3 Times Sir Humphrey Slipped Up | Yes, Prime Minister | BBC Comedy Greats

why did you allow humphrey to come in here when i explicit you drove a nacho well i couldn't stop him why not he's bigger than me be confined to the cabinet office uh-huh lock the communicating door he has a key take his key away from him take his key away from me his key away from him you take his key away from him [Laughter] sorry prime minister but i don't think it's within my power i'm giving you the power bernard i am authorizing you but i don't know whether i i mean crikey he'll go completely potty got for you about it yes but freedom burner yes but i am authorizing you bernard yes you alone bernard will have access to the prime minister but but but you know butts bernard shakespeare there are no prime minister but nobody's circus 1820. uh mr cent lever used the phrase in 1708 but actually it was scott's employment of it in the antiquity in 1816 which made it fashionable shall we keep to the point please better yes prime minister there's only one problem if i'm to take his key away from him what reason can i possibly get fake banner find a reason yes yes prime minister thank you prime minister thank you nerf hankins bernard hacker it's me look i'm coming through to number ten i'd like to work with the prime minister please no sorry what did you say i said no sir no yes oh that's better for a moment i thought you said no i did say no the prime minister is busy then i'll come and see you i'm busy too so hungry you may not come in you do not have permission i'm coming anyway your little runt he couldn't believe his ears what did he say he's coming anyway are you feeling strong enough no it's all right he can't come in i told security to take his key from his office my god no bernard it's just your boss i'm staggered i'm fairly surprised myself well how did you get through a solid door where's my key gun you must have a spare where's my key the prime minister have told me to have it removed that's correct would you buy deal is nothing to do with you thank you the prime minister does not have it within his power to deprive me of my key it's his house it's a government building well i believe is the prime minister's decision who comes into his house after all i didn't give my mother-in-law the key to my heart i am not the prime minister's mother-in-law look bernard would you excuse us dear lady yes [Laughter] bernada i don't want us to fall out over this it's so pretty of the prime minister you and i are going to have to work together for some years yet but prime ministers come and go whereas your career prospects depend upon those who have the power over promotions and appointments on a long-term basis i must insist you tell me how you came in sorry you must have a personal key now i insist you hand it over well done bernard [Laughter] hello is that security change the locks on the door connecting the cabinet office to this house and then bring me all the keys yes all the keys at once open this door open this door you'll pay for this open the bloody door i'm sorry sir do you have an appointment i'm sorry humphrey appleby i know that's the humphrey do you have an appointment i'm the cabinet secretary yes do you have an appointment i don't need an appointment i've got a pass may i see it peter [Laughter] assist all right now no sir that's a cabinet office pass not a number 10 pass you know me damn it there's a new top security instruction i'm afraid sir no one no matter how familiar may enter without a number 10 pass unless they're on the daily list or unless mr bernard wooley gives him permission would you like the firm's calling yes no yes was that a yes i have the humphrey applebee here wishing to enter by the front door would you ask mr wooly if he may be admitted i'm sorry sir humphrey i can't find mr wool at the moment and he left no word so we can't let you in [Laughter] [Laughter] oh look it's humphrey [Music] perfect [Laughter] to what we owe this pleasure i must protest in the strongest possible terms my profound opposition to a newly instituted practice which imposes severe and intolerable restrictions upon the ingress and egress of senior members of the hierarchy and which will in all probability should the current deplorable innovation be perpetuated precipitate a constriction of the channels of communication and culminates in the condition of organizational atrophy and administrative paralysis which will render effectively impossible the coherent and coordinated discharge of the function of government within our majesty's united kingdom of great britain and northern ireland you mean you've lost your key prime minister yes humphrey um there's something i want to talk to you about something very secret um would it be easier if i wasn't here a few years ago there was a security inquiry does the name sir john houston ring a bell yes of course in fact i had to conduct the inquiry myself virtually and you didn't find evidence of anything incriminating of course not in the first place john halstead was one of us we'd been friends for years in the second place the whole story was got up by the press and in the third place the whole object of internal security inquiries is to find no evidence even if the security of the realm is at risk prime minister if you really believe the security of the realm is at risk you call in the special branch government security inquiries are only used for killing press stories they're to enable the prime minister to stand up in the house and say we've held a full inquiry and there is no evidence to substantiate these charges what if you had found something suspicious well prime minister practically everything that happens in government is suspicious i mean the fact that you asked bernard to leave us alone for a secret conversation might be construed as suspicious indeed but in any case the whole story was quite clearly a nonsense typical fleet street sensationalism so there's no possibility that sir john did was passing secrets to moscow impossible out of the question you'd stake your reputation on without hesitation i see well i'm afraid i have to tell you that for a substantial part of his career he was a russian spy i don't believe it says so he does he left all his papers to the government including a detailed confession mi5 says it's absolutely true checks out all along the line but good lord i mean he he was one of us exactly but this certainly leaves a lot of questions to be asked yes and i'm asking you the first of them why didn't you ask him a lot of questions why did the inquiry exonerate him and so quickly well i've already told you anyway we were very busy but besides good lord you don't think i mean surely nobody suspect what else was i expected to do you could have held a proper inquiry after all you had evidence of his surprisingly long stay in yugoslavia yes shortly afterwards several mi5 agents behind the iron curtain were rounded up and never seen again yes he spent a lot of time with one particular interpreter and she turned out to be a russian agent yes we knew that most yugoslav interpreters are russian agents who aren't with the cia that is you never followed it up but i had better things to do with my tie three months later she moved to england and settled in cambridge 150 yards from john halstead's own house they were neighbors for the next 11 years crikey you can't check up on everything you never know what you might find i mean you've got that sort of suspicious mind you ought to hold security inquiries yeah no john gave me his word halstead the word of a gentleman anyway humphrey i have a problem problem you me you don't sing you couldn't sing i don't speak a word of russian well you must admit it was either incompetence or collusion conclusion i give you my word prime minister it wasn't collusion the word of a gentleman exactly an oxford gentleman you've been briefed by mi5 indeed prime minister bad business unfortunate disastrous i'd say oh not disastrous surely it will never come out you mean things are only disastrous if people find out about them of course even if the cabinet secretary is a spy but i'm happy to say that is not the case how can you be so sure mi5 have just come across this in the houston papers from his private diary another session with that prize goof applebee fooled him completely he never asked any of the difficult questions didn't seem to have read the mi5 report so much wool in his head it's child's play to pull it over his eyes that certainly exonerates humphrey arnold i can't tell you how happy this makes me shall i no no no i'll keep this then i take it there's really nothing for me to investigate after all well apparently not not on security grounds good then in that case i'll take up no more of your time uh hold on there's still the question of incompetence well of course prime minister we all make mistakes well not on that scale do you think i should sack him i hardly think so why not did you think a civil servant should ever be sacked if they deserve it of course they should in principle but not in practice why not there would have to be an inquiry and all inquiries into the incompetence of civil servants somehow seem to lead back to mistakes by minister um second thoughts leave it with me thank you prime minister so hungry's outside show him in bernard show him me oh goofy i'm happy to tell you that you've been cleared of spying how uh something sir john house did wrote oh that's very gratifying isn't it i knew you'd be there may one see the document one certainly may better still one can have it read to one may the 28th another session with that prize goof applebee fooled him completely yes i see well thank you prime minister goes on humphrey clears you even more he never asked any of the difficult questions didn't seem to have read the mi5 quite clear so much bull in his head it's child's play to pull it over his heart wonderful you must be a very happy man i always said halstead was a hopeless judge of character you mean we can't believe this he was lying oh no no no no absolutely true um true that is in the sense of you see he wasn't bright enough to understand subtle questioning techniques the non-confrontational approach lulled him into a true sense of security by even separating out the component causes let alone allocating responsibility for them is a task of such analytical delicacy as not to be susceptible to compression within the narrow confines of a popular radio program helpful thank you very much if that was a popular program what would an unpopular program be like thank you very much to humphrey absolutely my pleasure was i all right well couldn't you've said a bit more especially about unemployment is that well uh the truth why do you laugh oh my dear ludo nobody tells them truth about unemployment oh why not well because everybody knows you could half it in a few weeks but how cut off all social security to any claimant who refuses two job offers there's genuine unemployment in the north but the south of england is awash with layabouts many of them graduates living off the dole and housing benefit plus quite a lot of cash they pick up without telling anybody you mean moonlighting well sunlighting really most employers will tell you they're short stuffed but after the unemployed a street sweeping job or a dishwashing job they'd be off the register before you could say parasite frankly this country can have as much unemployment as it's prepared to pay for in social security and no politicians have got the guts to do anything about it oh i do wish you'd said that i'm sure you do oh come along better come here what's this for the bbc have just sent me this tape apparently part of my interview they say it's particularly interesting for your interview you sound surprised that i should have said something interesting bernard oh uh no no uh sorry it's just that i thought you were intended to say nothing as always i mean switch it on bernard you may learn something my dear ludo nobody tells the truth about unemployment oh why not because everyone knows you could harvest interviews on a social security to all claimants who refused two job offers and no politicians have got the guts to do anything about it so humphrey that wasn't you was it yes bernard but how could you say such things is there any more yes bernard as damaging of as what we've just heard more damaging i believe i referred to parasites how could you be so indiscreet the interview was over we were just chatting harmlessly um it was off the record it was on the tape oh my god i just realized blackmail blackmail read that here is a copy of your off the record part of the radio interview we found it very interesting we will contact you shortly what do they want of me the bbc license fee up 50 maybe it's a private blackmail by the producer or maybe doesn't he know i'm a poor man maybe he hasn't read you live in abject poverty on 81 000 a year bennett what am i going to do well keep your mouth shut in future and so must you bernard i don't want you to breathe a word about this to anyone anyone do my duty what am i going to do well perhaps you should put out a press statement expressing sympathy for the unemployed well you may be joining them any moment you

Channel: BBC Comedy Greats

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Keywords: bbc, bbc comedy greats, bbc comedy, comedy greats, british comedy, stand up, Sitcom, Comedian, Comic, Sketch show, comedy show, comedy video, yes prime minister, yes minister, sir humphrey, sir humphrey appleby, nigel hawthorne, sir nigel hawthorne, paul eddington, jim hacker, bernard woolley, derek fowlds, 3 Times Sir Humphrey Slipped Up | Yes Prime Minister | BBC Comedy Greats, 3 Times Sir Humphrey Slipped Up, sir humphry, humphrey appleby, yes minister compilation

Id: h6BpkhAF8jQ

Length: 19min 47sec (1187 seconds)

Published: Sun May 22 2022