Don't be a Tourist

what comes to mind when you hear the word tourist if you said you think of some happy-go-lucky fools ready to blow all their money for what they think is a once-in-a-lifetime trip we're on the same page good job gold star for you so you're in a new place in a sunshiny type of mood and you're thinking to yourself i whatever let's throw some cash around and slowly but surely these sleazy con artists take full advantage of you 20 for a raggedy looking hot dog no problem but then all that spending adds up and by the end of the trip you're 50 pounds overweight and you're broke you'd be like damn i don't even have enough for the bus ride back home pathetic if you're looking in the mirror right now going like yeah that's me don't worry i'ma help you buffoons out not saying it's bad to splurge every once in a while by all means enjoy yourself but when you're stepping into new territory you gotta be aware of the locals trying to do you dirty they'll take all your piggy bank savings just like that well to be honest i fell for a lot of these schemes in the past but now i'm here to pass on these street smarts to all you guys so for those of you who don't live in urban areas this is what the gist of is like it's real out here people are always hustling chasing bags and trust me when i say they'll do whatever it takes to win the rat race to make it out here you can't twiddle your fingers and hope it all works out nay you gotta be the chattest of chads and ko everybody who gets in your way to get what you want well city people sound like [ __ ] yes sir you're an [ __ ] you're an [ __ ] we're all [ __ ] and that's just city life tell you what though you can avoid getting caught up in these situations by not making yourself an easy target locals can always tell who's a tourist and who isn't but how first of all your clothes if you're wearing souvenir all over you that says i love this city we'll appreciate the gesture but i'm sorry that's a dead giveaway right there let me tell you nobody who lives in the area casually wears that stuff second you're wildly looking around at everything like it's your first time here you got stars in your eyes you're taking pictures of gum on the street turning hobos into homies and making out with pigeons meanwhile everyone else is making their way downtown walking fast faces pass okay i'll stop and they're just minding their own business because they got places to go to they're doing their thing and third is the exact opposite vibe i was talking about most people who go to new places are on edge and mad cautious about their surroundings they walk like snails look down and cry when people are rude to them if you don't want to out yourself you better act like you own these streets chest out eyes forward and strut faster faster there we go okay now you're getting too cocky about it you're definitely getting mugged keep in mind some people don't give a damn if you look like a tourist or not they'll come up to you regardless because their confidence is just way up there that being said now imma teach you the methods and signs of hustlers trying to freeload off you so one of the tricks they use is what i call the sob story sales pitch these pre-planned speeches aren't that hard to spot and it's an easy peasy way to make you fork up your money this happens a lot in trains always in the same damn format just a different story each time i swear the atmosphere always tenses up when one of these guys come in excuse me ladies and gentlemen can i have your attention please yes hello my name is jay i just got out of prison right now i got no job no home my house burned down no way prison job home yeah so my house got robbed and and i used to be addicted to crack now i'm off i'm trying to stay clean now i sure would hate if any of you were in my shoes right now honestly i could have stabbed one of y'all but hey i chose to take the high road instead i hope you choose to do the same thing i will appreciate anything a dollar a quarter dime even a penny will help [ __ ] [ __ ] call it cold well when you sat through the same scenario at least a hundred times you start getting pretty suss about it you know the drill next time you see them they'll be walking out of the drugstore with booze in their hands next up we got the oopsie guy so you're walking on the street and somebody clearly and purposely bumps into you then they bend down and bounce right back up showing you a pair of broken glasses you broke my [ __ ] sorry sorry ain't gonna do nothing these glasses were 300 bucks you gonna reimburse me or what yeah i guess that makes sense here blam you just got scammed okay come on let's be real here these prop glasses at most at most cost five dollars from some nearby dollar store you better check out the prescription on those lenses to see if it's legit look up the brand whatever it takes save your wallet there's another alternative scenario where someone bumps right into you while dropping their food they snap at you with yo come on i need my dinner my bad here's a 10. hey you just got played you walk away and turn around to see that they're scooping that halal right back onto the plate and now they're waiting for the next sucker to come by you got all kinds of people in this world huh next we have the buy my mixtape oh now these guys aren't just a meme they're out there you might be walking on the streets when some guy comes up to you saying hey yo what's good then they'll ask you if you're from around here you always gotta respond with yes otherwise they'll try to mess with you more after that what they'll do is act like they definitely want something from you hey gorgeous you looking beautiful today here take a cd i swear i'ma be the next jay-z yeah yeah i've heard it a million times what's your name baby girl erica okay erica let me sign it for you here and this is how they go trip you it's yours now and if you refuse the friends are gonna come along and corner you they're gonna keep trying to convince you to take it off their hands they'll act like it's free at first but when you actually take it then they ask you for money surprise surprise you say no to them and that's when they start getting hostile give them a dollar and a dollar come on i even signed it i don't even know who you are hey i'll give you a bargain how about a 20. these cd's gonna be worth millions later on trust millions my ass first of all 20 is straight robbery and second i ended up buying one of these a long time ago out of curiosity went home to listen to it and i most definitely did not hear the next kanye or jay-z or whatever waste of a perfectly good cd maybe it was better off blank if you gotta bully people to listen to your music it's probably not that good in the first place now let's talk about the dollar store disney characters when you're in crowded areas you're going to see some cheap old disney characters that look like they came straight out of walmart and telling you at top speed this is the shits you see in nightmares they're going to follow you for about a minute and keep saying all right let's take a picture with their nicest tongue the one time i fell for this i was standing in between a mutated looking elmo and an iron man with beer belly and i was stuck waiting for them to take the picture hey aren't you melting in there it's like 93 degrees out today right at the shot the beer belly iron man decided to kiss my cheek this man is violating okay well we got bounds here i was ready to go i thought all they wanted was a picture but then they put their hand out and asked for money i said nope i don't have any then they got aggressive and went off on me walked away and never fell for it since pickpocketers and thieves are classic things you need to watch out for but these criminals have gotten way too smart lately so here's what happens on the train as soon as those doors open at a stop some guy robs you of your belongings and books it two other guys come up to you saying don't worry ma'am we'll get it back for you and you feel more secure knowing that he'll be caught cause two versus one right nope what you don't know is that these guys are besties with a thief and they're not running after him they're running with him you ain't ever seen their faces again lesson here is to get your lazy ass on track team and get your belongings yourself so while this video doesn't have all the tricks in the book here's a general rule for you when thou art in the city don't accept anything that people aggressively hand out to you period i've never not once seen anything valid being given out on the street for free so if anyone tries to hand you anything give them the cold shoulder don't be afraid to say no you may or may not get shot [ __ ] the coupon the picture the cd the ticket or the discount for not smiling enough today and that's it you're welcome for the trust issues you

Channel: Tabbes

Views: 3,465,643

Rating: 4.965929 out of 5

Keywords: drawing, humor, storytime animation, story, slice of life, doodle, scribble, cartoon, comedy, animatic, rants, traveling, travel, tourist, schemes, business tactics, subway, chicago, nyc, la los angelos, london, paris, city life, work and money, trains and buildings, new york city, street smarts, educational ish

Id: z5l8ovbw_6M

Length: 7min 59sec (479 seconds)

Published: Mon Aug 10 2020