My Girlfriend is Kinda Odd

you know how when people get into a new  relationship they go through a honeymoon   phase well me and my girlfriend went through uh  is the person i'm dating a deranged murderer phase   when she first came over to my house she thought  my nintendo figure collection was something only a   psychopath would have and she's right  when you've been living alone for so long   sometimes you just need to buy friends and put  them on display and sometimes you do this by   turning people into lampshades or chairs luckily  i just collect hunky reptile figures gif doesn't   actually think i'm a psychopath anymore which is  good you know because i don't want anyone to know   the truth however early on in our relationship  there were some things i did that she didn't like   like one time i was unloading the dishwasher and i  was putting away the knives and gift looked at me   all concerned and i asked what's the matter huh i  don't know what made her run to the other side of   the room like that when i could clearly just throw  the knife at her yeah she's kind of stupid but she   definitely got her point across that she didn't  like me holding multiple knives and told me to cut   it out but i didn't know if she was a psychopath  either though because there are definitely some   things about her that made me question her  sanity like how she owns a two thousand dollar   animal mascot costume but she hates sports that's  weird one time when i was over at her apartment i   was looking through her freezer assuming she had  bagel bites and i asked hey babe uh where's all   the bagel bites and there was this plastic grocery  bag in there and she tells me no no don't look in   there we don't have any bagel bites you ate them  all remember but in my mind all i'm thinking is   hold on what the frick does this chick have in her  freezer that she doesn't want me to see a freezer   is not a place where you tell someone don't look  in there you say that about underwear drawers and   toilets that's it i don't know what we did for the  next 10 minutes cause all i was thinking about was   how many severed hands were in gif's freezer  but then i thought okay maybe i'm overreacting   i optimistically asked hey um babe are you um  perhaps keeping a surprise for me in the freezer   like a birthday cake my birthday's not for  another five months but that's the only thing i   could think a person would hide in a freezer that  wouldn't make them a psychopath and she said nope so what's in there don't worry about it do  you not see how this looks if the doors were   unlocked i would have been out of there i  wasn't about to lose sleep over this so i   held up the knife i had from the previous joke  and said what's in the freezer and she went it's a dead snake you had a dead snake next to  the bagel bites so fun fact about my gif she owns   eight snakes apparently she used to own nine i've  learned that snakes are a very low maintenance pet   you only have to feed them once every three  years and if you cut them in half they turn   into two snakes yeah so i have no clue how one of  her snakes could have died and another fun fact   snakes lack the part of the brain that feels love  they're physically incapable of showing affection   so your pet hognose would sell your soul to snake  satan for one dead mouse so she already has eight   pets that don't love her and potentially her  boyfriend too if she doesn't get rid of that   freezer snake at least my reptiles aren't dead  in a freezer i immediately start asking questions   why do you have a dead snake in your freezer how  many other dead animals are in your freezer what   the heck's wrong with you and she said i wanted  to get him taxidermied but the person i wanted   to have do it was busy also there's dead rats in  there for my snakes well that explains why the   bagel bites tasted so funny what's extremely gross  is that the snake is still in there to this day i   don't know how long the snake was in there before  but it's been well over a year since that incident   it's honestly great though because now she can  never complain about the state of my refrigerator   i'll have potatoes that are sprouting more  potatoes grapes that are getting me tipsy   and if she points any of it out i just respond  with oh you think my refrigerator is disgusting   yeah medusa uh-huh one time she said ah my fridge  smells terrible and i don't know why really you   can't think of a single reason she said no  i said the fridge smells bad not the freezer   i said i will flush your snake down the toilet  and give you a swirly now that's the sign of true   love kids but for all i know she could totally  still have severed hands in there after dealing   with the snakesicle situation there's some other  things i've learned from being in a relationship   apparently there are rules and etiquettes when  eating food and my girlfriend sure does love   and enforce those rules i was taught don't put  your elbows on the table close your mouth when   you're chewing unless you want to talk to someone  and make sure you eat something green every once   in a while but according to her there's more than  that like did you know that bagel bites aren't a   part of a balanced diet we were at a restaurant  one time pre-covered and when we got our food   gift took a napkin and put it on our lap and  told me to do that as well because you're   supposed to do that in a society i looked around  the restaurant and said but no one else has a   napkin on their laps and she said that's because  she wanted to eat at a denny's i didn't know why   she was such a stickler for table manners until i  went to her family's place for thanksgiving and i   stepped inside and saw two sets of staircases in  their house and it all made sense oh they're fancy   and collect staircases going to my girlfriend's  home for thanksgiving was the first time i met   a partner's parents and i tried really really  hard to get them to like me because i'm kissing   their firstborn child i'm in the house  dad's watching sports i love sports i lied   mom's working on a puzzle i love puzzles they  used to call me the puzzle king in high school   her brother's playing mario odyssey i love  mario oh wait i don't have to impress you   stuck at this game in an effort to get them to  like me more i brought a gift for gif's family   i got them a little baby cactus because it's  small and prickly and doesn't like to be touched   just like her ow babe no no babe it was a joke  it was a joke babe gif's thanksgiving meal was   the polar opposite of my family's thanksgiving my  family does thanksgiving with two other families   and they all come together with mashed potatoes  and everyone gets in a line with paper plates and   we all have one big mashed potato potluck then  i sit at the kids table to avoid talking about   politics gif's family used real plates and had  candles and everyone puts a napkin on their lap   i felt like shrek at fiona's castle they had three  forks of various sizes but i still wanted them to   like me so i wasn't about to point out that it  made no sense to use three different forks to   eat a meal this must be why gif is so afraid of  knives all these cutlery options are bringing up   childhood traumas of going up all the stairs but  gif's family was so fancy that i actually didn't   even meet them on thanksgiving my memory just  filled in that we were having a thanksgiving meal   gift read this script and was like you know you  didn't meet them on thanksgiving right that was   just a regular tuesday brunch that wasn't even a  meal to be thankful for why we talk about politics   so much one of the big political debates we have  is that gift tells me i wear dad socks but i don't   think she understands my genius you see if i buy  and wear the same pair of socks for the rest of my   life i'll never have to worry about matching socks  ever again so i've already picked out the socks   that i'm going to be wearing at my funeral and as  we were wrapping up our non-thankful meal i got up   from the table and gif's dad said hey i have those  socks so i guess she's right about some things and   her dad totally likes me now in the end as long  as i make gif happy then i know her parents will   like me no matter what socks i wear and as long as  you're with someone who makes you a happier person   then they're a good partner too even if they  refuse to throw away the dead snake they've had   in their freezer for almost three years well  hello everyone i know it's been a while but i   hope you all enjoyed this video there were lots of  things to learn in my first serious relationship   and if you have any advice for being in your  first serious relationship then let me know   in the comments i'm sure me and a bunch of other  commenters will find that helpful fun fact gif and   i wrote this video together so if you didn't like  it um that's unheard oh i'm just kidding i'm just   kidding i don't want to end up in the freezer huge  thanks to my amazing team for once again bringing   these animated anecdotes to life i couldn't  have made this video without them and on top of   this thank you all for supporting cafe chaos on  kickstarter we sincerely appreciate all of your   excitement we have finally sent out pre-orders  and if you didn't get the chance to support the   kickstarter you can now find all the items on my  online store link in the description we do have   some extra kickstarter exclusives available such  as the bento box or the animated expansion pack   be sure to grab them soon because once they're  gone they're gone forever thank you again for   watching this video and make sure that you and  your partner wear your masks and your seatbelt

Channel: TheOdd1sOut

Views: 30,080,029

Keywords:

Id: BxWw8AO4ZmI

Length: 8min 38sec (518 seconds)

Published: Sun Jun 27 2021

Reddit Comments

[u/aarocka]

First half of the video is about snakes

[u/Charming-Yellow378]

There’s so much misinformation about snakes and just promotes the fear of them.