Your Mom's House Podcast - Ep. 397 w/ Joe Rogan

[Music] thank you for gracing us with your presence today my pleasure Benjamin it's been a while it has been you're the second guess we've had in three years whoa yeah ray stop doing guests a long time ago but then now we have this setup we're like we should bring guests back yeah why not why not target yeah it's finally you we told you we had the the water someone yeah here last week yeah some people thought it was a joke and they wrote in like hey I turned it off I thought that bit was going kind of gone yeah what about it well cuz we play boring cliffs on the show sometimes yeah people are like that was the longest boring Club yeah that's a very cool thing yeah when there's too many laughs we'll be like let's bore it down a little bit this place I'm boring in there is a long book got a peach in valleys yeah what were their expectations that's really my home yeah so we had a bunch of people that some people were I would say most people were fascinated sucking Faso's I I had no idea until I walked in here that that was a real thing yeah and he he works at patina which is a restaurant downtown have you been there but he created a watered menu there yeah so when people go come on and you're like yeah can I have you know you ordered and he's like to drink and you go I'll just have water he'll be like I'll be right back and then it's a water menu so you get to he basically does what we were telling you but you know like a beautiful presentation and people start if I went out to a restaurant out of water menu I it depends on how high I am yeah I was really hard to like what's going on yeah but if I was so bad like [ __ ] you I'm good but if you're really high you might be like bringing one of everything let me try all this you try your water man yeah all right we have an opening clip before we just think before we get into our regulars this is how we open our show so we'll play our clip and then we'll get into it here we go around June the 21st when a Skype when tarantulas skyping with me a brent spiner said hey you toran something's going on with Matthew on his penis what what's happening with all of my men's penises were being attacked always lands don't bring anyone I know what's this brother you mean what is she talking about rational yeah without a deal yeah never guess that one Forest Whitaker I going right I yeah yeah and there's also there's something about crazy that does something to your you know the way you see eyes you could tell you talking to her person you'd be like even if she didn't say crazy penis [ __ ] you'd be like sums up with her oh yeah well it's the the gays it doesn't break that's right yeah there's no blanking yeah it's a real indicator and Santa did those Alijah there was a very serious malware in the computer system at church of Gayle and caused all the men at church of Gail to cause them to have all sorts of penis afflictions very painful Church of jail I think that's her own church Church of Gayle oh I think why does she think it has to do with Matthew McConaughey I don't know but she goes on you know with the penises lasted for at least a good week in that Jews white from June 21st at June 28th they were just having this ordeal with penises because of Jesuit trigger programming on the Church of Gayle computers they spent a lot of time in sick bay there tonight yeah we had him now at that point yeah what she was right mad vagina Matthews penis when n-word I think it's lame that she thinks that the Jesuits are targeting her I don't hear them there should be Jesuits are very affable they're fun yeah early education college chant they like to drink they like to party they're not really into the stuff you know what's interesting about her if you didn't know any better like if you spoke a different language and you listened to her talk you'd be like well she seems totally rational yeah she's sitting there calmly she's not she's moving too much and maybe she's an expert in white or ancient civilization a lot of contact and I'm assuming you know like I was watching that Bernie Madoff movie the new one really good with DeNiro and Michelle Pfeiffer yes I which is called Wizard of lives and they were just talking about how like his greatest skill was just people manipulating and he had this crazy thing where he was that's the craziest part he was already successful he was really well off he was a multi-millionaire and he's still you know designed this Ponzi scheme to extract so much more out of people and they said you know because his reputation was such and he was just knew how to talk to people I were just handing over money man you just in it to [ __ ] people over like you have a fun of screwing people a little bit yes how I really bad super addicted to the cast yeah there's a great interview with him on Radio lab and it's really interesting because they have to interview them from jail and so when you call someone in jail you can only talk to them for 15 minutes huh and then you have to wait off the phone for 15 minutes for them to come back on then fifteen minutes again so they're interviewing this guy needs 15 minutes and it just cuts off at 15 minutes and he has to wait terrible and it but he's describing you know this waiting and then as time went on he talks to Madoff more and more he gets more and more comfortable but the crazy thing about him is the complete total lack of empathy none is no empathy towards the people he [ __ ] over people that killed themselves like there was a bunch of people that just one guy which is really fascinating he was worth nine billion dollars and Bernie was telling him that he had to give seven of it back he called the guy up because look the jig is up everybody knows and apparently he he thinks or at least his rationale is that all these people like the big high roller guys they knew that they were ripping people off they knew that there was no way you could always make money that there was always going to be fluctuation but like even in like the way they described it I don't really necessarily understand finances that much but the way they were describing it is that in like every single move they made this one guy wanted to make money every single like there was never you kidnap you couldn't ever show any losses at all this guy would freak out he had like again 7 billion dollars in the mix that's insane yeah yeah he he said in an interview that when they were like asking him about you know you destroy all these people lives he was like you know what about their culpability and all this and he's like well you know I mean they have some responsibility and they like you stole from them he's like yeah but they [ __ ] gave me the money you know yeah his thing was like these people these people are they're not starving that's what it's done yeah we're not talking about people in Africa you know when I was talking about starving villagers we're just talking about people his own son killed himself really yep is one of them kill themself this guy killed himself though we're talking about the nine billion dollar guy he killed himself because you want they wanted him to give back seven they shall live with you [ __ ] that yeah that's so many people's relationship with money there was a kid was actually might not Jones on my drowned oh really yeah might just took too many drugs but there was a New York Knick I forget his name and they were interviewing him about you know these NBA contracts are bananas oh it's fully guaranteed it's one of the league's has fully guaranteed money so now like the NFL where it's like you have this less guaranteed the rest of that you're not getting that [ __ ] so NBA whatever the you know there's salary caps and he played out one of his contracts and I we want to keep you but we can't give you like top end money so you're going to get nine million for next year and then his first interview with the press he was like I mean you know it's going to be tough but I'll see what I know how to make it happen you can be tough to survive on that he was like pretty much yeah I mean I have a family and others like this perspective man you're crazy yeah well yeah cuz if he's going out I mean you know I follow all these kids on Instagram like Cameron Dallas you know who that is no he's like Bush the Millennial hot [ __ ] he's like this hot 18 year old boy and he and his friends they do this you're gonna grace listen they don't have talent they're just like cute boys on Instagram and they do these meet and greets where they meet like gaggles just auditoriums theaters full of like tween pre-adolescent girls and their parents and they hug them and take like chaste pictures and millionaires millionaire he's on a dolce gabbana I know skillset not but know Dallas just they follow them on Instagram and I look at you team boys yeah no and then yes hey to meet the people it is fascinating so there's a there's a Netflix show called chasing cameras yes and I'm obsessed now the thing is that they are spending their money like crazy because I followed them all in Instagram and every week it's like here's my new Ferrari here's a new Lamborghini I'm leasing here's the new house I'm renting and you're like you're not even buying I should buy that house dude yeah equity go yeah yeah there's r18 yeah but they're also like they don't realize that that window of cute girls that were being cute and the girls like you is very limited yeah everybody says out about Kim Kardashian yeah I guess so right but they suck they keep growing new ones you know what I'm saying it's like yeah like in the different strokes and they added like the red haired kid to make the show appealing again talk about the chase or the Kardashian Kardashian so they keep the so now Kylie's being groomed alright I think that's what keeps it going because I think it's all about Kim really yeah it's Kim even though they all about her is a real mother mother a Kris kid is like the matriarch of the did you guys cover her fake ass fake ass photos from Mexico no I think I saw some of the oh or here's the deal they always hire their own paparazzi and the paparazzi pretends to just casually catch them taking pictures but in Mexico there was real paparazzi waiting along with their fake paparazzi so they're fake paparazzi takes the photos and then they edit them they smooth out all the cellulite and all the Foley doesn't have it I mean yeah I mean it's normal human part of him especially a big fat ass like that it's made of fat but it's it's a fake fat ass and it's super obvious in the new pictures looking really get your life cut that's a real one like look at the ones on the left like where in life would you have that's a tumor right it's a full diaper yeah diaper it all is yeah legs are so scrawny and then she has this giant enormous butt so what they would do with Photoshop we stretch out the side to meet the ass so it doesn't look so [ __ ] so it's like yeah that I've got one doctored yeah yeah doctored ones you make it look less preposterous right the real one it just looks like general area gross it's like a did you just a like that what the [ __ ] is that what is that are you doing your is I so ready Rose it's so crazy but it's it's so nuts that someone my age again wants to do that to their body like stuffing something in there I don't know what it is but there's no way in nature you would have those skinny ass legs like that that are total unathletic legs that the collector someone who doesn't work like her sister yeah exactly right there's no muscle I don't know nothing I mean I mean she maybe works out a little bit like we would have scrawny arms this is not an athletic person right you have an ass like that you should be able to jump over the moon right right right that's someone who could do hurdles but she's good so do you think wait but she looks good everywhere else these are all Photoshop let me name there's hard to thing it's hard to say yeah despite everything is fake and when you say she looks good it's like yeah she's not fat right but but that's it everything else is just all sorted today yeah that's a biggest [ __ ] yeah well I mean that's her whole thing she's known for ass like Jennifer Lopez has a legit Latina ass right like that's her real ass yeah her legs match that ass like take a picture you go get ya Jennifer Lopez's ass she's got those big thick mommy sighs yeah yeah yeah smack that's all there that's real you know you look at that you go Oh baby yes that's real that's a real big juicy ass God an egg girl yeah see how her thighs are so thick the yeah yes yeah that's all the motion so that makes sense yeah a hundred percent that's what it's supposed to look like she's a dancer Oh classy hi mom yeah yeah you're right that's dancing all [ __ ] today all her lies a week yes that's an athlete's ass yeah that's a girl who can yeah you do that's a girl who can bounce around and move and you know I mean she magic you gotta watch Kim Kardashian dance on the stage yeah those little spindly legs carrying that diaper around yeah it does look like good baby Dyson we see that all day with our son it totally looks like that's what an ass a big G a real ass is supposed to look like it's not preposterous it's just outstanding yeah yeah I didn't know she had a butt implant that's just something the one that my working one I would say that's a that's a there's there's a photo there that has the the two of them side by side when I first heard over right there that's Jennifer Lopez and Kim Kardashian the one with the white right here here here here okay so you the one on the left is Jennifer Lopez it has a real ass on the right is Kim Kardashian is it yeah when I ask obsessed of the I know you know so much about this no I'm doing it no shoes yeah down the wormhole was a very bizarre thing it is our attraction to shapes is very bizarre to through like like fake tears like we know they're fake that that always astounds me like it's not that they look like bigger breasts they look like big fakers yeah they're the different things you guys like it some guy some guy would say some guys I mean some guys meaning its ton of guys but some guys make that distinction like definitely not into that yeah see but I I mean you've said this before is that you'd prefer hungry tits over big fakers yeah any day hungry hungry little ones yeah need to be fed yeah I would rather give soon fools uh just pasta to those hungry tits then yeah I don't like big fakers man yeah there's something weird about them for sure now trick I will say a really good job of fakes like you can there are some magicians out there yeah that create amazing like they still look you so go those look good yeah but I still prefer real ones no no I just like more I think look I got so body dysmorphia thing yeah because when do you wear it look once you have a baby to your tits get mushy that's it that's just its nature so what should i do should I host them up should I have them reduce talked about first of all no [ __ ] yourself in the weather that kid and our population is going to die off get a mom bod quiet Jesus but it's fine but what you know you got a surrender it's also part of life I know it's the trade-off for making life it's now are these real or are these Lakers I seem excited for the personal trainer and nutritionist I about I'm very much into fitness and clean and healthy body so surprisingly a lot nutritional benefit from recent demons some of which I'm going to read up to now needs welcome yeah she's brewing demon contains over 200 protein I don't know helpful is made of wisdom included contain calcium chloride runic chlorine that's not good for you imagine well in sodium it can be so fancy Wow that a lot and shopping measure those your kid kids on YouTube talking about you can come yeah we should all come well what I like about this because we've had other come eating clips on the show is the science that this woman is pet toy but she's a fitness expert which is kind of neat we don't often have expert yeah what I mean know whatever a fitness expert you can just say you are yeah thanks like being out a little bit yeah and a life coach anybody can say that there's another kid on that sports bra and you're like a [ __ ] fitness my coach things a weird one yeah anyone can sign up for that [ __ ] I was watching Anthony Robbins Instagram stories Tony Robbins is in he's in Australia and he gets out to that with it was a black IP song tonight's gonna be a good night and he's out there yours clapping this big [ __ ] price yeah ma fire and he's like stomping around on her age yeah but it's all like it's it's like he's his energy is kind of for yeah and he's got yes he's a little too wide around the waist which means eating a little too good livin it up a little too much and so yes we're all excited we're gonna prosper here for everybody say I know it makes me crazy and it says out of one of the photos I saved the photo because I was laughing so hard I saved it on my phone because it said Savage is a picture of him and he's dancing around clapping and it just says Savage I'm like settle the [ __ ] down buddy yeah here where is it he uh by the way that life coach things look Savage I thought his Instagram story why is that Savage it's in with his hands in his pocket this all is dad bod relax some sovereign I agree I like Tony Robbins a lot but the fake energy thing if I went to his seminar and he made me [ __ ] stand up and do jumping jacks every five minutes I blow my brains out like that sir giant humans guys giantism or whatever does he actually yeah I said the pituitary gallot aurélie it was like even the jaw you know the facial features so he has like a very mild form of it oh yes I'm seeing as China probably has a part of what his confidence is right every time and every time you slide meeting with the team there's enough pushback on something goes let me show you something that rolling carpet it's like look at that thing slaps that they done and it interns like he's got a point hold up pizza dough yeah it looks like one of those so Cinnabon you buy at the grocery store shelf sure right those are good no there's no good I feel good look how thin you are like open after I've been working it better than Bert still I think oh girl went right back by the way so that that whole way read your comment so do you think oh yeah this is where I just write down pushy amazing you got coming a ball it's a friend to friends like I'm not in a relationship a friend did this for my friend what a nice guy well this is I would say honey I'll come in the bowl here honestly the best ways I stuck it out that we get all I'm just for your sake I was feeling a lot of guys feel that way to watch the I know this is important I'm not into watching people you comment no it's weird outside of porn it's disgusting I think in court by the way when it's like eight dudes in a glass as far my favorite apples you like this Alamo book part well c'mon enough guys hey guys [ __ ] on great Peter and it's like you can tell the real savages in porn who are these like ah and they like they keep it going it's like no big deal but you can also see in the fate that you can read someone's oh yeah when they're like plenty that yeah and they're like flincher of linphea and they're ones with make enthusiasm yeah yeah I mean gnarly but you got to thank the ones that are really into it like no they're not I mean you've got to be so [ __ ] damaged to be like I love a guy tank guy could you Oh mommy you and I didn't what she's going to the camera have 180ml quite mellow smells like bleach oh no don't even more benefits to drinking FINA for women because it'll enjoy antidepressant because it contains melatonin I can just see the audience captain vitamins all right oh no I just got the chills for real oh Jesus don't want to be a drip and Matthew yeah surprisingly no it's not surprising let's see if everybody is a guy who is right what they're writing I produce some of my own streaming videos watch [Music] give me a call if you ever need some straight from the source I hope you at least give the donor a [ __ ] you selfish [ __ ] I have lots of steam when I can unload on those big breasts Jesus why not disable the comments I know she said me rockin would you date her knowing she's drunk to drink so many come shots yeah of course yeah who cares I just have a little bit about that yeah I know about I dated a girl once that she told me that when guys drink fruit juice especially pineapple juice oh yeah it makes your [ __ ] taste better and I was like how many dicks do you have to suck before you figured out yeah like that no what's not life soon is not good okay let's try roast beef the idea that you you've figured that out to trial and error like there's something really delicious about you come today was different what did I have look all over my diet to do an autopsy of it to drank some water and pineapple watch I get some water from hungry did you one thing I don't think you got to see throughout there was a four-month build-up basically to the weigh-ins libertà who is fat weigh-ins where we were Bert Kreischer and I came on I did see a little bit of it on Instagram and on Twitter with the hashtag bird is fat soft like that you see how I mean like we had I want to show you this this is like people would call in or like send in videos saying Bertus at different languages just amazing why is that price is so far Hubbert our Cordova looks of the best guys that are 50 get over but Crawshaw you are a fat ton a constant Tom Segura might and then this was my favorite than this was amazing people that listen to the podcast that teach English as a second language would use the whole fat battle to teach English abroad in different countries just freak you guys out and see how popular this is 11 yeah it went when I mean there was I remember the first time we figured out that anyone was listening it was back when we were with red band so this is like 20 and our left 2011 and we were doing shows and we put out a thing like hey tweet this and the first time that we saw like the next day that it was pages of people tweeting others actually I thought it was like a hundred people this is this thing yeah no I mean I didn't have any idea of it but when they got to this thing and they're coming in from different parts of the world and then we did a thing of hey mommy thanks genes where all goes or you just say that to like the the teller and then we started getting submissions from all over the world all the police but elite leave it in yeah the squad car pulling people over it was oh we had a cops of it he ordered his whole like on on the job he'd used all the inside language to order it now keep in uniform and like it's just bananas man yeah I like you know what I like is the the silliness of it like the fact that all over the world something that's stupid it's a shared joke yeah you know like that's what I like stupid it's got like hundreds of these men like hundreds of them yeah really nice yeah that's it strange right yes there's no podcasting is very odd you're a podcast by the way like I remember doing I'm on like I think episode three or five of your podcast Wow like somebody sent me the thing one so they had they had like it documented all the episode numbers and the gear on like the one of the first five or seven I remember was on your couch in your office at home yeah and you kept tell me to sit forward yeah the house is weird yeah like couch seems like it's a good idea but it's a terrible idea but I wanted to ask you kooky like I remember you said that like you like the Opie and Anthony model of like just talking yeah but how did you did anyone else have one where you're like oh people will listen to this like did you like were you thinking of someone else's podcast like how did you know anybody would listen to one I think Adam Carolla had a podcast he had it at damn I think he did but when he had it it was like a radio show yeah did his like a radio show still does right yeah yeah well that's that's actually the downfall now I think really yeah I think people get they don't want hear commercials in 15 minutes right it's not necessary you know and I think I just like tell Opie and Anthony had just people come in with no structure the a bunch of comics and just hang out and start talking did you ever imagine like that your podcast would be like what's that now is crazy man it is really crazy no there's no way I could have imagined it I wouldn't believed it it's so nuts no it's just canvas yeah I just thought it was fun to do I mean and like I've been people mention it to me all that like when I when I'm in an airport they'll you know they'll mention they're like it just still happens they'll you ever mention the way I saw the weight loss podcast last week and like but I haven't got one episode got more than six million and the other one was like close to 7 million so Craig that's nuts downloads that is no that's them and then there's YouTube views on top of yeah millions on YouTube yeah how did you even know how did you know I mean I think I remember we heard Oh Joe's doing a podcast what is that like he doesn't even hear about something well I started doing it on justin.tv which was like this online webcasting thing way back in the day and what we would do is we would do it live from the greenroom and Joey Diaz really get mad shut that [ __ ] thing off yeah I have a laptop and we'd be streaming from a laptop like from the little webcam so we'd have a little bit this back before laptops had webcams built in yeah so we put a little webcam on top of there and people would like and you were doing that right for all this oh yeah yeah yeah that was a long time ago yeah and then that was probably like 2003 or some low yeah it's really long ago yeah and then when I got back from Colorado I was kind of bummed out and I had to move back to California because my wife is pregnant and you know we couldn't live at altitude because we were like it in the Mount I went to that house I was so happy up there I remember that I went to there to that house when you were checking it out yeah we were doing we were doing comedy works that's right and he drove up there and I was like up this crazy road and you know like a narrow mountain road and at the very top it was like it was beautiful counts of names well for me it was a perfect combination like it was a perfect balance so like these shows were all these people and the UFC all these people yeah then up there just nature and quiet I was like nah this is what I need and you know the Allens myself out sure like just to have enough calm so that all this craziness sort of makes more sense yeah yeah now so the show the podcast obviously has gotten bigger and bigger we've been talking about do we all know people that like you were a well-known guy when I met you for sure but you've gotten considerably more famous but you're not a crazy loon yeah how does that work how does that work you think I don't know what I mean like we all know people that like can't handle same well well I do a lot of really difficult [ __ ] outside of comedy yeah I think that's part of it you think well yeah I think part of it is first of all have zero obsession with Fame like if all my fame went away tomorrow yeah I'd be totally fine with it as long as I have health and as long as I can pursue my interests yeah I'm 100 percent fine with it yeah I'm not really interested in Fame I'm interested in doing a good job yeah like I know that when people come to see me that I have a massive responsibility and I work hard I'm gonna stand up and I work hard on my writing and then have a bad set it will [ __ ] me up for months yeah you know and it'll make me like batten down the hatches and grind harder like I don't take it lightly at all right right so that's part of it too but that's also I do a lot of different stuff like I do yoga I do jujitsu I do archery I do a lot of working out I've been running recently I do difficult [ __ ] and in doing difficult [ __ ] you get humbled when you're getting your ass kicked yeah I run them the mountains near my house yeah it's so [ __ ] hard man like every time I do like I know like that there's people that could do it way better I know there's people in a way better shape and I know that every time I do it I get a little bit better so I just keep pushing at it yeah so I just concentrate I just concentrate on doing difficult things do you think of it sorry good no I was going to say that that's probably a way or way healthy thing of doing so basically you're saying that I'm not focused on my ego and making me a bigger star more famous more famous that's usually what people do right like I got to grow this thing your focus is external which i think is better as a human being yeah I think it's definitely better yeah I think I don't want I have zero focus on being more famous zero right I pass on everything like as far as like doing talk shows again magazine articles or interviews back I pass on every year see yeah good calendar so do you think maybe that these people who don't handle it well it's that their whole focus becomes just that like maybe we hear about them too much like Amy Schumer is a perfect example you hear about her way too much like there's this big Google story I pulled up my Google there's a story about her breaking up with her boyfriend there was a story huh broke up with a boyfriend but why the [ __ ] is at a store nice everything is restored because she's probably got a publicist the publicist wants to make sure you get your name out there all the time guess what people get [ __ ] sick of hearing all yeah it is so if people want answers people sick of hearing me too but if you don't want to hear me yeah you don't yeah it's easy to not hear me like you got to go looking for me to hear me I think the more you put yourself out there especially today with you know it's this is we're not talking about the 1990s like with social media it's so easy to get the word out for all the different things that you want to do that there's no need to do all that other stuff yeah and if you start doing all that other stuff mean you can gain a few new fans but you also get annoying yeah you know we all know we all know people that are just overexposed yeah you know who taught me that Daniel Tosh I was about to bring him up I was about to bring it last yeah and he has that thing he doesn't do talk shows he's the best we talked about it yeah at the improv and he made total sense with me and it really really like cranked home you know real like wow yeah he's like yeah ideals I don't do anything you think sorry good no he's just like usually I'm already famous enough right yeah and he goes because I'm doing an hour a week on a television show tonight they're like they get to see me like sound on TV so I don't need to do more yeah than that like there's millions of viewers watching this thing and also I guess it was thinking being those who like me are already engaged with me what am i annoying the rest of the world yeah you're not into it well my podcast built up 100% from someone telling other people right hundred percent I didn't do anything to promote it I've never done anything I've never done that's bananas yeah I had one big bump on Rolling Stone did a story on me and that was one of the most uncomfortable weeks that guy followed me around and hanging out and staring at me and writing things down yeah like weird but that did give him a bump though yeah it was a bump for sure that gave me a bump but all the other bumps are just it just it was a gradual slow yeah sort of escalation until about maybe two years ago and then it just started really ramping up like ridiculously yeah many millions more per month every month millions more and it started getting scary we referred to like I'll talk to other people about it to about your model of I feel like it's definitely one of like your ideas just hit them with content in other words yeah just put stuff out there all the time because that's like every week I mean I'll just be on Instagram and I'll see you're like just yet a physicist on and you have a comedian on then you have a [ __ ] hunter on and I'm just like well I'm just putting stuff out there and then whatever you want consume it but it's also honestly it's selfish because these are all just people that I want to talk yeah so if I Lawrence Krauss in the studio who's a theoretical physicist I have questions I want to ask him about the you know the birth of the universe yeah but what he thinks the the boundaries of infinity are and all these different in fascinating people so I have these one-on-one conversations with no interruptions for three hours yeah with someone who you'd never get a chance to do that in real life as if you were at a dinner table with them they would get up to go to the bathroom they check their phone other people would chime in someone else would come over with your own conversation just you and them alone in a room just staring at each other and you get you get an education through that I've got I become a much better conversationalist I think I understand people better I get I understand motives better I understand interaction better I understand ego I understand I all kinds of weird stuff you pick up it's like data chunking you know you just sort of recognize patterns and people yeah applying them I just have a much better understanding of myself and of people in and of being a good conversationalist yeah you've got you're definitely highly skilled at it now I mean not that you weren't before but I mean I think it's obvious like that's a skill you develop because you work on it all the time what's crazy because I never thought it was a skill yeah I never before I started doing podcast I would never thought being a conversationalist is a skill yeah I would have thought yeah you just talk to people you know I notice it more like if somebody that does podcasts a lot when I watch especially if I watch a television interview I can tell or I listen in the bug on the radio I can hear that oh this host is a giver like a gracious host letting his subject you know say what you have to say and I can also feel like oh the host is trying to dominate yeah you take up on it and this he's making it about himself all the time that is an issue with people yeah like sometimes someone will interrupt a really good story and take a sidetrack where they talk about them settling they have an opportunity to talk about themselves but you're in the middle of a story O'Brien you've done this yeah now and it just becomes a real problem yeah yes a lack of awareness and a clumsiness can really sabotage and throw a monkey wrench into the gears of a conversation yeah and it makes it real awkward cuz the other person's aware of it and they're trying to be gracious and get through it and then you know it's just when someone else is talking when two people are having a conversation and someone else is just kind of like clunky like it affects the way you're able to communicate so like as a host of a podcast we're having a conversation with someone part of the skill of it is like trying to figure out how to get that person the most comfortable and the most relaxed and then the most like asked the questions with enough economy of words to get them to express themselves the cleanest right that's why I don't like participating in or listening to podcasts with too many mic yeah I like on them they get rowers yeah they get right it's too much and and and usually what happens is at least for me as a listener of one of them I'll be like every interesting point that I was looking for like I can hear coming gets derailed young like taking them like well gives me anxiety even watching CNN sometimes oh yeah but and there's like six people on there yeah oh my gosh when I hear one one person do always honor all this he's been given too much - Anna does like nine sometimes yes too many ekend they're all so they're all just like trying to get their soundbite in you know obvious I was watching something on Trump the other day it was just [ __ ] gross what do you think about that well this whole current state of things of come it's what happens when you get a guy who does not understand what being president is and is used to running businesses and then all of a sudden you let him run the president's and he's trying to run it like a business yeah it was firing people that he doesn't agree with like yeah I didn't know that the president could just fire the FBI chief like that yeah I didn't know it either but like when he fired call me and yeah like the guys are he's a real pain in my ass this investigation like that why I get so obviously obstruction of justice I think he has like an obvious really wide-ranging liberties when it comes to hiring and firing as praising yeah and I didn't know about that I doubt until this happened yeah well cuz most people have the good sense not to do things like that because it looks bad as well be suspicious people forget though the clinton did the same thing clinton fired the head of the FBI as well and he fired him in the middle of an investigation I forget what the investigation was I forget what the circumstances were but it wasn't as egregious but it was pretty similar this feels like I mean at least from the outside it does feel like you know every day it feels like this is heating up into some like major scandal who knows because evidence-wise I know it's always pointed out that we don't have any you know smoking gun yet but it does feel like it's cooking up into something you know I don't know I think everybody wants it to that has that sense - it's either here's a question like what's inappropriate and what's illegal and I think a lot of it's been inappropriate but how much of it is illegal true like sam harris has a podcast where he had these uh political experts on talking about what trump did when he had those Russians over the White House and he gave them top-secret classified information about Isis wanting to use laptops to blow planes up yeah and he's like hey you know when you do that you've compromised all these people that were embedded in Isis yeah that we're telling that the government about this plan that they have sure now they have to get these people out and hope these people don't get assassinated like you can't like in thinking and him thinking that he's sharing information like you know what you're not secret yeah like what you're doing is you're exposing sources and it's and you know it's obvious to that like he's the type of guy that loves having that share a secret moment like I'm sure he was like yeah say something well that's the whole thing with Comey like you know like you wanted to hug them yeah you want to say look I hope you can let this go yeah he's like telling someone to let go a criminal investigation cremains it being compromised by Russia yeah and apparently were warned that that Flynn guy was he was compromised by Russia before he even got an Ave they were they was worn books by the Obama administration and then when when Yates came over the the Deputy Attorney General and warned Trump's lawyer about it they still didn't act for another week or two she was a gangster and those [ __ ] here yes she was she was so good she because she did they were trying to chip away at her yeah and she was like look what I'm going up yeah got schooling them on the Constitution schooling them on Law School in them on ethics and about her responsibility to the American people like now I'm not going to institute a travel ban on Muslims yeah your [ __ ] mind yeah I didn't do that this is a country of immigrants you wanted me to do a travel ban so extending it yeah you know it is like he's like a murderer and you know and they all get caught because they brag about [ __ ] like he couldn't help himself talking about Isis probably like I got something good I got a share a brag about the [ __ ] I love now all the reports about how they go it's really difficult because of his short attention span and he has a tendency to be easily distracted he's like visual aids - okay you if you talk about something you have to show pictures to him like he wakes up and winds down with cable news and he brags that I don't read he's like don't like reading not a realist you know another thing is hilarious who want to talk about the shows that he watches they're number one because everyone knows I'm watching oh right him saying that everyone knows that he's watching these FoxNews chefs fine it's it's hilarious that he believes that that's why they're number one but we've never had a president like imagine if Obama did that Obama said well the reason why this shows number one is because I watch it yeah everyone knows that I'm amazing yeah hey what everyone loves Obama yeah he loves Obama yeah I love him always nothing good yeah I was talking about Kanye Kanye loves Trump he loves Trump yeah you know everyone was come but the fact that he talks about himself like he's [ __ ] Roy Jones jr. yeah Jones is in his prime yeah and Roy Jones didn't mean he was the baddest [ __ ] on the planet he was talking about it in his prime it was a way to establish that he was it means a psychological thing yeah like when Roy Jones jr. gets out there Roy Jones jr. gonna take care of business yes you know Edwards like okay yeah yeah it would be like a separate power almost right yeah I got talking about this other aspect of myself yeah he was talking about like this this superhuman force yeah that was Roy Jones do you know what targets on stage I got to go rock the house Compton girl box the [ __ ] yeah I wonder how many presidents in the past were this psychotic but because of Twitter maybe but maybe it's because of things like Twitter that we now see inside I mean what if Nixon was just batshit crazy too but because a limited act you ever seeing that elio Nixon tapes that's great what they play the actual team now I it's really great well he had a drunken moment with a it's a famous drunken moment with a reporter where he was talking about how he has the power to just go into a room and make the decision to kill six million people with a nuclear bomb and that you know that that hangs over him yeah apparently he was intoxicated when he was talking about this this this nuclear option power that's another very terrifying thing president and Crenna the president really does have legitimate power to to wipe out to wipe out him to use nukes I mean he has a lot more power than we thought they did because there's so much restraint yeah showed by Clinton even by Bush believe it or not yeah like Bush's even criticized the Trump administration which is crazy yeah yes no choice I mean bushings like [ __ ] like a like a liberal Daisy right compared so reasonable einstein compared you well the supreme court when the supreme court ruled against one of trumps things and Trump's like a see in court you know whereas they dude that was court yeah okay that was the best a premium course man but like Bush they showed this clip of Bush losing a similar ruling to the supreme supreme court yeah and his reaction to it was so reasonable yeah it was like well we have to respect the court in the court's decision and this is just the way it is and yeah although I'm disappointed I understand that they're doing their best in light a big part of it I do think you're right though is the lack of Twitter restraint because nobody would ever act like that I know they had sort later there was an article that said they had an intervention last week yeah they're like you're making it harder for yourself and there and they were like and they showed him with visual aids like when you tweeted this and then this was the pushback and these were the articles written afterwards like you got a [ __ ] stop no it's hilarious it is I who knows it's good in that we need to know that this is a stupid [ __ ] position that no one should really have right no once you really have the ability to just be the top chimp over 300 plus million people it's crazy to give anybody that power there's no reason to unless you raise a philosopher king yeah even if philosopher king is subject to that you mean if he has an ego and if he's a human being he is the same possibility of going out of their [ __ ] minds just it's just too much what why risk it it's just there should be way more checks and balances employees yeah we have to be nutty to even want to be President of course I think it's an absurd job they're all they're all megalomania yeah no way man bleep at night who knows could be next maybe Glen moon hi Glen moon officially announced my candidacy Armed Forces commander-in-chief office president United States of America if elected I will serve holy will of God and name Jesus Christ and power holy spirit from God a name Jesus Christ both moan USA president 2012 November oh he didn't make it honey I don't usually come back man email person self-described 18 year old former student Franklin or Churchill high school I met earlier this year 2011 library Livonia if anyone knows Amy whom I last saw entering her friend's house on Six Mile Road service drive Webster farm to road after I drove her there and my motor vehicle from library I would appreciate you giving her my facebook address URL I could use some help securing 18 to 20 year old vote Wow yeah well he's doing the sign across one he did not have yeah that helps yes Ben residence there's some loons I have you know what do you do with those shoot them in a hat or let them live I think you got to let them live until they until they show up at the address yeah we have to keep them in containment though that's a problem Reagan let them loose and we need to re get real and in a little bit there needs to be a park yeah what have Reagan if you lowered the far-right UD institutionalized the mentally ill so unleash them on the street and it crazy because he's a guy got shot by a man only a little pricey yeah right out now yeah how in these out now he has a like some type of super but he's out but he has like supervised he has to go I think to it's his mother's house or something and but he's yeah he's not in a prison yeah so weird how old is he though he's probably in the 60s oh yeah I can still kill yeah oh yeah I'm for sure yeah it's a it's a bad job and it's not it's not a smart job it was a job that made sense back when we were dealing with Kings and we said well let's have an elected representative instead of a king so it was a superior alternative then we had all these checks and balances like representative government having senators and congressmen and all these different people they were there to make decisions for the individual states and the individual individual states could have their own laws and regulations and it was it was a fairly good system for the time but when you deal with electronic media and our ability to gather information instantaneously like you know and communicate information like there's no reason why we shouldn't be able to vote online no no none we should all be able to vote online I think their education should be super easy the very least uh you know all these I didn't know but all these all these European countries do weekend voting for national elections and it ups their turnouts I like yeah that's a claim for sale yeah that's a great idea as well there's a lot of data a election yeah they don't want that go right they literally don't want any more participation because first of all one of the things you're seeing with Trump that's really disturbing is you're seeing the rise of the [ __ ] class yeah like there are a lot of [ __ ] out there that we're never represented and they don't necessarily agree with his politics but they have like an identity thing now it's it's more like they're in a group of like-minded people than it is even it's like a political party it's like a cult it's a douchebag cult yeah I know you're talking about see them on TV legit like there's a lot of people that are enjoying this because the they're on team yeah and it's like whether they're rooting for the [ __ ] dolphins or they're rooting for Trump it's kind of the same thing they identify with a clan right this clan of people are Trump supporters right-wingers whatever they're doing but it's did they just happen to be Trump supporters and D hangers they could be anything else it's just people love to be in a support group of like-minded Souls yeah but it agreed to a certain thing I don't think they also like I noticed during the campaigns it was it seemed like it was a lot more just [ __ ] the other team yeah kind of thing it wasn't like about like he makes sense on these points and that was just like [ __ ] you guys could you imagine if Hillary got in the office and was doing all the same things that Trump has done as far as like giving away classified information to Russia compromising sources and firing the head of the FBI because he was investigating her but you lock her up lock her up lock her up all that was like a big chant during the campaign remember yeah yeah well he's done [ __ ] way worse yeah why worse or more why worse or yes he's got my word for that brother from cliff oh now that Japanese gypsies yeah they're like they're total white trash people and she's just fighting with some other woman she's like okay [ __ ] just got why works her you know you know what else is interesting um that I was listening to the Sam Harris podcast they were talking about I like that the runs are good yeah he's amazing the real the real interesting issue is the ebb and flow of support and that if the pro Trump media unitedly turned on him because there was some speculations they were upset the Trump was doing some things some intervention things in foreign countries and mingling meddling and other affairs that they didn't want they wanted more of a separatist sort of like the United States can take care of itself and [ __ ] all those other countries but when we started bombing Syria we dropped the Moab bomb and all this different stuff there's a lot of people that express some like there's some discontent well yeah this is not what we want it's not only sign up right yeah if it turns and they United as a united front turn on Trump the very people that support them which by the way could absolutely happen for your when you're a guy who like you mobilizes those armies those armies of [ __ ] there's their subject to turn you especially if you're clearly an [ __ ] yourself sure if he does enough [ __ ] ish things and then one day they just decide to turn on him they were talking about this like this could be catastrophic sheriff for his campaign yeah like it literally could the very people that put him in office this same group if they have someone who represents them better whether it's a Ron Paul or someone else someone who they can get with philosophically but they don't think like what for whatever reason they just decide they don't like them any ax which can easily happen totally well it can happen T because I don't think Trump really believes all the crap that he was saying that he was behind like do you really think he's anti-abortion like how many abortions does that [ __ ] probably paid for himself you know I mean like he's not about all the stuff that do you really believe in I think he I think you know I know what he's a he's a great user given credit for being the super talented self promoter many people challenge galvanizing that telling things in the moment yeah I don't think he blues y'all even I know that he's definitely lost at least a segment of people this past week with having his first foreign trip to Saudi Arabia there's a lot of people that were I mean I'm talking about like very very hardcore you know far right people that were upset that like what are you doing going there and your first foreign trip you should be having them pay us back for 9/11 you should you know why are you basically mingling with them negotiating an arms deal I mean it's just there's going to be things that pop up every week that people will you know get upset about have you seen a picture Trump and that Saudi Arabian guy and some other dude holding on to that glowing yeah so create is that going bad on that what is that a love a global on globe yeah it's like show it's funny too because he was like the anti-globalist campaign guys yeah like America first nationalism and then now it's like it's a global but it's all about the world is it with these people once they get into office even Obama once I got into office I became kind of a different person I think well especially like when you're in that first term you know you I think everything just shifts to like I got I gotta get that second term that's all they care about I mean he's that's it I think that's a big part of it because they especially like the one thing I will say I think I noticed with Trump is I think at the end of the day I don't think he cares about anything other than winning winning the campaign winning votes winning for him he's a I think he's a highly highly highly competitive guy and to him it's just like everything is about it's a victory whether it's this executive order sign this is like a victory you know the the the when the healthcare thing went down that was considered a loss I think that would probably was suit like destructive to his whole psyche and I think all he wants is to win again have another shot at the presidency again only because it means he won not because he really cares about being president I think he just wants to win then yeah it could be yeah I'm enjoying the campaign at like the sorry the coverage of Melania hating him like there's there's a range of like he tries to hold her hand and she swats it away and [ __ ] like that and yeah I think you know there's a lot I read they reach obviously for anything right like if you're pressing is like the level of scrutiny on everything it's like they were holding hands and then they let go and they're like she swatted it anyway yeah they want there is a great animated gif though where he looks over at her that smiling then he turns away gee like yeah she's like that's that the inauguration yeah that's amazing it's weird it is weird what do you like as I read so clearly too it's like you can say a lot of these things are but that seems so much to see like well that seems legit and also the fact that she doesn't live there yeah well [ __ ] would you want to she just you know that's not what she signed up for you know what she signed up for she signed up for some BJ's and some scrilla yeah you know saying some Fendi bag it's absolutely right that's right drinking your TSP a day and then what's dick can you start right let me think about it's a great gig yeah he's probably only a horny a couple days a week old yeah 75 or something time yeah you only probably get it up if you do even with Viagra yeah we only wants [ __ ] a few days a week yeah and then the rest of days a week she's driving Rolls Royces are New York yeah my gromp so he's right here right and like so he's going to turn back smile big smile right yeah but you forget she's my tribe this is actually the coldness of the Eastern Bloc er as well like my stepmother had a little of that a little a lot yeah yeah so do you think it's also like part of the reason why she accepted this position life in the first place it's like there's like a like a pragmatism like a cold pragmatism with this is a good move of course yeah well she was a hot chick right she's like I'm not at all so that's what you got to do it's you know you can't model forever pictures of her and lesbian sort of photoshoot type thing another suited model yes as you did some nude modeling hot looking lady yeah nudie pics of our first lady that's crazy that's crazy I crazy if there was like pothole pics yeah she liked it spread them shout out looks like a string of spit yeah a finger and we're back to your mind I got serious for a minute but we got back to the important stuff quick oh yeah we're living into one of the weirdest times ever in human history is yeah cuz it's total uncharted territory yeah it was that Miss Glasson just classroom dude that's become in the hunting community yeah it's become a giant punch line it is all over I guess ain't you that meat eater neither yeah they said we're going to beat you guys to the punch line and they said it there's a glass and yeah yeah today it's a beautiful photo there look overlooking yeah incredible landscape and everybody just say just glass and you know that like when that satifying you know we have all these like little inside jokes that one went like Bonanza crazy haywire it went haywire you know people brought binoculars to my shows in New York this is why this is why I came up here I would sleep in long there's been huge metal that's a big amount all metal we could slip along miss Glasson just classic class also I had been on my Doubtfire and this also opened up a whole new world for us which was the excitement of a dad boner like when a dad gets really excited about dad enthusiasm not any other kind they didn't comment as well yeah because usually for something that nobody would get that excited about except for that well you know he's a very famous bar and I claimed I figured that out before emailing that's like that's not good friend I did not tell you I told you to uh he's I watch him on TV oh yeah you just watch his show yeah and he saw a glasses the whole look what I've killed everything in the world with a comp I read I read about him after yeah he's like killed the animal kingdom yeah he's killed Noah's Ark with yeah turbo a recurve bow is like a traditional old-school bow it's like legit through this oh yeah he's one of the best bow hunters in the world we recognized yeah so does he know about this I don't know I know we email yeah we reached out my research guys how upset and all these people are all swearing yeah are we super nice I remember that yeah yeah he had that one he had a video where he goes any Spanx a little cub bear that there's a little bear eating out of like a dumpster by his house and he ran up and spanked it and got all excited about it actually yeah he's like way out in the wilderness I believe he lives in Colorado I think that's it yeah glass we have ultimate another so we we started to look for dads that get excited about things you know like that we consider him in that category and like so like there's you know what faux MERS are no foamer 's are people to get like not getting really into trains and they like will wait at train stations for trains to drive by and they [ __ ] get really excited called bone marrow Dan York once again on the SNC yeah so I'm trying coming here southbound North Creek they get really into it in wow that's cool well that sounds what what oh my gosh oh my god it sounds like an elk oh oh 1943's - Wow psst [Music] Wow oh man yeah okay Harry take that away Wow so these guys just will wait for trains like hours oh my Vania I'm so excited about that train right I'm excited don't you kind of envy this guy's ability to get super stoked on something so dumb no that guy needs to find [ __ ] yeah [ __ ] [ __ ] me again you just abandon all those numbers you can't rattle it's ah f four five six to nine here's the solar matter dad certainly benign look at this oh my god it's come yet the moon shadow is coming it is coming early watching from plan yeah my god here it comes look at this I never seen it like this no flashes oh my god here we go look at it oh my god whoa look at that oh my god here we go oh my god it's coming right over a second star look at this oh my god we're getting close getting close he'll filter some I got Corona that is time guys be very big diamond ring look at that through a totality oh my God look at that I mean it's cool indeed that makes sense yet maybe that's just manases feminism that matures all look at down there that's badass it is VBS prereq call that's a prayer look at that clattering look at that oh my god but he does telling he's now telling his pants okay why don't you took that flight specifically to see that you're writing the exact guy seemed so into it so much knowledge you can't doesn't seem like a casual trip I think by far the craziest one that we found we've been sent a lot of these things is this [ __ ] guy I'm getting excited about something so goddamn mundane trans-canada highway yeah god I love this one I finally found the last section hey okay okay well we are in beautiful 728 this is in fact the very place I mean this is and it sucks unfortunately oh right yeah I like it it makes me happy every time I made you happy because I lack that enthusiasm for the road like this guys found a way to get pumped on something so benign see my money rain decided about I get excited about a lot of [ __ ] but this did with this guy I see that and I go okay I want to talk to that guy about normal life that has got to come up normal conversation where he falls apart yeah like this is my normal [ __ ] we talked to this guy about and he's got some weird disconnecting well I don't like to talk about bathrooms right and this is sublimating all that weird yeah he's finding the client he's bottle necking somewhere yes and you're right about the lack of sexual intercourse there's no this guy's gay or any of these dad but that's why they're dads because I'm sure their dads like I might be a loner well yeah I think we're labeling dad yeah you calling them dads cuz they're older guys yes I'm assuming that they're they've shut it down or their wives have shut it down life has a very short haircut and she's wearing culottes and sandals you know what I mean like they're just full shut down yeah ladies and gentlemen your trans-canada highway this is yours Canada it would be something that largely what Larry if you heard bang and you see this video dedicated all the men the women who made this great possibly Great Highway possible thank you and all caps information points it's just whoa those noises that were like oh gangbang yeah I mean that's for a highway being completed I almost feel like he's seen every stretch of it right like that's the thing this is like the completion of ten years of traveling this [ __ ] highway and documenting maybe I'd like to think of the backstory yeah would you care for the construction was he part of it somehow I had a guy on my podcast Chris Cage who's walked to Appalachian Trail you know the Appalachian Trail is yeah it's all through the Carolinas right yeah you start in Georgia and it goes all the way to Maine he walked it it's like six months of walking whoa yeah yeah and this was like a dream like his Jesus I don't know he had it in his head that he wanted to do it how did he eat that he brings out of the woodwork you bring food you buy food along the way you bring some food hmm I only concern now you say you get excited you saying that I don't get it then I have an email from a listener I thought would be a nice time okay dear mommy Tina I completely understand your need for time to have enthusiasm as my fiance is just as chill and unexcited as Tom there is nothing more educating them being excited for something and only getting a smile from my man that just proves that you are the personality champ personality is all about getting excited having different moods and responding accordingly to other people clearly Tom doesn't have what it takes to be considered a champ it's all you PS I also get farted on and treating like treated like a sister we are definitely in the weird territory I feel like this only happens with couples who are on the same playing field lots of love Hannah thank you fans huge mistake giving out your email address you smell so good but they're going to get more from Hannah now and Tana's gonna start crying for sure I caught him farting on my sister thinks getting weird I can't believe you think I don't get excited by and you sell them I mean we discover that Tom gets excited about football but I mean inter the seldom is there a big I mean you've known him for years - and excited when he goes it goes the shows and he does a great show I do like excited how do you express your enthusiasm for it like a Jerry [ __ ] show yeah you can tell you get pumped yeah yeah I do I get a rush what does pump look like from Tom Joe I like cars like excited about coming I was getting started I saw I saw one of his cars and I got I was used to seeing that he had a video camera I was like I was glowing at the thing so I like ours by car magazines and what that's true okay that's true yeah yeah all the Corvette right yeah but yeah so cool you do look good yeah thank you there you go you farted this morning horrendously this morning no other last night really buff way yeah I'm excited about that tour you changed no I was a we made sweet marital relations and then afterwards we were you know whatever lay around and he goes you know you're lucky I go why because what held enough art for you that whole time yeah and I go wow what a lucky gal I and I think like I should get credit for that I feel like right I feel like some guys will let that go and I was like nope like don't do that right now oh yeah I just settled in you know and I was like nah don't let's go right now that's beautiful yeah see you can appreciate it amazing what you're I get excited yeah talking about this but you guys would now would your wife be would she consider it nice to you that you know do you hold them in order yeah I try my best yeah and if I do accidentally let one go I'd let everybody know get out of the way yeah the way everybody clear house yeah yeah you got ladies around your little girls right so yeah house for with girls yeah oh that's right a gentleman I got the opposites all dicks obey for take some balls and fart but in this camp don't you think that you get material out of that that's probably a blessing blessing in the skies and I I'm used to it I mean I'm more male energy I'm not good with you know we haven't done this during the show you need to do this what Christina my big announcement this means there's a big announcement major I'm so excited this is down that's just being poured into a bowl that means if there's a big news coming oh the sound cue you know how like morning shows will have like air horns or whatever we have chips in the bowl chip in a bowl what kind to those thing the potato chips being ported it's so loud it sounds like like yeah I thought it was gambling chips yeah oh right not never phone I think no I don't think there's a distinction made it's so klinke it is yeah I think there's a thin lake and that's the world I see when I learned yeah yep anyway it's big news I'm finally shooting my hour special when you shooting it all right here it is the announcement can finally make it June 24th at the Showbox Theatre in Seattle tickets are on thousand ranch calm and the link is up it is active so you can get those tickets now please mommies let's pack it out so I can have a great taping there's two shows seven and 9:30 bang bang in this year and the great city of meat rattle I can't wait to go there was so many mommies they're gonna be awesome and I'm and very happy for you thanks I have Seattle's on the short list of places I would live outside of LA as yes same as me I like they're very I'll get through the winter I just go to Hawaii a couple of times or some get through that [ __ ] rainy [ __ ] yeah they're here so once you get through that I think like intellectually I think it's one of the best cities like people they're not pretentious they're but they're smart there's no showbiz influence yes I think is one of the things that [ __ ] us up here yeah is the desire for fame like it's a there's a total absence of that up there you see way less fake yep fake tits fake lips fake ass yes people only whistle it was like people it's a really cool City I am I didn't realize you know sometimes you just see like one thing in a theatre and so you you don't know if you've been there before I did the more and I didn't realize until afterwards when I went to the lobby that I'd been there with you because allow ya did out to me I didn't really have been here before in Seattle hi I did it a couple weeks ago and as we were in there they'll you've been he was like never been here before and then we got to lobby I was like I have been here before because I'm ever doing like a meet and greet with you with uh yeah we've done so many places do I forget or get them all yeah I'll get they blend in but Seattle I mean every time I've gone there I've had samos fun shows fabric yeah that's why I chose that city I mean I you know la is obviously my heart yeah although well what you think the the showbiz element that is the problems it's the problem there's not just a showbiz element but the problem you were talking about what's out Instagram kids and the Kardashians they're not necessarily even showbiz they're like at the attention in district the attention industry yeah it's like there's so much fake [ __ ] and so much like flossy sense crazy yeah I mean I feel like Seattle is bases Microsoft and Amazon and there's a lot of tech money there and a lot of really smart people yeah and it's also super green and I feel like being next to the ocean and super green like seeing a lot of green mountains yeah is something about that's just better for you yes definitely so too for your brain is a very like kind of showy town you know that we live in it's like a very like show off thing I think one of the funny things is like the idea like that you think you have money in this town like people who are trying to come across that way and then you go to a town like Seattle we're like now those those 22 people are at billionaires yeah and then they're not even trying to show you yeah they were they're wearing like a sweater yeah yeah you're like that Bill Gates dressed like a [ __ ] neck area yeah baby show you that yeah yes it's odd right it is uh what are you doing with all that money he but he does a lot of humanitarian tons of it that's incredible what he's done and he got a lot of other super wealthy people to donate their money a lot of them yeah like they do that to pledge well how about Warren Buffett he's giving it all that in the through gates he got it through gates yeah he's interesting cat like he's literally when he dies he will die and leave it all to charity yeah so that's and he's been giving a lot some of those guys they've been giving billions as they're alive even yeah yeah Warren Buffett also lives in like the same house that he bought like third Omaha Nebraska it's a super normal house yeah you drove the same car for like 20 years oh I have all that money to understand its aren't you [ __ ] flossing he's in a ball on the web but his level you should definitely be falling slightly a little bit if he married the same lady I think you boring you got the wrong yeah she got like 1.5 billion which to him was like goblet get outta here nagging at me yeah take a little 1 billion 12 billion dot man yeah yeah he's still doing pretty well now Jude or kitties that's a great city too yeah I love you dork today yeah that's what we call it on a cow yeah that's a place that I would consider living okay living in New York City not in the winter months yeah it doesn't bother me that much Wow I I think it's all about one thing is like in LA after a while even though compared to most of the country lifestyle you know cost of living is much higher it's still significantly different than New York and like I would only go there if I could definitely live at least pretty comfortably you know I mean I got [ __ ] baller yeah yeah oh yeah you don't struggle in New York yeah my wife once she's talked about moving there that's like one place where she said she would go like if you want to go there I'll go there really yeah I just I think she just thinks it's like a big glamour shopping trip though yeah well she looks at it hey babe yeah well she's right what I mean like the incredible alcohol I couldn't take the other cold rough oh my god [ __ ] you know you just dress warm it's not that difficult so you've been doing like eight spot tonight I know that you yeah maybe but not I don't like that many spots as much as I like longer spots right I think longer spots like too long spotted tick to one half our spots over 850 and angry because as far like developing material I think it's really important to to stretch out a little bit because you're creating like you've composing something you putting something together a peak in a valley and yeah you know Diaz and I had a conversation about that yesterday's like I got to go to more places where I could work an hour he goes because sometimes I'm home for a month I don't go on the road I don't do an hour set and I got to go do an hour set true I got a piece it all together like that make sense I don't like the short spots and especially if you if you're touring a lot like I have been and you're doing that long set every night yeah I don't particularly get a thrill out of a 15-minute spot I feel like it feels like I mean I understand it's a totally different thing and it becomes like a different skill set but it doesn't even feel that rewarding because like the benefit is like doesn't feel like it like lines up with what I'm doing yeah you're just getting cooking yeah yeah you're just getting started and the light goes on yeah all right yeah yeah yeah I know you're saying but to me I treat them as blocks like I have four 15-minute blocks yeah and so like like I'm doing a set tonight I'll say okay well I did this block last night tonight I'll do this but that's true you know and then one of the cool things about LA is that I can do 3 or 4 blocks a night like I'll do one set at the improv and I'll do two sets of the Comedy Store I did three set of the common store one set of the improv on two Thursday's ago and you had like killer ages that's yeah well no one of one different to the same and one was the Jeremiah Watkins around yeah I'm doing that next month that's a great show and we've never done it I was the best people to yell out a subject and then you start riffing on the subject it's the better you yell out huh oh yeah hats yeah yep yep and you start talking about it and you come up with material and punchlines you come up with tag lines you come up with like you might like have a section of something that you rant about that doesn't fit anything and then one day you have a new bit and then you go all of them there's that thing that I did on stay at night Network it slides right into there I'm a big believer in that it's not that hard you know relatively speaking to say something like a joke or something funny it's much more of a challenge to come up with an interesting topic or premise yes you know so that's what I got that that show sounds exciting yeah I feel like drowning like talk about this topic yeah premises are giant premises are giant and a point of view is giant and then from there I feel like it's like that's the scaffolding that you'll add jokes to you'll figure out a way to make it funny and figure out a way to just do it the right way and for me one of the things that I started doing really recently that really made a big difference is I'll have a bit even if the bits killing and I know it DySP it's going well just developing well I will outside of stand-up I'll sit in front of my computer and just write on that subject write on it in a completely different way and like say if I approach it from one like say like you're talking about going on a boat you're approaching from this way then I'll just approach from a completely different way and just say okay well this is already in the can this one's done alright I've got it so let me just try a to attack on it and I've come up with so many different punch lines coming at it from a different angle but forcing myself to sit in front of the computer yeah and you know I use that program right room you ever showed you that program blacks everything up blacks everything out gives you green font so it's like the matrix font yeah and I just sit there and I can't access email I don't get notifications nothing so when you when you write from a different angle will you then in your bit do the chunk that works and then be like or what if somebody's and then like also and present the other angle or sometimes it fits in sometimes I just find a way by where that it's in yeah but it's just it's just creating more tag lines more tag lines more punch line so you're at you have a new hour though right yeah yeah yeah how long didn't take you that long x months damn yeah that's awesome every day impossible yeah yeah I've seen you as yeah it's a good lesson I think for a lot a lot of comics like you it came out and then you didn't haven't chilled at all on that you just like work I've seen you I see on posts all the time that you just like spot spot like working working working all the time you know I do five or six nights a week lately at least at least four always at least four really well like I worked last night I took off tonight I wear Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday I got a hot date with the wife and then I'll probably work Sunday too and then I'll go out it again next week and you're doing by the way congrats on this tour because I saw it's a big time [ __ ] man crazy it's crazy we do in the theater at Madison Square Garden yeah yeah homey it's all sold out not to remain like 7,000 seats or something some some crazy something easiest Alice was nuts meant Alice was I just did Dallas it was the biggest place ever sold out that was 6,000 seats Wow it was maniacal that crazy the energy that you get how do you like it because it's a total different thing from 1500 or 2000 seater it's different it's a different thing but the energy when you get six thousand people laughing isn't raising yeah it's weird it's just it's a roar so it's a different feeling yeah but you know man I just I really like creating stuff yeah I really like putting together stand-up you know and I really loved the process of writing things down and like going over my notes I love the process of creating new material I love the process of sitting in front of that laptop and staring at the screen I love the whole process I love the process of going on a run and like recording a new idea that I have in my head and then looking at the notes that I have on my phone and then breaking those down on paper and then sitting in front of a laptop and then taking these ideas smoking a joint going onstage with it and riffing with it and then recording it and listening to the recording on the way home it's like the whole process to me is is I've it's my favorite thing to do it really is other you know me too I think it is like the biggest thrill I was talking to somebody about it that like I think the biggest thrill still of all things is coming up with something new and having it be you know validated and rewarded you're like that's a bigger thrill than anything yeah really is like I thought of this thing I said it and group of people reacted and then abandoning it yeah you have to after you do a record especially like somebody yelled out like do the Kim Kardashian bit the Bruce Jenner bit I'm like did I even know how to do it anymore I literally don't know how to do it people under Lee Ann that only comics understand yeah there you go I've been doing this other thing for so long now that I don't remember the beats of that yeah somebody try to get I started to do one and I was like 30% through it and I don't know what happens next audience yelled out the next line I was like well there you go you guys know oh yes even as I'm ramping up to tape it in a month like I have to sit down and really go through my notes and really remember every little bump to it and bell and whistle coz or forget the cadence you can get away without doing that but make no mistake about it the more attention you spend thinking about that material the better it'll get most definitely yeah and I have to get full focus like I can't [ __ ] around with anything like it's laser until that date and then you know what I know it's really kind of weird I know guys that write on shows and they'll write sitcom scripts and they'll write movie scripts and then they they have like a chalkboard they write or a whiteboard and they're right on the whiteboard will have no to put like scenes different scenes but they don't ever do that about their own act right and and then their their their own act they treat like you know like a redheaded stepchild and never really they never really have that kind of professional focus because you don't have to because no one's telling you to right when it comes to like writing a show or writing a movie deeds you have to you have to write that because everyone's going over bit by bit you have writers meetings you go to the writers room sit down people there's no writers room or writers meetings for stand-up but why isn't there like why why don't we because we're [ __ ] lazy my discipline its self discipline and also it's hard to look at yourself and look and step back and separate you from your work and don't know that kind of sucked like that can be better I shouldn't list there you know what I love the most is knowing that I'm about to say some crazy [ __ ] like when you're like you take the risk and you're higher you're like oh so scare this could be really I shouldn't say that say yeah you get addicted to that feeling yeah I like that like I'm going to take a leap right here yeah this is scary yeah hopefully they'll come with me cuz it's not just talking about airplanes and cats and dogs you know say some crazy [ __ ] yeah and they and then that's quite there's there is that risk risk is what the is that feeling of like yeah this is parachute okay yeah and then the like it's you don't think about it at the time but the knowing that a bunch of people are getting babysitters they're spending their money they're coming out to see you and there's this massive responsibility to incite a reaction in them yeah with just your words and thoughts the amount of responsibility that's on you and that it's pretty intense I've paid more attention to it over the last year or so that I have like ever in my life yeah ramped it up more yeah I thought I just think it's constantly and then my standards always get higher too it's like I need to I can't have a new special that's not as good as the last one so I feel like man I got to make sure this one's better so I have to like watch my old one and go what where's there too much fluff or what is it too much oh you did that really yeah yeah yeah like maybe I could have cut this down maybe I should maybe this isn't as good as this part you know all that just all sharpening the samurai sword hammering that [ __ ] and metal down yeah I know my problem is I'm a perfectionist so like and it's never good enough it's never going to be that's everybody's problem I hate it everybody hey if anybody was any good hates everything they do hey Andrew hi everybody I know that loves their act is terrible everybody ever tells me all I knew stuff's amazing I love it Oh gross remember we did a show when I was that guy oh no going back and watching yeah and I love watching yourself and like they're always terrible there you go yeah always the case yeah it's weird it's always the case and they're they're always like big self-promoters - oh god yeah Letterman hated himself I read some book about him years ago and every episode he would go home and just put on the hair shirt and flog himself like that was the worst episode ever and in my estimation he's the best I learned so much but why he's the best yeah because he had these high standards he wasn't just half-assing it yeah yeah yeah it's true I remember a guy one time asked me to get him a guest spot and it's like I went to a city and he was like I knew him I met him before so I talked to the manager of the club and I was like can I get this guy I guess but and she was like are you bashing for him right now yeah so okay so he goes up there just eat such a big bag of [ __ ] so then the club manager is like what the [ __ ] was that and I go wow I just I don't know so there's a second show and I go dude that was like that yeah he's like I know you I'll do a totally different set on the second or told your set and I'll make up for it I go okay so I go let's just let him he'll do a totally different set that was not only does he do the same set he does it beat him Oh name opening and so she was looking at me like what's going on and I'm like and I see him I go you did the same exact thing and he was like yeah I wasn't anything like a blackout under me and nervous and the other thing that stood out is that he had this is quite a few years ago like amazing website and like all my other stuff had incredible you know like oh yeah yeah yeah looking at the card like everyone he started doing stand-up and yeah the card bought you cards I'm over the sound barrier thing like cards that say your name and likes me it's like about this yeah yeah every time I meet a guy in a town and you want to do a guess that I'm almost positive they suck yeah they're always like real true say hey man I really love to get some you know what Jess said there's six thousand people yet yeah you're gonna do a guess but the audacity come on I know yeah I bet I'm sure that though yeah bunch of guys do that I've had I've also had guys that are like marginal headliners and you know working comics just show up let's just show up at my show and asked to a guest set I'd like to Chicago see it it looks clear I'm not kidding yeah 37 other people hey I like to do a guess that hey I'd like you to go [ __ ] yourself yeah see crazy tell them what do you say no I go dude this is all setup like this guy's going to do 20 you know he's gonna do 20 20 hands closed committed to 20 and then I'm doing an hour and 10 like this is what it is is the show like there's no room for your guest said I'll just do like seven minutes no you're not doing anything I don't even know what you're doing yeah I don't know what kind of wood what if you go up on stage and you start doing my my subject yeah get the [ __ ] out I just got an email about theater not one for a theater show there lady but here's the thing would you ever do that never now never the thing like we imagine showing up at a but there's a if you were musician is a band plan I came at just like to go home and do a song with yes what what [ __ ] it [ __ ] mind well the crazy thing about this email to because I had this a few times is it's an email saying hey you're coming to this city I'd love to do a set not only do you not know who I am I will provide no link to anything so you could check out like in other words it's just sight unseen you don't know anything about me can I be on your show or no and can I do like 20 minutes yeah I don't even know you know I thought maybe like five I had a guy show up in Atlanta and he want to do a half hour oh he said that yeah I said why because uh he goes I want to do a guess hat he goes jump talking like 30 minutes not like an hour I remember one night I'm walking you know Danny I gotta hustle though you know I love doing Godfrey he used to run the Brahe at improv and now he like overseas I think all the improv yeah and one time I was in Brea and I was thing man I want to say I was middling this is like probably like oh six or something and the but I was uh I was uh I was middling and the emcee was like I'll do turn to him with like I'll do 20 and and then him and then Dan goes he'll do ten he won't do him any more like just straight up because the guy was like announcing I'm gonna do from the MCS canäôt and one yeah he's like other 20 and then how much do you do he's like he'll do ten not a second more telling them like don't even have ream about doing that yeah and people get mad in this inevitably oh I'll get an angry tweet or an angry Facebook message and people will get mad thinking that you know like you just don't appreciate people who are trying to make it known when you were trying to man listen I'm telling you all the people that are out there listening that have that mindset no one does that no one who's any good does that this is not what you do you don't ever ask for guest spots if you get to know someone and you start working with someone and you work with them on a regular basis and you want to work with them somewhere you know that's one thing like say if you know like say if you were going to be in town doing a wedding or something like that like you were a friend's getting married my daddy like dude you're working that night and I do I tell you want to do a set you like [ __ ] yeah yeah and then we would work around it should I figure it out but it's only because we've worked together so many times you know each other so well like to have someone who you don't even know want to interject like your your show is like a complete package like you've put it together right yeah you know who your opening acts are you know what kind of material they do totally and you're thinking about how this whole thing is going to play out together and you want to make sure that audience who gets that babysitter and goes on to me you want to make sure that they get the best set possible and I'm old school I guess in the sense that I am 100 percent of the idea that everything at any show is absolutely all about the headliners desires and wants yeah it's their show like whenever I open for you and like somebody would say like hey do you I be like I don't know ask him man is his [ __ ] show like we're all here it's called support for a reason like we're supporting the headlining act and I [ __ ] hate when they try to involve anybody else in decision-making or how do you whether I go it's all about whoever's name is on the market whatever they dictate is the way that show goes and you should respect that you should respect what it took for them to get to that point and you should respect their desires at the show so if you want to talk about lighting or music or how much time all it's all that person's decision so everybody else can go [ __ ] themselves yeah you know what I also find the problem that I don't I don't do I don't take guys in the road to do crowd work I'm going in your life it just opens up that all hand Dora's box it forms a real problem where when someone loves to do crowd work and they start where you do for a living sir I'm looking at you with that suit on I'm imagining the salesman and now you know that the problem you can't think I'll start boozing and they wanna I'm gonna get my chance he's going to talk to me and then they start gearing up and then the time never comes and then you're on stage and they want to start yelling changes the expectations of the show yes and in somebody who's the show is not about them has made that decision yeah that's what's [ __ ] up about it I've had that we're like holy [ __ ] one guy did a 20-minute crowd works oh wow really under yeah and did like I mean this is a few years ago we got worked into a frenzy and then you get up there and some guys like and you're like shut the [ __ ] up I'm not talking to you man and then it robble robble yeah yeah it becomes a problem cause in the audience mad at you huh you just get to talk do I wanna talk I was waiting to go home yeah yeah yeah I just want to really miss match my openers like this back in the day I was opening Fort Lauderdale and they gave me this uh this guy who was like ladies you gotta suck a dick that's why they call it a [ __ ] not a career some [ __ ] was like all like ladies you gotta suck dick so get the [ __ ] out of here leave even know who I am I don't give a [ __ ] they're not putting good care not considering it no no I mean now that guy would never even vote useless being near me but I like a guy that the club found funny and they go open week from there oh yeah yeah put in from the female comic it wasn't Fort Lauderdale oh yeah yay is there than Jim Breuer is there a funny comic that's ever come out of Florida if you had a if he had a Florida yeah I didn't know that right sure yeah cry sure he's yeah and I Josh Tom Ford is in Florida dammit there goes my theory strawberries Todd berry support now Wow but I know you're saying in terms of like the faint there's not a lot meant there that develop somewhere else there's one other guy to that's really fun to came out of Florida um Brian Regan didn't Brian Regan come out of Florida you might be right yes he's from Miami yes that's right yeah there you go yeah so my theory sucks yeah yeah I know you're right but there's no bastion of comedic glory like for l'oréal's not where we all go to get really good well there's no community right now you know apparently there was developing one in Miami because last time I was in Miami was a couple years ago and I did the you know they have that South Beach Comedy Festival right I went with you that's right yeah and we were after the show we were talking to some people it's one of the local bars and like our local comics we have like a comedy show here and a bar here and like we put together like a real community in my car yeah but that didn't exist for a while Miami was the worst improv a history of the rock not world I had to cancel my week I got a call like a month before and they're like look we can't sell tickets for a white girl we're gonna have to pull your week and I was like no problem a month before they knew they're like the writing's on the wall no went I get for this white girl my name is big English never crazy show the Joey Diaz used to do half Spanish shows there Wow would you would yell out half the punchlines would be in Spanish and people would fall out of their [ __ ] chairs crying laughing we did shows there and they were just it was Thunderdome it we were hey oz it was cruised I did a set there where I would weave in and out of Spanish - and while they write you speak full span and I would and and it would be crushing it pandemonium exactly would you nut and I did one one time middling and the headliner did 35 minutes afterwards oh my god you almost have to be bilingual yeah yeah and they're like hearts out and that give you were to ask that stuff like are you gonna police the room they go well I don't know about exact node and everyone was 18 yeah the audience was all and they gave away tickets it was a whole papered room they told me a story about how you know there was that was in Coconut Grove and there's some there's some bad parts near that in that area like they would also tell you like don't walk down the street from the club right and so this one you know there's like Haitian gang I forget the name of it but anyways dominant in that area so one time some guy I don't know he's being loud or something so they go to one of the guys is like hey could you keep it down and then when he comes back a second time the guy opens his jacket it shows him he's got a gun right waistband so the guy's like [ __ ] from that getting killed over the goddamn improv you know so he goes tells the manager the manager knows that the head honcho of that gang is a big fan of show it goes to shows there so and he's in the room so they go tell the gang leader that like hey this other guy just flashed a gun to one of my staff and that guy just turns in the middle of a show to the guy who showed the gun and was like hey no and so he got up went out to his car put his gun in his car came back was like sorry about this and they're like oh my sorry about like there's no involving anyone else and no throwing him out well be a decent guy put your gun all right oh Christ yeah that room was chaos it was whatever oh no I did it I died I've done the room before yes go ahead it was one of the first clubs that I said I would never go back to I told them on stage oh you were the dumbest [ __ ] people I've ever performed with him and they were howling laughs and I go you understand I'm so serious yeah they work like cool grey yeah I'm like I'm not coming back yeah yeah I remember Diaz having some choice words about it too even Diaz yeah even Diaz is like that's too [ __ ] crazy yeah still [ __ ] crazy down there well Fort Lauderdale was a close second I'd say Miami was number one and your Fort Lauderdale Hollywood improv yeah I always had a good time there the Seminole yeah yeah that was for me I mean that's when I was like coming up whatever yeah I was hard it was about the Bluetooth everyone - blue - all those Bluetooth I remember those guys yeah I knew like we talking - I meant all the talking during your set then coming flopped then did me I thank God there's no weird you know a Ryan Sickler story about that and also he had a he knew that tape for something and so Ryan Sickler is one of my good friends very funny comic set up and you know what it's like when you taping us set for something you want everything to come together right so he sets up a camera in the back of the Hollywood improv and records his own set and he's up there having a great set killing leaf stage like I got I got my set to submit to whatever thing he's sending it in for comedy set or something so he's just happy he gets back to review it and a guy sitting next to the camera the tripod with the camera I said like as ryan gets on stage is like hello huh comedy club comedy I'm at a comedy club and throughout Ryan set you just hear the guy on his phone call yeah saying over and over comm comedy club I'm at a comedy club so that's what Ryan has a table you know I yelling I'm at oh no you know yeah I was a crazy Bluetooth man that's budget Cleveland and right though it was hiding I was see them anymore was almost a point of it was like a like a floss it was like showing like you were telling people that you had one yes wasn't about I need to get calls all the time it was like you see the blinking they're like I'm a busy calling yeah I remember I go the Cleveland Improv it was just like a sea of Bluetooth ear pieces oh man I got to get back and by the way that one was that was it rough terrible Ethan seems to have made a comeback though Cleveland's do and I you know damper I've had great shows in that city that III but that Club clearly improv I definitely had some [ __ ] really bad crazy shows I mean there was a guy arrested during the show who he sent back because it says one pound chicken wings and he goes that one two pound and they were like that's what it is man he was like take me to the kitchen and weh-weh them because I know that's not a pound oh my god and they have a by the way this is one of the clubs that there's a permanent police officer get stationed in the lobby and so they're like no he's like I'm not paying for it so they just get the cop and they go hey here's the deal and the cop goes look I thinking like this is look man you're they're paying for them I'm take you to jail and the guy just goes there you go go ahead so they arrest him Wow over an order of chicken wings he didn't want to pay for it Wow all this not a pound that was good the Cleveland in problem you've had merged stolen off your tape had merged stolen at the Cleveland who stole your merge these people like they're like we want a picture and they like totally distracted me and then when I looked down I was like doing my own thing then like you know I have plenty of these is like five gone they just set me up for a picture and then I turned back and they were gone like wow you know who the people were to see them leave go after I mean it's like I turned and I was like hey I'm telling like this security guy like they just stole he's like yes you know man people steal [ __ ] yeah you're in Cleveland yeah trying to sell CDs yeah man yeah I was such a rough the first night I ever did the Cleveland Improv John and a pimp I'm a giant you know I'm saying the pimp dancer the hooker and the John we're getting in a fight right at the front row and they got thrown out a [ __ ] dude took a hooker to a show yes I found that later I didn't know at the time and I was just starting my son Here I am i first time in creme just trying to survive and I look in there they're getting assured out I'm like what happened I was a hooker and the John they're in a fight that it doesn't arrest me I said yeah I got people vomit in my showroom on Cinco DeMayo I'm touched as a Cleveland problem like I I was grinding through a rough set and this guy and the third girl goes uh he goes so terrible man I got like full he is loud like it's got terrible sup man and then some lady in the back goes your mama should have swallowed that nut like that meaning like this in Cleveland yeah at the Cleveland I'm proud Wow like damn I go you dad should have stuck around to raise you and then like I got out of there pretty quick it was what did she say we need to that it was just it was there was so much booing and ahhing and like and swearing and then she was she was removed so like she was allowed to say her thing I said my thing and then there was like [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] like [ __ ] you [ __ ] you [ __ ] you and then they actually put it about what happened after that show calm down or no yeah they let me it was like as I'm winding into the closing bit of the set so I was like it was right before I shut it down anyway like it was I was about that close and then yeah I mean I remember I walked pretty fast off stage though as I got out of it but that was that was there were some rough sets in that room yeah Cleveland's rough yeah so but but hilarities is pretty [ __ ] different that's different yeah different yeah I mean like it's a beautiful room and like you know I mean improv has great clubs don't give you wrong that's like a rougher how it's different yeah I was there recently with Fitzsimmons hilarities yeah I was there on a key I flew in on Thursday night I had a show there on Friday and Fitzsimmons err on Thursday so I did a set on his show on Thursday you know great the officer was great hilarious we started out like a week apart from each other did you really yeah yeah literally a week apart I just did his podcast couple weeks ago he's a natural like when we talk about the skill set of conversations yeah he's really good at what his dad was a big time radio host yeah I know that I am the Orca yeah Wow Greg and I did so many [ __ ] gigs together we should steal each other's material well we had a deal because we both neither one of us were really we really should have been working you know we were always like the many years ago more MORE yeah like 89 88 wait how long he's been doing it since 88 August 27th eh shoes and we're coming up on your anniversary yeah yeah in 19 in 2018 it would be my 30th anniversary Wow crazy I'm exactly half that yeah um and anyway um so Greg and I would like would do gigs like when we're a year in and we'd get paid you know to go on the road and so we had like a deal if you could do my material to your material that's a good idea her a really good friend yeah so as I dude you're [ __ ] material is killing messages and he's like seriously yeah yeah yeah when I would tell him on now that bit that you do I did that in [ __ ] Rhode Island yeah but it was like it was parachutes for you guys oh yeah yeah yeah we really shouldn't have been working we were doing comedy a [ __ ] year and if something went bad it went bad yeah you know like I never recovered never I mean Eichenberg you know he could have a [ __ ] joke and just bounce back from it totally if somebody stumbled through something he can bounce back from it back then there was no there's no recovery I remember opening on a bad joke and just ridings that bad wait long set yeah you opened that yeah I didn't have a way to hold it back together yeah you come out stumbling yes never get your balance back yeah now you open if you open bad you like I you know is there one place where you won't work where you want where you won't get booked it's just like I'm not going there yes like where there's a Cleveland Umbra you will do a negative sign and lamb like I had to date a bad audience right that does happen if you know the problem is its same thing that happened what Miami did with their with their club is that they used to like announce that you can get free tickets yeah so like number one time going there working and I was like check out this line is awesome it's going to be it's going to be great and the guy goes they're here for the free tickets so like when you're when you cultivate that this is free mmm it just it you know it's a finish it'll tell you it does but like when you just go like though these are $5 tickets you're making an investment in your night in the show yeah and that changes it and I think Cleveland did a lot of that too a lot of like this is free the worst thing you could ever do to a show paper it because then the people just start talking okay they don't give a [ __ ] yes mean anything they would get up and leave in the middle of the show yeah nothing invest in it for me it's Connecticut I don't go to game yeah you heard you're told you can suck my the whole city are jeho light the holsters are I saying no no disrespect to anybody in Connecticut no disrespect no disrespect I did it like three times this year yeah yeah yeah all those people you know you know where you look I did Yukon I had a great time at Yukon I did the college a bunch of people from somewhere else yeah but it stuck in their heads I guarantee that they'd bust people from New York and Boston I'd do a show there you would never do the Foxwoods and Fox where are you most excited about to go on the store I like Texas well I mean I just I like going places where it's fun yeah something about Connecticut that's just bleak yeah there's like a lack of opportunity this is something bleak about it it's it's almost like an illegitimate state it's like a highway between Boston New York that's really what it is and it always feels like that when you're there just feels weird like there's a lot like almost like there's a sadness that permeates the show you when they laugh like haha I love that you hate a place that much and yeah really much so many bad sets there you know I feel like I had a lot of places when the cameras are off we can talk about them oh well Diaz and Ari and I did a show at Foxwoods a few years back and and I told them before I go it was like a Monday and a tuesday night they had a comedy club at Foxwoods oh yeah [ __ ] wait comedy club and restaurant I had to put that on my website I thought a comedy club and restaurant they make you say any restaurant restaurant yeah and make you make you on the air your promos like could you [ __ ] say the full name oh my god I had one there I had a bad set so did I I'm just anyone it was great that was the last time and I was like never again I told you guys before this is probably gonna suck and and I was like I knew it was gonna suck but I didn't know was going to so yeah yeah it sucked yeah it's just it's just people were they wouldn't stop heckling they were yelling out during re-set yelling out there even Diaz is like we just shut the [ __ ] up yeah I want to add someone thrown out of there and afterwards like some of the samples like so what was going on and they're like and another thing is that here's a bad thing about people don't realize about casinos that there's a losing like this total idea that it benefits any aspect of the casino to keep the customer happy regardless of every other circumstance in other words somebody is upset at the restaurant well let's try to make it right because they're they're here at the casino we want them to stay happy keep going they go to a comedy show well whatever they're doing is fines like no no no whatever they're doing is not fun because this is about the show but the the venue's point of view is this is a gambler this is somebody who's here that money oh yeah we should always acquiesce to their you know desires needs and don't don't do anything to upset them yeah not how that works man like this is this is our show my favorite with the casino gig it's always how they you know you've got the ding ding ding ding ding the machine sounds and I'm like what there's a curtain that separates the comedy club from the ding ding ding they may and you can still hear it like they actually have a show in Vegas at the South Point that dirty yeah already they'd like your you can look out and you see the casino while you're on stage on the back of the room there's the bar I want to find casinos right there weird can I ask you would you ever date your mom definitely not first of all she's older than me and I couldn't ball she's my mom well why I'm your mom and you're my son and I am falling in love with him he says are you really I said yes I am he said you know what I was scared let you know too I am too both consenting adult if if it comes down to it you know it's just like the gays there you know as long as they're over 18 everything's fine you know I mean the US wants to jail them for 18 months without fix they got arrested they actually got arrested oh well they should definitely arrest them there's a [ __ ] do you want to [ __ ] your mom that's our point I don't care how can't I don't care at all I think it's at that you want some Mary's mom there illegalities [ __ ] yeah got a tattoo on her face yeah they go for it there's that go back to her writer is definitely like relaying that it is just like the game it's the same it's the same but there's nothing quite like marrying your mom it's very strange though see them make it out ah it's her end yeah will you ever get your mom and all you date your son I said I'll shoot yes I would because 19 years you're the best thing that ever happened to me and I really want to be with the rest of my life as I did don't be bag of potatoes that's you in her face it's just like the gays or the Betty never I ask ask them there's no K in that scenario mom there's no doctors that say I ask them where's it hurt like asked him when I grant I panicked so it so great it feels like it but I think it is real because I read a follow-up article the best getting arrested and everything yeah so what do they do they tell them you got to stop [ __ ] the guard it I think it's I think the marriage partners thinking that yeah that's true but I also feel like if you're [ __ ] or like you want to get married to your mom like you just stay inside yeah it's that they're doing this see that's the problem with today's society is that everybody has to be out and proud about every stupid [ __ ] thing they're doing yeah what happened to a little sense of shame keep it inside you know it's [ __ ] weird yeah you know it's weird yeah it's like the gays right yeah it's a gay it's just like I gave it's just like the game no they're not like oh no no no the gay people they did you see that's it's definitely unless you're [ __ ] your dad it's different yeah well that's right well speaking of that do your interest fantasies haunt you do you feel guilt or shame around them maybe you've never allowed yourself to have them because you think it would you would be a terrible person if you ever went there so it's all suppressed she went on to say that she started to masturbate and then thought of everyone in her family and real the only one that turned around was her dad she thought about her mom and her son and all these people in church they didn't do any funny business dad did and it also made me think it's just like the gate you know real quick were you with me when we were I did I don't know if you were with me that time when I did was called Jim it was open gym and we watched that were you with me when we watched the footage of the guy at the carport the guy in the garage the asian guy oh Jesus which one wasn't what was it let me see some of the do unit thing this footage it's a car backing into a garage like a mechanic shop based on wrenches face I was playing you just look familiar no not yet I've seen too much yeah that's true people asked like different I'm not seeing a lot of laughter on Joe's day your face I see a lot of laugh broke that dude check out how concerned his friends are like so happen okay look look at how [ __ ] cold back I still down here Joe's laughter you know it's not really of well with too many injuries man injuries to me aren't funny really let's keep going with this thread why aren't injuries funny generally I see people get [ __ ] up all the time that guy's got broken legs broken hip like the impact with that the cement wall and then the toolbox and then his legs the legs are the soft thing the legs are gonna give that's kind of funny though the funny about that evening the wait a minute wait that's in half what did you just say Joe that's not funny to me yeah me neither because I think we have empathize I have broken legs Kenny oh yeah yeah he's worked this out before no I really don't know I'm not good with injuries really yeah I always hear many injured here's my problem my god I've always laughed I think it's because of my own fear of them probably on some level I've always had a like I remember one time I worked construction in Florida one summer and one of the foreman was like I had a bathtub dropped on my neck I started laughing so hard like tears running down my face is he had a bathtub dropping us and he had a permanent morphine packs sewn into his inside and just just drip it on his neck I go oh Jesus I just laughed that I couldn't stop laughing so crazy but I mean it's not even it's not a calculated choice to laugh it just happens that's why because I I actually fear it happened yeah that maybe it's not calculated now starts happening just started half an earlier so yeah I can't control myself I see so many injuries that's true people's head get bashed in they got to realize I've probably seen more people [ __ ] people up like fanatically and fights yeah then maybe almost anybody who's ever lived that's probably true up close yeah I have called I mean it's probably a few guys that are closing in on me now numbers-wise other commentators on fights but I've commentated thousands of fights yeah think about that all the different concussions I've seen all the different knockouts now here's the funny thing is that I really don't I don't laugh when I see head trauma no no it doesn't do it to me like leg trauma yeah like yeah screaming the screaming is like it makes me laugh and it's pelvis being crushed by the car hilarious but Steve oh did show me this new guy that he's working with Steve owes like mentoring some young psycho yeah who's doing a lot of like jackass styles Danza and his kid put on speedo and rode a skateboard off of a makeshift ramp into a pile of cactuses it was so [ __ ] crazy OHS watches like oh my god like my whole body you know that thing we get when you see someone about to get in an accident and like yeah ten yeah yeah gentleman pumps to your body and like it's almost like you feel like sharp pointers all our skin hmm yeah that's how I felt when I saw watch this kid launch his body into the cactus I know we saw one last week remember that yeah I don't talk about anything this dude was trying to do a jackass stunts and he had a rope around his nutsack and tied the other end to a tree and then ran and jumped oh no rip his balls off yeah they died yeah the hit little balls anymore his not popped out man it's this video this don't want to when I came out look [ __ ] when I came out well what did you think was going to happen oh my god oh my god oh my god we can even do that you told Dad I can't even look at that uh I can't yeah you like that doesn't make me laugh that's definitely streaks me out but do you think that I mean it is like a cliche thing to say but don't you think that that in some ways is evolution like that there are acted out there's dumb people that will do dumb things and it's almost they're supposed to die or lose their ability mean it's it's kind of symbolic to this guy's tying this to his reproductive organs you're right and I write off maybe maybe it's an unconscious wish fulfillment like he doesn't want to live to reproduce yes you know Narumi what what would be best case scenario there oh yeah it would hurt his balls and they wouldn't rip off yeah right right he jumped with the rope oh my god okay all right all right don't wanna go oh my god oh my god Oh for you and the bar and no I mean I wanted to talk about your morning cards but that you know I got it I'm mourning for as opposed to what evening farts so different well I'm a real I don't know if you are I wake up with lots of noises no just all I'm a stall working or I'm a symphony and you find that your digestive tract and everything is working better excuse me working better since you're dying 100% yes used to [ __ ] a lot worse and now it's much better yeah you used to have like diarrhea every day yeah I think he's allergic to sugar or some real I think everybody is well I have like even now you know I'll be pretty clean for a number of days you know even weeks I'll be like I'm going to eat this right now I'll indulge in something rich and sugar this [ __ ] never agrees with me Oh kills you yeah you got used to it for a while right yeah and now that you're not used to it your body does know what to do with it what is actually found that in a lot of what times what I want is just like a taste of something always have a bite and I'll be like I'm actually I used to go like I'll have 70 bites of that and now it's like one or two kind of satisfies yeah and then I don't feel sick it's not xevious stuff [ __ ] amazing dude I love it and yet she makes it the water guy spit it out water yeah Martin Risa spit it out and and I but my theory on is this though if somebody who's like restricting themselves from sweetness all the time it's like an indulgence you can have yes so it is like it's I notice it's a lot too sweet for a lot of people's palate but you don't know how much sugar there regularly having it was for me I feel like it's that click the free cheat right so you have your Z BIA you take sweetness again it's not it doesn't bother me even a little I enjoy the taste I don't anymore I feel like it's to synthetic tasting that's what bothers me it's like I like the dr. pepper alike taste but I like a Lacroix I'd rather do that oh those are great hello Bo I think this controls are so light yeah you know they have Z via water where it's just a good the tiniest hint of flavor it's more like a Lacroix okay my dad so they have the Xevious soda they have Z the energy drinks - which are amazing they're really good if you know that it's better tasting than redbull oh yeah yeah totally people we get a lot of song submissions people send in songs they make do you know like somebody made let's go water champ that you said into a song like they do please tell the audience so I think I'm pretty good at that you're impressed with my water can somebody walk you're the water champ he's in the water champ for as long as I've known you the water on the water even the water camp propaganda let's go let's go let's go watch out on the water on the water let's go let's go water Jamshedji on the water current water cancel Tom yes it running away go pick go let's go water channel on the water on the water yeah right now does that bother you you guys are better'n me all the time are you guys competitive with everything just where it gets competitive with stand-up know just where it's important your own personality water oh that's probably why we transfer and like water and personality I never in life yeah this is a real argument yeah but like but I mean I was it was real when we were arguing initially about who drinks more water I thought it was because I know I had a doctor tell me I should stop drinking so much waters what kind of doctor was he urologist he goes you're drinking too much drink drink far less yes remember she's an exaggerator I am didn't really tell you to stop drinking water he goes how much you drinking and I told him he goes you don't need to do that that's not that's a myth he goes just drink when you're thirsty you're over hydrating true story can you over hydrate though you can if you go canned I'll eat really nuts yeah if you go like like a radio contest or when we when we do water cut for the weigh-ins I mean I don't know exactly what I know I didn't feel good but I drank over a gallon of water like during that part of the last podcast and we didn't have to pee it I remember that you kept throwing down the water we talked about it you had like nine or ten [ __ ] bottles with you but I mean that's not good probably my body was like so craving water yeah but you just wanted to win that running away Joe that was a horrible but the two or three days leading up to those weigh-ins were just horrible at our house I mean he was taking hot baths and then going into the jacuzzi and drinking distilled water and then going to Burke Williams and doing the sauna and then I thought he was gonna die you really did it though that was what was impressive about this like you [ __ ] went for like burnt was kind of pretending to be going for it which is really interesting because you were talking [ __ ] to him and I know you're being comedic but you were also being honest yeah you're like that's what's called playing catch-up suckers yeah yeah you guys want to buy into that [ __ ] yeah yeah he was trying to catch up at the end the words you had a sustained effort a disciplined effort over long period from the jump off I knew that that would be the two ways psychologically that we go I know yeah from the very beginning that yeah you had to deal with his crazy yes that was the thing about crazy and I even talked to him about that and I said the crazy is going to help you I go but you're going to need more than the crazy I go because you're crazy is going to help you but your body can only lose so much weight over a short period of time right so don't think it because Tom's not [ __ ] around I go he's really doing this so like you can't just rely on crazy yeah I know I know I know I know I'm only drinking double Tito's and soda and the crazy thing that is so crazy his videos he's always so drunk yeah I worry about him man because he's like what 46 now or something like that how old is it three three oh that's not blue off no look yeah but what's great is okay but here's the thing sage 43 you can't do that when you're 50 I agree now agree me kind of can but you're you're going to fall apart well you can if you have those Mickey Mantle genes yeah that long form DNA yeah long strand DNA yeah you there comes a point in time where your body is like hey man you can't do this every day I know it's enough he does have an incredible stand among kanima to the ability you know like hit I'm like I admittedly not a party guy man like if I have a few drinks and I'm 38 I mean I feel it for days yeah he has that like a he's just like what let's go out and I'm like dude like when we when you sound very graciously sent us to go watch the Cavs and warriors play for for doing the weight loss thing you know I mean we were like drinking in the morning and I was like I gotta go take a nap and it's like did like how easily I'll go to the bar see whoa and I just you know I I took a nap and like I mean I had to like really pace myself by the way whatever came out of that was re re well as I mean people know now he's he was gone for a long time right he finally came back from his Vision Quest and more months four months ought to good I'm so jealous I know 85% of it was to avoid his debt with you guys yes as long as I just don't have an email or answer phone he said that he did a podcast where he opened up as saying it was because Tom's tastes were so outrageously yeah he snacks on caviar yeah yeah so they're very funny that's pretty who's writing about his podcast coming back was Hitler it was very funny and he was actually even joking around that that was ye yeah ran he but he called me he goes all right where do you want to go but and I go I don't know he's like I've gotta [ __ ] do something like it like I get like a hundred tweets a day like hey yeah I saw them already took care of it I did I told him I got old there's no I don't want to go on a fun but he was like oh take you somewhere well he [ __ ] up when it when it happened at the time yeah you're supposed to step up then yeah he was trying to figure it out of it yeah he was you know no point one five things shorter than like I man yeah but what was his argument the BMI he was like he's like well BMI why you're not actually six feet or 511 and 8/10 so your actual BMI to get out of that had to be if you were an inch taller or no they said 25 pounds right dude it was kind of write it down paper Jim I know I know I learned my lesson that's another crazy should he say now I'll tell you later oh don't come sanim ah now all right we should we should we should wrap this up so there's anything else you have no Jean thank you for coming Joe yeah well madam we'll do this we do this run down at the top of dates but just so you know you go to Joe Rogan dotnet flash tour and you doing you better hop on it cuz you added all these shows and those are going to go quick yeah ii chose to like a lot of places yeah it'd be nuts yeah here's the song how i glass by young patreon on our way out thanks a lot for coming man i pleasure thanks right yeah you sounds a ranch baby got to put this down john country i drowned put that down jumping tree [Music] just love this meadow - whipping along to stick use metal glass now here it de la God football football I look at dem moves right on his ass ain't you heard this is hard glass oh oh Joe's right [ __ ] play goodnight pull back my string and set my sight and my arrow into flight I got a really bad boy Quentin encompass the 40 seconds of mongers last year you never see them we've got our and Quinn not to marry my dad wasn't about that boy well best dad override I never had I'm a software apart trying to slip my dad I'm smell of his peers the scent of this as a fuel of the compass you know that I'm bear ain't got no simple depth of your mind it's just like the game when you marry your dad you gotta be coming earth girls and there's the progress of your mobile Ross fa RT Thomason the crevice of your twists a vegan banana do you know how much money my smile is I got a really bad bad got a really bad bite come - by the end of the night just slipping in on this meadow my you've been slipping along this big huge metal glass and now here great day of gloss football football football I'm a good damn moves right on his ass ain't you heard this is how classy to handle it in the pouch yeah did you know you're under water simple waterfall with a Perrier imma trick it out how you feel about this we hit the shower get a whiff of you kids I like my hair mice playing alone they could [ __ ] my mouth through the hair my car let's go to school let's let her loose that's right as long as let us all this glass glass glass glass slide a moose that's Gladys course less balls left

Channel: YourMomsHousePodcast

Views: 3,471,368

Rating: 4.7169585 out of 5

Keywords: ymh, your mom's house, your moms house, tom segura, christina pazsitzky, christina p, mommies, jeans, up, high and tight, what's with the jeans, denim on denim, podcast, joe rogan, just glassin, just glassing, fred, eichler, stand up, comedy, bert is fat

Id: XRvMtbFM3Dw

Length: 133min 52sec (8032 seconds)

Published: Tue May 23 2017

Reddit Comments

[u/TheSpermWhoWon]

When Joe mentions Amy Schumer's career problems I was so ready for him to go all Mencia on her

[u/MUNCH_MA_coochie]

That trans-Canada highway vid was hilarious

[u/stanflwrhuss]

The bit about super excited Dads had me dying

[u/stevenw84]

I love how they're trying to get some sort of approval from Joe regarding their nonsense. Hahahahha