WKRP in Cincinnati S03E21 Clean Up Radio Everywhere

mr carlson yes there's someone here to see you not today oh he's been here quite a while well no one should have to wait send him away he's written you two letters i don't read my mail he seems rather nice we're all nice jennifer i would like you to see him okay she had never stopped dr halyars this is mr carlson thank you mr carlson ah doctor is it yes thank you for seeing me i know how busy it must be oh gosh yeah it just never stops here uh let me uh pull out the chair for you oh uh that's all right i'll just sit over here oh fine fine well what is it that i can do for you doctor well i hope you've had a chance to read my letters oh yes yes yes uh medical things medical stuff uh oh no no i'm a doctor of divinity a preacher really oh of course yeah only the medical people were in here yesterday well if you read my letters perhaps you know that i am the head of the tri-faith broadcasting advisory committee here in cincinnati oh yeah that uh tri-faith broadcasting thing there yeah well in that case you may have heard that we have formed a media task force called curb c-u-r-b curb it stands for clean up radio broadcasting clean up radio broadcast yes and you're the very first station we're contacting in the cincinnati area that's great what's that my heart i think baby if you've ever wondered i've wondered whatever became of me i'm living on the air in cincinnati cincinnati wkrp got kind of packing and unpacking from town to town up and down the dial maybe you and me were never meant to be just maybe think of me once in a while i'm at wkrp and cincinnati mr carlson what we at kerr would like to do is to work with your station by helping you in any way that we can in bringing wholesome life-affirming programming to what are in fact the public airwaves yes well we we'll take all the help we can get i mean you know we're just a little bitty station oh i wouldn't say that why two of you are dj's a dr fever and uh a mr flytrap i believe have a very strong following say you seem to know quite a little bit about our station i sure do we've asked our membership 3 000 christians in cincinnati alone to monitor your broadcasts [Music] uh do you mind if i uh bring up something that we've noticed about your station not at all no well here's a list of uh records that have played on your station recently now all of them contain sexually suggestive if not obscene lyrics really well you can see for yourself uh the offensive words are typed off on the side here oh my uh i i didn't know uh oh good of course you see i don't listen to the station i'm going to tell the truth you know i uh really uh-huh i don't care for rock and roll too much neither do i yes sir uh i'd appreciate it if you call me bob okay bob i'm i'm aren't they well arthur what do you think about this i think this is bad def frankly i'm i'm i'm shocked i i i should talk to my employees about this do you think you can uh get them to stop playing these records you mean just stop them all together yes oh well uh i [Music] i suppose i should praise the lord what i said praise the lord oh i think i've found myself another christian here today oh yes yeah yes i i am well i mean i i try to be of course sometimes i don't do quite as well as i should but fortunately blessed are those who are weak in spirit and blessed are those who are righteous in his name oh oh yeah yeah righteous and we you sure sure came to the right guy so remember when you're looking for the live bait fish love most look for red wigglers i've seen it would you shut that thing off bro oh yeah sure so mr carlson uh be on mine well i'm just gonna ask you fellas not to play those songs anymore yeah well you realize of course that some of these songs are the biggest hits of the year and some of them are rock and roll classics i know that but i still say these lyrics are dirty no offense ac but beauty is in the eye of the beholder well this eye has beheld this and i don't see anything there that's beautiful ah half the time you can't even hear the lyrics well these people these curb monitors they figured out the lyrics they sure did why i can see him now huddled there in the corner of the church late at night just playing every record slower and slower and suddenly there's a naughty word this means that you're not going to cooperate with me on this huh no it means i'm not gonna cooperate with curb on this venus well mr carlson i think about the lyrics sometimes oh come on man oh man you've seen that list i mean they don't even have the choice ones they're a lot more worse than that may i say something here sure all my life i have seen these kind of people at work my aunt and uncle were like this and i'm here to tell you i have never seen a group of people who were so sure they were right about everything and so sure everybody else was wrong yeah listen dr bob hollier isn't like that yeah well maybe but that man did not come in here and say we don't like this music so we're not going to listen to your station anymore what he said was we don't like this music we don't want other people to listen to it anymore huh there's a difference there i call that censorship i knew somebody was going to use that word what else would you call it this is a portion of the public expressing themselves what are we supposed to do ignore it we already censor ourselves well we can't be doing a good job because we're playing those records i thought these people were going after tv why don't they go after tv and leave us alone probably because they want to practice on a couple of guppies before they go after the whale what are you gonna do about the list i'm just going to ask you fellas not to play those songs anymore just like that yeah i guess so just like that thanks fellas mr carlson yeah uh what happens if we play some other song these people decide they don't like well i don't know i do we'll get a new list and after that another one and after that and another one and after that another one jennifer some of the employees have stopped speaking to me normally that'd be playing right into my hands the past few days i perceived a sense of disapproval if not outright loathing what'd you tell him to knock it off oh mr carlson i'm sorry it's all my fault i never should have let dr bob halyars in here what was i supposed to do say no i mean he had us dead to rights i find some of those records offensive myself i think there's a larger question here what's that i think maybe this has something to do with it it's another letter from curb as predicted yeah what does that say let's see ah it's a letter of commendation yeah you're curb's broadcasting executive of the month really oh and here's another list of records curb's top 40 hit list i suppose that's a play on words yeah but what about all the sex on tv huh what sex i mean every night i go home and just sit there waiting on it i'll ever see her car crashes i was visiting my sister over the holidays she's got two little girls five and nine i saw them sitting in front of a television set at eight o'clock watching adults argue about abortion now is that right well they talk about the same subject on the six o'clock news besides i think kids are a lot smarter than we give them credit for no they're not when i was a kid i didn't know anything i know you're all probably wondering what i think about this curve business it's been driving us crazy last yes well in a situation like this i always ask myself what would my hero edward r murrow think and i think that ed would think that this was censorship then i think about what my other hero general george patton would think and i think that george would think that radio and television ought to be cleaned up but if he were alive today he'd take two armored cavalry divisions into hollywood and knock all those liberal pinheads into the pacific so as you can see i'm a very confused man and when i get confused i watch tv television is never confusing it's all so simple somehow andy i guess you guys were right here's another curb list well there must be some mistake here there's songs on this list that we haven't even played yet yeah i know it's kind of a list in general no it's kind of censorship before the fact i guess you can say that well this is where we get off dr bob's train come on we've got to we cannot let him program this station how can we no that's good why don't you let me go talk with him no no i'll go talk with him still the station manager knock those liberal pinheads in the river mr carlson wrong hero less oh hello arthur how are you i'm fine bob have a seat thank you i uh well got your new list as long as i keep making records like that we have to keep coming up with new lists uh i i have something i'd i'd like to say uh you know as a private businessman i feel a little foolish taking orders from a religious group to me it seems well un-american somehow i understand that arthur you do well sure i do but i think this is really democracy in action now the people i represent deserve the right to speak out don't they oh yeah sure well i don't think that you know one small group of people should have so much power that they can dictate what's on radio or television but a small group of people already dictates what gets on the airwaves well you and your program director decide what records to play that's just two men and on the television network's author a group of people i can count on my fingers decide what type of shows get on the air and that's for the whole country is that right i agree with you i don't think that a small group should decide for everybody and that's what we're fighting here well i see what you're saying but uh that's a confusing question it's really very simple arthur now if somebody has the right to make a picture let's say about some unspeakable bloody horror which they do make and just to make money then i should have the right to say i don't like that kind of movie and if they have the right to put that movie in my local theater i should have the right to try and get it out of my local theater how you gonna do that well very reluctantly we would uh use the one tool that seems to get any action economic boycott oh well what would you do to us if we played some of the songs on that list well we'd have no choice but to go to your advertisers but arthur why play any of those records they're all obscene uh about one of my disc jockeys uh dr johnny fever gave me the lyrics to a song he wants to know if you'd let him play that song on the air imagine there's no heaven it's easy if you try no hell below us above us only sky nothing to kill or die for and no religion too imagine no possessions imagine all the people sharing all the world that sounds like communism to me if there's no heaven no religion and i assume no god there's not an obscene word in here not the way i see it let's go on your list arthur this is typical of the kind of secular liberal humanist point of view that gluts our airwaves yeah but we're not talking obscenities here anymore bob we're talking about ideas political of the philosophical ideas first you censor a word and then you censor the ideas but the idea is man-centered not god-centered man is an animal the bible tells us to put our alliance in god not in our fellow mortals arthur this song says there's no heaven ah no it says just imagine there's no helmet that's blasphemy on the list or not i have no choice but to say on that decision was made by one man but arthur if you could only see ah bob i'm sorry but so long all right and what do we replace it with well where the commercial was drop in the american heart association spot oh but then we'd be coming out of a lung association spot and going directly into a heart association spot oh well maybe we could separate them with a forest fire okay hey guy crispy treat pizzeria just canceled everything didn't you go down and talk to him personally for an hour and on my knees and i got to say it's not the cleanest place in the world down there either i mean i'm really scared big guy i mean we're losing everything well what reasons did they give you said there was no reasons but you know better than that mr carlson harvey green is here to see you harvey we'll send him in wait you're not gonna see him don't don't be cause he'll just cancel his business bailey excuse me please oh sure hello mr green hello miss bailey how's the worm business the same always the same well good well uh how you doing harvey how's everything down there red wiggler can't talk now unless you're saying everything's fine if it's that slow how are you harvey author a minister came to see me dr bob hollyer huh yeah yeah how did you get in trouble with a fella like that no that's a long story he says you're not doing right arthur he says you play songs that are bad for the kids i know i know of course that's what they used to say about the music when when we were kids remember the jitterbug remember the jitterbug was what's going to turn us all into drug fiends yeah i remember yeah but i thought this fella came with a couple of other ministers they said they represented thousands of people and every one of those people would tell other people not to buy my red wigglers and so on and so forth you see arthur i'm trying to sell the business my sons don't want to come in they don't think worms are interesting enough they want to pursue careers in modern dance part of them how's that for luck harvey how about a cup of coffee no no no thanks zod i thought i'm sorry but i don't think i can stand a boycott of my product right now i understand i mean with the way the economy is and everything i i can't even get a loan and a lot of religious people fish oh my god my no and there's no sense in all of us going down the drain you uh you lost a lot of a lot of business out there no i'm doing all right you know uh you know what i think but i think you made a wise business decision you know people who listen to rock and roll they don't they don't buy a lot of worms you know arthur maybe it's god's way of of trying to tell us something you told me told me once you didn't like the radio business too much and i'm certainly getting tired of the worm business so why don't we let dr what's his name dr bob go ahead and put us out of business and the two of us can move to florida and starve to death thanks a lot harvey you don't mind if i think about that do you give it some thought everybody's doing it yeah i know arthur i'm sorry i feel like a coward and i am ashamed well don't be oh oh hello mr travis how you doing harvey uh goodbye mr travis arthur forgive me red wigglers too yeah red wigglers too all right here's what we're gonna do we're gonna get every radio station in cincinnati together and we're gonna fight this guy now we either hang together or we're gonna hang separately we're gonna go to the press we're gonna go to our listeners the people who really support us not a bunch of religious nuts andy they are not nuts what did we do did we build up this business so i can get cut down just like that is that what all that hard work was for what are you doing playing computer baseball why because andy recently this is one of the few joys i've had in life mr carlson huh would you want to see dr bob halliers he's got his nerve and coming here you tell him to go to hell andy now that man is a man of god and i'm not going to have you talking like this sentiment john you like this guy thank you hello author bob andy this is dr hollyer hi and he's my program director yeah that's right i'm the program director my job is to a program the music i think our listeners would like to hear if i'm wrong our ratings go down and i get fired it's called the free enterprise system and it works pretty well well some people don't like the records you program they fight back it's called a democracy and it works pretty well it's called censorship and you could call it a rose if you like but it still stinks andy please arthur uh i'm truly sorry that we ended up on opposite sides of this well thank you bob but you know aside from stirring a whole lot of people up and making an old man feel like a coward i'll be darned if i can figure out anything else that's been accomplished by all this well a lot could be accomplished arthur you'd come on over to god's side i'm not sure that giving up my freedom of decision is god's side well that's a matter of opinion yeah and i i don't want to argue the point any further but i would like to uh express one other thought that occurs to me surely bob watch out for those broadcasters that cave into your pressure because principle's not going to mean a darn thing to them all they're going to be doing is saving their swimming pools oh they'll be the first ones to come and sit at your table but i think the good ones are going to be the ones that are willing to take a loss and put up a fight well then i'll i'll have to learn to love my enemies arthur like the good book says i hope so because i don't think you're gonna be able to trust your friends goodbye arthur i suppose in the meantime you're going to lose money for a principal hey travis when it comes to losing advertising clients these bozos don't know who they're up against i'm gonna fight him tooth and nail i know you are have all else fails i might even set a less investment on him boy that could signal the end of organized religion as we know it [Music] hey [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] you

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Length: 24min 57sec (1497 seconds)

Published: Fri Mar 26 2021