A Crap Guide to D&D [5th Edition] - Monk

[Drawing sounds] [Distant shouting, slowly grows louder]wwwwwwWWWWWWWWAAAA HI-YAH!!! [JoCat] Why... [JoCrap] Because, bitch, you were taking too long! Welcome to a Crap Guide to D&D! (jaunty lute music) Fighting is like a science and can be used for either side of the moral spectrum. It can be used for evil like punctuating arguments, expressing a salty loss, and beating up nerds or it can be used for good like self-defense, artistic expression, and beating up nerds. And monks are those who have trained heavily in the nerd-beating up science of Mixed Martial Arts. Forgoing any sort of traditional filthy weapon proficiencies and instead opting for wanting to Punch, Bam, Boom, Slam, Kick Punch stuff! You start with no armor because, like a barbarian, you have the ability to deflect and dodge attacks with the power of your unconstrained birthday suit. But, unlike barbarian, You don't have to rely on the pathetic material world to explodify goblins: You have your knuckles. Martial arts training means you can serve up extra Punchables for the bad guys as a bonus action so no matter how you're doing as momma said you'll be dishing out more pain induced fistings than two lesbians who considered watching porn as a reasonable substitute for sex-ed. But it's not all coochie destruction; The monk is a slippery piece of work who's really good at avoiding any oncoming fistings like a millennial trying to get their life together avoids self-care by catching them if their a fist projectile or dodging out of the way if it's an area of fists. As you grow stronger, you can translate a fist if it's punching in a different language and avoid any infections if the fister forgot to take a shower that night. As a monk your shtick is the "Ki" feature but since I can't come up with any way to make this section much funnier and also because "khee" translates to "poop" in Thai, that's how I'm going to refer to it from now on. You gain more and more poop as you level up and you can spend your poopy points on various skills to do all sorts of things like stun people, reroll saves, mask yourself and turn invisible, and any other number of crazy things based on which anime you want to imitate. I would recommend Kensei so you could use the dual wield chainsaw shotgun laser earrings if it weren't for the fact that every other archetype was just cooler in every way , wearing fancy outfits and taking the time to actually learn how to fist properly. Oh, man, what a tough decision. Do I want to use a pokey stick or do I wanna fire Hadoukens and Kamehameha blasts? What an enticing decision, I'm really gonna have to think about- ♫ DON'T STOP! DON'T STOP! WE'RE IN LUCK NOW!! ♫ And now you know how to play Monk. You're welcome. [Jaunty lute outro]

Channel: JoCat

Views: 6,088,115

Keywords: dnd, dungeonsanddragons, dungeons and dragons, animated, animatic, storyboard, story, storytime animation, storytime, dnd story, guide, crap guide, hijek, jocat, satire, funny, monk

Id: 1CZDGFFHnI4

Length: 2min 10sec (130 seconds)

Published: Tue Jan 22 2019