Zombie Apocalypse Survival Guide

okay so originally the title of this video is gonna be what would you do in a zombie apocalypse but you forget how many frontiers there are nowadays talking about but let's go to one last night while shooting zombies in some game but when a real apocalypse goes down they'd rather you eat themselves off you know what it's a solid take to want to take the easy way out if you whack listen if you want to die you want to die gloriously like a Spartan I don't know about y'all but if I woke up to the start of a zombie apocalypse I'd be hella woke I'd be like is this for real is this really happening I know oh my god what are we gonna do of course I had to be born in the generation the world decides to end like yo I can't believe this [ __ ] we have to get out of here now no more school no more work what's gonna get lit now ah I don't get why you're so excited about this wait you you don't happen to have anything to do with this outbreak do you no cap but some of us corn balls have been waiting for this moment our whole lives and we can thank the Walking Dead for making it look that fun I like to think I have some useful stuff in my room like katanas axes that's a gas mask a Spartan helmet a water bottle full of pennies and simps be like what do you have that junk cuz it's cool but just in case something happens right when crisis times like these go down you could be safe in your literal hazmat suit going yeah that's right didn't spend all this mullah here just to flex on Halloween oh no I'm too broke for that oh just have to stick with what you've got well you came to the right place cuz with this wicked reliable Survival Guide or about to end up like them brawl like cockroaches that can survive anything and everything even when the world goes down the [ __ ] and by all means you can take a mad serious if you want so first thing you're gonna do when you find out a zombie apocalypse is going down is pull out your phone take a star to put it on Instagram Twitter MySpace I don't judge and get that Klout if we're being realistic but if you add any real common sense the first thing you want to do is put on the right safety gear no casuals just have a convenient hazmat suit or a suit of armor laying around in their closet right here's what most of us have though a bad mattress how the [ __ ] is a bed mattress gonna help me pick your bed mattress and rent a giant hole big enough for your whole body to fit in it make another hole for your face arms and legs the design is cool cuz if you want to hide you can just pull back in like a turtle watch watch watch okay hello boom second thing is you don't want to leave your stank-ass feet exposed just in case things Ami's got foot finished go grab some steel toed shoes cuz one of them zombies trying to take a bite out of your toes they'll be losing all their teeth instead timpz ROP going back to the mattress armor the only downside is gonna be that you're probably not gonna have much mobility so you'll be getting zombie slobber all over you eventually you'll get so bored you'd rather just have one of them Shrek looking mofos bite you unless you meet the one person who eats mattresses for a living then you're pretty much screwed what are the chances though you're more likely to slide trips to a clip and fall backwards on some brains and that'd be the end of that wolf thank god this cushion saved my head hope I fallen and I can't get up oh there's a lot more setbacks than I thought scrap it all I take it back for the sake of ease and being twinkle toes go out there with joggers and tank tops whatever gets you haulin ass next you want to build a smart loyal grateful team you can appreciate obviously you want to bring your family and friends but besides them the few types of people I'd want to recruit our medic a genius a jack-of-all-trades who can do karate and [ __ ] a buff Rambo type of dude and a cheerleader cuz it's important to stay positive oh my god he wasn't dead yet before you dead ass kill them this time get out chair hey I know why don't we go to Ikea and get some hot dogs those are good or you guys want to free all the animals at the zoo huh let's go to cage open he's free hey why don't we go to Disney and look at all of you tragic better yet let's go to Disney Animation Studios and see the dress from the upcoming movies into the into the yeah sorry wait I'm down I want to see all the live-action remakes stop no you don't that's why you need a cheerleader cuz everyone else is gonna be an emo during this apocalypse once you've found your squad go find some weapons and get loaded with them people would immediately think of guns and grenades don't be stupid too much reliability on firearms or detract attention to other nearby zombies so you're better off trying to limit usage with those alternatively go for the sledgehammers machetes bats crossbows katanas whatever the hell this is what you want an even cooler weapon yeah mama these Wolverine claws were here kicked so much ass I mean slice so much ass you can do the YMCA dance kill zombies without even realizing it or you can go Taz no it's spinning like crazy going like just make sure not to scratch your face by accident or you're gonna end up looking like Freddy Krueger now it's time to start making moves the one place you're definitely not gonna stay in long-term if you're not a nob it's a supermarket you got good storage of food there but most of the produce is gonna smell like garbage juice in the next few days unless you're down to Pelt some zombies with rotten fruit first before moving on to Costco Home Depot Target Walmart or Amazon package buildings because nowadays they got mostly everything you need to survive you could get creative by putting the treadmills they got inside around the building entrances all except one secret door so you can leave fat as zombies can finally start doing cardio instead of chasing me if you got a case of train to Busan zombies where they can run like Usain Bolt just max the speed of it so they can fly all the way to Jersey I don't know if the electricity will work or not but it's worth a shot anyways another practical getaway plan is to start collecting some food first aid kits clothes your pets whatever whoever else you need on a boat and move to a deserted island that's pretty far but hopefully stocked with natural food and okay living conditions who knows if zombies can survive underwater but even if they could can they swim more realistically I think they just drift in the water going like uh until they just rot and decompose I don't know about y'all but I'm just waiting for daddy Elon Musk to come up with a way for us to move to Mars but if that doesn't happen and all else fails you'd have a reason to keep moving and that's when you're really gonna scrap with some zombies along the way some people are too scared to snuff zombies and that's fine my advice is die they're playing another role that's helpful to the team or you overcome your fears by turning it into a contest make it a fun game I bet I can get way more head counts than you in the next I'll work yeah winner gets the last Twinkies bring it on [ __ ] next thing you know you'll all be killing zombies left and right up and down sideways diagonally forth I'm actually pissed for some Twinkies you might even get a chance to run into a zombie celebrity and take a selfie with them and during that whole ordeal one of you might actually get bitten and that's when [ __ ] hits the fan what's next Liam it really do be like that sometimes huh well there goes my arm I guess that's that it's time for me to meet Jesus good Bob what the [ __ ] listen I saw this on the walking dead when you get bitten the infections are like a parasite it slowly spreads through your whole body so you just got to cut off that one part that got bitten as soon as possible hell no this is my dominant arm I can't draw play sports eat gamble do anything without this arm I'd rather go now you buggin mad people have been born without body parts and still going on like champs you're a champ aren't you let me swing now that ain't me it's my life my choices medic please say something now hold still can't you see I'm trying oh yeah and that's exactly why I'm not holding still your crack can leave me alot hear ye hear ye I'm the bearer of mad terrible news this was an accident but I think he got what he wanted so that makes it okay I just had a thought what happens if a mosquito get zombified just one of the lungs could get bitten off all the zombies trying to eat another dead guy's body since they already swarm over places that got massive stenches of blood one infected mosquito could breed with another mosquito make some zombie mosquito babies and suck everyone's blood for food and if they have the power to turn us humans into zombies then [ __ ] it we're screwed the end you can't be attached to anyone who turns into a zombie even your loved ones they'll only see us as a nice piece of tomahawk steak after the change nothing else the moment they turn into a zombie it's time to say goodbye at any rate it's a whole messed up game of survival you need to be 24/7 aware of your surroundings and prepared for every single situation invest in a fighting class or something I don't know or if you're a metal type of guy or gal you could give zombies a piece of their own medicine and bite them instead you probably turn into a zombie yourself at least you got your bitter sweet revenge [Music]

Channel: Tabbes

Views: 8,780,431

Keywords: drawing, humor, storytime animation, story, slice of life, doodle, scribble, cartoon, comedy, animatic, rants, zombie apocalypse, survival guide, practical how to, wilderness and military, lessons and tips

Id: 4J4tVokD4TE

Length: 9min 22sec (562 seconds)

Published: Wed Jan 08 2020

Reddit Comments

[u/Armed_And_Savage]

dont know who this lady is but someone needs to send her a link to cataclysm, her tips will turn you into tenderised hulk dinner