Where's Bae? | Dr. Dharius Daniels

I want to read one scripture and found in the Book of Ruth chapter number five it reads like this Ruth to the roof chapter two I'm sorry verse five Boaz acts the overseers of his harvesters who does that young woman belong to I want to talk from this subject who is that I won't talk from this subject and it's a question the question is where's BAE where's where's BAE family I want to adequately assert that besides making a decision to follow the person the principles and the practices of Jesus who a person chooses as a life partner is one of the most consequential decisions they will ever make I use the word life partner strategically and intentionally because when we're talking about subjects such as marriage concepts such as soul mates it's important to know and to note you aren't just kidding a person you are getting a partner someone say partner you are ladies and gentlemen getting someone who is doing more than providing you with company they are contributing to the course and the quality of one's life and it's important to reframe relationships this way because how you behold a thing determines how you behave in it how you see it determines how you treat it and if you see relationships as casual inconsequential company keepers then you will treat them that way but if you see relationships as it's excuse me long-term relationships as people you're choosing to be a life partner then you'll treat it differently someone that you might trust to bake you a cake is not the same person you trust to perform open-heart surgery they are not the same can I hear good amen there when we say I do we're saying more than I do to a boo we're saying much more than I do to what we may assume we're saying I do too when we say I do we're saying I do choose to buy property with you I do choose to do finances with you I do choose to raise children with you I do choose to be a roommate with you I do choose to wake up and to look at you every morning until I die let's not make a sense we're saying I do when it comes to strengths we're saying I do when it comes to weaknesses we're saying I do in the sense that I put my welfare in the hands of your decisions because when I make decisions as a person who's single my decisions primarily affect me but when I make decisions and I am in a relationship my decisions no longer affect me they affect the person I'm partnering with what we do with our money affects them what we do with our job affects them the hours we work affects them the time we leave home the time we get home it affects them the energy we exert while we're on the job determines the energy we have left when we get home it affects them am I making sense what they do with their time affects you what they do with their resources affects you what they do with their body affects you what they do what their body can put your life in jeopardy so when you say I do we're saying more than I do to somebody who's cute I want to say I do to somebody that I want to partner with in building the life Dass called me to live can I hear an Amen right there therefore because relationships are so consequential we shouldn't treat them casually and this is an area this is an area where we really want to make wise decisions and not just emotional ones this is why like I talked last year in the series before you do and after you did the dating process is so important because dating is the context where people get data and that am I making sense and the data is important because you can't make a good decision with bad information and the dating gives the data that we need so that the decisions we make are informed decisions not just the emotional ones and I know culture says follow your heart that sounds good on a meme it looks good on a graphic but it does not always translate well in practice because the Bible says in Jeremiah 17:9 that the heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure our heart will feel strong about something and someone that's wrong I said our heart will feel strong about someone and something that is wrong we can fall in love with someone who feels good to us but is not good for us and anyone maybe this is for the twelve O'Clock but I'll throw it out at this service just in case and anyone who has an ex that you look back at and you scratch your head about should be saying Amen right here because right because we can feel strong about someone that is wrong for us making sense so we need to be informed and this is why we want to allow God who came up with the idea of relationships to guide us in this area and we won't and for those of us who will be guiding others we want God to guide us in guiding others in making those decisions some of the most important advice you will ever give to people you love the most is relationship advice because nothing affects their life like relationships did you know what I just said some of the most important advice you will ever give your friends your children your mentees whoever you have influence with in your life some of the most consequential and important advice you ever give will be in the area of relationships makes sense and so God's Word gives us guidance on this and there's an incredible story in the Bible about this woman named Ruth that I believe also offers some insight for us today this book of the Bible is called Ruth because it's named after a woman named Ruth we see her mention in the Old Testament she's also mentioned in the New Testament in the book of Matthew she is mentioned and she is listed in the genealogy of Jesus I think this is important because it teaches us that our picks affect our purpose and so Ruth story opens interesting interestingly the Book of Ruth opens is interesting here it opens it says there's a man named Emelec who marries a woman named Naomi Emelec Naomi you'll see that they have two children they're two boys Kilian and Milan when I saw their I said somebody black and they family the name somebody in there black and I saw killing on in Milan and so Emma Emma lek and Naomi kilee on him Allah but Emelec Anil may have two children Killian and Milan this is what happens in millech unfortunately passes away so naomi has lost a husband but what happens is her two sons get married Killian marries a woman named Orpha Milan marries a woman named Ruth so at least now even though she has lost her husband she's got a son and a daughter-in-law and a son and a daughter in law over the course of 10 years you know what happens both of her sons died so there's probably some genetic abnormality there they didn't have the medical technology to that to diagnose and predict that but over the course of ten years both of her sons died so what she does is she says listen I'm by myself I'm going to go back to the town I came from when I got married I moved to a place called Judah I'm from a place called Bethlehem so now that something has died in Judah I'm gonna go back to Bethlehem because things can't live forever if the only place you stay is Judah at some point you have to go to Bethlehem because every name in the Bible means something and the name Judah means praise death is a prefix that means house so Brett Bethlehem is House of bread so if some stuff is going to live we have to do more than stay in Judah we also have to go to Bethlehem we need more than praise we need bread we need more than Sunday we need groups we need more than experience in we need circles so Naomi says I'm going back to Bethlehem and watch what happens she tends to her two daughter-in-laws now listen you need to go back I love you but you need to go back to your families where you come from and Ruth and Orpah are hesitant and Naomi insist she says you really need to go back to the families that you come from so Orpah says okay she goes back but in route chapter 1 verse 16 Ruth says don't urge me to leave you or to turn back from you where you go I'll go where you stay I'll stay your people will be my people your God will be my god where you die I'll die and there I'll be buried may the Lord deal with me be it ever so severely if even death separates you and me and when they only realize that Ruth was determined to go with her she stopped urging her to leave this is interesting right because I want you to see something I want you to see something in Russia after one verse 13 that Naomi say it before Ruth said this she said listen no my daughters it is more bitter for me than for you because the Lord has turned his hand against me so naomi has experienced consistent tragic loss that is unbearable pain and until pain is properly healed a person's going to deal with the degree of bitterness she says the Lord has dealt bitterly with me listen to this are y'all follow me so Ruth was close to bitterness and was a round bitterness but bitterness didn't get on her because a person can't find BAE when they're bitter because bid am I making sense bitterness defiles discernment bitterness does not allow an individual to assess who they're with properly and they begin to choose the opposite of what they had not realizing that when you just choose the opposite of what you had you may be choosing to avoid something that you don't want but that doesn't mean you're choosing somebody that you do want are you hearing what I'm saying and what happens is when a person chooses in a season of bitterness once their heart gets healed they come up they come to a season where their eyes are open and they realize now that I'm doing better I think I could've did better is this too much should I save that one for the 12 we're all right yeah I said you can hit us am I making sense that when a person is in pain that pain affects the perspective and they can begin to choose to avoid pain as opposing to choosing to for fine feel meant to find fulfillment don't just choose to avoid pain choose to find to find fulfilment don't just choose because you aren't going to hurt me choose because you make me happy there's a difference and people will start compromising on non-negotiables they start ignoring compatibility traits just to avoid another bad experience because bitterness blinds you and defiles your discernment and making sense so this is what happens y'all so Naomi goes to Bethlehem Ruth goes with her and Ruth goes to get some food from a field and she just coincidentally picks a certain field and when she entered the field the Bible says in chapter 2 she began to glean behind the harvesters so the harvesters are those who are responsible for harvesting the harvest gathering the harvest from the field but they leave things behind they don't gather every single thing so she she comes behind the Reapers and she is reaping I don't have time but she's she is a reaping behind the Reapers she's reaping behind the Reapers and as she is reaping and working in a field I love this cuz Ruth I'm not gonna bother this she sees she's working in a field and the Bible says just in chapter 9 and verse number 4 they just then Oh ass arise from Bethlehem and he greets the harvesters and he says the Lord be with you the Lord bless you and then he acts the harvesters who does that young one we belong to see did you hear what I just said so Ruth is working in this field then this dude named Boaz shows up Boaz owns the field so he's checking on his harvesters and he sees a woman working in the field and he asks the harvesters who is that they say we know she's roof she's here this she's a Moabite who came back from Moab with Naomi she said please let me glean and gather the cheese from behind the harvesters she came into the field and remain here watch this from morning until now except for a short rest in the shelter when my sons get older I'm gonna sit them down and I'm explaining this to them i'ma show them how to find a roof did you hear what I said a roof okay I'll tell you what that means in a minute so what's this she came into the field she's remained here except for a short rest for shelter so boa has said to Ruth my daughter listen to me don't you go and glean in another field don't you go away from you you stay here with the women who work for me y'all missed it you don't work for me they work for me but you stay here with the women who work for me watch the field with the men to harvesting follow along after the women and I've told the men see if I had a daughter I will show her this I told the men not to lay a hand on you I took I told okay look I told them don't you touch that it it's not mine yet but it's not yours Oh y'all missed it he is covering her and she doesn't even know she's being covered he's protecting her in her absence she is looking out for her he is not just seeing what he can get from her and he told her he said listen whenever you thirsty go and get a drink from the walls of Georgia that the men have filled and at this she bowed down her face to him and she asked why have I found such favor in your eyes that you noticed me what made you notice me Oh y'all y'all please don't miss this what made somebody like you notice somebody like me what's what Boaz said are y'all ready boy and said I've been told about all you've done for your mother in love since the death of your husband how you left your father and your mother and your homeland and you came to live with people you did not know before do you see this let me show you a few things out of all the fields Ruth could have gone into she just coincidentally goes in the Boaz his field here it is Boaz is field represents the will of God for Ruth so she found favor in the field because the field is the will she wouldn't have gotten noticed if she wouldn't have been in that field at the time that Boaz coincidentally came to check on the harvest see when you are in the will of God God will put you at the right place at the right time with a person who know how to notice the right stuff you missed it you missed it he did not compliment her figure he complimented her faithfulness he said I see how loyal you been then they owe me and being the man that I am I need a woman like that who's gonna be more than cute but who's gonna be lawyer I see how you work in this field I need a woman that's not just gonna reap I need a woman that's gonna help me work and help build this thing that God has given to me see some people want a boy ass but they not willing to become Ruth Ruth had character she had character he said he heard how she helped someone that could do nothing for her because true character is revealed and how you treat people you don't need he he saw her loyalty to Naomi and he was attracted to that watch this because loyalty is only revealed when people have options don't call people lawyer who hadn't shown you watch this that they have the ability to handle options some people you call a lawyer when they hadn't had a chance not to be it's only when they have had a chance not to be lawyer that you can see that they're actually lawyer because loyalty is only revealed in the face of opportunities when they have options and they choose like Ruth deer to say I'm not going back to Moab I'm going to with you to Bethlehem that is a revelation of loyalty they aren't loyal when they don't have options they wise don't mean a lawyer is this is this alright y'all is this alright so let me share it let me share with you let me share with you three things really quickly three things that I will share of my own children three things that I would share of my own children now seeing this text I believe God's ways the best way three things I see I'm a sharing with us number one you can't fire bay until you find yourself [Applause] some of us know that come on now let me see if I could find talk to some to some grown people here some of us know that in this season of your life your taste is changed there was some stuff you just had to have in one season of your life and now that you've grown and you have responsibilities and you have a different outlook of life your interests are a bit different your taste didn't change you did and it's dangerous to pick somebody for a lifetime that's only compatible with you for a season this is why I'm gonna just give this this is really 12 o'clock I know this is 12 o'clock but I'm gonna throw this one out too this is why every breakup I'm gonna talk about this next week every breakup not the devil there's some stuff you just thought but we so perfect together and God knows you perfect together for this season and I know you're about to make a long-term that gods like you are about to make a long-term decision based on a place you are seasonally but you are about to evolve into a different person with different interests and different appetites and sometimes God picks for your future we pick for our present God picks for our future he says cuz I know who you gonna be five years from now I know no I know no that would you like you you know gonna care about that you can't find Bay until you find yourself Who am I what what do I value what am i non-negotiables Who am I apart from this was so amazing about Ruth she had a season of inactivity to find herself she's married then she loses her husband now she has a mother-in-law and she has a choice do I do I go back to Moab y'all follow Naomi she made her own decision she became my own woman she found herself she had a baby says what do I want I know what Naomi's telling me to do but what do I want see if you don't know what you want you won't know when you found it and they're people who are trying to find Bay and Gus like I want you to find you I want you to find the best version of you I want you to know who you are outside of a relationship here it is because here's from my note takers who you choose is not just a reflection of how you see them it's a reflection of how you see you some of y'all didn't say Amen but I see this all some of y'all on the stream you can't see this pic who we choose is not just a reflection of how we see uh them is reflection how we see us and if I don't see me right I won't choose right some of us don't value about us what's valuable because you hadn't ran into people that know how to value it some men would've walked right past Ruth who's working all day a working woman a lawyer woman a woman of character and faithfulness some man would have walked right past that and if roof doesn't know who she was she wouldn't value that about her that's valuable but she wouldn't value it because there are people in her life who didn't know how to value that which was valuable about her when you find yourself you know what's valuable and you don't begin to question whether or not it's valuable because other people don't know how to value it do you don't you mess with me don't you believe that God Boaz represents the person that values the value in you sometimes you're trying to make people value things they don't value are you hearing me there are things about you that are valuable and when you're trying to force something you're trying to make somebody see what's valuable about you that's not Boaz if he can't see it he don't want that maybe he should want that he wants somebody that's gonna lie to his face she take good Instagram pictures but she didn't buddy on the side to you but that's what he won't okay let me go that's what he won't [Applause] okay you can't find Bay until you find yourself number two you can't find Bay if you're following the crowd or people went back home Ruth had a choice whether or not she was gonna follow the crowd Orpah represents what most people in culture do here it is culture operates a certain way where relationships so we can't be surprised if we end up at the same destination as everyone else if we keep riding down the same street then we can't be surprised if our relationships end up like everyone else's if we're doing what everyone else does they've Ramsey says if you want to live like no one else you have to live like no one else if you want a relationship like no one else you have it you have to have a relationship like no one else right if you're in a relationship and it's a long-term relationship it's a long-term relationship right to keep it the way it was in the beginning it's like sometimes people say you know what in the beginning it was and it was I know is this and it's not that anymore so let's talk about that what were you doing in the beginning now look at look at where you are now are you still doing that right most people stop doing that and when you stop doing that you're falling the crowd in the beginning you actually talked this too much y'all don't hear in the beginning you talked you talked you engaged one another you talked you dated you cared how you looked let me let me come on come on come on it's too much but it's like hey that's not wrong but I'm just saying if you drive down the same street as everyone else you can't be surprised if you end up at the same destination you can't find Bay if you're willing if you're gonna follow the crowd does that make sense does that make sense I believe if you don't know where you're going you don't know who should go with you does it make sense well you asked everybody else where you going let me just go here see when you follow will you follow okay I like that kind of person too you know it's you know I'm gonna get merit to just like wait a minute we'll follow the crowd it's following who they pick following how they pick following when they pick you know if somebody don't make a normality out of an abnormality so if somebody met somebody Tuesday and they get married Friday and they stay married 20 years that's an abnormality don't make something abnormal normal and say well it worked for them so let me meet them on Tuesday and then do that up front no don't follow oppa I'm done last but not least number three you can't follow Bay if you're going backwards I mean you can't find Bay if you're going backwards so I'm not gonna get all any of this but roots were some a place called Moab Moab has a very let's just say very ugly origin and I'll leave it that you know lots tour just very ugly art so Ruth knew this was interesting she says not only will your people will be my people your God will be my god you understand so she had evolved as a person and she knew going back to Moab wouldn't be good for her the values there aren't the same she's a different person and what's so amazing is that she didn't let pain from one relationship that died listen to this we're gonna talk about this next week listen to me please roots relationship died literally but it's a metaphor for relationships that died in the cyst that they don't work out and when you have death of a relationship with someone you cared about it hurts and pain pushes you either forward or backwards you choose and if you cannot relate to what I'm talking about this is one a few times as your pastor as a speaker to some of your pastor to most of you it's the first time that one a few times I'll say that I'm okay with you not relating I hope you don't understand what I mean when I talk about the kind of pain that'll push you back to Moab cuz the only way you can get me is if you've lived through that kind of pain I hope you never can relate but for those who can you know what I'm talking about there's a pain that will grip your heart it'll take your appetite it'll take your focus see you don't want talking about the kind of pain where you can't think straight the kind of pain where you can't work pain that hijacks your brain the kind of pain will you just look forward to going to sleep because that's the only time you have peace [Applause] it hurts and the devil want to use that pain and God wants to use that pain and you have to decide because the pain is in your heart and you have to decide which one you're gonna give it to it's in your heart and whoever hands it gets in is going to be determined by who you give it to there's a pain that will hit you and you say man I what am I doing this for but Bay not backwards because here it is Bay is a sign to be an agent of healing now there needs to be some healing before you meet me I don't have time to unpack this but in Ephesians chapter 5 Paul talks about how God ordained relationships are sanctifying relationships that God uses the love of the one in your future to heal you from the pain of the one in your past that that person that that they that they synched it that they sanctify you that God uses them as an agent of sanctification are you here and I know you may be tempted to go backwards and go back to old ways and go back to old habits and go back to old perspectives and go back to selecting from the same old crop right cuz you tried the God crop and you like they no different than that crop so let me go back to this crop listen to me this is the Lord Baze not backwards Boaz is in the right field and that field is the will of God for your life if you stay I'm not gonna bother it yes I am Ruth stayed in that field all day didn't she she stayed in that field all day didn't she she stayed in that field all day family and if you'll stay in the wheel long enough Boaz show up did you hear me if you stay in the field long enough boa has will show up and I know it got lonely in that field because she wasn't working with the harvest that she was working behind the harvesters so she had so all she got was leftover scale so she had to see other people get what she really wanted and she had to settle for leftovers and it had to be lonely he had to be discouraging but she stayed in that field long enough and if you stay in the will of God long enough working in the will of God serving in the will of God Boaz found her working in the will and I know it's been long but when Boaz shows up I bet Ruth will tell you it's worth it the tears you cry the heartache the Bible says this and I'm speaking this over your life because it's God's Word is God's Word those who sow in tears is that the Bible they'll reap in joy [Applause] and goddess enjoy into your life on two legs and she will say hello my name is Ruth or he will say hello my name is Boaz who are you I'm the harvest from the tears you cried I'm God's justice I'm his recompense I am recompense I'm your reward the devil made you cry I came to make you smile so be not weary Ruth Boaz in well-doing can you imagine I gotta go can you imagine people walking up the Boaz me like bruh you ain't married yet you got all this money you got all these options you got all this influence but he was patient enough to say I'm waiting and then God God God when he was just routinely checking on the field God put the right one in the right field at the right time

Channel: Dharius Daniels TV

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Keywords: dharius Daniels, change church, td jakes, Steven furtick, ed young, John gray, Hillsong, levi lusko, jentzen franklin, dave ramsey, bill hybels, carl lentz, pastor matthew stevenson, chad veach, rich wilkerson jr, ron carpenter, keion henderson, jamal bryant, joel osteen, rob hill sr, tony robbins, gary vee, michan carter, pastor brian houston, zoe church la, vous church, potters house, bethel church, mosaic church

Id: VsWMQ4XKOOc

Length: 38min 11sec (2291 seconds)

Published: Tue Aug 07 2018