Jim Gaffigan | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #453

we have some new tour dates and these are some new ones Memphis Tennessee we've added a show August 4th and 5th at the cannon Center for the Performing Arts um I know the Chattanooga show sold out don't worry uh don't go get a fancy price ticket we will come back um and you'll have another opportunity Toronto Ontario uh August 30th and 8th show added in Toronto San Jose California we've added a second show September 14th uh and 13th Oakland California September 16th at the Paramount Akron Ohio we've added a show um on the 8th or 7th Washington D.C we've added a show October 19th and 20th if your city is sold out just keep an eye out we'll come back through we also have some tickets left for Windsor Ontario on August 18th get your tickets through theovan.com t-o-u-r and thank you so much for coming out and supporting the return of the Rat tour today's guest is an iconic uh comedian uh actor I watched one of his movies not long ago it's so good um this is the second time on the podcast he's out of Indiana and he has a new special coming out on Amazon next week called Dark pale he has a new television series too you can check out called Full Circle on Max I'm grateful to chop it up with my buddy today Mr Jim Gaffigan [Music] and are you [Applause] I don't know what you're you know if you're with a podcasting thing or but it's like the impact see that looks better bro yeah that looks nice I'm a good looking guy I yeah well so does it feel like you're getting crazy like the podcast is getting busier yeah yeah it feels like it's getting busier I feel like we've been really lucky I think we're independent too since we don't work with a network I think that people like that what is the what makes you connect with people I mean it's the every man thing but it's also like is there another you know authenticity people crave that right yeah maybe they do I think they probably do especially these days you know yeah I think we want to try and I mean yeah if I hear something that seems that's real or somebody's talking about something that's a mean something to them I think it means a lot uh yeah I don't know why we've been really fortunate I you know um yeah we've had we've gotten to have some unique guests I think you know I've always enjoyed talking all different types of people you know I think I'm I'm a late learner kind of you know some podcasters they have a lot of information right I don't have it right but I am curious about a lot of stuff curiosity is key right yeah yeah and I think I want to learn still you know yeah you look but you look handsome man oh thank you what's the most handsome you've ever felt in your life you ever think about that like was there ever uh that's a very good question um you know as a male model I struggle with it no I don't think I've ever really felt particularly handsome I always seem to look at pictures from the past and go oh that was I should have been happier yeah right yeah I you know and I my you know having teenagers you know it's so brutal being a teenager and I'm like dude you got a good you know but your metabolism's working still yeah you can yeah you can have a pint of ice cream it's not doesn't make a dent your dexterity yeah your hair health is even your hair is strong you know like we you know like you don't have a mustache yet they don't they don't hear like when people like aches and pains they don't have aches and pains really not a chance but I don't know I never really I never really felt particularly good looking I feel like I've never been that's never been an asset how about you I you seem like I feel like ignored in a like a Nordic area you would have ve you would be a I could see you being a like a like Hasselhoff and sweep me no no I like yeah that's very kind of like a Nordic kind of mountain model there is there you know like among comedians there is like there is this strange thing where I think uh some comedians get embraced as being attractive but I don't think that's in my that's not a theoretical thing that you know like Steve Carell like I think there was like this is just maybe me you know getting it from Twitter but you know women were like Steve Corral you know it's like I'm like Steve Carell yeah that's and so you see that coming yeah but I don't think that's that's not in the the likelihood or the possibility for me what about like in the 1700s or something foreign like was there a time period you think because I I mean I think I think you're a handsome your height you're tall so that gives you some handsome well pale you know and then there was the reubeness period like oh yeah you know like being uh being pudgy means that you're not poor and being pale means that you're not working in the field but I don't think that's been real you'd have been the rock dude in the 1600s 1600s I would have been people would have been there would have been posters I mean they all would have been drawn they're like did you see how how pale and fat that guy is oh my God that he's beautiful he's so hot is that Emily radakowski right I would be like the male radakowski yeah of think about like the Breakthrough I mean there's so many beautiful women but Emily Ratajkowski like you brought that up I knew exactly what you mean what is it about her and how long have you been dating her yeah because it's not out of the possibilities I'm a married man but I don't know you could date her I don't get Emily Ratajkowski I get you don't get you don't get it you don't I get that she's pretty yeah I get that yeah she looks pretty to me but I don't get hit on by that type of gal no no I get uh who do I get well let me let's put it out there I get a lot of like people like you know kind of rural women right send me like a nude picture kind of be like a drive out here and eat this they'll say stuff like that because they're ladies right good point and they're but they're like they're it sounds like it involves some travel yeah well it's out travel a lot of them are outside of the city limits it's a connecting flight too which is like you're like you know but you know I'm kind of uh I'm kind of a Suburban rural guy too yeah you're I mean so like I think and I don't know if we talked about this last time but like there is something of I mean look I love I live in New York and I've lived in New York for 30 years but like when I like these different markets you know uh these cities are smaller towns like I have I have a good time there like when I hang out in Cedar Rapids I'm like and I'll go to a restaurant I'm like yeah this is this feels very familiar and like once you pie first sir no no but do you know what I'm saying oh yeah it's like a steakhouse in Cedar Rapids yeah that's I prefer that than a super fancy restaurant in New York or L.A yeah it's a good point man I think I do too I think you feel more at ease more comfortable more likely to see a fight I feel like there's more you know somebody will come over and say they they like your blouse or your shirt or something you can wear an apron in there and people don't look at you weird yeah you know like there is like if a guy no one's in uh an outfit like that's right like if so no one's kind of dressing uh like Eddie Vedder yeah they they dress like that even yeah do you know what I mean yeah yeah yeah and yes you'll see the most beautiful women oh God beautiful like you ever been to like let's come on Santo dude Monsanto will preserve a babe you know what I'm saying you get some of those field names those Daughters of farm hands brother uh what I I just think of like times when I you know I've been on bus tours with my family and we'll go horseback riding and there will be just like working at some horse ranch the most beautiful woman in the world and you know she probably sleeps with the horses and she smells like the horses but not an ounce of makeup on her and she's better looking than any woman in the city yeah anyway I'm a great guy I don't know if I brought that up yeah no I think look it's you seem like a great guy and I think it's um yeah it's interesting I think the like view like how we feel beauty how we feel if we're handsome I think it's interesting because I'll look at old pictures of myself as well and be like man you had a chance with girls you didn't think you had any chance in the world right but you had it you were or you just thought so lowly of yourself but man you were doing good yeah no I wasted the time that's what I feel like sometimes I go back on it well I think there's uh anxiety uh and you know there's the chemicals racing through you when you're a teenager it's hard by the way I think you know having a couple teams I think it's way harder to be a teenager now than it was it really oh brutal so when we went to high school we were compared to this pool of people in our school I mean kids today they're compared to everyone on social media it's brutal oh that's true I never thought about that and so like also the adventures that we would go on to like find you know mushrooms wheat or or pornography oh it was an adventure and now it's kind of thrust on these kids and so you know I'm sure there's scientific explanation but it's almost like you know you had to go on a scavenger hunt to even get in trouble uh at least for me right so there was a journey to it too yeah you know whereas now it's it's you know you you know it's pretty easy you can get it delivered now you know what I mean yeah and that's great when you're 30 40 but like when you're 15 or 18 it's like it's almost too easy to get weed now oh yeah it's too easy to get a high it's too easy to get anything I mean armor with pornography we had this dude in our neighborhood names they called him Skittle was his nickname and he was like um impaired or whatever yeah you know he had impairment well what kind of impairment he didn't have uh his legs didn't work yeah so it was in oh he was he was handicapped he was bipedal or whatever what is that called paraplegic paraplegic yeah this para so like just his like was he in a wheelchair yeah he was in a wheelchair but sometimes they would and then at the video store they would his like uh Handler or whatever it was his cousin would push would like get him out and let him crawl under the uh into the nudie room in there oh that's nice and people would be I mean you would kind of because you knew he was probably and I hate to say that she knew he was never going to mate in his life right probably but people would be so excited you know they'd be like Skittles in the nudie rooms you know and and was he called skills because he enjoyed the candy Skittles or I don't know that's a good question I think he uh he said from what I think he liked all candies I remember but he just yeah people I don't know there was just something excited about him people be like oh Skittles in the nudie room and people would be so excited it's so amazing how there was a nudity room there was there was I mean the the Blockbuster was just kind of like Hey we're not gonna have that yeah we don't believe in that but like the off kind of like the independent stores there would be uh there would be kind of like movie you know like regular movies and then there would be like the the r rateds i mean the the kind of like naughty stuff and you would have to like if you would go even as a you know a teenager or like in your 20s and you had curiosity you needed a reason to go over there right you needed like hey why don't we go over here just to check it out like you couldn't be like you couldn't go in and make a beeline for it yeah yeah you had to be like this is so silly what's this stuff oh my gosh what's this yeah are they selling cigarettes yeah what is it what is this oh this is gross but now a kid just turns on I mean by the way Twitter like I don't know if you get this Twitter's very dangerous it's like there's like just I don't know open the pictures just because I'm a Christian yeah but uh there's like they said this the spam or the robots send you pornography it's insane and you're like you know I'm trying to like because you know you you go through a process I think uh most men where you're like all right I'm going to set some boundaries there's nothing too productive and consuming pornography so I'm gonna I'm gonna set up some boundaries or some barriers but like when it's thrown at you yeah and why are robots doing that that makes me believe even more like in UFOs and people are like yeah they took me somewhere yeah and put something in my butt and they dropped me back off like it's always they're always putting stuff in people's butts too and they yeah but and at first I'm like are they would they really do that but then now that I see that these otherwise are just emailing people like it's you know these like these Bots or whatever like email and porn to people it's like obviously these these aliens are pervert I don't even I don't know if it's aliens but I don't know what I mean I guess I've never clicked on it but like it's I guess it's to get you to watch their porn right yeah yeah I think different people want you like come over here step right up you know yeah well guess how much Siemens in you you know we'll guess that you know your weight in semen or whatever when I was a teenager I thought you had a limited Supply I thought you could run out oh dude I the first erection ever got it was coming up and I thought it was a like a poop in my body that it was going the wrong way that's a that's a normal response and I really thought it was a poop yeah it was so scary because it was the same shape and I was like oh my god dude I one of my poops is lost I mean even like it's just so it was so scary remember your body growing and people thought it would grow forever I had a buddy who got so scared he thought his his whole body would grow into a wiener and like there would be nothing left of him and then the wiener would grow and then it would go back and he would reform yeah I just remember having leg spasms and and did your nipples hurt yeah remember that no one talked you about it yeah well you know when I was growing up no one talked to you about any of that stuff you know there was just like there was just you had to figure it out and I thought I was mentally ill I mean I am mental ill but like I thought oh my God you know I'm like the biggest pervert in the world and the reality is I was just like a 15 year old boy yes you know what I mean no one was like hey because I've kind of done that I'm like look hey it's it doesn't mean you're a bad person it just means I'm not saying engage in it you know I'm not saying Go full animal uh you know even though some people do but like you know it doesn't mean you're a bad person yeah it's true that you yeah I think in the past it's there's been a lot of that energy like something there's something wrong with you yeah like if you walked up to a monkey at the zoo because monkeys they say some of the monkeys will uh masturbate and stuff six to seven times a day at the zoo so if you if you saw somebody walk in there to one of them and be like you know sit them down in the chair on the side of the shame man yeah say you're filthy yeah you're filthy you're not behaving like an animal yeah you'd be like that person's crazy for saying that to that monkey right or or there'll probably be some people that are like finally someone's telling that monkey stop doing that it's all relative right and then there's people that would be like I can't believe that you're judging that monkey's Behavior do you know what I mean yeah there'll be somebody else being like that monkey can choose its own pronouns and be like it's not about that okay it's just jerking off too much and you know there's that and then there's also throwing the the the shed yeah they throw there yeah they throw a lot of anything comes out of their body they're willing to throw it why do we I feel like it's like Mardi Gras we have you know but there's no beads right you know like if they or maybe that's their beads right yeah they're just throwing that out they're naked all the way like it's it's not like they're even flashing because like supposedly if you flash then to get the beads but the problem was that Mardi Gras and I'll say this man is that the breasts you saw were good or bad they were not good right they were drunk they look like some of them had been drinking like the breast alone had been drinking right by itself even some of them yeah um they uh that's another problem with pornography is we set up false expectations of what breasts are supposed to look like yeah that's another reason not to watch porn right well you've kind of gone again I mean I'm sure you've seen in your lifetime where breasts fake breasts really popped off do you remember the first time you're like wow they're putting in yeah there was a yeah I mean the I don't know I'm kind of like I'm not a huge like there's there's part of me that's the whole huge breast thing it doesn't it's weird you know like for me it doesn't do anything you know I mean and some guys like big breasts some guys like like big butts I'm kind of you know I like yeah I like I like shape but I don't like and and it's a mystery to me because some guys really like big butts some guys really like I remember when I first started stand up I was doing some Road gag and this headliner was like here I want to show you something and he showed me and it was a Polaroid of him with a woman that had like enormous like gigantic and he was he was kind of bragging he's like see see see who I met and I was like this is what's head this is what you're headed towards I was like you play your card and I wanted to be polite and I was polite but I was like that's you know like that's obviously she needs help yeah I mean but like and I didn't want to rain on his parade but he was like yeah that's what got him off that was like he was I'm sure he probably still has that Polaroid yeah like maybe if he was maybe when he dies he's buried with the Polaroid of the woman with the gigantic boobs some guys it's interesting how that's all they care about boy they're looking amazing different taste yeah I think well they started to get we yeah some of the boobs started to look like somebody had filled up a glad bag too big you know you ever have that one somebody pulls a black Glide bag out of a like at a restaurant when they're doing the dumpster they went there and they pull the bag out of that can and it's way too heavy for the bag you know and it's not gonna make it and there's there's liquids there's liquid dripping out and you're like that's gonna that's gonna be a mess yeah that's just gonna be a mess it's just it's weird I need to know all right so uh you're you're in though are you a big boob guy or a little like if you tell me you're like I like enormous boobs I wouldn't be shocked and I don't mean that as an insult no it's fine but like are you a big boob guy are you a big butt guy I think I'm more of probably a um I think I like them you know a more I think I'm more of probably a mid-range I like a little bit of buttocks yeah you know I like a woman that's healthy enough to conceive right right you know I don't like um I'm not into those kind of needle Army looking you know the kind of girls who looked a little bit too weathered yeah you know like I need a woman that's healthy enough to be able to have a family right so I think that's a big thing for me um you know there was a what was the question you asked me it was about like a types of web because here I'll bring this up my brother um uh one of his he really he liked a woman that looked good in a baseball cap and a turtleneck which I thought was really interesting and um I mean that's a setup for a joke he's you know like now he's like a serial killer right no but like but it is interesting he really like if she looked cute in a baseball cap he he was like she looks good yeah she's she's great yeah and so like there's different things there's types right that's a good point there's different scenarios you want your woman to look good in kind of that's that's a really good point right it's kind of like you know I remember when I was considering asking my wife to marry me I was like you know what I could have fun folding laundry with her I mean now we hate each other but at the time we could do you earned that hatred but no but it is like one of those things where it's not just about how they look in a a small skirt you know I mean it is about you know and not just like their fun at uh you know or something right but it is interesting First Impressions matter they do you know it's important how do you how do you present yourself and for me I like to take care of myself I like to take care of my skin keep my skin decent and Men occurred baby that's what I like to do and I use Caldera lab I use their regimen it's called the regimen actually in Caldera lab creates a high performance men's skin care product and the regimen leads off their product lineup it's a twice a day routine to transform your skin God look at his skin I want some of it that's right the Caldera lab the bundle you'll find the skincare Dream Team the Clean Slate the base layer and the good they even have an eye serum if you like that called the icon if you don't like all that that's fine but if you do Caldera lab get 20 off with our code Theo at Caldera lab that's c-a-l-d-e-r-a-l-a-b.com that's 20 off at calderalab.com by using Code Theo jump into skin and first impression royalty with Caldera lab so your ideal woman let's put it out there okay right there then I would say she has nice eyes like kind of caring eyes like eyes oh warm eyes warm eyes yes because that is true it's important it's important to the kids too yes definitely you know you don't want some cold-eyed freaking Slytherin broad yeah you know making even serving muffins to your children no so warm-eyed um I would say hard working hard-working sense of humor is really important yeah sense of humor or the ability to laugh even being able to laugh though is also like having an inverse sense of humor like if somebody's a good laugher I think it's just as it's almost better than it's in humor because at least they're they're getting they're having the joy you know by the way the hard worker thing I think is really key too yeah yeah my wife is a very hard worker and that's that's uh that's great because then you can do less is I mean I'm we have a similar work ethic we enjoy working you know what I mean and I wouldn't say working I I'm not saying like hey let's go grab some construction shifts you know it's like you know uh it's fulfilling for us I mean yeah and life's hard work it's like if you want to stay in a marriage it seems like it's a lot of like if you really want anything to work you got to do it you know that's what it seems like yeah um how tall how tall I would say anywhere probably five six yeah to six one okay and how tall are you I'm willing to go on the outlier side with the height I am six foot you wouldn't care if she was taller I don't think I would care as long as she didn't do little things to me like probably Pat on Like Pat me or something like that I'll call you shorty yeah yeah yeah or say hey give me that little wiener yeah and things like that and what about uh and what about the do you want her to be younger than you older than you I would probably say younger than me you know I want her to be able to Bear you know bear children if she wants to yeah um but then I got to make sure that I'm in a good space too you know I don't want to be some philanderer right right I don't want to be a man who's peeking over the fence and you know talking to the neighbor's wife right and I don't want to be you shouldn't be neighborly you shouldn't be talking even to a neighbor um no but you're saying so you you want to also be mature you want to be to the point yeah yeah I don't want to be doing any more like I don't want to be more do any more conniving or any like I wanna you know I just want to be locked in yeah did you have a point where you were like was it scary for you when you were like okay I'm gonna get married this is it like did you have your mom like who dropped you off to go ask your wife would you drive over there how did you do it I was uh my mom dropped me off no uh no I uh I was at my brother's house we'd gone back we used to go back and we'd go to Indiana and then we'd drive through Chicago and go to Milwaukee where my wife's from and I you know my wife and I we had this agreement that she was gonna tell me when she was ready to be proposed you know because you know the whole you you don't there's no risk you don't want them to be like uh no and you don't want you to process no so and we had talked about we had dated for a while and um and I was at my brother's place and uh we were smoking a cigar in his garage and I said you know I tell you if I had a ring I probably would ask her and he goes oh I can give you a ring I'll give you a mom's old ring I used it and you can use it and I was like oh and so then you're really on the spot and I was like this all right but you know again I had also kind of made that decision do you know what I mean so the decision had already been made yeah you know I mean it wasn't like oh my brother told me to do it so I did it you know what I mean so uh and then we went up there and I knew that I kind of wanted to surprise her and so I did it right in front of her entire family and she's one of nine kids and we had done opening presents and her I had asked her dad for permission he was like cooking in the kitchen and he's kind of a a great guy but like at that point we didn't know each other that well so he was like taking something out of the oven I was like hey I would like to ask your daughter and marry me and he's like yeah okay and so then we were opening presents and all the presents had been opened and then I I did it and it was did you feel nervous did you get down on one knee it's so well I think as a comedian there's so many it's you know there's so many awkward situations we go in you know where you have a show where you eat [ __ ] you have a show where you do okay but you can tell half the audience thinks you're a [ __ ] I mean so like it was it was awkward it was uh it was you know it was nice but it's I'm also you know are these these watershed moments for me are uh they're not nearly as important as like you know the the moment where I feel like I really connected with my wife you know like my child being born there was you know it was special but it's not as special as like you know the time when you take a walk with them right for me yeah there's like a real connection yeah man or like right those are kind of just built-in tent pole moments that are yeah almost I don't want to say old-fashioned they're very important yeah but they don't but that it's not like uh it doesn't mean everything I I for me you know if that's a good point I think it's a really good point for everybody we put all these old it's almost like we put these kind of like tyrannical like emotional attachments to these moments even though they're they might not be there because times have kind of changed so yeah having a wedding these days which is really just a huge party that takes so much planning which is more about the planning than it is even the vowels yes and this the unnecessary stress oh God put on a sangria all these yeah you know oh my God the bread is wrong you know it's like who cares yeah who cares dude right I barely know this woman who cares that's the only reason I'm here yes anybody mention that they should have a vote at weddings like should we do it or not and people have to really vote that's funny wouldn't be a bad idea I mean a silent and because it's also your loved ones so it's a really harsh thing and you shouldn't be able to open it until the next day oh it's like the vote came in well it's and it's like a Rotten Tomato score like as long as we get 18 yeah that's it but you're like yeah 43 yeah that's not good but what the audience score said a lot of old tropes and misdirected plot twists but a lot of people don't believe in me they think I'm gonna cause this because your family should have a vote should have a vote because you're bringing that genetics into your gene pool well you know it feels like the family overall should have a vote well there's also something that happens where you I think the you know it's probably different in different cultures and different family cultures but you kind of get absorbed I think I feel like the men get kind of absorbed into the the woman's family yes a much more than uh the woman getting absorbed into them I mean obviously there's a good point yeah and it's so there is something of you know like when you're dating someone and you meet their parents you're like okay so this is this is the future right in some ways but also their relationship and my wife's mother is like a saint and her dad's a real sweet guy so I was like all right I'm in good shape it was totally misleading no but it was fine dude I had an ex-girlfriend her dad would always be like hey he would say like whenever nobody was in the room be like Hey listen to me he would pass gas he'd say listen to me fart and then he'd be like don't tell anybody wow and he was real serious about it and it was so strange and I've never even said anything about it until now but I just can't believe he even did that who would yeah that's very strange really weird I think having like somebody dating your daughter oh you don't have any power really no you have no power and you know I and the kid is a pervert whoever he is absolutely he's a boy he's sick he's he's a boy I have a 19 year old and I have a 14 year old daughter and so when my 14 year old when she was 13 uh and she would bring over these guys and I would try and you know like you tried different tactics as a dad you're like I'm gonna be the friend yeah and you want to get to know them and they're all you know they're they're boys they're Liars right and so sick I remember there was this one kid who ended up being really sweet and but I was kind of like I and I'm kind of like inappropriate I try to test the boundaries so I'm like nice to meet you I'd like to um would you like to see my knife collection thinking that would be really intimidating and he's like oh my God I'd love to see a knife I was like that's not what I wanted you to say he was like oh cool you got a knife collection I'm like no I was trying to frighten you yeah I mean it's like but they also know you know you're not gonna hurt them you know what I mean and you can't anymore that's one of the problems too and that's where a lot of you know a lot of fathers have lost a lot of their power they used to have the ability to her to fire a warning shot into the air yeah um and a lot of that's gone yeah I was thinking about yeah it's so like even like us what we think about ourselves how we look like I mean I think a lot of comedians probably got a lot of males got into it because they felt it was their way of gaining attraction from women did you think so you think yeah I think so too totally I remember I remember witnessing um like I had no confidence at all until my 30s anyway but I remember I mean I had it in fits and spurts but I remember when I started headlining at a comedy club and I would stand in the back watching this is like they didn't have green rooms or anything like that and I would stand in the back kind of watching and I would see people come in and um there would be you know attractive women coming in with their friends or dates or whatever and they would be like uh who are you know they they didn't know who I was they didn't care and then I would do the show and then those same women would be treating me completely differently and intellectually I would know oh it was the show they you know they you know they they think I'm something that I'm not they think that I'm something special I have to make a point of never believing the hype and then after six months I was like you know what I'm good looking I kind of totally bought the hype yeah like so we just get we're so dumb we're so dumb it's like it's it's not that I'm on stage and commanding authority over a crowded room of 300 people it's because they actually think I'm good essentially I'm just a fool you know what I mean but then some guys who are not attractive men will their confidence gets them too attractive absolutely so it's really part of the trick I think yeah I even feel like when you look at remember when you would I don't know if you'd ever look at a yearbook and uh or photos of when you were a kid and you'd see a kid that you'd be a girl you'd be like oh my God she was really good looking yeah and why weren't we why didn't we think because we didn't because she was struggling you know what I mean and didn't have the confidence and whereas there were girls that were confident that we were just like because we were dumb boys we're like duh they think they're good looking maybe they're good looking yeah and we would it's so much of it is confidence and it's like I just wish as a parent I could just I you know because my kids are pretty confident but I just wish that like in those moments because I remember being a teenager it's it's hard yeah huh and people are like just act confident you're like what are you talking about yeah I'm filled with anxiety yeah and I had so dude I remember having acne so bad do you ever have acne oh I was just I mean I was this pale kid and whenever I would talk and so it was just this goofy guy who was pale and like you know there it was I was the palest person anyone had ever seen so it was but that's probably you know contributed to me being a comedian like a dumpling kind of yeah I was like a marshmallow oh you know but a marshmallow that would turn red I was a strawberry flavored marshmallow wow dude yeah well it's it's um what's really interesting is if you think back to like the beginning of before they had mirrors and stuff the only way you knew if you were the way you probably is if somebody told you how attractive you were or how handsome or beautiful you were so that had to be in I bet that's when like connection was a lot stronger too between uh people because imagine if the way you somebody's like you're beautiful and you've never you don't have any real thought of that yourself because you've never seen a reflection yourself and the way it makes you feel you're like wow that feeling is so powerful I feel really connected to this person yeah now it's like well back then I mean just imagine how bad did they smell though but they both smelled bad they both I guess she got used to it right I think not having [ __ ] on your legs was probably like a that means you were ready to go out on the town because I feel like that would be something I'm gonna clean I'ma wash my legs off well that's what all the cologne and the perfume was for is to cover up bad smell the smell of butt yeah you know what I mean God it's always it'd be so much nicer if your butt was a little further away from you right or you could detach it oh yeah but like I mean showering like you ever like been on the road and you're like you have to wear the same underwear for two days yeah like it's a crisis and then like and they get warmer but but when you're a teenager you don't care you don't care at all and but like as an adult it's also just like the Comfort level like I used to be able to sleep on like a bag of rocks and now if I'm like if I don't have this one pillow in my arms then the baby can't sleep it's so ridiculous yeah man yeah get to know getting older is interesting what we thought we looked like when we're younger is interesting and being it's amazing how much you can trans pose or share with your children but how many things you cannot share it's amazing how many like lessons that we all go through but we can't there's no real clean clear way to share that to a kid so they don't have to deal with the tragedies of it yeah I mean I uh they have to there's so many times when I'm talking to my kids where I'm like I don't even know why I'm saying this because it's like you're not gonna hear it from me yeah you're gonna have to go through it it's like even when you're you know like like kids driving like I'm sure when you were driving there was moments where you're like holy cow I almost ran over that guy yeah do you know what I mean and it's not like your parents hadn't said you know you got to make sure you look but you don't hear that it's just it's just White Noise yeah your parents are just yeah your parents are creepy people you can't even believe they made they had sex before yeah it's just gross to think it's really rude how gross you think your parents having sex is considering it's how you happen you're like oh it I guess I wonder if that's a a factor in self-esteem like if people with really high self-esteem are like you know the idea of my parents making love is a beautiful thing because it's just like even your parents kissing it was like oh oh it's horrible I remember if my ma if my dad tried to kiss my mom my mom would [ __ ] kind of threaten him with the cake cutter that's good that's good um she was a cake cutter why like was there always cake like did you have dessert growing up no we'd had on birthdays we had cake yeah and that's when they would have some champagne together and my dad would inch over and try to get a kiss on her and she would raise that [ __ ] cake cutter the one that had the prongs it was like oh yeah it had the handle and then the like that and then a bunch of straight prongs it looked like a comb almost it was kind of like a server and uh yes a cutter it was a multi-purpose yeah thing oh wow that thing would take yeah what is that that was for the cake is that like a is that kind of like a Cajun thing because we didn't have cake Cutters like that what's all the like the fingers going down I think you could probably play a song I mean who knew I don't know I could have had a xylophone Tendencies I don't know what some of the backstory of it was yeah that harp what happened to that harp that harp was everywhere no the the doing doing oh yeah what happened to that harp I don't know yeah what was that thing what happened to Snuff dude what happened to a cute old lady in church taking a freaking hit of that tobacco powder to the Dome you know like the chewing tobacco thing I did that did you do that I never did it yeah I was a that was a big thing I remember what snuff did you do I did the Copenhagen I mean the powder you would oh no but I've tried that God I tried that so like that's just sniffing tobacco yeah that's gotta make a comeback I would think that would right because that's probably a pretty interesting High but I would think it's really nice for you what if we got nicotine in our brain cavity because yeah Ricky ain't doing well he's got uh he's got so snuff oh see I thought that that was that's the same container as chewing tobacco right that's long cut now that's an actual cut that you put into your lips snuff is more there's dry snuff right there if you click on that one one down yeah one down right there yeah there's dry snuff in that one if you zoom in on that Zach and you can see that uh with that that's just a beautiful dust right there the snuff it's interesting because that like so Copenhagen Kodiak all that stuff right I remember when they introduced uh the pouches or maybe the pouches were all always there and I never knew about them yeah but you know those were all started in Scandinavia because it was cold outside and it was windy so they had to how they consumed uh tobacco was kind of chewing on it as opposed to where you know they could light it right easier if it was warmer out you know what I mean man people will find a way to get tobacco they need it huh right a little nicotine buzz it just keeps you going like it's all your ore it'll make you go to the bathroom to make you stay awake if you're driving it'll kind of just get you through things you need to do I mean my parents smoked constantly yeah constantly and I mean they all I mean they died when they were 10 but like they no but they they smoked constantly and now no one really smokes oh smoking's crazy like it's it's pretty rare to see someone smoke like someone like I remember when they outlawed smoking in bars in New York City I was like well that's not gonna work and now the craziest thing would be like seeing uh someone Smoke on the subway you're like not only are they breaking the rules but like they're smoking like that's just but now kids do the The Vaping actually worse for you right but it's fun and it tastes good and you can have all the flavors and it's like you can have all the different flavors you want um but kids lungs are getting decimated because when you vape you're inhaling oil as opposed to like cigarette you were just inherent inhaling smoke so but it's brutal because it's it is so fun and it's portable right it's portable you can do it inside you can do it outside you see people in Planes secretly taking a hit yeah you know getting gassed up you see all types of of people doing it um I worked on a movie and this girl was hammering yeah just constantly I mean she was probably nervous but like um it makes you more nervous it does oh it increases your anxiety if you have no anxiety you hit that thing two hits all of a sudden you're anxious you're scared you're calling somebody you'll text the cops hey what's up you it creates anxiety do you do you vape I have been a vapor I'll be honest I have been a vapor I have Vaped and so but like it's addictive right you can't really get rid of it it's the most addictive thing ever but you seem like you kind of like were you always I mean vaping hasn't always been around but like when vaping came out you're like this is my joint no I thought it was kind of I thought it was something for that gay men did honestly at first oh really I thought it was but I was the same way about the iPhone I was like nobody's gonna you know that's so funny this is I was the same thing about twins when I saw twins for the first time I was like this isn't I remember in a sticker I remember when email addresses like I had my email address this is back when it was AOL and it was my name and I remember a friend of mine making fun of me like you have your name and your email address I mean this is going back and I was like yeah so that way I can just tell people and they're like okay like what are you your own business it was such and like I remember Greg Giraldo making fun of me for having my website Jim gaffigan.com he's like why do you have a website and I was like well I think everyone's is probably gonna have a website and he's like no according to him he overdosed no well of course eventually he got a a website that's what I mean but it was just like it was one of those things it was and he was a great guy and but it was and uh but it was just it was just seen as a little bit like unnecessary right like you're being a bit much here yeah you know like if you know like commercials they used to like when they at the end they'd be like you know visit nabisco.com yeah by the way I'm getting paid by Nabisco no I'm not but uh but yeah it's crazy to think first of all that anybody's ever gonna go to nabisco.com right yeah it's like I'm bored I'm gonna go to Nabisco see what those Keebler elves are doing yeah yeah I see some BTS of the elves dude right yeah they're all on spring break right it's a smooth sack summer people want to Brand us up their balls and get them nice that's what they want and the leaders in below the waist grooming are making sure we all have a ball this summer by giving our pants Partners everything they need to stay fresh dive head first in a smooth sack Summer by going to manscape.com for 20 off and free shipping with our code Theo the manscape performance package 4.0 has everything you need to de-hair that body and get your body well get your ball bag trimmed up get your ears you face God trim your belly Boy Get Well homie their lawnmower 4.0 trimmer features a Cutting Edge ceramic blade to reduce grooming accidents thanks to their advanced skin safe technology get 20 off and free shipping with code Theo at manscape.com that's 20 off and free shipping with the code Theo at manscape.com it's smooth Sac summer boys get on board or get left behind um what was yeah what was Greg geralda like did you ever get to spend time with him oh yeah I started I started with him oh really I met him at uh uh cold Waters there was an open mic there that you had to pay and uh I think you had to pay like five dollars and you'd go up and he and I both showed up I had uh and we were both wearing suits we had a coat and tie on he was a lawyer he was a real lawyer he was he went to Harvard Law oh my gosh yeah he he went to Columbia on a scholarship and I think he went to Harvard Law in a scholarship oh wow and he was working for the best law firm and or one of the great ones in New York City and um and you know like yeah so we were it was um I can't remember but it was just because this was probably 92 93. and it was you know add those open my like stand up is much more middle class now but back then it was it was a lot of people that should just be in therapy yeah you know it was a lot of people that I used to do those open mics and then but poetry opened mics there were poetry open mics and you didn't have to pay for those and those were just even more mentally ill people oh yeah um just uh but I love those people like there was the Bowery Poetry Club there was just these really uh surf reality just these characters just these uh your New York characters that were and just you know like you weren't sure if they were homeless or if they were just kind of but there were the you know there were some a real uh real charactery people that were oh yeah you'd have somebody with a fern built into the side of their head or you'd have like yeah yes somebody who's somebody would just go up and they would just pour blood on themselves yeah you'd have someone with a pH balance of like 11 000 go up there you know you would have I mean I they would have I and then then poetry was like it was almost like it was too soft so it went the other way of a Slam Poet yeah where you'd have somebody just like throw a javelin throw a white guy up there for you know two minutes or so it was it was just and then occasionally somebody would like re so people would read their own because there was slam poetry right are you not hear my wings and they would just [ __ ] bee had a white guy here and then they would just be like people would read excerpts from their novel oh yeah and people would be like and they pass a gun around at the same time that was the crazy part that was the craziest thing dude it's like I don't think we need this gun going around what uh so like the Russian Roulette would you ever do that oh I think on an a chamber I would I wouldn't go on six though really do they make an eight chamber uh pistol I'm sure they probably do like do you own do you have a gun and a drawer in your residence right now yes is it in a safe or is it just kind of next to your nightstand it is accessible I would say without a safe so if your girlfriend gets mouthy you can take it out I could set it out next to the silverware okay I could certainly set it next to the butter dish she just she comes home and you're just waving it where were you and she's like I was just out with some friends uh-huh how crazy must the past have been uh I I followed you on your Apple device you weren't with your friends yeah you were at Dave and Buster's huh Dave and Buster's and you know I got tokens yeah who's Dave and Buster you're my quizzer who are you [ __ ] Dave or buster you're out there with these mothers these two men who's Dave and Buster you know is there food better than mine yeah tell me the truth um would you do you think you'd ever murder someone in a fit of rage yeah you would right what about you oh yeah I think I probably could I mean not that I haven't already no but I would um I don't know what would you do with the body though that's the thing would you tell on yourself or would you take a few minutes to decide if you want to tell yourself I would I wouldn't tell on myself yeah um that's interesting you know because like people you know when someone murders someone there's always kind of like people are like and then they lied about it afterwards yeah you know I mean he killed his wife and then he concocted this big but of course there what are they supposed to do and be like I am a man of Honor dear I mean it's like of course they're gonna sit there and go and try and get out of it you know what I mean they're like oh you know what I'll take 50 years in jail I mean it's uh but it is like the um yeah there's there's killing someone and then there's murder though right right I think there's a way to kill somebody probably humanely yeah a little more humanely than murder there has to be some middle ground in there like did you know of anyone that got murdered in your town um I have a I have a buddy who uh has killed somebody yeah and was he caught or did you just kind of out him he uh was not caught he was not caught nope and is it one of those things where he you guys were having some beers and he just started crying I I killed Angela or or or did he tell you he's like I killed Bob no we were yeah it was one time we were doing drugs yeah you said it and I just knew that he had done it wow because I've had people all the time were like I killed somebody and you're like [ __ ] you you know you haven't you know wow and they're like you're right I haven't dude and what was the reason for them killing them um I want to say it was like domestic dispute really and it was gay men wow wow but I think there's a lot of domestic disputes and I think the tough thing about killing somebody right is how do you say you kill somebody that say if you asked 900 people yeah 99 and they're like yeah you can kill Ernie right you can kill Ernie so you do it but how do you then how do you hide that body how do you yeah and where do you do it and then how I would feel honestly like I owed something to their family so I would have to go and live next door to the family and be helpful to them or something for the rest of my life I feel like without you know and I'd be like oh damn I sure miss Ernie you know yeah and say you know it'd be [ __ ] up but I would have to but they would eventually forgive you and they'd be like oh you know no but they didn't know you did you'd make love to Ernie's wife what if that happened is Ernie married I think he is and I think yeah at that point you get in you assume the whole role of the family and you just take over and maybe you rebuild his life back to a level he could have never built it to and you changed her name to Ernie well what about like getting rid of a body like you ever notice that like you know like I don't I Garden I like gardening I know it's it's I don't want to brag but I Garden yeah but I um like getting like digging a hole like you know some soil is easy to move but some like you know if it's Clay if you're trying to get rid of a body and Clay you're an idiot you're okay no but like you're like digging and you're like you know what it's not gonna be six then you're just like you're like pile of leaves yeah like you can't go deep enough it's just like if it's really rocky soil you're like these rocks I keep running into rocks yeah I don't think this grave isn't going to be a sedan it's going to be more of a two-seater you know we're gonna go just like this will be uh just a hatchback it's great yeah and then the gracious a foot and a half you're like all right I'm just gonna chop off the head I'm gonna bury the head here you have to bury the other's head to the side and then you go to the store and you're like I'm gonna buy all those chemicals where you kind of like Dexter melted bodies and you're by the chemicals and you're like you throw the body in there and it doesn't work and you're like [ __ ] and then you look and you're like oh this this chemical is not right so then you gotta dump out the box when you take the body and you throw it in a dumpster and you're like and then you're about to fall asleep and you're like ah you know what that dumpster they're gonna find that doctor because you see a guy walking in the background and kind of like what are you doing you're like I'm not dumping a body right that could happen oh it would be it would be so hard except some people get the hang of it and I think once you unlock that code of how to get rid of a body it's got to be right I mean yeah it has to be like uh when you like Club 54 or whatever I mean you're just having a blast then yeah it's just getting rid of people so people get that's how they get off though right yeah I think a lot of people there's a lot of killers out there and women like the shows I mean that's one of the problems you've seen with Society is during covid-19 all the Dateline episodes got watched up right yeah people watched every murder episode these channels started repackaging the same murders people like no no no I know this is I've seen this murder you're just trying to trip you know it's really sad also then they started encouraging people they're like we need some content oh they have to and and Netflix started paying people to murder people would you be surprised though no if they were like uh there was like a list all right so I gotta date her for two weeks then I have to be angry wait a minute I'm supposed to be on meth so it's like all these variables to make a complex interesting Dateline that you'd have to you'd have to do all that but like it would be worth it because yeah you'd get paid great well I think I could see I could totally see if we get into a Circle where networks which or some of these big businesses are paying especially networks are paying yeah I'll pay a hundred thousand dollars for some guy right you don't want a killing spree a low-key through some other channel so no it never faces back to me I get to make a documentary about it that documentary is going to make me five hundred thousand dollars so why wouldn't I just keep doing that right by the way there is a uh a movie called man bites dog which is great I think it's I don't know what language it's in but before I had kids and before I was married I used to watch all these indie films and it's amazing and it's about this documentary Crew That's following uh this serial killer and then they start joining in like it's just how it's kind of contagious yeah and how it's it's you know like so like that they they're like partying with the the serial killer and then eventually they get wasted and then it's really dark but um it was kind of funny yeah anyway what could see you I think you get kind of accustomed to anything you know I'm a rusty with a friend one time they were playing volleyball every day in the first day I was like I don't want to play any volleyball I don't like it the second day I got out there and the third day I was the first person on the court and then and before you know it you're Gabrielle Reece yeah this is your volleyball player I think yeah Gabby Reese Gabby Reese yeah she married Laird Hamilton didn't she really yeah I thought we'll find we should find out I thought she was married to uh yeah no she's married to somebody else is she married who's she married I think it's layered Laird I think her husband is layered oh all right who's married to uh Richard Marx I guess she's not a good marks because Gabriel Reese she was on MTV too right I don't know if she was Richard Marx I don't know who Richard Marx he's married to somebody she was a volleyball player right Richard Marx is married to who is his wife Daisy Fuentes Daisy Fuentes remember she was hot dude Richard Marx is not that old no I didn't know who he was but he he looks like um Chris Isaac he wrote all the you don't even know who he is do you see you're too young the Marx Brothers I've heard of no he wrote a bunch of songs and then he wrote all these songs for like the Backstreet Boys or something like that God that'd be nice you have another skill man I mean you're I saw your movie probably since we've last talked I saw your movie I think I even sent you a message about it um the one where you're the driver oh yeah yeah really cool oh thanks yeah that was fun I love acting it's so fun oh thanks well it's fun how much was it how much did it cost to make that they did that I'm not they I know they did it for maybe 250. wow and did a great job for that oh thanks and it was when we were shooting that there's a car explosion and we shot that in like I don't know 12 days wow and when the car explosion kind of happened we had to shoot other things and we kind of tried to get the car out and and I remember us driving to the other location the car was kind of still on fire it was fire truck I mean it wasn't believe me it wasn't one of those things where we uh caused any damage to anything but it was I mean it was this guy who was this great director um and uh Derek board and he uh but he had he he lives in Virginia Beach and he had a buddy who had a car dealership and he's like can I have two of the same cars because we needed two cars so anyway but I remember there was a car that was on fire and and we were and I was like are we leaving that year and they're like it's fine it's fine because we had to shoot we had to get done with this shoot dude it's America's change you can leave a burning car anywhere now I feel like yeah well there's parts of uh but I think it's it uh there's parts of Virginia not Virginia Beach that's very nice but like Norfolk and norfolk's nice but there's Parts I was like whoa it's a little yeah he's a little dangerous yeah well there's some big cities they've gotten even like like Minneapolis is like deserted I feel like you know yeah it's sad when I go there I'm like like they drew all kind of murals like there's more drawings of people in Minneapolis than there are people anymore it's I mean I love Minneapolis too yeah you take your special there I think we're taking the same time down the street yeah and we couldn't we couldn't see each other we couldn't see each other because of the uh covid coveted restrictions Netflix didn't allow anyone in to uh uh the this I mean this was also this and I have a new one now right that's what yeah uh you have a new one coming out it's your tenth one I know right crazy that's unreal yeah I mean but it is it's it's uh it's you know it's all self-assignment right and so what do you mean by that when you say that well it's like you know when you did your last special you're like I'm gonna do this special and you kind of set your mind to it and you do it but like the the I think the craziest thing is like when I did my first special it was the expectation was that people would maybe do one or two or maybe you know like Carlin did a bunch but it was not what it is now which is where and it might it might change where people every couple years put out a special I don't think and that might change but like you know I mean here we are in this on a podcast I mean that this didn't exist in its present form five years ago yeah do you know what I mean yeah where it's like people consume like there's pressure for you to do episodes because people you know you know they they're kind of like all right I need another hit right yeah it's really kind of scary I think sometimes you're like you've become a dealer in a way you know yeah I mean you become an Entertainer and you look forward to having to chat with people um you also start to realize that people in our business and and in different businesses are so busy that sometimes this is the realest chat you're going to get with them yeah you know and I started to realize that recently like I went um where'd that go I went to do a podcast and I was like man and my friend was he's just a busy guy and I was like man this is I wish I'd utilize that time a little bit more with him just to really be like oh this is our time to connect it's just that's how you know if you spend a couple hours with somebody that's a lot of time so yeah it's it is I'm jealous of I mean I don't wanna I'm not gonna start my own podcast but I am jealous of because you know comedians you know you get some success you never get to hang out with people you know I mean the more successful you are the more you and if you have other aspects of your life you're not gonna get the quality one-on-one time that you would normally get and just for comedians this is kind of our oxygen is yeah it's a good point yeah I think it probably used to be different you guys would hang out together more was there more than I think all of that happens too when you're coming up as well yeah and I think there was also just there was you know there wasn't the touring and doing theaters and which is great and I love but it was or you know if you were doing comedy clubs there was you know three or four people and you'd be there for multiple nights and you knew some of the wait staff and there was uh you know you had more of uh uh there was more of a communal experience but it's all shifting constantly and that's that's true too it changes constantly and it's scary to know if the next shift if you will apply to it right that feels very scary a lot of times if the next curve if you will have if whatever you're doing will have an ability to kind of like uh flourish in that space But I think that you know I mean we talked a little bit about this beforehand before we even saw I think authenticity is what people crave yeah and so there are things that are shiny and trendy and fancy but I think that if it's authenticity and it kind of kind of just to the times it's kind of Timeless right yeah I think you know yeah I think you want yeah yeah I mean it's like there's always going to be people that have that come from uh similar backgrounds to that we have yeah not that I know anything about you but you're a man yeah I mean it's like there's you know but I don't know I think that you know comedians we are that's kind of a litmus test among our peers is to to retain that authentic that's not to say that there isn't some fun and there isn't some pretending and there isn't oh yeah you know exaggeration but you know it's also like I think when comedians buy their own hype even when you know even you know like when we were joking around even like when comedians think they are good looking that's kind of the kiss of death right when they're like well I am I am a philosopher it's like well T you know you have to be self-aware yeah it's scary it's kind of scary because also people are you start people start telling you stuff and you have to be careful not really to believe them you have to just kind of know what your lane is you have to stay out of your ego the ego is really scary it is scary the ego is really really scary especially I think for guys who came from low self-worth and then here's this false sense of self-worth right or the or here's this inflated it's like this um it's like clothing it's like this clothing it's like oh look at me look at what you can do but the inside of you it doesn't really uh it's it's not the reality so yeah man that's been the scare that's been something scary for me is like be trying not to hear certain things or just trying to keep my ego at Bay I think it's ego but I think it's also getting for me it's getting caught up in other people's expectations which is it's not like a problem that you solve once it's it's uh uh you know like the fact that your podcast is independent which is not good or bad right or wrong or anything like that is like the expectation of of where what you're supposed to do with things is usually and it's changing but like I guess what I'm saying is like the fact that Rogan you know everyone was like oh you're supposed to do this you're supposed to start your own podcast company he kind of didn't get caught up in that and then ended up doing that Spotify deal and it's and and I think comedians have a tendency to kind of go their own path but for me when I sit there and I go oh I should uh I should do this that's what everyone else is doing that's when I really mess up or it's like oh that there's a that's a nice dollar sign right you know my Asian said that's good money and that's that's when you get in trouble yeah is other people's expectations rather than anyway no no that's a great Point what do you think what do you think is how do we how do we how do we kind of or what things come into play there when we're trying to figure that out because I'll have things like that that come across and it's like hey man you know this looks great this is so many thousands of dollars I'm like damn that looks great that yeah but then it's like trying to know what trust whatever your instinct is you know or know what your instinct is that's really hard sometimes right to know like is this an instinct or is this a fear is this like an instinct telling me yes or is that my ego telling me yes like right it starts to get weird to [ __ ] figure those like who's like who's at the front pointing at that moment you know what part of you I think it's it's like you know it's you know I think the ego is very impulsive right so it's like maybe taking time and you know it sounds corny the pros and the cons that helps a lot you know I mean and also you know you've got this successful podcast but like also you have friends and you can and you know uh it's just kind of like you know like your unique uh Sensibility is is not something that someone could tell you how to come up with you know I mean it's like that was on you but I think I think input from uh and but I think also tempered you know I mean like it's like kind of take all the advice and cut it in half like even when people like badmouth someone I usually typically cut it in half and so that's why like if I really hate someone I'm like I already cut it in half of my age I'm like all right that's the bad [ __ ] you did what um when you and Geraldo were coming up did he start off doing better than you you guys were both doing well at the same time was there competition there like what kind of uh that's so crazy he was so smart huh oh he was super smart and he was also you know everyone liked him yeah and he would help me get in to because he grew up in Queens he would help me get into clubs on Long Island I was like this white bread guy you know and like on Long Island they're like who's this dork yeah man yeah and so uh he but he would help me but yeah no he had a lot of success and I was jealous and I told him that I was jealous and uh but you know it's weird because you know it's not just about the uh the success I think it's like how we all process the failures like I almost feel like the advantage I had was that I had failed in a lot of things whereas like people that were really successful in everything they didn't have kind of the appetite for it you know like or the aptitude even for failure you have to have some [ __ ] yeah and you know like some people that are allergic to Cilantro they just it they're like it tastes like soap it's like and so like failure you have to have to have uh uh you know you know it's like be tempered by it a little yeah you have to like you have to have the calluses to deal with some of it if that makes sense no I think it makes a ton of sense man um that's fascinating I wish I knew more about him I always hear neat things about him yeah um his son's doing stand-ups really yeah I don't know if I'm supposed to have that but no good for him yeah that's exciting man I always wonder what it feels like uh I wonder if somebody's so like imagine having a father that was extremely famous right yeah like say your father was I'm trying to think of somebody who's really really famous um who can we think of Pierce Brosnan or yeah Carol O'Connor or who else has a kid well you know like um at the Quade oh that Quaid family very interesting yeah I want to interview the uh brother to Randy yeah I mean well yeah you should totally interview I want to interview Randy Randy if you're out there would love to uh sit down and chat with you sometime man but their son jack yeah because the sun's are extremely talented and an amazing guy I got the interview him years ago and he was Jackie do you live in Nashville yeah and because I did I did this show full circle with Dennis and he lives in Nashville well Jesus oh yeah Dennis lives there yeah but I'm thinking Dennis brother Randy yeah but like they might you know he might go to visit his brother yeah yeah Dennis lives over there I saw I was picturing a magazine yeah yeah Randy yeah that's a serious beer that's a beard that's uh you know that's when your face is like hey I'm gonna live off the grid that's that's kind of like you're not going to tell me what I should do with my beard at all yeah because I'm not even going to be able to hear you that's why because yeah there's some CR there's some really interesting videos of him and his wife right I haven't seen is it like the uh sex stuff no it's just he's because he's uh yeah he's got out there he's got you know um he's pretty strong right wing views yeah is that a safe way to say it I think so and he and his wife it was really interesting because they were on a park bench and they were uh getting ready to drink I think some champagne or something like that no on this video oh in the video but they were I think it was all about you know it was like about Biden and stuff like that yeah I think they'd get pretty political yeah um but I would I mean Randy is an iconic character you know his cousin Eddie character was iconic yeah kind of that wild how that kid I mean that's just and then the sun's a huge star now yeah the sun is maybe a bigger star than even both of them were I mean they're all they've all obviously have a lot of talent in their family um dude what about [Music] um I love dessert don't you like it oh yeah you know what I had yesterday bro baklava dude really God man I didn't even know what what was going on and I had it and I was like wow they really did it good you had it all right yeah no it's great you know what I had yesterday I was on a plane and they uh no it's before the plane I had have you ever had olive oil cake it was amazing really it was amazing but baklava what what where'd you have it I had it from some Mediterraneans you know yeah a couple of uh Mediterraneans brought it by and God it was just so good right puts on it bring up a chunk of baklava dude let me even see it because you know at the end of the night I either want to [ __ ] do something horrible to myself or have some like a sweet dessert yeah it is yes so that's like God look at the layers on that I mean that's almost like something a geologist would cut out of the earth well that's just how many layers of and you know I think similar to croissants it's like yeah each one of those layers gets uh uh a bunch of butter on it oh Greek food is really underrated oh really underrated good I love um yeah some of the pastries they look so gentle you don't even yeah you're like do we eat this yeah it's it's baklava is it's it's it's it's packed with sugar too it's just yeah I think it's like it's really dense I feel like there's different like there's different eras of sugar like you know because like rock candy they used to eat rock candy mother loves it rock candy and then like it was sugar on a little wooden Pole right the chunk of Sugar by the way you ever had straight sugar cane that's great oh you just get it and I think that's not bad for you wow because it's not processed yeah that processing really does a number and it does the number on our bodies too yeah sugarcane that stuff is so sweet it's unreal so you know here's the thing that I thought was so I did this movie Peter Pan where I was uh I played a pirate so I kind of went down a rabbit hole learning about Pirates and so when sugar became this big thing that's where so like sugar people started putting sugar in their tea and their coffee and they put sugar in everything people love sugar and it destroyed people's teeth and so like prior to that people's teeth were fine but like once sugar happened it devastated people's uh teeth here's another interesting thing that I thought was really wild is that like the coffee break was created so that people would drink coffee because when people drink coffee they're more efficient at work so they wanted people to drink coffee you know I don't know if you drink coffee at all yeah I like having but like it's like you can kind of focus and you can kind of I mean it also keeps you regular but like you can focus so like they wanted people to drink coffee yeah I mean some people said there were women that would get rid of if they if they didn't have coffee they would get rid of their children they couldn't handle it you know they need it's part of their day you know it's people it's a staple in American dayhood and my daughter who's 14 I think all my kids love it but like they love Starbucks they love Starbucks like how I loved McDonald's or Wendy's they're all about the cake pop they're all about that sugary you know those shakes they're essentially just shakes that they're getting but it's a social atmosphere going to Starbucks yeah it's a thing it's a it's a rite of passage it's like now you're part of your day you know yeah it's like the morning paper almost yes it's fancy it's kind of um adult pretending yes that's very true I'm here to get my they have your name written down yeah it's like yeah I'm here for my coffee that I reserved kids love it they love it and those cake pops are just it's just a rip-off it's just a DOT of a cookie oh it's nothing I can't believe that that's anything bring that up that cake pop right and it's just [ __ ] and It's gotta be as a bigger you know a bigger guy sees you eating that he's like what do you [ __ ] what do you do right you're doing huh who do you love you know what's amazing is did you know that there's cake pops they grow them on trees isn't that weird oh yeah there's different trees there's like strawberry cake trees in there and it's just the way that they do it yeah they just grow like that dude they do add the sprinkles later those aren't natural well you know what will drive you did you know sugar most of our sugar comes from beets what yeah look up Nampa Nampa oh Idaho by the way by the way beets be at Nampa dude beets are very underrated vegetable and they're making a comeback radishes are making a comeback radishes are making aren't they ready they are by the way I grow radishes and my garden takes like 20 days easiest thing to grow so easy easiest thing to grow and you can never decide if they taste good or not but you right it's because and you put I put them in a salad and my kids are like ow did you put jalapenos in here I'm like those are radishes because my kids are that white they're white they're white out of yes dude that's hilarious what do we have there we have Nampa sugar let's look at them I'm going to be honest with you here a lot of our sugar in America comes from beets and that's over in that's insane yeah I guess there is a big company called Amalgamated sugars that's based in Nampa and the Nampa Factory process is 12 000 tons of sugar beets sorry that's what they are and granulates 1 000 tons of sugar per day wow that's a lot in addition to processing sugar beets into sugar and molasses the Nampa Factor produces animal feed products such as pulp and betaine so women I'm kind of what does a sugar beet mean I'm not sure is that like a sugar stalk sugar cane is that another thing there you go yeah sugarcane's different that's it oh my God I never knew that let's look at it I never knew wait a minute I know I always thought I thought sugarcane was where all sugar came from brother we all do I thought it was I thought it was you know from uh Cuba and Puerto Rico yeah homie we got the sucker you know what I mean yeah huh and that's why there's Bacardi there and can we look at Sugar Beets the Wiki of it or something swimmer and Nampa Viet Nampa as they call it because I think there's a lot of issues out there a sugar beet is a plant who's not whose root contains a high concentration of sucrose and which is grown commercially for sugar production yep oh my gosh sugar beets are grown in climates that are too cold for sugar cane oh that's interesting in Russia 20 in 2020 Russia the United States Germany France and Turkey were the world's five largest sugar beet producers I mean if you ever occasionally just hear about an animal that's never and you I was working on this movie and this woman was like because uh we have a place and I thank you in in uh Upstate New York and she's like oh yeah there's a lot of uh blah blah like she was like uh some type of cat and I was like what's that and she's like you've never heard of that it's like I like it was just it's some kind of common wild you know and you didn't know it existed I didn't know it existed blows your mind right yeah you're like how could I miss out on someone it was she was like it's the equivalent of like a mountain lion I'm like what I'm like yeah like what have I been doing how could I not know that how about the fact that bears used to be everywhere bears were everywhere bears and wolves were everywhere oh I would be imagine you're like hey I'm gonna go take a walk and people are like I don't know if I would right yeah and you're like [ __ ] you I will and then you die yeah well I think in China people used to get eaten by tigers all the time yeah I think in in trying it in India if you would just get eaten by a tiger oh I would hate that and well imagine if they start eating you you know you can't get away what do you do then while it's eating you like say it's got your leg going down it right and the pain is subside the pain your your adrenaline will take over yeah so you're just feeling you're just horrified you wouldn't even have like a weapon you'd have a knife on you right and you'd just be like if I'm going down you're going down with me right what if you don't have that you just pet it you think I think I'll try to put it to sleep if it falls asleep you need to pet it and just be like oh like maybe underneath the belly and they're like oh right [Music] hush little baby remember nursery rhymes people would always sing those to babies and now people are like shut the [ __ ] up kid yeah yeah nursery rhymes hush a lot of them are really kind of dark right like a ring around the rosie that's about like the plague and I think uh um was it ring around the Bros about the plague I think it was it's crazy were your um who took care of you when you were a kid I was I live by myself no I um I was um the youngest of six kids I mean I kind of it was definitely you are the there was nothing left in the parental tank for you probably no not that's interesting because some people usually say oh you were spoiled but like there was there was a burnout effect yeah number four was spoiled dude you were yeah and there was just uh you know so like there were highly suspicious of everything I had done um yeah but it was also there was I think it was an ERA where kids were kind of you know there would be like get out of the house see it at eight you're a man or see at dinner but during the summer like we would we would camp out like I can't imagine my kids just camping out but we used to do that we used to just you know all right we're gonna build a fire and he'd just wake up at three in the morning freezing yeah you'd run home covered in bug bites you're like why'd we do that and then two weeks later you're like should we do that again yeah right you said you lived in up uh in Upstate New York does Louis do you live by Louie I don't know I know I don't think so I think he lives up there somewhere yeah I'm in like Westchester oh sweet I don't know where that is but so yeah so how many people how many episodes of your podcast have you had 450 I think wow 452 452. and this is our last episode in this studio actually is it now if I did so I was on a in 2000 18 19 was it here no it was at a different Studio that was closer by uh towards the airport and so how do you do you do you set up did you design this or did someone else no let me think a lot of like listeners and stuff have sent things in that were really cool they just put your Brody Steve in somebody sent a lot of neat things we have a deck a whole deck of cards that somebody drew all these faces on different cards from all of our guests wow there's one of you in here too somebody made but somebody made um individual cards oh that's amazing this is this is truly amazing somebody did all those um so and then yeah I think uh yeah we just kind of put it together I don't know if we've always had the best design aesthetic but what was the most awkward was there one where you're like this feels like work or was there one where an episode person's wasted oh Jesse Ventura oh really the Baja yeah down in the Baja now were you down there when you did it or and I'll tell you why you want to know why I'm not good at it but and he um so he was the governor of Minnesota yeah dude he's the governor but he's he's now he's kind of do you think he's got CTE oh I think he's the mayor of dementia now oh and was he was there hostility not a chance he's like I'm gonna leave in 30 minutes let me tell you something for two and a half hours and he just talked the whole time I thought yeah you know I shouldn't rip him so much it was just it got to be insufferable kind of and was was what was your connection was he promoting a book was he was he uh he was in like a motorcycle gang or something but I was just I think I was just excited to talk to him you know and just intrigued by him he had a unique life you know to get to go to to be a professional wrestler to be a um he was an aqua marine I'm not sure what it's called Uh seal yeah he was a Navy SEAL but it was they do a lot of the they go in first and like we'll set like a like check out the premises before [Music] uh maybe the Marines come and land I can't remember what the group is called but yeah a lot of underwater so it's like underwater Uber Ubud did he play in the NFL I feel like he played me you know maybe Justin I don't remember if he did but um yeah so that was just kind of a tough one you know and then I think on different days some of them are different some days I wish I knew more when I was talking to people and some days I wish that I was in like a better energy or attitude you know um has it been hard being a parent and being like a famous person has that been kind of tricky it is weird um because you know you don't really think of yourself as you know having any level of Fame right there's moments where you're like oh this is sweet I get to yeah get a restaurant uh I can go in a restaurant and uh but um so there is moments where um uh I you know like my my my uh son at one point when I was picking him up from like soccer camp or something was like yeah my uh the coach was kind of uh a jerk saying oh yeah the funny guy you know funny guy's kid you know I mean so like that's weird but um yeah I mean I don't know it's it's strange because there is uh you know the you know it's weird because like my dad was a small town Banker so I didn't there's nothing to prepare you for it you know I mean so yeah totally and how could you know how to prepare for it yeah and especially it doesn't see it a lot of times you don't feel like you're popular you don't feel it's like you walk around thinking oh I'm up it's like you're just kind of living your life and then there's this other realm that's kind of going on that flares up every now and then when you're in certain instances yeah and or like if you're you know if we're eating dinner with uh you know not though we eat out really that often but like if we're eating out and someone's like comes up that's weird yeah do you know what I mean and it's like I don't mind it if I'm alone or if I'm after a show and I'm in a restaurant but if I'm with my family it's a little weird yeah because you have to take a break from that moment and then step out and then it's like the center of attention is you you have to act like I'm nice in front of my kids and I don't like my kids seeing me be kind yeah I always wonder what the law like what the effects of that are like what are the residual effects that that you don't even realize or that any popular parent doesn't even realize you know that a kid then how it affects their life and then sometimes I was thinking like imagine if your dad was like extremely famous your dad was like Napoleon Bonaparte or yeah um if your dad was like uh Michael Jordan you know how would you ever make your dad feel like he means as much to you as he does to like just some stranger on you know I wonder if there would always be some weird Hang-Ups you know if you were that level of popularity you have to be really interesting yeah I think Napoleon's son even became I think he ruled France too oh really yeah I think that like there was I mean I think I don't know I want to see that Napoleon Movie coming out is there a new one yeah did you see Mel Gibson's new movie yet which one's that it's a documentary it's called the sound of Freedom oh where that's a documentary that's Jim Caviezel right um it's it's called the sound of Freedom it's uh the incredible story of a former government agent turned vigilante who embarks On A Dangerous Mission to rescue hundreds of children from sex trafficking yeah that's Jim Caviezel right so yeah yeah I need to go see this is that Mira Sorvino oh uh and Bill camp oh wow yeah I think that's like the number one movie that's wild I gotta pee you do yeah I always have to pee I had to pee before I even came in here yeah go pee and we will do another 20 minutes what do you quit smoking no I'm addicted to this you're addicted to nicotine dog yeah oh my God bro yeah why not yeah you're right oh if they had cocaine the gum laughs I'm sure they probably have some I'm surprised that's not like at some store oh yeah cocaine gum it's good because you know you'd have a buddy it's not addictive because your children yeah yeah it's not addictive if you cheer for the Mets no it's good it's good for your jawline too you get the Coke and gum that's fine yeah it's cheaper than regular cocaine too oh yeah my cousin he had half of his uh growth yeah that was the thing in the old west was cocaine gum wow [ __ ] yeah dude now that's I would go through it yeah I'd ride off into the heat dude if I was on cocaine gum look how they used to spell it too with no e on that little jar cocaine but you know did you used to party with it some ever with cocaine yeah I've done it but you know yeah me too you know you were like yeah me too oh dude it's right oh you know what I think about it sometimes I think about us meeting up in like a room like and you know like having a eloping I literally think about that like me riding off in a carriage in the night with the eight ball just holding on to me from behind you know the um that's that's one of the influences of having kids is like it kind of removes some of the stupidity stuff from you like you're like wow I can't do that yeah you can't do it anymore well it's like a baby is born and you you look at the baby and your first thought as well and it takes suicide off the table you know I mean it's it's a really dark thing but it kind of is true and you're like and now you're like man I can't do that yeah yeah but here goes gymnastics yeah you're like all right I guess I can't be a hobo anymore do you know what I mean so there is things like that in your life that start to disappear like there's there's like years where you're watching football and you're like yeah one day I'll get back out there and play even if you never played you're like one of these days I'll be back out there you know yeah they'll miss me somebody will call them need a free agent yeah yeah or they'll do a strike and they'll try it they'll need a Long Snapper is there anyone here in the stadium I could do long snapping I did that in high school and then even those ideas start to they don't show up anymore then there's just not a chance well there is like the the Olympic dreams die yeah you're like all right well that's like also when quarterbacks are retiring and they're like 20 years younger than you you're like so Tom Brady's that old he's only 45. you're like oh I guess I guess I am old yeah um yeah you've done a a lot of acting with this with this many specials do you think about slowing it down what do you think do you start to have has your view or your Vantage Point got different um I don't know if anybody has as many specials as you I mean you might be the most prolific well it is uh it is weird I think it's like well with I think we're all kind of reevaluating what we're doing all the time but some of it I think was motivating motivated by when I tour I definitely want the audience to see a new show and then there is such a sense of completion in finishing the hour and then I don't know I feel like with stand up I'm kind of I'm getting better you know like there's all right uh you know I'll be like all right I'm gonna I want to tell some stories all right now I want to talk about uh I don't want to talk about food at all which was like another uh hurdle of mine and then I was like all right I'm gonna talk my wife had a brain tumor I'm going to talk about the brain tumor and then um all right I you know like I could just talk about my kids constantly but I'm like I'm not gonna just because I was like that 26 year old guy sitting in a comedy club hearing people talk about their kids yeah I can't even get a date so um you know I mean so there's the assignment of it but yeah I don't know there is something of uh um because in the weird the weird way we're doing it for ourselves right and so when you get off stage and people are like thank you so much you're like I was just doing that for myself you know it was like I had fun you know it's like you know there was this there used to be this saying like doing colleges you're not paid for the show you're paid because it's so hard to get to them yeah I mean although that's always the worst yeah and so But to answer your question I do feel like I don't know yeah I mean definitely you know taking some time but it is I enjoy it's the creative fulfillment that's yeah that's that's huge well that's a that's and I think I think that people that have podcasts get that'll that buzz uh and you know it's and and I enjoy acting and I get it there but like acting so um it's so erratic on when you can do it so um yeah there's there's definitely like uh I think a fulfillment aspect for people like you get to the end of a of a chapter in your life you don't want it you just you challenge yourself I don't want to talk about this anymore I want to try something new you also feel yourself evolving you know that's something I feel in my own life sometimes now for like some of the first time in probably forever I've started to feel like oh man I'm evolving a little bit I need to I want to start thinking in different patterns and talking about stuff that maybe has more is like more thoughtful to me but then sometimes it's like you don't want to get too crazy and you want to make sure that people are just having fun you know absolutely it's like you don't want to turn into some like you know guy who's just like preaching you know so that can be kind of a tough that can be tough a little bit sometimes to manage and I think comedians we I I think people are always so surprised at how sincere comedians are that's not to say that we're we don't joke around and have fun but like but we have to keep a balance on that sincerity because if we get too sincere then we're just then we might as well just be a preacher yeah yeah I mean then we're like you know the way we should do go you know it's like we might as well just be preaching you know did you see that little kid that Pentecostal kid recently they had a kid who was doing speaking in tongues he was a young preacher now did you growing up did you go to church we would sometimes my dad would take us over there I mean my dad was so old when I was young when I was a child and so he would walk over there to church and he'd fall asleep he'd fall asleep wherever we were yeah and so when I got there I was kind of on my own wherever we went you know my dad was like I'll introduce you to people we go we'd sit down for a second till we could take a break and then he'd be [ __ ] dead asleep so then I would just be kind of like in these places and I had this sleeping father that felt uncomfortable and then I was there and had to kind of like navigate some situations that kind of stuff would happen a lot with my dad and how what kind of church was it was it Presbyterian Presbyterian yeah they had three nice oak trees I remember and uh they tried to do an insurance fire once or twice but it didn't take and and um great breakfast over there though right God nothing will bring you home you know nothing will bring you to the Lord like a dang one of those donuts with pink frosting and uh think of like different churches like you remember like we went to this church uh in Maryland that uh just amazing you go and get pizza oh donuts and you know you're like yeah you just leave a little hungover on Sunday and you're like this is sweet you don't have a little kick from that lemonade you're like this is perfect yeah God knows what I need but yeah church was fun I thought the funnest thing about church was just kids playing and stuff like like a social environment yeah you know and it used to be that was the place you saw anybody they didn't have all this other stuff you had to you know fight off yellow fever all week and dysentery and get everybody's butts clean and everything and then wagging them up to church and that's where you'd see somebody and hope somebody would with a little bit of money would make love to your daughter or you know or you know that's where you know that's where it happened it all happened right there on the you know and you know it's like you know there is something strange about because also I spent my 20s and you know my 30s very much opposed to it and then I married this woman that that is Catholic and I mean I was raised Catholic but kind of just kind of culturally and but there is something about there's a quietness there that you know there's something meditative about it and maybe because it's so boring but it was it's there is something about like all right I'm just standing there with my kids I'm just sitting there with my kids it's it's like the world slows down like I you know you see why people go and why they have a connection to it yeah I love I mean I love Faith you know I have I feel like I have a good faith you know I like being able to close my eyes and and I like to pray twice a day I like to be able to think about God and and and talk and or my God and ask him you know what I can do for others and just things like that or if I need help to offer me some suggestion um I love that kind of stuff and one of the best times I've ever had in my life or best I ever felt was when I felt like I had a really strong connection to a higher power yeah and I'd worked on it a lot and it really came to fruition and even if some people say well that's Voodoo whatever it is doesn't matter it worked it like I it worked as much as it as it it was real as far as I knew and if that's a if that's the truth to me then that's great well it's also you talk about you you had mentioned before ego right like that humility or just a concept of humility is so necessary right to navigate this because if you let the ego take over it's trouble you know what I mean and I know yeah I know that to some people listening that we just sound like we're saying gobbledygook but like it is one of those like when you you know you're somebody that if you you know like I've struggled with my ego and stuff like that it's like the only way you can get that in line is having some humility and like and the premise of religion that or belief system that there's a higher power is is very kind of it's like that's structurally you know literally puts you in a position of of humbleness yeah I mean because you're working with alongside somebody else or for somebody else yeah yeah oh I'm so grateful that there's something else out there that I can believe because yeah I think I like rejected the world so much that I was in growing up that I wasn't gonna take Direction from anybody in it probably you know I hated my environment so much I despised like I mean I despised my [ __ ] environment you know it just I mean it everything about it [ __ ] hurt me I felt like right that's how I felt anyway yeah and so the no one in the war of human probably would I ever really believe in right so you almost need this other this this uh satellite to beam through this other entity to help me get adjusted to trust the world again and so that's why I'm man because for me and everybody can have their own thoughts I don't but for me as long as they're the same as mine I'm fighting with it but for me man I'm so because I wouldn't believe you just said Hey listen to this guy I don't know if I would have done that but you give me a a hype an invisible being right yeah visually invisible you know and it's just and there's just enough malleability in there for me to say okay I'm well I'm willing to try this and then it opens up more of a door for me of like um of connection does that make any sense yes I think also like even saying I I I I think you know the whole agnostic I don't know is that's that's just where you got to be you know I mean it's like it's like I don't you know I think that human beings are so arrogant and the assumption that like every generation has thought that they've had it figured out and every generation has been wrong yeah you know I mean like even you know so it's like if we can't be like we don't know okay then we're really kind of starting from a bad position so yeah dude I don't know how do you think you'd have been like a good like if you go back to those times you go on a date like would you have been like a good settler you think where would you have best done in history where would you have best been yeah gosh I sometimes think about like my immigrant ancestors because you know my I did that Finding Your Roots show I haven't seen it so uh that's where they they kind of they do your own you did that yeah where they take you to the library well no mine was uh uh where they kind of like tracked my mother's side and my father's side and they get to go meet someone at a mall or anything no no I didn't this was uh but like so my grandfather made dentures and I remember thinking oh he made Dentures that's interesting you know like yeah Dental stuff and but what I learned through that show is that my grandfather broke this cycle of working in the coal mine that had existed for Generations and so I think of like my ancestors that came over from Ireland you know and just like that was that was rough and you know like there's an ancestor that was framed for murder oh and how would you even prove you didn't do it back then like you did it well by the way I think because he was uh they uh you know it was kind of theorized that he was a um kind of like there was this anti-immigrant stuff going on and being an Irish or immigrant that he was part of the Molly Maguires and so they framed him and then they kind of he got pardoned by the governor and they don't know you know like they never explained why he was pardoned you know was he pardoned because he was innocent was he pardoned because he was crooked because he was crooked you know and so wow but like yeah so like a different era I feel like I'm so pale that you know like I need sunscreen you know even by a computer huh yeah open in the fridge oh so I uh yeah that's got to be the saddest dude if you're real pale because then if you open the fridge everybody sees you too yeah it's like bigger and pale and so no but like I mean it's not sad it's beautiful but it's like what era would you be in um I don't know the future seems way sketch you know it's just I feel like gonna be people like you drive up to a machine that feeds you and then you come into it yeah it would but it has to be in the past Civil War could have been interesting right and if you would have been like a referee I think yeah I mean Civil War but like people were just so many people were killed like the the equipment uh like the the weapons were so yeah it's like they and it's like you got shot they just chop off your leg you know what I mean yeah they didn't even have to be shot in the legs yeah a lot of their technical skills were way limited it seems yeah dude whereas I think like like if some people even if they had just had like down syndrome they're like oh he got shot by something like no this guy he's fine he's fine he's just over here raking leaves let this guy live Milan um I think there was a lot of stuff like that yeah like but I don't know maybe but then I don't know you're right people smelled so bad I don't know if I would want to be a pilgrim because you're like well we're almost there and everybody's dying and then you get there you have nothing to do there's nobody even waiting when you get there I do think that the south is really fascinating I know you're you know Louisiana oh yeah it is it's because there's a civility there that you know y'all and yes ma'am uh yes sir it's that is so different from the Midwest where I'm from but it's it there's a civility there and an authentic kindness that is kind of unique you know it's kind of this remnants of the British thing with like the sweet tea versus the British drinking tea yeah there's kind of an old traditionalism there yeah that really comes I mean there's also tons of racism oh yeah I mean if you get it it's a real it's a little slave you get into Mississippi it's a little slavy you know but that kindness is fascinating yeah right yeah that's the crazy part about the south it had this like it also it had like two whole different ends of the spectrum you know it was like be a gentleman be polite but if you're black you're not allowed to comment yeah yeah so they had I mean that was just unreal I can't even imagine that people went through all those times it's really crazy to think that as humans where we sit today it's it's like it's pretty unreal and how quickly we [ __ ] got to the place where we're just sitting here you know um masturbating into a phone right well also like the so we look at the bigotry or the bias of the past what biases exist today that are the equivalent to you know women couldn't vote until 1920. you know uh really African-Americans couldn't freely vote until the 60s and so like it's like what what kind of it's not like we're done you know I mean like there's some biases that exist today that we are kind of unaware of we're like what's wrong with that you know what I mean like there's nothing wrong like even like people like I think when I started stand up people used to do [ __ ] jokes and they used to always drive me crazy yeah and um and people don't really do that anymore but like I'm sure I do jokes where people are like in 40 years people are gonna be like that hateful gym gas yeah look at this hate Monger look at this he was like he would talk about beef Jim Crow Jeff again he would talk about meat yeah like they ate meat back then like we're gonna realize like the you know like we're become we'll be all become Hindu and like you know the cows sacred bee excuse can we all become him you then your material is hate speech it's hate speech bacon bacon who are you just like what's going on yeah you know like to Muslims and Jewish people it's like I'm glorifying this sinful thing you know it's so weird do that so true depending on upon how the future looks at things yeah or how they even choose to look at things as like writers of Articles and this and that you could be vilified well I mean I think even the Roseanne thing that happened on your podcast yeah is I mean maybe I'm just kind of opening my eyes a little bit to it but like it literally took me two seconds so I saw she was trending so what she said then I watched the clip and I was like obviously she was joking she was being sarcastic Why didn't and I don't even know that's all I know like I didn't talk to anyone else about it does it still exist as an issue no no it was going away it was just yeah it was just crazy they just like they took our episode down and they said that we they gave us like a strike on our Channel because they have like like but they retracted it right they didn't but they have their policies and we couldn't post for like a week so those you know that's YouTube and their policies they deemed it like hate speech and that's their that's their rules right and so that's you know I'm grateful to YouTube because I get to have this this platform at the same time I I don't uh you know I disagree with them but I think that anyone that oh and and you know that's where it's like you know any individual who works at YouTube would probably as an individual see that what you know Roseanne the legendary comedian and what she was saying was and I think she's Jewish would not view that as what some anti-semitic person would say yeah do you know what I mean oh yeah yeah totally I mean it was it definitely was interesting though I got him some if some Rabbi emailed me and invited me to some summer camp or something and uh but it was like eleven hundred dollars I'm not going on that and then of course the Holocaust happened like who would ever you know oh my gosh every third book at the airport is about it how you know what I'm saying of course it happened well I think it's also uh you know not to excuse the overreaction but I actually do think that there is um uh uh an almost normalizing of anti-Semitic speech and I also think that and I'm not saying because it's different when it's Roseanne Barr and uh and like someone who is just a flat out anti-semite or like speaking in anti-semitic tropes it's like I do think it's you know there's no comparing what uh Roseanne said to us but these other people would do right if there's like a real hateful person yeah I mean and by the way I think anti-Semitism is like I mean look you know most commit like I'll have I don't know what percentage of comedians are Jewish but it's like all our friends are Jewish and it's like you can't you know you know you you you you know stand-up comedy is a Jewish American art form that like is you know so many of the Great comedians were Jewish so oh yeah you have you end up being educated on anti-Semitism and you can't do a spot at the cellar without hearing three comedians do jokes about the Jewish American experience and anti-Semitism yeah I mean it's like yeah I think it's yeah I wish I had a like I can't tell if people bringing light to that creates makes things better or worse in that space right you know because no one said anything about it like you know a million people had watched the video there wasn't even a comment about it on YouTube right and then somebody makes a clip and purposely like is like hey look at this right and this is yeah the view of it I you know you don't want to create like a boy who cried wolf situation either and so that's you know especially when it's something as important as like um as people being hateful you know it's like you don't yeah that's so some of that is where some of my fear comes in like let's yeah we don't want people to become numb to it right right so but then also you know everybody has their their their different thoughts on it and and I respect different people's thoughts on it you know I respect that people come from different places and and I respect different people's thoughts on it um but yeah um dude I have a problem with how we with that we keep putting Joe Biden out there I feel like as a nation it makes us look like oh this is how and that we pretend everything is okay like doesn't that seem weird to you yeah well I mean I I'm somebody like I think that if Trump wasn't there or maybe I'm just imagining this I think if Trump wasn't there Biden would be like I'm done thanks everyone you know I mean I wanted to be good night dear I mean like I think that might put on some long johns in this show he'd be like I'm exhausted I'm exhausted I want to go and hang out uh with my wife yeah yeah you know what I mean and uh and hang out with Barack I don't want to do this anymore but like someone eat ice cream with the former press I want baracki Road dude he's got to come out but like yeah I think you know there's a difference between like the people that don't want to that again I think ego gets in the way of like the greater good right yeah and I don't but I don't know maybe he is like uh you know I'm great but I think it's fast I'm trying to write this thing all about how I mean I saw Harrison Ford in um that Raiders of the Lost Ark number four or whatever yeah he's 80. it was great it was an action movie and it's like you know 80 for Brady it's like they're all 80. yeah it's a good point and so yeah you want people to have long career yeah I'm look but I just feel like if we embr like if maybe the media was like this is our guy he's gonna say some [ __ ] you know instead of I feel like we put this like people try to pretend that it's that he's not getting unwell that's the part to me that it doesn't look weird to other people if it's like this is how we treat our senior citizens you know like as America like how we treat I mean I think it's like I thought your point would be more like everything's fine like we're living in a state of denial but I also felt that like during the entire pandemic when Trump would do his daily newscast that we were all like yeah it'll be fine it'll be fine it's like this guy is it's dear I mean it's and we've all had Bad Bosses yeah do you know what I mean it's like but I also feel I don't know it's weird I I you know I really do think that if if there was if if if if Trump was not a possibility I think Biden be like see you later he'd be like I did my thing I'm gonna be in the history books goodbye everyone Michigan J frog yeah it's uh that's a good point I hadn't thought about that maybe it's just more of like a defense um but yeah policy has just gotten so strange it used to be so different didn't it felt like we were all behind a leader didn't it feel like that I feel like it I mean I used to it was so strange because I grew up in this small town Indiana is a very red State and uh I lived in Manhattan I live in Manhattan and that's very blue and and the entertainment industry it's very liberal and comedians are very contrarian and so I loved I relish having friends of different opinions like at the Fourth of July I had a friend there who's a big kind of conservative like um you know he's you know he's all in on DeSantis and then I had a friend there that was you know that wouldn't vote for you know vote for Hillary you know I mean uh so left like Occupy Wall Street left and so it's like I like that diversity of opinion but and I and I feel like people that come to my shows um like even in uh the dark pale thing I have this this material on global warming and you know when I performed it around the country there'd be some people that are like all right global warming maybe you're I mean whereas like they're going they're giving me the they're like all right I don't know if I buy the premise right but I'm gonna have to I'll listen to the jokes yeah and so uh I liked that uh they're open to that but um there is also I don't know it's weird I know I'm kind of rambling no it's okay and we can even take that part out if we felt like it was too rambly if we for both of us kind of you know um let's take a little bit of news and then we'll get you out of here Jim sure because your special is coming out in a few days and the name of it is dark pale dark pale oh yes dark pal that would be your native it would be your Indian name huh Dirk pale dark pale dark pale uh yeah so it's uh you know it's kind of I wanted to go a little bit you know I think comedians uh you know our on-stage personas are a little bit more accessible and that maybe you know like what makes comedians laugh when we hang out is usually darker oh yeah than what's on stage and so it's kind of opening some of that up and also talking and I think that over the past five years we've gone through so much Darkness you know we've all lost someone lost some people you know what I mean and um so there's a little dose of nihilism that I think we need I think we need right yeah yeah I mean some people think we need a war really yeah oh that's so interesting where'd you hear that everywhere we need a war because they think it would put people back on the same side we had a common enemy that's interesting because there is part of like what's going to get us together and all right as soon as somebody says hey it's us against them it's like all right let's do this you know yeah I think that I I don't know I think it's interesting I think I think coming from this split background of you know uh I you know I have real resentment when people talk about the middle of the country or flyover states yeah me too it's like I think that that has to be shamed for the stupidity that it is because um you know again we were talking about the it's not like you're not gonna get a great meal you know I mean like there's this there's this um this dismissive stereotype and you'd think it would shrink with the internet but I feel like it's almost kind of grown where people are just I always think it's so weird when I do I'll do like a podcast or I'll be interviewed and someone will be like so is it different doing material in different parts of the country I'm like not really dear I mean it's like it's not really that different uh-uh do I mean it's not like people don't have every piece of technology or every form of entertainment yeah everywhere culturally we're very uh it's and by the way the world is like that it's like if anything culture is disappearing so they're not that's not to say that there aren't different viewpoints on things uh I don't mean to contradict myself earlier but like it's not like there's a real huge difference on right like from here to there yeah right you know but I guess I mean there's some like I know whenever I've been in like Illinois and certain places out there rural areas they don't even have 5G on their phone so it's like if they want it's like more of a they have to be at home and be on their Wi-Fi to really be Milling on their phones as much you know oh really um like some of my friends that work in like farming communities and stuff like that so I think in some areas there's probably a little bit less consumption oh yeah no where we uh we have a place that we got uh after the pandemic and if I'm outside working in my garden I have no service whatsoever yeah like there's just it's just a no man land for uh cell service so like my wife literally has to open the door like it's 1943. damn get in here your kids are doing this and I'll waddle over yeah with my basket of my Harvest yeah I love my garden you do Garden at all I don't Garden man I would like to have it someday I will once I quit touring a little bit after next year what do you like to grow in your garden I I love to grow just about everything but like I'm jealous of like so Louisiana I could probably grow peanuts down there oh yeah I could you know I uh I don't have that long of a season so like there's some things that I can't grow that and some of it is it is so interesting to grow things can you grow wheat I could grow wheat I grow corn I grow cucumbers I grow uh pumpkins Peppers but like even Peppers it's like it's you know um you know North it's not that nobody wants a northern pepper no well it's a ballito when it walks in but like it's you know you don't it takes it's you gotta wait you need some real hot weather we need some harshness you need some [ __ ] pain in the oven yeah [ __ ] soil for Peppa black all right [ __ ] yeah I got this [ __ ] right you know that's the kind of pepper you want dog yeah I just got out yeah you want some you know the peppers are the best God they're so good huh right whoever had them first was such a [ __ ] weirdo but they were they are good oh they're amazing what do I love putting in my mouth I'm trying to think oh dude when I had those you know a lot of Asian people will fry up a um little cut of yam have you ever had that no my God is it good yeah so women Louisiana you like okra yeah I didn't mind it but then people start frying it and it tastes dude it starts to look like it's been giving a [ __ ] to somebody it gets real uh viscous yeah yeah no it's I like it in a gumbo but otherwise I'm like I'm like I don't know about it okay yeah when you lift up a spoonful of it it has like a trail that goes back to the stuff and you're like whoa this thing has been yeah doing BJs you know yeah it's a bit slimy yeah it's real slimy yeah so I don't mind but what else do I like man I like broccoli plain you know my taste buds change over the years I'd have started liking tiramisu to be honest with you oh really yeah you are a dessert guy God I [ __ ] want it boy when it's nighttime [ __ ] yeah I will get up in the middle of the night it's more than chocolate well it keeps me off of vaping I notice if I can get a sugar in me I'll wake up the middle of the night and put some peanut butter on my tongue and go back to sleep better that's I want to grow peanuts I think peanuts but if you could do it Jim Gaffigan's peanut butter oh my God I would love to do it but peanuts I I haven't even watched a video of this but I think the peanut plant grows and then the flowers drop into the ground and they become the peanuts oh it's beautiful it's so crazy I'm growing potatoes oh yeah I could see that I'm very excited about that and carrots are fun to grow yeah carrots are fun to grow you're gonna cut all this out of the podcast because it's so boring bro it's the best part I think um um what else would I like to have onions garlic I love garlic garlic is probably one of the best garlic is good it just feels so um it looks like something's wrong with it oh it looks alien yeah it looks a little alien um I do like seeing uh I like watermelons oh watermelons are fun that would be great to grow in the South yeah because watermelons and pumpkins you just and squash you turn you turn your back you look back it's like they've grown a foot yeah it's crazy how big is your garden square feet are we talking it's not that big I have two I I built one that when we got the place it was kind of already there and then um and then here let me see what I got here this is oh there's a picture of you right there in some Garden that looks like no this is a hike but this is my garden right now that's those are the raised beds oh yeah see that's oh wow Jim this is beautiful yeah but I have this it's my wife calls it the English garden and then that's oh that's that's my Irish garden and so the Irish Garden was there was kind of this field that um I kind of converted now this is what see that field up there this is what that field looks like now so it's oh that's great man these are both on the same property yeah and so one does look more Irish yeah right this one looks more like it could have a headstone in part of it yeah and so uh but this is you know how like you waste time I don't know if you waste time on Instagram so like on scrolling and all that oh yeah on Tick Tock I scroll on Instagram on stories but I'm just watching people harvesting stuff that's beautiful now there's something romantic about that I think yeah you know get out there in the dirt oh yeah my grandmother used to make us put these nets over her strawberries so the crows didn't get them oh yeah you know she lived out in Illinois and Rural Illinois and they had a rain barrel out there and they would collect rain yeah and um did she have any paint did she ever paint rocks to look like strawberries to tricks yeah to trick the crows yeah dude I never realized that's why she did that but she would always have these painted rocks yeah so the birds would come down they'd Peck at the Rock and then they'd be like forget it and they'd leave ah Athens that both the bird and the human that do that are freaking wild um and that's that'd be crazy like this would be like what if you put a stone woman outside you know and some rapist runs up the Scarecrow right the Scarecrow is supposed to scare it's pretty crazy how there's uh all these things to trick the animals to trick the animals and also and then there's companion planting which is fun but I just and what is that plants need friends kind of you know plants need friends or will some people talk to their plants yeah I've seen that before and uh but a companion plant is like planting something uh nearby that either will help um with nutrients or will deter pests so for instance onions or uh certain pests don't like the smell of it and then um you know oh yeah bro like uh uh cilantro is it will deter things and um you know basil oh yeah I like having some basil huh basil is amazing a lot of women who are having a tough time grow basil I feel like well it's you know it'll bolt it's like you gotta you got a secession plant none of this is going to end up in the episode oh I think it's interesting um let's get into a couple new things and we'll get you out of here Jim what happened in the news anything exact what happened there's a video going around I guess a mayor in Mexico married an alligator um that's I guess that's a good luck thing but this is real no this isn't part of some ritual yeah no oh yeah oh it is part of a ritual uh these are locked to the town yeah not surprised it seems kind of we also have his mouth shut like that what else we got did they consummate the marriage right there used to be a YouTube video of a man making love to a uh big Chow like a chow animal in a park on YouTube for years that they couldn't get down for some reason yeah and I think it was in Santa Monica oh is this about sharks everywhere no no this video has gotten a ton of views I guess this woman was uh faking cleaning up a beach for social media and then left all the trash there after this has five million views and a lot of people have a problem with this oh oh wow yeah it's all just for show now so this girl's Faking It oh and then she just left the bag there um not shocked that's what happens man if people they it's just about what the look is you know it's hard what is that that is a simple it's a sickness huh it's well it's the absence of right or wrong I remember one time I saw a movie recently and um I was with my 10 year old and we were with a friend and my ten-year-old spilled this big bucket of popcorn oh and I and I was like I looked at it and I was like and my friend was like well pick it up and the weird thing is is like I was like I was gonna pick it up but I was like he thought I wasn't gonna pick it up and so I was like but why wouldn't I pick it up because I think the tendency is like someone else would do it oh yeah right times have changed man I noticed when the elevator stops people get out people will get in before you even had a chance to get out that never used to be the case wow well here's an interesting thing that I think is happening usually when I'm out and about and I used to and I'd run into somebody and they'd be like hey nice to meet you we'd have a nice conversation then at the end they used to say hey can I have a photo or I don't want to bother you can have a photo now they say you have this nice conversation they we trained for a while and then they go hey can you call a friend of mine yeah and I'm like what do you mean and they're like if you could call my nephew and I'm like no yeah and these are perfectly normal people yeah and and I'll be like no I'm not gonna do that and they're like calling your friend I just you know I just want people to know yeah it's too much dude yeah somebody the other day was like Hey Brother uh this is the craziest thing I ever got this guy is a young Mexican guy and he had on a wife beater right and he's like hey will you sign my jersey right that's what he called it which made me laugh first of all it was really funny and you seemed like a funny dude we had a nice chat and then he goes hey homie will you make a video for my cousin Hector right he's like like what's wrong with yeah sure I will what do you want me to say like just say something nice man he got possessed by ghosts that's what he said right and the guy's being totally serious so I'm like what do I even [ __ ] what do you want me to do sorry you're possessed by ghosts yeah so I was just I was like what do you want me to say like just tell him we miss him you know so that's what I did I was like Hey Hector Homie we miss you dog but it was just like what are we doing yeah what's the value here you know what's the value like what what onions are we growing right that's the overall question here um you have a new TV series that's out too right yeah dude you're doing a lot of acting do you think that's where you're gonna start directing more do you think no no but I hope to act I you know I hope to act and I love stand up and and since Philip Seymour Hoffman died you could take over his stuff I mean everyone keeps saying that why um it is like one of those things where part of me when people say that I just think that's weirdly common that people say that and the other part of me is like why aren't I getting those roles Capote too or something it is kind of funny man sometimes people's brains fill in the other person you know um Dan um who would play you oh I don't know probably um there's this if five doctors this kid named Rupp he's like I don't know what show he was on but he's interesting DJ Rupp bring him up he would play me I think kid but get him more re let's just see if see any more pictures of him we thought what's the dreads from I'm not sure yeah these are old pictures of them but um I think he would probably play me I think I could see him doing it yeah I don't know where is he from I'm not sure probably is he is he a DJ I don't know if he really is but he's funny dude he's this dude is really really funny but I think he could probably play me who would play you you think say you'd die you passed away oh my god um who's the guy who um oh I knew it is Jesse Pemberton Jesse plemons Jesse plemons yeah he's cool yeah did you ever meet him I've never met him I met Phil Hoffman a couple times you did yeah did he say Hey you look like me a little no I mean yeah I think we both had heard it and I we improvised a movie where um with a bunch of other people and um they were figuring out it was this uh Bob Balaban Who does these other things and it was it was a great gig like I was flown to L.A to improvise this movie every day and all this and this was in the maybe 2000s and um or maybe maybe it was before that and so anyway um so we're sitting there talking and so I'm with Phil and I go I go well we should probably play Brothers and the guy's like I was thinking more of you guys are friends and I'm like all right I mean we literally look like brothers but okay and so yeah that guy's weird no vision then no but he he's obviously Bob baliban's brilliant but oh he's a brilliant guy he is a brilliant guy and he uh but like he just that's not how he saw it but it was and we never ended up we improvised the script and then he Bob was going to go away and write it and then after that Phil Hoffman like then it was Capote and he was on another level yeah did you ever get to spend time oh yeah wow I could definitely see it more and more now yeah that's crazy I think I'm how old was he what year was he born what if we were born the same day if we were found out that we were like this that found off uh found the same parents July 20 July 23 1967. on July 7th 1966. what if y'all are the same person isn't that crazy yeah he's from the West Village no well he was from a guy in the West Village yeah I think he's from Rochester Fairport New York wow where Fairport New York did you ever spend time with um Robin Williams I met him a couple times yeah was he like the one of the biggest when you met him was he just like he was on another level was it he was the nicest sweetest guy like I met him at he did uh Bob goldthwaite's movie and he was this really sweetheart it's really weird because I I you know he was known as among the comedians I mean there was a before he went back to doing stand-up he was known as this guy that would steal people's material like some of it is I think he was on coke and he was unaware of it and and he talked so much that he yeah he was Triple timing anything so yeah and so he was um but you know he was the sweetest and like every time I met him I didn't feel like I was you know it was like talking to a a just another comedian yeah very strange because it wasn't like like you know how in La everyone's kind of looking around the room yeah it was just a conversation he was locked in yeah it was pretty special like you see why people were attracted to him yeah was he vital or was he regular size he was he was not he was um similar to Brody he he was a hairy guy you know what I mean what else about to answer your question I think he was he wasn't super tiny yeah but he was not not 510. do you yeah do you start to think about it is there a spot where like a comfortable place where comedians retire do you ever think about that like not I know you talk earlier about not staying in it too long you know like is there a comfortable place where people I don't know I feel like I like do you think about that at all I'm not saying no isn't no I feel like stand up is a living kind of thing that you know people might not be interested in you doing it uh but I think you can continue to do it and I think that there is something uh so emotionally rewarding about doing it don't you feel that way oh yeah whereas I um but I don't think it's it's um yeah I mean I I think that I'll it's just kind of like coming up with new material is just too rewarding to kind of give up yeah there is something great about it yeah you get one new line one new line you're like I'm hooked for another year right [Music] um yeah I think we covered a lot of stuff Zach do you have anything else no I think we're all good Jim I might have to go but okay Jim thanks so much man sorry I didn't know we'd been here so long no it's good it's good it's fun I'm done [Music] [Music] gonna take

Channel: Theo Von

Views: 1,150,179

Keywords: Theo Von, This Past Weekend, TPW, comedy, podcast, comedian, interview, talk show, stand-up, stand-up comedy, jim gaffigan

Id: yoYo9gE0qs4

Length: 157min 5sec (9425 seconds)

Published: Tue Jul 18 2023

Reddit Comments

[u/GarappoloMcCorkle]

“Dude, remember nursery rhymes? People would always sing those to babies, and now people are like shut the fuck up kid”

[u/rontonamoebay]

I think he was an aqua marine? ...do you mean navy seal? Damn that was hilarious

[u/marshall15072]

I love when theo gets to riff with good comedians who can set each other up back and forth. Just like with Shane gillis. Very entertaining ep.

[u/StingRayPoptart]

Y’all trippin Jim was refreshing

[u/kimjongswagger]

Good episode Gaffigan is a great comedian. Also loved when they talked about Greg Giraldo. Hw was so talented, underrated, and one of the first comedians I was introduced to; so he holds a special place in my heart.

[u/solemnsparrow]

This episode was amazing. Theo is crushing

[u/Super_Parsley_4305]

I couldn’t finish this one. His voice was too annoying 😭😭

[u/Chopstickchuck99]

I hope Jim doesn’t start joking about the holocaust .

[u/kb1117]

Thought it was a good episode. They definitely have different opinions on some things but still had a fun conversation where they shot the shit. How things should be.