Baldur's Gate 3 Is a Bi Nightmare

foreign okay okay all right wow look at this terms of service guys cool um I am staring very awkwardly my ass is just like I want to see [ __ ] and balls but twitch is like no no no come on because they'll just have to do a personal play through where I [ __ ] everybody keep it off you hate my ass I have gamer eyes oh [ __ ] okay I think we're good can't see [ __ ] and ball unfortunately but I guess that's fine I'm gonna go with Norman like I always do I don't even know if we can even make Voxer because the first time when I played the beta I made [ __ ] boy boxer he looked so bad I'm gonna have to look away during this because it's so [ __ ] disgusting yeah my turn time to get my little guy into my brain oh damn oh actually proceed there he is this [ __ ] bastard we're gonna do the we're gonna do the litmus test okay the Voxer litmus test oh yeah I played a [ __ ] half elf because they look like twinks sorry Mega white boy that's like a that's like a himbo he is knuff half elf comes in himo or twink and I think that's hilarious I don't know this kind of serves there's a lot going on here oh God yeah baby women no guys I can't be stuck in here for too long hold on does Baldur's Gate boxer freckles I think so you can give piercings let's [ __ ] go oh you can have heterochromia car chrome wow he has heterophobia in his eyes slay boxer slave all right chat has decided let's see what he looks like with facial hair [Laughter] dude he's got his titties out let's [ __ ] go Barbarian is nice and simple and I'm bad at video games so that works out oh no this into is like at eight it sucks because he's actually not stupid remove all Charisma no worries no risk all right I think we're done I think I think that's everything what the [ __ ] is a guardian this is like not arching anymore this is another handsome fella this is another just a really handsome character we've been here for too long God damn it you have been balding well there he is let's go I'm really happy this time around my computer can actually handle this game oh my God [ __ ] off like it wasn't even settling let's just very obvious I love dragons dragons are so cool God dragons are so cool oh [ __ ] that's three guys it's three Boulder Escape three good morning wake up sleepyhead damn his titty is just real out dude every single time I look at the settings I just see the option show genitals I don't remember how to play this game okay guys you might you have to like stick with me I'm like I have a German keyboard I don't remember what the home button was time to throw the dice oh [ __ ] yeah let's go nuts squatty I still want to touch it I want to see it of this rate uh I forgot how to jump It's swapped X and Y I bought a German keyboard video game ah there it is can we act that is not why this is the worst day of my life Y and Zed are swapped on the German keyboard [Music] um no hello you know no creature like this okay well we have advantage wait that's bad yeah I don't think it's gonna work well I guess we have to kill it the story of the brain sorry bye oh my God oh I gotta love it got along with this [ __ ] doesn't work out huh oh damn hello you're about to see that I'm really bad at this video game wow guys get ready to fight combat housing rounds and each participant gets a turn to act I want to go and hit this guy oh he's dead okay that's fine all right come here get the [ __ ] out of you I guess oh look a hand ax oh look a crossbow oh look a scimitar oh look an incinerated mind flare oh look a gun one shows nipple one does not I assume oh damn he's got an ass holy [ __ ] I can see penis let's go hold on look at look at those [ __ ] buns hey what's going on over here oh let's go let's be in Barbarian let's oh we can't do you intend to die for a stranger yes don't give up tear this thing open let's go yeah open that [ __ ] thing go boxer yeah uh sorry I'm a little [ __ ] right now it's puny mine cage is nothing hey did you feel that just now we were in each other's heads and hot right boxer can you stop being dramatic oh hey hold on hey you come here come here no you come back here [ __ ] [ __ ] nope oh it says unleash but the rest we can't read this [ __ ] suction we are nearing the hell once inside do as I say who put you in charge I'll Trust my own judgment okay damn the girls are fighting God okay okay uh yeah we needed to uh [ __ ] you that's awkward oh goodbye all right critical miss it sucks to be you why are you so bad at hitting something that's right in front of you that's the only thing you should be doing quick quick I don't care anymore boxer looks very unbothered by this situation [Music] well that's the end of Oxford Ella feel sorry guys bird Haven chapter 2 is never coming out ah yes the mangled Fisher sorry man gold's mine now oh [ __ ] wake up wake up perform class action [Music] you're doing great sweetie you're doing great he's so bad at everything wait go intelligence check oh holy [ __ ] we're so smart sorry for stealing your uh your Cube I'm so sorry boxer ouch damn oh no oh God all right get this thing boxer has one job and he's failing at that one John fine nice Barbarian Level Two health and creates oh I've got one of those bring things corners come on man I've not done anything to you yet you arrogant little dude do you know anything about these words I love him I love him he's such a bastard I want him or want him I want him in boxer sorry what can we strip him for strategic reasons if you're reading this you manage to better behead of me either way you got lucky nice nice it needs sustenance to survive and body you can provide lead in as for a kiss get away from that thing oh no oh thank god let's kill it price uh nope I'm good thanks I wouldn't touch this sigil ouch hello oh hi but I know you don't I you're on the northlord as well I'm glad we all know each other how did you survive the fool ah I didn't I took control of the ship I landed it safely and saved the day why would you say that why would you say that's not even true damn it happened to be a doctor surgeon uncannily adroit with a knitting needle wait Kale's awesome Yes sounds like a plan come with me most eggs I love this guy no you dig GS what do you mean you're a barbarian take it with my hands is so uncivilized oh dude I feel like I'm about to [ __ ] die uh it's ominous here oh I'm Gonna Save the game real quick how am I holding up in your ass box is just like do you like me yes or no oh the inscription is in a language unknown to you [ __ ] well fellas we've tried I think Fox is being oh oh oh [ __ ] oh nor oh ouch hey uh this sucks um yeah I messed up yeah I'm I'm a little stuck inside this uh this little corner which is bad [ __ ] off hey we did it hello hi can I help you what is the worth of a single mortal life to only life that matters is mine okay thanks I still don't know who you are here um far lighter than it should be with love well we have a heavy key Beauty book I will smash you punch the book you did it I'm very proud of you ha I wonder what that means keep hitting it maybe it'll work let's go boxer I'm so proud of him watch how you go oh it's a trap see it's fine there are so many traps here what the [ __ ] we should probably leave yeah let's go to hell what's your damn mouth um why are you here what can I do for you I want to know you better but you won't talk to me no lock no handle how does it open I know away all right how's it going I don't exactly know where we are how are there so many of you [Music] boxer's getting his dick beaten oh the [ __ ] she's about to die oh he's dead um oh [ __ ] hey how's it going hi no more pacifism in this game oh nice good job boxer hey how's it going uh I'm going to do the thing called an epic gamer move uh as in I'm going to [ __ ] hurt you a lot huh I'm gonna go to sleep what are you doing huh trips hours think you can clear it out from under our nose here yeah everybody else is dead might now leave come on you Lord let's get out of here I mean we already killed everybody that was in there so uh [Music] here in a senpai stream nothing works the way that it's supposed to well the problem is that again we don't have deception and we don't have persuasion we are bad at both of us there are goblin traps everywhere everywhere release me and I will share it will you I don't think I will okay well bye here you go Shadow heart does not like the shoes here well guys we've encountered new magic god I've already been playing this game for five hours and almost two of those hours I spent in character creator I can't believe that in the end I did still make boxer it's I am enjoying the latest addition to our little group Lazelle is delightful in a very look at me twice and I'll dismember you kind of way of course you're so weird I am so in love with this man he is just such a I I'm gonna say he's just such a [ __ ] I love it oh dog oh [ __ ] why hello there I think barf is gonna die [Applause] box are you ready to throw something again get ready boxer that's not well there goes my actions hey can you stop that I think they'll be fine I think they'll be fine I think they'll how is he still alive you know what boxer you know what to do ah all of them are alive no no wait stop open it again the human's eye twitches he's about to blow ing boxer would totally punch him in the face it's fine maybe it's not fun oh lunges at your foot and bites it hit the squirrel I'm so glad boxer just growled at a hey who the [ __ ] hey hey hey hey that's a butt or the [ __ ] that this guy come from what the hell and I thought I was doomed now I feel sorry for you oh thanks oh [ __ ] wait that's a dragon that's that's a dragon yeah that's a [ __ ] Dragon over there damn boxer looking kinda I know isn't he kind of I'm just saying he's just as stupid though and I love that he's so dumb I can't believe we can just [ __ ] do this that is so funny it oh God sorry ow potato I have a [ __ ] loot Goblin what is all of this what am I doing calm down behind going to get us killed hey can you guys shut up over there I'm trying to think I love that Barbarian is just like thick-headed it's so funny how day you're addressing me a humble Ox something's off you're totally a druid move no no no no moo you're gonna tell me what you are oh wow oh that's cute weeping bleeding what a what a smart kid thanks for the free ring stupid child runs away Welcome to the Real World I suddenly feel something moving against your back and turn oh you wanted to yeah I know I was standing right here telling her to rob you and I was being so kind you could at least pretend to be sorry I'm sorry we're still talking about this oh man okay I can't I can't do anything with the hole hey you saunter's over sexily hell's great fires you were there you were on the ship oh God can I can I help you we need to be ready for a fight but I'm useless with a sword try hitting rage you say you know what you're doing oh I think don't shout out your rooms like that spoil's a surprise for your phone oh it shoot me she'll be what in every hell is wrong with you I'm a I'm a [ __ ] idiot that's why drow a Dragonborn and a cleric of cyric walk into a bar out came the crossbow and a hush fell over the entire room please tell me your shot was fired I don't know yours truly defused the situation oh Shadow dark ale for everyone a crowd shared attention drained into five dozen tankards and soon all was well and then everyone clapped you went and stood in front of that crossbow ah drink to that thanks a goblin healer we really are desperate aren't we I don't know man something over there oh hello only a good sign oh what though oh God what just happened All My Friends Are Dead I was gonna die anyway oops it'll be fine are you [ __ ] kidding me again okay I guess they're just helping us speak move out oh turn it off turn it off ow good to be free again gotta say see at the camp all right hello there Travelers you have found yourself again here in the story of a barbarian who doesn't know how to think what will he and his merry band of dingley do's do today find out on this episode I still can't stop thinking about the show genitals option I think that's still really funny I was I was worried that people would be annoyed that I made Voxer again but everybody seems to be like okay with Barbarian dumbass a hunk boxer I think people are fine with him hello we didn't do anything we're innocent flicker to yours for an instant then away as if it hurts to look at you I have no idea what that means well we can go through here now I you planning on telling me stealing is wrong no dude vox's morals are so [ __ ] uh quite the opposite I want to invest in this team skills on the sword course here you go turn down free money awesome I'm in with the with the kindergarten themes Guild I'm really sneaky I'm known for my sneakness me Barbarian boxer bear bear I don't know who you are is Volo from previous game oh he's a d d lore character okay oh we can just take the mug word they won't notice they won't miss it that will see me promise me a mix oh that's not my problem oh [ __ ] snake this is just a what wrath a thief a poison a threat a kid you're a [ __ ] racist well we need to get a 12. see we got it yeah wait hold on what is that look there's something going on in this brain event bro what are you thinking about I have this condition sorry I can't stop looking at him that's his angled dude your help could be the difference between life and death say it you think I'm a monster hey I wanted to speak to the big book there he is big buff big buff big buff what will you do you do grab my tail shout until my head hurts no I'm gonna pet you no I want to pet you no you need it what other kinds are there it's not like a frog hopped in my eye or perhaps the tadpoles are merely oh we can finally talk to you what you were just standing a moment ago I don't want you to run off the [ __ ] but you're stronger than I gave you credit for I'll see you later I'm sure sleep tight [ __ ] vampire [ __ ] all right keeping an eye on all of you especially you I would give anything thing to see house in return home okay I'll find him hold on I can do the same thing hold on it's time everybody that's the creative process for you Agony and ecstasy mostly Agony I feel that oh [ __ ] I have an extra loot if you want oh no we came for part of inspiration by just talking God foxy you look so [ __ ] I'm sorry I'm glad we're just getting like a full-on performance in the video game I'm sorry I can't stop looking at boxer's tit it's just right there so much blood oh uh I'm sorry disengages oh her singing it's awful her voice isn't that bad those squirrels are just haters someone singing wait are those harpies hold on hold on what was that [Music] such an idiot oh [ __ ] oh [ __ ] uh yep oh [ __ ] you okay that Harpy's dead he's gonna continue to sing oh my is this an evil Voxer run what do you mean evil boxer run he's stupid he's very dumb but evil not so much he killed those poor innocent harpies true I should have thought about that you came Mo said I should thank you properly for the harpies so I wrote you a story oh thank you it's about you I hope you like it once there was a boy on a beach he saw there was a harpy Nest he was very good climber the boy taught the adventure was um amazing yes so cute um ah yes why why would you do that ow wait hurt you're in the ground ma'am yeah that didn't oh oh I didn't fix her in quotation marks but I fixed her I have conflict once and then I go sleep he does splitting between dreams oh [ __ ] whoa finds better please and you can trust me I'm not a fan of vampires I'd never choose a vampire but have a little Sofia is it gay to drink someone's blood let's make ourselves comfortable what the [ __ ] what the [ __ ] of course that was amazing okay what boxer is now a subscriber to his only Fang's smile I'm bloodless how do you feel bad as for my other quirks well we can figure those out in time hey stop you're such a sweetheart word of warning historian I taste absolutely awesome this is so dumb so stupid I hate being in a situation we just have this thing hanging out in our inventory oh I feel so EP nice nice zoom in on the titty hello can I help you well met I am Raphael very much At Your Service who the [ __ ] are you come oh attained yeah I knew it [Music] please stay with us can you hear us Ed it's hurt badly an oil Bear gone deep [Music] value what the [ __ ] your actions ew we just have the [ __ ] tadpole in our wow we just pocket it okay that was weird let's never do that again yeah oh oh no oh no no I will have minus two because of my current and my bloodless etched into the leather scratch what was I trying to do I forgot Alba trapped if Nest must be nearby oh oh this owl bear has children there's magic keeping keeping chest sealed I can feel its Aura how out of the darkness hi can we talk weak killing you would be a waste of time oh no okay that's all right we're not gonna kill the Cubs what did you do what oh it's ranging oh [ __ ] wake hungry I can't kill a baby you watch speechless as the Cub because oh eat his mother oh well good for it I guess Jesus Christ I feel so insane I'm worried that I'm missing places there's so much so much to do oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh dialogue there you are my friend that's uh-huh are you drunk I have drunk not alcohol of course a bear he he's BL he's blood drunk I can be better than him stronger more powerful oh you meant kinda pet bunnies that sort of thing I think it's better if you stay here at the camp for a while you're a big cuckoo right now he's Heisenberg from Ari oh this is the weirdest cat we just have a lich over there we have a dog a vampire dude who eats magic artifacts we're definitely a merry band of weirdos that's for sure an average DND campaign we got you surrounded yeah we just avoided combat shows the brand of the absolute uh yeah problem with that dude if this fail it's gonna end so bad oh that was really dumb oh my God they have a lot of Health um I think I might be dead what the [ __ ] does that mean must be an aluminoid oh it's cubanoid I didn't sorry I don't know why I read illuminoid of course no oh where are you going [Music] [ __ ] off boxer we need your help dude we are in a very not good position in a very bad very bad awful position actually oh [ __ ] everybody is solo Health this is real bad foreign we're gonna have to fight the rest of the Goblins now or not huh or they didn't notice it one or the other the well looks unremarkable oh oh [ __ ] a face spider oh [ __ ] they can teleport and it and I'm on fire spider [ __ ] off I don't feel like this is a good idea there have to be more enemies here if it's this big yeah yeah yeah it's fine let's go oh my companions are dead let's just load the game just leave just leave just get the [ __ ] out of here there you are why are you I was just thinking about you you are so horny it's insane I've had this condition for two centuries but truth be told you're my first you're looking at other decks I'm hurt but the gift what in the Hills would she taste like this is still theoretical right if you want them who would it be oh my God there's something weird going on here rancid Ransom sings another little birdie won in to fly you really want to try that we'll have to be rephrase that why are you doing that I am not I'm not paying a thousand what's [ __ ] wrong with you you live and pay me loads more oh wait five okay I'm I'm gonna I'm gonna do this we'll leave you to it how do we stop this thing bro hold on I'm trying to find a way how to help you cut me loose if we should meet again well we will have met again okay goodbye he is technically no longer stuck on the windmill that is that is correct that is absolutely correct what the [ __ ] is this guy doing bro shouldn't have slept now he's dead hello um look they're all good I'm gonna missing oh smash you oh [ __ ] I think Fox is about oh what are his measurements you're asking for voxer's measurement he seems a lot taller than five inches you are correct in Julia dagger protruding from the three meat yeah let's go let's just be strong tug at the dagger until the blade snaps in two minutes well there goes that magical weapon probably oh that's a good auto save thanks for doing that now I'm scared oh that's not come on thank you I was just worried declare yourself an ally the Barbarian strikes again oh [ __ ] oh God oh god well two of my friends are dead a note to self don't piss off the mirror explodes you with my mind [Music] and this time I'll make sure I'm quiet I will eat you right up and just enough to leave you wishing for more okay all right chill bro I feel so nervous around him I feel like I might die what's on your mind help me help me you try to examine the book but the longer you stare the more those piercing amethyst eyes draw you in why don't you take a closer look I'll observe from back here it is not too late it has every [ __ ] resistance we just have a screaming book now I will touch it all right here we go again I'm looking too but not seeing very much yeah you can't see yourself in the mirror I've never even seen this face not since it grew fangs and my eyes turned red what do you see when you look at me wait this is real this Saturday mirrors aren't much use but being reflected in someone else's eyes well I could do worse all right time to get sucked I guess it's all for the greater good in the end let's come over these boys I just want to go home but he stand there gaping get him what the [ __ ] going on uh all right um I I guess I'll just I didn't mean for this to happen [ __ ] well one of them is alive yeah it's dead you feel like you're being watched oh my God a 20. the smell of rot assaults your senses as the illusion vanishes oh [Music] oh this area is weird oh I have spiders I'm so I'm so confused why can't I do anything oh well they're um at the end I want to end my turn no [Music] sure ouch I genuinely didn't notice that Gail was down and they just keep summoning oh my [ __ ] god [ __ ] you I'm throwing [ __ ] I'm sorry oh wait he's dead he's actually Dead all right guess I'm playing hot potato with potions wait this dude is not dead he's knocked out that could have gone better that could have gone worse we have so many [ __ ] quests fancy a bowl best to fill your belly now while we still can hell yeah our little Hellion told us what happened thank you oh Dad oh I would this is what boxer would say but I think you're so rude I can't do it you have to be sweet wait nature is healing ah that damn nose of yours has gone poking in our business that has to be a 50. 14. okay that's minus one two oh let's go that should be fine right come here oh she's dead you once called me a monster seems I've proven you right no way they wouldn't see me do this has been stolen I don't have it I don't have it I don't have it I don't have it's right there looks literally guys it's like right there I like that they were like who would do such a thing and then it's like standing right there I can't pick it up from the front for some reason wait wait I have a good idea do I have to steal it I'm stealing it for the kids I know this is safe scumming but I've I've I finished it twice I did it twice yikes nope hello children I know exactly what you yearn for I had a feeling you'd be back guess what I have now scram before I get emotional we're done for today that's it I I feel like I didn't do anything today on stream I feel like I made zero progress uh [Music] uh anyways everybody have fun thank you so much for watching I'll see you guys later bye bye

Channel: Shenpai

Views: 447,736

Keywords: Funny, Baldur's Gate 3, Astarion, Shadowheart, Lae'Zel, BG3, Baldur's Gate III, DnD, Larian, Dungeons & Dragons, Playthrough, Highlights

Id: ISEu-IiGK1I

Length: 43min 0sec (2580 seconds)

Published: Mon Aug 21 2023