When Phil Kicked Miss Kay Out, How Lisa Told Al the Truth, Double Lives, and Desperation | Ep 195

i am unashamed what about you so it's ladies day on unashamed podcast or as i would put it strange creatures women are strange creatures i want you to know it's somebody looking at you and then saying women or strange characters or creatures i don't know if they'd believe you perfect normalcy is scary to people well you know i love it when dad will say like about gordon or somebody you know he's got a look about him oh yeah and then i love it because people look back at that like you got to look about you yeah and and you know when he preaches i know i met somebody that didn't know uh duck dunn's not familiar but they were there that day and i heard him say is that the preacher you look at gordon and you know not only is it a little weird but he ain't from around here that's right well one thing is he's got a giant head i mean like birds could be attracted to that head it's just you know i don't know if it's because he's got a big brain in there or not he is pretty smart but pretty good-sized brain and he's working on our new book sure he is yeah and it's really good you said you've been reading some of it that's excellent so uh babe this is your first this was lisa's first time on the shade first time you excited about it yeah you're sitting in jace's seats oh god oh goodness gracious that means you're gonna have to you so i asked lisa i have to talk stock market if i sit right here yes talk stop murray and you have to interrupt dad as much as possible that's that's the role you have to play i asked lisa about it she said i said have you ever listened to the podcast she said well i did a time or two but it's so hard listening to jace ramble on and interrupt and interrupt that's what he does not that phil has never interrupted back well look mom you'll be there was a woman named grace uh from canada the listener and she said i know that i read last time jace was here and said chase does interrupt some but you got to understand it's just the love of jesus that flows out he just can't stop it from coming out that was grace's day if only she knew that he has been arguing with me since he was three years old so i would like for her to hear some of that we might need to hear some of that yeah especially since he's not just put us together you know he'll say what you want to about old jace he is one godly man he really is he is oh yeah he's great he's a he's a straight arrow there's no doubt about that but the bible said yeah more words about arguments have nothing to do with foolish arguments what about that verse yeah yeah you know he said mom that the reason that you and and he didn't get along was because you didn't get his humor for all his whole childhood he was nobody got that humor because he was just joking and you just oh yeah yeah he was i'm sure he was no he just looked at me and said i'm just going to live my life aggravating her and arguing with him he still does uh so uh so i want y'all to start today i wanted y'all to basically give our audience because mom's been on a couple times but usually it's been more more male so we're we're balanced we're fair and balanced today so i want to hear about rob what it's like being a robertson from the women's side because we our audience totally gets it from the mail side because they get it every time they list a podcast but i want them to hear what what's it like to be a robertson you aren't i mean both of you came in young so you basically grew up because y'all were i mean you were what 16 when we first got together actually you were 15 we first i was 13 yeah and you were about 14 when you first started running with dad right that's correct so basically y'all have kind of come into this family and i've been in it for most of your life so what's what's it like being ryerson let the audience know and i've been a robertson twice as long as i was a gibson because i've been married 36 years now yeah and gibson by the way jimmy redd is a gibson he's lisa's nephew along with a few others out here in the wild west that's exactly far from the trees [Laughter] um that could be a whole podcast just what it's like to be gibson yeah yeah i don't want to name miller yeah those are two combinations um let's see what it's like to be a robertson um well tell them about when you first misunderstood um not appreciated not listened to that's right okay what is the what was dad's remember with the for when you first came in when we got together the second time and we got married what was what was dad's rule about women because you were the first one so well he said you gotta convert them or cull them and i didn't want to be called you want to be called i'd already called her once you know one time so she won't be called again which is pretty funny what about you mom oh you're ready for me to really talk about i am okay i want to hear it especially back when it all first started because because you kind of your family i don't you weren't rich by any standard but you had some means we were the richest people in our town well there you go well what 300 people 200. we had the only i guess that's better than the other 194. and guess what we had the biggest store hardware store grocery store and all that so i didn't act like a little rich girl though even though i i was that i didn't want to be like that and that's what attracted me to him because well you know not only was he good looking you know he didn't have all this but he uh i just liked his look then i found out he hunted he fished that was just like my daddy and i loved that about my daddy and i would help him clean everything the doves the quail the squirrels i held the legs and all that so i like that man that kind of man pioneer man right and i yes it was a pioneer and i and my mama wanted me to date all these other boys but ugh they were too nice if you know what i mean and i mean i said i can open mondo or don't you don't have to do that you're just wasting time i'm ready to go so you know i i that was just me i didn't care for all that and i didn't get it with this one and this was the early 60s right yeah yeah this is the time period we're talking about so you still had sort of the chivalrous gentleman and all that but but dad was not not that right he was more just kind of the woodsman or yeah i like that about him was good looking and i did you know i'd like football to this day so what was your first date with dad do you remember well somebody else set it up this is that's what's funny a girl that was the upperclassman decided that we'd make a cute couple so she told me to walk him off the field that he wanted me to and he told phil that i wanted him to walk off with me on the football field that's how we got together oh so you were a cheerleader yeah i was a cheerleader and he was he was a quarterback that's right good too he was very good and um so that's how we started and then it just kept going and but see when we first dated i know he won't remember this right but we first dated after that meeting and all that then he broke up with me in dust duck season our hunting season because he said i i would interfere with his time so i'm sorry yeah that was it so i was like okay now i really you know think about i want to marry you and you're breaking up with me because i'm interfering with your hunting season i should have got some clues there but so we were not together and we both and then he just lied because he dated somebody else not regularly but one or two or three women girls and then i had two or three four boy dates but i mean i just was i knew he was a woman but i was like back then the girls didn't chase the boys you waited you know and when my again that was part of the era yeah that time right so when in may when my daddy died and you were 14 yes and it was in may middle of may and so a lot of the my friends and other people came to a lot of young people were there at the funeral and i saw him at the funeral so then after the funeral i saw him he walked up to me and i don't know you know he said he was sorry about my dad and then he just said you want to go out well i said of course i do so you know so that hook up then we never wear a part again yeah i tell y'all story some cause i've got a picture that i found somewhere of that era you know you're about that age it could it may not be exactly 14 but you know 15 17 whatever sitting by a car you're sitting on the hood and he's standing by leaning back against the car and so i love telling that story about y'all because it also kind of came out of obviously a very painful part of your life and then i tell the story about your mom kind of went off the deep end so then he really did yeah we were dating at the same time yeah and my mom i know and she wasn't exactly and i got home earlier than her yeah she wasn't exactly bringing in the the best people either right i mean no she wound up with uh being married a little while too a nice guy that was nice to me but it was just she was i was more in her you know she just wanted to move on with her and her new life and so i looked at phil as a replacement for my dad because he was a hunter and fisherman that he was and also as a protector i knew that no matter what like the cowboy days he would keep me from being killed right or being hurt yeah so but then what happened was when we went to tech because we had an allen on the way so there i was at 16 pregnant yeah and then we go to check and i i turned and dad was just starting at tech he was 18 right yeah so i had you know i was praying up with you so i had you in january and you know there was a 17 year old and an 18 year old or 19 whatever he was raising a baby and i said well the way i look at it i never was one to keep little children or do all that because i always had baby baby cats baby dogs baby sheep everything lambs you know i took care of animals so i said well how different could it be to take care of you and a little baby kitten so you know i would rock you and hold you but i i mean that's how dumb i was about being a mother i'm glad you did i guess i'm still here so you did something wrong well you know that you know i told you that i would bring that little black and white tv in your room you're in the baby bed and i told you every time we're watching the dallas cowboys and he would just jump up and down and clap his hands and i did that for four years you're the reason i was a ki i've been a cowboy that's right and that he he learned and all he would say if i said football he said cowboys he said cowboy you know like flash memories unfortunately they're usually of like because i was a lot of accidents when i was a little bitty boy i remember some deer antlers fell on my head i fell one time and hit the corner of the car and then big old wide things when you opened the door and just split this eyebrow but i can remember it i guess it's because of the pain or trauma but so i have these like flash memories of when i'm like three or four but every one of those i took you to the doctor and you got treated you took care of me yeah just like a good kitten i guess yeah that's a good little puppy dog yeah get get into the but i think that's why you're you're obedient now i mean you're just you know like a good dog that's right you trained me well yeah so lisa i told the story about one of our first dates uh when we went to the fish mart we went to fish market and they didn't take the fish so i told that story on the podcast recently but uh tell about the tell about the story um of our actual first date and how that came to be we tell it all the time when we go speak before we do that let's take a quick break so i don't know if the ladies uh will agree to this but the men the men on here talk about it all the time one of the worst things about getting older is aches and pains is that true for you babe yeah i'm almost the double nickels i will be in january and the aches and pains have added so the reason the reason why it happens is because of inflammation basically that's where you get these joint aches and these and all this stuff and so the product we've been using dad and i've been on it and lisa's been taking it too so omega xl is the name of it and basically it neutralizes inflammation that causes these stiff joints and muscles and it works dad and there's no doubt about it i mean i hardly ever take ibuprofen right baby i took it every day before so it's a lot better for your body too because this is all natural uh from the pristine waters of new zealand uh these muscles that they get so if they got some aches and pains you really need to try it i'm telling you it works omega xl if you go there omega xl.com phil you're going to get a second bottle free so you buy a bottle get a second bottle free this will give you a couple of months there to be able to try it omega xl.com or you can call them 800-844-4888 that's 800-844-4888 in the old days that's what we'll call it our kay calls it the olden days thank you uh it would have been early 80s is the time frame 81 82. yeah we would drive around um through mcdonald's in and out of the parking lot of mcdonald's and um so i was driving through one night and i saw my cousin and bubba bubba remember a big bubba yeah i do and so he stopped me and i was talking to him and i had already met alan when i was in the sixth grade and fell in love with him i think then but whenever i saw him and i was in the 10th grade um you know i fell in love all over again but um so i see bubba and he pulls me over and we um we start talking and then a head comes in my window and it was alan and he said wow so what i think is wow means you filled out exactly what it means it's redneck for you filled out wow yes redneck language because he hadn't seen me since i was in the sixth grade she was a little scrawny thing when she used to traipse around after me in middle school and all of a sudden i was like whoa you know there's been some growth here yeah uh so anyway so he said well hey when are we going out and i said well whenever you ask so he said okay let's go out tomorrow i was okay he said well you want to meet me here that was the first time at the drive-thru that was the first time in trouble my mother was not at the drive-through you know yeah we didn't know y'all met at the drive-in probably i haven't been to a drive-through in so long that's where i've met my wife so um what was funny is my mother didn't like that idea that we were going on which she shouldn't have and we were meeting at mcdonald's by the way so the audience knows what she's fixing to fill you in but i wasn't of the best character this was during the prodigal era we've talked about before yeah um so i've met my dad realized this is all pre-pre-conversion for everybody exactly right yeah um so i met you there and you had two two of my cousins with you that night yeah bubba and mike and my tracy which is a normal day that was crazy a normal day a couple of cousins you know it was her cousin i've never heard of that well it was it was like a double date but it was just two guys well they were they were brothers well that's what i said what why'd you bring them and he said it's a double date i'm like but they're boys but they had access to alcohol and and marijuana that was why they were that's right lisa was introduced to that world and i was i was yeah i was not part of that or had not been part of that yet and um so by the end of the night our our date ended and we're in a strip club parking lot we're in front of the shelar lounge over in monroe in monroe used to be over there on 18th street the shelar it was a it was a strip there was only strip club that's ever been in monroe i think so that's where we were i'm not familiar with that i've never heard this story i don't know whether we got off on the right foot or not here no trust me we did not we did not that's right we did correct it we ended we ended that night um with me and alan on the back seat and him passed out and i'm just in the you know in the parking lot of this strip club and then both my cousins mike and bubba are in the strip club because that we weren't old enough to go that sounds like a nightmare to me it was a nightmare it was terrible and so it was and you would think that that would have that would have been the worst but it wasn't it was it got worse so we were so we were together a few months and this was the time dad i had had other girlfriends and other issues and one of their one of my former girlfriends before lisa's dad came down and confronted y'all about me and my behavior it was all true but i lied of course about it and finally oh i was i was the perfect little liar no doubt about it and i was living a double life you know i mean i was just it was i i tried to look good in church and all that stuff but i wasn't i was terrible and i and i always look at it from y'all's perspective that because because jase is always like oh they just never wanted to look at i said but yeah but parents never do like you love your children you just wouldn't think they'd be capable of what they're doing and you get into it sometimes this is the evil one he just had my heart and i was serving him and one of my greatest regrets and i say it all the time with lisa is that when i met her she was a good girl i mean she had had you know what we talked about a lot on the podcast you've been molested so she had all that past stuff that affected who she was but i'm the one that corrupted her i'm the one that led her down the bad path and so it's interesting because all these years later after being married so long and us you know obviously when i came back to the lord i reached out to lisa and it started the process that's our whole life now but dad sat me down in this era and just said because i was 17. uh lisa and i've been together a little while of course she was just in love with me but she was just a girl to me i didn't i didn't feel about her the same way and dad was like you gotta either straighten up or hit the road you know it's just it's he gave me a clear choice you know which looking back on it i i tell people all the time that was a love speech because what happened was you knew the path i was on not only was i going to crash and burn but i was going to take down brothers and the rest of the family i mean you had to do the right thing and you did it problem was i wasn't ready so i was defiant and so i left and left in a bad way and of course that is when i ditched lisa at the same time and then so her life went into a tailspin from there you weren't defined to me you were defined to what i said but you didn't show it you know that's right well and and because i respected you and i also knew that deep down you were right yeah you know you when you're living the double life you know it's wrong yeah that's the thing about it i mean it's not like you're like oh no this is fine because why why are you doing it in secrets like you describe the somebody going out stealing horses why do they do it at night you know why don't they well you can claim well i want to live my life the way i want to live it but why are you being so secretive about it because you try to justify it you do but even your conscience tells you it's still wrong so one of the things i want to talk about because i think it's interesting something that we share together is that and i hadn't thought about it until y'all were going to be on is that so obviously both of us went into our relationship with a lot of baggage right yeah i mean dad had a 10-year run there of not being a christian built up a lot of the devil the devil that's right being here so but it was interesting because i was doing the math and that was about 12 years from when you guys first got together and so for lisa and i it was about 15 years after we got we had been together that then it was just a crash and burn i mean for y'all back in that day and then for us 15 years and hours so i want to talk a little bit about that because it's interesting that it seems to be sometimes you can build something up through the years and i know there's a lot of couples and people that are listening that are probably going through something like that right now or about to and so i want to give them some hope as well there's a mighty throng of them going through stuff like that exactly and it a lot of time it's no magical year but but you get into that you've been together a few years and you built up a lot of bad habits and then you just then it turns into conflict and so i can remember that because in our case i was there as a boy when y'all were going through it but then later lisa and i go through almost the exact same thing as you guys so but the difference you know it was her more and in my case it was him not that we were perfect but you know the main ones that did the things think about it al when you get right down to it the entire human race goes through it absolutely and when this when this when you get old enough to be accountable right and you begin to defy god and the sinning starts everybody goes through that that's right which is why i believe this book that's in front of me because it tells us that that's exactly right so we already have the report here it is written right you all have seen you know they've none good doing good they all turned away well every last one of them worldwide and a lot of them don't make the comeback but well a percentage of them do that's what you're trying to impress upon people is the longer you stay in that frame of mind and lifestyle the longer bad stuff then attaches to you and how you operate and the more damage it causes usually in your relationship the sad part is most once they're cut off yeah a lot of them don't know god they they they don't know where to go they don't know where to look they're in the rehab they're in the prison they're in this there and that the devastation that they have the drugs they just keep it it's just a rolling or rolling thunder right and the only way out is the one each of us found right which it is it is uh way better oh right yeah i would say that's for sure and i think too the longer you're in it the more satan's got his claws into you and he continues to tell you that you're too bad that you know there is no salvation for that and that nobody could love you like you are you're not worth any of that that's exactly right so i think the longer you're in it that's more of that detrimental thing that happens is that because like as you've said before sin progresses and so you get worse and worse and worse and then i think um you justify it you you think what you're doing is okay uh you're not as bad as the guy next door you know phil was as bad or worse than the guy next door but he didn't feel like he was oh no no now hang on dad let's take another break so mom i don't know if you ever got these on the bed but i i gave you some bowl and branch sheets oh yeah have you have you tried yeah they're great so tell me what you think about them well they're good i bet you didn't know this bowl and branch uh you know how soft and comfortable they are but did you know that three presidents sleep on bowling branch sheets no i didn't know that yeah so you're like the president the first lady now sleeping on bowling branch sheets that's how good they are but we love them lisa and i love them yeah we we had already bought them before they were ever a sponsor on the show and and we love them we use them on our beds as well basically they're that what they say is they're a thousand dollar quality but a fraction of the price and i would say that's true you can try them for a month risk-free so if you don't like them you send them back but trust me you won't send them back right now you get 50 off any sheet set at bowlingbranch.com if you use the promo code robertson so it's boll b-o-l-l and branch dot com promo code robertson 50 off uh check these guys out restrictions may apply but see bowlingbranch.com for all the details well it's uh and it's biblical but uh interesting little text here let's see listen to this one uh uh what benefit did you reap at that time from the things you are now ashamed of yeah which is a good way of putting it yeah but now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves to god the benefit you reap leads to holiness and the result is eternal life for the wages of sin is death so it's a life or death we are speaking about life and death moments that's exactly right in our past that's exactly right and and that's why you tell your story which becomes jesus story as a cautionary tale for everybody else because you don't want people to go through what you went through why why would you want people to say that shows you the way god works because you can see you know like for me staying 10 years through that it was like i said i know what a war is like yeah because i lived with him for 10 years as a you know devil person and so i mean you know other people would say how did you do that see they want to know sure what did why it started where it was and what happened at the end because they said obviously y'all are together and happy family and we are but they they told me they want to hear the bad and the good and the ugly every bit of it right so i think when we do that then they see how god works and especially like in my case by staying because my family said don't stay his family told me don't stay with him i mean he's too mean he's too bad and all that well i had to sit on the words my grandmother about not leaving my marriage i i was upset that it was supposed to be and she said you won't ever get a divorce because you're gonna stay married so i thought i would stay married yeah and then then nine years into it or maybe right at the nearly the 10 mark you know he kicked us all out thank you but so we got in our little volkswagen three boys off to west monroe yep and all the stuff we could carry in that volkswagen thank you but what's ironic mom is that a few months after that around with the time frame but when dad came back you basically gave him the same choice he gave me that's right all those years later he's like i love you i want you in the family but you can't it's not going to work with you the way you are repentance come slow to some exactly by the way just so you all will know that was and you'll laugh at this but it's a true statement that was the fastest 74 years i've ever spent on planet earth and this is how long it seems this took yeah i mean yeah it went and now i'm like whoa yeah i'm 74 years old my next marker is 80. yeah well the average uh life expectancy for a male in these united states is 77 i'm like let's see i'm 74. you got 5 76. i said whoa it goes by quick oh wow i remember when you were a little boy down at louisiana tech but now your whiskers are gray like mine too i'm just i'm an old fart yeah no bad about it well so so you think about it though mom you're right when that choice is then made things change and so for the audience a lot of times i think people bail too early all right because they're and because here's what happens you go into another relationship like with this i made the wrong person you know obviously we're fighting with this or that this happened someone had an affair and so it's like so you marry someone else but typically then you have the same problems because people are still people and so like then sometimes the third marriage or fourth marriage and so people have to look inwardly as to how did this where are we why is this happening what's the atmosphere because i always tell people nobody stands in front of a preacher and says i do thinking that they want to get a divorce i mean that moment they're thinking i want to be with this person the rest of my life i mean that's why i'm standing here that's why i'm saying the ideas that's why i'm giving my vow or that they want to have an affair that's right nobody's imagining that in that moment so the evil one is the one setting the traps and for these things we don't have and like dad said people feel like they have an unfillable hole and i want you to talk about that because describe a little bit kind of what happened with us you don't get the whole deal but just kind of where we wound up because for them it was 12 year mark for us it was 15. um well we had been married for 15 years but also at the five year mark we kind of had a kind of a near miss a near miss um fair is it i just got an emotional connection you made with this person and and that should have sent us to a counselor we should have dealt with that then and for all the listeners out there you know if there is something that's a near-miss you know somebody's emotionally involved with someone else please see a counselor there's a reason why you know and you need to get to the bottom of that but um for us we've been married 15 years our girls were i think 10 and 12 right around in that age and um i um was working for duck commander and an old boyfriend called that um i had dated back in high school and so as they say um small talk led to bigger talk and you know intimate talk and things of that nature so um i had an affair for 14 months and what's um what is ironic about a person who is having an affair is that the one person they don't want to hurt is the person that they're hurting and that's their spouse i mean i never wanted to hurt you but it was all about the darkness that was inside of me um i know that in his heart phil didn't want to hurt kay either you know that's right he didn't want nobody else to get man to that yeah um so i used to drive down the road during this 14-month period and i would pray for god to open a door just open the door just you know let me off of this roller coaster and um and it was always honesty every single time the door that he would open would be honesty so i had to tell the truth but i had not told the truth since i was seven years old when i started being molested you know i couldn't tell anybody what was happening happening to me then and we believe it built and this wasn't even your fault it's a seven-year-old kid but someone else's sin against her was building up this light dishonesty thing that would come out all these years later let's take a quick break [Music] so one of the things that's happened with the increased use of internet because of coronavirus especially you know people haven't do all their work from home zooms all this stuff is that it has brought out the cyber thieves and of course a lot of the bad stuff you know it's like we talk about good and evil on the podcast and it's the same thing you got good stuff people are working they're here in this podcast but then you got the eve one right so one of the things that's been happening is these cyber thieves can go online and hack into wherever the title to your home is and basically steal your home title without you knowing it and what they do it's terrible they borrow a bunch of money against it and then somebody's coming to evict you and you you don't even know you don't own your home anymore so it's a very serious crime and we talk about it quite a bit on the podcast here's what you do to check it out go to hometitlelock.com you register your address and make sure you're not already a victim and if you're not then these guys are going to be able to protect that where the thieves can't get in and get it so it's home title lock dot com use the code radio they're going to give you the first month free 33 days it's home title lock dot com code radio um and so i really couldn't tell anybody then and then i really couldn't tell anybody with this either all of my friends were christians um so i really you know couldn't talk to anybody about it um but i know that the you know the honesty part god kept saying you got to be honest but i thought if i'm honest then alan's going to know what i've been doing and it's going to hurt him and only that after the near miss i had told you back then if you ever do anything like this again you're out of this marriage is over so i had that kind of looming over her too you know just the ideas she tells the truth now it's over i've already said it out loud but i also thought you know you wouldn't love me if i told the truth you know and um you know on the night that i did tell the truth we call it truth vomit because you had found out about it and um found phone records and oh and i was like i was like a cia he was a waterboarder waterboarder i mean you talk about get to the bottom of the truth because i knew now i had the proof and but she still she was holding on to it so tight she just did not want to say the words but i was not going to leave there without hearing truth that night and i told him i said if i if i tell you what's been going on you won't love me you'll leave me and he said if you don't tell me the truth you know i'm leaving and um so as as i vomited up the truth and when she got going i told it all you know i just i tell people that that is psalm 51. you remember when david when he finally got smoked out about bathsheba you read psalm 51 it's just him going i mean i was terrible i couldn't have even even in the womb i had to be a sinner because i'm so bad you know it's just when someone gets to that point of truth then it comes out but but look the damn has to break before you can get to any kind of healing or reconciliation if you're not going to be truthful and honest we can't find forgiveness go ahead but you know like i was talking about a while ago you find a way to justify it and i did i found a way to justify what i was doing but in that moment when it all came out and whenever i heard myself say the things that i'd been doing and i looked in the mirror and i thought how did i get here like where where did i go so wrong at because you really don't recognize who you are whenever you take a really long look at yourself in the mirror whenever you've been in these sinful situations and you go who am i how did i get there and and where did i fall off the track um but also at the same time whenever i said it whenever i was honest it was like a weight was lifted off of me because i no longer had to be um you know running from the truth and denying the truth and waiting for the other shoe to drop so to speak um did you tell me that a double life is so exhausting it is you know because you're constantly trying to keep this one from knowing what that is about and it's exhausting well and the lies you don't know who you've told what to to cover up you know one lie or another lie so you know sometimes you get those mixed up also but what's ironic is lisa felt relief from telling the truth i felt relief from finally hearing the truth because i thought i was going crazy all this time because she's not saying she's doing it i would have different periods i thought well maybe maybe she's not maybe i'm just missing this whole boat here and so like we were doing that dance for so long so i felt relief just like she did what was interesting was i didn't think we would stay married but then once a person has finally come clean just like dad did too then all of a sudden you're open to something new you when jesus told those people that we're trying to kill him he says you belong to your father the devil and you want to carry out your father's desire he was a murderer from the beginning not holding to the truth for there is no truth in him when he lies he speaks his native language for he is a liar and the father of all eyes well if you look at that that's pretty powerful that's very very he's a very powerful being he is and and once you buy into the deceit oh then you're blinded and just one and he just keeps it going just like lisa was describing you've heard living the lie i mean that's that's exactly right that's him right there so you know tell the audience what you did in that moment like once you vomited that truth out and i'm just kind of numb and you know but relieved tell them what what you did i went um i went out into the backyard um and laid down on the grass and i told alan if i could have i would have dug a hole because that was how low that i was feeling but at that point i said you know i thought i had a relationship with god i thought i knew who he was i thought that i was a christian at that point um but i wasn't and so i just looked up i'm laying in the grass and i just look up and i'm i'm like god if you're out there i don't know that i even believe that you are i don't even know that i believe in you or anything about this but at this moment i need you and so if you're out there if if you are you know who i've heard that you are would you please come and rescue me and what's amazing is at that point i felt that i felt that at that point god came [Music] and i and i think it was because of the openness that i had towards him because i had never had an open heart to god before but after spilling all of that out i finally had an open heart to god and um and he came and and i really felt that and then i had a desire to learn more about the bible who he was what my role was what i was supposed to do and and that was after my heart was opened so let's take one last break and mom i want you to tell the story because we've shared three our three desperate moments this is why we wrote the book desperate forgiveness because when you get to that desperate place where there's nowhere else to go that's when many times you finally turn to god right so the three of us told ours tell about the when you were in the bathroom at the worst of it yeah tell that because to me i think that's your desperate moment it was and uh he was continually you know drinking the only thing i can say good about this he never quit working he always supported me but he was just getting worse drinking and and he was actually uh had got hurt or something he was laid off a little while from working offshore and he was at the house so that became horrible because he was just drunk at my house because usually his drunkenness is out at the parties and the other women all that stuff so i remember coming home and he'd been there and i was late and it was because i i think it was something with a car or something you know and i had to go by and pick y'all up because he would never go get his children from daycare and so i came in and then he just started on me because i was late that i was probably having an affair and i just laughed almost because i thought yeah i've got so much time for another i was just projecting that onto you oh it was just like and i was like you know i drive 40 minutes to work i come back i have to get pick up my kids you have to go to the store then i come home and i cook a good supper i mean i do all this and so that night i don't know what happened it just hit me he you know that he's just not going to change you know and i said myself to god in that bathroom when i was crying i just said i've stayed i mean at that time it's probably nine years or nine and a half or something and i said i've stayed i've been faithful and now he's accusing me have been an adultery you know and all that i mean it was just like man this is it i mean and that's when i was crying and crying and of course since we were in a trailer and you can hear everything in the room next door that's when i always talk about i heard three little feet i mean three sets of feet wearing their house shoes and i knew it was the boys and and alan said mama don't cry anymore he said god's gonna take care of you and and us and you know for that second because right before that second i said if i had a bottle of pills right now i would take them and i would just go to sleep and not have to worry about this anymore and you know what else i thought then i hope he feels guilty to the day he died that's what i thought yeah and that those by the way that was the evil one knife in it on you now now that's correct because to check out right that's right so so all four of us then that's the reason i want to talk about today on the podcast because people respect us and love us and we obviously share a lot about the bible and a lot of good stuff but i want people to know that all four of us have been in a super desperate place and we all messed up as teenagers we we fell short but god was always there until we were finally ready to say god we're ready you know to follow you and that's why all four of us have spent our lives trying to help people and lead people to christ that's correct you know and so but people need to know that because there's a lot of desperate people out there they're in the same place we were in you know peace of mind it's rare it's very rare and the only the only way you find it is through accepting christ and following him extending and receiving forgiveness and then commitment to life change because all four of us changed our lives and that's what changed everything for us but we remember the forgiveness so mom so recently we've we've told this before but we just have phyllis antonio and we we were talking about how that you know the night that we you know revealed to you guys that there may be a sister from that right before that same era we're talking about from this lifestyle um your reaction was not you know a lot of women that find out there's a 44 year old daughter from your husband are not gonna that's not me received well in mom's case she was like oh i've always wanted a daughter you know i did she was actually a little upset with your dad yeah yeah she was like i've had this girl he's wanted a dog dad's like i didn't know so but but what i what i loved about that mom was that what that told me that night was that when you forgave dad 44 years earlier when he came accepted christ started a new lifestyle you forgave him right same thing i did with lisa but you meant it because if you did if you wouldn't a minute then even 45 years later she would have been angry oh this just you live that life and she could have just set in on you but she didn't because she knows who you are now and even 44 years that go by and now in our case phyllis and tony live here we have a great relationship with her she's a part of our family she hunts with us and so and she's just like him that's right oh in so many ways the more i'm around her oh she is so roberts i mean it rises a lot of myself too no compassion no she's boy the twists and turns of life now some of these people in the artist said that's about the most low down sorry about but what can we say without sinners without christ we're all loaded the truth that's right i want to say something though that i believe back when phil and i had our stuff and all i would go to church some because i uh i did believe in god but and then i was ashamed though they'd find out about you and you know that just made it real hard for me because i was ashamed of that and uh but i think about now this is what upsets me because even when we got back together we didn't they did a thing more with phil on you know trying to teach him how to become a christian because he had lived so long in that life and then but and we had talks with both of us but mostly it was with him but nowadays people have counselors they have people that can help them that we didn't know who to call you know we just go to whoever helped us at church but now there's so many things offered to people to help them and that's what messes me up so bad because i'll say and they say i'm bro you know i'm separated or whatever they say and i say would you did you try to go to counseling because we have we can point you to the right direction and all that and they'd just say no no we didn't go to council and i said you don't understand everybody should give it a try that's right some will work and some want but there is so much opportunity now to get help that we didn't know how to get help yeah and you just have to seek it and be humble and be honest and find it because people want to get you know help so let me mention here at the end a few resources just that we've provided if if something we've said today has touched you we've written about everything we talked about elise and i wrote a new season and then desperate forgiveness which is a follow-up so something has touched you from our story what we told you get those books because you can find some hope in healing happy happy happy which is dad's first book basically tells his life and conversion story and then mom and the women of duck commander talks about a lot of what you talked about today so those are great resources if you know somebody that's going through something pick one of those up and get it in their hands because it's going to help them that's why we did it and i also want to mention we got uh some new books coming up next year dad's working on one on uh cancer culture which we've mentioned a couple of times so be on the lookout for that one and then lisa and mom uh are gonna do a book which i'm excited about we're announcing for the first time uh so we hadn't quite got the title for sure on it but we're working on the ideas and it's going to be a a little bit about what we talked about today how those stories have launched both of you into helping other women especially but a lot of people and there's so much in the in the bible about that very thing which is powerful so uh just want to encourage you on those it's always good to have the ladies uh to visit the uh unashamed you know our women's audience is really growing mom oh really yeah yeah yeah it is a very male dominated audience well it's a miracle today because phil and all y'all can tell how i mispronounce words is that right yeah you have butchered the english language i have and listen i'm telling you it's all natural i don't i i didn't even know i mess up but on this one today i don't think i've mispronounced one word but i don't know well we might have to check the go back and check the videos i have a duck gumbo waiting on us i fixed it i started on it last night finished it up about nine so it's been simmering for about two or three hours and you know dad's cooking your mom used to do most of the cooking but that does a lot of cooking now he does over half the cooking yeah but one of my girls from my bible it doesn't bother your manhood no hey when when i was having a little bible study at my country kitchen so i sent a girl down there to get something and she come back and she walked in that and they said what is that smell and she said what are you talking about and they said you smell like some kind of cajun gumbo or something so she had just walked through the kitchen went back up to us on the little steps there's not much better smell than the gumbo especially a rubin it will draw people from miles around well i say let's go eat some so i'll see y'all next time thanks for listening to the unashamed podcast help us out by rating us on itunes and don't miss an episode by subscribing on youtube and be sure to click that little bell to get notified about new episodes and for even more content that you won't get anywhere else subscribe to blaze tv at blazetv.com unashamed

Channel: Phil Robertson

Views: 1,438,931

Rating: 4.9118042 out of 5

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Id: XySHw2jFlhA

Length: 52min 55sec (3175 seconds)

Published: Fri Dec 11 2020