YOU DO NOT HAVE A CHOICE BUT TO MOVE ON. Let’s talk for a second.

good evening good evening good evening I know it's a rare occasion that I go live on on YouTube sometimes it's due to the struggling signal and quite honestly I just like making certain that I do it and edit it properly and uploaded but I was just thinking about something that I want to discuss real quickly this is extremely impromptu way out of character for me but I get so many I get so many messages where people are asking me what to do about relationships where a person is abusive where a person is disrespectful dishonorable and they want to know what to do about it you know and when you get through when we get through talking about all of these negative descriptions of this individual the next question usual in the last paragraph of the communication is how do I get over this you know how do I move on and I don't really always have an answer for that I really don't I don't always have an answer for that you know because some people say well the heart wants what the heart wants even if that's poison and I guess I do relate to that because I'm a food at it and sometimes I desire foods that I know are not healthy for my body nor do they have any positive impact on my future but I still want them but at some point when those foods begin to negatively impact my health and the impact of those foods are obvious in my personal well-being I would like to think that some kind of way I will be able to put it together that me and these foods do not coexist any longer their foods now that I love that I can no longer eat at my age my body just rejects it and it's it's really not been a matter of me choosing the food or not choosing the food it's the fact that the food has rejected me and I'm left in a position where I have no choice but to accept that rejection I think that we have a lot of things out of balance I think that we've been conditioned as a people as a race well especially a culture in the United States I'll speak for the United States of America we've been conditioned to develop lives that are way out of balance we we value relationships with other people more than we do personal personal achievement self-actualization we put relationships ahead of our goals in life you know I think we have to ask the question you know why why am I here why was I created why do I exist you know of course relationships are very important they are very important and God did make us for relationship but I believe that there's some other things that we we need to focus on long before we get to the point where we are so consumed or concerned about relationships I think that we we tend to accept ill treatment and abusive treatment even because we have misplaced the value of relationships above ourselves in other words I value having someone on my side in my life more than I do my own person my own self my own soul and that's way out of the the constructs of what God ordained its way out of the you know I just don't I don't I don't relate to having to discover a way to let go of a person that is destroying me I kind of viewed that a kind of view a relationship that has gone so toxic that it is it is destructive and hurtful I kind of view it like if the house I'm in right now if it were to catch on fire I would not have to I wouldn't have to struggle with what to do I mean this is this is my mother's house and this is where I grew up you know from my like my teenage years I kind of grew up in this house so there's a lot of sentimental value here you know there's my father died here you know a lot of sentiment here but it is far this house caught on fire and it's it's a matter of get out or die I'm not gonna struggle with should I get out I'm not gonna struggle with how to get out I'm gettin out by any means necessary if I have to break a door if I have to jump through a window the nearest and quickest exit will be my exit of choice and so at the end of the day when we get through talking about relationships and all of this other stuff that we talk about at a certain point you just have to make a choice and you have to choose you you know you have to choose you I mean I can talk to you you can go to therapists you can go to every relationship coach psychologists you want at the end of the day the only way to get out of a toxic poisonous relationship is to make a choice to get out I mean that that's really what it boils down to we really don't need a half hour of discussion or conversation or whatever we want to call it the end of the day once you are clear in your mind that this does not work for me any longer it is up to you to make the decision to exit that situation nobody can do that for you your parents can't do that for you your friends your siblings nobody can do that for you you have to do that for yourself and at some point you have to choose you because one of the one of the main things that happens in toxic relationships is that you lose you your your so in pursuit of another that you actually you actually lose a grip on yourself and you have to come back to yourself and you have to make yourself the priority and you have to take this person out of this almost position of deity that you've put them in that you almost worship this individual that you're willing you know I know you say well I don't worship them but you're sacrificing yourself I mean you know you're sacrificing yourself in your life to this individual almost as if there's some kind of God in your life and I'm just saying it's time man you know how much time are you gonna waste with this once a person shows you who they are I think it was Maya Angelou who said you got to believe them and I don't care how bad it hurts to let a person go imagine how imagine how bad it will hurt to stay attached to this individual and actually lose or give your entire life to a person that never deserved a conversation with you that's the testa kind of stuff that I think about you know as bad as it may hurt to let this person go how much worse will it hurt to have given your entire life to a person that never even deserved the conversation with you that's the stuff you have to think about and then you know youuuu preoccupy your life with this total toxin that's all this individual is and what is what is also happening simultaneously is that you are locking what I should I say this you are negating the potential of the right person ever stepping into your life because your life is preoccupied with the wrong person once you are clear and you can articulate in writing or in word that this individual has robbed me of this and this individual has hurt me in this individual is broken me your next step has to be what is my exit strategy you cannot you cannot maintain a connection to a person that is doing this kind of damage to you and the only reason we feel so desperately tired or in need of another person is because we have not really located or identified our own personal purpose Lisa and I were talking the other night well not the other night it's been a while ago but we were talking one night about what would happen if you know if I died or if she died prematurely what would happen and I said to her that you know I really don't know if I would be in pursuit of any kind of romantic interest if something happened to my wife because my life is really so preoccupied with purpose and what I do and why I'm here that it just would not be of course I'm 54 years old so you know some of you a lot of you most of you probably are much younger than that and you may not relate to this position that I'm in but my life is so consumed with purpose that I can't honestly tell you that I would even have interest in that and the reality is that you don't have to you don't have to wait until you're halfway through with your life as I am to come to that point where your life is balanced with you know purpose you know for me it's it's God purpose you know relationships God purpose relationships well you know God purpose really and the reason purpose comes after God is because if I don't know my purpose I really don't know what relationships I need to develop and if I don't know my purpose the relationships that will develop in my life they are never going to be privy to how they can help me in all relationships in my opinion are designed to aid each other but if I don't know my purpose and my purpose only comes from God I don't know who belongs in my life and once they show up in my life they don't know how to help me because I don't know why I'm here but when the world takes in twists my mind through media through entertainment through literature makes me believe that it has to be it needs to be relationships some of us are constructed like this you know it's relationships materialism and then whatever else we decide to put behind that and then we wonder why suicide rates are increasing it's because we are we are people that lack join we lack joy because we lack balance we lack balance because we lack purpose the day you wake up and you put a man or a woman ahead of god in purpose how can I mean how can that end well how can that end well especially when you take a man or woman that is is destructive or deceptive or person that desecrates your honor how can that end well so Matt you know my instruction to you is that you you probably need to feel this pain and let this individual go just experience it you know go through the pain the hurt of letting someone go that you may think you love let them go and learn how to be an individual learn how to live as an individual learn how to nurture your relationship with God find inner peace find inner happiness you think that the relationship is going to make you happy there is no such relationship there's no relationship that can or will make you happy I'm here to tell you if you do not find your happiness within yourself you will never find it and and in a lot of instances you are dear deteriorating good relationships or potentially good relationships because you have a god-like expectation of people that they will do for you the things that only God and you can do for you there are some things that only God and an RC blake's Jr can do for me Lisa can't do for me my children can't do for me my children can't make me happy I can't make my children happy I can assist them in their happiness I can assist them in my in their and as they can assist me in mind happiness but I have to ultimately be the source God has to be the source and I have to tap into that source for myself relative to happiness and holding on to a person that has already proven to be poisonous for me is not is not it's not a sustainable model and you can't pray for God to kick this person out of your life that's something you have to do you have to have that conversation and you have to make that decision you have to do that you have to do that seriously you have to do that and if if if you have not gotten to the point in life where you have learned how to if you've not learned how to let people go let people walk out of your life without breaking down you are a shell of what God actually intended you to be because life is filled with people coming in and out in and out you have to get to a place where people exiting your life is not so catastrophic that it destroys you and you have to get to a point in life where you're so in love with your purpose for being here and the God who created you that you're good with saying to a person you don't fit into my future you cannot you cannot destroy me in my present and I have in the back of my mind or at the front of my mind that you're supposed to go into my future the moment I sense that you are a source of destruction for me I have to let you go no matter how bad it hurts that's life life is pain there's no life without pain a woman does not give birth to a child without pain unless she has that epidural life is pain growth is pain physical growth is paying emotional growth is paying spiritual growth is pain everybody says well you know I was I was trying to figure out and I'm done I just came on hit a rat everybody's trying to figure out what is your you know in specially in terms of this platform YouTube what is your what they ask what is your niche or your genera and I was looking through the things they're trying to figure out what is what is my John Romani my niches some of you might say niche of of you might say and I couldn't find it you know I found nothing relative to inspiration nothing relative to to what I do and and then it hit me then it dawned on me that you know my niche is really paying that's it I communicate I communicate from my pain I communicate from all of the pain that I've experienced in life and some of the communication that I do is is in reference to the pain that I've caused others but in through all of that pain I learned and there's something that you're going to learn from this pain as you make the decision to release see you're thinking you're holding on to somebody but they've never latched on to you you're holding on to a fantasy really it's an it's not even a dream it's a nightmare you gotta let this go you gotta move forward with your life so I just came on here to say that um hey man and just know that that I'm praying for you just know that I'm praying for you really sincerely I'm praying for you and I know all of you are not Christians that subscribe to my channel and I appreciate that I really do but I'm praying for you nonetheless that Spirit of God would just really empower you to make the choices that will benefit your future because what you're doing now is not working you got to know that what you're doing now is not working and you don't need to move out of one relationship into another you need to you need to let this go and you need to you need to pause for a minute and you need to ask yourself the serious questions relative to why am i why am I in this position why did I go through you should learn from Peyman you don't learn from pain your sad case pain should always teach you something and you need to take a moment before you rush into something else and you need to seriously learn the lessons that you need needed to learn from this relational failure because if you rush into something else more than likely you're going to make a lateral move and you're going to just move from one bad situation to another bad situation but if you take a moment to feel the pain to learn the lessons it means that you can move so a man if first time watching me and if you're not subscribed if this is your kind of thing here love to have you be a part of my family really would you can reach out to me or my wife Lee said pastor ROC Blake's at gmail.com that's the email address that she and I both share in my website is our she blinks calm thank you guys for tuning in I could not reach your comments clearly because they're just kind of moving really fast my mom said I have to watch your channel wow yeah that's awesome that's awesome that's awesome that is extremely awesome well I love you guys and I want you to have a great night I don't know how to cut this off I do like alive so seldom on YouTube but alright I'm trying to reach our stuff I'm a Janeiro and I get off I love you guys I want you to have a great one and know that somebody's praying for you all right god bless you until next time you

Channel: RC Blakes, Jr

Views: 90,365

Rating: 4.9513721 out of 5

Keywords: RC BLAKES

Id: 8orTuMGL3VI

Length: 21min 37sec (1297 seconds)

Published: Mon Jul 16 2018