- How far along are you, Teresa? You look like
you're about to pop. - We think two months.
We haven't been keeping count. - What? - Oh, we don't really know
how it works, and we don't believe
in doctors. We're just kind of winging it. - Cool. - Okay, everybody, let's get
this baby shower started. Okay, so I've got paper and pens so we can play
some fun shower games. - Okay, so fun.
Where should I sit? I know I'm not invited. I don't want to like, like,
make everybody annoyed. - No, she can sit
next to me, right? She's my best friend.
- Prime real estate. - It's okay that I brought
Jessie, right? - Yeah, I guess
I didn't say not to do it, so... - Okay, good, I just like,
don't want to take away from your day or whatever. - So, uh, how do you two know
each other? - Oh, she bartends at the bar
I spend all my nights in. - Yeah. We became best friends. - Yeah, Jessie
totally has my back. - Because she used to order,
like, rail vodka, and I was like, uh... both:
Absolut. Hello, right? - Okay.
[giggles awkwardly] Well, why don't you start
opening your gifts? - Okay, all right. Oh, the wrapping is so cute. - Oh, wait, wait, wait,
I want to take a picture. Let me get my purse. - Wait, hold on,
she's getting her purse. - Jessie, my purse is gone. - What? What do you mean, your
purse is, like, completely gone? - Yeah. - Okay, so someone took it. - Well, I don't know. - No, I'm sure no one took it. - No, if it's not there,
then, yeah, someone took it. - Can she open her present now? - Did someone move my purse? - No, someone took it. You don't move a purse,
you take it. - What? - You guys, everything's fine. I'm not mad.
Just please tell me where it is. - And then maybe explain
why you took it, because, like,
she deserves answers. - Well, I'm sure
it's here somewhere. - Then where is it? Where?
- Okay, don't freak out. Nobody's leaving here, and if it turns out that one
of them took it, they will pay. Does that sound okay
with everybody? Is that cool? - No one took your purse. - Okay, can someone write down that she just said that
in case we need it? - I just want my purse. - It's here somewhere.
I know it's here. - You know what? Let's just play a baby shower
game and have some fun. - Fine, I'll shut the hell up. - No, like, your friends
are ridiculous right now. - Okay,
so everybody take a marker and write down a baby name. And then Teresa has to guess
who wrote what name. - This is fun.
This'll be great. - This is great. - Okay, Teresa, pick one. - Okay, okay. - Should have done it faster. - First name is
"Did you take my purse?" Are you serious?
- Yes, answer the question. - [crying] Guys, please,
my purse has everything in it. Just give me my purse. - What was in there, sweetie?
Tell them what's in your purse. - My parents' address
and information, my passport, and I'm going
to Mexico in a month, my UTI medicine, and my heartburn pills. - No, keep going. Tell them
what they took from you. - My phone charger
and my sunglasses and my NARS lip gloss. - Your NARS?
Wait. They took your NARS? - Yes, they took it
and all of everything else. - You know what?
I can't stand this. God damn you people! Everybody get up!
Get up! I don't care
that you're pregnant! Get up! - What are you doing? - Look, I don't care
if you guys like me. - What are you doing? - I'm never going to see
any of you again. I don't care if you think
I'm a bitch, because I won't see you
unless you come into my bar. And if you come in and you don't
tip 20%, guess what. Your ass is getting kicked out! - Wait.
Is that your purse, right under where your friend
was sitting? - Oh, my God, check it.
Is that your purse? - Ugh. This is it.
- Wait. Make sure everything's in it, because if even one thing
is missing, like, I'm calling the police. - It's all here. - Oh, my God.
Good! - I'm, like, shaking. - Okay, so you guys clean up. I'm going to use
the upstairs bathroom, and then let's get this shower
back on track. - Whoo-whoo! [cheers and applause]
