5 KEY Phrases To SHUT DOWN A Narcissist & Reclaim YOUR CONTROL (Disarm The Narcissist)

[Music] hi everybody Lisa a Romano here the breakthrough life coach and today I've been asked to do a video by a YouTube viewer who asked me point-blank listen Lisa I look I live with the narcissist I have to deal with this everyday can you just give me a couple of key phrases that I can use to like push him off balance and I thought sure I could give you some of the key phrases that I've used during my life the things that I want to make clear right here right now is that we cannot control someone else's reality we don't have the right to control someone else's reality we don't have the power to control someone else's reality we really have to work very hard at changing our programming because what we don't understand is that very often times we're upset because someone else has a perception of us that were uncomfortable with and we challenge that person's perception of us we're upset that people think this about us whatever whatever it is and something absolutely amazing happens when you begin to accept that other people are allowed to have their own faulty perception of you so let me get to the key phrases that I would like you to start experimenting with because I think there's so much fun once you start using them and you see how you can push a narcissist off balance it's just amazing it can actually be fun so the first one is I'm sorry you feel that way so imagine what happens when you are dealing with the narcissist who are saying I know why you did that now I know why you said that and you said that because the black dive doctor but I know what because narcissists know everything they know exactly why you did what you did right of course they do so imagine what happens inside a narcissists head when you can when you come back with I'm sorry you feel that way that completely throws them off balance because they're trying to engage you they're trying to get you to defend yourself but when you just stand there and understand they have a right to see you the way they want want to and you can't control it and you come back with I'm sorry feel that way imagine what's happening is you are you are disarming it are me him or her and you are disentangling yourself from this dynamic that is gonna go nowhere fast another fabulous thing that I like to say to disarm a narcissist is I can accept your faulty perception of me it's it is absolutely phenomenal when you announced to the narcissist that I am acknowledging that you have this weird whacked-out perception of me and I can accept it because what they're trying to do is engage you in not accepting their reality not accepting their reality of you so when you say I can accept your faulty perception of me you are cutting the psychic chords to this narcissist and you're letting him or her know that you're not going to be manipulated like whatever they think and feel is perfectly okay with you the third thing that I like to say if I ever have an exchange with the narcissist is I have no right to control how you see me it's very much like I can accept your faulty perception of me but when you say I have no right to control how you see me you're actually you're driving home the point that you are acknowledging that they see you in a way that you don't agree with but you're absolutely okay with that so when you say I have no right to control how you see me you're actually saying so imagine if a narcissist has a hook inside of you you're actually saying no I have no no right to control how you see me you're allowed to see me any way you want you see we get caught up because we we hear what the narcissist is saying or they rewrite history or they Gaslight us and they tell us that we didn't hear what we heard or they didn't do what they did and when we finally start saying well I have no right to control how you see me or I have no right to control your perception of this situation you're actually telling the narcissist that not interested in engaging in this warfare and what you think is totally fine and I'm not I'm just not gonna go there anymore the fourth thing key phrase that I like to use in the narcissus is I guess I have to accept that that's how you feel you see it's all about accepting and allowing this person to be who they are and accepting and allowing this person's perception of you even though it bothers you and even though it hurts like hell but when you send the clear message to a narcissist then I guess I have to accept how you feel or you're entitled to your reality or whatever when you start using key phrases like this the message to the narcissist is uh-oh she's not willing to play the game the fifth key phrase that I like to use in a narcissist is your anger is not my responsibility now the reason that's so important is because so many times a narcissist will attract an empathic person male or female and normally codependent person someone who is seeking validation from outside of themselves now I feel that narcissists seek power and control over which on us on the superficial level that might look like validation but I think they're actually looking for power and control and they feel validated by the other person when they are able to communicate and control them and codependents is seeking validation so it's a beautiful blend you know it's a hand in a glove a narcissist in a codependent or a narcissist in an empath you know in these dynamics there's only room for one self and that's the self or the narcissist and both people are focused on the one person which is the narcissist the codependent or the impact is worried about the narcissist and the narcissist is worried about the narcissist and also we suffer the codependence and impacts were afraid to make people angry and narcissists know this and that's why they get loud and that's why they will shut down and that's why they'll ignore us and that's why they're with hold from us because they know that as a codependent an empath we need to feel that connection so when you say things when you send that start sending these new messages like your Allah you're allowed to feel what you feel you're entitled to see me how you want bla bla bla bla bla and you also add to that your anger is no my responsibility you're letting the narcissist know that you're not going to allow the fear of what they think about you to control you any more and that is powerful so that's it those are the five key phrases that I want you to really practice and take home and write down in your journal and practice them and practice them and practice them say them out loud you know so that it begins to fall off your lips allow people to be who they are even the narcissists in your life that doesn't mean that you have to engage them it doesn't mean that you have to give them any any space in your head the narcissists can stay here and you can stay there and the gnosis can say what he wants and you can stay here and hold on to yourself you don't have to be manipulated anymore you don't have to engage if you don't want to and I hope these key phrases have helped you and if they have leave me a comment below and if you can if you feel so inclined subscribe now I must say everybody I bow to the love in the light in you [Music] you

Channel: Lisa A. Romano Breakthrough Life Coach Inc.

Views: 2,606,372

Rating: 4.8844342 out of 5

Keywords: disarm a narcissist, get back at the narcissist, key phrases to use against the narcissis, 5 key phrases to disarm a narcissist, lisa a romano covert narcissist, lisa a romano how to talk to a narcissist, lisa a romano narcissistic mother, how to talk to a narcissist, torture narcissist, how to disarm narcissist, lisa a romano narcissist, lisa a romano codependency, ways to disarm a narcissist, covert narcissist who uses crazy making, key phrases to disarm a narcissist, npd

Id: 6TSh9zTHz2k

Length: 7min 40sec (460 seconds)

Published: Tue Oct 04 2016

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From the video:

• I am sorry you feel that way.
• I can accept your faulty perception of me.
• I have no right to control how you see me.
• I guess I have to accept how you feel.
• Your anger is not my responsibility.

All these phrases send home the idea that you are no longer willing to allow your fear of what the narcissist thinks to control you.

See also:

• We cannot contol someone else's reality