did you know that God damn it that's weird oh okay I'm gonna give it to gay Jesus on third round there you go Zach said [ __ ] it I'm doing that for my religion uh [Applause] Jill what a freak Show um I do I want to keep this going you both had good rounds I want to keep it going just so I can learn more weird things about your body John so I'm gonna give this to Josh okay okay doesn't matter what I vote but I want to vote against your finger I'm gonna give it to you though I thought you wanted the fingers disgusting we should cut it off after the show okay so let me see how did that go that went oh that's another tie that's why I don't [ __ ] with this four judges [ __ ] don't worry don't don't worry I got you trust me I've had you all night we gonna do this what who gives a [ __ ] dude we wanna we wrote all right dude shut the [ __ ] up you're weird [Applause] first of all [ __ ] John John Josh challenge right that's a title I changed my vote I go Josh we going to the third round well first of all we don't got to but we going to the third round so y'all let's have some fun [Applause] [Music] so y'all for the hell of it [Applause] okay guys I will admit John is somewhat autistic which is why he's such a great roaster as you can see uh he's actually the rose champion of New York right now which is pretty badass Burgers it's really bad Aspergers all right oh we pushed this to a third round for that [ __ ] [Applause] Boardwalk to defend okay [Laughter] Josh is uh I'm half Indian Josh is a quarter Cuban actually we're both pretty racially ambiguous except when uh women describe me it's usually not through tears through a campus security officer [Applause] shots fired [Applause] John kind of looks like he roofies women's goblets at D and D games [Applause] her awareness is down 100 XP I'm gonna attack you know [Applause] it's called the sleeping potion [Music] [Applause] Josh is uh Josh is a good looking guy he's actually a model uh you might recognize him from that ad for the brochure for as the before picture for the gay conversion therapy you want to try that one again or okay all right I actually it actually went over really well but all right guys is it just me or does John look like he's really good at coding men spaces and come you know no okay [Applause] the moral Compass of this audience I know it's all over the place what do you guys stand for yeah absolutely nothing [Applause] Josh is like uh he reminds me of a pinata you know he's hispanic he's a lot of fun at parties and he's usually getting beat off by a kid [Applause] [Music] [Applause] I also give him a Snickers after too oh man uh John is actually a very talented sketch artist he specifically likes to draw women into his van where he abducts them [Laughter] that's her but Josh looks like Jason Momoa with AIDS yeah everybody give it up for sucks coquaman [Applause] talking to fish is what he calls eating his girlfriend's [ __ ] this is actually true John once got an STD from an Egyptian woman I bet her [ __ ] Spinks bro [Music] [Applause] oh man Josh is what we in Show Business call a triple threat a rapist a pedophile and uh most worst of all he sucks at comedy [Applause] oh [Applause] all right [Music] you know what [ __ ] cause the night we've had because of how it's been y'all been on point all night judges I thank y'all for everything I don't even need y'all on this one yes ladies and gentlemen would you please give round one plus our judges Beecher Jill James and Zach [Applause] audience for the hell oh bro great to see as always man appreciate you y'all so look here ladies and gentlemen for the fun of it the final decision Falls with y'all the way it goes is I put my hand over each comic you make noise for the person you think won and then we decide to win it and we out this [ __ ] sound good let's go and get it started then ladies and gentlemen one time if you think Joshua Lampley won all right ladies and gentlemen John and Jonah [Applause] jealous y'all don't leave

Channel: TeamQuabs

Views: 1,699

Keywords: john ajodah, comedy, roast battle, jokes, new york comedy club, roasting, roasted, nycc, comedian, stand up comedian, stand up comedy

Id: 7ZC3n9KpwlU

Length: 20min 41sec (1241 seconds)

Published: Tue Aug 01 2023