Do you have any plans for the weekend? Nothing in particular Except I'm gonna be starting the day with a bad cup of coffee A bad cup? -I have this awful coffee machine Terrible It's really old Actually, it's always been bad -Then maybe you're not using it right
-Oh really? I could-- I could come and take a look at it for you, if you like -Yeah, might be quite an easy fix. I mean, I'd have to look something up on the way -Oh! On Google?
-Yeah! Look up a few bits and pieces Or maybe You could, um, pretend you're going to fix the coffee machine -And when you get there You make a move on me And I say no, but you do it anyway -I-- I do it anyway?
-You uh... make me do it with you Why would I do that? -Can I get you two anything else? Maybe some coffees? -Not-- not right now, thanks Look, I get you're not into it But there is nothing wrong with having a fantasy. -I don't want to rape you!
-It's a normal--
-It's not! -It's a normal everyday fantasy that lots of women have
-I can't believe you're asking me to... Oh God, were you-- Were you-- Raped yourself? Is that what this is about to reclaim it or something? -That's a pretty personal question
-In case you guys have changed your mind We have some great artisanal blends When I was little, in Italy Every summer we'd go to the seaside, and I had a friend Like, best friend -And, we'd play a game Called "Man and Woman" And, you know... We'd take turns, because we're both girls But obviously we both wanted to be the woman -And the man would Drag her around and make her do stuff Yeah, and she'd be trying to get away but never could Because he was stronger than her obviously and then... And then they'd they fall in love and then we swap That's a real insight into girls, I-- I would have been at the other end of the beach pretending to be Optimus Prime Aren't you worried about getting hurt? -I have a contract
-What? You-- What? You just happen to have a contract? Now? here? -Oh, well, I thought just in case
-What, just-- Just in case we got on and And you thought it might be nice if I raped you -Do you consider that carrying a-- A rape contract around it in your bag might be something of a security risk? Then I wouldn't use my real signature Ah! Clearly you thought this through -Oh you wrote this yourself -You're going to give me some legal advice now? It's the least I can do Considering I'm going to be dining out on the story of this date for the rest of my life -"I, Anna Cavalli, give my consent for the undersigned" -- no space "To rape me at any time within the next 24 hours." 24 hours? Maybe he could Follow me or break into my flat Well, then I think you'd better have a "breaking into the flat" clause. A rape may include The rapist breaking into the victim's flat. All costs arising from damages occasioned by the break-in Is to be split evenly between the rapist and the victim -Victim provides an inventory of a full contents of the flat together with their exact condition-- Wait, what? Some innocent guy who thinks he's just signed up for a pleasant rape. Next thing he knows -He's paying for the flat screen TV, he broke last week
-That wouldn't happen -Unfortunately this is the real difference between fantasy and reality So a hotel would be better? Then you've got third-party issues Breakages again, noise And there's what you're proposing is of questionable legality -It's completely legal!
-If there wasn't a gray area, you wouldn't need a contract -Well frankly any decent lawyer could have this contract thrown out of court anyway -Even after you've written it? Unfortunately, yes -What about going to his place?
-No that's the same issues as your place -Then where? -The street?
-Oh surely that would make it illegal Yes, but then you and the other party are entering into it on an equal footing and in full cognizance of the law You think there's something Exciting about Doing it in the street? Fear of getting caught? You think fucking the street is exciting Sure Then put that down "In the streets" "The rape shall be defined as follows: an act or series of acts of sexual coercion carried out by the rapist within the aforementioned" "24-hour period. The rape can be stopped at any time by either party saying the word-- " "Éclair" -Your safe word is "Éclair"?
-I was hungry when I wrote that Seriously though, what if you lose consciousness? -Then you can't say "Éclair." You can't say anything -Can he just carry on?
-No, of course not Well then, you need to say that in the contract And if you're, um... If you're gagged? I could knock. Three times-- Bound and gagged. Arms and legs No knocking, no stamping, and he's blindfolded you so you can't blink, and he's fucking you from behind -So he can't even see your face--
-What about those coffees? -Yeah, sure, um...
-What type of coffee would you like? -Anything.
-Okay, and for-- -She doesn't want one
-Okay -I don't suppose. There's any other -Scenarios that the contract should cover Scenarios? Like um... Say you were to call the waitress over now and Settle our bill, and I leave first and you follow me I turn around and smile at you But you're not smiling You put your hand over my mouth and push me down the alley. You saw, there was an alley beside the restaurant Yes -You push me far enough down the alley so no one will see us You shove me right up against the wall, so the brick is rough against my face -You keep your hand over my mouth, so no one will hear me scream Then what? Hah, you see? You want to know what happens This isn't fair -Why not?
-Because you're allowed to want whatever you want It's just a game for you If I want to do it, what does that make me? Somebody who wants to hurt women -To force them -But you wouldn't be forcing me, I'd have signed a contract No, wait If I'd turn up tonight and said, "Hi, I'm Leo" "It was fun chatting with you at Garden Summers. By the way, I've always wanted to rape a stranger" "Do you want to do it? Don't worry, it's only a fantasy," what would you have said? -That's different
-How? -What would you have said? I probably would have said no You only want to do it with someone who doesn't want to do it You only don't want to do it because you don't think you should But if you sign You can choose any time within the next 24 hours Just sign it This is my address I don't have time to have an inventory made, but if you're so worried about the flat-screen TV -We can do it in the garden I'm not so worried about the flat screen TV I'll, um... I'll leave it with you We haven't paid Oh no, don't worry, I've got it Right, then Bye
