8 Worst Pick-Up Lines That Didn't Work and Probably Never Will

romancing someone in a videogame is usually no more complicated than winning enough tickets on skee-ball to buy yourself a novelty comb only instead of a naughty comb you own yourself a smoochie cutscene however it's not this easy for everyone all the time especially not when they're busting out chat up lines so cheesy they would embarrass James Bond because I wanted to ask you something which is what's your name Oh take a listen to these cringy pickup lines that didn't work probably never will and also beware some minor spoilers for these following games Oh governor Oh 3 foot Oh with Lane oh gosh love muffin sugar boots honey pumpkin bunny most of the time wannabe pirate hero guy brush three wood is pretty quick witted whether he's talking to dogs insulting other pirates in a sword fight you fight like a dairy farmer how appropriate you fight like a cow or insulting other pirates who are in jail you gotta get me outta here I'm a victim of society not to mention halitosis I'm starting to realize guy brush is a bit of a jerk Wow I'm gonna need a minute anywho the point is guy brush isn't often at a loss for words this is what makes his initial attempts to woo melee island governor Elaine Marley so unexpected I'm governor Molly governor Elaine Molly so my Idol belongs in a museum may well the loquacious sky brush is so flustered by the governor that not even one sentence into their first conversation all actual human words elude him to be replaced by random strings of consonants Bulls needless to say this doesn't go down super well with the governor who is a busy woman and doesn't have time to stand around being lifted out by a wannabe pirate well you're obviously not in the mood for idle chitchat are you hang on maybe guy brush can salvage this I'm going the to women guy brush does eventually regain the ability to say words but Elaine isn't letting him off easy that sounds like something my husband would say so that was the secret of monkey island the key lesson that we learned from the force awakens is that the most adorable shape for a robot to be is round comple we wasted all those years liking r2d2 the stupid trashcan idiot yeah you heard me so chalk up one advantage to the adventure sphere off of portal 2 who is as spherical as a British football and twice as manly the adventure sphere or Rick is a corrupted personality sphere that must be hooked up to tyrannical AI dimwit Wheatley in order to defeat him one more corruption at 50% but the macho adventure sphere would rather hook up with portal popping protagonist Chell Fanta its turns like this wish I had a waist we're all black beans pretty much everything current Lauren to do Jensen big bunch of built make it a condo bid yeah I'd rate his chances pretty low with that kind of black belt braggadocio the only smooth lines that guys got are the ones on his body smooth because it's a spear come on you get it what about that one oh she's beautiful okay then go talk to her just like that talk about what Ezio Auditore has a reputation as a ladies man on account of all the sakes he's always having in fact he's had so much practice that he can get his clothes back on in five seconds we count it I have to find Mario and rally the troops it's easy when all your clothes a tearaway stripper clothes however Ezio wasn't always the Renaissance Romeo we know from later in the games as we see from his initial attempt to woo Christina Vespucci in Assassin's Creed 2 oh because I wanted to ask you something which is what's your name not one you'll ever meet them if you thought okay notice strong starts what else you got at you respect that I wasn't ready I was planning on being really charming there's never a second chance how swing-and-a-miss quick gets here maybe you can still save this following other ways she leaves okay that's enough romance for you for today at you not to worry though because before long Ezio grows into his role as the Florentine love machine for comparison let's take a look at one of his chat up lines that actually worked miracle mean fine but only for a minute a minute this all I need indeed wait did you wrong oh wow dude good thing you've got those cheekbones [Music] character spiral is in range transmission sequence when it comes to making out with fellow crew members the fraternization policy aboard the Normandy is the same as the one in the ship's canteen help yourselves please clean up after combine that policy with Sheppard's track record for charming his or her way into the space pants of intelligent life all over the known galaxy and you might expect Shep to succeed with romantic overtures that would spell disaster to a lesser mortal and yet in Mass Effect one if you've been stringing along a couple of potential love interests for too long you wind up in less of a steamy love triangle and more of a heated confrontation triangle somebody in this room needs to make a choice it ain't me and it ain't you surely if anyone can successfully proposition two crewmates at the same time with a half-baked chat up line its commandership we're resolving this now Sheppard me or her why do I have to make a choice maybe the three of us could in your dreams commander I hope you two or however many you end up with will be happy together out Ashley Wow I guess come on to share butts gonna have to take that bumper sticker off the back of the old Normandy one that says if this ship's a rockin we're going through a mass relay or don't come a-knockin because of the stuff that's going on inside I don't care what you say shut your mouth shut it shut just keep it shut you know full well exactly what you didn't say it's no good well you can be surrounded but your young girls and your three thumbs and your parties and you will be miserable you could have had it all Mary Ann Quinn is one of those nuanced female characters that GTA v does so well in the cheese a cartoonishly furious exercise fanatic who hates all men well you and I don't care that we just met last week all right just stop looking at me don't look at me say something naturally Trevor is immediately smitten with Mary Ann and so he decides to convey that affection with the chariot pickup move of all time which is punching out Mary Ann's boyfriend and screaming in her face that he loves her love you I mean you and I can see why that approach didn't work but this is Trevor we're talking about no to win Mary Ann's love he needs to prove himself through a moderately taxing downhill cycle maybe done with this I defended your honor I took out the alpha-male evolution demands that we still win the race and presumably Marianne will give Trevor a second chance to make a good first impression all that sure I guess you're deluded I love you or not man you two are complicated the robot from pandora is out of chips forgot to turn on my poker subroutine can I get a do-over your question is activating my rarely used giggle Center how can i - is a poker simulation game with a selection of video game cameos more mismatched from the cast of Celebrity Big Brother in any given year why can't Hollywood let our childhood icons die a dignified death instead of parading them around like riding zombies among the famous faces you'll be playing against in this high-stakes game is the Borderlands vote who won't quit bugging you aka claptrap what oh sorry I was dreaming kidding videos on my other processor I kind of lost track of the head guess I'd better fold the deal of ruling the game with an iron chasse meanwhile is none other than portals AI antagonist GLaDOS what was that did you just try to hypnotize us with subliminals maybe are you upset I think excuse me claptrap is sweet on GLaDOS from the get-go but if you came here hoping for hot robot on Robot action then one it's pretty weird and - you're out of luck so why don't we just go out for some pasta a couple of bottles from below and a little conversation are you flirting with me let me check my variables yeah the 40 flag is set to true well kind of drifted off there c-clamp trapped your mistake there was offering GLaDOS pasta and wine to things that she physically can't consume have you considered offering her a fresh battered neurotoxin she always gets a kick out of that used on other people I might as well say it now I've always loved you baby well I outfitted with a dry heave subroutine I'd activate it now or just keep at it with the heavy duty come on let's see how that works out what's a hot babe like that doing in a miserable smelly broken-down joint like this hey Bob just keep that kind of narration to yourself larry was a game in which you played a hapless horndog desperately trying to get laid wait am i reading the Assassin's Creed entry again I'm not okay in fact the leisure suit wearing Larry laugher is a lot less successful in his sex ventures than Ezio Auditore this is only partly due to the fact that he does is it like an underwear model unless those underwear are some sort of prescription underwear for crotch illnesses after your cab ride you may be low on funds but you've got the looks the lines and the Leisure Suit it's more how his attempt to charm the opposite sex are all terrible for example there's the bad chat up lines you must be tired you've been running through my mind all day I know but you keep following me anyway where he's just straight-up touching people you lightly rest your hand on the hot babe do that again and I'll snap your wrist like kindling the tyre scrotum around your neck I think I can see where you're going wrong Larry most confusing of all however is this bizarre attempt in which Larry tries to weave a sexy metaphor about squibbles sorry if this sounds a little squirrely baby but I'd like to store you in my cheek pouches for a snowy day what G pout Larry wait I'm sure she's got this I'd like to crack your skull like a knight and bury your brains in the park damn I guess you could say that was a corny lie get it I mean it wasn't just corny it was basically incomprehensible but you know squirrels acorns you get it at your service of course if you set your sights on romancing Alice there in Dragon Age Origins and I mean why wouldn't you then we can heartily endorse not getting mired in this bit of do blonde tandra banter as confusing as it is dorky this is the bit where you the suave flirt you are are casually researching his sexual history which I mean there's your first mistake never never one had a good pair of shoes I'm not sure I do have I never seen a basilisk 8 jellied ham have I never licked a lamppost in winter wait what one post well tell me have you ever licked a lamppost in winter [Music] that's a disturbing mental image you've conjured for me right there sorry I'm lost okay yes things eventually work themselves out between you but we can't help but think this whole weird exchange early in the relationship left both sides with more questions than answers as well as some deeply confusing feelings about lampposts I'll be I'll be standing over here and Phil the blushing stops just to be safe do you know how it is but at least you opted your game in time to Dragon Age Inquisition or not do you think that you and I might some day how very sweet of you to ask but no well now those were some of the chat up lines we can heartily endorse you don't attempt at home not without some some serious warnings and caveats and absolutely no guarantee of their success but hey you know if any of them do work out for you let us know in the comments and also maybe entertain yourself with some more videos from outside Xbox up here and some more videos from outside extra I love the sister Channel

Channel: outsidexbox

Views: 613,808

Rating: 4.9486771 out of 5

Keywords: worst chat-up lines, worst pick-up lines, pick-up lines, chat-up lines, worst, best, funny, funny moments, mass effect love triangle, mass effect romance, assassin's creed 2, ezio funny, leisure suit larry, dragon age, dragon age romance, portal 2 adventure core, portal 2 adventure sphere, funny lines, gta 5, gta v, grand theft auto v, gta 5 funny moments, poker night 2, poker night 2 glados claptrap, poker night 2 claptrap glados, list, outsidexbox, outside xbox

Id: 3VVNoVW7t1M

Length: 14min 32sec (872 seconds)

Published: Thu Feb 01 2018