It's too cold outside, what shadowy hints of my easy-to-miss social life is dying And I also want to argue about how pop culture characters fit into alignment charts, So it's time to make like a bunch of famous voice actors and Dungeon some Dragons. Odds are, plenty of you dorkbags have heard of the hobby but have as little understanding about how it works as anyone over sixty has about being content with living as a single childless adult who doesn't care about where they live so long as it's a roof over their head and the neighbors don't shout out racial slurs. ...Unless it's at half-elves, the filthy knife-eared mongrel mutts So print out some character sheets, go shopping for some loaded dice, pack some expired snacks, call up all those friends you can only tolerate, and put on your favorite wizarding hat. It's time to do some motherfucking role-playing! Welcome to A Crap Guide at D&D! (Jaunty lute tune) Do you like hitting things? What am I saying, of course you do. Everybody does. Everybody does. I most certainly do. Everybody does. I most certainly do. All the time. Everybody does. I most certainly do. All the time. Like now. HRGNGH!!
(CRASH) And hitting things is the best thing about D&D. You can hit literally anything you want. Better yet, you can hit it with a big fuck-off axe while flying into a bloodthirsty rage so potent you could be forgiven for mistaking it for some kind of Super-Rabies. The Barbarian is the best class for hitting everything and everyone hard enough they explode into a huge puff of confetti or a shower of blood and organs. What's the difference? They're pretty much the same thing. You get a d12 for your hit die, one of the only times you'll ever use a d12 but it does mean you'll be soaking up hits better than my pillow soaks up tears after I take a look in the mirror for a few seconds. You start with just about every important combat proficiency and any weapon of your choice and if you're taking recommendations I highly suggest going for the dual-wield the dual-wield Chainsaw the dual-wield Chainsaw Shotgun the dual-wield Chainsaw Shotgun Laser the dual-wield Chainsaw Shotgun Laser Earrings the dual-wield Chainsaw Shotgun Laser Earrings with detachable missile launchers the dual-wield Chainsaw Shotgun Laser Earrings with detachable missile launchers and drink dispensers. ...Ooh, and they have built-in cupholders, look at that. No tool proficiencies, but who cares? Nobody uses tools, anyway. You pick them to add to your character for backstory purposes and then forget they exist because you only ever roll for skill checks anyway, you lazy, you lazy, thoughtless you lazy, thoughtless Gobble-Bright. Yes. I just made that up and it's what you are, you stinky Figel-Bitch. In fact who even needs armor? Your pure unadulterated chutzpah will block enemy blows better than even the shiniest of chain mail bikinis. Better yet, you have Spider Sense which assists in you avoiding traps, Better yet, you have Spider Sense which assists in you avoiding traps, spells, Better yet, you have Spider Sense which assists in you avoiding traps, spells, obligatory social events, Better yet, you have Spider Sense which assists in you avoiding traps, spells, obligatory social events, and laundry. And of course the signature trait of the Bar-Bar is being able to enter a ferocious frenzy of force that foes will fear for all their fannies. During your rage, you may be easier to hit, but at the gain that you are better at hitting everything else and not just that, your muscles grow to the size of Crag-Face Garmoophies. (That's a made-up word!) I don't care that the things I'm using for analogies aren't real, Intelligence is a dumb stat anyway. That's why mine is the number that comes after three. And now you know how to play Barbarian. You're welcome. (The Jauntiest Lute tune)
Oh man, HIJEK's monster hunter videos were great - these seem like they'll be fun too.
Absolutely love that he's expanding into DnD now after his MHW series.
Am I missing something when he mentions that "you might be easier to hit while raging"? Is he simply referring to Reckless Attack and people having advantage against you? Or is there something I don't realize about it to lower your AC?
Yes, more content from the creators of such classics as:
Fun isn't something one considers when using the best weapon for hunting monsters. But this... does put a smile on my face.
The other weapons, they specialize, hoping to be able fill a niche that caters to the player's playstyle, leaving themselves open to weakness. But the sword and shield, it laughs, for it has NONE
It's time. Welcome to a crap transcription of a youtube video you should know already.
This is it, the big daddy, the alpha, the omega, the beginning of the end of every monster's career. The only reason every monster isn't extinct yet is because CAPCOM is sure to hold this beast back with a thousand locks and chains. It's the only weapon you will ever need because it's the only one that matters. It does everything every other weapon does 50 times better. And then some. And I do mean EVERYTHING.
It's got a charge-up to hit the weakpoint for MASSIVE damage.
Stunning the monster? BANG BANG, SIT THE FUCK DOWN!
Rapid combos? IN FUCKING SPADES!!
Aerial attacks? Mounting? Get that stupid cockroach toothpick shit outta here. QUELLE CONNASSE!!
Blocking ability? INDESTRUCTIBLE!!
And don't even get me started on elemental damage, better start collecting swords of all the elements, 'cause you're gonna be exploiting the ever living FUCK out of those weaknesses.
You wanna talk ailments? I've got ailments!
Poison? OUT THE ASS!
Paralysis? OH NO, YOU AIN'T GOING NOWHERE!
Sleep? NIGHTY NIGHT YOU FAT LIZARD SHIT!
Blast? YOU BET YOUR FUCKING TITS!
And this isn't even mentioning the fact that you can use items while it's unsheathed, which means you have sonic-speed access to the whole of your inventory, effectively meaning your congalala shit-load of an item box is basically your moveset! Which means you can do disgusting shit like placing one trap after another while simultaneously throwing out the never-ending laying of the definition of a SMACKDOWN.
And that includes... your ass-blasting slinger. Flash pods, screamer pods, shit-staining pods, all the pain-inducing ammo types dropped from the monsters themselves are available att the press of a button. No need to put your delicate plates away before playing with your toys like a bitch.
On top of this, CAPCOM made an addition to the game that unintentionally buffed the sword and shield to the mountains of TOO FUCKING STRONG.
The item wheel! You don't even need to spend twenty fucking minutes looking for the right shit anymore, just pull up the wheel and drink the gallons of inevitable wyvern tears.
Other weapons ain't got SHIT to the power of the sword and shield, KING OF THE HUNTING WEAPONS.
And I know you assholes are just dripping with gross excitement juices in anticipation to see me link the original pant-shittingly amazing combination from the video I transcribed this from. Well you best prepeare to shit your pants quite a few more times 'cause that's exactly what you're getting
I'm going to turn that video into a copypasta even if I have to post it a 1000 times
Up for MH Wiggler BOI!
Subscribed, I love the animation style and rapid-fire jokes. Keep it up!
Is that THE Sword and Shield man I see doing a DnD series now? I can't wait to watch this once I get off of work!
Ah hell yeah, starting the new series strong. Literally.
barbarian best class, i like big hammers and being a gnoll *starts eating a deer carcass*
Opens up reddit.com, sees this "A Crap Guide to D&D - Barbarian"? That sounds like the Crap Guide to Monster Hunter series, let's give it a look. Sees that is the same guy <insert Pikachu meme here>
Okay, joking aside, holy crap was I not expecting this! This is seriously amazing and I really wasn't expecting this to be the same guy that did the Crap Guide to Monster Hunter videos. I recently began my first campaign of D&D (currently a level 4 Paladin), so to see this suddenly happen makes me excited for all the classes to get such a video. Thanks for sharing this!