Baby Shower - SNL

>> OH, BURP CLOTHS WITH LITTLE DUCKIES ON THEM. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THROWING ME THE BABY SHOWER. I FEEL SO WELCOMED TO THE NEIGHBORHOOD. >> OF COURSE. SO WHEN ARE YOU BECOMING A MOM. >> MY DUE DATE IS JULY 14. >> NO, THAT'S WHEN YOU ARE HAVING A CHILD. WHEN YOU ARE BECOMING A TRUE MOTHER. YOU KNOW WHEN ARE YOU? >> WHEN AM I WHAT? >> SHE WANTS TO KNOW WHEN YOU ARE GETTING THE CUT? >> THE CUT? >> YES. >> THE CUT! >> YOU KNOW, THE HAIRCUT THAT ALL MOMS HAVE. >> LIKE THE SOFT WATER FALL IN THE FRONT. BUT KNIVES IN THE BACK. >> THE ONE THAT LOOKS LIKE YOU ARE GOING TO A FORMAL EVENT BUT ON THE WAY YOU ARE STRUCK BY LIGHTNING. >> THE SCARED DINOSAUR FROM JURASIC PARK. >> DON'T THINK THAT LOOK IS FOR ME? >> THAT'S WHAT WE ALL THOUGHT. ONE DAY, SOMETHING WILL BREAK INSIDE YOU AND YOU KNOW THE TIME HAS COME TO GET CUT. >> WHAT WAS IT FOR YOU? >> WELL, I WAS GETTING READY TO LEAVE A WEDDING. ALL OF A SUDDEN I THOUGHT I NEED TO TAKE THE CENTERPIECE. I CANNOT LEAVE A WEDDING WITHOUT THE CENTERPIECE. >> WAS IT AT THE END OF THE RECEPTION? >> NO, I LEFT EARLY BECAUSE I DON'T LIKE MUSIC. I TOOK THE CENTERPIECE AND I KNEW IT WAS TIME FOR THE CUT. BUT THE CUT FIND YOU IN DIFFERENT WAYS. NOW FOR ME, IT WAS MUCH MORE ABRUPT. I COMPLETELY BLACKED OUT. CAME TO IN THE PARKING LOT OF A MARSHALL'S/HOME GOODS. NOW IN MY HANDS WAS A RUSTIC SIGN THAT JUST SAID THE WORD "HOME." THE NEXT DAY I GOT THE CUT. >> FOR ME IT WAS WHEN I BOUGHT A BIG GLASS URN, HUGE, TAKES UP MY KITCHEN ISLAND. WHAT DID I PUT IN IT? ONE CANDLE. >> WHEN DO YOU LIGHT IT? >> NEVER! >> SO YOU ARE TELLING ME THERE IS GOING TO BE SOME SORT OF MAGICAL MOMENT. SUDDENLY I AM GOING TO WANT A HAIRCUT THAT IS CURTAINS IN THE FRONT, IRON THRONE IN THE BACK? >> NO ONE WANTS THE CUT. THE CUT CHOOSES YOU. FOR ME IT HAPPENED WHEN I STEPPED INTO MY BATHROOM I CLOSED MY EYES AND HEARD THE OCEAN. AND IN THAT MOMENT I KNEW MY BATHROOM MUST BE AN OCEAN. I NEED LIGHTHOUSES. I NEED SEASHELLS. I NEED SOAP IN THE SHAPE OF A FLIP-FLOP. >> WHY DO YOU NEED SOAP IN THE SHAPE OF A FLIP-FLOP? >> HA-HA-HA. SILLY GIRL, SHE SEEKS CLARITY ONLY THE CUT CAN PROVIDE. BUT, SOON YOU WILL KNOW MANY THINGS. LIKE BATHROOMS ARE OCEANS, BUT THE KITCHEN IS A FARM. >> UH-HUH. >> YES, A KITCHEN ITS WATERING CANS, PICKET FENCES, PIG IN A CHEF'S HAT. >> THE CUT IS MORE POWERFUL THAN YOU CAN EVER IMAGINE. MY DOCTOR TOLD ME I COULDN'T GET PREGNANT UNLESS I HAVE SEX WITH MY HUSBAND. WHICH I WOULD NEVER HAVE AND NEVER WILL. AND INSTEAD I JUST GOT THE CUT. AND THEN I LOOKED DOWN AND BOOM. I'M 7 MONTHS PREGNANT. >> THERE IS NO WAY THAT THAT COULD HAVE HAPPENED. >> REALLY? THEN ASK YOURSELF A QUESTION. WHY ARE YOU FOLDING THAT BAG SO CAREFULLY. >> SO I CAN SAVE IT FOR LATER. IT IS JUST SUCH A NICE BAG. >> WE KNOW. WE GIVE THEM TO EACH OTHER. I GOT THAT BAG FROM CLAIRE. >> I GOT THAT BAG FROM HEATHER. >> I GOT IT FROM BARBARA. >> THERE ARE ONLY SEVEN BAGS IN THIS ENTIRE COUNTY. KIND OF LIKE US, WOMEN WITH GOOD TASTE HAVE THE FORESIGHT TO SAVE. >> HI, MOM. >> HI, SWEETIE. >> SORRY TO INTERRUPT. I'M GOING TO GET SOMETHING TO EAT. >> I'LL FIX YOU A PLATE. >> IT'S ALL RIGHT. I WILL GET IT MYSELF. >> "FIX YOU A PLATE?" HE'S NOT EVEN MY SON. I DIDN'T TRUST HIM TO PUT THINGS ON A PLATE AND MICROWAVE IT. I HAD TO DO IT FOR HIM. >> A CUT IS UPON US. >> NO! NO. I WILL NEVER BE LOOK YOU. I WILL NEVER HAVE A CHUNKY HIGHLIGHT. >> WHAT IS IN MOTION, CANNOT BE UNDONE. SOON YOU WILL HAVE THE CUT. AND ALL OF YOUR TANK TOPS WILL SPROUT CAP SLEEVES, QUOTES WILL BE INSPIRATIONAL AND MAGNETS HILARIOUS. YOU WILL GO TO THE BEACH BUT ONLY SHOP. THE CUT. THE CUT. THE CUT. >> WELCOME, SISTER! >> AHHHH! OH, MY GOD. I LOVE THIS. I LOVE IT! AND YOU KNOW WHAT THIS ROOM NEEDS -- A BIG BOWL OF FAKE FRUIT. >> OOH, YES. >> YEAH. OOH. >> HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY FROM "SNL."

Channel: Saturday Night Live

Views: 11,674,346

Rating: 4.8943176 out of 5

Keywords: SNL, Saturday Night Live, Season 41, Episode 1702, Brie Larson, Baby Shower, The Cut, Mom Haircut, Sasheer Zamata, Aidy Bryant, Vanessa Bayer, Cecily Strong, Leslie Jones, Kate McKinnon, brie larson, brie larson snl, snl brie larson, alicia keys, snl alicia keys, snl musical guest alicia keys, room, best actress, academy awards, grammy winner, live, new york, funny, comedy, mom, mother's day, baby shower, mother, happy mother's day, due date, the cut, haircut

Id: Zh75XWRaugg

Length: 4min 56sec (296 seconds)

Published: Sun May 08 2016

Reddit Comments

[u/Ztanica]

THE CUT! Have you heard about the cut?!

[u/Whayne_Kerr]

I remember when SNL was funny. A long, long time ago.

[u/jeremiahthedamned]

that was scary!