Wkrp In Cincinnati 314 Ask Jennifer

oh hi herb hi you uh wanted to see me uh yes we did is this a meeting yes uh an important one am i in any trouble no wow what's this meeting about this meeting is about a very good idea that you've had herb that i had that's right well hell let's let's get on with it i'm not a guy who likes to waste a lot of time well herbert andy here tells me that these dear abby talk type shows are really popular yeah yeah the advice show oh yes indeed big guy these things are sweeping the country not 20 minutes ago i was talking to crazy chuck kaminsky over big 3k radio in st louis he told me that they put on one of these dear abby sort of things about a month ago they got 75 calls the first day 200 and about a week then they won their 2 to 3 p.m time slot i mean one outright just like that for the first time in 20 years they did they did they did that's a miserable time slot for us too now i think we can take this hour easily with a show like this i like it here but i want to do it hold on just a second now wait a minute something like that's got to be cleared through me first but big guy this it's okay it's cleared good now here's what i want to do if we come in mr carlson why not a full one hour of news not now less yes sir ah here's what i want to do i want to find someone like a dear abby and anne landers now this person does not have to be a psychiatrist or anything just someone with good old common sense all right am i thinking exactly who have you gotten mine i don't know yet but i'm going to find someone nah excuse him why travinsky look that was my idea i should find him oh no herb don't you want this idea to work what is that supposed to mean well uh i think what andy's trying to say herb is that if you get your incompetent hands on this project you'll totally destroy what would otherwise be a darn good idea oh is that true yeah good then i'll find the perfect toast you're gonna love him and i'll have this show on the air by the end of the week herbert jr has spoken baby if you've ever wondered whatever i'm living became the air in cincinnati cincinnati wkrp got kind of tired of packing and unpacking town to town up and down the dial baby you and me were never meant to be just maybe think of me once in a while i'm a wkrp and cincinnati and uh let's see um i did a little family counseling and uh i was employed by the city for a while now that was real interesting uh what got you interested in doing a show like this uh herb did we're cousins uh first or second cousins okay fine and i used to be a dancer so i've always been interested in show business and herb says i got a real good way with people well you do the guy has all the credentials i mean look at this letter i haven't met the man but i've got to hunt you're going to love him mr van hausen yeah good morning gentlemen i bet you've made housing don't you see i should do the show huh huh [Music] well i worked very briefly in radio before and i had an advice column for a time but i gave it up to write my book ubu and i'll be me oh you wrote a book yes and it did quite well too gee that's good well i must admit you're extremely well qualified and you have a very lovely voice thank you i say yes me too good well let's get going i'm not the kind of guy who likes to waste a lot of time come on come on well i'm gonna slip on home slide into bed and sleep the day off want to come change your mind give me a call aren't you gonna stick around for ask arlene i think i'm just gonna check her out on the air and see what i think you know sounds like you've already made up your mind i'll tell you something jennifer i am against anything that puts a dj out of work and this woman is taking dean the dream slot dean was leaving anyway and to what that is my point what is dean leaving to he's going to law school that could come in handy i might need a lawyer someday bye excuse me where is she who arlene she in there with the big guy what time is it no 2 30. why don't you ever knock why i'm sorry big guy but i can't find arlene and she's on she's on the air and a half hour well look just don't don't panic i'll get a hold of travis i mean this is her first show i thought i'd pick her up and get her here in plenty of time well just just calm down travis get in my office immediately this mr carlos ah don't suppose she drove over here by herself dude no i told her i'll pick you up at two on the dot she said yeah gee what's that huh what oh that that that stuff okay a man in my position herb doesn't play with trains yes sir i'm not a child i'm a hobbyist yes come in arlene is here about time ah sure mr carlson herb i'm terribly sorry no problemo arlene just a minor little mix-up you know i'm just very glad you're here uh please sit down thank you oh is that an electric train yes no well i mean he he's not a child he's uh what are you i'm a hobbyist what what what is it uh well uh uh arlene's here what you know i just you know thought you'd like to know oh oh olly you ready to go on oh yes i've been preparing all morning good everything's in the go mode advertisements in this morning's paper air promos intro tests oh and it wasn't easy to concentrate either i got a call this morning from eddie who eddie he and i were separated this past christmas oh i'm sorry oh it's all right now it's old business but uh still it does hurt sometimes you see i thought that this was gonna be the marriage that finally worked could i have a glass of water surely so uh you were married before then huh oh yes four times but i really don't count the first when we were only married for two days here you go thank you i hardly knew him i only did it to get revenge on barry who had lied to me uh just an aspirin we never had sex in my first marriage oh god oh i am still very careful about that i mean you can hardly have a relationship with a man today that sex doesn't get in the way you know what i mean mr carlson oh yeah uh arlene why don't you just uh relax and in a second we'll go into the booth all right thank you you know eddie had severe problems with my success he had all the usual male uh uh what do you call it attitudes the usual male attitudes to a marriage eddie would be in charge eddie would dominate eddie would make the decisions even when he started doing the dishes and making the bed i knew where he was really coming from i mean i knew where he was at man oh my goodness maybe ed was attempting to communicate oh don't give me that bull sorry communicate give me a break just crossing what what time you got there sir it's just just about air time oh good i hope that he's listening cause i think he's gonna know when i'm really talking about him marlene i wouldn't get too personal now i'll be you you'll be me what it's your book oh that piece of trash are you coming are you kidding and blow the whole country oil feels and all right off the map but of course that's just a personal observation this is les nessman saying good day and may the good news be yours [Music] arlene you look a little sleepy ah she just took an aspirin come on let's get out from there oh yeah arlene you sit right down here what kind of an aspirin i don't know a big uh pink and blue thing arlene you all right of course i am of course she is how many did she take well i only saw her take one who's that i'm les nessman i read your book didn't help me any all right arlie now here are the phones you remember the phones of course i am good all right here we go void we're prohibited and now it's time for ask arlene a bold new venture in cincinnati radio listening where you the listener call in to ask arlene poignant personal questions and receive and return poignant personal expert advice from an expert expert expert expert and now here's arlene good afternoon everyone this is arlene welcome to my show and feel free to ask me anything our number here is 555 wkrp and i'd like to see those phones light up as soon as possible jennifer it was great you were absolutely wonderful well thank you andy could i have a cup of coffee but i have never talked so much in my whole life oh that advice you gave it was perfect just common sense how do you know all that i don't know i read psychology today field and stream and here you go star thank you hey i heard the last 30 minutes of your show it was great you were wonderful wonderful i'm so excited how's arlene oh she's okay fine i took her to emergency ward and it was nothing but a you know a case of nerves and about three valium eddie came and picked her up will she be able to be back tomorrow well i really don't know we better find out what for we've got you now wait a minute jennifer yes sir there's a pushy salesman sitting in the lobby waiting to see me i was wondering if you could uh make him go away well hold it wade uh sir didn't you listen to ask arlene no well jennifer did the show she was great i did okay i'll handle a salesman what's he look like you good dracula meets frankenstein oh i venus did you uh listen to uh the show did i hear her i'd recognize that sexy voice anywhere you were great jennifer you know i listened to you for just 10 minutes and already i've decided to go back to school lose 50 pounds and get a sex change operation just how personal do these questions get oh very personal mr carlson oh no oh don't worry mr carlson i assure you i'll be back at my desk tomorrow jennifer andy i'm not going to do it why not because it goes against my basic philosophy of do your job but don't do too much of it well look it would be much more exciting than being stuck in the lobby all day i like it out there we hardly get any calls mr carlson won't accept visitors it's quiet i can read study a foreign language occasionally answer a question or two see that's it everybody always comes to you for advice so i say uh share your wisdom with the rest of the world oh come on jennifer do i ever ask you for anything no i don't look i just need you to do this for a while just for a while until her can find somebody else that that shouldn't take too long should it miss crosstalk for her to find somebody else no just uh you know matter of days weeks days so come on what do you say just this once i say no yes you're on the air marlene what's the meaning of life the cereal or the magazine huh we could take out iraq too then later apologize and say it was a typographical error but of course that's just a personal observation this is les nessman saying good day and may the good news be yours and now stay tuned for ask arlene what to do about foot odor how's the mad bomber today good thank you hi jennifer hi ness oh thank you jennifer i was wondering if i could ask your advice about something all righty why don't you call her on the phone like everybody else does this is personal what is it less johnny yeah cover your ears it has to do with one coming to grips with one's own nudity [Music] perhaps we could discuss this at a later date you promise arlene promises thank you thank you john sure les and good luck with that problem uh i tell you i feel so much closer to you now jennifer i mean now that we're colleagues we're both broadcast personalities announcers we had a tour together you know what would we tour army bases uh little overnight stays wait a minute something is wrong what something is missing here sorry arlene i'm running a little late today hello this is arlene you're on arlene i got a problem but i don't want to use my real name well that's okay so just call me joan okay uh what's your problem joan who well you are joan aren't you no i'm not anyway arlene what do you do with a husband who's always running around with other women have your lawyer chat with him oh okay hi this is arlene you're on arlene this is betty i've been engaged to a man three months and i just found out he has a wooden leg should i break it off oh i don't think so hello you're on arlene i don't have a question for you i just want to say i thank god for you well that's very nice but not necessary hello hey arlene this is joe how's a guy get rid of really problem dandruff i wouldn't know her it's joe well joe we have to go to a commercial now surely i'd love to hear one say how does a guy get rid of really problem dandruff hello hello arlene this isn't joan again oh hi you told me to get a lawyer to chat with my goomba husband who's been fooling around with every other woman in cincinnati i remember well i've taken your advice but i don't know how to tell bob i'm leaving of course bob isn't his real name either well joan i'd tell him as soon as possible i'd look him right straight in the eyes and say bob you're out and that's the way it is february 8 1981 oh hi earl i just want to tell you that my wife and i are getting along great since i talked to you thank you well good and she stopped carrying the pistol oh that's great earl hello arlene yes everybody in my office says i'm difficult to get along with because i can never admit i'm wrong what do you think maybe they're right what do you know you said a couple of days it's been 64 of them 64 does not a couple make yeah but you're doing so well how long does it take herb to find somebody he's giving it everything he's got that's what i was afraid of andy i don't want to be the advice lady for the rest of my life look how about just for the next uh ten years how about just for the next ten minutes ten days five days two days five deal i don't know what you're worried about you're making a lot of new friends that's what i'm worried about coming out [Music] hello you're on i just want to say that i don't make a move without you oh please don't do that live your own life and remember i'm not a psychologist or a psychiatrist i'm just the advice lady yes arlene do you think i'm fat you look okay to me arlene this is arlene oh hello arlene this is arlene arley i just want you to know that eddie and i are back together again oh that's great arlene bye arlene bye arlene hello this is arlene arlene hello uh this isn't joan again oh hello remember you told me to tell bob i was leaving him i did well i told him last night and he hit me i can't hear you he beat me up arlene and i don't know what to do arlene don't worry about it herb's gonna find somebody today he's only been on the case for 194 days hello wkrp mr carlson oh he's not in guy's never in we probably should just forget the whole thing i just wish jennifer was back here oh i just i just don't like sharing jennifer with other people hello i'm wkrp travis no he's not here a lot of guy's never here you know it was all herb's idea no it wasn't it was mine gentlemen arlene has just resigned johnny's filling in why not wait a minute jennifer you promised me with bailey's help i just got a caller in touch with a center for battered women well that that's good except she probably wouldn't have gotten battered were it not for my cute flip off-the-cuff advice oh well now wait a minute jennifer you can't take responsibility for something like that why not well because we talked you into this i mean you don't understand andy i kind of liked it i enjoyed it do you think i would have done that day after day if i hadn't does that sound like me so now i'm going to take my little seat right out here in the lobby and keep my big mouth shut oh no jennifer uh don't don't do that why not because you can't just shut yourself off why not because i need you i don't want people to need me oh yes you do you want me to need you and i'll tell you something else young lady if you hadn't been on that phone that woman probably wouldn't have gotten the help that she needed from you and then bailey and do you really think that a radio show has anything at all to do with a man who batters women would you gentlemen please excuse me because i think i'm going to cry now and i don't want anybody to see me do that sure yeah of course jennifer would you come in here please mr carlson look i i need you what's wrong my train's broken [Applause] no no no uh patricia you're wrong well i just don't know what i'm gonna do about it right right uh wait wait a second uh would would you just listen to me please oh all right all right okay cause you don't wanna look like a fool right no okay so now listen very carefully because uh i'm not always gonna be here to uh help you okay you always wanna start on these things from the outside and that'll lead you just naturally organically into those inner areas and that's where all the real action is you dig now what's furthest out is the salad fork and the soup spoon okay what's right it's uh on on the right the big fort is on the inside left and the dessert spoon is above above above what why did it happen all right a pat pat pat patricia i tell you what uh put the napkin over your head and eat with your hands okay [Music] [Applause] [Music] you

Channel: Classic-TV Net

Views: 57,906

Rating: 4.8714857 out of 5

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Id: v8FOUDNbyUQ

Length: 24min 57sec (1497 seconds)

Published: Mon May 03 2021