7 Tricky Ways The Women's Clothing Industry Is Scamming You

hey guys it Maggie made this here it's cracked and I apologized over its ridiculous outfit but it is literally the only clothing that I have in my closet that isn't falling apart I am calling for a boycott folks in old fashion see in the harbor style boycott I'm boycotting clothes okay not not all clothes I'm sure there are some shorts and t-shirts out there with big long lasting fabrics and made to last 50 unfortunate that type of clothing the ones meant for human to wear for protection from the elements well they're not found at forever 21 or Macy's or anywhere within a women's aisle in any store I am boycotting women's clothing the seven trillion dollar clothing industry is taking out for full size they make paper thin clothing glue rhinestones on the collar it's purposely create an industry where no one can get ahead and that is just the tip of the Gucci iceberg shopping whole women clothing is like a zombie apocalypse outbreak it started like a fun action flush but now it is ruining my life I'll tell you my bees and if you I got a green with me feel free to join my survival team heads up it's probably going to be a nudist colony firstly they make our clothing incredibly thin let me show you what we're working with here this is a man shirt see how it's made out of actual fabric that should be worn by a human this is a woman shirt it looks like it was woven together by old spiderweb then equals cheap and if you're only weaving half the thickness of regular fabric then you can make twice as more in the shorter amount of time this leads to a phenomenon scientists refer to as freezing my balls off we don't walk down a dark alley at night with you and say I'm called to seduce you it's because my right arm is not alive also feeling in my toes and maybe this alley will block the wind wait no actually it's a big thing that their coats are on sale I get that to buy one of those to cover me up so you would be the trap they have laid out for us have you ever worn a woman's jacket try to put your keys into a pocket only to realize that you had been duped there is no pocket jeans have fake pockets skirts have fake pocket and it doesn't stop there women's fashions are littered with sinks buckles thanks Super Snake buttons even fake diamonds because I think they're kidding look at it this button is not needed to further the function of these shorts they're like stairs that lead to nowhere I cannot describe to you the feeling of walking out of an old navy with a extra small shirt and stepping into a forever 21 and being escorted into the 21 perfection by a 16 year old as if I offended someone well the thing is I am NOT crazy they are crazy there is no standard for applying sizes and yes I am talking directly to you Victoria's Secret I know that I am NOT a 32d Tara Reid is a 32d somewhere in the back I imagine they have a conversion chart from normal sizes to Victoria Secret sizes that inflates our ego we truly do know how to make mountains out of these mold doors of course do this on purpose and change their sizes according to what's popular at the time see in 1937 832 inch bust would have been a size 14 a size 8 in 1967 and guess why it's now a size zero I told you on that creepy even train it makes stomping on my head possible I'm not crazy [Applause] designers Abbie's eat baked apples your clothing gives the appearance of a better quality product but you're just buying this decorated spiderwebs junk and watching it fall apart before your eyes making you run back to the store to replace your sequence worn crosses I realize I'm being a little harsh on clothing stores not entirely the follow the manufacturer that they only make shirts out of old butterfly wings they need to make clothing so cheap and so fast like crack okay to keep up with such fashion season I mean you can't sell 1,000 Old Navy teachers in the summer for cruelly camo green so it turns out fashion seasons are not as lights and death as stuck these and rabbit seasons but are actually completely made up to sell our old navy pink top see you back in the 1940s and 50s there was only the spring summer season for lighter clothing it's all winter for jackets and more that's for two today and now every two weeks is a new micro season and that is a very real fashion term designed to make you feel like an ugly deep nerd right after the charge on your credit card has been cleared ah now we're getting into the nitty-gritty did you know that your clothing at more hazardous weight woven into the fabric than your local land dump look at a t-shirt you're wearing probably looks innocent maybe has a Beatles quote on it there are most likely more than 8000 synthetic chemicals teeth right into that shoddy stitching the chemical view the processing has been linked to infertility respiratory diseases contact dermatitis and of course cancer for example did you know that the United States is the only country that hasn't been used to formaldehyde to make your clothing your pants are literally trying to kill you now the next time you take up stage which is your ex's old t-shirt remember that it is full of that synthetic chemical suits and also their sweat that is disgusting and please just throw it away because they don't love you anymore anyway so why do you still have it would you like your local small town band who claims hips fill the chords for rock and roll all night from the song we played at your prom your second entry is also known for its use of smaller artists work without their permission only these claims are much more credible I'm sorry that's our principal the kids have never heard of you if your clothing stores like Urban Outfitters and Zara have been caught stealing Styles design patterns using specific items from independent fashion makers and artists hey hey let's play game let's wake up shall we here is a patterns made by an artist and maybe the skirt that Urban Outfitters claims they came up with on their own hey let's do another one this is a necklace the artists CD corner me and this is a necklace of Urban Outfitters said that they thought up while drinking coffee one morning I probably google searching a cool necklace design did you just rip off your button-up shirt are you sad now because I am I get sent another day showing out my entire bank accounts and I don't get it another public PCC so I'm calling a boycott baby I refuse to buy from stores that steal from hardest trying to make a living I shop in the boys section where a campuses in Lula and I try to buy items that still contain chemicals and basically leave me with a coconut bra and a grass skirt went eggs better than a t-shirt that you can see my bra through with the design stolen from a struggling 22 year old kid in college ah that's better nice and breezy Oh [Music] oi down clothing industry and burn them to the ground hey you like stand up come see the crack stand-up show it's happening January 26th at meltdown comics in Los Angeles if you want to see amazing comedians including our own Theresa Lee go to nerdmelt la comm slash tickets and if you want to see this brick wall all by itself keep watching

Channel: Cracked

Views: 509,881

Rating: 4.6291785 out of 5

Keywords: Women's clothing, boycotts, clothing industry, forever 21, clothing stores, funny, sketch, comedy, macy's, spoof, humor, cracked.com, ann taylor, gucci, hilarious

Id: BaGsjcmtu7k

Length: 7min 48sec (468 seconds)

Published: Wed Jan 25 2017