Your Mom's House Podcast - Ep. 547 w/ Chris D'Elia

go to mesh Medicom it's large Tom Segura and get that gear the government is trying to stop you but you just have to do do-dah this episode is brought to you by satva my favorite online mattress company go to sattvikam / ym h to get $100 off an order above $500 [Music] I would like to thank our sponsor whoop over livin in some crazy times right now and anxiety is at an all-time high as we try to self quarantine to combat the corona virus when we're stressed we don't sleep well our immune system weakens we become more prone to getting sick and the best natural way to boost our immune system is through sleep right now it could not be more important to have a product like the whoop fitness tracker I wear mine every day I love this thing does it tracks your strain your sleep how you slept and you can input what you're going through to measure how it affects your day so you can track things like oh how was stressed out I was drinking I was exercising it's all in there I was feeling this way you can put it in the journal it's such a great tool I love the data analyzing it all you can optimize optimize your sleep and performance with whoop sleep better with personalized insights and strengthen your immune system trained optimally and don't get out of shape while you're stuck in the house for our listeners whoop is offering 15% off with the code your mom at checkout go to whoop dot-com that's WH Oh Oh Pete calm enter your mom at checkout to save 15% off sleep better recover faster and train smarter optimize your performance with whoop hello my poly people this episode is for us and us only help you Cho Moe's are having a good time out there are you following proto proto washing your hands wash your hands and your anus you know what I love about being poly what is just blowing people's minds we walk down the street he just kiss her did he kiss her yeah not that weird yes Christ how many girlfriends do you have right now I have a few and like I have three in person I have six online wow that's a lot yeah when will I get like slow low doses of NRE from all of them nari yeah yeah that that NRI is just man you know when you start these start dating someone and then the thing is that NRI fades and that's when you know it's time to move on I agree and that's what all the wisest people do Chris do you bet are you right now no I don't got any NRI no and you native well I mean just I feel like I'm feeding off of your guys's relationship energy might not be new so maybe oru you know all relationship energy Oh Tom and I definitely definitely have our you know our yeah I mean we the disrespect I get daily with the farts and the bounds and all your things yeah yeah I do that for you I do that for you but that's how I show love you know what's interesting you pointed out to me the other day what's that is that how I I search I like disapproval yes and it's you know it's so fascinating okay so I was wired differently we're a hundred percent because I'm wired for approval seeking yeah so the other night I was being wife Quarantine wife of the century and because we can't have we can't go get massages I gave you a massage she's amazing during 90-day fiance before the 90 days our favorite new program and I was putting you in a state of bliss then re mmm and you came out of it and you go he started laughing I go what do you laughing yet and what was it that you were laughing at I was thinking about how it would be fun to set up like a hidden-camera thing in a place and bring my mother yeah to that place like let's say a restaurant and hire actors to be like oh you're that fart lady like and have them one by one be like that was amazing I've never heard anything like that so and like you know I mean like and just have like a little kid do it like you fart loud and then have an old lady do it and that you know I mean all different types of people and just have her just go this is the most humiliating experience of my life like that kind of thing right yeah so I thought it was a really funny creative good idea but I also thought it was interesting that as your wife was giving you wonderful pleasurable moment that your mind went to how to make your mother upset well and it was giving you so much pleasure and joy he was laughing and I thought that's definitely one for the therapist yeah well it did it made me laugh it made me happy and I think what happened was you had me so relaxed that my mind was free to write and it went to upsetting your mother which makes me the happiest and then on top of that remember we were sitting there after breakfast the other day I showed you that video and you were like why would you show me why would you share then I go and then you were but here's the thing you were disapproving of it and that made me happy well here's the diff I brought you joy I showed you a video a tick talk of a dog being lifted by balloons and I thought well that I've always had no right to see you like check this out it was really and I show you you should make a video of a lady on a beach that her vagina was exposed and then I go it flashes to a goat going and he goes in that funny and I go no what because the vagina part was way too long and it was like it clearly like something dad said to each other this is not man and a dad and dad sent it to me it's like 55 yeah it's not meant for me I'm not the target audience yeah but it was fun it was fun but it's interesting because that really is the distinction between you and me and I I kind of want to get 10 milligram Tom's mind on it tonight okay dude everybody's liking 10 million I love 10 milligram no I know what we [ __ ] up what 10 milligram Tom hasn't done the podcast he's got to come and do and then drunk mom how about a yes yes yeah I need to get rekt oh yeah we gonna do this we take turns 5 milligram 10 1 2 week yeah Chardonnay mom booze bag pristine in the next week no what's my name I are Bobby and no Trish yeah I drink Sauvignon Blanc these days yeah yeah yeah all right let's start the do the opening clip get the show rolling there's a lot to talk about you know lots that are important stuff a lot of the real important topics are you ready what CNN is not covering you though I have a lot of fun things to show you I can't wait you haven't that's not fun life is too heavy bees do it let's go what is it about country music oh my god oh it's it's almost like breathing in and breathing out in it you don't have to work to listen to it and you don't even have to be listening to hear it I think it's the voice of the common man [Music] [Music] [Laughter] [Music] how old is this clip this week what this just that wait no yep why is his beard so dark uh yeah it's worth discussing Oh what yeah no dude it is I thought this is from the 90s nope your kid from last Monday you're kidding I mean he looks like he took a marker and markered in that beard like that crazy guy that used to live in the rampart remember the guy that used to take the magic marker beard on yeah yeah he went to nice and easy he went right eight and got his nice he has a dark dark dark beard and he's what is he he's in his 50s yeah yeah bro I mean that beard is it's black in his same he's from the Stephen almost six oh my god yeah it's the Steven Seagal a hairdressing school Trish you know you know I'm a dude Trisha first I wanna do for the quarantine come on I'm a diet myself instead of having our they're our hair guy come over oh yeah I'm just gonna do it myself yes he did that's what it down-to-earth person would do down to earth like it's almost like he's playing the part of a relatable person when he says things that beard is insane so he did they did a concert together online hey I'm studio G Carthon Trish yes yes they did a concert online for their fans yeah five million people watched it five million Garth Brooks and his wife Trisha Yearwood gave fans a treat last night a free online concert for those stuck at home more than 5 million viewed it doesn't that make you uncomfortable just to watch somebody stand yes and play that song I used to have an ex-boyfriend who would play the acoustic guitar and sing at me and it made me so uncomfortable I think I'm trying to discover more about like what my fascination is with like you know his weird personality quirks but I think another layer of it is that acoustic singing like that where somebody looks like they're happy having a good time doing it makes me upset and it makes me uncomfortable it makes me under I don't like I don't like emotional expression being happening having happen here and also he said before in the interview might I backtrack to the first opening clip her music is great because you don't have to listen to hear it that makes no sense well logically you have to yeah you're thinking logically here he's saying his spirit is what carries it you know well you think that's weird just let it get weird are you going to he's so amazing and fantastic that you don't even have to listen you just have to take in his I feel it just feel it was a big month for Brooks we spoke with him earlier this month before social distancing he's being awarded the Library of Congress which credits him with elevating country music into a national anthem of the American people our conversation began conversation did you throw that in there yes so wait a minute is on now music it's it's almost like breathing in and breathing out in it you don't have to work to listen to it you know if the word you don't even have to be listening to hear it I think it's the voice of the common man's soul not my soul I am NOT interested in country music and their singing oh [ __ ] a guy so I'm the last guy that's gonna say size matters but it's Brooklyn that despite all of that success the lesson in life is that adversity is what makes us stronger and helps us bounce back is he just the king of all platitudes like adversity makes us stronger and love is the only thing that is real well you're not ready for this next next explanation but here you go you've got a bow and arrow right the only way that arrow is going to go far at all is it's got to address resistance right so for every dreamer out there when you hear no it cannot be done just let it keep coming because once they let go of that arrow all those nose or what's gonna feel you to turn those dreams into reality on the rage he's that's the rate that's the Garth rage so that's how the last thing you see before he shuts that [ __ ] door on your head right there you didn't see all those knows coming that's the truck on your head hey they yeah I posted something last night on his page and they it's like weird it's not gone but it it had no interaction it's like they flagged it or something the ghost did it or what yeah yeah I went back to it and I was like oh it's like it's just sitting there I don't know if he if I don't know if anybody else can see it [Music] let's see cuz yeah okay feathering it brother the families need closure gee I know you're following your proto but the families deserve this it's all right baby all of us highway like a souffle I'm here now yeah we have destroyed this man so my sister went down into the mountain there's a whole white baby in that figural highway bruh I never seen no [ __ ] like it in my life thinking of all the families they need closure please relieve the location of my family literally so ivory come I posted cuz you see how happy he isn't that picture I posted nothing feels better than a fresh kill they took it away they took it away wow this is amazing I can't he says this is my most proud accomplishment which one does Garth Brooks [ __ ] dark guards Garth social media stuff yeah yeah this is the best this is the best thing this is the most happy I've been is when I go to this and I see this stuff I'm serious it really makes me think now it makes me laugh glad your tongue didn't get stuck in your teeth and made you forget what you were saying let's celebrate with like a souffle this is catching myself bye what did you do to Connell keep feather feather in it zero out of 10 not enough ceiling fans Mark Wahlberg the family's Garth stealing from the pain of you killing my aunt sue god damn it Garth let my people go my Garth why it's so [ __ ] funny to me gosh well can I tell you what he has Matthew McConaughey vibes interesting have you been following him on the groom yeah it's weird a lot of celebrities have been losing their mind on the groom Alec Baldwin being one of them because his wife just announced their fifth baby is coming into the water you see see look at my my comment there nothing feels as good as a fresh one nobody and you can't like nobody reacted that's weird yeah yeah yeah they did they ghost did you brew that ghosted it yeah but he definitely has Matthew McConaughey vibes where they really believed their own nonsense you know like Matthew McConaughey will do a commercial for a car and he doesn't even mention a car driving once remember that commercial we saw he's like sometimes I just like to sit and think about nature he's got he's got some Corona messages you want to see yeah hey everybody McConaughey here coming at you and these rough-and-tumble times a lot of unknown lotta limbo quarantined people have jobs and a lot of kids at home thanks for the uplifting message [ __ ] yeah like why are you why are you bumming people ask you know take the time right now first to applaud ourselves we know we know right now time you can't buy the one thing he's losing his mind losing his [ __ ] not quite like this man for kids he is I mean I'm a fit he's a really talented actor I think he's a really really talented Johnny and he was a handsome guy before this well he is and I'll tell you why though he and his wife have four children under the age of six she's pregnant with a fifth and they claim not to have a nanny so Tom and I have been working with our two kids for the last so two weeks and it is crazy making so no wonder he is worn down but don't you love that celebrities feel the need to reiterate what everybody already knows like you know what I mean like you think Matthew McConaughey is any more insight than Sanjay Gupta does at this point like wait I can it's so gross he's like yes you just got stay strong no [ __ ] [ __ ] oh boy that's why everyone does - oh my hair how about Brittany thank you but no thank you don't the celebrities make you feel better those things are really her stuffs really really troubling like that whole voice the look in the eyes if that person was I was not known to me and walk hey hey hey hey hey stand back stand back like you know what's wrong I think she's fine no no the job just said yeah that he would not give her change at the freeway off-ramp that's rude she does look a little different a little confused no she's been on this path it's really really scary I think something's really really wrong with me I'm just bipolar at least yeah it's really sad what did Diane Keaton do did you think this was Diane Keaton no she probably got what she looked like hilarious I forgot what she looked like I heard that I was like oh I didn't know she's also American right that I was pretty confused but I was like you know what I haven't seen her in a while yeah with that Jack Nicholson movie I was like no maybe she's just a real good ass I like this idea of using a phone yeah funny panties work and then there's Ellen DeGeneres no boy okay hey everybody I decided to do it everybody's doing which is walk outside said it just being inside I feel like that's not her neighborhood no it's my first thought I'm like she was like all right let's drive over this kind of shittier neighborhood I'll walk around and we drive right back okay yeah I like everybody I'm feeling stir-crazy and anxious and wondering what's gonna happen and how long this is gonna last yeah yeah I mean again like if you're going to broadcast a thought at least uplift try to add to the discussion about our boy Rappaport I love him right the weekends here you feeling antsy you're feeling Restless I don't give a [ __ ] who's are in effect okay stay the [ __ ] you know what I love when uh he gets all fired up about Trump he's like Easter's cancelled you fat [ __ ] Easter's cancel he's so funny oh they hate yeah yeah he's so fired up dude it's hilarious now that's an uplifting message though right well you know who else is really kind of this is this is giving me comfort yeah in this time right here Wow what do you think Tom yep hold my hand smoke burning here this is why you and I are married yeah you're my light my love my passion my joy in all my life I have never seen something that [ __ ] up yeah and I see a lot of stuff on the talk I just want to thank you for bringing this into my awareness I want to thank you for being the father of my children I didn't even know you could cup male tits for six hours it's uncomfortable but you can do it Josh yeah Josh we'll do this right Wow pick a certain stick up the high heavens does he have [ __ ] written on his stomach yeah and he has mr. missed talons cuckold property and he's got pig written on his head and a pig face I don't know if it's tattooed or with a marker this one's for drew how what do you think happened to him as a child but this has happened good things this is just you're just reliving the past so you just recreate it do you see the shimmer I don't know what I'm seeing I don't know he has a Prince Albert that's why you see a little thing that's sparkling behind oh yeah that's the least crazy this guy's lifestyle choices it's all a Pierce [ __ ] is like that's step one that's how you start along this path put a [ __ ] piercing in my dick that's how he started he's got a broad tattoo and then stars on his nip nip I really want to know these are tats if all these are I think so all of them I think [ __ ] is yeah it looks kind of faded but doesn't look like fresh egg this is on I got ass a pig on his head is real nuts if that's how he walks around pig on your head on your bald head and then a pig snout and he's like yep they're avocados here today that's a farmers market Jesus great because there's a limit to what you can do with a fetish like you also you have to be a part of shows you that there's no limits right because this is somebody's brother son uncle hopefully not dad but could you imagine like oh there's mr. there's mr. Rickles or whatever mr. Stevenson's buying and hey mr. Stevenson oh good to see you sir all right like this guy lives in a community where people know who he is I mean and to put it on the Internet I just this is so great Tom Norman summer tens hits okay I have so many questions well what if that was the last thing you saw before a door closed by he's got that grin on his and he was just like do you like my tits mister Somerton ya know well what would you rather see before you front closed you yeah you tie it up and you're like would you rather see Garth being like and there's a bunch of nose out there and you've got to keep dreamin that's it or this guy who's like do you like my titties you said it in your face I mean you're looking at what do you like well one's gonna sexually assault you and one is just gonna murder you yeah this guy is just gonna put cups on my titties and no no he's gonna rape me I don't know what he's gonna do I think it's things that we can't imagine yet cuz I couldn't imagine this I don't know this one thing it's not gonna be like I'm gonna [ __ ] jerk-off no no it's real [ __ ] you don't think about the problem with Garth is that because of his celebrity status he'll never be brought to justice he'll never be yeah this guy no mister Somerton is gonna get caught in his small girl no look how old he is he might have been doing some [ __ ] for decades now I choose this creeper we all never get you'll never how terrifying is gee yeah you're choosing this [ __ ] yeah yes guy well because G will never suffer the law like he'll oh my god this guy's like amusing I would laugh at this guy look how happy he is actually in his face I know there's no rage in there rage is behind Garth Garth is scarier to me because he's a true psychopath Garth you can tell is really mimicking what it is to be a person like he just keeps he does you know he doesn't really he doesn't really feel those things there's no way you got to take an arrow you know that love it's the common man's anthem it's all [ __ ] that he's heard other people say it's not real true he's a psycho we were watching 90 that before the 90 days yeah favorite show oh that's the best and we got to see well there's a couple developments big Edie he had a big hit a big fight with his girlfriend who's a Filipina I forget her name and yeah rosemary rosemary he's 50 something she's 23 yeah and he goes there and there's a scene where they make up and then they she goes back to the hotel with him and he turns on the the you know the romance so he's like I'm trying to figure out what she likes he has her take a bath there they there they are she takes a bath puts on a robe she comes back into the bedroom he gets on the ground and he has champagne and gives her a glass he starts giving her a foot massage and you can see that her her legs are exposed and you can see that she has like a lot of long dark hair on her legs and you know they don't make mention of it and then the next morning they interview them each separately and they're like so what happened last night she's like and then they ask him he's like we made love and it was it was great first time in 28 years 20 that was the first night his shoulders dropped like he thought they would and then they go they showed them then in bed like kind of laying around and you know what are we gonna do today and then he's like hey yeah why don't you shave your legs hold on he's he's craftier that he works out a quid pro quo he's like he goes so you don't like my beard huh you tell the producer it kind of said well she was saying he was saying give me a kiss this is how it was he was like me kiss like a little kiss on that she was like now your beards all prickly it hurts me yeah that's how it was yeah you look at me like a kiss and she goes huh your beard I don't like your beard shave your beard and then he took that opportunity mm-hmm more like shave you breezily how about I will shave my beard and you shave your [ __ ] bare legs yeah and you practically did cartwheel i sat up I was like cheering up cheered the television because that is your pet peeve is hairy dark hair on women's legs you and you know it's funny you brought this up to me when we first started dating one time it's actually another one of those flags that I completely was like that's weird because you were like I don't forget why how it came up here like God you know what I [ __ ] hate and I was like what like Jewish people like no you go you go I [ __ ] hate it when girls only shaved their legs up to their knee god I hate it just do the whole leg I was wet it was very random and I and I remembered this this is you know 15 years later it's something that's bothered you since the beginning it was a red flag though yeah cuz I was like okay I mean I never heard a man get that fired up over women that don't shave past the knee I'm like all right I mean I'm not sweating it cuz I blonde hair so you really wouldn't see it yeah so that's kind of why I why is it a flag though cuz it's weird to get that heated I didn't get that you are you were fired up you don't remember really you were fired up you were like I don't [ __ ] yeah that's gross okay so lazy just shave the whole leg what's the problem I was like boys don't and just you know put a dick on do you got but your variant you're being very gender normative here I apologize and I just want to take this time let's stop down for a second here I want to address all the ladies out there that are feeling attacked and slided by me and feel like you know Tom I don't do I don't care what you like and what you don't like it's fine it's fine I think these are just you know people have different tastes right different things and you don't have to shave for me you know you do well it is a very controversial issue in our time because you know you could be saying that you're imposed whatever gender thing yeah but look if it doesn't make your dick hard it doesn't make your dick hard and that's just your thing that's why I'm just being honest about it just for me I think the only thing yeah I agree I also don't like armpit hair on a woman I don't either so I shave mine and I shave up my body nice so that you don't leave me when Mitchell I did I did I did get with a girl once it had that what armpit hair yeah yeah I wasn't your African [ __ ] no that's a mother pig but she was pretty nasty mushy foreign yeah I knew it what dark hair yeah I was and you didn't did you say anything no I knew it was never gonna talk to her again oh my god but I tell you this 90 day show before the 90 days is the best it's great and especially because now I have a whole new respect for these women who are using these Donkey American men to come over to this country I mean poor rosemary she's 23 maybe she has a five-year-old son she lives in the back of like some rinky-dinky it's terrible postcard shop or something with her sister it's it's so sad and if I were her I would be on that those sights Ropin in every dope dope American man and I would be riding their dicks to come to America you better believe it I would do yeah I mean I'd be like hey do you like full-figured men on those sites I'm into bald fat short men can you send me $15 so I can pay six months rent and then [ __ ] came over I'd be like you like [ __ ] yeah I would start with yeah I would take me to your country I went to and I liked that she chose big egg because first of all big heads my favorite on the show because sweet he's got it really sweet great personalities a great father he's a loving human being and I mean is the ideal in the looks department no but you know he's gonna be loyal because he's not like I really know about any sweet creatures well I would a hundred percent pick Big Ed and he's a little bit in his 50 so he's not gonna [ __ ] you like a rag doll that's another thing sloppy joe is a little bit low lower yeah it's not like some 30 year old guy who's like 14 times a day fill every hole you better not let one drop hit the ground and then he's got all these rules and he just pounds and pounds that's the problem that trade-off then you get an older guy like that he busts one night he'll be like yes so maybe if you want to try again in June he's gonna be fine and he yeah he might need to take viagra or something fine so once a week or something he was not it's su and Ed's not the kind of guy who's gonna demand it he's not gonna he might be like she's gonna go can we make love tonight and she's like I don't be like it but could whatever and then he'll move on can we just snuggle instead oh stop it I was doing I do her accent perfect stop okay I'll be ed stop no ask if we can kiss me may I give you how do I say kiss can I give you one of those ticket yeah I'm a [ __ ] and your [ __ ] yeah give me money right now I'm Adela but are you my girlfriend okay I love happy honest it was super offensive what you just did oh wait wait wait and pretty accurate yeah yeah that's how she is because she doesn't really look the fact that she speaks any English is amazing because I don't speak a word of Takashi learned that in a village it's amazing she lives in a really really impoverished place oh I would be sucking every American dude all right we established that all right now so we cast a wide ass Annette dude I want to go to America that's my profile pic right there boom and if I lived in the Ukraine or some [ __ ] I'll be like I would just put my gaping butthole I'd spread my cheeks like you want to pound this pound this to America [ __ ] get me out of these horrible countries do you put like you have graphics on it your dick [ __ ] goes in arrow goes to USA USA a hundred percent follow the path a hundred percent you said you don't like varriya then she makes you mad I can sense her desperation Varia is the Russian girl who's with this like kind of simpleton this this simple guy who abuses women yeah he's like the yoked simpleton so she had Jeffery yeah yeah well what's that article title oh can you go back like to the original it says that what's that top one say why he hasn't responded to what Oh to a domestic abuse claims oops whoops yeah so yeah he goes over there and he you could smell it though you can smell that something's wrong right away and you can sense that she is hustling yeah you know I mean she really is she is but at least she's open and I do give credit to my tribe for being open like we don't really [ __ ] you or I guess they want to go to America you going to do this or not I also like that now Soulja Boy is flat-out disrespected explain the more detail that there is a Nigerian rapper who goes by the stage name soja boy and he's like yeah it's totally different than soldier boy it's so Joe exactly so a boy 90 day fiancé first result yep there's baby love yeah baby love now he flat-out disses baby love in all of his interviews though he's like I went to come to America and be a big rapper and she's basically 70% okay and like trashes her her stomach was she's got listen she literally and I'm not I'm being accurate this her and I have a similar build okay if you just shaved my beard and put a little curly blonde wig on is that what you think you look like as a trans woman I think so actually that's if we could laser off your beard you don't get you hairless that's exactly what I would yes I would look like baby love Lisa baby love ya oh my god I think we have similar personalities I think I could score a fledgling oh my grab her from Nigeria transition - look at that yeah oh my god I don't know you know I want three boys such a big star in nature he is the best he's like I just want to come to America and take over rap and hip-hop R&B I know but you may have to change your name no he's like it's Soulja Boy but I want his rapping is like I'll be there for you girl it is some [ __ ] fourth grade [ __ ] but I want think Burt has bed earlier oh I wonder who would make a prettier lady you were Burt mmm I thank you because Burt's teeth are all crazy and different yeah I also have like the kind of pointy nose it's more fun if I if I had like some intense liposuction I have like a female feet like a pointy nose you know yeah and when you shake that bear you have nice lips you have nice eyes I mean your build is ridiculous ELISA built the difference between Lisa and I is it she doesn't have any shoulders that's why you know so much you know but I've brought her shoulders we have the same stomach but I have brought her so that's the different you would be the ugliest woman I don't know I mean on the staff here Oh on the stand thing I'm the ugliest I don't know I mean think this through let's let's go through okay so Chris beautiful beautiful so Chris already has the hair he doesn't do anything to his hair he's got shoulder length hair great hair he's got a good build he's Oakland Doran's Hollander tall beautiful eyes you just shave that moustache there it goes shave the mustache the beard whatever yeah I think he's a transition and then Chris becomes Christie it's like real easy I think Chris easiest transition so far the most beautiful girl the transit now Annie is long and lean he's our way but yeah you know he has like he has a very like masculine walk so you'd have to be retrain like the way he moves he moves in very masculine ways but again that real lean build he'd be like a model we could put heels on him you know he's got the give him just small implants get him some nice titty titty titties you know the section cut and then yeah I think I think you could you know with some makeup I think you could really impress people he could pass and he could pass as like a tall athletic yeah Chris could pass Josh Oh we'd have to shave him down of course significantly but then again what if Josh wants to be like just a very forward-thinking woman who's like I like my hair you know I think Josh would make a pretty girl you think so yeah I mean we'd have to do a wig we have to get rid of the fit I've never seen his full face though cuz he's old I saw pictures of him without the beard I think we could do it and his build is OK's he's he's got a smaller frame which lends itself to being it's better it's better your frame is the worse so you and the dog I'd say have the hardest build know the passes of female we touched on this earlier in the dog in all his delusion was like oh I think I'd be the most beautiful woman what are you talking about yeah why do you think think I think my features would translate the easiest out of anyone in the studio can you run through them okay so my god I got the eyes right yeah look at this okay okay I feel like my smile is the most it's probably the warmest smile on the entire I've already dressed pretty nice I feel like that translates pretty well sure I just fought all of it and also uh I don't know I like I think me with long hair I just think like I think I might have some of the best hair in the studio and you might let it actually grow and I straightened it and I feathered it I think I'll ever really I'd really take everyone so what's your running order for most passable beautiful woman you know top who's first place yeah okay Oh from top to bottom okay so I mean I'm first oh my god delusional so I'm first I think it's hard to say between Chris and Annie who's in second place but that's second and third right there and he's too tall I feel okay no no but it's just like there's you'd be like a super MA like someone where you see on the street you'd be like I'd never be into that but then you see them with makeup and some photo should I be like God quite a compliment and then Tom second-to-last Potter's last now tell me Leiter's father's last why these last well so if if we're if Potter's transitioning hmm like there's just a lot of maintenance that he needs to stay on top of yeah keep out of the bottom yeah yeah like how often is he gonna shave his shoulders how often is he gonna trim he's gonna get laser treatment though laser removal yeah yeah I mean that's what's gonna do right but I mean like that would take months to transition it right right would take a while it's like getting a face tattoo removed it's gonna be years yeah well we've got the time got the Animus quarantine I wish we could have a guy come in and make up you guys this why am i second-to-last like why is he worse you think than me why is he worse than you yeah because I have to do some maintenance and upkeep easier you should too your eyes are better Wow Wow that's it huh yep this is bliss is absurd logic is completely wrong well what about this beautiful woman right here no she's the price I think the body we need to take you're thinking of your face and I agree of a lovely face you're not gonna pass with that body there's gonna be some dudes are into this thick into this thick [ __ ] right they exist that juicy juicy that if you can see it from the front wait till you see it from the back well I like your body positive attitude yeah I think badonkadonk like now you know just imagine if I turn into a lady look stay home if you sick come over if you thick that's what we're doing all right well let's um let's get our boy out here let's do this man we want to want to get into this next segment all right one second it's always fun to welcome back to our couch one of our favorites one of your favorites the great hilarious Josh Potter what an appropriate sound so we've been talking about this super cool guy for a minute yeah a lot of people I don't feel like he's not in the mainstream really I think well I think this virus was the best thing that ever happened to him you know yeah because this story was a it's been a real investigation a couple of ladies like really went to town on it they should make a podcast about this investigation you know yeah cuz it's very layered and all these women you're not one of these women that like flicks their beans to like crime stuff are you- i don't like watching that kind of stuff or really hearing about so many of them in the world these women that this masturbate or just enjoy it yeah I mean they get all figuratively yeah I think because I'm actually concerned that it may happen to me one day mmm because women were the ones that do get well I've got some reassuring news before we dive into this this one wouldn't happen to you okay okay you are free and clear this man why is that well you're not a teenager first of all second of all you aren't poor and you don't live on a Bahamian island and so there's a couple of things but this guy to get into it what's his name his name is Peter Nygaard mm-hmm and we've we've got a picture of him there if you want to pull it up he is the no you don't want to look at that one first you aren't there you go oh boy there's that's the one that's the image you should first take in that's the point the Hugh Hefner of Winnipeg this is what he puts out there yes this is like he's like this is that's like that would be like you know and a flag outside of his estate well he was on a billboard I don't know I can't that'd that the other email board by the way actually now that I because I Ford this weeks ago and that was the thing that would greet you at the Winnipeg Airport Peter had welcomes you he was that he's like when it one of Winnipeg's biggest celebrities and then what does he do the other photo is a photo of what he really looks like yeah oh my god a little rougher and wait wait a neck though v-neck wasn't exaggerated who who is quite the V yeah and it was that guy deep like you could teach people letters with that is really so wait what does he do that he has all this money well interesting that you ask he is a fashion designer and he's designed some things you might have seen out in the world as a matter of fact would have you seen him at the Met Gala probably not you don't really see these at the Soho House either that's not a place you're gonna see his line I think it's stuff sold it like Walmart dealer okay Belk should I pull up some of his stuff yeah let's see let's see yeah you know very cool stuff you basically are you are you in the early stages of menopause and work at the DMV you shut it down well cuz I'm oh boy I love the models they've used for these two because even though it's gorgeous women wearing it you're like she ever [ __ ] wear and isn't it funny how your mind puts that together immediately exactly she's hot what the [ __ ] is she wearing that for it puts added dimensions on these bodies you're like that's not what how would you even describe that shirt well you can't see it here's the deal ask somebody who really likes target fashion yeah I love Moroni I'll buy the [ __ ] out of some target [ __ ] that's like a step beneath that's like does walmart have that isn't Walmart well okay it's it's like your target fashions except it's a leopard print right or whatever animal print and then blue Cobra that bleeds into the upper it's crazy I have the list of retail stores here that you are if you are looking at it and it's fetching to you here's where you might be able to purchase it Dillard's Walmart Costco winners and Belk yeah see Target wouldn't even carry that yeah targets together what's the other don't we have another fashion piece oh boy can't just a picture the woman who works in the Resource Center of a high school this model is way too skinny and hot to be wearing the commercial woman who wears that the woman from before yeah she's pushing three bills at least model laughed when she got to this is a joke really and I think that is the crux behind Peter and I guards villainy is that he has made so much money billions of dollars or some crazy crazy off of this [ __ ] and Hot Wheels like I'm a fashion designer I should be having the soggy stick of them all and doesn't have that you know because no hot chicks are trying to get it your theory is you're trying to say hot chicks are not real but could you imagine if he designed like Gucci [ __ ] or something here it would be a little easier so yeah the irony is is that gay dudes design like Michael Kors Gucci all that that's all Tom Ford's yeah yeah yeah I mean so you're saying you wouldn't even though you super-rich you wouldn't want to party with this guy and behave bohemian hold on in my rosemary in my in the Philippines am I can I tell you something if I'm rosemary in the Philippines that guy is my ideal sucker because well I'll tell you what there's about a few dozen Rosemary's in the Bahamas that would probably disagree with you due to lawsuits that are coming up so because one of the things I love is like the origin of the story oh yeah you would not know anything this guy's story would never come to light if it wasn't for something as simple as a neighborly dispute right yep exactly this guy is neighbors with another billionaire guy Louis bacon in the Bahamas yeah it's one of their many residences that guy is just some hedge fund guy yes like than a normal super rich guy yeah if you could fathom that and he lives next door to this [ __ ] idiot and so it's just amazing to me that no matter you think if you have neighbor problems you think I'm just gonna I wish I could be so [ __ ] rich they don't have to deal with that [ __ ] [ __ ] and then you get super rich and you have to deal with [ __ ] like this who are doing things like changing the topography of the island and like trying to like he had a fire apparently on his part of the island and he was trying to rebuild something and that's what started all this there was like no permits in place or anything so Louis bacon was like you can't be building all this [ __ ] you can't be changing the shape of the island you know that's [ __ ] up and he goes well you're a [ __ ] murderer you were in the Klu Klux Klan he started accusing him all this shit's and that guy hired a lawyer and started digging into him and found out a whole slew of things that are really bad like like a ring of young girls getting brought into his estates who are poor and who you know need money so they end up doing things for it for money like one like BJ's yeah for this old guy should I look at the property map is that what I should be yes oh yeah if you want to see the island like discussing how they were neighbors well he has so if you look on the right it is Lewis Bacon's portion of the property yeah and then on the left is Peter and I guards he calls it Nygaard ke and it's where he comes and brings his lady she has extravagant parties and he has people that work for him go out into the community and find poor young women to come to the party and partake in drugs and alcohol and then eventually well what's Hugh Hefner was doing the same yeah yeah I was a little more what's the word yeah he was kind of on the up and up about it he was like you come here let's just say they're a couple of women have left his parties not so happy about what was our and they tried to talk about it and bad things happen to them oh my god so yeah these are this is the side of his Island though can you imagine which is [ __ ] is from those stupid clothes I crazy which island is it do you know I don't know the name I can look real I have the specs on the property here and then is this sari good no you can go ahead what were you gonna ask is there details on exactly what he criminally is accused of there's so many things really yes I'll pull it up in one moment yeah cuz it's all going on right now and so like there is there's like the case of 11 women is basically what they've trudged up because so many women don't want to talk first of all and there is probably so many more dozens more and then he does things to manipulate thus the process like they'll try and find these women and they have to keep moving them from hotel room to hotel room it's real like [ __ ] this guy's spending so much money to try and like cover [ __ ] up it's so wild and the other thing that [ __ ] it up is that Lewis bacon the neighbor guy he started paying people to speak up and that's gonna muddy the waters of okay there's no money yeah do it yeah yeah so that [ __ ] I reached so the the case is so [ __ ] embroiled and it changes all the time but it's just wild like the accusations that he got thrown against him all came because he was [ __ ] around next door and his neighbor was pissed at him but uh so it's a five acre private luxury resort it was built in 1987 has over 20 themed cabanas on it a helipad replicas of Mayan temples that spew volcanic smoke and human aquarium featuring topless women dressed as mermaids this is this goes without question I think that's a great addition I mean you guys everything about throwing all those in the old cigar estate Oh human aquariums oh yeah instead of topless women you should have bottomless men it's a great idea I always am salivating yeah I really do question a logic of buying an island property like a it's extremely difficult to build on an island you have to put all the infrastructure all the plumbing and you get the material it's really quite a pain but Christina it's worth it for all the poor girls that's a difference it's like if you didn't [ __ ] you can't do this in Miami this reminds me of when McAfee and that documentary goes to Belize and he wants girls to [ __ ] in his mouth mm-hmm so he goes he he sends like his people is like his minions down to the village right he's like can you take a [ __ ] he questioned women he's like you look like 50 bucks to go up to Jon's house and then they go up there and they're like I just took a [ __ ] in a hammock into his mouth and I left yeah what do you guys if this man was this simple you know this woman but look how happy she is about our money greatest and I have to say in terms of like third-world exchanges not a bad exchange I go to the guy's house I think that's the best easy street I would do that now same yeah easy money oh my god yeah that's right there's a lot I took a [ __ ] this morning for nothing y'all gave me a nickel I mean yet there's another I put in a video of Peter and I guards discussing his fashion oh I'd love to play it don't you want to see yeah how would you describe it as the as the creator like what does he think he's doing oh you get him here we go that is garbage i every designer has just copied my product now every calvin klein's everybody's got limbs makes a woman look more really as soon as you put it on your waist is two inches thinner you know get rid of the belly you get rid of the muffin tops you lift the butt you know and now we're working down all the way down the leg with the latest product we have is called lux you know and it's like a skin and it is most comfortable pant legging in the world I know ever going to make them for men I'm destiny model myself right now I'm wearing him right her voice is horrible I will say though that's how right there that look is you get a good look do I want to take her to the Bahamas yeah but that's why he made his fortune I didn't even put that together it is great fat chicks to look skinnier [ __ ] brilliant but also he's wearing like really cool [ __ ] - no I like that scarf around his neck that's which was like for I didn't really I thought it was all one I didn't realize the hair feathering technique is very unique as well I've never seen anybody it's a feather mullet which is really interesting to look like at the end of this quarantine yeah what do you think this it was a slow like breakdown but he'd evolved into this animal I think he I don't know that's what I've been trying to like figure out because this is such a weird like under-the-radar thing other than the actual case like him the more you look things up it's like he designed his life to be this way they called him the Canadian Hugh Hefner at some point or what but I think he just gave himself that [ __ ] nickname yeah it sounds like he emulated half because ride yeah very hard but he but where half was pedaling a sexy product that people wanted to be a part of this guy is [ __ ] peddling nonsense and dillards so that's where the disconnect habit he's just written I think it just made him angry like [ __ ] you know I have the money right you know so he then he goes off the rails and starts committing crimes yeah you had had an article cited up there do you still have access to that that we were looking at earlier yeah this is cool it says that Nye guards outlandish lifestyle private island parties the first president Bush was a friend of his Oprah Winfrey and Robert DeNiro have reportedly visited his residence in the Bahamas and in 2000 noted epstein friend Prince Andrew I did have I did have a list of celebrities and the UH Prince Andrew former US president and HW Bush Jessica Alba and Oprah Winfrey Michael Jack Michael Jackson no go figure that's the least everyone probably just a rest in peace solo everybody bought I'm sure Nygaard him and he's like so what is it you got a ferris wheel give me some tips you're going after a different demographic no Michael I want the women and I never like well but the any animals MJ Lord kids with the animals but but as you know as we learn in The Lion King little [ __ ] get you the Tiger king okay that's funny they had to call it that huh because the other one was taken wow this is really neat thank you for making me feel this way I was happy and now I do well so happen what did you leave this research feeling I just I I mean like hmm this guy how much [ __ ] young [ __ ] is enough yeah it seems like really is a guy it's really they actually never get satiated I'm actually blown away by it because always when they age I'm like doesn't all that desire taper off right I just think you're seven that's what drugs are for well who's the child of a cool guy it's my agra I get that the drive though like his compulsion he's also spent hundreds and hundreds of thousands of dollars on covering things up and also like let's just forget about the fact that he got caught and he has to like trying to fix it now just procuring the women he was spending a crazy amount of money to do you know scale it down and get like three of em when I was reading all these stories and the accusations about Epstein yeah the sheer volume of it all I was like god damn I mean they were like and then six girls would come in on you know Monday and right he would tell us like make sure you bring like six more tomorrow and then it's like it's doing that Tuesday Wednesday kind of the porno theory though like you kind of have to it takes more and more like Tommy Lee's remember they always hear it's alright it's also a sense of privilege just like we've seen so many like middle-aged middle Americans go out and stock up on toilet paper and buy ridiculous amounts I think it's the same theory they're like we just need so many young boys like just get a pallet of them in here and we can't you know it's like right we don't want to run out we don't want to have not enough right we can't just have not enough I mean so we might as well get an abundance more is always better before before we go do you care to weigh in on who would be the most beautiful post-transition woman I mean I feel I know guys are under estimating my abilities I by the way I know your size you stuck up for me and I appreciate that I think I have a great figure I also just think I would suck the best dick out of everybody - wait wait wait let's press pause - that had nothing to do with what we were saying but I wanted I needed to bring something to the table add it to my event wait so you're saying you'd be a less attractive woman but you saw it right yeah no I would be like a real downed it down to do you think if you have a sewer trash if you had do you think you could really suck a dick well I don't know I thought about that like I you know there's always that's always the thing they ask in school like on the on the school bus or whatever it's like how much money for to suck a dick and I was like I don't think I'd be really that great at it that was always my but now think about it yeah that's what I mean now that your heart into it come on I mean if I had to try it close your eyes I would answer eyes I would ask for feedback I would be like do you think I've had a few so I know I also know like do you think you would be you would be slow or would you be like super aggressive with it well I'd have to get a it's like also it depends on the dick because it's like think about it if it's a big one I'd have to look at that and I'd have to be like I don't know what I can handle do you know what I write my Ralph Y so I'd have to really like get will you figure it out quick you'd have to get the groundwork though you know you go in there you get the schematics ya figure out all the dimensions this is Manny this is right in line with the show we were gonna do if you lose your vision right where the guys put their dicks only I wouldn't know it was a dick in records yeah they're like suck on this titty real quick yeah where's the nipple and they'd be like it's the whole thing [Laughter] what if the Curitiba's antivirus was you giving head I've thought about that I said I'm talking about I think I'm texted Tom I was like what if the coronavirus was like bats come or something like that yeah yeah would you suck a dick today to cure the world of this pen yeah yeah I wouldn't care if I have to cure the world I'd be like sure bring it on is such a big silly I used to tell a joke you'd be the most famous guy I use man who sucked us you guys know I would do it there would be a monument to me I just say yeah I would be like I didn't want to do it guys I didn't I wasn't here like asking to suck a dick I just thought you'd be doing stand-up on the Washington Monument I would be [ __ ] stand-up I'll be giving speeches I had a dream that all of us could go outside again and then I suck that dick so that you could be here today you know like that kinda like what if it's Josh's saliva when mixed with semen for some reason is the vaccine I love that your mind went there yeah I also feel like it couldn't be like a normal-size dick to be the cure it's like Godzilla's it's for its four brothers and they all have huge dicks four brothers your brought like related to each other the brothers and their brother what and you have to blow them all at the same time oh my god for you man you save the well could I fail at it it's my question or it's just the act of doing it no you could fail you could fail if they don't all come at the same time doctor foul she said like Star Wars it's like getting two of the things into the thermal reactors wait but you can't fit for those dicks in his mouth that one no but they got a traffic drive and they keep and then like as he's doing it it's like it's a real battle there's gonna be a real harrowing moment yeah I might not be able to do it there's like a fourth dick yeah they're like we can't get it in in it everyone's like hope is lost when you're like I don't know if I could do it and you're crying one of the guys goes I got an idea and he breaks your jaw [ __ ] you lately I got it I got in then Aerosmith starts playing what's the song the one from Armageddon do we got to do this are you down to shoot this I wanted to break his jaw it makes a real loud sound too it's open its open its just my screams with a muffle it with their dicks alright follow josh on instagram on twitter yeah and and when you know stand up again in 2020 to make sure you'll be back soon thanks Josh thanks Josh we all need a break now and then but why not keep your brain active while you relax that's why I love best fiends I play best fiends on my phone I play it when I'm watching the kids when I don't have to like fully fully returns front of them if you know what I'm saying I love it because each puzzle gets more and more challenging every level you go up I love the characters they're adorable I like the sounds and what I like is that it's just the right amount of challenge it's not too crazy and yeah I'm a fan I'm hooked I highly advise you check it out best fiends treats the game like a service for their players meaning they update the game monthly with new levels and events so it never gets old and it doesn't require the internet to play so you can play while you're offline it doesn't take up data best fiends has thousands of levels already with new levels events and characters at it every month it's hours of fun right at your fingertips and you can even play offline with over 100 million downloads and tons of five-star reviews best fiends is a must-play download best fiends free on the Apple App Store or Google Play that's friends without the are best fiends if you are listening or watching this podcast in stuck inside your house with your significant other I want you to play pay close attention today's sponsor manscape can help you out and make the most of your time together manscape promotes clean hygiene when it comes to 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let's not forget the crop preserver the anti chafing ball deodorant and moisturizer it is absolutely fantastic you gotta put deodorant on your balls you're putting it on your pit so why not subscribers get a new replacement blade refill for your lawn mower trimmer delivered to your door every three months making sure your trimmer always say fresh and clean get 20% off in free shipping with the code mom 20 at manscaped com that's 20% off with Free Shipping at manscape calm and use code mom 20 most people are loading up on toilet paper but I am loading up on manscape products help your relationship out during the quarantine your partner your body and your balls well thank you man that may mean Oh cry for dicks and dislocated drawers only you saved the world but only you and your diseased mind could think of somebody breaking jaws Josh's job well there's got to get that fourth one in that's the problem right no I know I got it I'm just saying you're the only person sick enough to think of violently harming her friend so that he could suck all those dicks to save the world and then he becomes the biggest hero in the world and do you think the statue the monument will have his jaw broken and the foresaid jaw the jaw that saved them or will they will they give him the monument intact you know like what Royce or maybe he's like this in the statue like holding his jaw up you know and then they're like oh that's the guy man that's why we're here today sucked all them dicks yeah but he did it it was respectful that's pretty cool before we stop down for our break we wanted to address because people have asked with good reason to talk about dr. drew dr. Drew Pinsky our friend a broadcaster here at your mom's house to do do jeans at inside studio jeans yeah so he was trending at the point that you're seeing this probably like a week ago because he was one of the early vocal voices that that this virus wasn't going to be as you know as big as dangerous and as traumatic as it ended up being and he was you know saying to travel and and that it would just wouldn't be so bad and then you know as it progressed and got worse you know he recently came out and said how wrong he was people have asked us like what do we think I just wanted to say for the record that I love that guy I think he's a great human being I love him to record he's a solid citizen he does so much for the community he's a wonderful guy and the the point I'm trying to make is just that yes he did get it wrong he got that wrong a lot of people got it wrong every time I spoke to dr. Drew just for the record like when this thing was starting every time I spoke to him he would tell me what he thought and I talked to a lot of doctors and I would I would listen to him and then he would go but listen man whatever you do listen to dr. pouchy listen to the CDC what they say is what you should be following and to my knowledge he also would give his opinion on shows on television say his thoughts and then always be like listen to dr. Falchi listen to the CDC listen to the w-h-o and and you know his opinions didn't always line up with them but he always tagged like listen to the specialist the whole point is this man like I said I would definitely stand up for that guy being a great person a really really really smart guy and he got this wrong that's as simple as I'm well and in his defense too you know he was giving his opinion based on the information that was available at the time and he did revise his message when the information changed and I know there's people gonna be like they always go like well where's the apology where it's out there he did I've seen so if you're wondering like well how come he hasn't he has either's I saw it on his Twitter feed and where he was couldn't be more clear that he apologized he got it wrong he didn't think it was this severe when he was saying those things so that's all you can do I think you know they say yeah I was wrong and he did that and that takes a lot of courage and also I think his message primarily was that the media is responsible for creating panic and hysteria which it [ __ ] does yeah is it necessary to have a ticker counter rolling of bodies and how many people constantly know and that is something that and to be fair like to be totally fair about like the another aspect of that is like when they were like sounding the alarm to pee at the beginning of this they also didn't know the severity of it I'm just always going to lean on alarms you know like they want it to they want the clicks they want this area and and it was basically validated as the virus spread and became you know more dangerous but it's not like they knew for sure now they'd end up like this and actually goes the opposite way this is the one time that yeah that way but the point being I think dr. drew is an excellent human being he's a solid citizen he's a good man and he owns up to his yes and some people are that's not gonna be good enough for and you know that's just the way it is you know just gonna have to go find for dicks and break it off get them all in your mouth there you go all right so that's that hope you enjoy our time coming up here with Chris D'Elia there's guest today is the president of the log cabin with babies he has no dents in his wallet or in his portfolio he is a comedian and actor who does not appear in season two of you please welcome my friend Chris D'Elia yeah this is cool it's the first time I've been in this studio I'm angry I'm happy to be here I don't want to come back thank you very much for coming man yeah we're very excited the new special just so we get it and let in people's ears right away it is out as you are listening to this that's right you can go to Netflix and watch no pain yes that's what it's called no pain Chris Delia's fourth it's more special yeah yeah I throw it on Netflix yeah that's pretty exciting yeah it is yeah yeah where'd you shoot it Minneapolis Minneapolis that's great comedy but yeah we all share an agent and you I think you shot this a week before yeah I did I shot mine and it was my first yeah mine was first yeah and I go I was de leus and he goes best first show taping I've ever seen anybody tape and I was like really and then agents always feel weird that they talk about someone else yeah yeah because I mean this is great by the way every the first special I did went well the second one went well the third one I did not go well for me really yeah it's it's probably you know is that man on fire man on fire where'd you shoot it Vancouver I remember that because I was with you the day after oh that's right as I was doing a show right at that we're vote at the vote that's right well that's why you had we went out to dinner with our with our team yeah with our team laughs yeah oh yeah doom lol and we all went out and and you told me a night which was it was that the the first show the mic just kept cutting out I mean no it's it's never happened to me before that is since here's the thing was it a wireless yes [ __ ] a wireless mic ain't never no don't let them never do you never know why yeah because I've been I've even showed up at just a regular night but it shows a theater and I look out on stage and I go is that Wireless and they'll be like yeah I'm like no really oh yeah cuz I think it I saw it special I don't remember whose cos but they had a wire with their microphone and I was like that looks bad really but but I I've seen yours and you were just wire so [ __ ] it I just yeah I just for me it's like I I've had I haven't had even what you describe which I consider a nightmare scenario it was a night people don't realize you know when you know you the you know there's there's a lot of pressure on that night if you really feel the pressure of the night you know yeah you're shooting it forever and you want everything to go well and you want it to be lit like this and you want you know the audience cool is everything and then to be like oh this thing that I'm not supposed to even think about it right it's not working and it's never been a problem before or after ever and it's like the one thing they have the only thing you need yeah no microphone no and yeah no it was just and it cut out and I was like it's not cutting out right I was like that's just my ears you know and then it did a few times and once on a punchline which is no and I only have like three of those so then at the end it was like I guess it was coming out and I'm and I feel a weirdness like nothing's really changing but you know you feel the energy and I look behind me and the [ __ ] guy like the stagehand or whatever is out there with another microphone in the middle of this special and I'm like what's up and he was like hey you need to use this one and I was like okay I had to start the story over again and then do you know I ended on this long story and and man it was just but that went well for you though no so what happened was I was like look you know you learned this and you guys know this but like as long as it seems like you're not going through anything [ __ ] up you can edit it the audience is gonna sound fine the audience was was was pretty good it was okay you know it wasn't it wasn't a bad audience and so I was like you just have to suck it up and not let the camera know and that's really hard but you know you do it yeah and I and I did it and and and I thought the first one I was like well we just gotta scrap that one which is what you never you never want to you always want to get it first yeah shoot it twice I don't you know how much of the [ __ ] you know this if you lose in this but you shoot it twice and the first one is like okay we got it pretty much yeah oh do you maybe need pieces in the second one but then this then the second one I did and I got it and it was good but for you on the first one they were like oh hey the mic cut out the whole time yes so I was like so I was like well I need to do the second one and bro I went in I don't think I've ever screamed at anybody yeah but I like doing [ __ ] like this is my life this is all I need whose [ __ ] fault isn't there like well there's another production in the area we think that it switched over to the thing and it was alright so the second one I got it and I was like not happy I was also going through a weird time in my life like I was going through a breakup and [ __ ] like that and it was just everything was bothering me so it was just like the whole feeling of the SH of the production was just like nah I didn't feel good and then I got the cut and the first show looked better because I was worried about the mic so I was going I was like it it looked better to someone who didn't know what was happening right because I was going I don't say was going harder but I was like I had it in my head like alright and look act like nothing can stop you and that made it better so I used a lot of the first one its interest which is really weird I did not expect that and then and then so the special is good I think I think mine on fire was my best material up until that point so I was I was happy with it but it was not like sometimes all the stars align that was not that was not what that was you know and so that I think because that happened I got nervous like I did a comedians of the world thing remember that thing came out that was like New Year's yeah yeah awful audience yeah we shot it at like 6 p.m. it was like [ __ ] brightest [ __ ] and you know one of the things was like alright just pretend like they're not here doing your [ __ ] living room and I felt like I performed well but the audience was like I was like what's going on because the for me the more [ __ ] like that happens the worse I'm gonna be the next time and the worse them to be the next time because I was gonna get my head you know and then for this one no pain I went through that and I was like you know what I'm not [ __ ] all this [ __ ] there's no [ __ ] way and then both shows were just great it was all the stars aligned we were taught we talked about this before like just I never felt like I really got a good good a hundred percent taping and this is that for sure do you think it's because you had been through two crappy ones you're like I did nothing I can do [ __ ] it you just have to let it ride and also though I mean like nobody would know that why because you've got so many years of experience that you know even on your worst day you're still batten whatever it's whatever sports analogy you're still back at ten or whatever the [ __ ] yeah 5-under par you know you people can't tell ya one special sick which is graceful sick I did nobody would know I did the first one I did was the papered room oh yeah and that like that's everybody's first one but I remember I went backstage after the first show and I was like they're like now you got it in the can and so now you have fun that wasn't good though like they were not good and I had done all these shows leading up to it a really live excite like and so this was my first like where I would do these bits and I go I'm used to the big pop yeah and I was like it's not happening not anyway and then we did the second show which was like slightly better and then I kind of walked out of their shell shock like oh this is not gonna play well this won't be a thing that turns out well and then I I learned from that that what's happening in the in the room when you shoot doesn't matter it's what happens as well you know so people watching it or they hear laughs you know some people they go like I thought the crowd was great I thought the question you're like what matters is that how they cut your face they're not what the antecedent is your fish and also like and then they're always like how come there's a laugh track you're like those are people yeah people so weird every time they're like weird that you had a laugh track I'm like there's 2600 people let's go yeah you hear that understand that people say that every time oh that's yeah they say you're done like sitcoms and [ __ ] yeah because like people think no I'm done specials they're like why is there a laugh track I'm like it's human beings in the room there there there know when they cut to wide shot and you see all those people yeah that's what you're hearing I don't know I want to make money but I don't want those people as fans even you know what Tom and I love most is your disdain humanity really no respect oh good yeah I wish here's what I'm trying to do maybe this is why what I admire about both of you is your ability to not give a [ __ ] if people like you or not okay and I would teach me both of you okay how do I not give a [ __ ] well okay so Whitney asked me that on her podcast really that's she was with her she was like how do you she's like you really seem like things don't get to you and I and I was like oh really because you know obviously if you're a person things get to you no matter what yeah you know um and I was like oh maybe I maybe I see more that I don't give a [ __ ] than I do and then I was like I thought about it ever since she asked me and I was like I think I well I definitely give like here's you have no time for nonsense III can't suffer fools III just kid like these mother I don't know how to do it because here's the thing good example I block anybody I got a trick I got a [ __ ] hair trigger finger it it's if you if you don't know if you don't know me then how do I know how you mean something yeah so you better come correct and if you don't then I'll block you in and I don't and I'll forget about I who are you first of all second of all afterwards who are you you know me you're the guy who somebody messages me hey man we you guys to lead on right why should know the way you should block that person you don't know the idea know that I'm gonna be like hold on a sec yeah yeah Craig hey Chris yeah you know Craig on Instagram he said that you should unblock them you should reply all those get to all those guys that say Chris blocked me I know so no so I block everybody and now I've learned because I blocked so many people that like some guy the other day said somebody somebody tweeted something like I need to laugh so I'm gonna watch everything that Chris D'Elia has ever done and then somebody replied to him and said but I thought you said you wanted to laugh and I said I wrote bro are you okay what's the problem this guy this guy had a blue checkmark and I was ready and I was ready I was ready I googled him already I'm like here we go right and he and he wrote oh it's just a joke bro and I'm like but how the [ __ ] do I know that if I don't know you if you say it if you say of course it's a joke right I know you so I didn't block him because I give ok for sure you know whatever fine like the guy was joking I'm glad because I was gonna come yeah immediately about let me just see what's up right so so then I somebody sent me a link to a thing that was like another comedian and I'm not gonna mention who it is but he blocks people and there was like a chat of yeah he blocked me too and he blocked me and me and me and like this guy's a [ __ ] he's sensitive and I was like I wonder if there's [ __ ] like this about me so I googled and there is all right so you googled it yeah I googled so I google people chris is a [ __ ] because he blocked me because I said this and by the way they said [ __ ] like you're not funny you [ __ ] [ __ ] and I'm like why the [ __ ] would I blog that yeah I don't want to see anything native sensitive or not who gives the [ __ ] so now so now there's [ __ ] like yeah I used to think it was funny but this [ __ ] you don't black me he says don't get this is my favorite don't get don't get [ __ ] he says don't get sensitive over jokes and he blocked me and like you're literally calling me like a piece of [ __ ] yeah yeah you you work at Wells Fargo oh I'm a comedian of karma [ __ ] yeah I'm a joke I make joke you know that you don't get offended at me if I'm talking about cancer culture but if you're saying hey die you piece of [ __ ] and you work at [ __ ] Kinkos dude I was [ __ ] around was joking I was joking I was saying boil to death and a pile of [ __ ] and I was saying well like respond the other day I posted something about a Tech Talk which we'll get into because I know you're an enthusiast and I it was a bit like a goth girl thing and someone DM me on Instagram no one gives a [ __ ] about your goth girl staff great and I wrote back and and ina seldom do this to you it was a man and I wrote back to him and I go you know what given that we're in the middle of this apocalypse I'm gonna let you I'm gonna give you a pass because I think you're hurting inside just whatever like [ __ ] don't let you go and he wrote back he's like you're right I'm sorry Oh and it's like so then why are you being a jerk like then just white people you know why I think people do that it's crazy one of the reasons I don't block is because I feel like it validates their desire for the attention they want and that they interpret it you're right they go like you're poke poke and then you go black and then I got something out of that guy you're right or I've also succumb to like I don't really come comment on the like the critique and people are like you said right but every once in a while you know you have it like you have it and then you usually immediately I'm like I wish I had this I know I know I know I don't want to it's an interesting thing because I feel like I feel a little bit and this is I think this is a short coming I have I think that this is a fault of mine that like when the fact that anybody can reach me yes makes me mad yeah it makes me mad because when I came up I didn't have [ __ ] John Travolta's number right do you know what I mean there was no way in hell me in LA Kenyatta's sitting around was gonna be able to say anything to John Travolta DJ yeah I know yeah he never knew by the way how many people thinks he sucks I know I think about Harrison Ford think about how [ __ ] awesome he was in the 80s there were people on the couch that were like [ __ ] this cuff guys yeah yeah and we and her subordinates and also you know what the problem is is this [ __ ] [ __ ] generation with this whole no bullying no one's ever had their asses beat yeah so these [ __ ] don't know that like guess what you could run into Chris right Julia one day you don't know if he's a [ __ ] psycho and he could be like [ __ ] you Johnny ham or one57 I remember you [ __ ] and you could have hurt him I could secretly like a full list in his cars thank you what's your handle again and he just gets out of it like I know you map or no block what are you block one thing I love though you have this I've seen Joe do this too is that you guys as soon as somebody is like lingering in an annoying way like if they're if they're being i i don't like it about myself then if someone's like hey man big fan I'll be like oh thanks and then you know I'll sit down and they're like hey you remember the episode and I'll be like what's that and they'll start the time I'm like oh yeah okay thanks man and then I'll turn back down they're like just you don't really like it when you know yeah I'll do the whole thing and I'm so nice I will yeah that's great alright and then you know at worst I'll just I'll be like I got it I'm actually late you know okay what you and Joe was like like we were having coffee and that guy was like I'm a big fan you guys I was like we were both like oh thanks a lot we both said thanks a lot he's like you know it's a tough time you make this left we were like that's thank you very much and then he walked away yeah and then he was like if you ever want like wrist belts ya fingered thumb it was like yeah and then I was like oh that's cool and then he walked away again and came back and was like I here's my card and I was like okay and Chris was like yeah thanks a lot so and he just completely dismissed it and I was like oh my god I don't I didn't even think that that was a UH I thought I was being nice by the way cuz I'm like you get you get to and it's great and I'm nice I'm nice for two for two but like sometimes but sometimes for two I did one where there was this guy you know the combi stores like a worse for that there's nowhere to hide and I don't want to go in the beach bar in the back the back beach bar where it's like yeah go for all the time we could be out there but you can't know so I [ __ ] I hang because I'm not gonna it you're not gonna change what the [ __ ] I'm doing you understand right just because you want to talk about some something yeah and so I'm hanging in the back and I'm with four people five people and like two of them I hadn't seen in a long time it was awesome to see him yeah and all of a sudden you know how you just feel sometimes there's somebody there lingering yeah like so like like dude I never want to be this guy man like my nightmare in the world is to be some be a certain way that I don't know I am right yeah nightmare to be unaware of how your being yeah me too I'm most horrible annoying person no but that big because you have that means you're not that person because the person who really is doesn't have that aware no like well you just want to turn and you want to be like hey man you don't know you're being like this and somebody that loves you should tell you yeah but you're a [ __ ] weird tall lanky guy just hooking over in onto my shoulder yeah just step back a few paces turn around and talk to the person in the other direction right if you know them right but but but because it's the Comedy Store and literally and I'm not trying to toot my own horn like I'm whatever say what you want about me but there's there's comedians there that are [ __ ] like world class comedians and I see [ __ ] talk to them and that's like talking about talking of being at a Cardinals game I'm talking about pull holes yes in between and you're like dude let it bad yes okay so so so I'm hanging out at the Comedy Store I haven't seen [ __ ] two or three of these guys in a long time I used to work with him it was so awesome and there's a [ __ ] tall lanky guy walking over right and I feel this and I turn around and he's now he is starting conversation which is okay if I want to say one or two things right thanks then it goes off from me and he just he's in the conversation now and he's driving the conversation okay and I haven't seen these people and the people that I haven't seen are like do you know this guy to me right yeah so now I look like I have weird [ __ ] friends Yeah right yeah so so I want them to know he's not my friend I want him to know that he shouldn't be doing this anymore right okay and so he tells a joke and my other friends laugh all right and it's not funny all right do like a courtesy yes and and I went like he went like this I said I said that's amazing my friends laughed so hard because they thought we were friends right and in that moment they realized no this was just a god this guy just walked in yeah and ice and I went oh [ __ ] I haven't seen these people in a long time man and you're driving this conversation and I don't know you and it was just great and then you walked away yeah you walked away yeah but here's but here's here's what I want I want you to know and if you're listening I want you to know this I genuinely love that guy I am NOT Aang I am NOT you know I got to get frustrated I got to get angry I got to let it out yeah because I love that guy because I love people it's not sometimes people get the wrong idea you're like you're a [ __ ] dick and this and that dude we're all in this together yes and I've been a guy like that in a way boys and I love that guy and because that guy's doing that it's funny to me I don't hate that guy right but I got to come out and I got if you can't let it just simmer and then I'm gonna get cancer in ten nine years I mean that shit's gonna become cancer you've got to come out and say like here's what you're doing bro and then I feel better because if you're gonna make me feel like this then I got to feel better one time we were in the some guy came by yeah big big fan I was like thanks he's like Chris a big fan you went like okay he's like hey you guys and you're like oh I'm just talking to someone man and he was like oh okay I I don't know I find I find so much satisfaction in witness a good eye I like there's like sometimes I make up rules in my head to like if I were out and I saw some guy talking to a girl I don't know the situation it could be his wife it could be his girlfriend it could be a girl he's trying to impress it could be agent it could be a co-worker I don't know but my rule is and for guys talking to a girl you just don't interrupt that guy okay yeah so if a guy ever comes up to me and I'm talking to whoever I can be talking to you it doesn't matter if it's a girl I say I'm talking to a I'm talking to a girl man no I know I say but what are you doing yes this is against the code it is it is I had one time III I used to open with for Jo a lot you know I travel with him and I feel like even though he's so famous now when I look back he felt that even though he wasn't as famous as you he felt super famous whenever we would be in public and she saying yeah I mean like well yes yeah so like like everybody it felt like everybody even ten years ago was like hey yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah and after shows if we would go out or something there would always be weird guys yeah you know and I think it's like yes weirdos yeah and they would be like Jo he'd be like yeah and they would linger and he'd be like the [ __ ] are you doing here you know they would go away I would laugh every time and one time we went to this restaurant in San Jose after the show and there's some weirdos and and this guy was like hey man he's like what you say and you know the guy kind of said something he was like okay well we're gonna eat now so you know get out of here something and the guy was like no no but he was like dude what are you doing like what yeah and then we sat in these booths yeah at this restaurant and the guy jumped in the booth no necks at all no seeing Jo it must have sensed that on some level yeah one more and then with one hand push them all out he went like that and the guy were flying out of the booth like launched and then the guy was like all right just took off after that tell you guys well let me run a scenario by you and I would love to have a who the [ __ ] are you yeah yeah so this is I've been thinking about this for months I was doing this club a few months back and that there's this door guy the bouncer the room bouncer yeah he's an older gentleman he's been working at the club for many many years and I've I've known him over the years acquaintances we're not bros we don't drink together whatever he's an employee I'm kind to everybody so by the second night of shows I'm standing in the show room I'm watching the feature act I'm getting ready to go up and he does this thing where he comes up next to me and he like bumps into me and it's one of those like junior high and I just [ __ ] looked at him I was like uh-oh bro like to me I was ready to [ __ ] do a Joe Rogan like no push yeah and like what should I have done because I'm trying to think of a great comeback do you know what I mean like what would have been you don't want to be [ __ ] different for a woman yeah yeah yeah it's it's absolutely worse for a woman because you have that added thing where it's like oh you could murder me yeah or rape no more yeah or or or and also oh you you know usually it's oh you want to have sex with me you know with a guy it's like bro you're just being weird as I go okay the worst you were gonna [ __ ] anyway the worst I think about preshow someone [ __ ] with me pre-show is that like when your instinct is they get angry you have to like stop yourself because you know that if you truly get angry that you're not funny like it's yeah if you get real if you like man [ __ ] you like yeah Arius anymore yeah so I it's hard because if somebody does that I want I think like almost the thing is you either have to like have like disdain quiet that's what I did that's what I did you know I mean like and get and give them nothing yeah that's what I did I was like what the weird though when they if they're doing like the hip bump or the Petacchi ash you know what I should do tell on him that's a good move final tell [ __ ] that I think I should tattle yeah you know they're warning you know this person I did I know who it is I'll tell ya off mic I [ __ ] hope and I love the manager of this club - I really I really like we're getting close to revealing it alright I'm gonna do it I have you I can tell by the way I just want to ask have you seen you've seen Larry King talk about Mark Wahlberg no you didn't see that oh man no no wait wait wait starring alongside Mark Wahlberg walesburg in instant family all right you share the screen with mark so it's a crazy right that's crazy that he but then we aren't you know what's great about you is you say yeah you got it the way you said it you legitimately could have said any words in the world you could have said I have a Lamborghini and and it doesn't matter we all knew what you meant and that's that you often have that you often have we know what you're saying no matter what you're saying and that's a true talent is you know how hard it is to actually pick the words to make somebody understand what you're saying and you don't even need to do that that's x-men [ __ ] thanks man what we found that then blew me away cuz I love that Larry did this so much and and he's got other ones which we'll get to but that that apparently Wahlberg's name has been I mean and then I mean I don't know if you've even seen that this guy so that I'm doing it because I like Mark Wahlberg we have recent minions and then or fucksake the only one what is burr wearing this is the only one that tops that one okay this one [Music] [Laughter] he's struggled hard you know who's like Mark Wahlberg Mark Wahlberg well I stumbled Mark Wahlberg I stumbled there wow that's marking yeah you know who's like that for me a hundred percent I never say it right and I just say it wrong and I don't try to like Russell Westbrook Russell Westbrook russell westbr westbrook Wow Russell West Russell Russell Russell Atari Russell Westbrook Russell that's what I do all the time I feel like a [ __ ] baby say it again Russell Westbrook yeah hi yeah [ __ ] him I just say whatever and then that's it who would be a prettier trans woman you were Tom oh he would be I don't know bro dude hold on okay yeah here you got the gravy in your hair it's beautiful you shave your lean you I mean I put you in a pair of heels yeah very tall oh let me just say something great makeup let me just say even either of us trans yeah nobody's [ __ ] either of us so I think there's some people out there that would be interested you know I think I I don't know I got like a big nose you have a nicer face do it yes a nice nose man you have a nicer face your nose is great you know that we presented this this proposal to our staff here and people like legitimately were like I would be hotter like they really got worked up yeah the dog thinks he would be a beautiful plus-sized woman right there on mic what do you think of those three I mean he looks like he'd be a [ __ ] librarian and she would like and you'd be like who even still is a library is the Internet it's always a quiet thick lady yeah you'd be like Shh and you'd be like I'm just gonna google it [ __ ] you Andy and Potter Potter small which I think he'd be like a cute petite you know yeah like he has just need he has so much hair but then you know I feel like Chris in there is also like you and that he has that shoulder length hair yeah you know might be and it's soft and pretty and it's got nice soft curls in it Chris has got really nice here yeah um I I don't know I I do uh I don't know I I think I would have nice legs for a girl but because I have like thin legs I can't gotta get more muscle on my [ __ ] well but that's good for the transition that's what I'm saying yes so I have that yep so did you I think you would appreciate this this is I think this is a it's silent in that it's a there's no audio but so we'll have to walk through it but this is this is video footage from a security camera somewhere I think in the India or something like that so see this guy's on his phone and then a guy wearing the same shirt runs by him runs past them and then here comes the cop no [ __ ] he's like get the [ __ ] over here the guys like dude it's a shirt a shirt ran by you know when they you know it's like it's a bit racist they're like you all look alike but it's this is like a [ __ ] Owen Wilson move it is man and even the dog knows look the dogs like it's and I am like and then he's like you get the [ __ ] side yeah because you know there's no justice this guy is just gonna get put to death right by the way why is that guy wearing the other guy get more outfits like a bad video get more outfits man that's so funny the one that reminded me I don't know why but oh just because it was about beating but like yeah uh my opener Michael anoche he was god this guy like he's just hmm not the brightest you know that's all the time and he is my opener and you know when I'm at my shows there are thousands of people there and they're all they're all there to see me sure like and he and and not not not by the way have you ever tried to go in backstage to your own show and they're like whoa whoa whoa buddy and you're like I'm it's me look here in there laughs all right all right you know so got yelled at once when doing that really walking hey hey like that as I was walking - hey man you can't just walk I was like I'm the guy Wow doesn't matter come back over oh okay all right buddy your job matters so so mmm lonoa was in the front doing something with merch and instead of going the back way he walked through the audience and jumped onstage to go to the back and nine security guys tackled him and was n-word and we're like you can't do that with my merch shirt just like no no no I'm open I'm not open er he was screaming out dude and then everyone saw it and then then he had to go onstage and do 20 did he open with it yeah yeah I mean dude that's hilarious and he's like isn't that [ __ ] up they did that and I'm like no man they don't even know who I am yeah I was like how could you think that that's okay if you ran up a front and just jumped on yeah that's so funny didn't you post you yeah you posted the other day about Kenneth Copeland he's a great preacher oh yeah and yeah he's been I don't know he's been fiery have you followed him for a while no I knew I had I realized after I posted that that I had seen the video is that a lot don't you say I believe in devil yes yeah yes that's right so he he he's uh if if you were gonna like I I don't like I believe that everybody kind of does like people say like oh this guy's a bad guy that guy's a bad guy like everybody nobody really thinks they're a bad guy right like everyone thinks they're doing the right thing Republican Democrat whatever the [ __ ] I think that guy he knows he's doing even a guy who robs a bank as I got to do it for my family you know but this guy is just like [Laughter] [ __ ] bad guy he's a bad date wasn't he selling the colloidal silver that that fights kovat night he was selling a remedy for the corona virus it's just colloidal silver it's like he does all the such a piece of [ __ ] like heels and car wrecks one of them's a bicycle rings different injuries to the neck making it up cheer as it's happening you know it's like it's one case there is restoration coming and the difference between healing and restoration is the bones in your neck are having to be miraculously restored do you realize to your healing to take place how you can hose people just if you're able to articulate thoughts like this guy is a he could be a broadcaster you know he can speak and just by that skillset and then his evilness he's able to do like run this rack he's an entertainer and yeah they should be taxing him like an entertainer which [ __ ] is that he's protected from paying taxes which is crazy it's a really interesting thing like it's a really [ __ ] like I learn a lot from guys like this like you you can just say whatever you a truth is amusing is true and and you and you as long as you sound like you mean it I mean Trump does that all the time I don't like to get political but he doesn't know things he talks about and he's like this is how it is and you're like and people are just like yeah millions millions of people early um yes say money does it ya know yes but that's a real power and I think a lot of people don't realize that that's a real thing and I and I I started to do that I got a you know I'm people to just believe what I'm saying believe what I'm saying yeah yeah good to have an airplane it was a Vickers Board of Directors on that airplane but that airplane had been parked for several uses just it was a four engine turboprop airliner the baby's board first came along and then this is the one you were talking about fly commercial so that you can fly in luxury how much money did you pay for Tyler Perry's Gulfstream jet for example well for example that's really none of your big great slam oh here we go I paid oh wow Oh taught me off guard here okay thank you lord help this many praises well let me let me just ask you a really simple question a lot of people think it's unbecoming for a preacher to live a life of luxury and to fly around in private jets what's your response to that very simple it takes a lot of money to do what we do without the airplane that we have that I bought from Tyler Perry and I didn't pay anywhere any Tyler's one of the greatest guy he made it he made that airplane so cheap for me I couldn't help but buy it my question well okay alright but I want to get to the demons because people are very concerned about that comment chance your inside division I love your eyes oh you don't like to fly commercial because you don't want to get into a tube with a bunch of demons do you really believe that human beings are demons no I do not and don't you ever say I did Wow we wrestle not with flesh and blood but principalities and powers I believe that last part but other than that dude he should have just said no and got his car laughing yeah why do you entertain it and hurt anyone saying who are you that's the [ __ ] and drove I hope we'll start doing Pat Robertson's the one that's selling colloidal silver oh oh and also a piece of [ __ ] what's the guy Baker Jim Baker all selling buckets of mashed potatoes did you know that for what end of time for the end of time so get these buckets and get your mashed potatoes yeah yeah it's pretty cool to that guy I love the lips all of it all of this [ __ ] that he does to buy time yeah you know I mean like okay let me pray or you got beautiful eyes and like listen just that even that is armor yeah nice the other guy the other guy the other guy what a [ __ ] that other guy like like the guy the guy on the left of course he's crazy but that guy on the right is a [ __ ] [ __ ] cuz here's the deal it's got to sell the bit though right of course of course he's the height man but there's a guy the guy on the left at least maybe one iota believes in what he's saying which I don't believe but you know the guy on the right doesn't believe what the [ __ ] my left the same yes I think it's insidious to the wives that support these douchebags remember Tammy Faye you know she's still whoever he's got nuclei new what she doesn't say talking to Kovac 19 right there yeah well I hope you can cure it I mean that'd be cool if it works what if he's the one that actually what if it's him yeah released it he's the one who release them and then he prays so hard that it goes away pretty cool did you want to show you said you wanted to show Chris some of your talked about this before do you want a corona or oh no you better not be a trick talks i'd be curating these painstakingly rona themed and non-career because this this pandemic has inspired many different genre where should we start karana or non corona start non Quran I know yeah I'll mix it up all right judge me because I'm for Diwali all right what's going why did you know mood for people - what - bullet to bully that's she has surgery surgery what was the surgery did she go on is there another test I can tick talker I have here is she just said she had surgery I'm assuming it's on her lip because it's pulled cut up I think cuz I want to be clear these are Christina's so what made you well I just think it's interesting that I like when people acknowledge what other people are writing in the comments why would you acknowledge the negative attribute that's true just cuz ya'll I say not have big guns like don't know that it is an interesting thing because you're just get you're letting them have it you're looking right yeah what is this surgery did she get the surgery is it a medical thing or is it like I guess now you're delving too deep but we don't know it's not it will never dull even up on this yeah she does have a lot of gums but she is gummy so [ __ ] like girls kind of with a lot of gum you do you like that like big teeth - yep yeah like that I do you like I'm gummy though no maybe not gummy but like that that like she like I mean I wouldn't you know but she she that's okay that does not not weird yeah yes fine it's fine right yeah so I've noticed a lot of people think it's cool to be evil music this guy noticed that that's not cool so what type of like cycle you think he's been on to get there yeah I mean he hasn't been like this is no life this is like you know I mean this is personality six or something yeah you're sorry identity he used to listen to Dave Matthews and we're [ __ ] Phoenix yeah and then he fell into heroin and then he came out of it of the course yes he's transgender Jesus now there's this a whole new Lane on the talk where people are going whoa stop stop don't scroll let me pray for you and so he prays for people he tells you that Jesus is like punkest [ __ ] so there's a whole there's a whole new Lane it's it's this kind of [ __ ] works like I don't have guest on my podcast but like I want to have a guess yeah so what's up and I come I start mad this is episode [ __ ] 203 what's up man tell me what's going on dude you got five [ __ ] minutes my cool guy that's a cool guy with the underarmor look how messy his sweater is I know his face is like another cuz you know why cuz that's the worst hoodie I've ever seen in my life just [ __ ] a big underarmour thing and then how messy it is dude I know I want to take it off if you because here's the thing if you have a hoodie you have another hoodie right nobody even somebody who's dirt rat [ __ ] poor he has one hoodie right no cuz the hoodie is not something you need but what do you think is on his face he has somebody worse [ __ ] with when he was passed out now here's here's the best part pull that dude pull that dudes ankles so he's not [ __ ] yeah I'm that like his friends suck dude yeah yeah easy prop them up a little bit prop him up or pull him down this is why you're here see Chris understands the nuances of all these talks you it's about nuance like always something smartass to say about somebody's video [ __ ] you [ __ ] your mom [ __ ] your dad [ __ ] your family and [ __ ] you [ __ ] that was fine at Lowe's for you when somebody chooses social media to target yeah an express aggression you know sometimes you see it in written form where they're like I don't know there's no real [ __ ] friends out there and you're not my [ __ ] friend you don't even need to be following me you're like what is all the stuff coming from but this [ __ ] you the real vocal aggressive [ __ ] you that was for you also specifically for you it started with [ __ ] you and ended with and [ __ ] [ __ ] you this finally [ __ ] yeah it was it came it was like inception it came to the bay you know but I don't what I love is you don't have haters right wow you made it all up yeah who's hating you like there your friend is upset with you or what yeah one person or they'll or this will be like a message for like if I have any fun if you're not gonna be my real friend and you're just talking to like one person didn't text you back how many followers can feeling some type of way have it's not have followers like there's nobody hating you crazy this is like these she's mad like because like nobody like on her birthday nobody [ __ ] right I mean that is exactly what it is this is a PSA for everybody on tick-tock okay me and my wife have not forget why we started the tiger pack o to protect people from being bullied o to get them off this app oh well that will never happen for Down syndrome okay to keep having fun a lot of fun to help get pedophiles off went back and then when true yeah just because we show each other love doesn't mean it's all about us whoa we know why we started this tiger pack my wife I just wanted to say real quick okay I mean that's a cliffhanger but go ahead well I'm just a big fan of the camera positioning and lighting that's always a good idea my film from underneath into a spotlight that is very bad but put it this way the guy probably hasn't taken many pictures so you know you know what if Anne comes up and you're like alright come over here yeah the guy doesn't get that that's fine it's nice one let's not fault him for that let's call him for the affliction shirt dude any shirt shirt that has a [ __ ] tattoo on it yeah is no worse because just get the tattoo or don't wear the shirt don't worry you're so [ __ ] it's hideous it's flan wiser yeah why so many there's a type of man that gravitates I know too big it's a divorce you wily divorced you watch Tiger King yes Jeff Jeff Lo is working on a [ __ ] farm in Oklahoma he's I got my affliction [ __ ] on chains to have bandanas and yeah what are you doing and the biker jacket what are you doing what are you doing you're out in a feeling it's like I love I love when a fat guy gets a leather jacket like oh oh dude you're sexy now bro bro bro hit the treadmill diet and then get the leather jacket that is [ __ ] it play the part do the actual thing that you are not the thing because you've seen too many movies right I love it [Laughter] members of our family hmm such a long message I will be right there helping I don't care who it is everybody keep shiny oh this is that was a good one doesn't really go that was a good one was that was a really good one though most people would just want to stand up for one of those things yeah yeah yeah make that your mission yeah I mean disability also just having fun yeah having fun that's mine but what but this guy I hope he doesn't consider this [ __ ] with his family no it's joking we're not we don't want any smokes oh no he's no no no for all our sakes we need to avoid crowds any way we can right now but what if you need to go to the post office what if you need postage to send out letters and packages don't worry stamps.com is here to help how anything you can do at the post office you can do it stamps calm print postage on demand skip those lines and crowds at the post office plus you can actually save some money with discount so you can't even get at the post office stamps calm brings all the services of the US Postal Service right to your computer in the safety and comfort of your own home office or anywhere else you are hunkering down right now whether you're a small business sending 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microphone at the top of the homepage and type in mom that stamps comm enter the code word mom stay safe my friends that's okay I don't like children in that way this is a [ __ ] Serbian film or herbert the pervert or michael jackson and I know the pause you know into many I'm done responding you know what I'm gonna block every single one of you nice who suggests I like men because I don't why is he doing oh wow just nice doc that was for the high that was for the Deaf when he gave the finger dude my favorite is he still going yeah under nice started didn't wasn't sure how he's doing he's doing he just watch the movie twister you know when there look when they do the [ __ ] yelling when they're just like the acting the acting yelling yeah I hate that's what he's doing the [ __ ] [ __ ] when they win the war far wait a minute when I don't yell wait cuz actors when they're doing the scene it's not really making all that noise right and then it's bad acting so we do just yell like normally and then yeah we can have you hello fantastic you were great pedophile creep and the other guy wouldn't stand for it it was so hard to watch that because I loved we love you so much and I was like you know he's a good guy the people I've gotten so many comments that like hey man how was that decision that was it weird now that you played that like did you not think it about doing people have said have you not did you not I think that through I was like and I was like what do you mean and they were like well cuz you played like a pedophile and I was like do you know what acting is like it doesn't mean I'm a pedophile like yeah I don't understand what the look it's like bad look man like we did a fantastic job you sometimes I look at like sometimes a you know because when you do a part in a movie or a show or something I'll be like what do you think of this do you want to wear this do you think the character that I've always just been like yeah whatever you think yeah and I did that for you obviously because like the guy supposed to be a douche bag and stuff and then I and then I like watched Hobbes and Shaw and they all look so good in all of their outfits yeah no matter what now I get that those are action movie stars but I'm like oh man you could you could look good and stuff you could just say hello and then just get a good outfit yeah you could just you did look good you look so stylish really very photogenic yeah like it way more I am row that I'd rather that you're not a good trans woman yeah do you want to go down your next talk here these are great okay thank you these are great I appreciate your appreciation Oh same guy medium oh wow I have so much time so I'm gonna just go ahead and say listen I mean I'm sorry to say something so much I mean like the fact that Michael Jackson would would feel now was the time like to come clean and through her is odd yes pick Elon Musk or or yeah it is an interesting choice that he was like I gotta come back that she picked a lady from The Drew Carey Show me me okay right and to come out on tik-tok which is right interesting too yes a hot app could've chosen like a news anchor right right right in the middle of a news yeah thing Barbara Walters like oh my god yeah by the way I'm a pedophile and of this as Michael Jackson [Laughter] you know Michael Jackson you would never see him again ever anyway they wouldn't really annunciate so well no I'm gonna stop that one yeah it's when she was gonna say she because it because I like short hair but then she realized oh Michael Jackson doesn't like short hair right she's a [ __ ] phony Wow oh and about a fight that we had this morning Oh over me wearing earrings by the way didn't you always you always said that like you can tell things about a woman by how she applies her makeup how would you describe it for a listener okay pencil thin eyebrows are always a sign of severe mental illness and then when you line the lips and a color that's different than that from the actual lipstick color it's going in that's highly mentally ill yeah she's got a lot of problems she's got some mental illness a lot of mental yeah she does I don't know something about it really puts me I think maybe it's Michael are you that somebody really that was almost touching and Sam yeah um I love the the ha ha ha Joker hoodie here's dude have you seen the guys that dress up and think they're Joker for real yeah that sounds like a very your mom's house thing to [ __ ] yeah well I just thought that it was an interesting choice for a singles ad like I had my name is done Anna trans and I'm looking for someone like it was a strange train of its it wasn't a coherent you know this guy's like oh yeah no I don't do those dating sites and then would use two three four five six seven eight nine so far he's done one yeah that wasn't that good push-ups at all really I was actually that was one and one and three fours he was [ __ ] the grass that's how I do a push-up he does way more than me that's a nice Park by the way in a seminal hair I thought it was too by the way it's a there's a repeat guy I know I know I was going to say that she has showed me his work before yeah his talks not huge he talked locked and it get weirder he started weird and then it got weirder it did and I I was about to close that fold the only picture the only thing I mean the guys only got a beard on his neck the third guy no face beer did you notice that no oh yeah look that's weird what is it I've never seen that before in my life the chinstrap look let me tell you something right now that guy right there is the grossest man I've ever seen in my life what he's doing what he has with his neck he's [ __ ] the top I mean dude it's awful just awful everything totally that guy sucks Pig Norman something you know stick cups gonna need babies for seven hours now I know I felt like we had a strong contender for you there I know oh my god seven hours cool tats you love tattoos why is it I have this what I do like is the thug life this is so gross yeah when did this has that this looks like like when did he get all this [ __ ] on I think he's been working on it for a while it's not like a one and done you don't think you don't think like you don't you don't he didn't start at 20 no no that's the thing 40 his uh watch his sign off because he signs off he looks so happy right there yeah who's miss Talan that's as good as couple he's our property and here's the thing are some of those markers and some of those tacks or are those all they look kind of faded to be under fresh marker I think they're tats because that's how a twos look after they've been but also like on his head he's got a pig pig and stop playing with your tits that's so gross that is the whole point oh and and and and here's the thing about the if that guy imagine that guy dressed up completely and with a hat you would have no idea we were saying yes and he's like there's mr. Summerville yeah male they older man yeah you would no idea yeah otherwise I don't like it if he's that guy all the time out in public I don't like it no but if he hides it and then comes home and does that I like in a spat and imagine if you had the discovery of like you always see him at your coffee shop like oh yeah yeah yeah and then one day just happened to stop at his house mister Somerton and he was like do you like my tits oh my god that's like I can't even like even when I was a kid when I would see my teacher at like the grocery store I'd be like was your teacher I think he's a teacher does have teacher vibes yeah he's probably like like a junior high which is why he's like Georgia pig tips can you help me learn long time is not a weirdest so strange dude have like grandkids like that's the problem if you don't have kids and your kids don't have kids yeah if you are a kid you have to have kids otherwise your parents are [ __ ] like if you just imagine being someone and then you have and then you have kids and then your kids are 40 and 45 and 50 and they don't have kids and you're a grant and you're that in you're 80 and you're just like well what the [ __ ] was this all about that put a dog leash on me there you go yeah well I'll shave my face but not my neck don't you dare you feel like like these people in this guy are like just could you could just dial it one notch and they could be sadistic and keep you in a done oh yeah yeah I think these are kind of the scariest people I've ever seen in a weird way right like they got ya know the brink of insanity yeah I mean well there's like if I'm one of these guys asked me what my favorite movie is hey what's your favorite movies I shut that's how quickly and that yet that's how quick they do it and that's what it is I feel like these guys I mean this guy has a ridiculous collection you know I mean of pornography the things you have you can't even a matter you know what's really alarming too is that we've had people that are into pop play which is where they put on like a pot mask let me put a tail up your ass whatever it's done in closed quarters it's done between four walls yeah this is out in the streets this is like a square yeah yeah it's way creepier though yeah we creepier whether I want to laugh or cry but you ready for this okay I'm three and a half weeks pregnant and found out today so congratulations yes name of your podcast oh my god yeah good too late already been mentioned yes Oh three weeks pregnant there's no such thing no not really either before to be yeah look at him just get in the paper I kind of like that he's like you know what your big kind of an [ __ ] yeah and put me out there like this I I had that lamp growing up in my house yeah add that to you oh yes I switch to your corona ones sure if you guys feel like these are great thank you hi ladies if prisoners I just wrote get a last meal are all the lonely ladies - tik-tok give me something good to eat before the virus gets me that's like the best one what a lot of them stick their tongue out this is the worst thing to do the worst I mean if you like chicks though chicks like that chicks like Sarah they go like oh I like to have my box eating how would you eat it and you go yeah you'd do that to me as a joke all the time and it's horrible it's disgusting nobody like you know I do a show me something this guy's cool work earlier this guy here yeah he's good so do you feel like now that maybe 30 years ago he he got laid a bunch just been a while so he goes like maybe like when when he was getting laid he could walk up to chicks and do [ __ ] like that so he goes like bring that bring that back out see if that works on the talk yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah definitely he's probably just not meeting people now right he used to probably go to concerts like I feel like he was like a rock guy yeah and you could probably you know you're at some [ __ ] Aerosmith concert at girls like six beers deep but yes smoke a numbers game yeah yeah he's like someone in these comments is gonna be like hey I like really he's kind of a trashy guy yeah is that like a Ted Nugent concert stupid yes yeah I got you and there's enough people in the world yeah that's you can do that and then have a fan someone listen up idiots oh no virus it was not a goddamn joke people I'm here joking about Crono virus and like pretending they have it and dropping dead like are you joking it's coming it's not funny Wow yeah with the also the words listen up idiots up on it on the thing even though she said it yeah I just liked her intensity is very intense I mean so this was posted when we were told to quarantine oh right so this is spring break like a week ago or whatever in Fort Lauderdale yeah you're a bad person yeah I like that one interview where they were like is our break man yeah we were waiting it's like III you know I'm a white guy and I can't stand that people are like white men are the problem and because it's annoying and then you see that and you're like all right why everyone's a problem [ __ ] yeah sure everyone my men are a problem everyone on that supercut were white guys like like when that news piece first went out oh yeah yeah he was like watching it it was just like white guy blonde girl white guy and they were all like thigh one meant a party and I wanted a party ax and you're like great it's a great race we've been planning this that's the báb speak yeah yeah totally a lot of the cup down here all semester okay a lot of people are asking me do I think the corona virus is a sign of the end times oh really Billy answer to that is absolutely yes but then they'll ask me but wait a minute there's been pestilences for a long time why do you think this is any different and I would just say I don't think the corona virus is any different I think the last 100 years of sicknesses on the earth is different from the 1918 Spanish flu to the HIV pandemic - now the corona virus - what we've seen over the last 10 to 20 years SARS MERS h1n1 there is a huge increase in C viruses or yeah no no no it's definitely worth Jesus pestilences would be a sign of his coming as I absolutely believe the Lord's is he pronouncing that right Jess is coming we didn't spell it right Jess is coming oh yeah Joe pestilences but past you I don't know plural postulants I think it's still Chris you're smart invested the plural of pestilent no night noise Chris plural pestilence what is he it looks like it says pestilence pestilence he said pestilence pest like flatulence alright pestilence pestilence it's pestilence not pestilence correct well this guy I like how he said a lot of people been asking me is it time and then I say yes and then they say and then another thing which means more than how many people asked him these two questions in a row absolutely believe the Lord's coming is near jess is coming soon ready well get your heart that was the message of get your you follow this psycho source of course I'm big into like the religious nuts on tick-tock do you ever connect something as a Jewish guy do you ever see like a Christian like vocal guy like this and you just go why didn't they round up these guys you know what why is it always up like what is up with these Christians I mean you guys like talk about that all the time like that do we do we talk about like at your meetings you know like what these weird as Christians I mean it has always been weird cuz we've never been ones to recruit right so seeing recruitment is like yeah we should we shun people away three times before we actually pursue it yeah so the way to go the way to go the waiting is the way to go goddamn yeah one more here just want to give a little shout out to the CDC who's trying to instill fear in Christians and non-christians are there little posts that they put on every single person that talks about the colonel iris I am your local authority I'm a board-certified psychiatric mental health nurse practitioner and Jesus told me to go back to school so I'd be given the authority to not prescribe if I want so uh guys don't be afraid the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom I would take her on a date right take her out cause she's crazy where's Weiss yes you know what the that one is kind of you can that one is kind of sad to me you can see that she's like so not well and it's not fun enough to be oh you you sense sad click that off of that and then just was real sad yeah you know like Michael Jackson lady clicked it off and thought great yeah yeah I got I got that ones in the can right but she clicked it off and just sat down and was like no I sense a lot of moxie because her name is at warrior bride she is a God warrior good observation you know that's a good [ __ ] observation III gotta say that's a good second observation yeah she was like I am I'm [ __ ] doing it for God today it's a good [ __ ] yeah you might have just sad and angry to you I see I see emptiness I see darkness I see a lost you know like a troubled person yeah but I'm also very attracted to it you know and I feel like you like the broken wing I do I would I would ask her like I'd be like you believe all these [ __ ] Christmas you know CDC sending up this [ __ ] like I would feed into it take her out like see me see so [ __ ] stupid you know one of those things tell me what to do oh it sounds smartest people that we have there yeah but AP smart Allah to really get her going you should start to really get her going you should start off with you know I was thinking never mind oppression say this but the cdz yeah that's not where it's at yeah they don't know and then she would be like no no I'm glad you said that no no no no no oh my god I said I like girls with big teeth the music so much to unpack yeah I mean first of all I think my by far my favorite part is she is there's this part where she shedder darts her eyes go to the right like am i these are right like did I put them in right because it doesn't feel right that's good and then [Music] skis the thing it feels so uncomfortable she's smiling like that she's probably like this doesn't feel good in my mouth those are not natural look and she's afraid to smile too big cuz they'll pop right out of course they will is this is the mask before after a cut she says all are smoking whatever the folks she's that she's a pretty woman she's okay yeah but he looks better without teeth can you play the whole thing again yes sure of course oh hey look oh wow those look really cool and natural it's really good that looks good are those perfect smiles well okay the dart the I dart yet let me see those are perfect did you put the bottom ones in the top I think so yeah those look like bottom Halloween Oh where's the perfect smile did we lose them why do you guys have multiple things to put in your mouth back there I don't know the perfect smile is always a how the [ __ ] do you lose the perfect strike josh says maybe it's in the drawer we looked you have Josh put them away put away the teeth Josh here we go look at that those are a norm gets ya I can go out now no those are her no well must she sound with those into you know yes I was too short hey I'm cheddar there we go that jeremy renner dude a guitar in the bathroom a guitar in the bathroom hanging your rocks dude you don't [ __ ] rock when you know rock rock did I'm doing it wrong that schizo dancing did they take down the one that I loved like where he was like yeah what up hunts that one that's gone aim to schizo bonking leg up first of all [ __ ] you that's the guy right yeah started again it's him okay tranquility it says in the back [ __ ] tick-tock the leader my last [ __ ] talk net worth whatever [ __ ] you don't ask questions okay Oh what I'm gonna do this is the only thing I could think of to take my aggression out on tick-tock there's a whole lane of talkers that we're tick-tock we'll take down their content and then they get mad and post these like you know what his other ones called his original it says tranquillity in the background is this guy character it's too much irony it's it does feel like I don't know if I need to say something to you guys I got put on tick tock hey guys I'm five minutes late for the podcast I'll be there sorry I think I went in the back way why don't they know that this is a worldwide platform like why don't they know like the guy the guy who's like crying - there's a guy who got a post on here and he's like I'm sorry I'm sorry um we please call me back like a text message it's not a text message what are you doing so okay like do you think they're just low IQ yeah I don't know I don't know let me see I'm so dying to know I just don't understand either and there's such a it's such a good Lane yeah it is I like the private messages Nick yeah no I won't you called me back and then this guy is really sad he's like I love you so much guys this would be my last video for a while okay sorry I was a those what they're like I'm getting off at ictus my favorites are e I've been absent online lately but it gives a [ __ ] I'm gonna delete my social I'm sorry baby not funny there you go the tongue sign off the one you're looking at is I'm sorry baby if you want to look at it oh I'm sorry baby our word a guy who's like yeah let's see so you wouldn't do this to your lady Oh friend lady interest little tongue way sing in a dirty song I'd do it to my girl sometimes I'll just look at her and I'll go when she goes don't do that and I and I laugh [ __ ] she gets time that's what I'm saying yeah yeah oh yeah I say oh yeah they check your panties yeah she doesn't so you know she's lying yeah soaking wet check your panties the most useful Chinese class teaching you the most useful okay today I give good head here's how it goes in Chinese okay hold on you're missing the next part okay dude you can also say my parents give good head Oh does this guy think this is funny right this guy thinks this I like it I like my parents I thought it was funny I liked it no you don't do you think it's funny in the reason that he doesn't want you to think it's funny yeah which is why we think it's funny but if you break it down what he's doing I think we're burned out are we done last one these are my favorite showed the [ __ ] root they're play it again please that's great this is my favorite one yeah I just asked oh so vain I've got to work out he's got a [ __ ] what do you call a selfie stay guys just [ __ ] you know what kicking my god I hand it to him he's sexy and then he's gonna show this [ __ ] root yeah really oh yeah go back how did he show here I did it but you can great yeah okay you just kicking my ass that is the best part it's great though because these big spontaneous he's in the Mon yeah yes no script no son to show you the goods and he's like what can I say like he saw himself in the mirror and he was like I look [ __ ] yeah and I just worked out I'll make a video but he didn't think about what he's gonna say so that he's like kicking my he's a great shape yes is this guys are girls the intent well well I think it's for girls but guys like but yes yeah any girl definitely guys that sees that and then goes wow that's interesting he's a [ __ ] loser yeah yeah any girl that would be like goddamn like you've just been inside for so long I mean maybe this pandemic is making it work yeah I think this is for a male audience I'm I just feel like gay guys like to do the humble brag about working out sure yeah I don't know that's what Bert looks like look like I [ __ ] hate the the post-workout brag video it makes me crazy yeah yeah it's fine you know I did a bid on that on man I'm a man afire about how like you're not inspiring and now because I work out I'll post pictures when I'm working out here like you [ __ ] or were you and I'm like dude I'm not doing that yeah you're not doing I'm not saying hey dude do these work you know kill it you know we got this you can make it yeah I don't give a [ __ ] what you do you can do it just push through it yeah yeah just like you're like the fact that guys like this and he's not really doing this but the fact that guys that work out treat it like it's like changing the world that drives me nuts or you know it's just you're not doing anything you're not doing you're just you're working out that's it yeah that's all you did you're not curing cancer that bother to me yeah I don't like it when people that goes back to like it when you think you're acting away and you're acting the other way like what we're talking about earlier my nightmare yeah my head hurts from laughing really weird [ __ ] thing man I think tick tock is the thing that made me realize like I'm older yeah like you know yeah like I'm just like I did a few joke ones as a joke you know you guys did too yeah and like but it's like people are like do more and I'm like I did one or two like and it's so enough it's funny your meter you're good at social media stuff I like I do like doing it but not patek talk it's just it's the thing about crack is it's only funny to me because it's so cringy so yeah if I'm doing that it's funny but it's still cringing right you know I mean you're still doing it like if I'm trying to make it funny because it's cringy I still there's a part of me that looks at it I'm just like oh yeah you know yeah yeah but I like I like a fanbase and I like making people laugh so if I know I can make people laugh on social media I do that what did you say that you had a funny one it was on Instagram where you were like your friend was like I was gonna rain oh dude yeah what'd he say he was saying this is the kind of [ __ ] that this kind of stuff this is so you to me yes it you're right you're right okay so he says he says hey man it's uh it's supposed let me just [ __ ] find it hey man it was was supposed to it's supposed to rain tomorrow oh that's what it was he said it's supposed to be a man it's supposed to rain him it's supposed to rain tomorrow so oh yeah I said oh yeah I say oh that's crazy you know that's it whatever yeah later on we're walking down the street and I said man it's [ __ ] cold and he said I told you I told you I told you that and I said really and he said yeah I told you it's gonna rain tomorrow and I said well that no that's not what you [ __ ] said yeah you didn't say I didn't say that he says gonna rain tomorrow he said well because it's gonna rain tomorrow it's gonna be cold I said you can't use that for [ __ ] saying what you said you only the thing you can't get extra credit right for the mother [ __ ] no that [ __ ] people do that all the time it was implied yes you [ __ ] say I'm a demon flying I'm fine you know what I really [ __ ] hate on social media is when people celebrate non holidays when they're like happy International Women's Day alright yeah happy national cupcakes day not stop trying to make no [ __ ] thing it doesn't exist you don't have a post here here's what happened right there that's it right that's it that's that one yeah that one you can play that's it um if it's better to sound on this yeah well what about what he did yeah woo the group yeah here's what Dan did yesterday this is unbelievable dude my friend Dan did this yesterday in case this goes anywhere but the [ __ ] group text okay dude he looks at me and he goes like this early on in the night he says you know what's gonna rain tomorrow and I say oh cool it's gonna rain tomorrow I'm cool and then later on in the night I'm walking around and I'm like man it got cold today didn't it he said why I said it was gonna get cold I told you that and I said you did and he goes yeah I said when did you say that he says why someone's gonna rain tomorrow and that's unforgivable dude that is forgive it was him saying it's gonna rain tomorrow to the fact that it's gonna get colder and for him to act like he knows [ __ ] when he doesn't know that I agree with Dan's a piece of [ __ ] I agree I agree dude I agree with me and here's all we have or what we say man so if you say some [ __ ] and then you didn't and you act like you're saying the [ __ ] for the other thing I can't trust you dude that's like a guy who gets a [ __ ] truck and then gets the [ __ ] with the flatbed and then gets the thing that goes on the flatbed yeah and and and it covers the flatbed and it's like alright bro I can't trust you right you want the truck or you want the [ __ ] car yeah I can't do this half steppin [ __ ] man hmm I agree with you I knew you oh my god alright so just a reminder to everybody you're gonna know it's gonna be everywhere yeah but go to Netflix you you watch this pogchamp go to Netflix watch no pain and then watch the back catalogue if you haven't yet seen it congratulations man it's very exciting thanks man Congrats I can't wait to see it thank you very funny I love you guys quarantine is really gonna [ __ ] boost yeah I mean people are at home so that's right yeah and it on hopefully they suffer for a little while longer and it's so high so I get the views views and no that's exciting thanks for coming man we love you very much let me go daddy bye guys [Music] it's like equine diarrhea defecate in the open defecate in the open diarrhea obviously the guys [ __ ] Ali it's all guys shut down town anytime you have the urge this [ __ ] you would just drop trou you know public defecation [ __ ] in public drop trou and drop trou and drop trou and yeah it's urban living aah growling drop trou and drop trou drop trou and defecation take two shits this morning defecation [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] it's popping right now it's like diarrhea [ __ ] downtown anytime you have the urge this [ __ ] you would just drop trou you know public defecation [ __ ] in public it's very you miss 100% of the dicks you don't try to stuff in your hole that's blue man that's your next project dude hi thank you for watching that episode of your mom's house I really appreciate it if you want to see more you can click on any of these videos in this general area and also if you haven't subscribed please do it helps feed our cats go out and catch

Channel: YMH Studios

Views: 2,452,266

Keywords: ymh, your mom's house, your moms house, tom segura, christina pazsitzky, christina p, mommies, jeans, up, high and tight, what's with the jeans, denim on denim, podcast

Id: HvueqYO--tc

Length: 174min 4sec (10444 seconds)

Published: Wed Apr 15 2020

Reddit Comments

[u/Lunt]

Of course Daddy would visit the Mommies! I'm listening to the ads in the break before he comes on right now.