Absurd Trolley Problems

welcome to the absurd trolley problems this is a website that gives you increasingly absurd trolley problems which is exactly what i've always wanted in the past i've actually wanted to go down the rabbit hole of just how crazy these can be because they are very funny lixian give an example of a very funny one that was hilarious it would really be bad if that comes later in this particular website and you spoil the ending for them but it's also good to be able to give them a teaser because in the first few seconds of any youtube video you need to hook your audience and make sure that they stay because the content is worth it right so standard oh no a trolley is heading i like the way they're screaming i don't like the way they're screaming that would suggest that i'm a bad person which i'm not which the trolley problem will prove i'm not a bad guy i didn't tie them to the track they just happened to be there and screaming in an entertaining way make sense perfect oh no a trolley is heading towards five people you can pull the lever to divert it to the other track killing one person instead what do you do this is standard you pull the lever the lives of the many over the lives of the few the no the lives of the many over the lives the light pull the lever [Music] it's black nice 78 of people agree with you 22 disagree that's a lot of votes level two oh no a trolley is heading towards five people you can pull the lever to divert it to the other track killing four people instead what do you do all right interesting is it really a lives of the many over the lives of the few i think at this point you wash your hands of it you walk it away you walk away from it you don't walk it away you walk away from it you don't want that on your conscience besides well besides nothing i'm just going to do nothing splat 33 percent of people agree with you 67 disagree well i wonder why oh no a trolley is heading towards five people you can pull the levered at averted it's the other track but your life savings will be destroyed what do you do i guess i divert it it's just money and honestly like even if a trolley hits it it's gonna scatter it about and they're tied down so they can't run after it so i guess i'll pull the lever 70 30 disagree you greedy bastards oh no a trolley is heading towards five people you can pull the lever to divert it to the other track sacrificing yourself instead what do you do trick question i'm well i i guess it says i can pull the lever but i would make a big show of not being oh no i can't pull it oh man if only the bad guy with the big mustache and pop hat had tied me to the other track instead oh no but i do have a hero complex and i do kind of want to see what my body can take i'm not a masochist but you know i i have a funny feeling you know i'm pretty strong what i would do i'm guessing i grab it with my teeth is as it's getting to the junction i would wiggle it violently back and forth hoping to derail the train and thus killing everybody inside of it if there are anybody inside of it i guess it would be driving it i do kind of i bet i could take a tram i bet i could take a trolley i bet i could i bet how about i bet [Music] 39 of people agree with you 61 disagree well you know it's just this i could beat a trolley oh no trolley is heading towards five people you can pull the lever to divert it to the other track but then the original copy of the whatever [ __ ] pull that lever who cares 86 percent of 14 disagree 14 just want to kill people oh no a trolley is heading towards a rich man the rich man offers you 500 000 to pull the lever which would divert the trolley to kill someone else what would you do hey buddy hey what's your offer what's your offer [Music] what's your offer now destiny is calling me open up my eagle eyes all right i didn't do nothing i didn't do nothing man i i couldn't get to it in time i froze up oh no what a trolley is heading towards five lobsters you can pull the lever to divert it to the other track running over a cat instead what do you do well i mean i feel like the cat could get out of the way but sorry lobsters there's nothing i can do about it oh no a trolley is heading towards five people who are sleeping and won't feel pain you can pull the lever to divert it to the other track running over someone who is wide awake [Music] that's the i'm gonna pull the lever because this way as i shout needs of the many are beneath the few he would be able to hear me when i say it and my my righteousness would burn through his consciousness right before the trolley did oh no a trolley is heading towards five people who tied themselves to the track you can pull the lever to divert it to the other track killing one person who accidentally tripped onto the track what do you do they're so happy they tied themselves to the track i mean that's that's they're doing i guess hey look they tied themselves there's nothing i could do about it oh no charlie said yours five people the lever just speeds up the trolley which might make us less painful what do you do uh sure pull the lever let's get some screws 68 of people agree with you at least i tried oh no a trolley is heading towards one guy you can pull the lever to divert it to you the other track but then your amazon package will be late what do you do i'm guessing he's the unfortunate employee so if i divert it he won't have to work there or if i don't divert it now whatever hold the lever i guess i guess my amazon package oh no a trolley is heading towards your best friend you can pull the lever to divert it to the other track killing five strangers instead what do you do oh that's a toughie yeah i'd pull the i'd pull the lever right i would do it [Music] that's a toughy though that is a toughy oh no a trolley is heading towards five people you can pull the lever to divert it to the other track killing one person instead at least that's what you think is happening you forgot your glasses and can't see that well what do you do ha joke's on you i got smile my eyes are perfect now i don't even need glasses i'm pulling the lever that probably 50 50 wow that's pretty good oh no a trolley is heading towards one of your first cousins you can pull the lever to divert the other track killing three of her second cousins instead what do you do i don't know i don't even know a second oh what a second cousin i have no idea sorry first cousin needs are the many versus the needs of the few [Music] bye first cousin bye cuz oh no trolley is heading towards five elderly people you can pull the lever to divert it to the other direct running over the baby instead what do you do [Music] they were on the way out anyway oh no trolley is uh barreling towards five identical clones of you you can pull the lever to divert it to the other track sacrificing yourself instead what do you do well if one of me can take on a trolley i mean you know this they're my clones this this is what they want this is what they would want they all get to be a hero we'd all be shouting oh no let me take it no let me take it no let me take it oh no no let me take it oh i'll take this one that's what it'd be all right goodbye clones oh no a trolley is heading towards a mystery box with a 50 chance of gaining containing two people you can pull the lever to divert it to the other track hitting a mystery box with a 15 chance of 10 people what do you do does that mean that 50 chance there's no one in there i'll take the 10 that seems that seems ideal i oh it's probably fine probably fine oh no a trolley is heading towards five sentient robots you can pull the lever to divert to the other track killing one human instead what do you do well i feel like this is such a revelation and having sentient robots there i've got i really hope they're sentient it's not that thing with the google ai where people were like it's sentient only there's no way but if this is actually sentient robots i feel like it's important to preserve them for the technological advances that they would do bye humi bam oh really interesting only 17 i feel like it would be infinitely more valuable if we're talking about like for humanity's sake to keep these sentient robots alive it didn't say anything about them being killer robots but they're sentient which is an incredible advancement in technology and we need to keep them alive oh no charlie's heading you can pull the lever to divert it hitting one ep i guess i pull the lever i don't know sure all right oh no trolley is releasing 100 kilograms of co2 per year which will kill five people over 30 years you can pull the lever to divert it to the other track hitting a brick wall and decommissioning the trolley what do you do buy trolley i guess makes sense oh no your reincarnated being will eventually be reincarnated as every person in the classic trolley problem what do you do [Music] well they're all me so i guess i blever oh no a trolley's heading towards nothing but you kind of want to prank the trolley driver get pranked you got pranked oh no a trolley is heading towards a good citizen you can pull the lever to divert it running over someone who litters instead what do you do should have gotten more social points in our our social credit system you bad citizen take this in your litter i crushed the litter too so if you think about it i'm actually a hero oh no due to a construction error trolley is stuck in an eternal loop if you pull the leopard the trolley will explode if you don't the trolley and his passengers will go into the circles for eternity what do you do for eternity and their torment end it also kaboom i guess i don't know why they couldn't hop off but [Music] ah really no way oh no a trolley is heading towards your worst enemy you can pull the lever to divert the trolley and save them or you can do nothing and no one will ever know who has who has enemies this is what i asked about in the test right who has enemies who has a worst enemy whatever pull the lever doesn't matter unless oh no a trolley is heading towards a person with a lower life span by 50 years you can pull the tr lever to divert the trolley and lower oh towards the person and will lower their lifespan by 50 years you can pull the lever to divert the trolley and lower the lifespan of five people by 10 years instead what do you do well i mean by 50 years that'll probably just kill him anyway how long were you going to live 10 years whatever people do enough reckless [ __ ] and unhealthy habits that those 10 years were never there to begin with oh no a trolley is heading towards five people you can pull the lever to divert it from the other track sending the trolley into the future to kill five people ten hundred years from now what do you do well that's a future me problem i don't actually it's not even a future me problem that's a look i'm a hero for the next hundred years pull the lever also that's awesome oh no a trolley problem is playing out before you do you actually have a choice in this situation or has everything been predetermined since the universe began i have a choice i have a choice in that i don't but i do but i have a choice because i choose to believe that i have a choice even if it was predetermined then i choosey that thing it don't matter because my free will dictates that i have a choice even if you think i don't have a choice that was a choice to make that choice that i don't have a choice because it was my choice i have choice oh congratulations you have solved philosophy kill count 55 solved philosophy i did it i'm the best that was very fun i wish there was more i wish they got funnier there's some really funny trolley problems can i look up some hilarious trolley problems oh my god there's a subreddit called trolley memes hold on top give me all time hidden is trolley problem trek is heading towards b if you pull the lever it'll switch to a but it won't do the totally sick loop you either do nothing and five people will die or you can pull the lever and no one will die however that would mean you have to move uh there is no dire emergency do you accept your duty to return the card even though you gave nothing god if you can't do this you don't belong that's a bad citizen right there if you don't return your cart after shopping you are a bad citizen i don't care you're a bad citizen if you do nothing nobody will get hurt however you are born you are a born lever puller do you believe i was born for this oh my god that's great that's great billionaire's trolley dilemma you could either save you could save either group or you can be the first trolley in space while running over both groups [Laughter] oh wow [Laughter] well anyway that's absurd trolley problems if you want to play this for yourself and have different answers it's neil dot fun slash absurd dash trolley dash problem slash go find it out for yourself so that's all for me thank you you have trolley problem in front of you [Music] you

Channel: Markiplier

Views: 4,992,485

Keywords: markiplier, trolley problems, absurd trolley problems, trolley memes, funny, reactions, decisions, choices

Id: upjoSSwGYDo

Length: 14min 39sec (879 seconds)

Published: Sat Jul 23 2022