What's wrong, you pathetic, sad, procrastinating Dungeon Master? Can't come up with a worthwhile and interesting combat
encounter and you only have half an hour before the session because you spent the last week fascinating about a
totally different campaign you wish to run one day but ultimately know you never will because you're in a
constant state of prep work and insecurity? That's okay, everybody knows no matter how basic the
combat is, it's going to take forever anyway, thanks to any spellcasters and people on their phones and is mostly just a chance for the DM to stall for time
while they figure out the next story beats. That, and an excuse to show off whatever
art of the thing the players are fighting that the DM paid three grand in commissions
or miniatures to make for them, or you could just grab whatever the
nearest thing on your shelf is and say "Fuck it, we're fighting this little bastard today." Welcome to A Crap Guide to D&D. [jaunty lute tune] Goblins are one of the most iconic
creatures in Dungeons & Dragons, famous for being low and mid level cannon fodder, having the respawn rate of a seahorse playing Call of Duty and being overall superior to Kobolds in every way. Goblins are what you default to when you have
no idea what the party should be fighting because they're just so splattered all over the realm that
everyone just accepts that they can show up anywhere. Alright, I got myself some milk and cookies for some hunts, so I open the fridge and put milk back where it went and close the fridge and go get my milk GOD JESUS WHAT THE FUCK Goblins were originally created by the
Hobgoblins who one day got really lazy and decided to make a generation of poor saps
that they could shove all their baggage onto and then blame for when the economy
they don't have a say in gets destroyed. This has sort of evolved into how Goblins mostly live
in tribes, where the biggest asshole is the leader and everybody else is just sort of used to
being treated as poorly as a retail worker. That's not to say all Goblins
are meek little green Muppets. Given enough size and numbers and time to prepare an ambush, and even the most basic goblin squads can turn an 8th level party into the
aftermath of eating at White Castle. This is because Goblins are a culture constantly
raiding like they're trying to get world first [LEEROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOY!!!]
This is because Goblins are a culture constantly
raiding like they're trying to get world first [LEEROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOY!!!]
and have a knack for throwing themselves at the first thing they see that looks like they could potentially bite its ear off. and have a knack for throwing themselves at the first thing they see that looks like they could potentially bite its ear off. They're also somewhat smart! Leaders of goblin tribes consistently placing
first in tournaments of Connect Four and the race as a whole frequently mounting and
fighting alongside creatures such as Worgs, which are oversized wolves that are perpetually
angry as people keep stealing their art off Instagram. If you ever decide to play as a Goblin, you receive a little bit of DEX and CON from being agile and resilient little gremlins and the ability to quickly pussy out of combat like you're
at a friend's house and the parents started arguing, and Fury of the Small, where you get to punch below the belt
and make the enemy's voice go up as many octaves as your player level. Now that's the general idea of what Goblins
are supposed to be in the Forgotten Realms, but this is D&D, which means everybody breaks
the rules more than an episode of Yu-Gi-Oh, and the fact that goblins are so adaptable
to so many situations and environments means that there's no limit to how they can
be portrayed or what they can be used for. You can make them mindless monsters that
fill the last few empty rooms of a dungeon, or adorable little scamps that the party
will adopt the instant they see them, or design them so unexpectedly attractive that it'll make people question if they discovered a new fetish, or if it was there all along and this was just its awakening. You too can throw an endless supply of XP at your party while giving them conflicting feelings on stomping on an innocent little cutie pie that was just minding its own business
and just wanted a widdle bit of love. ^3^ Isn't that right, you sweety potato- ^3^ OW SON OF A BITCH And now you know how to use Goblins. BOOYAHG
I didn't expect a softcore goblin montage to be in this video, but you know what? That's on me. It's become pretty standard.
How dare he judge my DM prep methods
I love how he said in the comments a big part of it was to sell his plushie. I love Jocat, most truthful bard.
I don't think I've ever felt more targeted than those opening lines.
“and being overall superior to Kobolds in every way.”
You talking mad shit for someone in fireball distance.
I need to make a call to r/KoboldLegion headquarter, we are not gonna let that pass
How dare he. Kobolds are way better for when your players have pissed you off so much that instead of just ending the campaign and finding a new group you decide to go off with a bang and dust off an old book from the 80s called "Grimtooth's Traps".
I love JoCat's content; and while the original DnD classes content was certainly an extension of the MHW weapons videos, these extra ones feel like expert level marketing by WotC.
I love the videos though.
I fucking love jocat